


Down the Steps of Steeper Slumber

by tiny_gay_robot



Category: Senki Zesshou Symphogear
Genre: F/F, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post XV, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Yuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:22:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 183,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22290253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiny_gay_robot/pseuds/tiny_gay_robot
Summary: They say that scars have the power to remind us the past was real, but when old wounds are torn open, and trust is shattered, will Hibiki and her friends be able to stand and sing within the heart of darkness?Or will they be swallowed whole?
Comments: 76
Kudos: 134





	1. All In A Day's Work

**Author's Note:**

> Oh snap here we go.
> 
> Welcome to Down the Steps of Steeper Slumber :)
> 
> First and foremost, I feel an appropriate forward should be given.
> 
> This fic gonna be dark y'all. And by that I mean it's gonna feature the characters confronting the darker aspects of their respective backstories. This means Chris, this means Hibiki, etc, etc. Please, gauge your comfort level appropriately, as much as I'd love for you all to read my fic, I don't want to put anyone into a bad state.
> 
> Secondly, leave feedback if you so wish! I love getting feedback, and anything you guys tell me that you think I need to improve on, please, by all means let me know. But I can't improve if I don't know what I am doing wrong, so let me know okey dokey?
> 
> And lastly, I must give all the thanks in the world to solopy567 for both inspiring this fic, and kicking my ass into gear to actually write it. 
> 
> Life's too short, so spread the love~

_“Yukine!_ Quickly!”

Miku shielded her eyes from the explosion, straining to see over the sleeves of her Faust Robes. The white haired girl was bleeding from the back of her head, her Gear sparking and smoking from the toll of battle. Far too damaged to fly, it could only barely keep Chris alive as she sprinted across the ruined street that had served as their battlefield.

Miku could see Tsubasa crawling out from under the rubble of a collapsed building two blocks away, a piece of rebar piercing through the back of her knee and out the front.

“ _Senpai!”_

Miku considered her options for a moment. Tsubasa was the far better one-on-one combatant, but Chris’s unpredictable marksmanship made her a nightmare to deal with. Chris turned, still sprinting, firing off pot shots from her magnum which Miku casually deflected, floating towards them in a graceful pursuit. 

“Yukine! Just go! Do not come for me!”

“Shut up!” Chris shouted as lightning lit up the night sky of what was once the great city of Tokyo. Chris fell against a burned out taxi, smearing blood on the side of the cab door. 

Truth be told, Miku pitied Chris the most. The girl who had suffered through so much, and was trying so hard to save her already doomed mentor.

“Chris…” Miku let her words hang in the night sky as it began to rain once more. She could see Tsubasa use her sword to raise herself, and screamed out in anguish when she put weight on her crippled leg. The rain did well to mask her tears.

“Don’t you fucking use her voice.” Chris shouted at her. All fire, she propped herself up against the car and fired another shot, the recoil of the magnum sending her stumbling back, but still she kept on firing. Miku swiped every bullet out of the air with a flick of her hand. 

“ _Don’t you ever use her fucking voice!”_ Chris tearfully emptied the magnum, sliding backwards against the cab, catching herself before she hit the ground.

“It’s my voice, Chris. Shem-Ha is gone. You know that. We stopped her together, don’t you remember?” Miku said gently, lowering herself to the ground. 

Miku noticed the enormous chunk of meat missing from Chris’s side; it was no wonder Chris looked paler than usual. Miku was curious when she had caused that wound, as it was still bleeding profusely.

“I know you’re hurting. You’ve been hurting for so long, Chris. I don’t want to hurt you. I never did. I want to give you another chance to live your dream. To give you life. A life shining in silver, a monument for your beliefs, to show the world throughout history that you stood...” 

Miku closed her eyes, clasping her hands over her heart. “For your beautiful dream.” 

Chris’s desperate gasps echoed over the sound of the rainfall, which did little to mask the sound of her reloading her magnums.

“Kohinata! It’s me! Face me! I am the one you want!” Tsubasa’s desperate pleas reverberated from down the street. She pathetically limped from pile of rubble to a car, her leg unable to support her weight as she tried to close the gap. Not a single one of them thought she would make it in time, Tsubasa included.

Miku opened her eyes, staring down the barrel of Ichaival. “Will you let me fulfill your beautiful dream Chris?” She asked, seeing the tears in Chris’s eyes. 

“You were my first f-friend.” Chris’s voice was shaking. “I just... w-wish I c-could have saved you too.” 

Miku reached her hand out, taking the barrel of the magnum in her hands and pressing it against her forehead. Chris’s hands trembled, so Miku put her other hand on her wrist, steadying her.

“Yukine Chris. My wonderful friend with a beautiful dream. You have suffered so much in such a small amount of time.” At this point, Miku was crying too.

“I wish I could undo all the pain you endured and make every second of suffering go away. I wish I could have given you a chance at a happier life.” Miku said. Chris sobbed, the gun still held firmly in place. 

“But I can’t. I can only make sure that nothing like that ever happens again. That is _my_ dream Chris. You will be unbreakable in silver, as you were in life, never to be hurt again. A lifetime of pain and suffering, at long last, over.” Miku took the gun from Chris’s hand, tossing it to the side.

“I was never there for you, like you were for me.” 

“It’s okay.” Miku said, reaching her hand out, catching Chris’s tears under her thumbs as she cupped her cheek. “I never wanted you to be.” A blade flew over Chris’s shoulder, embedding itself into Miku’s cheek, the edge of the blade cutting into the back of her throat. 

Chris blinked out of her trance, looking behind her, seeing Tsubasa using her sword as a crutch, dragging her useless leg behind her. “Run, Yukine! Now!”

Miku could only sigh, pulling the blade from her cheek and dropping it behind her. “Such a bother…” She felt Chris try to pull away, but she kept her grip on her hand firm. “Chris-”

“Let me go!” 

“I will take care of Tsubasa, then we will make your dream come true.”

“No!” Chris slapped her hard, the sound like a gunshot. “Let go of me!” 

“Chris…”

 _“Armor Purge!”_ Chris’s body exploded. The Gear turned into shrapnel that ripped through Miku’s body like bullets. Miku felt herself stop in what would be mid flight, like she had been jerked back by a bungee cord. Looking down, she could see Tsubasa’s knife embedded in her shadow. 

Miku narrowed her eyes, looking up to see Chris fall to the ground. Stumbling naked through a puddle, Chris planted her heel, and like Miku herself had done so many times in her youth, took off into a mad sprint. It made Miku proud. Summoning a sigil in her hand, it began to shine in powerful transmutive energy, taking aim at Tsubasa.

“Yukine! Watch out!” Tsubasa ran as fast as she could on one leg. Rebar tore deeper into her knee cap with every movement of her leg. It made her a painfully easy target.

Miku let the beam of _Silver Transmutation_ shoot out of her hand, racing towards Tsubasa. But Chris, looking over her shoulder at the beam’s trajectory, gave a mighty leap towards her mentor. 

“ _Senpai!”_ Chris shouted, putting all her weight into shoving Tsubasa just out of the way. The beam hit her back in an explosion of light that threw Tsubasa into the side of a car.

Yukine Chris was dead before she hit the ground.

“Why would she do that?” Miku wondered aloud, feeling the shards of Ichaival embedded in her body disintegrate. The loud clang of Chris’s statue corpse hitting the street was drowned out by the torrential downpour that was now beginning in earnest.

 _“NO! YUKINE!”_ Tsubasa cried out at first, before calling out her friend’s first name. She threw herself onto Chris’s body, sobbing.

It was pitiful really. 

Miku focused on regenerating the wounds in her body; Tsubasa’s cries were a faint noise in the back of her mind. She had intended to immortalize Chris in silver in a more meaningful way, yet Chris had decided to put her mentor’s life before her own. 

For what purpose?

Did she think that Miku would deprive Tsubasa of the same salvation?

Tsubasa sat on her knees with Chris’s silver body in her lap, letting a wail of anguish from the deepest part of her soul. Her pain made Miku shiver, as it was an anguish she knew all too well. The days spent crying in the rain over a deceased friend was burned into her memory.

“It’s okay, Tsubasa-chan.” Miku said, her voice carrying over the rain, echoing through the city. The storm clouds blocked their view of the obliterated moon. Her words were soft and comforting. “You’ll be able to join them soon. I won’t let you die here alone.” 

“Chris. Maria. Kirika. Shirabe. They are waiting for you. You’ll shine, immortal in silver.” 

Tsubasa stared up at the sky. “They are not the only ones I will see again.” She said, standing up, looking taller than Miku had ever seen her. 

It was strange. Despite her misery, Miku could not help but notice that she looked at peace.

Miku vaporized the _Shadow Weave_ in a bright purple flash. “Are you ready? Tsubasa-chan?”

Tsubasa walked towards her, glowing in an azure light that floated over the entire battlefield. 

“Kazanari Tsubasa is a sword.” 

Miku let her feet touch the ground.

“Kazanari Tsubasa is a protector.” 

Tsubasa passed Chris’s body.

“Kazanari Tsubasa is a warrior.” 

Miku could feel the pain in her heart swell, seeing just how far Tsubasa was pushing herself. Trying even in her final moments to appear stronger than she was. 

“Kazanari Tsubasa is a singer.”

Miku could see the tears in her eyes now, hidden perfectly in rain.

“Kazanari Tsubasa is...a friend.” 

But the march could not go on forever.

Tsubasa stabbed the ground, panting, halting nowhere near close enough. “To Kohinata…” Tsubasa’s eyes met Miku’s, a powerful loving fire deep within. 

“And to…” 

It was the twitch at the corner of Tsubasa’s mouth that tipped her off. Miku realized that she was not looking at her, but looking _behind_ her. 

“ _TACHIBANA!”_

Miku turned on her heel in an instant. Flashing a bright purple force field of protection in front of her in a desperate attempt to avoid the God Killing Fist.

But it never came.

The rain petered down her force-field, the street empty of a Gungnir wielding Adaptor, or of her one true love. It took Miku a moment too long to realize before she felt the brief pain in her back. Tsubasa’s blade exploded from her chest, shining bright with blood. Her blood. It came back down on her, like rain.

Tsubasa wrapped her arms around her, sobbing into Miku’s ear. “I’m so sorry Kohinata. I’m so sorry I could not protect you. I’m so sorry I failed you.” Tsubasa’s body shook against hers, and Miku allowed herself to lean into the embrace, hands intertwining in Tsubasa’s. 

Neither of them were alone.

Tsubasa’s sobs died down as Miku kept stroking her hand, eventually pulling from the samurai’s embrace. “It’s going to be okay Tsubasa-chan.”

Tsubasa smiled at her.

Miku placed her hand on Tsubasa’s shoulder reassuringly, before calmly pulling her into a loving embrace, impaling her on her own sword.

“Ahhh!” Tsubasa cried out, clawing at Miku’s back. Miku tightened her hug, letting Tsubasa cry against her neck. “Kohinata…I am so sorry.”

“I forgive you.”

Miku felt Tsubasa gasp against her neck, “Is this what you meant, Kanade?” Tsubasa whispered through mouthfuls of blood, clutching to Miku as the life drained from her. Miku could only stroke the back of her neck gently, lowering her to the ground as the sword disintegrated. 

Miku did not let go of the embrace at first, sitting with Tsubasa for a long time in the rain. 

She looked peaceful, proud, and powerful, even in death. 

Miku stood up, closing her eyes, bowing to the bodies of Tsubasa and Chris. Gathering the power of Silver Transmutation in her hand, she thought of the pain in her chest, and the pride she felt for Tsubasa, getting her last hit with a gambit so clever. It made Miku smile.

“Goodbye, Kazanari Tsubasa.” 

It was over.

Miku lowered her hand, opening her eyes, she did not see the body of Kazanari Tsubasa.

_No…_

Tachibana Hibiki stared up from the ruined street, eyes lifeless, her shirt drenched with blood. She was dead, but her mouth was moving. 

“What happened...to...my sunshine…”

“ _NO!”_ Miku shrieked, falling to her knees. She wasn’t in Shénshòujìng anymore, she was in her Lydian uniform, which clung to her body in the rain. The rain which continued to poor all around her, this place she knew far too well. Hibiki’s grave site after the Lunar Incident. 

The place where a part of her died.

“ _Hibiki!_ ” She screamed feeling her knees begin to sink into the wet mud around her as Hibiki’s body rose up, clutching her in a hug. “No…” She felt Hibiki’s nails on her back, like knives, digging into her flesh.

_“NO!_

_~!~_

Miku woke up in a cold sweat.

Her trembling hands searched in vain for the hands she fell asleep holding, clutching at empty bed sheets. She could feel an anchor on her stomach; she couldn’t move, she could hardly breathe, and the space that should have occupied a sleeping Hibiki was empty. Her hand couldn’t stop searching, yet she could not tear her eyes from the ceiling. 

She had read before about how people would die in their sleep. People with epilepsy could have a seizure and vomit, and they’d just lie there and drown to death.

That’s what it felt like now. 

Her heart was beating far too fast. Pounding against her ribs, up past her collarbone and into her throat. She remembered what her track coach had told them for first aid. If you were running with someone and they collapsed, keep them on their side. But she couldn’t even do that! Not with this anchor that kept her pinned! Pinned so bad she could not even turn her head! She knew it! It wasn’t even an anchor! She was being encased in silver! Like she had done to all of them! She was going to die!

_It’s okay, Chris. Just focus on my voice. I promise, in ten minutes, everything will be fine._

Her own words of comfort washed over her like a bucket of ice.

Focusing on her heartbeat, she closed her eyes. She imagined looking down on herself from the ceiling. Imagining the kicked off sheets, the empty space next to her, her clammy skin and sweaty clothes. She imagined just hours ago when Hibiki had sneakily snuck her tongue into her mouth during their goodnight kiss. She imagined almost a year ago, when under the light of a meteor shower, her shining sun took her heart in her hands and promised to keep it safe.

She was right.

Ten minutes later, she was fine.

She sat up slowly, taking in deep breaths, letting them out in measure paces. She was covered in goosebumps, and the smell of sweat lingered on her like a rank perfume. She wet her lips, tasting the salt from her tears and felt the hardwood wall beside her. She opened her eyes, letting them readjust to the dark apartment, the moonlight flowing in from their patio. Straining her ears, she could hear the low ambient hum of Tokyo just outside. The perfect white noise for Hibiki’s overactive brain.

She could taste. She could feel. She could hear. She could smell. She could touch. She could see.

She was alive.

Dangling her feet over the side of the bunk bed, it was easy to see Hibiki out on the balcony, facing away from her and staring over the city. She took it slow, one foot after the other. Down the ladder she went, the cold hardwood floor under her feet reliably uncomfortable. Normally she hated how cold the floor of their apartment got in winter time, but now it acted as a kind reminder of the waking world.

Miku didn’t even bother to put on slippers. It was terribly cold out. Sinister December winds spelled doom for all, spreading a white blanket over the whole city. It made for a perfect time to make snow angels, or even some hot cocoa. It was like a winter wonderland, and in the quiet of the night, it was like a snapshot of something rare, something special.

Like Hibiki. 

She turned to look at Miku coming out, a warm smile turning to concern as Miku quickly wrapped her arms around her, burying her face in her chest. The concrete was like ice under her bare feet, and the wind cut through her thin pajamas like a knife, but she didn’t care. 

She couldn’t care. 

Nuzzling into her chest, the warmth of her skin flush against her cheeks, the strong muscles of her back just under her fingertips. The warmth flooded against the side of her face, running down the rest of her body and filling her up with a light that not even the gods could know.

They stayed like that for a while. Hibiki raining down small kisses of reassurance to the top of her head, little miracles of warmth rained down her body like a protective barrier against the harshness of the world.

Miku felt the coldness in the night air and the fear from before, and she was thankful. It brought her closer to Hibiki, and in this moment, she felt like Hibiki and her would lift off the patio still embraced, twirl together over the city, and float up into the universe. 

Like two shooting stars.

Miku didn’t fight it when Hibiki picked her up bridal style, nor when she carried her back inside. She only raised protest when Hibiki deposited her on the couch, only to get shushed by a finger to her lips and a soft squeeze to her hand. 

A promise.

Hibiki made tea from their CPR kit. It was an idea that Miku had for Chris when she got accepted into college. A collection of teas, treats, and niceties on the bad days, when simple words of comfort were not enough and when you needed some help to come back to your senses. It worked well for Chris, so they got one for their own place with some helpful donations from Maria and Tsubasa.

By the time the tea was done, Miku was fully awake. The witching hour had long passed, but she already knew she would not be getting back to sleep tonight, but she wouldn’t be spending that evening alone.

Hibiki kept her promise.

Taking the tea from her, Miku felt exhausted. Her body ached, and there was a thin veneer of frost that stuck to the moisture on her clothes and hair. Jack Frost had taken advantage of her sweaty state. Yet her mind was alive and racing, and she could only sip her tea and lean back with her eyes closed. The weight shift on their couch a comfortable disturbance, Hibiki gently took the tea from her hands and put it on the table.

Hibiki pulled her into her lap like she was little more than a doll. Miku never felt safer than she did right then. 

“Kohinata Miku.” Hibiki said. It was like she was testing the word out, the joy on the tip of her tongue as each syllable left her mouth. “Kohinata Miku. My sunshine.” When Miku opened her eyes, it was like she could just drown in the eyes of the girl who held her. The eyes that looked at her with such tenderness, such concern, such love. She felt like she was melting into Hibiki, no longer being held by her, but becoming a part of her.

“Tachibana Hibiki.” Miku let her hand cup Hibiki’s face, thumb stroking just over her cheekbone. “My shining sun. My brightest star.” She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against Hibiki’s, gasping, opening her mouth and capturing Hibiki’s lips. She clung to her for dear life, tears running down her face as Hibiki returned the kiss, holding her close once more, kissing the tears away.

“Miku is where I’m warmest. I’m never leaving the song that’s in my heart.” Hibiki pressed her finger against the scar on her chest, before pressing it against Miku’s heart drawing a soft sob from her. Using the sleeve of her long shirt, Hibiki wiped away the remaining tears. Miku knew she could be small now and that Hibiki would be bigger for her. Until she was capable of being where she was before.

“Hibiki?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

Hibiki’s mouth made a small ‘O’ of surprise, but the way that her face lit up went from the corners of her mouth to her pupils. The smile that could shine brighter than a thousand suns. And that smile brought Miku’s face up to hers, kissing her gently. She held it, and the two burned the memory into their minds forevermore.

When they parted, Miku was not even sure if she knew what a nightmare was anymore.

“Hey Miku?” 

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

Miku melted into that beaming smile of Hibiki’s. Those mischievous eyes, that reckless grin, the heart that was so full of kindness and determination. It was like her own precious miracle.

“Hibiki?” Her lips barely formed the whisper, staring deeper into her girlfriend’s eyes than she ever dared before.

“Miku?”

“Will you keep me?”

“Forever.”

~!~

Clapping her hands together, Chris bowed to her parents. “I’m going to go practice. I won’t be out too late.” She assured them with a smile. She made to leave the apartment, and her hand touched the doorknob when she stopped.

Walking back into the living room, she looked at her parents’ shrine again where three pictures rested. On the left was a picture of Chris at her birthday the year prior with her fellow Symphogear Adaptor's. On the right was a picture of her and Genjuro Kazanari, standing side by side on the day of her graduation from Lydian academy. Chris had worn a beautiful lavender dress for the event, while Genjuro had come in a suit as red as his hair with a handkerchief, well worn from his crying at the ceremony, hung out of his breast pocket like so many of his ties normally would. The last picture centered between the two featured a handsome male violinist and a beautiful woman with silver hair. 

“I didn’t forget it!” She huffed defensively, walking over to her violin case before turning on her heel and walking back to the door before stopping, hand on the door knob once again. 

“Fiiiiiiiiiine.” She walked back to the small closet near the entryway into the living room. “Yeah I’m putting on the scarf don’t worry.” She said, wrapping the red fabric around herself. The cotton tickled her nose, making her sneeze. She stomped her foot on the ground, “Okay!” she whined incessantly, walking back to her bedroom, grabbing her red gloves and putting them on.

Standing in front of her parents again, Chris held up her arms, showing off her gloves, her voice muffled through the scarf. “Can I go now?” She took a moment to herself, looking at her parents’ smiling faces, clasping her hands together, she bowed once more. “I love you too. Have a good day!” 

Comfortably warm, she picked up her violin case and opened the front door, and proceeded to scream in surprise at the sight of Hibiki, who returned her scream in kind.

“AHHHH!”

“AHHHHHH!”

“DUMMY!”

“CHRIS-CHAN!”

They both fell back on their butts, Chris narrowly avoiding crushing her violin underneath her while Hibiki narrowly avoided hitting her head against the 3rd floor apartment railing bannister. 

“What are you doing here!?” Chris barked, face burning in embarrassment.

“Chris-chan you startled me,” Hibiki said, nervously scratching the back of her head.

“You should have knocked!”

“I was about to when you opened the door!”

“ _You should have knocked faster_!” Chris yelled indignantly.

Hibiki just laughed, sitting up and offering her hand out to Chris. “Sorry to startle you Chris-chan, you scared me too.” She said with that infuriating beaming smile of hers.

“Dummy…” Chris said, reluctantly letting Hibiki help her up. 

It was then Hibiki seemed to notice her dress, “Oh, are you running errands?” She then spied Chris’s violin case. “OH! Chris-chan are you going to play today?” She clasped her hands in delight, looking like a puppy that just got told they were a good dog.

“No!” Chris said, harsher than she intended. “I’m...just practicing today.” She shut the apartment door behind her. “I don’t have time to hang out today.” She was about to tell the dummy it was because she had an exhibition coming up, but stopped when she saw Hibiki look unusually crestfallen.

“Oh...well, that’s okay then.” She flashed her that reliably fake Hibiki smile.

Chris narrowed her eyes in concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Ahh, it’s nothing.” Hibiki waved her hand with a grin, as if to casually dismiss the matter.

“Oi!” Chris raised her voice. “Don’t do that thing you do! What is it?” She locked eyes with Hibiki, who smiled nervously at being called out so directly. But then that same dejected look returned.

“It’s Miku.” Hibiki sighed. It was like a switch had been flipped, where before there had been a happily beaming Hibiki, was now a Hibiki who looked defeated, confused, and lost.

“What did you do?” Chris yelled, voice echoing over the sound of traffic three floors down.

“What?” Hibiki snapped out of the funk she seemed to fall into, before blushing and waving her hands. “No! Nothing like that!” She laughed nervously, scratching the back of her head again like she always did when she was anxious. Chris wondered if she was aware of that tick of hers.

“She...had a nightmare.” Hibiki said at last. Her eyes found Chris’s, searching almost. Her eyes held an unspoken frustration, agonizing at her inability to punch the bad dreams out of Miku’s head. 

_Fuck._

“How bad?” Chris said lamely. It was just one of those things you said in those types of moments, because Chris knew exactly how bad those nightmares for Miku got. Miku knew exactly how bad Chris’s own nightmares got. Her mind raced, rescheduling her plans tomorrow to get the practice she would have otherwise gotten today. She'd tell Kioku later. Miku needed her now.

“...Really bad.” Hibiki struggled to get the words out. Chris could feel how powerless Hibiki felt in that moment.

“Hey.” Chris put her hand on Hibiki’s shoulder. “You were there for her, right?” Chris asked rhetorically, Hibiki’s eyes still wide in shock at Chris’s unprovoked contact. 

“Yeah,” Hibiki mumbled, not breaking eye contact with Chris.

“Good.” Chris smiled at her, “You were right where she needed you to be.” Chris squeezed her shoulder, skin crawling at the gesture, but toughing it out for her sake.

Hibiki closed her eyes, letting loose a deep breathe she had unconsciously taken before smiling, determined fire filling her eyes. “Yeah.” 

_Don’t be sad, dummy._

“Is she here with you?” Chris asked as they began to walk down the stairway. Hibiki shook her head.

“I told her I was going to check on something and that I’d meet up with her in the park when I was done.”

“And what would you have done had I not been home?”

Hibiki grinned sheepishly, “Uhhh, well I didn’t think about that.” Chris scowled at her, so Hibiki followed up. “Chris-chan doesn't have a cell phone! How am I supposed to call you?” Hibiki’s eyes glowed for a second, and she leaned in close to Chris. “Do you want us to get you a phone for your birthday?”

For her offer and her closeness, Hibiki got a smack upside the head.

“No! Don’t get me anything for my birthday dummy!” Chris yelled, face burning at the thought of the couple spending money on her. She flinched when Hibiki grabbed her hand.

“You still have the gloves we got you from last year!” Hibiki said, grinning as she leaned in. “You liked our gift didn’t you, Chris-chan?” 

_“DO YOU WANT ME TO HELP OR NOT?”_ Chris’s yell echoed in the stairway. Hibiki apologizing profusely as they exited towards the parking lot. 

A tall blonde woman watched the two from the fourth floor balcony, a smirk forming on her lips.

~!~

_The door was open._

_Terrifying explosions had been rocking the village all day._

_The ceiling had already partially collapsed._

_The door was open._

_She could recognize the voices of her pimps._

_Sometimes the last thing she’d hear was their screams, right before a big explosion._

_Sometimes they wouldn't even get to scream._

_The door was open._

_Her captors were dropping like flies. Explosions and gunfire erupted all around the building, and the door was fucking open yet she couldn’t move._

_She wished she hadn’t moved out of the way of the rubble as the ceiling collapsed._

_She’d be free if she was dead._

_What cruel irony was it that her pimps would be killed and her prison would be destroyed, yet a slab of concrete would land on the chain that leashed her to the wall._

_A sick joke._

_The building was coming down._

_A tank shot the side of the building, destroying the cell right next to hers._

_Why’d you miss me?_

_The building came down with her in it._

_She was angry._

_Because in spite of everything, it had failed to kill her._

_She could hear her “liberators” speaking in American accents, laughing to each other as they walked over the rubble she was buried underneath._

_They were talking about purchasing some ladies of the night._

_It almost made her laugh._

_Little did they know they had a bargain right beneath their feet!_

_Everyone was the same._

_Liberator._

_Pimp._

_They had guns, numbers, and explosives._

_Power._

_Everyone was the same._

_Two days later, they would unbury her from her coffin._

_She was wrong._

_Everyone wasn’t quite the same._

_When her parents died._

_Her pimps found her right away._

_~!~_

Chris drew her bow across the strings, like she was ready to fire an arrow. Her piece finished, she let her violin fall to the side and bowed to a stunned Miku, who gave her a standing ovation.

Despite how cold it was in the park, Chris was positively sweating. She was just glad that her impromptu exhibition had not drawn on more attention. There was the occasional onlooker, but they kept their distance from the two girls. Perhaps they respected their privacy. Perhaps they were put off by the harsh sounds that came from Chris’s strings. Perhaps they were SONG agents there to make sure that no one was going to kidnap Miku for the third fucking time.

“That was beautiful Chris.” Miku said, wiping a tear from her eye. “Angry, but beautiful.”

Chris put her violin away, face burning at the praise. “I was angry when I wrote it.”

“What’s it called?”

Chris clicked the locks shut on her case, wiping the sweat from her brow. “ _Hell in Val Verde_.”

Miku’s eyes widened in acknowledgment. “Thank you for sharing that with me Chris.” She always said Chris’s name like that. Slow, measured, like it was the most important thing to say in the world. 

“Yeah.” Chris had to sit down. Her knees were shaking, and she had a lump in her throat. It was stupid really. Getting this emotional over music. 

_Oh shut up._

Chris unintentionally smiled. Sometimes it was a good thing to beat herself up. 

“Your smile is so wonderful Chris.” Miku said. There it was again. That infinitely patient voice she used, and the deliberate, caring tone. Every word was punctuated with kindness. “I love when you play your music for me, even when it comes from a place of pain.” Miku held her hand out in plain view of Chris. Only after she nodded did Miku place it on top of her knee.

It made Chris’s skin crawl, and she instinctively blocked an urge to slug Miku. The warning was nice, but she was raw after _Hell in Vel Varde_. Miku retracted her hand immediately after the flinch, but Chris’s shaking was impossible to ignore.

“Sorry.” Chris said. She stared at her snow boots pointedly, red faced with shame.

“No, Chris. I’m sorry.” Miku said. Understanding behind her words. “Do you need ten minutes?”

_Ten minutes._

“I think I’m okay.” Chris said uncertainly. She closed her eyes, reaching her hand out and taking Miku’s in hers. When she squeezed, Miku squeezed back. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.” She looked Miku in the eyes, flashing her with the smile she knew Miku loved. “Are you?”

Ichaival was primarily a long ranged weapon. Be it in the form of a bow, a crossbow, a magnum, a sniper rifle, a gatling gun, a rocket, or a railgun. Your vision had to be near perfect in order to properly utilize it. Perception, depth of perception, and a keen eye were key in terms of mastering it. Failure to do so would end up causing the Symphogears backfire feature. 

Kohinata Miku was an expert liar. You wouldn’t know it from her personality, how she talked, or what she did. You’d only be able to pick up on it from spending a large amount of time with her, seeing her tics, her evasive behavior, and her prioritization of others. It was an infuriating quality she shared with her girlfriend, and one that Chris could see a mile away. 

Blind.

“Of course.” Miku smiled. “Are you going to play that at your exhibition?”

“Don’t be like the dummy. Talk.” Chris said firmly, but without her usual venom. She was careful with her words for Miku. Miku always seemed to think about her words at least twice before they left her mouth, so Chris tried to repay the favor in kind.

Miku’s smile betrayed a pained expression. “Hibiki told you then?” She wasn’t looking at Chris anymore, but rather was fixated on a tree adjacent to the hill they were on.

“Not everything. But enough.” Chris didn’t like to lie.

“She’s always so nosy.” Miku laughed bitterly, letting Chris’s hand drop as she stood up. “I’m not okay Chris.” When she turned back to her there were tears in her eyes. “I’m really not.”

“Okay.” Chris said, standing up. “You’re not okay.” She nodded at Miku, whose mouth opened with a small gasp of surprise when Chris used her sleeve to wipe the tears from her eyes. “But you can’t cry when it’s this cold out. It’ll hurt your face.” She said with a smile, caressing Miku’s cheek.

“Chris…” Miku said slowly in a way that Chris liked. “You’re so silly.” Miku laughed then, a less bitter laugh, wiping the tears away with the palm of her hand. “It seems all I can do is cry lately.” She sniffled, smiling sincerely again. “Could we maybe do this somewhere warmer?”

They found a bustling cafe inside the mall, which Miku swore had the best hot chocolate she ever tasted. Hibiki and her had gone there on one of their very first dates. Hibiki had somehow managed to spill hot chocolate not only on herself, but also Miku and the couple behind them. It was too easy not to laugh at their mutual friend’s expense, even if Chris could tell Miku was trying to postpone the topic as much as possible.

But with a private booth, hot chocolate at their fingertips, and Chris’s unflinching glare, they both knew it was time.

“It’s silly really.” Miku began. Her fingers traced the side of her hot chocolate. “It was just a dream. I love her, but Hibiki worries too much. So do you.”

“I wrote _Hell in Val Verde_ because of a dream.” Chris said. Her voice was even, but Miku looked like Chris had just called her a horrible slur. Chris pressed the advantage. “Is that silly?” Chris let the space between them fill with a pregnant silence while Miku hung her head in shame.

Chris did not break the silence. She knew Hibiki and Miku well enough to know they needed the noise of conversation in moments like this, to control the language, to divert the topic. To talk so much that you lost focus of what you were discussing before that made them uncomfortable. 

“Do you ever scare yourself Chris?” Miku said, eyes locked on the steam rising from her cup.

“Yes.” Chris said immediately, looking Miku up and down. She had dressed in a dark green long sleeve shirt that looked warm. Chris’s was a red striped sweater that her parents insisted she get.

“Do you ever scare yourself so much that it makes you excited?” Miku asked. Chris nearly flinched at that. She had thought Miku was talking about her at first, but there was an edge to her voice now. It wasn’t angry nor spiteful. It sounded hyper and happy, hell, even downright _giddy._ Chris did not answer, but she could tell something else was coming.

“Do you ever scare yourself because you realize there’s just so much you could do? That there’s just so much you could do and there’d be _nothing_ anyone could do to stop you?” Miku’s eyes were dazzling at this point. “Do you ever scare yourself because you realize there’s so much you can do and there’d be no one to stop you, because you could _make it_ so that there was no one to stop you?”

It was Miku’s turn to let the silence fill the space between them. 

It took Chris a moment to gather her thoughts. She was not sure what she expected, but it was not this. “What was your dream?” It was a wild gambit, acting as if the crazy shit Miku had just said wasn’t crazy, but there was a manic energy in Miku’s eyes that terrified Chris. And not for her sake.

“I murdered you all.”

_Fuck._

“You...murdered us?” Chris said carefully, watching Miku’s eyes seem to almost sink into themselves in self loathing.

“All of you. Except Hibiki, but somehow I killed her too.” Miku’s voice broke at the end of the sentence, and she broke eye contact, gathering herself. 

Chris was thankful, as it gave her a chance to recover. She had an advantage she knew she had to press, or else Miku would wall up and not let anything go. But the extended unbroken eye contact was exhausting. It was like playing a game of chicken on the train tracks. Someone was gonna get hurt.

After a moment, and determining that Miku had not walled herself off, Chris pushed forward with the obvious solution. “Listen to me.” She put both hands on Miku’s, which were clenched around her untouched hot chocolate. “The things that that thing did in your body are not your fault. You didn’t have a choice.” Chris forced the words out of her mouth, difficult as they were. Her point was clear.

“Chris…” Miku sighed, pulling her hands away. “This isn’t about Shem-Ha.” Miku said with a degree of casual annoyance that shocked Chris. Miku _never_ said that name.

“Then what is it about?”

Miku blinked, “Me.” Chris could not help but notice that Miku looked like the most miserable girl in the world at that moment.

“No. That thing was not you. It may have looked like you, it may have talked like you, but it wasn’t you.” Chris dug her heels in, ready to die on this hill. “It used you. Against your will. It used your body, it used your voice-” no sooner had the words come out of her mouth, Miku caved in the aluminum napkin holder with her fist.

“ _I KNOW THAT!_ ” Miku screamed at her, tears of self hatred in her eyes.

Chris felt the wind get knocked out of her. Miku looked positively sickly, her fist embedded still in the dispenser, her other hand gripping the table hard enough to break her fingernails. She was sweating and had tears in her eyes at the same time, but looked ghastly pale, like a ghost. Chris then saw the big problem: Miku’s hand was bleeding.

A waitress nervously came over, poking her head in. “Is everything okay over here?”

“Yeah.” Chris said automatically, “My friend and I are just going to go to the bathroom.” Chris said, taking Miku’s hand and leading her to the bathroom.

It was a modest sized bathroom with two sinks and four stalls. Chris didn’t mind, as it made so that it was not claustrophobic. 

Miku was barely responsive, letting Chris drag her hand to the sink and under running water. It was a small cut, just on the edge of her palm, but Chris held it under when she tried to flinch her hand away. 

“Don’t move. You’ve lost hand rights.” Chris said stubbornly, using a combination of paper towels, napkins, and toilet paper to patch up the wound. Hand cuts had a bad habit of being bleeders. “Don’t look at it if it’s going to make you pass out.” Chris said, keeping an eye on Miku through the reflection in the mirror. She was no doctor, but she knew enough. Improvising a bunch of toilet paper into a makeshift band aid, she kept Miku’s hand elevated, replacing the tissues as needed.

“It wasn’t her.”

It was the first word she had spoken since she screamed at her. Chris only made eye contact through the mirror, but it seemed as though Miku was looking at herself in a whole new light.

“I had her power. But it was me. All me. I hunted you guys down.” Her words sounded far away, even as Chris took the tissues away and cleaned the cut with soap.

“I turned you into a silver statue. I vaporized Maria. I turned Kirika and Shirabe into statues right before they could hold each other for comfort. I stabbed Tsubasa in the heart.” Chris guided her hand back under the hot water, cleaning it out once more.

“It was for her. My shining sun.” Miku said it with a sad smile. Chris got herself some more tissues, bending Miku’s arm back and applying pressure. “I didn’t want to share her. The idea of you all getting close to her drove me crazy. I knew I couldn’t kill you, so I’d turn you into silver statues instead. Only...I ended up in Hibiki’s grave.” Miku finished, shuddering to herself at the memory of the image. “I killed everyone to be with her, including her.”

Satisfied that the cut was clean, Chris replaced the tissues a final time, pressing down hard on the cut. Miku cried out loudly at the sudden pain, “OW! Chris! That hurt!” She fetched her arm away from Chris, holding the tissues to her wound.

“Keep applying pressure, and keep your hand up, or you’re gonna pass out.” Chris said, looking Miku in the eyes directly for the first time since they had gotten in the bathroom. “You didn’t kill me. I didn’t kill me. Finé didn’t kill me. Nobody killed me.” She stuffed the paper towels and toilet paper into the trash bin. “You didn’t kill the dummy, or the kids, or senpai or her girlfriend. You had a bad dream is all. Because bad things have happened to you. Sometimes when bad things happen to us, we think about being the bad ones doing it to other people.” She shrugged, her hands covered in Miku’s blood. “It makes us feel better. Being in control when we weren't before.”

Miku looked stunned by her blunt proclamations. “Chris…” She looked at her hand, she barely even noticed that she was hurt, let alone that Chris had taken care of it. “I don’t know what to say.”

“How ‘bout thank you for starters? Say you don’t have any diseases or anything right? I didn’t use gloves and now I look like _Lady Macbeth_.” She emptied the entire soap container onto her hands and began to thoroughly rinse her hands. Catching Miku’s confused expression in the mirror, Chris barked at her. “What? They never teach you kids any fucking _Shakespeare?_ ”

Miku met her eye in the reflection. Chris, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, hands covered in soap and blood. Miku, holding a tissue to her hand, looking pale as a skeleton. Chris grinned at her, and Miku’s lips formed a tight thin line, before they both burst out into laughter.

~!~

“Miku! What happened to your hand?” Hibiki said, immediately inspecting the wound.

“That’s what you get for trying to feed the squirrels.” Chris said automatically. She made a finger gun at a tree as they walked past the park. “Little rats will take your arm off if you’re not careful.”

“Chris was very helpful in taking care of it.” Miku said, smiling guiltily but thankfully at Chris for keeping her cover.

_All in a day's work._

“I’ll just add it to your bill.” Chris said, putting her hands behind her head with a smug look on her face. 

“So does that mean we can pay it back with a birthday present, Chris-chan?” Hibiki said, giggling with mischief as they waited for the traffic light to turn green.

“OI! What did I tell you about that?”

“I think we should get Chris-chan a cellphone for her birthday!” Hibiki said, cheerfully ignoring Chris’s finger pointed directly in her face.

“Perhaps Chris would like to go and pick one out with us?” Miku said helpfully. 

The finger of doom turned onto Miku. “OI! Don’t you start too. College is the only place I can escape this dummy.” Chris said, jerking her thumb in Hibiki’s direction.

“Chris-chan hates me!” Hibiki whined, stopping when Miku touched her shoulder. But Miku was looking behind them both, at Chris, who had stopped dead in her tracks.

“Chris?”

Chris’s eyes frantically scanned the park. Chris’s eyesight was the one thing in the world she could trust. She had made shots through the pitch black of space, shot a leg off nanoseconds before disintegration, and could shoot the wings off a fly without killing it at point blank range. 

And that trust was fucking her up.

“Chris-chan…” Hibiki said slowly approaching.

“Ah!” Chris broke out of her trance, reflexively slugging at Hibiki, who caught the fist at the wrist carefully but let it go once Chris wrenched it back.

“Chris!” Miku said in shock. Chris was rubbing her wrist, eyes wide and almost bulging out of her head. Miku got down on her knees in Chris’s vision, holding her hands up in peace sign. Hibiki turned her back to them, establishing a defensive pose.

Hibiki’s eyes scanned the park, the street, and the intersections. Busy people, beginning to head home from work at the end of a busy day, few stares returned hers. It was getting late, the sun setting and a lot of people were out and about. Easy time to slip away.

“Chris. What did you see?” Miku implored, looking at the girl who was gritting her teeth.

_Dead._

_She’s dead dipshit._

_Stop it._

_Stop it right fucking now._

“Nothing I...was seeing things.” Chris wanted to close her eyes and forget the whole day.

“Chris-chan!” Hibiki’s drill instructor like voice shook Chris out of her funk. “What did you see?” She was only glancing at her over her shoulder, fists up and ready to punch out anything that threatened her.

It gave Chris the strength to speak.

“Finé.”

The word felt disgustingly comfortable coming out of her mouth.

Miku gasped, hand over her mouth. Hibiki turned her head fully to look at Chris, mouth open in shock, but understanding. She nodded firmly and pulled out her transceiver, but Chris grabbed her arm. “Wait, please, can we check it out first?”

Hibiki looked to Miku, neither liking the idea.

“If it’s nothing, then it’s going to get everyone worried over nothing. I don’t know what I saw. Let me just make sure it’s her.” Chris pleaded, not even realizing she was holding Hibiki’s hands in both of hers.

Hibiki glanced at Miku again, who was already closing her phone, having rapidly sent a text while Chris’s back was turned. Hibiki nodded at Chris. “Okay, let’s check it out.”

Chris had a bad feeling.

She rarely felt good really. People talked too much, often about nothing, for too long. She liked it at SONG or at school. There was purpose, rhyme, reason, order, schedule, which people had to keep to. And her home was this private little fortress for her. People would not look at her or try and start a conversation with her. She could just relax there with her parents, and if she wanted she could let people in and spend time with them, or she could not.

Those times were the times she felt good.

She could invite Tsubasa and Maria over, and she and Maria could make fun of Tsubasa’s inability to clean up after herself. She could invite Kirika and Shirabe over, and she’d yell at them to eat better, maybe cook for them and help them with their homework till she kicked them out by walking them all the way home. She’d invite Hibiki and Miku over, and she and Miku would laugh while Hibiki played on Chris’s console, trying and failing to beat the same boss again and again.

Sometimes she’d just be with her parents.

She would light a small candle between her and the shrine, get a small pillow to sit on and talk about her day. Her classes, maybe recount an old mission, the piece of song she was writing, the clothes she was eyeing, and the book she was enjoying. Maybe tell them how Hibiki was stupidly nice, or how beautiful Miku looked that day. She’d ask for advice on how much Kirika and Shirabe terrified her, or how she felt awkward around Maria sometimes or joke about how Tsubasa managed to somehow once again tell her she was a sword. 

Sometimes she would fall asleep like that. Despite the hardwood floor, it was always the best sleep she’d get. She woke up feeling good. Feeling healthy. Like there was nothing to fear in the world. 

Like things were gonna turn out alright.

This was not one of those times.

This was not one of the good times

There was a knot in her stomach. Every single step she took towards the edge of the park turned made it tighter, feeling as if it was grinding up her guts. Every step felt like a mile, and her hands shook so bad it hurt her shoulders. The wind cut like a farmer wielding a scythe, down to the bone with no chance of protection.

She was impossibly thankful to Hibiki for leading the charge. Power walking in stride, Hibiki had her head on a swivel, looking for what Chris might miss. Miku held Chris’s violin close to the chest, protecting it like a mother might protect their newborn child.

The knot was like a gear, wounding tighter and tighter, for every inch of the sidewalk they didn’t find the blond woman in black clothes on. Chris had only seen her for a second, but the way her blonde hair had swayed, the glasses...could it have been her?

“Chris…” Miku’s gentle words broke the silence as they got to the far left corner of the parks perimeter. Chris was certain she had seen her turn around and walk up the sidewalk.

“I swore I saw her.” Chris said uncertain. Doubt had lingered on the edge of Miku’s voice, and now it was infecting her as well. Did she see her? How certain could she really be after all? She had not gotten great sleep the night before. The exhibition was coming up, not to mention Miku’s nightmare. She was under a lot of stress, and people saw things when that happened right?

“We believe you Chris.” Miku said with confidence, careful not to instinctively take Chris’s hand. “Just because we don’t see her now does not mean we think you did not see her.” Miku’s eyes were startling emerald, it stunned Chris to look into them.

“I…”

“We’ll find her.” Hibiki said, eyes scanning the streets. She turned back and gave them both a grin of confidence. “We’ll find her, and tell her about how bright the future we have been able to make is.” Hibiki’s words were like a punch to the gut. “I can tell her I believed in the song in my heart.” She said, placing her hand on her chest. 

The crossing signal turned green for them, and Hibiki bolted off to the other side of the street. Miku went to follow, but turned around.

It was like she knew.

_“I can tell her I believed in the song in my heart.”_

Chris felt herself toppling backwards, the park wall saving her from landing on her back. The concrete was cold beneath her touch, and her nails dug in deep to support the weight her legs no longer could. The gear that was the knot in her stomach had churned, taking her lungs and heart down, yet how could she hear the beating in her ears? 

She could breathe, but her lungs would not fill. There was a sudden pain in her chest, a tightness around her heart that reached through, going around her spine and up into her brain. A hand of frozen death, nails piercing into her heart and brain.

This was death.

She was dying

_I’m gonna fucking die!_

She was clutching at Ichaival, or was she clutching at her heart? She breathed and yet no air went into her lungs. There was someone shouting, and for a moment she thought it might have been her. But that was silly. There was not a shout in her soul, but a scream, and she had no air to let it out of her. It stayed there, locked in place, being ground up by the gear that was the knot in the pit of her stomach, threatening to grind her entire body into mush.

A painful warmth wrapped itself around her neck. Spider like legs snaked by her ear and into her hair, pincers like a crab just below her chin. It was directing her head, to look at that which was in front of her. Her eyes could not focus on a single thing, not a thing but the two dazzling emeralds that never lost their focus on her.

She felt small.

The hands held her face, forcing her to gaze deep into its emerald pools. She was under lock and key, but this was okay. She knew this. Those emerald eyes that she wished were gold. Just look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. Look at Her. 

“Chris.”

 _“Chris.”_

_The door is open._

A **girl,** in front of her, black hair, green eyes, that burned with embers of resolve.

_A woman. Beautiful. Statuesque. Blonde. Her lips are tinted with purple lipstick. A smirk._

The **lips** she could see.

The _lips_ she missed.

The **lips** she wanted.

The _lips_ she hated.

The **eyes** she saw.

She closed her eyes. 

She placed her hands over Miku’s, taking a deep breath as she pulled them away from her face. She had ended up on her knees somehow, and Miku was there on the ground with her. 

Those emerald eyes.

They were an anchor.

“...and you are a wonderful friend, whom I am so lucky to have in my life...”

“Hey.” Chris croaked out, coughing a bit. The knot was in her throat, beating away like a second heart. 

She would not cry right now.

“Six minutes.” Miku said. That was one of the things Chris loved about Miku. She answered the questions before Chris had to ask them.

_It’s okay Chris. Just focus on my voice. I promise, in ten minutes, everything will be fine._

_But what if I focused on your eyes instead?_

“Not bad I guess.” Chris kept Miku’s hands in hers, tracing the fingers tentatively. “I don’t know what happened.” Chris admitted in a way that made her feel vulnerable.

“Is everything okay?” Hibiki asked as she walked behind Miku, holding Chris’s violin.

Chris didn’t mean to flinch at Hibiki’s presence. It just happened. It happened and she couldn’t undo it, nor could Hibiki undo how hurt she look by the flinch. The confusion and pain were there, if only for a second, and Chris knew that she had hurt her friend with her pain.

“Hibiki, could you please get Chris some water?” Miku said. Never one to let a problem remain one, Miku implored Hibiki with her eyes.

“Yeah. Okay.” Hibiki said, blinking back her true emotions and nodding with a smile. “One water! Coming right up!” She said before taking off.

“I’m sorry.” Chris said automatically. She felt hurt by Hibiki and she knew why, but there was no possible way she could say it.

“I don’t want you to tell me you’re sorry Chris.” Miku’s voice was kind, but firm. “I want you to tell me what’s happening.” The fire in her emerald eyes were as inviting and warm as they had ever been, but they held a need for honesty.

“I...don’t know what you mean.” Chris said honestly. “I thought that...Finé was there, and...” Her head began to pound. It felt like the knot was coming back.

“Chris.” Miku was stroking her hand now. “Is there something you’re not telling us?”

It wasn’t like Miku to be this blunt. To be this invasive. She always gave Chris her space, gave Chris her privacy, gave Chris her agency. 

But this was different.

Chris knew she would not be questioning her for no reason. Miku knew how defensive Chris could be. She was willing to risk her friendship with her to get to the bottom of it.

_Coward._

_She was honest with you._

A minute passed before Chris could speak again.

“Yes.” She breathed it out. 

“Does it have to do with where she went?” Miku was fully practical. It reminded Chris of herself in the bathroom.

“No.”

“But it does have to do with her?”

Chris bit her lip, feeling a pressure in her cheekbones. 

_Why couldn't you have just told everyone Old Man?_

“Yes.”

“Chris.” It snapped her into focus, the name spoken almost militantly. “Is it something you can talk about now?”

_And tell you what? The woman your girlfriend forgave fucked me six ways to Sunday? Sure let's chat about it over sushi._

“No.” Chris sat on her butt, back against the park wall. Wrapping her knees up to herself, she hated how pathetic she looked. “Six minutes wasn’t enough.” 

Miku blinked, the fire in her eyes dimming. “Okay.” She seemed shocked that Chris was able to get more than one word out. Chris could hardly blame her.

“I’ll talk about it. But not here. Not today.” Chris resting her forehead against her knees. “I will talk about it. I just. Can’t. Not today.” She wanted to cry so badly. “Not today.”

“Take your ten minutes Chris.”

“Or twenty minutes!” Hibiki said brightly, two bags under her arms. “Or thirty minutes, or a whole day, or a whole week!” She walked past Miku, sitting down in the middle of the snowy sidewalk in front of Chris. Fishing out some Pocky, she stuck a stick of it in Chris’s shocked mouth. “But no one has ever felt better on an empty stomach.” There was an apology in her eyes.

There were tears in Chris’s.

“Why are you so dumb all the time?” Chris felt the two girls sitting on either side of her, as they began to dish out Hibiki’s snack grab to her, each other, and themselves. People would walk by and stare, even laugh a bit to themselves at the odd sight of three young adults sitting against the park wall in the middle of winter.

But the three girls would sit there, and slowly they would all be laughing again. Despite the harsh December winds, the pain that they had been through, and the memories of that which they had yet to confront, they were still able to laugh when Hibiki used the Pocky sticks to make herself look like a walrus.

Their laughter carried on the winds, up to the rooftops, where a beautiful blonde woman glared down at them.

“Why does no one do what I want?”


	2. Callous

"The blood of Ogawa Shinji will be shed tonight.” 

Tetsuya Goto twirled his katana in his hands like it was a toy. 

“You will bear our message to the Kazanari clan, that Tetsuya Gooto will soon inherit all that the great monster Fudo used to command!” The Yakuza boss’s voice echoed throughout the Tokyo harbor. 

He had set the perfect trap for the notorious middle child of the Ogawa clan. Attacking the docks where the newly formed Kazanari Organization received so much of its imports.

Goto knew just the right kind of bread crumbs to leave, so that the Kazanari Organization would know he was after the head of the clan. No doubt it would attract the attention of her manager; the notorious Ogawa Shinji, who would try to investigate the problem himself. He was the heiress’s manager after all. Any matter that affected her would be directly handled by him.

What a fool!

“I hope the rumors of you being able to walk on water are true Shinji-kun.” Goto said, letting his katana press just under the SONG agent’s chin. The agent, to his credit, held a neutral expression, even with his arms held behind his back by Goto’s two toughest grapplers.

“Do you intend to drown me?” Ogawa asked cheerfully. 

“Oh yes. Piece. By. Piece.” Goto said with a sadistic smile. The docks would make a good spot for Ogawa’s execution. He was far from a stupid man, as he knew Ogawa would have back up. That’s why he had his ten most trusted killers on the docks with him as well, all armed with automatic weapons. 

“Goto-sama! Should we unload now?” One of his subordinates called from the ship. Two guarded the steps to the docks, four were on the ship, and the remaining four with him to see to Ogawa’s execution. 

“Be silent!” Goto’s voice echoed throughout the dock. The two enforcers not holding Ogawa made sure to keep their guns trained on him at all times.

“I can wait if you need to go supervise.” Ogawa offered.

“Ha!” Goto laughed hard, casually spinning his blade. “Bold move boy, but stalling won’t help you here.” He pointed the blade at the tip of Ogawa’s nose. “Do you have any last requests, Shinji-kun?” He asked mockingly, the last words he said to all of his victims before he cut them down.

_“We got a call for help from you, and we’re making an emergency run!”_

Goto was stunned by the ringtone. Looking around to every single one of his enforcers, wondering just who he was going to have to cut into tiny little pieces.

_“Electricity runs down my chest, and I’m getting goosebumps!”_

Shaking with anger as he pieced it together, Goto turned to Ogawa.

_“There’ll be more than just a warning shot!”_

“Would you like to get that?” Goto barked at the ninja.

_“Bang-bang blaster!”_

“If it’s not too much of a bother.” Ogawa said cheerfully.

_“I won’t let the suspect escape.”_

Goto fished the phone out of Ogawa’s coat. “Who is this?”

 _“Shuriken handcuffs...”_ One of his enforcers behind him muttered. Goto glared at him harsh enough to kill.

“Kohinata Miku. Is Ogawa-san there?” A young girl’s voice? What was this?

Goto thought for a moment, handing the phone to an enforcer who put it to Ogawa’s ear.

Ogawa carefully cradled it into his shoulder, “Hello? Oh Miku-san! I hope you have been well? Huh? Oh no don’t worry, I’m not busy.” He assured her. “The exhibition starts at six-thirty? Thank you so much, I will make sure we will be there. Do you happen to know the dress code?” He nodded, memorizing the instructions, while the bruisers who held his arms looked up at Goto incredulously. 

Goto lost his patience, hands shaking with anger. Nobody mocked him. NOBODY

“You dare mock the presence of the shaking mount-” 

“Excuse me.” Ogawa used the same voice he would have used to call a server, yet it felt as if he had shouted. “I’m sorry Miku-san, please continue.” He nodded, once, twice, before looking up towards the crow’s nest of the ship. “Maria-san, we may have to do a bit of dress shopping.”

Gasps sprung out across the docks, every eye on the crows nest, where a young pink haired woman, clad in SONG uniform stood. “We shall get that done tomorrow then! Tsubasa! We are going shopping!”

“ _It’s Maria Cadenzavna Eve!”_

_“The idol!”_

_“The Symphogear!”_

But Goto was not worried about Maria or Ogawa.

He had heard _her_ name.

“Tsubasa? _Kazanari Tsubasa?”_ His roar was drowned out by the sound of a motorcycle engine, which plowed through the guards he had protecting the entrance to the bay. A rider covered entirely in a blue motorcycle uniform gave a thumbs up to Maria as she sped towards him.

“Ogawa-san, is everything okay?”

“Oh yes Miku-san. We’re just arranging for when we can go shopping.” Ogawa said, calmly bashing the two bruisers who held his arms behind his back’s faces together.

“Kazanari Tsubasa! Goto Tetsuya will crush you!” The Yakuza boss said, sprinting towards the girl who was speeding down the docks. “Clash swords with me, heiress!” 

Ogawa superkicked one of the two remaining guards off the dock. The other raised his gun, but Ogawa caught his wrist, pulling him into a ripcord lariat that sent the gangster flying into nearby crates.

Maria calmly leaped from the crows nest, landing on the enforcer’s chest with her heels as he cried out, “Goto-sam-AH!” 

“Oh no!” Was all the blonde enforcer had to say, as Maria somersaulted off a crate of drugs, kicking him in the face as she did so, then landing on her feet and hitting another enforcer with a spinning back elbow.

Goto meanwhile, made a mighty leap at the speeding Tsubasa with a massive overhead strike. He could see her! The heiress! He would collect her head! 

Tsubasa hit the brakes, skidding her bike on its side, swinging it by the handlebars like it was an oversized bat.

Goto realized too late that he was about to have a very bad day.

Tsubasa easily swatted Goto with her motorcycle, sending the Yakuza boss flying into the air, over the railing of the boat, and knocking one of his enforcers off their feet.

“Would you like us to keep our profile low, so as to keep the surprise for Yukine-san?” Ogawa asked, straightening his tie.

Tsubasa dismounted her bike, letting her hair flow out of her helmet. “We should call the authorities.” She took out her cell phone, dialing the police emergency number. “Yes? Hello, police? I have defeated the Yakuza.”

Maria’s guffawing laughter could be heard from the Lunar Ruins.

Ogawa could only smile patiently. “Miku-san, I will have to call you back. Rest assured we will be there.” He politely hung up, approaching Tsubasa, who looked frustrated at the person on the other end of the line.

“Why would I be making a call to the police as a joke?” She said fussily, before Ogawa politely, but quickly, took the phone from her. She could not help but pout, “Why did they think I would lie?”

“Tsubasa. I do not think we pay Ogawa enough.” Maria laughed as she jumped from the ship.

“Ogawa will not allow me to raise his pay.” 

“You know you’re the one who makes that decision right?” Maria said without thinking. “Wait...” catching Tsubasa’s pink cheeks just made Maria smirk. “Because he would be the one giving himself a raise wouldn’t he?”

“The responsibilities of the Kazanari Organization fall to Kazanari Tsubasa. Ogawa’s assistance in mastering the ins and outs of these things are inval-” Tsubasa’s red faced defense was silenced with a finger to her lips.

“Tsubasa. I was joking.” Maria reassured her, before turning to admire the harbor. “I only wish that gangsters stealing from you was the extent of our problems.” Maria said, now more somber.

“Finé will not be able to avoid the spotlight. It is not like her.” Tsubasa said, taking Maria’s hand.

They had arrived in town ahead of Christmas at Miku’s secret invitation to see Chris’s exhibition. The very next day, Chris claimed to have seen Finé while out with Hibiki and Miku. Ever since, Maria and Tsubasa had been out every night searching for signs of Finé, while still keeping their presence a secret from Chris. Their presence at the exhibition was intended as a surprise, and they did not want the current matter to ruin that.

“How can we be sure?”

“What?” 

“Finé has lived longer than most myths and legends.” Maria was staring at the reflection of the moon in the water now. “When she made her presence known in the modern age, she wanted to rule over all of mankind.” Maria could her blood boil, remembering the anxiety of being a Receptor Child. “But she refused to reenter the picture. Choosing to let her soul be bisected instead of letting Shirabe perish.” Maria bit her lip, a nervous habit. “She threw away years of preparation because of a sudden change of heart. How can we predict someone like that?”

“Finé posed for years as Ryoko Sakurai. There are times that I think back now where I am not certain if she even knew she was playing a part, or if the relationship was symbiotic.” Tsubasa said, remembering her old mentor. “Perhaps those years consuming the lives of others has changed her more then we could ever know?”

“Mom said that Finé would destroy our souls when she took over.” Maria’s hand twitched in Tsubasa’s. “If Finé is back, whose soul did she consume?”

“The other Receptor Children?”

Maria could see herself in the reflection of the water now. She imagined Finé’s reflection there instead, it made her feel like dying.

“I have been trying to think of an alternative. Of any alternative, but...” Maria could not finish the sentence.

“Uncle will be able to look into the fates of the Receptor Children. Perhaps it is not too late to save their souls.” Tsubasa offered Maria a smile, which she returned, albeit bitterly.

Maria shook her head, clutching her hand around Airgetlám. “I do not know what role Finé plans to play, but she has already taken one life to play it.”

“One to many.” Tsubasa said, holding her hand tighter. “We will continue our pursuit.” 

“Finé.” Maria muttered to herself, “If you have truly taken over a Receptor Child...” 

Ogawa finished the call, but kept his distance. He knew they’d be ready soon.

“... _Then to hell with you_ ! _”_ Maria’s eyes threatened to tear up in anger. 

“Maria.” Tsubasa’s voice was like fire, casting light into Maria’s darkness. “If Finé has truly rejected the path Tachibana set her down, then that will be a mistake she will not be given a chance at repeating.” 

Maria could only smile, looking at their reflection. A dark possibility crossed her mind, but she banished it with a look to Tsubasa, letting go of her hand. “Then we can’t waste time. Let’s go. The night is young.”

Tsubasa had a confused look about her, “If the night is young, don’t we in fact have time to waste?”

Maria sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “Tsubas-” but was silenced by a finger to her lips.

“Maria. I was joking.”

~!~

Shirabe pirouetted across the ice in perfect form. The frozen lake beneath her feet a canvas for her peerless skill. When Shirabe moved across the ice, it was less like skating, and more like gliding. 

It was as if the laws of physics did not apply to her when she put on skates. 

It was relaxing, therapeutic even. 

It was peaceful.

“I hate this!”

Kirika fell on her butt for the third time, simmering in anger until Shirabe skated over towards her, “Are you okay Kiri-chan?”

“This is dumb. It’s so cold, and I’m no good at it!” Kirika huffed as Shirabe helped her up.

Shirabe smiled, easily guiding her, “Just because you don’t master it at first is no reason to give it up Kiri-chan.” she said, skating hand in hand Kirika. 

“It makes me feel stupid.” Kirika said. Her bottom lip trembled, terrified of moving her feet in case she tripped, fell, and failed again.

“You’re not stupid Kiri-chan.” Shirabe kissed her on the cheek. Kirika could not help but perk up, getting a grin on her face, that despite it’s mischief held serious intent.

“They are being stupid though.”

“Who is?”

“ _Everyone!_ ” She shouted, throwing her hands up in the air and earning stares. Feeling suddenly insecure, she crossed her arms, continuing to pout. She didn’t even notice that she was skating perfectly fine. “I’m not stupid.”

“Kiri-chan...what is this about?” Shirabe loved Kirika more than anything in the whole world. But sometimes it seemed like her girlfriend’s mouth moved too slow for her brain, so the words would get tied up. Alternatively, she’d get frustrated trying to explain herself and then confuse herself trying to make sense of a point she thought she made ten sentences ago. 

“She’s dead!” Kirika said loudly, now looking at Shirabe pointedly. “They. Are. Idiots.”

So that’s what it was about.

“Kiri-chan, I don’t think they think you are stupid. I think they are scared.” Shirabe took her hand again, subtly increasing the pace they went.

“They shouldn't be scared.” Kirika grumbled. “They should be trying to figure out what actually happened to Senpai!” 

Kirika was still simmering, but her skating pace had sped up to match Shirabe. “They are just wasting time and whoever did it is gonna get away with it because they are being dumb.”

Shirabe turned quickly in front of Kirika, staring at her intently.

“Igalima doesn't fail!” Kirika shouted defensively. “Finé got hit with it! There’s no way for her to come back!” Shirabe kept staring intently. “And what we saw in Yggdrasil’s core proves it! If she was alive she wouldn’t be a spirit like tha-oh!”

Shirabe dipped Kirika, hand just under the small of her back as they glided backwards. Shirabe gave a small kiss to Kirika’s nose, before pulling her back up and letting her go.

“Ahhh! Shirabe!” Kirika stumbled with her speed. She went right off the ice and into the snow face first. 

She laid there in the snow for a moment. Questioning the folly of man. 

There was a small thumb that landed next to Kirika as she picked her freezing nose out of the snow. Shirabe innocently asked. “Why are you in the snow Kiri-chan?”

Kirika glared at Shirabe, blowing snow off her nose in a huff and rolled over onto her back. “Dess!” She said defiantly, crossing her arms and pouting.

Next to her Shirabe simply began to make a snow angel.

“Kiri-chan shouldn’t be so serious. That’s my job.” Shirabe said.

“People never take me seriously.” Kirika said, still pouting. 

Shirabe rolled over to her, resting against her. “I do.”

“I want other people too!” Kirika kicked her legs in frustration. “I’m not stupid. I’m right.”

“Maybe we should tell them what you think.”

“I don’t think it. I know it.”

“Kiri-chan.” Shirabe took Kirika’s hands in hers. “I believe you.” She let her fingers stroke over Kirika’s knuckles, tracing between them in a figure eight. “How can we make them believe you?”

Eureka!

“Proof!” Kirika sat up instantly. “We will prove it’s not Finé! Like detectives!” Kirika stood up now, a grin on her face. “I’ll be Detective Kirika Holmes! And you’ll be Dr. Shirabe Watson!”

Shirabe blinked, “Who?”

“Kiri-chan! Shirabe-chan!” Both heads turned, seeing Miku in a winter jogging outfit heading towards them. “I’m glad I ran into you, here!” Reaching into her fanny pack, she pulled out two tickets.

“Ooooooooh! For Senpai’s concert?” Kirika asked, holding the ticket like it was the most precious thing in the world.

“It’s not quite a concert really, but yes. You can make it yes?” Miku asked, jogging in place.

Shirabe stared at her, “When is it?”

“Four days!” Miku said. “Have you gone dress shopping yet?”

Shirabe turned and stared at Kirika, who blushed under her gaze. “We are gonna do that today actually!” Kirika said with a nervous laugh.

“Good! Don’t be out too late though.” Miku said, an unspoken concern shared between them. “Okay, I have to get going, but text me! I want to see your dresses!”

Shirabe nodded, “Okay!”

“Dess!” Kirika said, giving the departing Miku two thumbs up. 

That was when her brain started ticking though, watching Miku jog away through the snow. “Shirabe, Senpai said she was with Miku-san and Hibiki-san when she saw Finé right?” Kirika asked, the grin falling from her face.

“Yeah, she did.” Shirabe answered, looking at Kirika thoughtfully before putting it together. “Oh.” 

They both stared at Miku as she jogged away, concerned etched on their faces as clear as footprints in the snow.

~!~

Miku sprinted at Hibiki, who easily side stepped her, easily wrestling her into a headlock that she couldn’t break out of. 

“That’s enough!” 

Genjuro observed the two girls with curious intensity. Hibiki instantly let go of the headlock at his words, sheepishly grinning at her opponent who looked far more annoyed then she should have for a simple sparring session. 

“Hibiki-kun! 100 Push ups!”

Hibiki bowed. “Yes Master!” Running out of the dojo, she immediately dropped into the snow, starting her rapid workout. The cold was a nice reprieve for her, doing nothing to slow her pace.

“Miku-kun.” He said as he stood up. “Will you come train with me?” He offered, putting on punching bag gloves.

Miku’s stern expression broke out in startelement at the offer, “Yes Sensei.” She bowed to him, before planting her feet. “I’m ready.”

“Let’s begin! Show me what you can do! _Let your strikes land with the force that could kill the dinosaurs!”_

Genjuro had spent enough time with action movies to be familiar with every form of martial arts that existed. His relentless determination, healthy eating habits, and strict sleeping schedule allowed him to become a bastion of physical prowess. An expert on the health of the body and mind, it was his duty, both as an adult and as the Commander of SONG to instruct those he was responsible for in how to defend themselves.

Kohinata Miku had only joined the SONG agency full time in March, a few weeks following the Shem-Ha incident. Armed with a Faust Robe, and vowing to no longer be left on the sidelines, it was not long before she joined Hibiki in her training with Genjuro. 

True to her word, Miku would not allow herself to be the victim ever again. But unlike Hibiki, Miku would question Genjuro on every aspect of her training. She was determined to make up for lost time. She demanded not the basics, but the hardest version of every single aspect of her training. When he wanted fifty push ups, she gave him a hundred.

The issue came in terms of how the two girls approached their training. Where Hibiki was a natural, Miku was her own worst enemy. He had first started her with fundamental disciplines of self defense, but he drastically underestimated Miku’s insecurities. He needed only to rely on what he himself practiced to teach Hibiki, but Miku wanted to know the ins and outs of everything.

 _Everything_. 

Thus, Genjuro had to do homework of his own.

Not only on how to properly train Miku, but what style would best suit Miku. He bore witness to her gravity defying throw of _Solomon’s Cane_ into the _Treasury of Babylonia_ and knew she was a track star before hand. However, these talents did not necessarily compliment the _Shénshòujìng’s_ combat specialities, which focused on flight and beam attacks. Working with Ogawa and Tsubasa, they had perfected a system for Miku, a hybrid style of various forms of martial arts to compliment her, both in and out of her Faust Robe.

First he had her watch a shitload of terrible anime. 

There was no better place to get an understanding of how to creatively use beam attacks then terrible anime after all, and the various ways that they could be utilized to their full potential. Apparently, she had gotten a good degree of information on potential resources from this subject from another class mate.

Secondly, he had her watch every single Bruce Lee movie ever made.

It was an assignment made in heaven, as the three of them made it a custom to watch at least one of his films a week. 

After that he began training her in a variety of various martial arts. A healthy mixture of Jeet Kune Do, Muay Thai, Kendo, and a variety of styles in Pencak silat. She quickly threw herself into the practice, but it quickly became apparent to Genjuro that Miku had a wall in front of her that she would need to break down.

Genjuro had seen it before, when a young student felt that they were holding the experienced students back. But with Miku, it ran far deeper.

She was fairly decent, no natural like Hibiki, but clearly had a desire to learn. With the unique circumstances of her having to learn how to defend herself, both in and out of her Faust Robe, Genjuro considered her progress to be fairly normal.

Miku did not agree.

She had one thing going for her above all else. Miku’s greatest strength was her speed, and truth be told, she would be a formidable kickboxer one day. But _one day,_ was too far away for Miku. She was far from a perfectionist, but she was competitive, and very insecure about not being seen as Hibiki’s equal.

He wished that was her sole issue.

It was no surprise that the background she had the most experience in was her strongest suit, but she had taken several years off since actively competing in track. This was another aspect that played against Miku. She had certain expectations about what she should be able to do, because of that past experience. The realization that she would have to work back to that was humiliating.

Finally, Miku lacked practical experience, having been in few instances of actual combat herself. Combining that with her insecurities regarding not being at Hibiki’s level; her anxiety at not being at the same level she was at when she was in track, the end result made Miku a dangerous combination of emotional and predictable. 

No more obvious instance of that was now. Through her strikes, jabs, and expression, Miku seemed intent on not hitting the gloves, but Genjuro himself.

Standing his ground, he caught one of her powerful kicks through the glove and did not let go. The forcible stop of motion seemed to break Miku out of her focus, blinking in confusion.

“Sensei?”

He gently lowered her leg, smiling warmly at her. “Is something troubling you Miku-kun?” He sat down cross legged, inviting her to sit next to him.

“It’s nothing…” Catching Genjuro’s warm but stern glance she laughed through a sigh as she sat next to him.

”It’s Hibiki.” Miku said, looking over at her girlfriend who was busy finishing up her push ups.

“Hibiki-kun! I want a kilometer out of you! Go!”

“Yes Master!” Hibiki said, jogging in place, before bolting off of Genjuro’s residence to do the small exercise.

“What’s this about? I thought you liked training with Hibiki-kun.” Genjuro’s voice was soft and understanding. Hibiki and Miku might be legally adults now, but it was still his duty as their senior to make sure they do not face the same struggles as he did.

“I do!” Miku insisted. “But…” She trailed off again, biting her lip with frustration. “I don’t feel like Hibiki takes me seriously when we spar.” To her shock, Genjuro laughed.

“I should hope that is the case!” He said with a barrel chest full of laughter, petting Miku on the top of the head. “Hibiki-kun’s fists erupt volcanoes and make mortals out of gods. For her to take you seriously, would put you in a position of being unable to learn.” He tried to smile down at her, but could see she looked both frustrated and downcast. “Unless, there is another aspect to this that this old man is missing?”

“I want to protect her.” Miku’s voice was small and fragile, and Genjuro could hear years worth of misplaced guilt in her words. “Hibiki has had to protect herself for so long. She’s had to protect me. She’s had to protect herself and me, _from me._ ” Miku’s words were bitter now, hands trembling against her knees.

“Miku-kun. There is not a soul among us who blames you for the actions you took while under the control of Shem-Ha and Dr. Ver.” Though her hair covered her eyes, Genjuro noticed the edge of Miku’s mouth turn up in a self satisfied smirk.

“Callous. You assume I have no soul?”

Ice shot through his chest. The voice that had come out of Miku’s mouth did not belong to her-

“Because I do feel guilty!” She said emotionally. 

“Miku-kun…” He saw how her hand clenched against the fabric of her yoga pants and dismissed his concern. “Your guilt is misplaced, but understandable.” She looked up at him, her eyes softer now.

“You have been an adult for a very short amount of time Miku-kun. Would you like to know the secret that makes being an adult better than being a child?” 

“Money?” Miku answered honestly.

“HA! If only. No Miku-Kun, it is experience.” He said ruffling her hair. “When you are a child, there are times where you must go through things that no child should go through. No one takes your pain seriously. Sometimes, they even mock it and belittle it.” He looked at her directly, remembering all she had been through.

“When you are an adult, you have the ability to think back to those times of pain. You can use those experiences to arm yourself against the strife you must face in your future.” He raised his fist up in the air, banging it against his chest. “ _Use your hardships as your armor, and laugh as your enemies blades dull trying to pierce it!”_

Miku looked thought, before a fiery spark took over her eyes, identical to her girlfriends. “Yes Sensei!” She bowed respectfully, shaking with energy to burn.

“As for Hibiki-kun.” He said, taking off his gloves and punching his hand. “Let her know your feelings Not with your words! But your actions! Make her take your sparring seriously!” His voice echoed in the small dojo.

“Yes Sensei!”

As if on cue, Hibiki returned from her kilometer run, looking as determined as ever. Miku looked at Genjuro, exchanging a curt nod with him.

Miku crouched in a four point stance. It was like being on the track team all over again. There was a moment, just before a race would begin, that seemed to defy the laws of time. It was the seconds between the whistle blowing to tell the runners to get set, and the gun shot which signaled the start of the race. Every muscle is tensed, like a tightly wound spring. the tension is unbearable. You feel like you are going to throw up, god would that fucking gun just go off and then _BANG!_

Miku was off, like a cheetah, a blur of motion. Hibiki’s grin was instantaneous, meeting her girlfriend’s opening blow, the sparring beginning once more.

He could see the source of Miku’s frustration, Hibiki’s smirk was almost cocky. Not that he could blame her. If he could one punch god, he’d be feeling confident too.

But hubris could be a costly mistake. 

Genjuro wasn’t sure if Hibiki refused to take sparring with Miku seriously, but one thing was clear, Miku _did._ She was not just a student of her own style, but Hibiki’s as well. 

The sparring started off as it usually did, with Hibiki dictating the pace of the fight, but Miku was having none of it. A misread from Hibiki led to Miku lighting her up with kicks, forcing Hibiki on the defensive. Miku’s limbs were a flurry of blows, not allowing Hibiki a single second to respond. Had Miku had more practical experience she might have realized that Hibiki was deliberately tanking her hits. A momentary pause was all the opening Hibiki needed, nearly grappling her into a headlock, but this time, Miku managed to worm her way out of it at the last second.

They started again, and Genjuro was humbled by his greatest students grace and intensity. Miku’s desire to be taken seriously was painfully obvious, even to the occasionally oblivious Hibiki. What had started as a fight of pride for Miku, had turned into an elaborate combative dance. When before Miku would overwhelmed with even the most simple arm bar, Hibiki seemed to determine to allow her to relieve that inherent frustration that she felt.

On the one hand, he was impressed at Hibiki’s maturity in knowing what Miku needed, but the reality of how she came to know it depressed him. After all, neither girl would have been capable of wielding a Symphogear without _her._

“Ryoko-kun, what are you doing?” He pondered aloud. 

The return of Finé haunted his every waking thought. Could they have been that wrong? Both of the girls had been dangerously close to being another one of Finé’s victims, much like how he nearly was. Not until he brawled with his father had he been that close to death, and yet somehow because it was Ryoko, it hurt more than his own father.

No...that was not the only reason.

It was because it was not Ryoko, yet he had fallen in love with her anyway.

He was not certain when his feelings for Sakurai Ryoko began to manifest, but it felt as natural as the sunrise. They got along, were prone to workplace banter that resembled flirting, (or in Ryoko’s case, borderline sexual harassment,) they liked similar movies, and even expressed mutual attraction towards each other. He had attempted to follow through, but Ryoko had come up with an excuse out of the blue to cancel at the last minute. Shortly afterwards the massacre of _Zwei Wing_ happened, and suddenly life has become far too impossible for something like a relationship to be considered a possibility. Kanade had died, Tsubasa was catatonic, the _Nehushtan_ Armor was stolen, and they were all just a bit too broken and raw.

He was not the kind of man to take advantage of someone’s emotional state at that time period. And besides, his niece needed him more. Ryoko was an adult, she understood the duty of adults like he did, and the critical importance inherent in lessening the burden of the young.

At least, he wished she understood that.

In reality, the woman he knew as Sakurai Ryoko was in fact Finé, who called off their date not because of last minute thoughts, but because she abducted Yukine Chris. Daughter of peace activists, forced into child prostitution for eight years at just the tender age of six she was meant to be taken in by the then Section 2. 

By him.

His nails dug into a familiar scab on the inside of his palm. Genjuro tried very hard not to be an angry man, but whatever love he held for Sakurai Ryoko had incinerated in red hot burning rage as he slowly learned what she had put that young girl through. He had searched all over Japan for Chris, and she was right under his nose. The personal chew toy of the woman he wanted to entrust with his heart. It was like a sick joke. 

_“So you were going to be my pimp too.”_

One of the first words Chris had ever spoken to him. It was not said as a question, but as a statement, and more than that, what she expected her future to be if she stayed near him.

After what she had been through, who could blame her?

Genjuro was broken out of his remembrance by Hibiki being knocked off her feet with a leg sweep by Miku. She was quick to get back to her feet, meeting Miku blow for blow.

Two vessels of Divine Power. 

Both were with Chris when she saw Finé just a few days ago. The possibility that they were being targeted was not something he could ignore. If Finé was truly back, and going after the Symphogear Adaptors, it was his job to do what he could to protect them.

Finé. Dr. Ver, Carol Malus Dienheim, the Bavarian Illuminati, and Shem-Ha. Too many fights for girls who should be concerned with grades and anime, not the fate of the world.

He would not allow Finé’s molestation's to occur again. 

If that meant he had to take measures he swore to never take, then so be it. It was the responsibility of adults to ease the burdens of the younger generation, and because of his failure to do that, the younger generation in his charge had become adults, with no time to be kids.

 _“She is a child. She is a child. And children should not have to fight to be young._ ”

It was the only time he had cried in front of his father. 

It was the day after Kanade’s funeral. Tsubasa had yet to say a single word. His father was of the impression that Tsubasa should return to active duty as soon as she was medically cleared. Genjuro was prepared to do anything to make sure that Tsubasa would not be put into that situation again. He was determined to wait as long as he had too, his father be damned. How could the poor girl defend her country if she couldn’t even speak let alone sing?

Tsubasa’s three months of silence were a terrifying and humbling time for Section 2.

_“Wait, there’s no way it was Finé. Igalima cut her soul in two!”_

Kirika’s words haunted him. He had Elfnein run a full diagnostics on _Igalima_ , and by all accounts, Kirika was completely correct. There was just no way that Finé should have been able to reincarnate based on their understanding of her reincarnation. The intelligence they had obtained from both the FIS and the Bavarian Illuminati offered nothing to contradict this. And nobody knew _Igalima_ better then Kirika did, he trusted her insight. 

By all accounts, Finé’s reincarnation should be utterly impossible. 

Miku was moving like a whirlwind, constantly dipping around Hibiki’s strikes. It impressed Genjuro, it was like she was trying to learn how to move within combat, rather than simply rushing in had she done before. Even Hibiki seemed to be caught off guard by how quickly Miku was able to evade her strikes, before an errant back elbow caught Miku right in the nose.

Instantly she hit her knees, clutching at face, hand coming away with blood.

“Miku!” Hibiki said shocked, “Did I hurt you?” She quickly knelt before Miku to check her bleeding nose.

Genjuro quickly came over with a washcloth, but to his shock, Miku just broke into a giggling fit. 

“You did!” Miku laughed. Without warning she threw herself Hibiki, hugging her tightly. “I think you broke my nose!” She said completely overjoyed, continuing to laugh. Her voice was nasally, but still undeniably chipper. 

“Miku…” Hibiki said with uncertainty, pulling away from the hug. “Are you okay?” She asked, taking the wash cloth from Genjuro and giving it to Miku.

“Yes! This is what I wanted!” Miku said, the washcloth over her face nose hiding her grin. “But now I owe you one Hibiki, you broke my nose and got me all sweaty!” Miku said, reaching up and booping the still concerned Hibiki on the nose.

“Miku...” Hibiki’s voice was worried at first, but turned into a grin of pride. “You did really good! You _almost_ had me,” she teased, before bowing to Miku respectfully. 

Miku held the cloth to her nose and bowed to Hibiki. “Thank you Master.”

Genjuro could only smile at Hibiki’s startled expression. “Tilt your head up,” He told Miku. "We’ll have Elfnein-kun make sure it’s nothing serious.” He was happy to see a genuine smile on the girls face.

Genjuro was shocked at how graceful she was in defeat, or how Hibiki so gracefully slid into the role of teacher. “That’s enough for today. I want you both to take the weekend off.”

Miku’s eyes widened at that, “Sensei?”

“It is just as important to rest as it is to train. To overwork the body and neglect the mind is just as bad as not training at all. _Rest!_ ”

Hibiki bowed, “Yes Master!”

Miku bowed as well, careful of her nose. “Yes Sensei!”

He watched as they slowly cleaned up and warmed down from today's training. He was proud of them. Miku surprised him with how she acknowledged Hibiki as her master. Perhaps he had been too presumptuous as to her insecurities. 

Yet the ball of anxiety had yet to leave his stomach, for good reason.

Miku’s greatest weakness was her lack of practical experience. If Ryoko...no, if _Finé_ was back, how long would she be allowed to have that weakness?

“Ryoko-kun.” He prayed, out of ear shot of his students. “If you have any compassion in your heart, please. I beg of you, stay dead.”

~!~

“Chris-chan you look fiiiiine, quit worrying!” Itai Kioku said as she brushed the girls long lavender hair.

“Knock it off with that ‘chan’ crap.” Chris said, glaring at her through the reflection in the backstage mirror. “I got enough of that from the dummy, I don’t need it from a mediocre flute player like you.” 

“Mediocre flute player? No Chris-chan, I’m a mediocre hairdresser, don’t you know?” Kioku teased, before taking a second look at what she just brushed. “Oops.” 

“Oops? Oops? What oops? No oops! You’re not allowed to oops!” Chris said, feeling flushed under the collar. “You better be joking!”

“Yup! Just a joke!” Kioku said. The ‘mediocre flute player’ had light blonde hair that she wore in pigtails. “God, joke’s just so funny, I think I’m gonna tell everyone about it while I get a straightener ahehehe, be right back!” She made a peace sign through the mirror before bolting right out the door, slamming it behind her.

“Oi! What did you to do my hair?” Chris quickly turned around in her seat, and breath caught in her throat when she saw Miku at the door. 

“Your hair looks beautiful Chris.” Miku said, smiling at her in a way that made Chris felt like time had stopped. Miku wore a beautiful purple dress that stopped just above her ankles, with little shimmers in every stitch of the dress. It made Miku look like she was wearing a dress made out of the cosmos, the rhinestones seeming to catch every single lightsource possible.

“You too.” Chris said without thinking. “Wait, how’d you get back here anyway?” Chris questioned pointedly. “Only students and staff are allowed back here.” Chris’s cheeks were burning red now, if she was anymore red she’d be able to pass as Genjuro’s daughter.

“Oops.” Miku said with a hint of a grin that made Chris’s heart race. “Are you excited?” She asked politely, beginning to slowly stroll around the room.

Chris internally cursed Kioku, “A little bit. Little nervous.” Chris said honestly, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. “Are you?” She asked, instantly regretting it.

“I’m very excited Chris.” Miku giggled, approaching Chris, whose stomach was doing somersaults into the sky. When Miku took her hand, her stomach was officially in orbit. “Is this okay?” Miku asked looking into her eyes.

“Yes.” It was the most okay thing in the world.

Miku smiled, stroking the top of Chris’s hand. “You have nothing to be worried about Chris. I’ll be right there in the front row. If you start to feel bad, just look at me, okay?”

Like she was gonna look anywhere else?

“Yeah.”

Chris felt like her skin was covered in oil, and Miku had a lit match in her hand, just teasing to light the spark.

“It’s going to go great Chris.” Chris could not stop looking into her eyes. What was wrong with her? 

Wait hold on a second, what was wrong with _her?_

“Oi! What happened to your nose?”

Miku blinked, blushing a bit. “Oh it’s nothing, just a simple accident is all.” She waved her hand as if it was no big deal.

“Did...” Chris pieced it together. “Did the Dummy break your nose?”

It was Miku’s turn to blush beat red. “What? Nooooo. Hibiki’s careful Chris, you know that.” Miku tried to assure her.

Chris simply raised an eyebrow, before pinching Miku’s nose, making her yelp.

“Chris!”

“We talked about lying! Stop lying!” Chris said, letting go of her nose and crossing her arms.

“I’ve been bad. I’m sorry Chris,” Miku said solemnly, but with a smile on her face. “I promise I won’t lie to you anymore.”

“Uhuh.” Chris said dryly, staring her down.

“Forgive me?” Miku said, making a heart with her hands.

“If you’re gonna lie, lie about shit that doesn't matter. Like if my boobs look good in a dress or not, okay?” Chris said, hoping against hope to get through the brick wall of stubbornness that was in Miku.

“Chris, how could I lie about that? Your boobs always look good!”

Chris, somehow, lost all the color in her face, and blushed. “OI! Don’t say things like that!”

“But you told me not to lie Chris!” Miku giggled, blocking Chris’s attempt to honk her nose again. 

“Both of you are just impossible!” Chris gave up trying to honk her nose and sat down on the chair, flustered. 

After quelling her giggle fit, Miku seemed to have the wisdom to change the wind of conversation. “Have you decided what pieces you are going to play?” 

That infuriating quizzical smile of hers, the way her eyes seemed to be tunnels of emeralds that Chris felt a primal desire to get lost in.

“I-I o-only get o-ne.” Chris stammered out, taking a deep breathe. “They had to cut for time, and this is really only supposed to be for upperclassmen.” Chris explained. 

When she had heard of the college doing a charity concert for _Yggdrasil_ victims, she was quick to sign up for it. When she learned that there were spots for individual artists to do exhibitions of their own pieces, Chris became possessed by a mad desire to be involved. 

Against all odds, she managed to get a spot, despite being an underclassman.

In contrast to her lavender graduation dress, Chris’s concert outfit was unisex. A red buttoned together tailcoat, with a striking vest piece underneath that helped draw attention away from her chest. Far from a traditional outfit, but the charity was advertised as a multicultural progressive event, so Chris went outside the box. It made her wish Maria had been in town to help her out with the shopping, but she was doing her own charity work with Tsubasa, touring the globe as Idols to help unite people with their songs.

“Well, they will still get to hear you play. The perfect ‘Chrismas gift.” Miku said with a wink that made Chris want to drop dead. “I heard one of the coordinators talking out there. It sounds like you guys were able to raise a lot of money, and people are still giving donations.” 

“Here’s hoping I don’t scare anyone off.” Chris said. Her face burned, feeling stage fright threatening to emerge. “I really want to do good out there.” Chris whispered shamefully. 

It felt like a weakness.

“You will.” Miku said quietly, “Your parents are so proud of you right now Chris. We all are.” Miku reassured her, squeezing her hand comfortingly. 

Chris thought of her shrine back home, and that was all it took.

“Hey now,” Miku fetched a tissue from the vanity mirror and started to dab it at Chris’s eyes. “No crying. Kioku-san did such a good job on your makeup, don’t make it run now.” Miku said with a smile, gently keeping Chris’s eyes dry.

Chris hated how she had become so much of a crybaby lately. She credited Miku with it. Her body was not prepared for all this talking about your feelings shit.

“Don’t tell her that, it’ll go to her head.” Chris said with a low laugh as Miku finished up. “I’ll be okay.” Chris felt an unspecified need to reassure Miku of this fact.

“I’m so glad.” Miku said genuinely. “Now, what piece will you be playing?” 

There was a second question on her lips. She was wondering if Chris would play the angry and violent _Hell at Val Verde._

“You haven’t heard it yet. It’s kind of a secret.” Chris stood up, Miku helping her so that she did not step on the dress.

Miku tilted her head at Chris with a sly grin, “I’m good at keeping secrets Chris.”

_I’m going to fucking die._

“W-w-well.” Chris stammered, face matching the color of her coat. “ _Chrysalis_.” Chris said, face burning with shame at the name. “It’s secret cause the name is stupid.” She looked away from Miku for the first time, suddenly finding herself cooler under the collar.

“Transition. To change from one state to another.” Miku said with a mystical authority.

“Yeah,” Chris blinked, looking up at Miku. “You nailed it.” She was shocked, but in a pleasant way. 

Miku looked just as surprised as Chris did. “I guess I pick up on a few things in your songs.” She said cheerfully, letting go of Chris’s hand. “I’d like to hear the rest that you have prepared some time. If that’s okay Chris.”

“I mean, sure if you want.” Chris said awkwardly, trying not to pass out.

Miku beamed, “It’s a date then.” 

_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

Miku clasped her hands together in a delightful manner. “I better get back to Hibiki so that you can finish getting ready.” She gave Chris a pat on the shoulder. “Break a leg out there okay?” 

_Now or never you big loser._

“Oi! Wait!” Chris called just before Miku got to the door.

“Is something wrong Chris?” Miku said, looking at her with concern.

Chris could feel the pressure behind her cheeks, but she fought her own nausea and bowed to Miku. “Thank you.” 

Why on earth did she bow. This was not helping her nausea at all she was going to vomit all over her nice shoes.

“For what Chris?”

Chris straightened herself, looking Miku dead on. Miku and Hibiki were the only ones who were going to be able to attend the concert. Chris wanted the others to come so bad, but she didn’t have it in her to ask them, but this went far beyond that.

“You were my first friend.” Miku’s eyes went wide as saucers at her words, “And at the time, I didn’t know if I had it in me to keep going.” She stopped for a moment, closing her eyes and taking a breathe. “You convinced me someone would miss me if I was gone. And…” This was shockingly easier than she thought it would be. “That was enough to keep me going.” She smiled as best she could at Miku, who looked distraught.

“Chris…” Miku started, at a loss for words.

“Hey now, if you start crying I’m gonna too.” Chris said, wishing she could wrap Miku in her arms.

“Oops,” Miku said, half laughing, half crying as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. “Chris-”

Chris closed the distance, throwing her arms around her in a hug full of fear. “It was horrible.” Chris said, trembling at the physical contact. “I felt like I was suffocating.” Her words were whispers at this point. “I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t live.” 

The bitter memory was a hard one to swallow. The day she got freedom from _her_ was the lowest point in her entire life. “But knowing someone would miss me. I had to keep going. I had to keep going because I couldn’t bear to hurt that person. And then, and I don’t even know when it happened, but I wanted to keep going because _I_ would miss me.” Miku returned the hug, and Chris felt like her heart was made of sunlight. “I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t met you, but...” 

No stopping the tears now. “I did meet you, all because you and the dummy had a fight.” She grinned through her tears. “Lucky me right?”

Miku sobbed into her ear, “Chris. We’re the lucky ones.” Her embrace was like a vice grip, Chris welcomed it. “So lucky that you kept going. So lucky to be able to know you. So lucky to have you open your heart to us.” Miku’s voice was shaking, and despite how much she enjoyed it Chris pulled from the embrace to look into her wonderful eyes. 

“Our makeups not so lucky.” Chris said. They both laughed, a nervous, yet relieved giggle fit, like a balloon slowly relieving the tension out of the room.

“Kioku-san still has time to fix yours. I’ll get Maria-san to fix mi-” Miku clasped her hands over her mouth. 

Chris’s eyes widened at the slip up. “Did you invite every-”

“Oops!” Miku laughed standing up, “I better go find my seat!” She said quickly, a smug smirk on her lips as she ran for the door to escape Chris’s outrage.

_Now or never dipshit!_

“Miku!” Chris shouted, staring at the girl who’s hand froze on the doorknob once again. Her heartbeat was louder than her violin would ever be. When Miku turned to face her, she had a look of pure joy. Chris tried to be casual, scratching the back of her head like a dummy. “Enjoy the show.”

Miku had tears in her eyes again. “How could I not?”

And with that, she left Chris alone with her thoughts.

_Lucky me. Lucky Hibiki more like it._

It hurt her heart at times, when she was particularly lonely, but no matter what, she knew that those two would never leave her life. And she was not about to try to butt into what took them so long to realize. 

They were happy.

Chris was too.

There was a knock at the door, Kioku popping her head in. “I don’t want to rush you, but your make up does take time.” She smiled in a ‘did it go well?’ fashion.

Chris gave a thumbs up, sitting back in her chair for Kioku to do her magic. 

“Good! Let’s get your make up fixed. Though I do have to ask you a favor.” Kioku said.

“What’s that?” 

“Could you do that stuff at home?” Kioku grinned at her through the mirror.

Chris did not blink.

“I will fucking kill you.”

_~!~_

_They were trying to kill her._

_Yet they wouldn't let her die._

_“DON’T TOUCH ME!”_

_“Hold her down. We have to get the IV in."_

_“Doctor, she-”_

_“DON’T TOUCH ME! STAY AWAY FROM ME!”_

_There’s a needle in her hands._

_The mosquitos are devouring her body._

_A medical tent?_

_Or just another prison?_

_Two men tackle her to the ground before she can hurt anyone._

_It’s such a familiar experience she forgets to fight back._

_It's the next day before the sedatives wear off._

_“Sweetie, do you know what country you’re in?”_

_“Sonia...”_

_“Who’s Sonia sweetie? Does she live near here?”_

_“Sonia...I’m sorry.”_

_“Shit! Someone get over here, she’s going into shock!”_

_…_

_…_

_…_

_Everyday is exactly the same._

_More hands on her._

_More screaming._

_The Americans held her against the wall while they sprayed her down._

_They called it a shower._

_Yet all it made her feel was dirty._

_…_

_…_

_…_

_It was two months since they dug her out of the rubble._

_Now she was on a plane._

_They said they were going to have a home for her._

_It was surreal._

_She hated them._

_Her “liberators.”_

_But..._

_Maybe..._

_Just maybe..._

_She could dream again._

_~!~_

Chris couldn’t contain her smile.

The exhibition had been an incredible success. Not only did she get to play the full version of her piece, but she got to see everyone there to support her. She was fairly certain that SONG filled half the auditorium, not least of which the reason was Genjuro pre-planning in case somebody tried to Tsubasa her. 

“ _Chris-chan! That was so good!”_

She could have smacked that dummy. She did threaten to bop her one if she ever broke Miku’s nose again. The threat alone was worth to see Hibiki trying to hastily explain the situation.

_“Senpai-sama is the best!”_

_“Kiri-chan you don’t have to say both.”_

Kirika and Shirabe showing up was a huge surprise. She was not sure if the two of them would even be entertained by the music here, especially since these types of events often drew in people Shirabe hated the most. And yet, they were here and were the quickest to jump and give her a standing ovation. It helped that she liked the way that Senpai-Sama sounded. Maybe she could get the dummy to use it.

_“I’ve heard worse.”_

Maria and Tsubasa were the biggest shocks. Despite her slip up, it really was the biggest shock in the world to see them both here, and out publicly as well. When they told her the media blitz was worth it to get attention for the charity she wanted to cry. 

Maria was probably the only one who actually got Chris’s sense of humor. She thought about introducing her to Kioku, but then again if she did they’d never let her live anything down.

_“Your songs are wonderful Yukine. They carry all of who you are. You should share it with the world.”_

Her Senpai’s words stayed with her. Was that what she wanted to do? Be like Tsubasa? Be like her parents? Travel the world and try to right the wrongs of man? She wasn’t sure, but just thinking about it made her want to do more. She wasn’t sure _what_ , just _more_.

_“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about everything else you were going to play tonight. I expect my own private concert.”_

Chris did not want to admit just how much she liked it when Miku got demanding. But a promise was made, and it would be kept, she just had to sit down and write the damn thing. Truth be told, Chris had already planned to write more personal songs, not based on her pain, if only for Miku alone.

But that was a job for another night.

_“You need sleep. Go home. You’ve earned the rest.”_

The Old Man could be annoying at times, but he couldn't have been more right. Her sleep had been horribly inconsistent lately, but more than anything, she was just _spent_ . Between spending so much time with other people outside of her core group to her talk with Miku, actually performing _Chrysalis,_ and the subsequent surprise of her fellow Adaptors, she had nothing left. She had a sneaking suspicion that the Old Man could tell she was running on fumes.

But there was a feeling she could not ignore.

Her fingers were twitching. If she wasn’t already walking her foot would be tapping. She had an urge, an unshakable fucking _need_ to produce something. It wasn’t often a surge of inspiration this strong possessed her in such a way, and she needed to channel it. Sleep be damned.

She’d never admit to Miku or her teachers that she never really prepared things ahead of time for her own sheet music. She would often just do it in spur of the moment bursts, a stark contrast to how she approached her other schoolwork.

Music was different. 

At least for her it was. 

Chris had a secret place just for what she needed.

Only the Old Man knew about it, an old apartment block she had squatted in during the bad times. It was the perfect place to practice. Sometimes there would be homeless people or vagrants there, so Chris would bring extra money or food and let them listen in on her performance. She selfishly hoped they wouldn't be there tonight though, it would just get in the way of her desire for raw creation.

_I expect my own private concert._

“Just you wait.”

Chris was grinning as she crossed the street to the tall monolith like structure, looking long abandoned and derelict. She had a certain fondness for abandoned places, and bittersweet appreciation for what was for however brief a time, her home. She’d remember how Genjuro had found her, starving and desperate. That kindness was something she wanted to repay, but not to him. She wanted to do what he did for her. 

That was her dream.

Chris wasn’t stupid. She knew there were other people out there like her, who had been taken, used, left behind, abandoned, and mistreated. She knew they often didn’t get the same good ending she did either. There were too many Finé in the world and not enough Genjuro.

_I hope I make you proud, Sempai._

Chris thought about how she had almost been one of those people who got a bad ending, and again her fingers itched. That urge to create was strong.

Between the snow and the darkness, it had taken her a little over two hours to walk there since the end of the concert. She carefully navigated the icier parts of the bridge, the bright moon doing more than the street lights were in this part of town. She could have gotten a ride from anybody, but that would have gotten in the way in her creative plans. Especially given that it was now well after midnight.

Chris already had an idea on the rhythm and structure of the song, how she wanted it to sound, what she wanted to piece together. It was like using Ichaival. Knowing where to draw the bow across the strings and up the neck, it wasn’t even second nature, it was like breathing. 

_And no one ever got killed because I played the violin._

She shook that thought from her head. That line of thinking was a dangerous gateway drug that led to bad habits. Bad habits that Miku and her had been working very hard to curb. She was proud of herself, not that she’d ever vocalize it, about how far she managed to get. 

It only a few years ago that she had come to this complex out of desperate need for survival. 

Now she came here out of a desperate need to create. 

Genjuro would be proud of the way that she jogged up the steps. You’d almost think that she was in shape. But even in her exhaustion of the day, the allure of the solitude of the place and the potential to unleash her music was almost aphrodisiac in nature. She had to imagine this is how victims of addiction felt. An undeniable urge that could not be saited by any other means. 

The roof of the complex was technically closed off, and Chris was technically trespassing, yet she found herself technically never giving a shit about either of those things. She used this place when she was homeless, not to mention the fact that she saved the world half a dozen times. 

She was allowed to ignore a few signs here and there. 

Yet despite everything she had experienced, being on top of the snow kissed roof at just after midnight, with nothing but the wind and the noise of the city, she felt humbled. 

She also felt how fucking cold it was.

Despite the alluring potential, playing on top of the roof with the cruel December winds was not Chris’s idea for a good way to end the night. The building itself was easy enough to get into, though she wished she had thought this far ahead before she climbed all the steps up to it. The more she thought about it though, the better it was to play inside. The acoustics would not be lost on the wind, and if she found the right room the noise could bounce off the wall like she was in an echo chamber. She had experienced a few times before, and it was an incredibly intense and visceral feeling, like she was having her own music blasted back at her.

The doorknob to the inside of the building was cold as death to the touch, even through her birthday gloves. It took effort, but she wrenched it open, pulling it through the snow, the whispers of snowfall littering into the empty building. She closed the door behind her to keep the horrible winter winds out and sighed. The door was more of a workout than the stairs.

Chris descended down the steep steps into the building, the hard wood beneath her feet echoing in the vacant hallway. She was careful, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness, keeping her hand on the rail to guide her way, till eventually the interior door faded into her vision.

Lucky for her, it wasn’t locked.

Entering the empty hallway, almost felt like walking into somebody's room while they were sleeping. No matter how careful Chris was, every step, every shake of her violin case, every breathe, was louder than even her biggest gun.

It was darker than she remembered.

Every apartment door was a trapdoor spider, waiting for some unlucky violinist to stumble by, before it would spring. It’d sink it’s teeth into her, paralyzing her, leaving her helpless as it dragged her back into its lair, so all of it’s little babies could slowly crawl over her and eat her. 

Slowly.

_Get a fucking grip._

“Heh.” She laughed, bitterly. She knew better. The shadows that danced at the edges of her vision didn’t have giant spiders, but violent men and insidious liars. They’d throw her into a room, try to rip her clothes off and force themselves inside of her. She would compare them to dogs, but she had met many a dog in her time, and dared not bismurch the animals good name. 

“HA!” She laughed, louder this time confident. The weight of Ichaival was heavy around her neck, and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. “HA HA HA!” She laughed, mocking the darkness and it’s danger. She let her boots land with confidence, echoing like a titan in the cramped hallway. She kicked a door in, an empty apartment entryway greeting her. 

Not a trapdoor spider or rapist in sight.

“HAHAHA!” She laughed into vacant living space, heart pumping a mile a minute. She was still full of adrenaline, but now it was excitement, not fear. 

She kicked another door in, laughing harder in the face of nothing, “HA! HA! HA! HA!” Her voice echoed through the empty living space, breathing hard, ready for something, someone, to leap out at her.

 _Come on idiot. You’ve been here before. Quit fucking around_.

Chriis gulped, and laughed a little at herself. She really was tired if she was this jumpy. But there were upsides to it, because no matter what she was going to sleep good tonight. You just did not get this exhausted and not sleep like a rock

She walked down the hallway, unafraid. Her head was high, her chest was out, and her boots hit the floor with a _don’t fuck with me_ energy that could part the seas better than Moses ever could. 

Opening the door to the apartment buildings inner stairwell, she stomped her boot hard into the ground. Grinning at the echo that descended down the ground floor, she got her violin out of its case.

“A symphony for seven floors.” Chris said loudly, strolling down the steps, minding the beer cans and occasional garbage. “So y’all better listen up!”

Stopping on the fourth floor landing, she drew her bow, steeling herself. “ _Ticket to Babylon.”_ She muttered.

Painful screams rose from her strings, weaving her life into music.

_They say they are taking her to a government building._

The melody reverberates throughout the seven floors, assaulting her from every direction.

_She hasn’t worn clothes this long in years._

Unresolved agony on every twist of her bow, her feet moving beneath her, in tune with her music. 

_When the car was forced off the road, she knew that this was it for her._

A gasp at the memory on her lips, twisting and turning with the ear shattering shrieks from her instrument.

_She can smell gas. She can hear gunfire. The driver who told her everything was gonna be okay is bleeding out of the hole in his head where his face used to be._

The music is deafening, she had no chance of hearing the door open.

 _“Take my hand!”_ _There’s fire. There’s smoke. There is pain, but there is a hand. Reaching out for her._

She is moving to the painful beat of her own chords, a whirlwind of red and lavender, tears illuminated in the darkness.

_“I won’t let them take you! Please understand! Take my hand!” It's funny really._

A silver staff like cane drags along the handrails, a horrible screech to compliment the symphony of pain.

_The voice almost sounded like…_

“What?” Chris gripped her violin like a bat, scanning for the noise. Eyes widening at the nude woman who stood on the landing above her.

_It belonged to..._

“Chris…” She always said Chris’s name like that. Slow, measured, like it was the most important thing to say in the world.

_A woman._

“It breaks my heart to see how much pain you have known.” 

_Chris reached her hand out, swallowing smoke as she screamed to the woman._

“But it’s okay now Chris.” She began to walk down the steps towards her. “Because even after all this time...”

_“Please! Save me please!”_

“I am still the only one that understands you.”

_Lavender eyes met gold. A hand took hers, and she found herself pulled from the flames of hell._

“I am still the only one that loves you.” Finé promised her.

“Damn it…” Chris cursed.

“Chris…” Her voice was a whisper now. “I forgive you.”

Under a brightly lit moon, in an abandoned apartment complex, a wail was lost on the December winds.

_“Damn it!”_


	3. ERROR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you. 
> 
> Yes you. 
> 
> I'm very happy that you have been reading my fic, and have gotten this far in it. However, it's important for me to let you know right now. This shit is gonna get dark. I would love nothing more than for everyone on AO3 to read this fic, review it, kudos it, all that shit. But this fic is gonna deal with some very disturbing content.
> 
> This includes, but is not limited to: Discussions of Sexual Assault, as well as physical and emotional torture. And while nothing overtly explicit will be portrayed, (IE Rape scenes) what will be explored are the implications, ramifications, and trauma that things like what Chris has gone through. causes. These are the things that the show never truly went into, and what I want to explore, however, it is not for everyone.
> 
> This is not me trying to be edgy for the sake of edge sake, this is me just wanting to make sure that no one has an upsetting experience because not enough proper warning was given in regards to this. 
> 
> So please, do at least be aware, that in regards to the future of this fic, when I give warnings like this I'm not fucking around. It's dark, upsetting, and was genuinely difficult to write. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading my fic, and for those who stop her,e I completely understand. 
> 
> Most of all, love yourself, and I hope you enjoy the chapter <3

**1:35 AM**

Elfnein yawned into her sixth cup of coffee for the night. Try as she might, she knew when to call it quits and get her butt to bed. The glint of the half finished _Shénshòujìng_ stared back at her with infuriating imperfection.

The relic _Shénshòujìng_ had been turned into a Symphogear utilized by the FIS at the height of their power to turn Miku against the individuals at Section 2. Hibiki had been able to save Miku and destroyed the Gear in the process; however, other pieces of the relic had been recovered by the Bavarian Illuminati. They had experimented with it, fitting into a Faust Robe due to their own inability to duplicate the _Sakurai Theory_ ; an ignorance that plagued SONG as well.

Unless Elfnein had anything to say about it.

While the Symphogear version of the _Shénshòujìng_ had been destroyed, the Faust Robe incarnation of it was not. Thanks to SONG’s efforts, they had been able to recover all the information the FIS and the Bavarian Illuminati had on the _Shénshòujìng_ . Elfnein was good at putting Gears back together, having done so to implement them with the _Dáinsleif,_ to counteract the _Lapis Philosophorum_ and in the aftermath of Shem-ha. Elfnein used the same principles in rebuilding Symphogears to reverse engineer a way to rebuild the _Shénshòujìng_ . She had all the blueprints for both versions, but now the problem lay in actually _doing_ it. 

It was one thing to rebuild something from a corrupted or partially destroyed aspect, but this was not the case. Here she was taking the limited capabilities of the Faust Robe, and retroactively expanding their capabilities to the limitless Symphogear. The biggest hurdle she had in front of her was removing the _Shénshòujìng_ problematic “direct feedback” system, that was a cornerstone of the Gear’s original design. She needed to replace it with a totally new neural feedback system necessitated by all Gears, especially those dependent on LiNKER like Miku was.

She knew she could do it. After all, only Sakurai Ryoko knew the Gears better than Elfnein did at this point, and she was dead. Or at least, she was supposed to be.

Truth be told, Elfnein’s focus was not fully on restoring the relic. Like everyone else, her mind was preoccupied with the potential reincarnation of Finé, and her stalking of Chris, Hibiki and Miku.

Elfnein had never met Finé, and her former master had only spoken of her with the same disdain that she did for everyone else. It was only through looking at the personal files on the Adaptors and Ryoko herself did Elfnein fully grasp the severity of the situation. Much like how her master had used her body to infiltrate SONG, so did Finé use the woman known as Ryoko to do the same. 

To say the issue was complicated was a dramatic oversimplification. Ryoko was a friend to those who worked here, including Hibiki, Miku and Tsubasa. Not a sneering villain or hell raising devil, but a trusted ally, mentor, and confidant. Worse even was that she acted as the Mistress to Chris, and the architect behind the Receptor Children program that cost Maria, Shirabe and Kirika so much of their childhood. Yet she had seemingly attempted to take a different path at the end of her life, even choosing to perish in place of Shirabe.

It made her think of her master.

Carol was by all rights, a monster in a human's body. Distorted by her years of anguish over her father's death and her desperate desire to understand the world. Yet, she had nevertheless given her life to save Elfnein, even placing a safeguard to help Elfnein should she ever come into harm's way again. If you had asked Elfnein if Carol would ever do that, she would have told you not in a million years.

So Elfnein poured through every piece of research that SONG had on Finé. Be it intel from the Bavarian Illuminati, FIS, or just old Section 2 entries about Ryoko. She had gone over it all with a fine toothed comb, searching for any and all answers she could potentially get on the matter. In addition, she took into account all the details she had on Kirika’s _Igalima,_ which had the capability to “cut one’s soul in two.”

The specific wording of that had confunded her the most. When she brought it up with Genjuro, he told her about an old TV show he had been a big fan of that had the idea of a person's personality being split. When it happened, there would always be one side that was good natured, and one side that was pure evil. They had debated back in forth on if the two halves of Finé’s soul had in fact been literally split in two and gone into two different individuals. The theory was further exacerbated by the fact that Finé had merged with the _Nehushtan Armor_ when she died, which was a naturally regenerative relic

The chance of it all being a ruse was not lost on them either. Chris had indeed been the first one to see her, but she was in the presence of Hibiki and Miku, both of whom were capable of being Divine Weapons. Kazanari Fudo had been hellbent on weaponizing that, and as much as the former patriarch of the Kazanari clan may like to deny it, no one works alone. It was easily within the realm of possibility that someone was using Finé as a clever disguise to keep them off the trail of what their actual goal was.

Taking this possibility, along with all the intel they gained from Section 2, the Bavarian Illuminati, FIS, Carol’s resurrection, the _Nehushtan_ Armor, and _Igalima_ into account, Elfnein could only come to one conclusion.

She had no idea what the fuck was going on. 

She drained her cup of coffee, dead on her feet. 

Between the _Shénshòujìng_ reconstruction and the research into Finé, Elfnein had once again been neglecting her sleep. She did not want to invite more teasing from the Commander regarding her bad sleeping habits, and she was determined to make him proud by finally getting some good shut eye.

She was all set to take out her earpiece when Natsu Kashiyami’s voice broke through it. “Elfnein-san? Are you there?”

“Kashiyani-san? What is it?”

Ever since Chris saw Finé her security detail had been upgraded. Natsu Kashiyami had been that upgrade, keeping an eye on Chris, making sure she got to classes, home, and other places. Chris was no fan of being babysat however, so her proximity was forced to be long distance. 

“Is Chris-san with you?” She asked, her desperate voice making a pit form in Elfnein’s stomach.

Natsua Kashiyami had been a recent addition to SONG. She had pink hair that was just a little bit shorter than Elfnein’s. She was also incredibly profesional, which made her the perfect target for pranks by Genjuro. 

This was not a prank.

“No...perhaps she is with the Commander?” Elfnein tried to suggest, walking out of the Symphogear workshop and beginning to jog to HQ’s control room.

“She failed to return home. I have been searching the local area. There is nothing.” The women’s stern voice sounded close to breaking. “Elfnein-san, I don’t know where she is.”

“Contact the Commander. I’m going to the bridge.”

After many missions aboard their beloved temporary HQ, the reconstruction of the original headquarters at the site of the _Kadingir_ event was finished. SONG’s resources had been spread thin in keeping guard over the Abyss, where _Durandal_ and other high priority relics were once kept, and in supporting active missions. Now they could operate in a fully decked out headquarters, with their temporary HQ still readily available. 

It was the bankroll of the Kazanari Organization that finally finished the production of it, and Elfnein had to admit a certain fondness for the pastel interior. No longer being restricted to a submarine meant they could properly develop entire research stations much like they had before Finé saw to its destruction with _Kadingir_. 

It was far easier to repair the damages in the old headquarters rather than attempt to duplicate the impenetrable defenses. The results were highly effective, making for Elfnein’s home, in addition to giving every SONG agent and Adaptor a mini apartment within the structure itself. A useful addition, especially if it meant that Chris would need to be temporarily housed if problems continued to arise with Finé.

Something gave Elfnein pause, the ball in her stomach becoming heavier. Looking around, this structure was an imposing force of defense, virtually impenetrable, and sat above some of the most powerful artifacts in the world. Not only that, but it was both the workstation of her own designs, and the research into intel on other relics, artifacts, and “special disasters” as they were called. It was one of the most advanced structures in the entire world.

And Finé had brought it to the ground.

If she did could do that to a building, what could this woman do to Chris?

Elfnein didn’t need her coffee anymore. 

Her sprint to the control room would have made Miku proud. The Commander’s voice exploding into her ear like an alarm clock armed with a grenade. “Elfnein-kun! Please go to the Control Room and run a search for _Ichaival_ immediately!”

“Yes Sir!” Elfnein said through ragged breaths. She ran into the door before it could open automatically, throwing herself to the center console normally reserved for the Commander.

Her fingerprint unlocked it but the computer’s instantaneous start up time was far too slow. Bringing up the Symphogear Adaptor’s screen, she instinctively ran a full scan, rather than focusing on _Ichaival_.

_Thoroughness. You would have run the scans for these anyway._

The computer prioritized the scanning via model number, followed by alphabetical order per model number. Meaning _Ichaival_ would be one of the last scanned.

_ >Scanning: _

This was already taking so long, why hadn’t she just slowed down and done _Ichaival_ first?

_Scan Complete:_

_ >SG-i01: Shul Shagana _

_ >Adaptor: Tsukuyomi Shirabe _

_ >Status: System All Green: Normal Operation _

_ >Location: Sector 29, Lydian Music Academy, Dorm 32A _

That was good! Shirabe had after all been the one Finé would have reincarnated in during the Frontier incident. Her status as a Receptor Child also necessitated her being put under extra security, in case Finé tried to overtake her, or someone who wished for Finé too attempted to abduct her.

_ >SG-i02: Igalima _

_ >Adaptor: Akatsuki Kirika _

_ >Status: System All Green: Normal Operation _

_ >Location: Sector 29, Lydian Music Academy, Dorm 32A _

_They’re both safe._

Elfnein could not help but breathe a sigh of relief. If someone had gotten to one of them it was likely they got to both of them. She never knew a simple system scan would give her such relief. Doing a full scan right away was the best idea.

_ >SG-i03: Shénshòujìng _

_ >Adaptor: Kohinata Miku _

_ >Status: System All Red: Zero Operation _

_ >Location: Sector 1, SONG HQ _

Okay, maybe not. This was frustrating, as this was providing her precisely useless information. She knew the _Shénshòujìng_ was not operational, and she knew where it was. She had just been working on it a few minutes ago.

_ >SG-r01: Ame no Habakiri _

_ >Adaptor: Kazanari Tsubasa _

_ >Status: System All Green: Normal Operation _

_ >Location: Sector 27, Dolphin Hotel, Room 237 _

“Elfnein-kun! Report!” Genjuro’s voice ordered over her earpiece.

“It’s nearly done!” Elfnein cried, the dread in her stomach now beginning to hurt. What was going to happen?

_ >SG-r02: Ichaival _

_ >Adaptor: Yukine Chris _

_ >Status: ERROR _

_ >Location: ERROR _

“What?” Elfnein felt the bottom in her stomach fall out. The dread didn’t go with it though, instead it just spilled onto the floor going up her legs and into her ears.

_ >SG-r03: Gungnir _

_ >Adaptor: Tachibana Hibiki _

_ >Status: System All Green: Normal Operation _

_ >Location: Sector 12: Cabrini Green Apartment Complex: Apartment 35 _

“Elfnein! Have you found _Ichaival_?”

It didn’t glitch out. Thank Carol that the system had not glitched out, it just glitched out on finding _Ichaival_. This did not sit well with Elfnein.

_ >SG-x00 Airgetlám: _

_ >Adaptor: Maria Cadenzavna Eve _

_ >Status: System All Green: Normal Operation _

_ >Location Sector 6, Tokyo Japan, Highton District. _

“Elfnein kun!” 

“There was an error! Running system diagnostics! Attempting to scan again!” Elfnein lied, but she wasn't sure if it was to him or herself. It took ten painfully long minutes for the diagnostics to finish, with only the crushing sound of silence to accompany her.

_ >SG-r02: Ichaival _

_ >Adaptor: Yukine Chris _

_ >Status: ERROR _

_ >Location: ERROR _

“Oh come on!” Elfnein cried. Typing madly, she ran another scan for it. Rule of three. Rule of three. Sometimes when you did a reset, it could still have the last stored display right? That’s what was happening! It had to be! If something had happened, it would display like the _Shénshòujìng,_ not this completely unhelpful and hostile ERROR screen!

_ >SG-r02: Ichaival _

_ >Adaptor: Yukine Chris _

_ >Status: ERROR _

_ >Location: ERROR _

“Elfnein-kun...please. Where is Chris?” Genjuro’s soft, desperate voice pleaded. She knew he knew the answer already.

“I don’t know.” Elfnein said, falling to her knees, the red flashing ERROR laughing at her. “I don’t have a clue where she is!”

~!~

_“Keep breathing. Easy, breathe, don’t inhale. Breathe”_

_The woman’s words were distant, but Chris obeyed, sucking in on the oxygen mask in the backseat of the woman’s pink car._

_“I’m going to start driving again. We can’t let them catch up with us.” She’s behind the wheel, and they are off to the races again._

_It had been like this for two days. The woman constantly driving erratically, down back country roads, through villages, cities, towns. Every time they’d stop they would change cars. It was like she had this route meticulously planned._

_It made Chris suspicious._

_“You don’t trust me.” It wasn’t a question. The woman was just stating it as fact._

_It was a fact._

_“That’s okay. That means you're smart.”_

_Chris met her eyes in the rearview mirror._

_“Please understand, I am only trying to save you.”_

_Chris laughed through the oxygen mask._

_“Those men. Those disgusting men. They were going to use you. They were going to sell you. I managed to find out about you because I have infiltrated their organization. You are not the first girl I have saved, nor will you be the last.” Venom laced her voice as she spoke of the human traffickers._

_Chris liked it._

_“But we will be at my home soon. I won’t make you stay there. Only till we get you set up so I know that those pigs won’t try and get you again.”_

_Chris breathed through the mask in response._

_“You don’t have to say anything. I can talk enough for both of us!” She laughed to herself, whipping around the corner of a mountain pass fast enough that they should have gone spiraling to their deaths._

_“My name is Finé.”_

_“The end.”_

_Finé nearly wrecked the car at that, spinning around and almost crashing into a ditch._

_“She speaks!” She was looking back at her now, golden eyes glowing brilliantly at Chris. “And she knows her etymology! How fluent are you in Italian?”_

_Chris breathed in through the mask, a smirk forming on her lips._

_“Vai a farti fottere.”_

~!~

**2:15 AM**

Tsubasa’s motorcycle roared throughout the night. 

She cut through the highway like a knife, daring anyone or anything to get in her way. Pity to anyone who dared, because Tsubasa would not brake for anyone at this point.

Well, that wasn’t quite right.

There were two people she’d brake for.

“Yukine…” She breathed out in desperation. A deep frustration burning in her, a pulsating headache threatening to blind her with rage that would make her tear down the roads in a fury that’d humble all who bore witness.

Nothing about this was right. 

Chris was her kohai. Someone who looked up to her, who sought her advice, who sought her council, who sought her guidance. Tsubasa was not certain when Chris had developed the certain way she seemed to look up to her, but Tsubasa tried to never discourage it. Once upon a time, Tsubasa needed someone to bring her out of her shell, and Kanade had done just that. The feelings that Tsubasa held for Chris were not romantic, but the love she felt was just as strong.

_Tonight of all nights._

That was what pissed Tsubasa off the most. The thing that made her jerk her bike as aggressive as she did, to grit her teeth hard enough to hurt. 

This was supposed to be Chris’s night. Her concert, her time to give her song to the world so that it could heal people. And somebody had decided that this was something they could ruin. 

Something they could pervert. 

Something they could use against Chris.

Something that Tsubasa had been victim to far too often.

Tsubasa carried that anxiety onto every stage she stood upon. Who was gonna try and make their name on her? Who was gonna reveal their presence to the world at her expense? How many more people were gonna die because Tsubasa wanted to sing? It made Tsubasa want to retire.

And that was why she continued to go out on stage.

The world needed her songs. There were people out there who needed wings of hope, to carry them out of whatever dark despair they were in.

It agonized her to think of Hibiki, and how she had treated her before. This poor girl, who had gone to her concert with little idea as to who _Zwei Wing_ were, who Kanade had given her life to save, and who was tortured by her neighbors and classmates for having the gall to survive. It was months before she knew the details in full, but Hibiki only had two things to find joy in at that time: The love of Kohinata Miku, and Tsubasa’s songs.

Her behavior used to fill Tsubasa with hot shame, but now it gave her a gritty resolve. Knowing what she did for Hibiki made her ruthlessly determined to make sure that others like Hibiki would always be able to hear her songs.

That was why Kazanari Tsubasa would never stop singing.

That was why Kazanari Tsubasa would never stop making songs.

And that was why whoever was stalking Chris was going to fucking _pay._

Chris, one of her best friends and confidants, had gone out on stage, pouring her heart and soul into a song of pain. The piece was wordless, conveyed only on the cords of her violin, yet it had brought Tsubasa to tears. Chris was _healing._ But she wasn't just healing herself, she was using her pain to help others be able to understand their own pain, their own misery, and to find their own healing.

And someone wanted to ruin that.

 _I will find you_.

When Elfnein’s emergency communication broke out over the transceiver, it was the worst possible scenario. Not only did Chris fail to return from the concert, but now something was apparently blocking them from tracking her via _Ichaival._ It would have been better had she been separated from _Ichaival,_ or if it had been destroyed. That would give them _something_ to look into at the very least.

Elfnein had been joined by Tomosato and Fujitaka. Working with Elfnein, they had begun developing a way to counter their own inability to track _Ichaival_ . Fujitaka and Elfnein worked on decrypting the mysterious **ERROR** that plagued their attempts at tracking her, so they could find _Ichaivals_ last known location prior to whatever happened that made it untraceable. Tomosato, on Kirika’s suggestion, had decided to do a much more methodical, yet accurate approach.

Using the city’s various traffic and security cameras, she followed Chris’s movements, street by street, district by district, sector by sector. The problem there is that the cameras in the city were not designed to exclusively track five foot tall girls. Also not helping matters was when it was not clear which direction Chris went, necessitating Tomosato to go through each camera linking, looking for where Chris went just off screen, just to pick up where she left off. Tomosato had been working on it for half an hour, and had gotten through about ten minutes of footage.

Tsubasa, her fellow Adaptors, her uncle, as well as Ogawa and Kashiyami had taken to doing a similar more practical method of search. Scouring every inch of the city with desperate abandon, hoping to find something, _anything_ that would clue them into her location.

But Chris was not their only target.

There was after all, the other person that Tsubasa would brake for.

Finé.

It was enough to make her cry.

A long time ago, Sakurai Ryoko was someone who filled the hole left by her mother’s suicide. She was sweet, funny, encouraging, kind, not afraid to be Tsubasa’s friend, her mentor, and also the one who would let Tsubasa know if she was being a brat.

She was family.

It was Ryoko who helped her and Kanade truly connect. Giving Tsubasa the push to be more flirty with Kanade, to be more affectionate. Those interactions now felt like poison. 

Was Ryoko trying to be the fun “wine aunt”, or was she trying to vicariously live through her relationship with Kanade? All those “hilarious” inappropriate comments that would make Tsubasa red faced and Kanade roar with laughter held a sinister edge. Her own memories now acted as a trap.

In a way, that’s what made Tsubasa hate Finé the most.

There were now memories she had of Kanade that Tsubasa could no longer enjoy. Others had countless memories of their loved ones, but for Tsubasa, hers were a finite supply. Memory was all that she had left of her.

Finé had taken some of those away.

It made her so mad she had to laugh. It was kind of hilarious just how bloodthirsty it made her.

The day that her uncle asked if Finé had assaulted her was burned into her memory. It was the only reason he had confided to her what had happened to Chris. She tried to recall every second she spent with Ryoko, and it all just felt so horribly heinous. Little “accidents” that Ryoko would have while giving Tsubasa a medical check, or her just happening to stumble into the showers when Tsubasa was bathing. Tsubasa had never once thought more of it beforehand.

Then her uncle asked her if Ryoko had ever done anything to Kanade.

She braked hard in the middle of the street, balancing on her front tired before her cycle landed like a brick. Keeping her hand on the brake, she revved her engine, the smell of burning rubber invading her helmet. Maybe if she revved it long enough it would match how hot her blood was boiling.

_Had she?_

Tsubasa let go of the brake, shooting off like a bullet.

She was going to find Chris.

And she would remind her why Kazanari Tsubasa was a protector.

And she was going to find Finé.

And she was going to take great pleasure in reminding her why Kazanari Tsubasa was a sword.

~!~

_The mansion was enormous._

_“You need to eat.”_

_Chris didn’t respond, watching the blonde woman from the corner of the little bedroom Finé had given her._

_“It’s not poisoned. But if you don’t eat soon, you’re gonna get sick. Then I’m going to have to take you to the hospital. Those men might get you there.” Finé cautioned scooting the plate of food to Chris with her food._

_She eyed the food wearily, not taking her eyes off Finé. Her stomach howled in agony at having been denied food for so long, but Chris could not trust the meal. Too many times had her food been laced with something that would make Chris more docile, before they took her to a place where they would do things to her that she would pray to forget._

_“Perhaps this will help.” Finé picked pieces of meat out of the bulgogi dish and ate it in front of Chris. “See? Not poisoned. Not drugged. Now eat.”_

_Chris did not take her eyes off Finé until she backed all the way to the door. Once she did, she launched herself at the food, forgoing the chopsticks and grabbing fistfuls of the beef and scarfing it down with wild abandon. Her mouth cried out in pleasure at the wonderful tastes exploding in her mouth, her stomach ravenously thankful for finally filling it with something real for the first time in who knows how long_

_“They had you trained like a dog didn’t they?” Chris ignored her words, shamelessly scarfing down the rice, terrified of any of being taken away. They couldn’t use it against her if she ate it all._

_Yet her eyes never left Finé, whose face held passive judgement at Chris’s feeding frenzy. When Finé began approaching again, Chris backed off into her corner again. But Finé just took out a water bottle, drinking from it and laying it down next to Chris’s food. “You’ll choke to death otherwise.” Finé sat on the bed, crossing her legs as she observed Chris._

_Chris understood._

_“What do you want me to do?” Chris asked without emotion, starting to take her shirt off, stopping when Finé reached out and grabbed her by the chin._

_“I want you to eat. I want you to drink. I want you to stay alive.” Finé’s compassionate words held double meaning to Chris, whose trembling hands had frozen. “You can tempt me with a good time all you like. You are a very beautiful girl after all, but I am much more interested in you staying alive than fucking you.” She winked at Chris, a warm smile on her lips. “Let me help you Chris.” Her thumb stroked Chris’s cheek. “Please.”_

_“Okay.”_

_When Finé took her hand away Chris found she missed it._

_“I never asked, but is it okay if I call you Chris?” Finé asked politely as Chris grabbed the water bottle._

_The question shocked Chris. Why was she asking her?_

_“I guess.” Her face started to burn with shame. “I don’t remember what to call you.”_

_“Finé.”_

_Chris’s shame intensified. “I meant how to address you.” Chris said with shame, wishing she could remember the way to address her savior._

_Finé’s hand grabbed her face, making her meet her eyes._

_“Finé is just fine Chris. I think we are close enough for that, don’t you?”_

_Chris wanted to cry at Finé’s warm smile. “Okay.”_

_She helped her stand up, with the adult bowing to the child._

_“My name is Finé. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Chris.”_

_The child bowed to the adult._

_“My name is Chris. It’s nice to meet you too, Finé.”_

~!~

**4: 55 AM**

“ _Now go ahead and get your Robe. By the time you get there we’ll have found her, and we’d head there anyway. It’s like you always tell her, in ten minutes, everything will be fine.”_

Hibiki wished she was right.

“I’m exiting Sector 8. The department store fire was a false alarm.” She leaped through the sky, full of exhausting adrenaline. 

“Okay Hibiki-kun. In Sector 6 there’s reports of a disturbance at an apartment complex. Sending you the coordinates.” Fujitaka sounded as exhausted as she felt. In lieu of searching every square inch, Fujitaka was directing her to any police or emergency reports that happened in the city.

“Thanks.”

Hibiki eyes were straining as they tried to take in Sector 7 in passing. Another Miku nightmare meant another night of Hibiki getting very little sleep. She was excited for Chris’s concert, but she was far more excited in finally being able to get some decent shut eye. 

Now with Chris missing, she knew she would not be sleeping until she found her safe and sound. She couldn’t believe that this was the work of Finé.

But now she was starting to doubt even that.

The look Tsubasa gave her when Hibiki suggested that Finé was being framed was terrifying. It was not like Tsubasa to lose control of her emotions like that, so Hibiki chalked it up to the high stress situation. She knew Tsubasa was just like her, worried about Chris

_“Believe in the song in your heart.”_

Finé’s last words.

When Hibiki had repeated them in front of Chris, she looked like Hibiki had grown a second head. It almost reminded her of how Tsubasa looked at her before, but somehow worse. Tsubasa looked angry, but at that moment, Chris looked...hurt. It was almost like she was afraid, but the shock on her face was what troubled Hibiki the most. Like she had made some great unknown offense.

She knew that Chris and Finé did not have the best of relationships. That Finé had taken Chris in following her enslavement in _Val Verde_ , and that she had manipulated Chris into activating relics for her. She also knew that when Chris told her she had to do “hard labour” while in _Val Verde_ was a lie. Chris might have liked to call her a dummy, but she had seen firsthand the type of people who were allowed to rise to power in _Val Verde._

She tried not to think about what Chris must have gone through. 

Chris was one of the nicest people that Hibiki had ever met. She didn’t deserve to have those horrible things happen to her.

In a way, she was happy that someone like Finé had taken her in, even if the relationship had soured over time, it was obvious that Chris needed someone to support her. 

She didn’t bother sharing that thought with the others. It was not hard to see why, especially with Tsubasa. She knew that Tsubasa blamed Finé for Kanade’s death, and Hibiki could see why. The things that Finé had done were horrendous and terrible, no matter how justified and good intentioned she had felt. But more than that, Finé had pretended to be Ryoko, and finding out that someone you loved had let you down was a hard pill to swallow. Hibiki knew that much from her dad.

She hoped that the others would be able to reconcile with Finé like she had with her dad.

Sure, he and her mom had only been able to get along with each other enough to actually finalize their divorce, but it was a far better place then they had been at a few years ago. They could stand to be around eachother, even if they only really did it for Hibiki’s sake.

If she could get that same kind of resolution with Finé and Chris, she would be happy. Not everything needed a perfect little bow wrapped around it, but sometimes it was important for people to get closure. If she could help Chris obtain that, then she would search for her all night.

“Entering Sector 6, where is the disturbance?”

“Closeby. Report coming from _Highton View Terrace_.” 

They had been searching for so long that they were reaching redundancies. Maria had already searched through this Sector, and it felt like a complete waste of time. She was tired, she was anxious, and she needed to know that Chris was okay.

“Hibiki?”

“Miku!” That cheered her up. At the very least she could talk to Miku over the coms. “Have you found anything?”

“No. I just finished the docks again. I’m not finding anything.” Miku’s voice paused, fearful. “What if we don’t find her, Hibiki?”

“Hey, hey, hey. None of that Miku, it’s going to be fine. No matter what happens we are going to find Chris-chan, or we are going to find Finé and she will take us to her.” Hibiki said, smiling for the first time in a while.

“Do you trust Finé, Hibiki?” Miku’s voice was cautious, worried. It hurt.

“Miku…” Hibiki didn’t know how to respond. She was not sure if _trust_ was the right word. But she believed in Finé’s last words to her. Believing in the song in her heart had gotten her through some of the worst times in her life, long before Finé had ever actually said those words to her. “I don’t know. I think she’s trying to tell us something.”

“So you don’t trust Chris?” Miku’s voice was calm, she was barely asking a question.

“What? No!” Hibiki landed on a rooftop, looking around the area frustrated. “I trust Chris-chan! I think she’s right to be worried about her! But that doesn't mean that Finé is the one we should worry about!”

“I’m worried about Chris.”

“I am too!” Hibiki pulled at her hair in frustration. “Miku-”

“What do you know about Finé, Hibiki?” This wasn’t rhetorical. It sounded like a real question.

“I know she loved romance. She worked with us during Section 2, she died for Shirabe, she took Chris in after _Val Verde_.” Hibiki’s tired brain scrambled for more, trying to piece together everything she could remember about the woman. “Wait...Miku what do you know about Finé? Did Chris tell you more?”

Hibiki was never jealous of the time that Miku and Chris spent together. She knew that Chris had a hard time accepting help and admitting she needed help. Hibiki knew better than anyone how great it was to have Miku to listen to your problems. But did that mean that Miku knew more about Finé than anyone else?

“I know that Chris talked to me about her parents. About Ver. About Sonya, Stefan, and _Val Verde_. I know that she told me more about what she went through then I ever wanted to know. But Hibiki,” The pregnant pause stretched the fabric of time. “She only talked about Finé once. The day I met her.”

“What...what did she say?” Hibiki felt like she was on the edge of a cliff, like she was about to fall into the unknown.

“Nothing we don’t already know but…” Miku’s voice made it sound like she was right on the edge of the cliff with Hibiki. “She had bruises, Hibiki. Not the kinds you got from fighting the Noise.”

“...Miku, what are you saying?”

“I think there’s a lot about Finé that Chris didn’t tell us.”

Hibiki stood on the roof, uncertainty gripping her tight. She remembered those kind violet eyes staring back at, different from the golden ones. The violet eyes that told her to remember the song in her heart. Were those the eyes that looked at Chris?

“I don’t know what Chris was keeping from us. So we better get to asking her.” Hibiki tried to put confidence into her voice, unsuccessfully. 

”Yeah.” Miku’s response was short. She didn’t buy into Hibiki’s bravado either.

Hibiki crossed Sector 6 in relative silence. The unease in Miku’s words had infected her own. 

What did she really know of Finé?

Was the person who Hibiki seemed to get through really Finé? Or was it just the memory of Ryoko? Could she tell the difference between them?

 _Chris-chan could_.

“Everyone, report status.”

Genjuro’s words echoed over everyone’s coms. Hibiki was thankful for the distraction.

“Tsubasa reporting. I am exiting Sector 4. No sign of Yukine.”

“This is Maria. I’m in Sector 10. Nothing.”

“Miku here. I just did Sector 19 again. I’m going into Sector 20.”

“Kirika and Shirabe here. Nothing in Sector 15.”

“Ogawa here at the airport Commander. All departing flights have been grounded. We are still searching the planes. Two departed in the time frame. The flight catalog for them is on it’s way to HQ.”

“Kashiyami here, in Sector 6. Investigating local disturbance.”

“Hibiki here, also in Sector 6. I think Kashiyami-san and I are going after the same place.”

“Where is it?” Genjuro questioned.

“ _Highton View Terrace_!”

There was a pause in the tension, before Genjuro’s voice exploded over the coms.

“Everyone! Converge on _Highton View Terrace_ immediately!” He shouted as if he had just figured something drastically important out. 

“Yes Master!” Hibiki shouted, her voice lost in the deafening agreements. She used her leg jacks to launch her forward through the night air. She could see the high rise apartment building in the distance. She didn’t know much about it, only that it was abandoned.

“Hibiki?” Miku again.

“Miku. I’m nearly there, how far are you?”

“I think twenty minutes, please be careful.”

“I will.” She bit her lip, “Miku. I’m going to find her. I won’t let Finé stop me.” Hibiki took an enormous leap into the air, letting her leg jacks hyper extend, before shooting herself forward in front of the apartments.

 _Highton View Terrace_ loomed over her like a dark monolith, its shadow swallowing her up in the dead of night. It felt like staring at the Noise for the very first time. There was no doubt about it. 

Chris was inside.

“ _CHRIS-CHAN!”_ Hibiki screamed, letting her cry of desperation drown out the eerie silence that permeated around the complex. She charged for the double doors that made up her entry way, shoulder barging through them with reckless abandon. “Chris-chan!” Her voice echoed in the dark catacomb like hallways of the abandoned building.

Nothing.

Not a stir of a rat, the flea of a bat, or even the sound of would be squatters waking. Not a word. Not a peep. Eerie silence that Hibiki had only known in the vastness of space and the bottom of the Arctic ocean.

“Hello?” Truth be told, she feared something answering her. But that would not stop her now. She needed to find Chris, wherever she may be within this mausoleum of former residences. Her Gear would not permit her to make a stealthy approach, so she began to run down the darkly lit apartment hallways. 

The main room of the complex seemed like the kind of place that people could pick up their mail, with a large two sided staircase that led up to the second floor. Leaping past the stairs, Hibiki was thankful for the song in her heart; the words kept her warm in the face of the looming anxiety. 

The second floor was unlike the first, almost a single row of interior access to apartments, two doors and an elevator decorating it. “Chris-chan? Finé?” Saying both of those words so close together almost felt like she was betraying her friend. Did Miku know more? What was the deal between Chris and Finé?

She swallowed the lump in her throat, punching open door after door on the second floor. Each and every single apartment was as empty as the last. Not the hint of a soul having lived in there. Some of them looked like they had been abandoned for years.

“Chris-chan, hold on. I’m coming.” 

Hibiki opened the hallway door to the stairwell. It took her a moment to readjust her eyes to the windowless darkness, but she could still feel her way for the railing, the light of her Gear helping guide the way. That was when she smelled the looming scent of gunfire. She sprinted up the steeper steps to the third floor, following her nose to the fourth and gasped.

“Chris-chan?”

Bullet holes lined seemingly every single inch of the landing. Part of the railing had been blown apart, and two walls had been completely knocked out, letting in the cold winds of December. But the scorch marks and the holes in the ceiling were nothing compared to the wall behind the fourth floor landing, which had it’s wall completely blown out. 

“Kashiyami-san?” Hibiki spoke out over the coms. “Fourth floor of the Terrace! I found what looks like a fight Chris-chan had!”

Silence. 

So she tried Genjuro. 

“Master, I’m at _Highton View Terrace_ , I think I found where Chris-chan could be, should I wait for Kashiyami-san?”

Removing a trembling hand from her ear, Hibiki discovered just how loud silence could be. She looked out the hole in the stairwell, at the looming streets outside.

It had begun to snow again.

She didn’t have time to wait around.

Gulping, she turned her back to the outside and leapt to the fourth floor through the hole in the wall. Landing in an apartment, she braced herself, ready for the ambush. Every hair on edge, there was no Finé, no Chris either, no nothing. Just an empty apartment with bullet holes in it.

“Chris-chan!” It was like she was shouting into the void. What would she do if Chris answered? Or if someone else did?

_Believe in the song in your heart._

Swallowing her fear, Hibiki saw a hole in the ceiling of the apartment she was in. Jumping up into the hole, the fifth floor apartment was almost completely covered in black scorch marks. As if someone had leaped up here, firing lasers in desperation. Hibiki had seen Chris in combat enough times, she could almost perfectly picture it.

Had she been fighting Finé?

Hibiki felt her heart surge with pride for Chris. Despite her fears, she had fought. It reminded her of when they went to _Val Verde_ , and despite her fears, Chris had not hesitated to help fight.

Hibiki knew first hand how terrified she was too. Chris had woken up constantly during the trip there in fits of panic and fear. The nightmares of that place had haunted her so, and she willingly plunged into them, so that others might not share her fate. Chris, who spent so much time worrying about other people’s mental well being that she had lied about what the gangs had done to her. 

_“They used me. Those pigs used me like I was a fucking dog.”_

_“Chris-chan, what do you mean they used you?”_

_“Tch, I was their little worker. Breaking rocks, measuring their drugs, cleaning their boots. Pigs.”_

Hibiki traced the signs of fighting into the main hallway, all the way to the blown open elevator doors. It was impossible to see the full extent of the damage within the elevator’s shaft, but Hibiki was able to follow it upwards, ascending to the 10th floor. The staircase she was in prior had only gone up seven floors, finding the point of origin for Chris’s attack saved her precious time on tracking her down. 

She hadn’t believed Chris when she told her that all that happened in _Val Verde_ was “hard labor.” She could figure out the truth. She tried to never bring up what happened to her. The very idea of it felt so ungodly wrong that it made Hibiki want to puke. The fact that somebody could do something like that to someone like Chris... What kind of monster would do that?

“Ahhh!” Hibiki shouted, punching a wall in frustration. Letting out slow controlled breaths, she resisted the urge to vomit, to scream, to tear the apartment complex floor by floor apart. She had to be careful. If the place collapsed, Chris could very well die in it.

_No…Chris-chan, please don’t die._

The image of Chris, a human shield against the invincible power of _Kadingir_. Seeing her fall from the heavens to the sky below plagued Hibiki’s dreams. She had almost lost Chris that day. She would not lose her again.

_“What do you know about Finé, Hibiki?”_

The words of Miku rocked her. When Chris fell, when she had _died,_ Finé had reacted as if it was something to laugh off. Like she had simply dropped a tool on the ground and it had broken.

_“They used me. Those pigs used me like I was a fucking dog.”_

Hibiki was trembling, falling to her knees as she tried to steady her breathing. She felt like she was on the edge of the cliff once again, but Miku was not with her. No one was. 

What did she know about Finé?

_She loves romance. She loved Enki, she worked with Section 2, she wanted me to believe in the song in my heart…_

It was like someone was clutching her heart, trying to rip it out of her chest. She grinded her teeth in pain, barely able to breathe, the cliff’s edge was close, the sound of the crushing water beneath it on the edge of her ears.

Finé. 

Ryoko. 

Who was she? 

And why was she doing this to Chris?

Why couldn’t the two of them just stop fighting?

It felt like her ear was being bit.

Like it had before.

And realization hit her like a bullet.

_“Why don’t people all over the world just stop fighting?” She had naively asked into a mug of coffee._

_“I’m sure,” Ryoko whispered sultry into her ear. “It’s because humanity is cursed.” Ryoko said before biting on the edge of Hibiki’s ear._

_She had shrieked, standing up from the shocking sensation._

_“Aw, you’re so cute. Maybe I’ll make you mine before someone else gets to you!”_

She had taken Chris in after _Val Verde._

_“The power of a young girl in love is amazing!”_

They had found the shrine she made of Hibiki.

_“I’ve been ordered to bring you in!”_

_No…_

“Chris-chan…”

_“They used me. Those pigs used me like I was a fucking dog.”_

“Chris-chan…” She repeated aloud, ears burning, heart racing. “What do you mean she used you?”

_“Tch, I was their little worker. Breaking rocks, measuring their drugs, cleaning their boots. Pigs.”_

_You lied Chris. You lied twice._

Hibiki vomited through her hands, the remnants of her dinner spilling onto the hallway floor. _Gungnir,_ her holy light in the foreboding darkness disappeared from her, the holy words lost in her bile.

 _“Finé!”_ Hibiki screamed in anguish. She pulled at her hair in desperation, trying to get the image of what Finé did to Chris out of her head _._ She took off in a sprint, following the trail of bullets and conflict down the impossibly dark hallways. “ _Chris-chan! Chris-chan where are you!”_ She screamed, tearing into the 10th floor stairwell to the 11th, her screams stopped suddenly with Tsubasa’s hand clamping over her mouth.

Tsubasa pushed her against the wall, a ruthless fire blazing behind her eyes. “Is someone chasing you?” She mouthed, not making a word, her Gear as silent as a shadow.

Hibiki shook her head. She dimly hoped there wasn’t vomit on her mouth when Tsubasa removed her hand. “Tsubasa-san…”

“Have you found Yukine? Or Finé?” Tsubasa asked, eyeing the hallway Hibiki had just sprinted from, her blade held firmly in her hand.

“No…” Hibiki said, despair clutching at her heart. She was glad Tsubasa was here, but the question she knew the answer to lurked at the edge of her lips like vomit.

“Tsubasa-san...Finé, she...she raped Chris, didn’t she?”

“Yes.”

The blade of _Ame no Habakiri_ shook in Tsubasa’s hands. A rage that Hibiki had never seen before radiating from her like an addictive drug.

“Oh.” 

It was the only thing she could say.

It was the only thing she could say. 

It was the only thing she could say.

“Hibiki.” She stared at Tsubasa, who had pointed her shaking blade to the next floor. “Did Finé do the same to you?” Tsubasa had her back to her. Hibiki had always tried to imagine when Tsubasa would first call her by her name. She wished it wasn’t because of this. 

She wished it was because of anything other than this.

“No. Did she…”

“No.”

The words were final. And so Hibiki followed Tsubasa up the stairs, barely trusting her own legs to stand. 

The look on Chris’s face the other day, when she had said she wanted to talk to Finé. The hurt, the betrayed expression. It was burning itself into her brain. What her careless words had done to Chris, what Finé’s sadistic actions had done to Chris…

“How long did you know?” 

“Tachibana. We will talk about this once we have found Yukine.” Tsubasa’s words were curt. The trail of bullets and scorch marks was growing noticeably less distinct. They both knew the problem. _Ichaival_ was Chris’s weapon of choice. It used powerful explosives and a high rate of fire as it’s bread and butter. This building should not even be intact, let alone individual hallways. 

Whoever attacked Chris did something to make it so that she could not utilize _Ichaival_ properly. A hostage? ANTI-LiNKER? What could it have been? 

On the crest of the 12th floor stairway, they saw it. 

_Ichaival._

Hanging in pendent form from the doorknob that led into the 12th floor. It was like someone had put it there as a casual accessory for the door. They both grabbed at it, Hibiki snatching _Ichaival_ and Tsubasa tearing the door open and screaming down the hall. _“YUKINE!”_

Wordlessly, they each chose a different side to search. Tsubasa tearing open every apartment door on the right, Hibiki on the left. Every door was broken into, every room searched.

When they had made it halfway through the floor Hibiki feared that Chris was no longer there.

That was when she heard Tsubasa scream.

 _“No!”_ The sound made Hibiki pivot from her own apartment, _Ame no Habakiri_ clattering on the hallway floor as Tsubasa backed away. Her eyes were wide, her mouth etched in a scream that made Hibiki’s ears bleed. Tsubasa’s back hit the wall and she slid down the side, clutching at her head as her wail continued.

Hibiki didn’t dare go look.

But she had to.

“Chris-chan!” She shouted as she ran into the door, hand flying to cover her mouth at the sight. 

Hibiki couldn’t tell if Chris was dead or not.

Her nude body was crucified against the window, covered in her own blood that had come out of her vacant eyes, ears and mouth. The top of her long lavender hair sat a crown of thorns. Razor wire pulled her arms at the wrist into the shape of a cross, with her duct taped feet barely scraping the ground. 

“ _NO! CHRIS-CHAN! CHRIS-CHAN!”_


	4. We Know For Certain That It Is Absolutely Not Finé.

_With a flash, her world begins._

_The color out of space rapidly approached earth._

_It descended onto a small island nation._

_To a large city._

_A tower that threatened the heavens stood over a facility of secrets and ancient power._

_Deep within the facility, was a young woman._

_She woke up, looking for her partner, her sunshine._

_“Hibiki?”_

_She looked around, not finding her girlfriend who had cried herself to sleep against her._

_That was when she felt the presence in the room._

_A presence she had felt before._

_“Who are you?” She asked._

_There was no answer, but the presence did not move._

_Miku turned to look at Miku._

_Miku wore a blue uniform with a purple tie and undershirt. The winter uniform for all SONG Agents._

_Miku wore a black dress that clung to her body like a second skin._

_Emerald eyes met ruby._

_“I’m dreaming aren’t I?”_

_“Are we?”_

_“I am dreaming. And you are a nightmare.”_

_“I am your reality.”_

_“You’re the one behind this aren’t you? The one behind what happened to Chris?”_

_“Are you asking me if you are guilty?”_

_“Absurd. I hold no guilt in what has happened to her.”_

_“Paradox. A lack of guilt does not constitute a lack of crime.”_

_“I do not lack in guilt.”_

_“Neither do I.”_

_Miku stared Miku down._

_Ruby eyes meeting emerald._

_“Concealment of the true nature of things will only sew discord.”_

_“The reality of the situation is not one I am willing to entertain.”_

_“Your inability to entertain it does not stop it from existing.”_

_“I am a god. I may entertain any reality I damn well please.”_

_“What of the reality that does not include the god-killer?”_

_“You will do nothing to Hibiki.”_

_“Can I say the same?”_

_Miku raised her arm._

_So did Miku._

_Green eyes blinked._

_Red eyes blinked._

_She reached out with her hand, touching the surface of the mirror._

“Hey Miku, who are you talking too?”

_Hibiki’s voice._

_The mirror is gone._

_And she is looking down to see Hibiki awaken Miku._

_With a flash, her world ends._

~!~

Ogawa’s flashlight tracked over the site of Chris’s crucifixion. The beam reflected off of the shining strings that had been used to hold her up in the biblical pose, so he switched to the blacklight. Unsurprisingly, the pieces of string that had been secured around her wrists had shined brightly with dry blood, but under closer inspection, he realized he had seen these strings before.

He had seen them that night as a matter of fact.

The balcony held the answer to his hypothesis. 

Barely hidden under a layer of fresh snow, was the remains of Chris’s violin. Its neck broken, the guts of its strings had been unceremoniously ripped out quite hastily it would seem. Breaking off a glow stick, he left it next to the evidence for SONG’s forensic team to collect after he had concluded his search of the room. 

Crossing out of the cold and into the slightly warmer threshold of the apartment did not make Ogawa feel any better. Despite all his searching, he had not been able to find evidence of any other footprints or tracks of someone they themselves could not account for. It was possible that he could not find a stray DNA sample without proper forensic tools, but the chance that this level of carnage would not leave behind more evidence was astronomically low.

“Ogawa-san?” Fujitaka’s voice came over his ear piece.

“Go ahead.” Ogawa said as he began to inspect the countless amounts of holes in the wall. Unlike the bullet holes that littered the rest of the apartment, these looked more like sharp pieces of shrapnel had pierced the walls, like someone put a grenade in a knife drawer. 

“The Commander has informed me that _Highton View Terrace_ was used by Chris-kun in the past to hide out, following her original escape from Finé.” 

“So that is why he ordered us here.”

“Ogawa-san…” Fujitaka’s voice carried the same conclusion that he did.

“You are correct Fujitaka-san. The fact that Chris-san had been attacked in the very building that she originally sought refuge from Finé from feels less like a coincidence and more like deliberate planning.”

“If we presume Chris-kun was led here,” Fujtaka chimed in, echoing Ogawa’s thoughts. “Then that would explain a lot of the irregularities here. But I don’t think that Chris-kun would venture here alone in pursuit, not when she knew so many of us were still awake at the time.”

“So someone knew that Chris-san would frequently come here by herself.” Ogawa was beginning to see a clearer picture.

“Which means that someone has been stalking her for far longer than a week.” Fujitaka thought out loud. “The charity event may have been where they began to track her, and once they realized she’d be coming here, set up their trap. Chris-kun was on foot, it would not have been hard to beat her here.”

“It’s possible they had begun to track her before the charity event as well.” Ogawa wondered, sensing a presence entering the apartment. “Watch where you step. The crime scene is still active.” He said, welcoming the sight of his fellow SONG agent Natsu Kashiyami.

Kashiyami had hair that was pinker than Maria’s but shorter than Miku’s. She was only an inch shorter than Ogawa, wore a distinct teal jacket, and had kind violet eyes. “Ogawa-san.”

“Kashiyami-san.” Ogawa nodded at her. “Were you able to find anything else on the roof?” He asked as he inspected more of the shrapnel like holes in the wall.

“It would appear that was how Chris-san got into the interior of the complex. No sign of any other individual.” Kashiyami said with little emotion, taking out her own flashlight and beginning a similar inspection to Ogawa.

“Someone worked very hard to not leave behind a trace.” Ogawa said inspecting the holes in the wall. “When was your last communication with Chris-san?”

“Shortly before she left for the concert. Around five-thirty.” Kashiyami answered. “I was to make sure that no one laid a trap at her home.”

_Are you defending yourself?_

“We are lucky that you called it in when you did.” Ogawa offered neutrally.

“We are only lucky that Shirabe-kun and Kiraka-kun reacted so quickly.” Kashiyami said bitterly.

_Hm._

“We are very lucky indeed.” Tsubasa and Hibiki had been the first to arrive on the scene, followed shortly by Kirika and Shirabe. The latter two had made an important stop at SONG HQ with Miku in order to obtain extra LiNKER for Maria, who had run out. That little pit stop had saved Chris’s life. The two had followed the screams of Tsubasa from where they landed on the roof, and recognizing the signs of an improperly used Climax Song, forced an overdose on Chris. 

It was in Elfnein’s hands now. From the last Ogawa had heard, their last minute actions had kept Chris’s heart from stopping, but had they been even minutes later it may have been too late. 

They _were_ lucky.

Very lucky.

Too lucky.

“Fujitaka-san,” Ogawa spoke into his ear piece again. “Could you indulge me?”

“I’ll do what I can, what do you need Ogawa-san?”

“Could you track the number that made the disturbance call?”

Kashiyami turned to look at Ogawa, curiosity on her face. 

“Yes, of course one moment.” Fujitaka said after a pause.

“What do you think?” Kashiyami questioned.

“Could you fire your gun Kashiyami-san?”

“At you, or did you have a particular target in mind?” Kashiyami did not look in the mood for Ogawa’s hypothesis. 

“Please, bare with me. You have a higher caliber than mine. Shoot the ceiling, if you do not mind.” Ogawa pleaded. She nodded with reluctance as Ogawa got on the coms to the ground team. “Ground team, tell us if you can hear this.” Ogawa said as Kashiyami unholstered her pistol and fired into the ceiling.

_KA-BLAM!_

The sound was deafening in the small room, Ogawa remembering in the nick of time to turn off his microphone. “Were you able to hear that?” Ogawa asked the waiting forensics team outside.

“Barely Sir, it’s hard to hear over the city and the weather.”

Kashiyami and Ogawa traded a look. “Chris-san’s firepower is far louder than that.” She said, eyes widening. 

“And yet all we got is a report of a disturbance.”

“People in this city know what those kinds of explosions mean,” Kashiyami’s line of thinking began to fall in line with Ogawa’s. “Hell, it might as well be a Noise alarm.”

“No emergency services called, no false reports, not even a traffic jam.” Ogawa added.

“Not a chance. Not a chance in hell.”

Ogawa put his finger under his chin. “Chris-san seeing a woman on the street who looks like Finé is a coincidence. Kirika-san and Shirabe-san having gone and gotten LiNKER is a miracle.” He paced back and forth. “A disturbance complaint in the dead of the night that led us directly to Chris-san, who was minutes away from dying?”

“Holy shit.” Kashiyami paled in realization.

“That’s not a coincidence. That’s not a miracle. That’s someone panicking, because they knew if we did not find Chris-san soon, she was going to die.”

“They wanted us to find her alive.”

“Ogawa-san?” Fujitaka’s voice shook over the com. Ogawa opened the com up to Kashiyami, who put her finger to her earpiece.

“Fujitaka-san, open your line to Kashiyami-san as well.”

“I can read you loud and clear Fujitaka-san, go ahead.”

“I traced the phone call. It was made on a personal cell phone, put into service about two weeks ago.”

“Do you have a name for who registered it?” Ogawa asked.

“Yes…”

“Spit it out Fujitaka-san! Who’s it registered too?” Kashiyami ordered impatiently.

“Yukine Chris.”

~!~

“Oh. I’m sorry, I did not realize I was interrupting something.” Ogawa said as he walked into what was once upon a time SONG HQ’s Recreation room.

There was a small kitchen with an island bar to sit at, a large couch and coffee table sitting in front of the huge wide screen TV, and a few bean bag chairs littered in the corners of the room. Or at least, that was how the room normally was, but a mess full of papers covered almost every square inch of the floor. The papers had hand drawn lines and maps all over them, some crossed out, some taped to the wall and TV, and some that led into the kitchen. 

In the center of it all was Kirika, with a green bandana around her head and tongue sticking out of her mouth, looking over her handiwork like a treasure hunter. “That’s not right.”

“Is there something I can help with, Kirika-san?” Ogawa asked helpfully, still holding the bag of evidence in his hand for the Commander.

To his left, two heads instantly popped up from behind the island bar. Shirabe and Tomosato looked at him, the former with a glare, the latter with relief. 

Shirabe placed a finger over her lips, “Shhhhhhh.” Pointing across the room, Ogawa could see Maria, who was half buried under bean bag chairs, out like a light.

Tomosato stood up silently, stretching out her back as she delicately stepped between the various lanes of paper that Kirika had laid the ground with. “Ogawa-san, so pleased to see you. What do you have there?” She whispered, eyeing the bag.

“Evidence from the crime scene. I’m taking it to the Commander.” He said under his breath, not wanting to disturb the sleeping Maria, or the deep in thought Kirika. 

“Oh Ogawa, you work too hard, here I can take it to him for you.” Tomosato said helpfully, before hastily grabbing the bag and running out the door he came in. “I’m sure Kirika-kun would love your help! Girls, don’t forget to wake Maria for her shower!” She said, closing the door behind her before Ogawa could do a thing to stop her.

“Oh! Ogawa-san!” Kirika popped up excitedly

“Kiri-chan!” Shirabe chastised quietly.

“Oh!” Kirika covered her mouth, glancing over her shoulder at the still sleeping Maria before looking back to Ogawa. “How’s Senpai?” She asked concerned. Behind her electric green eyes was energetic concern, the kind that could turn to overwhelming despair in an instant.

“Alive.” Ogawa said definitively. “Her condition is very serious, but Elfnein-san said she is going to pull through.” He smiled at the look of relief that crossed both their faces. “In no small part thanks to you two.” He noticed the look of relief vanish from Kirika, who now looked legitimately angry.

“I still hate that they used senpai as bait like that.” She said under her breath, tooth digging into her bottom lip.

“Bait?” Ogawa questioned, beginning to take a step around to see what Kirika had been drawing on the floor. It looked oddly familiar, which is when he noticed the building blueprints that were pinned to the lower section of the kitchen island. “Is this _Highton View Terrace_?” He asked, pointing to the blueprints.

“Dess. I’m mapping out senpai and the perp’s movements.” Kirika said casually, picking up where she had been drawing a line with a blue marker, an identical red one lying next to it.

“Is Finé the red one or the blue one?”

“Neither. It’s not Finé. But the perp is the blue, senpai is the red one.” Kirika said with such casual confidence that Ogawa could only smile in delighted surprise.

“You still don’t suspect Finé is behind this, Kirika-san?” He suddenly became very aware of the intense stare of Shirabe from the kitchen.

“Finé is dead.” Kirika said finishing with the blue marker and picking back up with the red one. “Perp just wants us to think it’s her.”

“A magic trick. Trick the audience to look at the hat so they are not looking at your sleeves.” He considered for a moment, still shocked that the two had managed to figure out their rescue of Chris was accounted for by the kidnapper. “That’s a very interesting hypothesis Kirika-san, could you explain it to me?”

“Ahem.” 

Shirabe sat on the countertop, looking down at Ogawa with a raised eyebrow. Kirika could only grin. “She figured this one out!” Kirika bounced up, leaping up onto the counter and pecking Shirabe on the lips. “Shirabe’s so smart!” She said happily spinning around on the linoleum countertop until she fell off the other side and immediately returned to drawing.

“My apologies Shirabe-san. Could you please explain your hypothesis to me?” Ogawa said politely standing up.

“There are multiple reasons as to how we know not only that this is not the work of Finé.” She said crossing her legs. “ _Ichaival_ .” Shirabe said, taking off her own relic pendant to use as a prop. “ _Highton View Terrace_ would have been completely levelled if senpai was attacking Finé.” 

Ogawa nodded, “Yes. Chris-san was deliberately seeking to not cause mass destruction.”

“Wrong!” Kirika giggled from the floor.

That shocked Ogawa enough to look at Kirika, “No?”

“Ahem.” Shirabe cleared her throat again. 

“I’m listening.” Ogawa leaned against the wall, his curiosity peaked.

“Reason number 1: Finé attacked senpai. Senpai would have attacked her with every available weapon she had at her disposal. She did not. Additionally, that possibility requires Finé to be alive.”

“And she’s not!” Kirika reminded helpfully.

“Precisely.” Shirabe continued. “Reason number 2: _Ichaival_ was having its abilities suppressed in some way that does not involve ANTI-LiNKER.”

“And it wasn’t!” Kirika said once again, like a teacher’s pet.

“How do you conclude that?” Ogawa interrupted. “Preliminary examinations found no traces of it, but we are still waiting for Chris-san’s bloodwork. The wind would have carried off any remnants of the gas had it been there.” 

“Because if ANTI-LiNKER had been used senpai would be dead.” Shirabe said bluntly, stunning Ogawa.

“I’m sorry?”

“The Climax Song uses everything the Gear has at once! But we are supposed to channel it through our Armed Gears!” Kirika sat up on her knees, “Or else we go boom!” She made an explosion with her hands before returning to sketching.

“Kanade…” Ogawa remembered the perfect storm that had led to Kanade’s death from using her own Climax Song at the worst possible time.

“Precisely.” Shirabe said nodding proudly.

“But we have no way of knowing that Finé did not just use a new way of suppressing the abilities of _Ichaival_. She built the Gears, she can unbuild them just as well.”

“Reason Number 2 and 3 that we know it’s not Finé.” Shirabe said impatiently, glaring at Ogawa for his repeated interruptions. “Finé has no reason not to use ANTI-LiNKER on senpai.” Shirabe said logically. “Senpai dying would be the best case scenario for Finé. Senpai was the only person amongst all of us who saw Finé for what she really was, when no one else was around. She was a fellow conspirator, someone that Finé could unleash her frustration on. You do not pretend around a tool.” Shirabe said the last sentence with quiet anger, before blinking and continuing. 

“As for reason number 3: Finé built the original Symphogears. Since then, our Gears have been rebuilt three times. She could not repair Serena’s Gear after it was destroyed, nor could she rebuild the one destroyed after Kanade-san’s death. The Gears that Finé built, and that Elfnein rebuilt, are entirely different machines.”

But Ogawa was still stuck on point number 2. “But Finé has shown an attachment to Chris-san in the past. It’s possible that she decided not to use ANTI-LiNKER for that reason.”

“Wrong!” Kirika almost yelled from the floor, hands shaking as she held the marker. “Fourth reason! If she wanted to keep Senpai!” Kirika started to yell, then stopped. “We would have never found Senpai.” Kirika said in a small voice.

“You think Finé would have abducted Chris-san in secret?” Ogawa wondered, putting it together too slowly. It was the straw that broke Kirika’s back.

“Yes!” Kirika said angrily standing up, tears in her eyes. “Did the perp touch Chris-san?” She asked her voice raising an octave. Shirabe got down off the counter in concern. “Like Finé used too?”

“I see.” Ogawa said sadly. “The perpetrator did not, from Elfnein-san’s examinations, assault Chris-san in any way sexually.”

“That’s all the proof you need.” Kirika sniffled in anger. “She wouldn’t pass up the chance to. Just to remind Senpai of what she was to her.” Shirabe’s hand found hers, and Kirika’s breathing began to slow. 

“It’s okay Kiri-chan.” Shirabe whispered gently.

“No it’s not!” Kirika pulled away from Shirabe, standing face to chest with Ogawa. “Because you’re still asking questions that have been answered!” Kirika poked an accusatory finger against his chest. “We know it’s not Finé! Not because Senpai didn’t blow _Highton View Terrace_ to kingdom come, not because Finé had no reason not to use ANTI-LiNKER, not because she would not know how Elfnein-chan changed the Gears, and not because she didn’t assault Senpai!” 

Tears were falling down Kirika’s face. Shirabe looked as shocked as Ogawa did.

“Then how do we know?” Ogawa asked painfully. “I’m sorry Kirika-san, I want to understand, I do. But I don’t, so please. Help me understand.” He implored, his heartbreaking at the misery that filled Kirika’s eyes.

“Because Finé is dead. And Finé is dead because I killed her.” Her eyes were hauntingly old. It tore Ogawa’s soul in two. “And I told you, and the Commander, and everyone else before Senpai got attacked, and none of you listened to me.” She sniffled, laughing. “And you still don’t believe me. What’s going to happen to us tomorrow?”

Shirabe wrapped her arms around Kirika, who did not resist her embrace this time. Across the room, Maria snoored peacefully, ignorant of the display.

Ogawa stepped forward, leaning down on one knee before Kirika and Shirabe, bowing his head in disgrace. “You’re right.” He looked up at them, eyes made of steel meeting their shocked expressions. “You were right, and Chris-san paid the price for it.”

“Ogawa-san…” Shirabe started, but when he interrupted her, she did not mind.

“And if the Commander, or Tsubasa-san have issues with believing you, then I will make them believe you.” His voice was calm, his body still as a leaf.

It was terrifying to see him this angry. 

“I do not know what is going to happen tomorrow, but I swear to both of you that I will give my life before allowing what happened to Chris-san to happen to anyone else, including her.” He swore to both of them, once again bowing his head.

“We will figure it out, Inspector!” Shirabe said out of the blue, disrupting the awkward silence with a bombastic British accent.

Ogawa and Kirika stared at her with bug eyed expressions. Despite the blush on her cheeks, Shirabe continued. “Me and Holmes here would like to give our thanks to Scotland Yard for its assistance with the investigation!” Shirabe finished, sounding like a stuffed up British type, tightening her arm around Kirika’s shoulder.

“Shirabe, you’re supposed to be the serious one, not me.” Kirika said with a genuine smile, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Ms. Holmes, Dr. Watson.” Ogawa said, with an equally ridiculous British accent. “I assure you, Scotland Yard is honored to be in your service!”

“Wait,” Kirika started. “Why does Scotland Yard work with Sherlock Holmes?”

Shirabe looked at Kirika, “Because Sherlock Holmes lives in London, Kiri-chan.”

“Then why doesn't the London police help him then?”

Ogawa smiled, “Because Scotland Yard is the police of London.”

“DESS?”

~!~

“Thank you,” Miku said to the barista, taking the cup of hot chocolate from her and returning to the table Hibiki sat at. Two undercover SONG agents acted the part of civilians around them, the cold winds of the morning a much needed break from the previous nights tension. 

But they weren't going to talk about that right now.

“I got your favorite!” Miku said cheerfully, sliding the cup over to Hibiki’s hands.

“Thanks Miku.” Hibiki muttered, sipping the cup apathetically. 

Hibiki had been like this ever since Miku woke up from her power nap. Despondent, flat, borderline catatonic at times. Miku was fairly certain that Hibiki had yet to sleep since she woke her up at four in the morning the day of Chris’s concert.

“Hey Hibiki, when we get back, I think you should take a nap.” Miku said, hoping against hope that the hot chocolate would make Hibiki drowsy.

This was the normal answer that Miku had been getting all morning. Dead silence. It was enough to make Miku want to shake Hibiki. Shake her and tell her that everything was going to be okay, somehow.

“How could we have been that wrong Miku?” Hibiki whispered, “How could I have been so stupid?” The cup of cocoa was positively trembling in her hands. 

“Hibiki…” Miku started, but was distracted by her phone vibrating with a text message. Instantly checking it for a Chris update, she was both disappointed and regretful to see it be a message from Kioku.

_did chris stay over at ur place? shes not answering her door_

Miku ignored it, staring at her girlfriend with immeasurable patience. “Hibiki, listen.” She wrapped her hands around the cup, interlocking her fingers with Hibiki’s. “Chris never liked to bother other people with her problems. You know that. She talked with me about everything, but never Finé.” Miku said, wishing Hibiki would look her in the eyes. “We can’t beat ourselves up over things we didn’t know.”

“Two years, Miku…” Hibiki did look at her now, and Miku almost wished she didn’t. The energy and spark was long gone from Hibiki’s eyes, replaced with a crude bronze shade of despair. “Two years. While we went to school she…” Hibiki crumbled again, resting her hand against her face as she began to silently cry again. 

“And for three years she got to know us. Got to be with us, got to have friends and not have to be with her.” Miku said quietly, hoping not to be overheard. “And it’s up to us to give her even more years of that same kind of happiness. She deserves it, doesn't she?” Miku asked insistently, tightening her hands around Hibiki who sniffled.

“Yeah,” she wiped her nose with her sleeve, reluctantly breaking contact with Miku. “It just feels like a nightmare you know?” They locked eyes, Miku could feel Hibiki shaking the whole booth. “She escaped that horrible place, and then just wound up someplace worse.”’

“And she escaped there too. We helped her do that, Hibiki.” Miku said gently.

Hibiki was silent for a very long time. Long enough that her hot chocolate got cold, so Miku used the chance to text Kioku back.

_We all caught a cold after the concert! Staying over at our place to keep the sickness quarantined, have a good day!_

She hoped that would placate Kioku at the very least. She was a nice girl, but Miku knew from Chris that she had a lot of problems with her parents. Chris would never give any explicit details, but did mention that she no longer talked to them. Miku felt bad for her, and would have offered to hang out with her, but now she had no time whatsoever to do so.

“It should have been me.” Hibiki whispered.

Miku stared a hole through Hibiki, before slapping her across the face. 

“Don’t you say that.” Miku whispered furious. “Don’t you _ever_ say that.” She was leaning across the table now, Hibiki was looking straight at her, holding her face in shock. “Don’t you ever fucking say that Tachibana Hibiki.” Her voice was shaking, a rare kind of anger taking her over.

“Miku…”

“No. Listen to me.” Miku climbed over the table sitting next to Hibiki on her side of the booth. “It could have been you. It could have been me. Or Tsubasa-san.” Her ears were burning, she could feel the stares of the agents. “But it wasn’t. It was Chris. And what Finé did to her was unfucking forgivable, but she still did it. Chris did not deserve that, no one deserves that, and _you_ do not deserve that.” Her finger was poking Hibiki in the chest just above her scar. “Do you understand me?”

Hibiki looked shell shocked, still holding her face, so Miku continued. “I’m sorry about what happened last night Hibiki, I wish I was there to help you. But we have to deal with it now, because Chris is going to need us. Sitting here feeling sorry for yourself because you’re not psychic isn’t going to do anyone any favors, least of all Chris.” Miku said, reaching out a gentle hand to stroke Hibiki’s cheek. “So please, let’s help Chris, okay dummy?” Miku said reassuringly.

But Hibiki’s eyes were a thousand miles away, staring at the heart of darkness.

“It’s going to be me.” Hibiki whispered, barely audible.

Miku felt like her heart was going to stop.

“She’s obsessed. She got Chris. I’m next, she wanted it before. She even told me, before I understood.” Hibiki’s voice sounded a million miles away. “She’s going to find me, Miku. She’s going to find me and do what she did to Chris.” 

Hibiki was shaking so bad it was like her own miniature earthquake. It was all Miku could do to not vomit all over Hibiki right then and there at the thought of Finé assaulting Hibiki, and she had no idea what to say to make it better. There was nothing she could say to make it better.

She took Hibiki’s face in her hands and kissed her full on the lips, apathetic to all the other people who might see. Hibiki’s eyes refocused in shock, staring at Miku, turning into overwhelming want and kissing her back with reckless abandon. 

Miku kept her hands around her face, kissing her deeper than she ever had before dared. It was all she could do to remember to breathe with how Hibiki’s hands grabbed at the back of her head. She pulled away to breathe only when she started to see spots even with her eyes closed.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Hibiki. I won’t let her. I don’t care. I love you too much.” she pressed her forehead against Hibiki’s who was panting, the taste of hot chocolate still on her lips. “I’ll kill her. And if she comes back after that I’ll kill her again.” Miku’s eye caught the dented napkin container. “I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her away from you, from Chris, from us. I’ll make her regret everyday she ever lived, okay?” Miku didn’t even realize she was pushing Hibiki deeper into the booth, pinning her against the wall.

“Miku!” Hibiki gasped, kissing her again, recklessly slipping her tongue into her mouth to fight for dominance. It was a fight Hibiki was destined to lose, but she fought anyway, clinging to Miku in desperation. 

“No one is going to hurt you like that Hibiki. I don’t care what I have to do.”

Hibiki wrapped her arms fully around Miku, who at this point, was sitting entirely in her lap. “I’ll protect Chris. You protect me.” Hibiki whispered through kisses, flustered, but staring lovingly into Miku’s eyes. “I still owe you for that slap though.” She whispered, the first hint of a grin on her lips.

“Pay me back any day of the week.” Miku whispered, “Just don’t ever say something like that again okay?” Miku begged.

Hibiki did not blink from Miku’s pleading stare, smiling with renewed confidence. “Okay. We’ll protect Chris, everyone else, and each other, together.”

Their fingers interlocked, staring into eachothers eyes, when a barista cleared her throat behind them.

“Um, excuse me, but you can’t do that sort of thing here.”

Miku took Hibiki by the hand, out of the booth she and Chris shared earlier in the week. “We were just leaving.” She walked by a SONG agent “Pay our tab!” She barked in a way that would have made Chris proud.

As the two girls left, the SONG agent approached the barista apologizing as they square away the tab. Across the twenty four seats in the restaurant, there were twenty three aluminum napkin containers.

But in one booth, there was a single napkin container, dented, and shining in silver.

~!~

The monotonous beeping of Chris’s heartbeat monitor echoed in the nearly empty hospital room. The whirring of the breathing machines pumping into the girls lungs providing a conflicting rhythm of ambiance. 

Impossible to relax to. 

The hand around the handle of _Ame-no-Murokumo_ tightened as Tsubasa heard approaching footsteps coming down the hall. Just like before, they walked by Chris’s room without incident, and just like before Tsubasa’s hand relaxed around the blade.

The image of her kohai, violated, bound, and nude in the apartment laid beneath her eyelids. She would not allow herself the pleasure of forgetting her immense failure. She had intended to see Chris’s performance at the concert, a wonderful surprise to lead into the girls birthday. 

Now it wasn’t even certain if Chris would be awake for that birthday. 

There had been a selfish hope in Tsubasa, that Chris had been mistaken. That Chris had not seen Finé that day. That it was simply a matter of her being so stressed she was mistaken, seeing a phantom of her past. She had even taken a certain amount of childlike joy in patrolling the city streets at night with Maria and Ogawa. There was almost certainly no threat, and if there was a threat, it was certainly not Finé, and they would be able to handle it without fuss.

What a fucking joke.

Tsubasa took care to steady her breath. Keeping pace with the beat of Chris’s own oxygen machine. For as long as Chris was bound to that machine, Tsubasa would regulate herself to the same degree. As a punishment for her failure, it wasn’t even a slap on the wrist.

Tsubasa was reminded of her mother’s words when she was just a child. There was a massive typhoon approaching Japan, one of the biggest on record. The weather stations had gotten surveillance within the eye of the storm itself, and Tsubasa was so transfixed by the eerie calm scenery surrounded by the wall of pretty clouds.

_“Well ‘Basa you see the eye is what the storm centers around. It’s like when you pull the plug out of the bathtub and all the water runs out.”_

_“It’s so pretty!”_

_“It’s very pretty, but it’s also very dangerous.”_

_“Huh?”_

_“While the eye itself is calm ‘Basa, those pretty walls that surround it? That’s where the most dangerous parts of the storm are.”_

_“So the pretty part is past the scary part?”_

Her mother’s laughter was the best memory she had of her.

_“I suppose that’s a good way of putting it.”_

This was no place for smiles, but the memory gave Tsubasa reason to. It gave her the insight on what to do going forward for her kohai. So long as Chris was the Eye of the Storm, Tsubasa would be the apocalyptic winds that surrounded her.

Pretty part.

Scary part.

The footsteps were silent, but the person did nothing to mask their presence. Tsubasa opened her eyes to look at the doorway, relaxing her hand off the blade when Ogawa walked through the door, a smile in his eyes under the glasses.

“Tsubasa-san.”

“Ogawa.”

He held a brown paper bag under his arm, doling out a small togo container of ramen noodles and laying it next to where Tsubasa was seated. She had not moved from the spot since they had brought Chris into it, and would not to do so unless someone made a move towards her she disagreed with.

“It’s still hot. Shirabe-san’s finest home cooked delivery.” 

“This is not the time or place for smiles and jokes Ogawa.”

“I can think of no place laughter would be more welcome than a hospital room Tsubasa-san.” Ogawa countered cheerfully, but respectfully. “There is seriousness to spare, but joy is sparse.”

Tsubasa replied by eating her ramen. In spite of her militant attention, a sentinel who could not stand due to neglecting their body was far from a protector. Against her better judgement, the warm flood of noodles and broth was soothing to her foul mood.

“I have already eaten. I was able to discover something, I was hoping to maybe examine Chris-san’s hands.” He asked right after she had taken a large amount of noodles in her mouth.

Keeping her eyes trained on Ogawa, she gave him a simple nod, not blinking all the while.

“Thank you, Tsubasa-san.” He bowed politely, walking over to Chris’s bed.

Chris was wired up with various different tubes to sustain her while in the comatose state she was in. It was a state that Tsubasa and Ogawa were both intimately familiar with, following Tsubasa’s attempt to use her Climax Song to kill Chris the night they first met. Seeing it from the outsider’s perspective brought hot shame over Tsubasa that she refused to acknowledge, lest it distract her from her duty. Tsubasa would be there when they removed the bandages from Chris’s face, regardless of if she was awake for it or not.

Yet her eyes were focused on Ogawa. He was careful to mind the IV in the back of Chris’s hand, gently examining her fingers and palm. She was quick to catch his disinterest in examining Chris’s wrists, where the wires had cut into the most, he was far too preoccupied with her hands. 

“I was afraid of this.” Ogawa said to himself, but Tsubasa knew him well enough to see the bait of conversation he had planted.

“Explain.” She said clearly, setting down the finished container of ramen.

He took off his glasses. “Preliminary examinations by myself and the forensics team have determined that Chris appeared to be alone in the apartments.” She narrowed his eyes at him, but did not interrupt. “Additionally, we were able to determine that all of Chris-san’s maneuvers were offensively lined.” She noticed the care he took to deliver that last bit of intel.

“What do you mean? She did not try to defend herself?”

His lips turned up in a curious grin, “You are ahead of the game a bit. If I may go sequentially, I think Chris-san only used offensive capabilities not out of a lack of self preservation, but out of a lack of necessity.” Once again, he waited for her to interrupt, which she did not. “She attacked, whoever she was attacking did not return her offense.” His grin faded. “She wasn’t fighting them, she was chasing them.”

“Into a trap.” Tsubasa completed his thought for him, nodding to herself. “Finé did not trust herself to best Yukine in a contest, so she led her to a trap instead.”

Ogawa’s smile was patient, but pained. “That was my inclination as well.” He picked the brown paper bag up. “And I believe that is exactly their intent.”

“Their? You think this was the action of more than one individual?”

“Certainly more probable then it being the actions of Finé.” He did not flinch away from her piercing gaze.

“Explain.”

“Finé and Chris-san have a special relationship. One built on condepency, abuse of trust, and molestation.” Tsubasa flinched at his matter of fact proclamations. “When Chris-san was no longer useful to her ends, she was deemed expendable. Much has changed in the time since then, and Finé no longer outclasses SONG in power or influence.” His eyes did not hold a smile anymore. “ _Ichaival_ would have been an invaluable weapon to have, and Chris-san a perfect bargaining chip.”

Tsubasa had to restrain herself from lashing out at the concept of Chris being a bargaining chip. “I am failing to see how this absolves Finé of participation.”

“Finé’s death absolves Finé’s participation in this. Our focus on that is the intent of whoever did this to Chris-san. We are, to put it simply, doing exactly what they want us to.” He said it with authority that she disliked greatly.

“You say that as if it is an objective fact.”

“Tsubasa-san.” His voice was curt now. “Your desire to protect Chris-san and avenge the transgressions that transpired against her while she was Finé’s captive is clouding your judgement, as it clouded mine. Free it from your mind. Once you do, a clearer picture will present itself.”

The walls of the typhoon began to close in around the eye, winds swirling in beautiful fury.

“Do _not_ presume to know what I am thinking in regards to Yukine.”

She said it once.

She would not say it again.

Ogawa’s face was unreadable. “Then widen your focus. Finé may have betrayed all those she worked with, but she did work with others.” He reached into the brown paper bag, pulling out a ziplock bag that held a cellphone in it. “This phone was found in the same park you and Hibiki-san fought Chris-san. It is registered to Chris, and through it, the call that alerted the police to the disturbance at _Highton View Terrace_ was made.” He tossed the phone at her and she instinctively caught it, almost forgetting her burning rage.

“She wanted us to find her?”

“Alive.” Ogawa stated. “This was not a kidnapping attempt, this was not an assasination attempt. This was a display of power.” He walked towards Tsubasa with intent. “Whatever the next stage of the plan is, regardless of it’s Finé or someone else’s, Chris-san being alive is an integral part of that plan.” He was close to her now, his eyes trying to parse understanding to her.

“You said I was ahead of the game before. What did you mean?”

“Come here, look at her hands.” Ogawa gestured her forward, but Tsubasa went around to the otherside of the bed, putting herself between Ogawa and the machines that kept Chris alive.

”What about them?” Chris’s hands felt so small in hers, so fragile, so lifeless.

Rather than investigate Chris’s free hand, Ogawa took out the cords that had restrained Chris in the apartment. “These chords belong to Chris-san’s violin. We found it destroyed on the balcony.”

“She loved that violin.” Tsubasa said automatically. It was like someone had come in and let out the air in her balloon. Something Chris treasured was gone now.

“Yes, She did,” Ogawa said patiently. “However, these cords? They have no other finger prints on them. Only Chris-san’s. In addition,” He gestured at the hand that Tsubasa now held in both of hers. “You may notice that there are no defensive wounds on her hands.”

Just like that, the balloon was full again.

“Are you suggesting that Yukine _crucified_ herself?” Tsubasa said, reluctantly letting go of Chris’s hands and rounding the bed on Ogawa.

“It is not a line of inquiry I wish to be correct on, but it is not outside the realm of possibility.” He said evenly, not flinching at her scoffs.

“You think that Finé’s involvement is nonexistent, and that Yukine instead did this to herself, and that someone tried to warn us of this?” Tsubasa turned away from him, beginning to seeth in her own rage again.

“I didn’t think any of this until we got her blood work back.” Ogawa said defiantly. 

She slowly turned round on him, “What?”

He gestured to the bedbound Chris, his hands hovering just above her wrists. “The blood that came from the lacerations on her wrists is older than the blood that came as a result of her Climax Song.”

Tsubasa stared at him, bug eyed in shock. “She...deliberately bound herself?”

“The cords were from her violin. That duct tape you could buy anywhere, and there’s a rosebush in her apartment complex’s garden.” Ogawa said in a dejected sigh. “I do not think that Chris-san did this of her own free will. Coercion, exploitation, while possible, I think are unlikely, however…”

“Millaarc.” Tsubasa said, looking at Chris.

“There were multiple shrapnel fragments in the apartment where she was found.” Ogawa continued softly.

“Armor purge.” The storm was swelling, growing increasingly unstable.

“I agree.” Ogawa seemed to pause, choosing his words. “If I had to guess the order of events as they transpired: Chris-san encountered the individual and pursued them aggressively into a trap. As a result of some kind of mental manipulation, she willingly bound herself. Then, possibly as part of the assailant’s plan, or Chris-san’s unwillingness to be part of a trap, used her Climax Song to kill them. When that failed she used her armor purge ability, perhaps to cut the chords.”

“There was no damage from the Climax Song.” Tsubasa muttered, looking at Ogawa now. “Was there? Was there any damage from her Climax Song?” Tsubasa’s eyes raced from Ogawa to Chris. “And why was there not more damage?” She hated the look of confusion on Ogawa’s face.

“I am not certain. I do not have an answer for that, but whoever is doing this has a way of nullifying the abilities of _Ichaival._ ”

“But not armor purge?” Tsubasa wondered, and Ogawa’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Not armor purge…” He trailed off, brain working into overdrive. “The damage done to the apartment was not on the levels typical of _Ichaival,_ but there was damage done.”

“Damage reduction?”

“And if Chris’s Climax Song cleared it out, that’s why armor purge damaged the room, when the Climax Song did not.” He looked Tsubasa in the eye, a grin almost on his face again. “They did leave evidence behind.”

“Could alchemy have done this?” Tsubasa wondered, pacing now.

“We will ask Elfnein-san when she reawakens. But this is an answer we did not have before.” He smiled at her now, “We are figuring this out, Tsubasa.”

She almost smiled back.

Almost.

“Ogawa Shinji, where do your loyalties lie?” She asked suddenly, her back to him now.

“I do not understand the question.” His words did not carry hostility. 

“What don’t you understand about the question?” She said as she walked over and sat where she had been sitting prior, becoming a sentinel once more.

“My loyalties are to Kazanari Tsubasa, the Kazanari Organization, to SONG, my friends, colleagues and family.” He bowed to her. “That is where my loyalties lie Tsubasa-san.”

“You are loyal to me over the needs of SONG?” Tsubasa asked calmly. She wondered if Ogawa knew his answer would determine whether or not the storm made landfall.

“Yes I am.” 

Tsubasa closed her eyes. The eye of the storm was calm, even if the walls around were a maelstrom of chaos. “I am asking you to conduct an independent investigation on my behalf.”

“Who will I be investigating?” His words were not the words of the Ogawa that she knew would follow her order unquestionably. He was defying her. “Will I be making any acceptions?” He asked, taking out his trusty notepad.

“Everyone and anyone even remotely involved with Yukine’s life.” Tsubasa ordered. The will of the Kazanari family was strong in her blood. “Friends, family, teachers, students. I want nobody in her life to be given a cursory glance. I want each and every one of them thoroughly investigated until their involvement in this matter is verified to be impossible.”

“So you agree that we should not suspect Finé?”

“I suspect that someone has been able to track Yukine down without us being aware of it.” Tsubasa said hotly, “Anyone, and everyone, is a suspect. We cannot rule them out, just as we cannot rule out Finé.”

“And this includes your fellow Adaptors?” Ogawa said, no longer writing anything down.

Tsubasa opened her eyes, staring down her manager with all the will and power of the world's most dangerous typhoon.

“Yes.”

Ogawa did not blink, seeing clear skies in the eye of the storm he set sail.

“And what would you like me to do, should I find the culprit behind this?” He asked, setting the notepad down on Chris’s bedside table.

“Take the necessary measures to ensure Yukine’s safety.”

“And should I utilize that same brand of necessary measures should it turn out to be one of your fellow Adaptors?”

“If you do not feel you can undertake the necessary measures to ensure Yukine’s protection, then alert me of the culprit, and I will take care of it myself.” She had fought everyone one of her fellow Adaptors, she knew how to bring them down. Peacefully, and lethally.

She prayed her hand would not be forced to the latter.

“And what if you are the one putting us all at risk again?” Ogawa said hotly. “What if you are the one being manipulated to jeopardize the safety of Chris-san?” His eyes were like bullets, staring right through her.

She answered with a smirk that would make her grandfather proud, “Then I expect you to take the necessary measures to ensure Yukine’s protection.”

“No.”

There was no pause. No argument. No compromise.

Tsubasa closed her eyes in disappointment. “So I see your loyalties extend beyond me.”

“No.”

There was anger in his voice, and she realized too late that he was all but running at her when his hands grabbed her shoulders and stood her up. Her sword, the proof of her status as Head of the Kazanari clan was nearly drawn before she saw the look in his eyes.

There was anger, there was sadness, but most of all there was intense, undeniable regret.

It was like looking into a mirror.

“My loyalties lie to Kazanari Tsubasa. I have been your ally, your soldier, your butler, your maid, your plumber, your cook, your manager, your agent, your assassin, and most of all your friend.” His voice was shaking, the grip on her arms ironclad. “I will kill for you, I will die for you, I will do what you ask, regardless of how it inconveniences me.” His voice was pained with emotion. “But if you think that I will so happily take you or your friends’ lives’ because you think it will make Chris-san safer, then you are an idiot!” 

She had never heard Ogawa shout before.

“Please let go of me.”

She felt small in his arms, as if she was a small child, being reprimanded for spilling milk. Ogawa had only ever put his hands on her like that once before, the last time he did was shortly after Kanade’s death. He let her go, Tsubasa not meeting his eyes as she looked downcast.

The floor was suddenly very interesting.

“Yukine could have died. If we were minutes later…”

“She’s alive because of you.”

Tsubasa looked up past Ogawa at Chris. She seemed so alien, so fragile. It’d be so easy to just go over and unplug everything and just watch as one of the brightest stars the world ever knew faded away.

“What if she is like this because of me?”

“Then she’ll kick your ass until you’re thinking straight again.” Ogawa said softly.

It wasn’t just Chris on the bed anymore. It was Maria laying against the tree, it was Kirika singing to save Hibiki and Saint Germain, it was Shirabe getting hit with _Igalima_ , it was Miku exploding in the tower, it was Hibiki fusing with _Gungnir_ , it was Chris blocking _Kadingir_.

It was Kanade.

She stifled a sob that threatened to escape her. She could not afford to crumble now. She might not be able to put herself back together again.

“Tsubasa-san.” Ogawa put his hand on her shoulder, gently this time. “You need rest.”

Tsubasa bit her lip, not trusting her own voice, unable to tear her gaze away from the weird alien mess of wires and tubes that was Chris.

“You have every right to be suspicious. Nothing about this makes sense, and it’s very possible one of us is being used. I promise you, I will investigate every member of SONG, every teacher she’s ever had, every noodle cart attendant she ever ordered from. Tomorrow. After you get some sleep, and can resume watching over her.” He said with a voice as soft as a bird's feathers, “Okay?”

Tsubasa smiled for the first time since the concert. “Is this an order?”

“Yes.” He smiled and pulled out another togo cup of noodles.“No going to bed on an empty stomach.” His own stomach growled, causing them both to giggle. “Speaking of, I’m going to go get myself some food while I keep watch.” He said with a wink, before bowing out of the room.

She hated that about him sometimes. The way he always seemed to understand what she needed more than she did.

But she did want this private time with Chris.

Cup of noodles in her hand, she sat on the railing of bed beside Chris, watching silently for several minutes. The storm was clearing up.

“Hey.” She said softly, “Ogawa-san will be watching over you. Don’t go too easy on him.” She took Chris’s hand, putting it against the warm side of the cup. “I know it’s scary, being under like this.” Tsubasa remembered it too well. The day her perfect attendance record was shattered. The memory of that mundane concern made her laugh. “But when you come back, I promise, we will all be here.” She got up, beginning to collect her things, an undeniable ache for sleep clawing at every inch of her.

“Oh,” She remembered with a smile. “And one more thing.”

She hoped against hope that Chris could hear her.

“We know for certain that it is absolutely not Finé.”

~!~

Maria hummed happily under the hot embrace of the shower. The hot water seemed to just melt away all the tensions and sores in her body that she had been long neglecting. Bending over and stretching her arms over her head, she could not help but let out a long satisfied moan as the water soaked into her hair and down her face and chest.

Spending the better part of an hour in the shower, Maria came out of it feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and immensely turned on. Grabbing her robe off the hook, she let herself have a very generous amount of cleavage on full display as she regrettably left the shower room.

Strutting down the halls of HQ, she strolled right into Chris’s room.

“Maria?” Tsubasa looked up, surprised.

“Yo!” Maria flashed her the peace sign with a cheeky grin, before pulling out her handgun and shooting Tsubasa in the face. The back of her head exploded in a violent red display against the wall as the sentinel fell over dead, Maria dropping the gun right next to her. “Sayonara!” 

Turning to see Chris on the bed, she drank the sight of her in. “Oh Chris, what did they do to you?” She cast off her robe and jumped onto bed with her. “You’re so cute Chris,” She let her fingers trail down the girls neck, “Let’s get back to where we left off.” 

“ _NO!”_ Maria screamed, shooting awake in the empty recreation room. Heart pounding in her ears, she looked around the room, seeing nothing but papers strewn all around the floor. Clutching _Airgetlám_ close, she felt her stomach surge, and she sprinted for the nearest trash can, spewing into it with a broken sob.

She couldn’t look at her own mess, she could feel herself shaking, and the noise of Shirabe and Kirika returning littered the hallways. She made a break for the bathroom, charging past the two girls.

“Maria! Don’t forget to take your shower!”

Maria barged into the bathroom stall, puking the rest of her stomach out all over the toilet. She puked until she had nothing but bile left to spit up, and even then, she dry heaved until it felt like her ribs would break. 

“It was just a dream, it was just a dream, it was just a dream.” Maria said shivering against the toilet.

Barely standing under her own power, she stumbled to the sink and turned on the water. Filling the basin to the brim, she filled her mouth, spitting it out into the adjacent sink, before splashing some water on her face, trying to control her unstoppable shaking.

“Get your shit together. You have to be strong.” Maria whispered to herself, before looking up into her reflection’s golden eyes.

 _“FUCK YOU!”_ She screamed in shock, shattering the bathroom mirror with her fist. Backing up into the stall once more, blood pouring from her fingers.

“No...please no...oh god please no.”


	5. 15:35:16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge apologies for how long this took! Finally I have a laptop now! So writing should be significantly easier for now on.
> 
> Heads up for pretty horrific imagery this chapter, there's some gnarly shit here.
> 
> And a huge thanks as always to solopy567 for helping me get this chapter out in a way that looks good and reads well <3
> 
> Here we go~

_It was void._

_No light. No dark. No gray._

_Just...nothing._

_Drifting through it all, it was easy to feel like nothing._

_A meaningless blip._

_She noticed the horrible beeping from the machine next to her before she noticed the people above her. Her eyes hurt, and they all looked so fuzzy…_

_She's in a hospital room._

_That much she could tell._

_There’s that beeping again._

_Someone is saying something. It sounds like a man talking to a woman._

_They sound angry._

_Someone is shouting._

_It’s not her._

_Is it at her?_

_It's definitely about her._

_Void._

_She can hear her name being called._

_The beeping is rapid._

_Someone is slapping her._

“ _Can you hear us?”_

_Why is somebody screaming that at her? How could she not hear them?_

_The beeping is slowing._

_The void is coming to her even when she’s awake._

_It’s like a bath._

_If you weren’t careful._

_It’d be really easy just to fall asleep and slip right under the surface._

_They were putting some adhesive stuff on her chest._

_The beeping was getting slower._

_The bath really is warm._

“ _Clear!”_

_Her body jerks outside of her own control._

“ _What’s happening to her?”_

_Miku’s voice._

“ _Get her out of here!”_

_And just like that she’s gone._

_The beeping is back._

_She hates it more than anything._

_She wants the bath to come back._

_And just let her slip under the surface._

_But the beeping won’t let her sleep._

_Nor will the pain in her chest. The pain that keeps burning and digging inside of her. In her heart, in her lungs, in her soul. She can feel it, searing holes inside of her and wrapping around her like an angry rosebush._

_And she remembered what Kanade said to her._

“ _Give up on life!”_

_No…_

“ _Hibiki…” Miku’s lips are whispering against hers, under shooting stars. There’s sadness on her lips. “If I love you will you forgive me?”_

_The beeping is faster._

_There are wires and needles sticking out of her arms. They are pumping LiNKER into her._

_That was when she saw Chris._

_She’s wearing a face mask, a stethoscope, and nothing else._

“ _Well Ms. Tachibana, I have your official diagnosis. It looks like you’re a fucking murderer!” She said with delight._

_Hibiki wanted to scream._

_But she couldn’t._

_There was a tube in her throat. And the tube led up to an arm that was attached to Miku whose red eyes smiled maddeningly down at her._

“ _It’s okay Hibiki! I’ll always love you!” Miku’s mouth was moving, but she heard Kanade’s voice come out of it. “I have to!” She had a Zwei Wing shirt on._

_Hibiki screamed through the tube in her mouth, the beeping was no longer beeping, but instead it was Tsubasa screaming._

“ _It’s all right. Everything is just fine.” She could see her father above her now, stroking her hair with one hand and bringing a glass of sake to his lips. “By the way Hibiki, can you pay my bill?”_

_Chris’s hands slammed down next to Hibiki’s head, “‘Chris-chan! Chris-chan! What do you mean she useeeeeeeeeeed you?’” Chris cooed mockingly in her ear. “I mean she fucked me idiot!”_

_The needles in her arms were growing longer, the tubes were expanding, pumping her with more LiNKER._

“ _Hibiki!” Miku’s voice was her own now, smiling down at her with that same crazed look. “Believe in the song in your heart!” She said reassuringly, before plunging her hand into Hibiki’s chest._

“ _Believe in the song in your heart!” Chris got up on the hospital bed railing, shoving her hand into Hibiki’s chest as well._

“ _Believe in the song in your heart.” Her father said, pushing his thumbs into her ear drums._

“ _BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART!”_

_The words bounced off the hospital words as she wailed through her breathing tube. Chris and Miku’s hands brought up tuffs of red hair from her chest. An endless stream of red hair poured out of her open chest as Kanade’s eyeless head emerged from it._

“ _I AM THE SONG IN YOUR HEART. BELIEVE IN ME! BELIEVE IN THE SONG IN YOUR HEART!”_

_Hibiki screams echo in the apartment. Her own voice shocked her. Her wrists are bound by wire and her feet by duct tape. She is crucified, the December winds brutalizing her naked body._

_There is another person in the room._

_She has brown hair, violet eyes and pink glasses._

“ _Aw you’re so cute. Time to make you mine before someone else gets to you.”_

~!~

Miku collapsed against the snow bank, her headband full of sweat. Her legs felt like wobbly noodles, thankful that they had a chance to bathe in the soothing balm that was the snow now that the mad workout was over. She reached up and clicked the timer on her watch, panting, feeling a horrible stitch in her side start to form. She winced as she stood up once again, walking on her rubbery legs to work out the ache in her side.

The crisp afternoon air could make for a very harsh run, but Miku was not about to let the weather get in the way of her goal. She had been training for the past several months to get herself back up to the physical condition she was in in her track prime. She had wanted to be able to be ready for when and if danger that they had to face came again. They had enjoyed months of peace, but thanks to Finé that was gone now. Her Gear was operational, but only if they plugged it back into her brain, turning her into a computer. Thankfully, it was still functional as a _Faust Robe,_ albeit, it would never reach the power that it would in Gear form. 

Miku almost felt like that was a metaphor for her and the rest of the Adapters. No matter what she did, she would never have their experience, their ability, and their coordination. Hell, her Gear actively harmed theirs, so what could she hope to do? How could she hope to catch up? No matter what she did, she’d be behind them, staring at their backs as they sprinted into danger.

Miku shook her head, bending over and putting her head between her knees to sooth the pounding in her ears. She had sprinted her ass off for the 5K workout, and her body was feeling it. She had set a goal for herself this week: to beat her old school PR of 18:35, and if she could do that, she could consider this week a success.

Even though she would not be quick to admit it to herself, she needed the boost in confidence. She already felt immensely guilty about skipping her last period piano class, lying to the teacher about not feeling well so she could get this workout in without the distraction of Hibiki. Genjuro had said as much, and while she hated to admit it, Hibiki was a very big distraction whenever she excercised. As much as she loved playing the piano, training her body had taken an incredible rise in priority in light of recent events.

Miku’s fellow adapters were no longer sprinting towards danger, but danger was sprinting to them as well, and Miku knew that she needed to be able to keep up. Push was coming to shove, and she needed to be able to plant her feet and stand alongside her fellow Valkyries. She could waste time beating herself up about being a damsel on the sidelines for three years while her friends were in danger, but she was past that experience now. She was going to face the danger along the way, side by side, hands intertwined with those she treasured most.

Today's activity also had another beneficial aspect to it: Exhaustion. Miku had been losing sleep like mad lately, her dreams constantly beset by nightmares of impossibilities. She tried not to fret Hibiki with it, but one could only go on 10 hours of sleep a week for so long. Running a 5K at a full tilt sprint however? That was a good ass way to make sure that she was gonna sleep like a brick that night, and take care of lot of the inner frustrations that were becoming impossible to deny.

Miku sat on a bench, pulling her headband off and letting her sweaty hair fall down around her face. The stitch in her side had begun to ease, even if the ache she had for Hibiki was still as bad as it had ever been. As much as Miku loved running, she wished it was Hibiki who was the one that gave her such a workout that it made her sleep like a coma patient. 

She felt bad for that train of thought in light of Chris’s recent condition.

After they had begun their relationship, the jokes had been endless. Almost all of which had been from Maria, in regards to how they were likely sharing a bunk now that they were a couple. Miku wished that Hibiki did not share that they had always been sharing a bunk even before they were out to each other, even if the look on Maria’s face was priceless. Truth be told, despite the intensity of their feelings, Miku genuinely felt that her and Hibiki had a fairly normal sex life. Miku trusted Hibiki more than anyone, and even though she had spent endless nights thinking about it, it was a while before they ended up doing it. 

The memory made Miku smile.

They had been nervous, giggling like idiots, and both taking it far too slow for the others liking. But the way that they had made each other feel that night felt exactly like what the words “making love” were invented for. Not that Miku would ever tell anyone but Hibiki that. Miku might be what Chris would call a “total sap” when it came to romance, but that did not stop her from appreciating how _normal_ her and Hibiki’s relationship was.

_Chris. Wake up soon. You still owe me a concert._

Miku hoped that Chris did not read her requests to hear her songs as romantically inclined. Miku and Hibiki knew that Chris was nursing a pretty severe crush on Miku, and while she did love her deeply, Miku found herself incapable of imagining herself with anyone other than Hibiki. Not that Chris had ever made any kind of moves on her or anything, Miku was not even sure if Chris knew _how_ to do that.

And that just made her think of Finé.

Miku had first hand experience of both Ryuoko and Finé. They were as different as baseball and hockey.

Ryuoko was a kind, if eccentric woman, who seemed eager to teach them on how to enter womanhood. Finé was a sadist, and the way she struck her down within Section 2 scared Miku more than the Noise ever did. She was not in the hands of a woman, she was in the hands of a killer at that point

Chris had spoken about her during their brief stay at _Flower_ in a way that reminded Miku of how she felt about Hibiki. It disturbed her. Chris called Finé a friend, but there was clearly more there. At the time Miku thought that Chris was infatuated with the woman she spoke with equal parts reverence and condemnation.

Miku knew the truth now, and the reality of the situation that presented itself before them. She knew how much Kirika and Shirabe denied it, how paranoid it made Tsubasa, and how terrified it made Hibiki. She tried to not let Maria’s lack of reaction bother her too much, but she did find herself wondering if Maria was hiding her true feelings on the matter from the team, or from herself.

_It’s going to be me._

_I’ll kill her._

Miku shook the memory of the previous day's conversation away. It was all too much, all at once, and she did not have it in her to think on the matter of taking another human being's life. It scared her. Her own words. She said them before with such conviction, such certainty, that even she believed it. Would it be that easy? To kill somebody?

_Coward. As if killing is alien to you._

She closed her eyes tight against the thought, banishing that dangerous line of thinking from her brain.

It was like Hibiki said. 

Everything is Alright.

Everything is Just Fine.

Sighing, Miku realized that she had yet to actually check her new time. The adrenaline and energy wearing off from the daunting workout and the winter air were starting to get to her long bare legs. Checking her watch, she was thankful to be standing, eyes widening in absolute shock at the number.

_15:35:16_

“That’s not right…” Miku laughed aloud, hitting the detail button on her smart watch. She checked every setting she could, every display, every possible increment of time that could be measured, or possible error there could be, and it was all the same result.

Five kilometers in fifteen minutes, and thirty five seconds.

Suffice to say, she had definitely set a new PR.

“Guess I’ll get myself a new watch for Christmas.” Miku thought out loud, disappointed. She had this watch since she was in track before _Lydian_. She knew she’d have to replace it eventually, but it breaking down was sad, like something of her childhood was being lost.

_“I can’t believe that murderer came to school again.”_

_“Aren’t you scared she’ll kill you if you go near her? She might have one of her terrorist friends sic the Noise on you!”_

_“I don’t care. She killed my cousin.”_

_“No she didn’t.” Miku said, slamming her locker, looking at her teammates furiously._

_“Are you taking that murderer's side AGAIN, Kohinata?!”_

_“Leave her alone.” Miku’s words trembled out of her mouth. Her older teammate approached her, looking furious. “Please.” She begged, shaking like a leaf. If anything, how small and scared she looked seemed to calm the older girl, who just looked at her with nothing short of disgust._

_“Whatever.”_

Miku took the watch off and stuck it in her bag. Maybe she’d get herself a new high tech watch for Christmas. That is if her parents didn’t get her one…

All of a sudden, the air outside felt a lot colder.

The last time she talked to her parents was for her birthday. She didn't even go to see them for it, by no fault of their own, as it was...hers. She loved her mom and dad, but she also loved Hibiki, and the anxiety over how they would react to their relationship had been….paralzying to say the least.

Neither one of them knew how their parents would take it. Maybe they would be accepting, maybe they’d be shocked, maybe they'd react like they knew it was only a matter of time. The problem was neither of them knew. And as much as neither of them wanted to admit it, they were afraid to tell their parents about it. They had planned to go home for Christmas, since it fell on a Sunday this year, but that quickly was dashed in light of recent events. Something that Miku was shamefully glad for.

Taking out her phone, her heart sank.

_Six Missed Calls-Hibiki_

_No…_

Before she could even call back, her phone rang.

“Hibiki! What’s wrong?” She shouted into the phone, cursing the fact that she lacked her Robe.

“Hina?”

“Kuriyo-chan?” Miku asked incredulously. “Is Hibiki with you? Is something going on at _Lydian?_ ” Her voice must have sounded shrill and panicked. 

Most likely because it was shrill and panicked.

“She’s with Yumi. Everything’s okay, Hina.” Kuriyo’s voice was gentle and reassuring.

Miku took a deep breath, feeling suddenly light headed at the adrenaline spike, steadying herself against a nearby tree. “Kuriyo. Tell me what happened.”

“It’s nothing serious. Bikki had a nightmare in class.” Kuriyo tried to say smoothly, failing spectacularly. “I tried to wake her up and must have spooked her, cause she socked me good.” Nervous laughter polluted Miku’s ears. “It was just her reacting of course, but she felt really bad.”

“Is she okay?”

Miku knew Hibiki well enough to know that she was probably internally destroying herself for hurting Kuriyo like that. Beating herself up like her own personal punching bag while wearing a smile on the outside for everyone to see.

“She’s with Yumi, we were all thinking about going to the mall. Bikki’s doing that Bikki thing.” Kuriyo sounded genuinely remorseful. “I just don’t want her to think I'm mad at her or anything, we thought we’d get you and all go to the mall and hang out.” There was a wounded honesty in Kuriyo’s voice, the sound of a neglected friendship.

_So Hibiki’s falling into bad habits again..._

“Can you give me a second, Kuriyo?” Miku asked, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Sure ‘Hina. Take your time.”

Miku walked to the center of the park, where Chris had played her _Hell in Val Verde_. The bench was cold, but the memory of the sound of Chris’s performance calmed the noise in Miku’ brain.

She never told Kuriyo how much she appreciated the nicknames that she gave her and Hibiki. They had all met on the first day Miku and Hibiki attended _Lydian,_ and right away they gave Hibiki a better school experience than Hibiki had had in the better part of two years.

~!~

“ _Hibiki! You shouldn’t sleep through assemblies!” Miku admonished her soon to be roommate._

“ _I wasn’t sleeping! I was listening with my eyes closed!” Hibiki said, cheekily grinning._

“ _You were listening to Kazanari Tsubasa’s songs, that's what you were doing.” A girl with blonde hair and honey brown eyes said from their side, making both girls jump._

“ _How’d you know that?” Hibiki exclaimed in shock, before nervously looking over at Miku._

_Miku had scrunched up her face in displeasure, crossing her arms at the girl. “Hibiki! Bad!” Miku started, pointing her finger at Hibiki before a new girl laughingly draped her arm over Hibiki._

“ _Awww! Don’t be mean to the ‘Bikki! I fell asleep too!” This girl had short tomboyish hair that looked beige, wearing a sly grin._

“ _Ahhh!” Hibiki immediately pulled out of her grasp, jumping to Miku’s side who instantly put herself between Hibiki and the two girls. “Miku I-”_

“ _Leave her alone.” Miku said in a voice that sounded older then it was, but to her surprise, both girls looked instantly apologetic._

“ _Aw jeez, I’m sorry!” The tomboy said, scratching the back of her head. “I wasn’t trying to make fun of you.” She sounded genuinely remorseful._

“ _I like Tsubasa too.” The blonde added, smiling kindly at them, but pointedly to Hibiki. “I’m Terashima Shiori, I sat next to you during the assembly.” She offered peacefully._

_Miku kept herself between them and Hibiki, looking down at her friend who still looked suspicious. Miku had made herself a private promise, to not let anyone treat Hibiki like their old classmates had treated her. As for first impressions, this one was not looking good._

“ _I’m Ando Kuriyo. Is it okay if I call you Bikki?” She asked, looking past Miku at Hibiki._

_For a moment, Kuriyo and Miku’s eyes met, but Miku stepped to the side when she felt Hibiki’s hand on her shoulder. “Yeah,” Hibiki said, “It’s okay.” She was smiling now, her hand shaking on Miku’s shoulder. “Tsubasa’s music is so good! I hope to get to meet her here someday!”_

_Shiori’s eyes lit up, “She’s magnificent! I saw her at the assembly, I think! Have you ever got to go to a concert of hers?”_

_Hibiki’s fingernails dug into Miku’s shoulders in pure fear. She could feel her friend freeze up, beginning to stutter out a reply, when suddenly Kuriyo spoke up._

“ _Hey. What’s wrong with that girl?” Kuriyo pointed behind Hibiki and Miku, but her eyes caught Miku’s, a silent understanding in them._

_Maybe these girls weren't so bad._

“ _Oh no…” Hibiki’s voice said, her moment of panic interrupted by Kuriyo’s word, hand leaving Miku’s shoulder as she jogged across the campus square to where the pig tailed brunette girl sat, crying her eyes out._

_The other three instantly followed, Miku looking at Kuriyo and whispering, “Thank you.”_

“ _For what?” Kuriyo said with a wink._

_Together they caught up with Hibiki, who had her hand on the crying girl's shoulder, who was in the midst of a blubbering breakdown. “And my parents aren’t here! And there was a mix up with my dorm room! And they don’t know where to put me! I just wanna sleep in a bed!” The girl said between deep breaths, draping her head back and sobbing out to the sky._

_Miku saw the girl was surrounded by suitcases and unpacked boxes. A few school officials with awkward expressions on their faces talking with each other, obviously trying to figure something out._

“ _It’s all right. Everything is just fine.” Hibiki said, hugging the pig tailed girl to her close. “You can stay with me and Miku until your parents get back!” Hibiki said helpfully, turning to Miku. “We’ll just share the top bunk, that way you can have the bottom bunk!”_

“ _Me and Kuriyo will come over and we will have a big sleepover!” Shiori said, placing her hand on the girl’s knee reassuringly. “What’s your name?”_

“ _Itaba Yumi.”_

_Kuriyo leaned down, ruffling Yumi’s hair. “Wait right there. Shiori, can you come here?” Kuriyo jerked her head towards the teachers._

“ _Sure.” Shiori said, walking with her._

_Miku resented them for that, looking at the still sniffling girl surrounded by her heaps of luggage. She felt bad for her, but in a way, weirdly thankful, to see Hibiki acting so forward to someone she hardly even knew._

“ _I’m Tachibana Hibiki, but you can call me Hibiki!” Her sun flower said to the crying girl helpfully._

“ _My name is Itaba Yumi.” She sniffled, “But you can call me Yumi.”_

“ _You already told us that, silly!” Hibiki said playfully punching her arm, making Yumi blush in response._

“ _I’m Kohinata Miku.” Miku said feeling awkward, sitting on one of the boxes. “Is it too late to call your parents?” Miku asked, trying to be helpful._

“ _They are already back in Kyoto.” She sniffled again. “The people said they’d have all the stuff moved in by the time the assembly was over.” She sniffled some more, beginning to tear up, when Hibiki grabbed her hand._

“ _No matter what. We will be your classmates!”_

“ _And we’ll be your roommates!” Kuriyo’s confident voice said from behind Miku, shocking her. “I talked to them.” She said, jerking her thumb back to the teachers. “And they said it’d be Ay-O-Kay!”_

“ _Me and Kuriyo have a deluxe room. We were going to use the extra bunk bed for storage, but now we have you instead!” Shiori said cheerfully._

“ _Oh! Miku, we can all have a sleepover!” Hibiki said brightly, making Miku smile back at her in return._

“ _We should!” Miku responded with cheer, looking at Kuriyo and Shiori. “We are starting here this year too! Hibiki said she is going to carry all of our things to our room!”_

“ _Miku hates me!” Hibiki whined loudly, making Yumi flinch next to her, the hint of a giggle on her lips._

“ _Hey ‘Hina, go easy on her.” Kuriyo said grinning, patting the unpacked boxes. “She might not help us unpack otherwise.”_

_This made Yumi look at all of them in surprise. “Help...unpack?” She said slowly without realization._

“ _Of course!” Miku said, smiling at her._

“ _We have to help welcome our new friend.” Shiori added._

“ _And roommate!” Kuriyo said pointing finger guns at her._

“ _Yumi is Miku’s and my roommate! You can’t have her!” Hibiki said playfully hugging Yumi tight._

_Miku puffed her cheeks out, glaring at Hibiki who grinned nervously. Letting the now red faced Yumi free of the hug, all it took was one look at Miku’s puffed out cheeks to finally make Yumi break out into a smile followed by obnoxious laughter._

“ _You look like a fish!”_

_Miku opened her mouth in faux offense, standing up quickly. “And this is how you treat your new friends?” She said melodramatically leaning against the boxes, causing it to tip over, the top of the box to bust open as books spilled out._

“ _Miku!” Hibiki said standing up, still laughing Yumi wiping tears from her eyes._

“ _Are you okay?” Kuriyo asked, but Miku waved her off._

“ _I’m fine. Sorry about your books, Yumi-chan.” Miku said. She and Hibiki began to pick up the books together, both picking up one book at the same time, eyes widening in shock._

“ _Is this…?”_

_On the cover of the book, were two scantily clad girls, who had hands going between each other's legs, which happened to be right where Miku and Hibiki’s fingers were. Miku and Hibiki could feel themselves turning red as tomatoes as their eyes memorized the cover of the yuri manga._

_Yumi’s screech of horror was loud enough for her parents to hear._

“ _NO DON’T LOOK AT THAT ONE!”_

~!~

“Hey ‘Hina!” Kuriyo called from across the mall over to Miku, breaking her out of her nostalgia. 

Miku had made her way to the mall following the phone call ahead of them. The outside mall was beautiful, and she was able to greatly enjoy its lovely, busy ambience while sitting with her back to the water fountain. It was soothing.

Kuriyo had quite the shiner to show off where Hibiki’s fist had connected, but if she was bothered by it you wouldn’t be able to tell. Shiori followed behind her, a relieved smile hitting her lips when she saw Miku, ignoring the rambling Yumi who was trying to talk her ear off. 

But Miku only had eyes for the girl next to Yumi.

“Miku!” Hibiki cheered happily throwing her arms around her like it had been months since they’d seen each other. Catching Kuriyo’s worried eye, Miku could feel Hibiki’s forced positivity like it was a bad odor. “How was piano class?” Hibiki asked with a smile, taking her hand.

“Cancelled,” Miku lied. “So I thought I’d come window shop for Chris. I need a new watch too, mine’s broken.” She said as she fell into line with the others. “How are you all doing?”

Kuriyo shrugged, hugging her blue jacket closer. “I wish it was warmer already, but _someone_ likes to keep it cold.”

“Our apartment is already a hotbox Kuriyo, we don’t need to run the heat constantly.” Shiori said in a manner that indicated there would be no debate.

“Miku-chan! Did you like those movies I sent you?” Yumi said, peering around Hibiki to stare at Miku with wonder. 

“They were...a little hard to follow, but very pretty to look at!” Miku was fairly confident that despite her best efforts her words did not reach Planet Yumi.

“It’s such a beautiful and poignant continuation of the series. At the time, the series was thought to have ended in a way that no one was truly satisfied with, but this was the first step in taking it to a-”

“Are you talking about the movie where they beat up the purple cat?” Kuriyo interrupted.

“Huh?” Hibiki said, looking confused at Miku and Yumi.

“Okay, FIRST OF ALL, his name is-” Yumi started before Kuriyo interrupted again.

“Or is that one where the wuss wouldn’t just get into the robot?”

“HE WAS SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY WHO WAS GOING THROUGH A LOT MORE THAN ANYONE SHOULD EVER HAVE-”

“Yumi,” Shiori said calmly placing a hand on the otaku’s shoulder. “If you scream in my ear again you are sleeping in the hall.” Before releasing her hand on the girl's shoulder as she pouted. 

“I’d still like to watch the one you keep telling me about.” Miku said, stroking Hibiki’s fingers in her hand. “With the mythic heroes and the war you were describing.”

“Mythic heroes?” Hibiki said, eyes widening in interest. 

“Yes!” Yumi said, instantly perking back up as she placed a hand over her heart. “One of the most critically acclaimed visual novels of all time, is also one of the most beautiful animes to ever be put out!”

“Heh, it’s a hentai game.” Kuriyo said, unwisely poking the bear.

“IT IS NOT A HENTAI GAME!” Yumi screamed in public.

Miku and Hibiki both had to stifle a laugh into their scarves as Yumi turned beet red as all eyes in the plaza went onto her.

“WELL IT'S NOT!”

Miku gave a slight tug to Hibiki's hand, falling behind the three as they continued on, Shiori scolding Yumi for her outburst. Hibiki quietly and subtly nuzzled against Miku’s scarf, giving Miku the perfect chance to breathe in the smell of Hibiki’s hair.

“How's your hand?”

“It’s the best when you’re holding it.” Hibiki mused, moving to gently kiss Miku’s neck, before stopping herself. Standing up a little straighter, she gripped Miku’s hand tighter than before, interlocking their fingers together.

Even with the Curse of Balal gone, it was not exactly the best idea to go out and advertise their relationship to the whole world. Not because of their careers like Tsubasa and Maria, or because of their feelings on PDA like Chris. Truth be told, Miku wanted to kiss every square inch of Hibiki on every square inch of the planet if it meant proving her love to her. But reality was that as far as their homeland had come in the last few decades, it still paid to be careful.

“Don’t play dumb.” Miku scolded.

“Who’s playing?” Hibiki grinned playfully at her.

“Hibiki!” Miku puffed out her cheeks like she always did when she was cross.

“Okay, okay,” Hibiki said bashfully. “It’s fine really.” She held up her other hands, which had a small band-aid over the third knuckle. “It’s not as bad as Maria-san’s. I just feel bad for Kuriyo-chan.” Miku was thankful for that. Maria had slipped in the bathroom and cut her hand open down to her wrist on the mirror. It was a ghastly injury that could not have come at a worse time. She needed several stitches in her arm and was ordered to slow it down. The injury was bad, but it could have been so much worse had the shards just gone a little bit farther down south.

“She said you had a nightmare in class.” Miku said. She herself had been having nightmares almost daily for the last few weeks, and now Hibiki seemed to be joining her if this was any indication.

“Yeah,” Hibiki said, uncomfortably. “It was weird. I barely remember it, but I think it was about Chris-chan.” Hibiki said, making an effort to keep her voice down from the trio.

“Maybe it would help if you went to see her.” Miku tried to suggest what felt like the hundredth time. 

Hibiki tensed up at that suggestion, “We should catch up.” She said, pulling Miku along to the other girls who had only just noticed their lagging behind.

_Stop falling back on bad habits..._

Miku caught up with the rest of them, just catching Kurioyo saying, “We should all have a birthday party for ‘Yuki!”

The words stopped Hibiki in her tracks, giving Miku a perfect chance to grab her hand in hers and make the save. “If Chris wants to, we will. She often likes to have her own private time though, so please remember that.” Miku said in a neutral way, walking hand in hand.

Kuriyo caught Miku’s eye with a curious expression. She wasn’t buying it. “She’s still feeling sick right? I hope she gets better.” She said kindly, not challenging her deception.

“She’s still sick yeah.” Miku confirmed, “I thought we’d get her a gift while we’re here.” 

“What does Chris-san like?” Yumi pondered.

“What does Yukine-san want?” Shiori added.

“I actually had an idea.” Hibiki said loudly, taking Miku aback. Hibiki’s face was burning, and she looked conflicted, like she didn’t want to talk about it.

“Don’t tell me, a cell phone?” Miku said, smiling at her in a ‘We should ask Chris about that before we get it for her’ kind of way.

“No actually, it’s…” Hibiki’s face burned again, before she told them her gift idea.

They all four gasped at the suggestion, the cost of it not being lost on Miku.

“I thought she had one?” Yumi said, puzzled.

“Never a bad idea to get a backup.” Kuriyo said, giving Hibiki a wink with her black eye. “I think she’ll really like it ‘Bikki.”

“I think they sell them here,” Shiori said, finger on her chin. “It might not be like what she has now, but they’d definitely have something!”

“What do you think ‘Hina?”

Miku was stunned, watching her girlfriend with an eye of pride and concern. Her brightest star had a nervous look in her eye, a vulnerable one. The gift idea was risky for sure, but the kind that only someone like Hibiki would be willing to take. But was she doing this to put someone else's feelings before her own once again? Was she trying to justify her own life by making someone else's better?

“I think that it’s a wonderful idea.” She said. Hibiki looked at her thankfully, the anxiety beneath those glorious suns dimming. “I think she will absolutely love it.” She said, giving her girlfriend a rare public kiss on the cheek.

“Ahhhhh!” Yumi squealed. “You two are so cute!” 

“Yumi!” Shiori barked. “Don’t be weird!” She ordered pointing her finger at the girl.

“I’m not being weird! I’m just so happy for them!” Yumi said defensively, crossing her arms in a huff.

“We appreciate you guys supporting us.” Miku said, face blushing at the microscope her relationship with Hibiki was being put under.

 _“Of course we support you!”_ Yumi shouted, getting in both their faces with a twinkle in her eye. “Your love is so-” Shiori put her hand over her mouth before she could go any further.

“Yumi. You are in space right now. Come back to earth.” The blonde said sternly.

“It’s okay.” Hibiki said scratching behind her hair. “We’re just happy that you don’t think we’re weird.”

Yumi pulled Shiori’s hand away from her mouth, “I would _never_ think you are weird!” She said brightly.

Shiori could only facepalm behind her. 

“Your love is so pure and sweet!” She twirled on her toes. “It reminds me of one of my mangas and seeing it grow into something gives me hope for my own romance!”

Miku got even redder, now feeling incredibly embarrassed. “Thank you Yumi,” She said. “Though I am not sure if manga is the best place to get an idea on romance.” 

“Yeah Yumi, besides, how could this be like one of your yuri mangas?” Kuriyo began, Yumi’s eyes widening in fear. “They aren’t even sisters!”

Miku and Hibiki both turned in shock and horror. “ _WHAT?!?!”_

Their laughter at Yumi’s expense carried them all the way to the store that would have Hibiki’s gift idea. To their collective chagrin, the owner did not have what they wanted in stock on account of the holiday. They were, however, able to make a special order for them to be delivered to Hibiki and Miku’s apartment. Ideally, it would show up just before Chris’s birthday, giving them time to wrap the surprise. 

It was while browsing the rest of the store, that Miku had an unexpected encounter.

“Feeling better, Kohinata-san?” Her piano teacher said from the next aisle over in the store.

“Nomura-sensei!” Miku exclaimed, startled at the sight of the teacher’s whose class she had lied about being sick to get out of just hours before. “I am well-”

“Kohinata-san,” He raised a hand up, smiling at her gently. “Don’t waste a good lie on this. You are not the first, nor will you be the last student to skip my class before a major holiday.” His look gained a serious bend to it. “Though I do hope you are using the free time to improve your sleep schedule.”

Miku bowed to her teacher respectfully. “Yes Nomura-sensei.” She said, feeling guilt fill in the pit of her stomach. “I’m sorry for skipping your class.” She genuinely did enjoy his class, it was probably her favorite out of all the classes she took, but its placement in the day could not be worse.

“You’re not the only one who wishes they could skip my class on a Friday afternoon!” He said with a laugh. “Have a good day Kohinata-san.” He said as he made his way to checkout where Hibiki and the others were just finishing up. She saw him briefly talk to Hibiki when she felt her phone buzz.

Checking it, she sighed as she saw who it was, before answering it with a fake cheer.

“Hello Kioku-san, how are you doing?”

“Miku-chan!” The woman screamed loud enough to make Miku hold the phone away from her ear. “It’s been so long! I was gonna head by your neck of the woods today, I was wondering if you wanted to get some ramen with me?” Her piercingly energetic voice was enough to give Miku an almost instant headache.

“Well, I’m actually not at my apartment or _Lydian_ , I’m at the mall-”

“ _ME TOO!”_ Kioku squealed, “Oh this is perfect I don’t even have to pick you up! Meet you at the ramen shop at the food court in five! Love you bye!” Kioku said, hanging up before Miku could get a single word in.

“Okay then.” Miku said to the dial tone, looking at Hibiki as she walked up to her.

“Who was that?” Hibiki asked with Chris’s gift under her arm. The others trailed behind her, Shiori scolding Yumi for making one too many anime references.

“Kioku, she wants to meet us for ramen in five.”

“Who?” Kuriyo said, leaning on Shiori’s shoulder as the three joined them.

“She’s Chris-chan’s friend right?” Hibiki said curiously, reminding Miku that she and Kioku had never met before. 

“Yeah, Kioku’s nice.” Miku said, wishing that she could cut the social time short. She’d much rather just eat alone with Hibiki.

“I can’t be out too much later.” Yumi said dejected. “I have lots of homework.”

“I have practice.” Kuriyo said leaning off of Shiori’s shoulder.

“I’m not busy, but I should probably try and clean up the apartment a bit.” Shiori said reluctantly, like she wanted to do anything else in the world.

“We’ll catch you later then?” Miku said, wishing she could have spent more time with them.

“Totally. We need to do this more.” Kuriyo said, winking with her black eye.

“Hey...Kuriyo-chan.” Hibiki started, reaching her hand out. “I’m sorry again about your eye.” She said, shame arresting her.

“Psh, don’t sweat it. Now I owe you one.” Kuriyo said, lightly punching her shoulder, making her smile genuinely for the first time all day.

“If we don’t see you guys again before hand, Merry Christmas!” Hibiki said, reminding Miku that the holiday was only two days away.

“We should get going if we are going to meet up with Kioku.” Miku said, taking Hibiki’s hand as they marched through the mall together. 

There was a comfortable silence between them as they walked along, enjoying eachothers company as they journeyed to the food court. Truth be told, Miku would rather get something to go and just relax at home. Her muscles were dying for a hot bath above all else, but a Hibiki massage would not go amiss.

“You okay?” Hibiki asked quietly.

“Yeah. Just sore is all.” Miku said, “I worked out so much I broke my watch.”

“Oh no!”

“It’s old anyway. I wanna get a new one before we leave here. Present for myself.”

“Good. I know you won’t be getting what I got you for Christmas.” Hibiki said, holding her head up defiantly.

“And what would that be?” 

“Secret!” Hibiki teased, eyes lighting up with mischief. “What about you? What’s Miku getting me for Christmas hmmmmm?” She said, tilting her head with a grin.

“Guess.”

“I can never guess! Your gifts are always too good!”

“I think you might be able to figure out what I am going to give you.” Miku said, not looking at her, merely smiling with a smug satisfied look on her face. 

It took Hibiki a minute.

“Oh-OH.” Hibiki’s face burned at the possible implications of her question, drawing a light chuckle from the girl, before she noticed that Hibiki’s face had been downcast. 

“What’s wrong?” Miku asked.

“I just feel bad.” Hibiki admitted. “I have not been feeling very up for it lately.” She looked at the ground, uncomfortable. She was grateful for the anonymity that the large crowded mall provided.

“Oh Hibiki.” Miku wrapped her arm around her shoulders. “I was just kidding. I promise your present does not require you to do anything. It’s a gift.” She pecked her on the cheek. “Just like you are in my life.”

Hibiki giggled, looking at her with a sly smile. “You are getting corney.” She said with a cheeky grin.

Miku playfully shoved her. “Oh shush you.” She said as they arrived at the food court.

It didn’t take long to find Kioku, the blonde haired pig tailed girl jumping and waving at them from across the way. She was seated with a woman who seemed to be around the same age as her, with purple hair a little bit longer then Miku’s, with an acoustic guitar in its case next to her.

“Miku-chan! This is Iwasawa!” Kioku said, gesturing to her friend, before eyes locking onto Hibiki in a brief moment of confusion. “Oh, who is this?”

“Hey! I’m Hibiki! I’m Chris-chan's friend!” Hibiki said helpfully, bumping against Miku. “Miku’s too.”

“Oh you must be the idiot she always talks about.” Kioku said dryly, before gesturing to a seat. “More than welcome to join us of course!” She said quickly recovering as she grabbed a nearby chair for Hibiki.

“And your name was Iwasawa-san yes?” Miku asked politely to the guitarist.

“Iwasawa is fine.” The woman said, eating some already ordered noodles.

“ _Somebody_ just couldn’t wait.” Kioku said, rolling her eyes. “Excuse her she’s a mess.”

“I wanted to get Okonomiyaki,” Iwasawa said with a hint of stubborness. 

“Ohhh I could definitely go for that.” Kioku said, rubbing her own stomach as she looked at the ramen menu. “Why didn’t you suggest it babe?” Kioku said, leaning her head on Iwasawa’s arm.

“Why are you touching me?” Iwasawa demanded.

“She's so grumpy.” Kioku pouted.

“Is the ramen good here?” Miku asked Iwasawa.

“It's alright.” She answered with a shrug.

“I could really go for some Okonomiyaki right now honestly.” Kioku said. “I think there’s a place here that sells it, but there's a place near that music school that's way better.” 

“Flower!” Hibiki exclaimed. “That's our favorite place to eat!”

“It's very good!” Miku confirmed.

“We need to take Chris-chan there sometime then!” Kioku said. “Where has she been anyway? Is she still sick?” She asked, as the three of them headed for the ramen counter.

“Ahhh, yeah. She's on bed rest right now.” Hibiki covered, looking at Miku for help.

“She better not miss Christmas.” Kioku said, as they returned to the table with their bowls of noodles.“I can't exactly just go find another orphan in two days to spend it with.”

Iwasawa instantly smacked Kioku upside the head. “Dude!”

“What?” Kioku said, before realization hit her face and she looked at Hibiki and Miku. “Fuck! Forget I said that!” She put her hands in her hair in frustration, “God damnit I am such an idiot. Look, don't tell her I said that okay?” She pleaded with the two, who looked at each other in confusion before it dawned on them.

“Oh,” Hibiki laughed awkwardly. “We know about Chris-chan's parents.”

“Oh thank the fuck Christ for that.” Kioku said with relief. “I would have felt like the world's biggest cunt if I did that.” The older girl laughed, her language stunning Miku.

“Oh,” Miku said looking at Hibiki for help. “Well, I'm sure if she is feeling up for it she'd happily join you. Were you planning on having it with your parents?” She asked, trying to change the subject from Chris.

“Psh, not fucking likely unless you got plane tickets to Arlington National Cemetery.”

Hibiki and Miku both looked uncomfortable as Iwasawa slapped Kioku again. “Ease up jackass.”

Kioku looked very embarrassed but recovered well enough. “So what are you two's Christmas plans?” She asked with food in her mouth.

Hibiki and Miku exchanged a look. Before the situation with Chris developed they had planned on hosting their parents over at their apartment for the holiday. Neither of their families were for huge celebrations of the holiday, but they had been making the nerve wrecking plan on revealing their relationship then and there. The plan had turned into taking in turns to spend Christmas day scouring Tokyo for Finé if Chris was not awake by that point. The last thing either of them needed was to further complicate things with Kioku potentially getting involved.

“Going home to see our families.” Miku boldly lied, “We don't get to see them much because we live so far away.” She added helpfully, catching Hibiki's look of appreciation.

“My mom and dad are divorced, so it's really the only time I get to see both of them at once.” Hibiki said

“Rough.” Kioku said. “Not sure what I'm doing now since my Chris-chan has the fucking plague apparently.” She said with a hint of bitterness. Miku felt sorry for her, almost sensing that the girl wanted them to invite her on their imaginary parental pilgrimage.

“Could always hang with my parents for Christmas.” Iwasawa said with a low chuckle.

Kioku almost snorted her pancake at that, “You're going to see your parents for Christmas?”

“No.” Iwasawa said before laughing into her glass of water.

The air was uncomfortable at the table as Miku sat on the implication. Between Hibiki, all the other adapters, and now Kioku and Iwasawa, Miku held a newfound appreciation for the fact that her parents were both alive and kind to her.

“Maybe after Chris gets better, we can all celebrate our own little Christmas together!” Hibiki suggested cheerfully, and Miku could not help but internally cringe. She was never one to let others be miserable without saying something about it, but did they really have the time for this with everything else going on?

“Really?” Iwasawa looked at Hibiki with a look of genuine surprise, but not the unpleasant kind.

“Really!” Hibiki said, her smile shining bright in a way that could only make Miku fall in love with her more.

Kioku and Iwasawa exchanged a look. “What do you think?” Iwasawa asked her, Kioku looking quite shocked that it was her to do so.

“That'd be fucking super cool! Once Chrissy-chan gets herself un-dead we can party proper!” Kioku threw her hands in the air and kicked her feet excitedly, earning stares as a result.

“Do you have an inside voice?” Iwasawa said, smacking her upside the head again.

“Don't be rough! At least not in public, that's these two thing.” Kioku teased slyly, making Miku feel an odd protective sort of anger towards Hibiki.

“I don't mind it being known to people here who I'm dating.” She said confidently, grabbing Hibiki's hand and holding it up like a badge of honor.

“Bold.” Iwasawa said. “Watch your ass. People still suck sometimes. Think they need to fix a girl.”

Hibiki and Miku exchanged a grin, “We can defend ourselves just fine,” They replied at the same time, a smug look on their lips.

“Ha!” Kioku laughed, “You two are definitely Chrissy-chan's friends.” She said, finishing off her dinner. “Though I wonder there little Miss Miku-chan, do you have to dodge mistletoes around my dear kohai?” She intentionally drew the last few words out for a dramatic effect that Miku did not appreciate.

“Chris is not the type to do that.” Miku said kindly, but with weight behind it.

“The way she gets all puppy dog eyes over you is pretty adorable,” Kioku said. “The power of a young girl in love is amazing!” She added, which annoyed Miku, as if she was simply ignoring her girlfriend sitting right next to her.

Iwasawa snorted, “Love’s pushing it. It's a crush.”

“Chris-chan's one of our best friends.” Hibiki said brightly, gulping down her third order. “It's okay if she has a crush on Miku. Miku is very crushable!” She said with a grin, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Oh is she?” Kioku said, wiggling her eyebrows at both of them.

“Huh?” Hibiki said, looking between the three other girl's at the table, before it hit her. “Oh wait no that's not-” She started to wave her hands frantically when Miku countered.

“Yes I am.” Miku said, raising her own eyebrow back. “Hibiki's gotten quite good at it.” Out of the corner of her eye she was pleased to see the stoic Iwasawa nearly spit her food out. “We get lots of practice in.” She added, staring Kioku right in the eye.

Kioku's eyebrows were perpetually arched, before she raised her hand and pointed at her. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.” She returned Miku's cocky smirk, both staring each other down to see who'd blink first.

“Christ Kioku, I thought it was only Chris you had it bad for.” Iwasawa said, finishing her meal.

“Hey!” The cocky smirk vanished from her immediately. “I do not have a crush on Chris!” She said defensively, blush burning on her cheeks. “She's like a sister to me! Jeez!” She insisted, while Iwasawa just leaned forward, chin on her hands in increasingly pleased manner.

“So you do have a crush on me!” Miku stated, striking while the iron was hot.

“What?” Kioku exclaimed, realizing she was surrounded on all sides by enemies.

“She's very crushable.” Hibiki said, wrapping her arms around Miku and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Ah!” Kioku looked from Miku, to Hibiki, to Iwasawa in rapid succession. “Y'all are ganging up on me, this is not fair!” She laughed defensively, red as a tomato.

“You could take Chris to that new club you keep babbling about, instead of agonizing about it all month like you have been.” Iwasawa said, providing free ammunition to the other girls.

“Oooooh!” They both cooed together, drawing Kioku's anger even more.

“Are you going to ask Chris-chan on a date, Kioku-san?” Hibiki asked, resting her head on Miku's shoulder.

“Or maybe try to catch her under the mistletoe?” Miku added.

“You. All. Fucking. Suck.” Kioku said, standing up from her tray in annoyance.

“Do they have couples night at the club?” Miku asked, making her face go even redder if possible.

“Oh it could be a double date!” Hibiki suggested

“Now see? That sounds like a good time to me Kioku.” Iwasawa added incessantly.

“ _OH MY GOD SHUT UP!”_

_~!~_

_The streets were cold._

_Her footsteps were soft, barely making a path in the snow._

_She thought maybe._

_Just maybe he'd be home for Christmas._

_But she knew it was all right!_

_Everything was just fine._

_She had all the groceries she needed for it._

_Her mom and grandma were far too busy with work to be able to take off for Christmas._

_But that just meant she got to try cooking for the first time!_

_And maybe he'd smell just how good the food was and he'd come back and tell her all about the new job he had!_

_Her house was unmistakable, even among all the other similar looking buildings._

**_KILL YOURSELF!_ **

**_MURDERER!_ **

**_THIEF!_ **

**_YOU KILLED MY LITTLE GIRL!_ **

**_GIVE THE MONEY YOU STOLE BACK!_ **

_She went inside, quickly getting the turkey in the oven to cook in the pan. She had managed to hand write some instructions down on how to cook a turkey from recipes she looked up online at the library._

_They could not afford the internet at home, and she couldn't go to school anymore aside from tests, but she knew even if she didn't get all the instructions down perfect she could figure it out!_

_She'd make the best tasting turkey ever! And then her mom and grandma would come home and they'd be so happy that they don't have to waste their time cooking for her! And then she could take some to Miku and her parents to say sorry for making their lives hard! And then the whole neighborhood would smell her cooking and want some and they'd forgive her for living! Then she could take some to school and everyone would love it so much they'd let her attend class again, and word would get around town about it so much that her dad would come home and say that with her cooking he'd never need another sake bottle again! He'd ruffle her hair and they'd all sit around and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and-_

_Getting a sponge and bucket of water out once more, she walked back outside._

“ _A happy family has a happy home.” She said under the Christmas moonlight._

_She scrubbed the outside walls of her home clean, the cold water of the bucket freezing her hands until she had no feeling left in her finger tips. Even when the water ran down her wrists and into her shirt and it felt like she was cleaning in the middle of a freezer she still scrubbed away._

_You could still see the shadows of the letters on her happy home if you looked real close, but if you just glanced, It was a happy home._

_It was a very happy home._

_She carried the empty bucket inside._

_Her hands felt weird, like they hurt, but she couldn't actually feel them._

_She couldn't make a fist with them either, they were so cold. So she just sat next to the oven, wondering what would happen if she crawled inside with the turkey and just went to sleep._

_Would her dad come home today?_

_Find her laying on the floor of the kitchen and tell her to stop being silly? Maybe he'd dress up like Santa and throw a snowball at her. Her mom would yell that he's gonna get the inside of the house wet and he'd tell her that it's alright. Everything is just fine._

_Hibiki took the hand that she couldn't close and put it against the hot metal of the burning oven._

_She could see the turkey inside._

_It had burst open completely._

_That's not how you cook a turkey._

_She turned her back to the oven and curled up in a ball, the pale Christmas moonlight shining down on her in her happy house._

“ _It's all right. Everything is just fine.” The words echoed in the house._

_But nobody heard them._

_~!~_

“Hibiki,” Miku said gently, squeezing her hand. “Hey Hibiki, wake up.” She thought about what Kuriyo said earlier, and kept a firm grip on her hands. “We're here silly.”

“Huh?” Hibiki said groggily, wiping sleepy tears from her eyes as she looked around. “What about the turkey?”

“Turkey?” Miku gently teased, ruffling her hair. “You're a turkey. Wake up silly.” She said affectionately, noticing the distressed look on her face.

It was a look she had only seen before _Lydian_.

“Hey. Hibiki, are you okay?” She asked, her concern greatly increasing.

“No.” Hibiki answered honestly.

Miku's heart panged with both fear and great concern. “What's wrong?” She said, putting a hand up the SONG driver who was about to open the car door for them.

After their impromptu mall meal with Kioku and Iwasawa they had agreed to go back to HQ and check in with everyone. Hibiki had passed out on the way over and Miku could not bring herself to disturb what seemed like a steep slumber.

“I'm not okay.” Hibiki said, almost smiling. “But neither is Chris-chan.” She wasn't looking at Miku when she said it, but she looked like she was looking at _something_ of great importance. “I can get better. I've done it before, but right now.”

This time she did look at Miku. 

“Right now Chris-chan needs my help to get better.” Those beautiful bronze eyes haunted Miku with the depth of the love they held within. They were shining so brilliantly now that she was convinced if she wasn't careful, she'd never be able to look away. 

What an impossibly wonderful thing to have happened to her.

“Hibiki...” Miku let her fingers trace along Hibiki's face.

There was that cocky grin she loved so much again.

“This isn't a place for waiting for things to get better on their own. It's not the place to ignore the problem. And it's not a place to let someone go through something by themselves.” Hibiki's voice was brimming with unstoppable confidence. She leaned forward and took Miku's lips with so much passion and force it took Miku off her feat even though she was sitting down. “Let's go see Chris-chan.”

They journeyed deep into the facility, through the familiar golden halls that was the last fortress of humanity. Normally it would be staffed with as many active bodies as possible, but Genjuro had ordered them down to a skeleton crew of only the most trustworthy people.

Speaking of, they could hear his unmistakable voice now.

“I understand your reasoning for it, however, your resignation is denied, Kashiyami-kun.” It was rare for Miku to hear Genjuro's voice to be resonant with such authority, but she had heard it enough to know how little it was ever questioned.

“It is my duty to protect those that I am put in charge of. I failed to do so.” Kashiyami's pink hair bowed in respect to Genjuro. “I do not deserve the opportunity to put more of our agents in danger Commander.”

Miku knew only a little bit about Natsu Kashiyami. Only that she was a SONG agent that had joined recently, and who had been the agent on assignment to protect Chris after Finé's reappearance.

“Kashiyami-kun!” Genjuro's voice echoed in the hall, full of authority, but not anger or judgment. “I expect many things from my agents! Compassion! Loyalty! Big appetites!” He put a large comforting hand on her shoulder. “What I do not expect from them is clairvoyance, telepathy, or perfection.” His smile was warm with understanding. “Chris-kun went against orders, moving seemingly under her own prerogative to not be followed or detected, despite the security risks. I cannot hold you at fault for Chris-kun making your job impossible.” He finished, smiling down at the woman.

“Commander...”

It was at this point that Genjuro seemed to notice the two of them standing there, and the look in his eyes was like a light bulb went off over his head. “Now then, while I will not honor your attempts at resigning. Tsubasa has declared it her and Maria-kun's intention to protect Chris-kun full time. As your reassignment, we will handle the security for Hibiki-kun and Miku-kun.”

“Yay!” Hibiki said, punching the air, startling Kashiyami who turned in shock at the loud noise.

“Tachibana-san!”

Hibiki's face fell a bit, “Please call me Hibiki. Tachibana-san makes it sound like you're my mean piano teacher.”

Miku swatted her arm, “Be nice!”

Kashiyami looked at both of them, conflicting emotions etching onto her face of both astonishment and disbelief. Smiling, she bowed to both of them. “I will do all that is within my power to ensure your well being.” She said solemnly.

“Hibiki's a problem child. She will likely make things difficult for you.”

“Miku's a big bully! Don't listen to her.” Hibiki said, playfully shoving her.

“Would you like to reconsider your resignation, Kashiyami-kun?” Genjuro asked, looking pleased with himself.

Kashiyami looked at the two girls who were smiling brilliantly at her and shook her head. “I will do all I can for the problem child and her bullying friend.” She smiled at them kindly. “Can I ask that you two not do anything reckless?”

“Nope!” They both responded eagerly.

She laughed, shaking her head. “Why does no one do what I want?”

“That's the spirit!” Genjuro cheered happily. "Now! Get your affairs in order to watch over them!” He ordered, looking over the two girls as Kashiyami walked off. “How were your days at school?”

“I had a bad dream, but now I am here to help Chris-chan!” Hibiki said brightly, making Genjuro raise his eyebrows in surprised delight.

“Oh?”

“Yes!” Hibiki said, her eyes shining. “Chris-chan needs our help, and I am going to give it to her. No matter what it takes!” She said, pumping her fist.

Genjuro looked at both of them, before planting his feet and punching his fist. “ _Hibiki-kun! Go! Let your heartbeat awaken Chris-kun!”_ He pointed dramatically behind him, and before he could even say the word go, she was off like a bat out of hell.

“Is she okay?” Genjuro asked Miku quietly. 

Miku looked at her girlfriend, an odd pang in her stomach as she looked at her back. “I think she will be.” She answered, before bowing to her sensei, and chasing after her girlfriend.

Miku caught up with Hibiki, who was talking to Maria just outside of Chris's door. If it was like the past few days, Tsubasa or Ogawa were likely in Chris's room itself. A 24/7 sentinel duty.

“Hibiki!” She called just before she crossed the threshold.

Hibiki turned her back to Maria, who was looking in on Chris and Tsubasa with an unreadable expression. Her hand wrapped in white bandages up to her elbow.

“Miku-san.” She nodded, but Miku ignored her.

Clutching Hibiki's hands in hers, she stared into those beautiful twin suns that made her feel so amazingly powerless. There were a million things she wanted to say, and even more things she needed to say, yet the words died in her throat, and any possible word of encouragement stubbornly refused to come to her.

Those words used to come to her so easily.

But things had changed.

And sometimes there was nothing you could say.

And sometimes.

Sometimes.

Actions spoke louder than words.

She gasped when Hibiki pressed her lips against hers, closing her eyes and returning the warm embrace. Letting Hibiki's blooming courage envelope her completely. Hibiki's lips were a promise.

A reality.

“I won't lose.” Hibiki rested her forehead against Miku's.

“I know.”

“Get Tsubasa-san something to eat.” Hibiki turned back to the hospital room door, looking at it like it was a mountain she was about to go climb. “I need to get the turkey out of the oven.”

She crossed the threshold, leaving the two girl's outside to peer inside with gold and ruby eyes.

It was Maria who broke the silence.

“Is the turkey a metaphor?”

“I don't know.”


	6. One Hundred and Twenty Three Pounds, or Fifty Five Kilograms

**“I’m sorry it took so long for me to come see you. Things have been kind of crazy.”**

~!~

Chris didn’t want to wake up.

Waking up meant getting out of the comfiest bed in the entire world.

It was like being wrapped up in the world's most secure little ball and being held tight and snugly. It reminded her of when Kirika would roll over onto her during away missions and just wrap around her like a koala. She never minded it. She knew the girl liked to hold things when she was sleeping.

That little pipsqueak had been focusing on all sorts of things lately, lots of things _not_ related to school work. She was gonna have words with her about that.

But that meant getting out of bed.

With a groan and huff and a puff Chris unwrapped the little burrito around herself and kicked off the covers of the bed. Sitting up, she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and became immediately awake once she saw where she was.

Not in her room.

Not in her apartment. 

Headquarters.

The sickbay of all places.

With no lights on.

Chris rolled off the bed, and her legs gave out immediately. Her arms had little strength to catch her with and she fell right on her ass. Bile churned in her stomach and threatened to shoot up her throat, but she choked it back down. 

_It’s okay Chris. Just focus on my voice. I promise, in ten minutes, everything will be fine._

Chris sat there, letting her eyes slowly adjust to the darkness as she absorbed everything around her.

The steel under her ass wasn’t warm, but not the cool steel that she had grown accustomed to on SONG’s long tenures out at sea on the submarine. It was warm like the earth.

A solid foundation.

She took a deep breathe in, her nostrils absorbing a light fragrance that seemed to vanish instantly. There was no sterile smell, none of that sicky hospital smell, and not even that of lingering dust. 

Listening to the inner darkness of this uncanny version of her sickbay, she noticed things. There was no beeping. No humming, no whirring of electricity, no distant sounds of footfalls, or even the scurrying of rats. 

It wasn’t silent.

It was void.

She tried and failed to get feelings back in her hands, so she began to pull her knees up to her chest, and slowly scooted her ankles back down. Satisfied that her legs were not broken, she spread them wide, stretching out to reach the short distance to her feet like Miku had shown her. She repeated the process with the other leg, before doing the splits and laid down on her chest, her legs behind her. Her legs and and thighs were screaming at her for the effort, and she laid face down on the ground for a moment, letting them vent their anger at her for this horrible offense. 

She really did need to work out more.

Placing her hands to the sides of her hips, she bent herself upwards in a cobra yoga pose, straining the muscles on her wrists and back. They both gave out as she collapsed face down on the floor again. Her heart was beating a million miles a minute at this point now, and it was like every single part of her body was attacking her like she was an alarm clock with a very small snooze button. 

Sliding her arms above her head, she slid her bottom half up in the downward dog stretch, sweat beating down her brow as she did so. It was at this moment she envied her less well endowed Gear wielders for not having to lug two melons like she did doing this. 

But who cares?

So it was harder for her.

Like she couldn't take it.

Grinning hard enough to grind her teeth, she made her feet hold her weight, swinging her body up, falling back against the side of the bed to steady herself. Every single part of her body was shaking at once, like jelly on the dashboard of a speeding car.

But she was standing,

She was sweating.

And she was laughing.

“Not bad for ten fucking minutes.” 

Chris stumbled forward, her legs barely carrying her to the sickbay window. Using the wall as a crutch, she inched her way to the door that was just barely ajar.

No power.

If this door wasn’t ajar, she would have been trapped.

_The door was open._

She blinked, shaking her head, fitting her arm through the space and using her body weight to force it the rest of the way open. She nearly fell again at the easiness of it, remembering too late that most automatic doors were built with the safety system to slide open in case of a loss in power.

“Okay…” Her eyes took the scene around her. “What fucking happened?” 

The corridors of the hallway were just as long as they had always been, but now were stuck with a degree of darkness that was unbecoming of them. There were no sinister shadows here, no darkness at the edges of corners, or ominous banging of pipes. There was no dust, or even dirt. 

Abandoned.

But clean.

“Bullshit.” Chris thought out loud, clutching at her pendant. She followed down the side of the hallway, limping along, listening for anything and everything that could potentially give away someone or something following her.

“Let’s think, why was I in a hospital bed?”

_Chris…_

She stopped dead in her tracks.

Oh.

She always said Chris’s name like that. Slow and measured, like it was the most important thing to say in the world.

The concert.

_Highton View Terrace._

Finé.

One leg gave out from under her, and her breathing became hitched and labored, heartbeat beating faster and faster. She can almost hear it, someone screaming. Another screaming her name. It’s loud. Loud like a nail being hammered into your ear drum.

“Shut up already,” She winced, pulling herself up to her feet, she glanced around every square inch of the hallway.

SONG Headquarters.

Formerly Section 2.

Formerly, Finé’s nine to fucking five.

“Let’s settle this!” Chris screamed, not an echo to be heard. “You and me! No one else involved!” She shouted again, standing on her own two feet. Her fist was clenched tight enough to draw blood. “You fucking forgive me huh? Well that doesn't go both ways!” She screamed into the dark corridors once more. She wasn’t even answered by the sound of her own voice.

“Fuck this.” She turned on her heel and began to walk back towards the sickbay, when she felt it.

Something she felt all too often before.

Like someone.

Or something.

Was watching her closely. 

Turning on a dime to face the beast, she saw what she missed before. A doorway, with light coming out of it. A literal light at the end of the tunnel.

It was the control room.

In stark contrast to the rest of SONG Headquarters, the Command Bridge did still have power. The bright green computer screen that took up the entire wall was alone brightly illuminated in the dark room. It was one that she was familiar with seeing on the submarine, but it was more than familiar. Familiar enough to see exactly what was on screen.

It filled her heart with dread.

“No...no, no, no, no, no!”

Jelly legs be damned, she sprinted as fast as she could for the elevator to the surface, a pendant glowing around her neck with bright holy light.

She needed to make it in time.

For fucks sakes did she need to make it in time.

In the dark bridge of SONG Headquarters, golden eyes stared at the computer screen with satisfaction. 

“Oh Chris. How could you forget the truth of the world?” She said, bemused. “Pain is the only thing that can connect our hearts.” She watched as the screen lit up, showing the now active relic of _Ichaival_ moving away from HQ. 

“Let this be a reminder to you.”

The nude blonde sat down, getting comfy as she flipped the observation window to include the adaptors of _Ame no Habakiri_ and _Shénshòujìng._

“You will learn.”

~!~

_Chris didn’t want to wake up._

_Waking up meant the dream was over._

_She didn’t want it to be over._

_If she woke up that meant it all started again._

_If there was a god out there, surely they’d let her stay asleep forever right?_

_But there was no god here._

_She was in hell._

_She was in Val Verde._

_Hell in Val Verde._

_She groaned, feeling the sun's afternoon rays fall across her face through the curtains._

_Curtains…_

_There were never curtains._

_She sat up, glaring around the beautiful bedroom, wide awake. The bedroom was beautiful, with a grand wardrobe, a mirror, writing desk, and window that led to a beautiful balcony that overlooked an immense lake._

_It...wasn’t a dream?_

~!~

A bright red light tore across the burning skies of Tokyo; the shattered moon rested above the ruined city. Chris could hardly see, hardly breathe through the massive plumes of smoke that erupted from below, as if demons from hell itself were trying to emerge from beneath the city streets.

But she had no interest in demons right now.

Not when she could see an angel fall from the sky.

“Senpai! No!”

She watched helplessly as the shining blue light of Kazanari Tsubasa was blasted through an entire building. Her screams fell on deaf ears as it collapsed on her mentor. Dust, glass, and even more smoke plumbed up from the destruction. 

The victor of the melee floated above the collapsed building, turning her head at Chris’s arrival.

“Chris.” She always said Chris’s name like that. Slow, measured, like it was the most important thing to say in the world. 

“No…” Chris said, staring Miku down in horror.

“I’ve been searching for you Chris.” The red eyed demon said. “For such a long time.” Just like before, she had the silver horned-like crown atop her head, no signs of Carol’s last stand to be seen.

The power coming off of her was humbling.

“What have you done to her?” Chris asked, fighting back tears.

“Tsubasa-chan has always carved her own path.” Miku spoke calmly. “I am simply guiding her towards immortality.”

“Shut up.” Chris’s voice shuddered with rage. “Get the hell out of her body.”

The sky lit up with lightning, thunder echoing across the sky in a low but fierce rumble.

“Chris.” She placed her hand over her heart. “It’s me. I am Miku.” She smiled at her with the love that Chris had craved ever since she woke up in an Okonomiyaki shop. “Silly goose, who’d you think it was?”

“ _You son of a bitch!”_

Two powerful crimson crossbows appeared in Chris’s hands, unleashing a torrential downpour of lazer arrows at the false goddess. 

**_~QUEENS INFERNO~_ **

A purple sphere of light surrounded Miku, the barrage raining down like a meteor shower that pushed her through the sky. Not wasting a second, two powerful missiles launched themselves from Chris’s shoulders.

**_~MEGA DEATH FUGA~_ **

With a flick of her wrist, the protective sphere turned into hundreds of small mirrors behind Miku, firing off a dizzying array of purple lazers. The lazers cut through the missiles like butter, erupted them into clouds of fire and smoke that swallowed her up like two angry hands.

Miku stared at the ball of smoke and fire in the sky, squinting to try and see the sniper that fired them. From within the smoke of the explosion itself however, a speeding rocket shot through them, on top of it a defiant Chris who looked at her with eyes full of hatred.

 _“It’s not going to be that easy!”_ She bellowed from her steed.

Another flick of the wrist, the hundreds of mirrors form into two powerful cables with fans on the end. Twirling like a ballerina, she smited the rocket out of the sky just as Chris leapt from it, a cable shattering in the explosion.

_Gotcha._

**_~BILLION MAIDEN~_ **

A bulletstorm from twin gatling guns rained down. Miku was just barely able to get the other cable up in time, only for it to be shattered under the sustained fire. 

“ _DIE MOTHERFUCKER!”_

The nonstop lazer-bullet hell blasted her through the night sky as twin missile launchers emerged from the archer’s sides. A barrage of twenty four missiles carried through the night air with all the intensity and fury that Chris held in her heart as it engulfed her first friend in a ball of fire.

**_~MEGA DEATH PARTY~_ **

Not missing her chance, Chris landed on one of the only still standing skyscrapers, deploying her Reflectors all around her before her feet touched the ground. Glancing towards the building she saw Tsubasa get blasted into, she dared to hope. “I’m coming, senpai. Just hold on.” 

Deploying her sniper rifle, she took aim at the thick column of smoke that hid her target. She had fought against the _Shénshòujìng_ twice before, and she knew well enough that her reflectors could only buy her a few seconds.

She swallowed the lump in her throat.

Hopefully, those few seconds would be the difference between life and death. Taking careful aim with her rifle through the plumes of smoke, she barely had time to register the four golden balls of light. 

The first one shattered half her reflectors like a baseball would a window. 

The second one blasted through the rest with such a force she was taken off her feet. 

Nothing stood between her and the third one.

It struck her square in the chest, sending her through the roof of the building and the floor below, clashing through a high rise window. A fourth ball of light blasting her in the back like a bolt of lightning. 

It was like being shot with a canon at point blank range. Her reflectors may have stood against the powerful might of _Kadingir_ , but they were no match for pure Divine Power.

She felt her Gear splinter and shatter around her in an electric firestorm, her cries of pain being lost as she fell through the night sky.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw movement.

Like a jet, Miku was there. In her hands was a large bat-like folding fan. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. She watched it raise up in a decisive arc that cut into Chris’s armor like a knife through butter. She didn’t even feel the pain until it was buried halfway into her side, a wave of blood shooting out of her mouth like vomit.

“AHHHH!”

The pain was unfathomable, like someone had taken a voodoo doll and ripped out half it’s stuffing. She was stuck on the blade of the fan, staring at Miku who looked at her curiously. Tilting the fan down, she cried out in pain as she slid off of it, her blood staining it as a futile reminder.

She tried to correct her flight, seeing the shadow above her move, she was helpless, staring into those ruby eyes.

The fan came down on the back of her head with all the power of Thor’s hammer. Shattering her headpiece, she saw flashes of black and white spots as she shot towards the ground, landing with all the force of a cannonball. 

~!~

_Stepping outside her door, Chris peered down the mansion hallways, clad in the plain shirt and jeans that the woman who called herself the end had bought her from a small convenience store on the way here._

_Here._

_This mansion._

_Not Val Verde._

_She was back in Japan._

_She was out of Hell._

_She was free._

_“Free…” The sound scared her, till she realized the sound was her voice. It was louder than she ever dared to speak, but the word left her lips, and no one was hurting her for it...._

_Dare she say it again?_

_“Free...” She whispered it like a dirty secret. She liked the sound of it leaving her lips._

_“Free.” She said in a normal voice this time, relaxing her shoulders, as if baiting for the dream to end and for her hell to resume._

_But it never did._

_“Free!” She said louder, hearing it reverberate in the hallway made her feel powerful._

_“FREE!” She shouted this time, clutching at an invisible pillow in her hands, her body shaking with a kind of energy she never knew before._

_“FREE!” She was screaming it through tears now, her legs losing the ability to support her weight._

_“I’m free! I’m free! I’m FREE, I’M FREE, I’M FREE!” She spun in circles chanting it, colliding into the wall and collapsing to the ground. She was sobbing harder than the day her parents died._

_“I’m free…I’m free….Mama….Papa…” She shut her eyes against painfully happy memories._

_“I’m free.” She curled up her knees against her chest, sobbing into them. There was a pain in her chest, a constant throbbing, working overtime, beating, pumping life into her again._

~!~

She heard a voice.

**“...I know you’ll probably yell at us for getting it for you, but Miku, well she…”**

_Miku…_

That’s right.

Miku.

Every part of her body hurt.

It took her a minute to realize she was laying face down in the middle of the street. It took all her strength to lift her head up from the rubble, feeling woozy as blood ran down the front of her face.

“Shit…”

There was a building at the end of the street. Every window in it was shattered, and from this distance she could tell that at least the first two floors of it had seemingly collapsed in on itself, almost offsetting the building completely.

Chris knew why the building was that way.

It was the building she saw her senpai be blasted into.

“Hang on...senpai, I’m-FUCK!” She shouted, lurching herself out of the hole in the ground. Her side tore open and she had the horrible sensation of feeling open air on the inside of her flesh. 

She had been cut open like a fish. She wondered if Finé had equipped the Gears to prevent someone going into shock? Because she was pretty sure she was going into shock right now.

She knew what she had to do. Her hesitation to hurt Miku meant she might as well be firing blanks, a hesitation that her first friend obviously did not hold. This was a fight to death, and Chris was pulling her punches.

“Godamnit…” She pulled herself the rest of the way out of the hole. From this distance, there was only a taxi cab and a few other vehicles between her and the building, two blocks away at most. Tsubasa was there. She knew that. She knew it in her heart of hearts that she was there and still alive.

Lightning illuminated Tokyo, a shadow with a fan-like blade hovering just behind her.

_Shit!_

“Why?” She asked uselessly.

Thunder rumbled in the distance.

“Chris.” The calm voice spoke. “I can’t answer a question if I don’t know what it is you’re asking” She giggled. “You really can be so silly sometimes.”

“Shut up…” Chris made it to her knees, but that was all the strength she had. “Just...tell me why. Why is any of this happening?” She demanded, keeping her back turned. Blocking out the pain, she took a deep breath and listened.

Lightning lit up the sky once more, the shadow of Miku being illuminated once again. She listened for her voice, feeling the soft gentle godlike echoes as it carried over the sound of thunder.

_Come on I know you all love to talk._

“I am only trying to help you all realize your beautiful dream. Peace, and harmony, through the language of song. A world where no one has to suffer, because they could not understand each other.” Her voice was melodic, almost relaxing, like a lullaby. “A world where everything could be solved, if we just talked to one another.”

“Talk is cheap.”

 **_RED HOT BLAZE_ **was both a blessing and a curse. It felt like it took ages to aim properly. It was in theory, the perfect shot. Taking into account every possible angle, redundancy, variable, wind resistance and even potential target trajectory. All it needed was a clean line of sight on the target, and it would hit as sure as the sun would rise. The drawback of course was the processing time in order to properly analyze every single aspect of the environment necessary to properly calculate the math to inform it’s adapter when to take the perfect shot.

So Chris just did it in her head.

Squeezing the trigger as she spun around, the rifle shot like a cannon; knocking her several feet backwards as it met its destination. Miku was a perfect target, the bullet shattering through her fan and chest, exploding out her back in a vicious bloodsport. There was a look of shock and betrayal on her face that haunted Chris. She watched the girl who once saved her life fly backwards in an arc and land with a wet thud.

Miku was dead.

Chris was here.

Chris was present.

Chris was alive.

And Miku was dead.

Lying in a pool of her own blood, she threw her sniper rifle away like it was contaminated. She couldn't stop the tears from coming, and a sob tore through her body, echoing louder then even the loudest cry of thunder.

 **_“_ ** _FUCK!”_

She shoved her palms against her eyes, chest heaving as an ache filled the void in her chest where her heart used to be. It hurt. It hurt more than anything she ever knew.

“ _FUCK!”_ She slammed her fists into the ground, unable to get up. _“FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!”_ She couldn't even summon the strength to get off the ground, kicking and screaming on the street like a small child throwing a temper tantrum.

She’d done it.

She killed her.

She fucking killed her. 

She fucking murdered her first friend. Her best friend. She was fucking dead and there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing she could do about it because she fucking did it. 

“Chris…”

She always said Chris’s name like that. Slow, measured, like it was the most important thing to say in the world.

“No…”

Somehow, she found the strength to sit up. To her dawning horror, she bore witness to Miku coming to her feet, a hole the size of her head in the middle of her chest.

“It breaks my heart to see how much pain you have known.” An infinite series of golden circles erupted from her, a technicolor rainbow withinn, containing an endless amount of alternative Miku’s before they slammed back to her. 

The hole in her chest was gone..

“But it’s okay now Chris.” She began to float down towards her. “Because even after all this time…”

A wave of blue electricity passed over Chris. She saw the false goddess lift her hand to block the **_AZURE FLASH_ **in a powerful eruption.

 _“Yukine!_ Quickly!”

Miku shielded her eyes from the explosion, straining to see over the sleeves of her Faust Robe.

Chris shot off like a bullet, bleeding from the back of her head, her Gear sparking and smoking from the toll of battle. Far too damaged to fly, it could only barely keep her alive as she sprinted across the ruined street that served as their battlefield. 

She saw Tsubasa crawling out from under the rubble of the collapsed building. She was limping, with what looked like a piece of rebar piercing through her kneecap.

_“Senpai!”_

Chris charged forward with new found strength, firing back at Miku from her magnums, gritting her teeth at how the goddess just casually deflected them. If Miku was bothered by the battle with the two wielders at all she didn’t show it, following her in a graceful pursuit. 

“Yukine! Just go! Do not come for me!” She screamed out in desperation, unable to support her own weight enough to help her kohai, let alone fight.

“Shut up!” Chris shouted as lightning lit up the night sky of what was once the great city of Tokyo. She fell against a burnt out taxi, smearing blood down the cab door. 

This was fucking pointless.

She was banged up, half dead, Tsubasa was even worse. Miku was bar-

“Chris…”

She was starting to get sick of people saying her name like that.

“Don’t you fucking use her voice!” Full of fire, she propped herself against the taxi and fired.

And fired.

And fired. And fired and fired and fired and fired and fired until the revolver went click.

 _“Don’t you ever fucking use her voice!”_ Chris screamed tearfully, sliding backwards against the cab, catching herself before she hit the ground. She could barely bring herself to look at Miku now.

What fucking happened? 

Why was the world like this? 

Where was everyone else? 

Why was Finé back too? 

Why couldn’t she be happy?

For _once?_

“It’s my voice, Chris. Shem-Ha is gone. You know that, we stopped her together, remember?” Miku said gently, lowering herself to the ground.

Tears stung her eyes.

Why did it have to be Miku? 

What fucking cruel god of irony decided to stab her in the heart with one of the only people she trusted her heart to?

This didn’t even feel like Miku anymore. 

The coldness, the invisible threat of violence, the fake voice full of love. And her own incredible desire to throw herself around her, to beg to be taken back, to please, to accept her own inferiority in exchange for security.

That wasn’t Miku.

That was Finé.

Only it wasn’t. 

“I know you’re hurting.” Miku’s voice was like a melody. “You’ve been hurting for so long Chris.” Hearing those words purr in her ear made her feel warm inside. “I don’t want to hurt you. I never did.” 

_Of course you didn’t. I’m sorry for ever thinking you did._

“I want to give you another chance to live your dream.” _Another chance? She’s willing to give something like me another chance?_

“To give you life.”

_The door was open._

“A life shining in silver.”

 _She can smell gas. She can hear gunfire. The driver who told her everything was going to be okay is bleeding out of the hole in his head where his face used to be._  
  
“A monument to all your beliefs, to show the world throughout history that you stood…”

_“Take my hand!” There’s fire. There’s smoke. There is pain, but there is a hand. Reaching out for her._

Miku closed her eyes, clasping her hands over her heart. “For your beautiful dream.”

Chris loved her so much. The girl who protected her. The girl who saved her life. The girl who saw her. Who didn’t question. Who didn’t judge. Who only cared. Who made her feel real. The girl who understood. The girl who would never ask her to sing, but would always listen to her songs.

The girl she had to kill.

Standing up, she reloaded her magnums, before aiming point blank at the center of Miku’s forehead. Tsubasa’s voice interrupted her execution.

“Kohinata! It’s me! Face me! I am the one you want!” Her desperate pleas reverberated from down the street. Her leg was unable to support her weight as she limped from rubble to car. Not a single one of them thought she would make it there in time.

Tsubasa included.

Miku opened her eyes. Staring down the barrel of _Ichaival._ “Will you let me fulfill your beautiful dream Chris?” She asked, seeing the tears in Chris’s eyes.

_Do you ever scare yourself Chris?” Miku asked, eyes locked on the steam rising from her cup._

“You were my first f-friend.” Chris’s voice was shaking. She could still feel her hands on her back, rubbing away the sores of Finé’s torture. Never asking, never questioning. Letting her exist. Letting her be. Letting her live. “I just...w-wish I c-could have saved you too.”

Miku reached her hand out, taking the barrel of the magnum in her hands and pressing it against her forehead. Chris trembled, so Miku put her other hand on her wrist, steadying her aim.

“Yukine Chris.” God she loved the way that she said her name. 

_Miku smiled, stroking the top of Chris’s hand. “You have nothing to be worried about Chris. I’ll be right there in the front row. If you start to feel bad, just look at me, okay?”_

Chris sobbed, looking at the red eyed girl with all the love in the world. She could feel her own life running out of her sides like tears in the rain.

“My wonderful friend with a beautiful dream.”

_“Your parents are so proud of you right now Chris. We all are.” Miku reassured her, squeezing her hand comfortingly._

“You have suffered so much in such a small amount of time.” At this point, Miku was crying too.

_“Chris, we’re the lucky ones.”_

“I wish I could undo all the pain you endured and make every second of suffering go away. I wish I could have given you a chance at a happier life.” Miku said. Chris sobbed, the gun still held firmly in place.

_“Shit! Someone get over here! She’s going into shock!”_

“But I can’t. I can only make sure that nothing like that ever happens again. That is my dream Chris.” Her words held all the power of every god known to man. “You will be unbreakable in silver, as you were in life, never to be hurt again. A lifetime of pain and suffering, at long last, over.” Her voice was truly beautiful, filling her with more guilt and heartache than two straight years in Finé’s mansion ever did. 

_“Transition. To change from one state to the other.”_

“I was never there for you, like you were for me.” It was her biggest regret, burdening those with her issues, while doing nothing to unburden them of their own.

“It’s okay.” Miku said, reaching her hand out, catching Chris’s tears under her thumbs as she cupped her cheek. 

She felt small. 

_Miku tilted her head at her with a sly grin. “I’m good at keeping secrets Chris.”_

The hands held her face, steadying her maelstrom of emotions, as she peered deep into those beautiful ruby eyes that she hated to see on the one she loved so much.

She was under lock and key.

And that was just fine.

“I never wanted you to be.” 

She stared deep into those bottomless ruby eyes that she knew used to be emerald. Those beautiful crimson spheres that she wished were gold now. Just.bLook at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at her. Look at he-

A blade flew over Chris’s shoulder, embedding itself into Miku’s cheek, the edge of the blade cutting into the back of her throat. 

Chris blinked out of her trance, looking behind her, seeing Tsubasa using her sword as a crutch, dragging her useless leg behind her. “Run, Yukine! Now!”

She remembered the taste of spaghetti on her lips as her senpai angrily denounced her unwillingness to say her name. The heat of shame on her cheeks as she realized she accidentally flashed Miku the first day she met her. The anger at her inability to protect her kohai.

She remembered it all. 

She felt it all.

She felt it now.

Miku could only sigh, pulling the blade from her cheek and dropping it behind her. “Such a bother…” She felt Chris try to pull away, but she kept her grip on her hand firm. “Chris-”

“Let me go!” She angrily demanded, rage burning in her heart.

“I will take care of Tsubasa, then we will make your dream come true.”

“No!” Chris slapped her hard, the sound like a gunshot. “Let go of me!” She had been bound by those more powerful than her all her life, she would not be bound now. 

“Chris…”

“Armor Purge!” Chris’s body exploded. _Ichaival_ turned into shrapnel that ripped through Miku’s body like bullets. She landed hard on the ground, while the goddess was suspended like a puppet in midair by her stunt.

The loss of blood was making her faint, but she could still see. Still see her senpai, on her wounded knee, desperately making her way towards her.

Now she couldn’t be looking like she was slacking on the job in front of senpai. 

If senpai could stand, so could she.

Like an arrow released from it’s bow, she was off. Sprinting in the way that Miku had done for years, the rain doing nothing to slow her down. She could see her senpai. She could make it to her.

She would make it to her.

Tsubasa’s painful limping made her forget her injuries. Made her forget everything. She just had to get to her. Get to her and they would stand against Miku together. Get together and they would bring her down together. She was not going to give up on the girl who taught her not to give up on herself.

A powerful energy surged through her, carrying her footsteps through bloodstained streets. She would make it.

She knew she would. 

“Yukine! Watch out!” Tsubasa screamed. She was running as fast as she could on one leg, and Chris knew that made her a painfully easy target. 

In the reflection of a car windshield, she saw it. The godlike outer physics energy, that could turn solid matter into silver. And even in the reflection, she could tell that Miku wasn’t aiming it at her.

Looking over her shoulder to get the angle just right, she leapt forward, shoving her senpai out of the way at the last moment.

 _“Senpai!”_ She put all her weight into that last mighty shove, looking into those blue eyes, filled with agony and betrayal.

How could she communicate it?

How do you tell someone that you’d rather die than let anything bad happen to them?

Oh god.

She was going to die.

~!~

_“There there honey, it’s all right.” Finé said reassuredly, pushing a bowl of yaki udon towards her. “Eat, please. You’ll feel better.”_

_Chris stared into the bowl of steaming and delicious looking noodles with pure gluttony. Her stomach loudly voiced her longing desire to eat it with wild abandon, but she couldn’t will herself to move. She was stuck, staring into the delicious bowl like it was a cruel joke._

_“Oh for goodness’ sake.” Finé said exasberbated. Taking a pair of chopsticks and expertly woving some noodles from the bowl, she flawlessly tousled them into her mouth with a loud slurp. “See? Not poisoned, now eat!”_

_She flinched at the order, but quickly obeyed. Forgoing the chopsticks and grabbing a soup spoon she quickly inhaled her soup, eyes watering as it burned down her throat. She got halfway done when a hand slammed down on the table, jittering the silverware off the table._

_“Slow down!” Finé ordered. Chris’s utensils were on the table in an instant, which just made the already frustrated older woman rub her temples. “I didn’t say stop, I said slow down. I’m not going to take the food from you.” She said with a tone of clear irritation. “It tastes good. Enjoy it. You don’t have a time limit to eat it.” She said before turning back and walking to the end of the dining room table to finish her own meal._

_Chris did her best to heed Finé’s words, but she still ate the food at a rapid pace. She had never been so hungry in her entire life. It was like the bulgogi dinner she had last night had reminded her what food was like and now she needed it more than she needed air._

_“They have you trained like a fucking dog huh?” Finé said dryly._

_That bugged her._

_That really bugged her._

_“No...I’m free.” Chris said slowly, looking up from her bowl. She felt something she had not felt in a long time, something she barely recognized. She felt...rebellious?_

_“Oh?” Finé said sardonically. “Is that a fact? So free you have to have me poison test everything first?”_

_“I don’t trust you!”_

_“Good!” Finé said, raising her voice, making Chris shrink back. “Don’t trust me! After all, I could just as easily pimp you out as I could kill you right now.” She declared, tossing a sushi roll in her mouth. “But I am not going to do either on an empty stomach. You shouldn’t either.”_

_“So what if I do?”_

_Finé threw her hands up. “Then starve! I did my best to save you! Can’t do anything if you refuse to save yourself!”_

_Chris felt energy she didn’t know was possible for someone to have. She felt herself standing up, glaring at Finé, but really no one in particular. “I don’t need you to poison test anything!” She barked loudly from the other end of the table._

_“Is that so?” Finé said with a raised eyebrow._

_“Yeah!” She said flustered. Walking around the table, she grabbed a loaf of bread. It was warm in her hands, but it felt like poison to touch. What if it was drugged? What if she woke up back in hell? Freedom revoked?_

_“Be careful! It might be poisoned!” Finé said mockingly._

_Chris tried to not let her words get to her._

_They got to her._

_“Si c'est assez bien pour que Jean Valjean aille en prison c'est assez bien pour moi!” She said defiantly taking a huge chomp out of the bread loaf._

_Finé looked at her with the most curious of expressions. “Tell me how a whore from Val Verde knows not only French, but also 19th century French literature?”_

_Chris finished scarfing down the load of bread. “The book made a good pillow.” She crawled up onto the table, grabbing some of the freshly served duck. She had never seen such a wide variety of foods before her in her entire life. If this truly was good enough to be believed, then she was in heaven._

_“Look at you. You are quite the cunning linguist aren’t you?”_

_Chris’s hands stopped mid tear of the duck, shaking like a leaf under Finé’s intense gaze. “So you do want me to do stuff.” She said, forcing herself to look at Finé._

_That flash of rebellion that had been in her extinguished like a match in the ocean._

_Finé looked genuinely surprised. “You are a sharp one aren’t you?” She remarked, sitting up from her chair and making her way around the table towards her. Chris felt like a zebra being slowly circled by a lion._

_“It was too good to be true.” She spoke her thoughts aloud, alarmed at her own words._

_Finé continued her little march until she was in front of Chris, turning quickly and leaning onto the table. Their faces were inches apart and she was immediately taken aback by how beautiful the woman was. Voluptuous, with rich golden eyes and matching hair that went down past her buttocks. She almost looked fake, like one of the idolized women she would hear her pimps insist they had slept with overseas._

_Finé’s golden eyes went up and down her body in a way all too familiar, before the predatory look was replaced with one of almost childlike mischief. “Oh will you relax!” She laughed, waving a hand as if swatting a fly. “I have never seen someone so serious and young as you.” She reached her hand out, cupping her face that rooted her to the spot._

_“Oh…”_

_“You were right this morning when you said you were free.” The finger stroking her cheek was like a livewire. “You are no captive here Chris. I only ask for you to please understand that I want you to be safe, and I humbly ask you to stay here until the heat around my rescuing of you has died down.” She found herself leaning into the hand, the touch so alien, yet so welcome. “Until then, my home is your home. Eat my food, watch my television, read my books. Just…” Her eyes softened, looking at her in a totally new way that made Chris feel strangely pleasant. “Let me protect you. You’ve been gone for six years, I don’t want you to get taken back okay?”_

_She took her hand away, and if Chris had not been stunned to the spot she would have grabbed it. She was speechless, sitting on the table surrounded by more food then she had ever seen in her life. “I…” She started, looking up helplessly as Finé walked away. “I still can’t believe it was six years.”_

_Finé turned to look back at her sympathetically. “You were six when you were taken, yes?” Chris nodded. “And fourteen when I saved you?”_

_She shrugged. “News to me. That’s how old they said I was when I got here.”_

_This time, it was Finé’s turn to look rooted to the spot. “You didn’t know how old you were?”_

_Chris hesitated, before shaking her head._

_“For eight years, you didn’t even know how old you were?”_

_“I didn’t even know it had been eight years.” Chris said, feeling very small. She tried not to remember the times when she would spend more months inside a single room then out._

_“No wonder you had time to learn French. Did you teach yourself?”_

_“Oui.”_

_Finé grinned. “Of all books to use to do it, you picked the one long enough that it’d take you eight years to read.”_

_“Jean Valjean’s relatable…” Chris mumbled, feeling insecure._

_“Is that so? Tell me, how is he relatable to you 24601?” Finé asked in a faux French accent._

_This time, Chris glared at her, the rebellious flame lit once more. “Because I can understand what it feels like to to crawl through endless rivers of shit.”_

_~!~_

Chris didn’t want to wake up.

Rolling over in bed, she couldn’t help but wrap her arm around her lover. Nuzzling her face into the woman’s hair, Chris breathed in her lovely familiar scent like it was that of a heavenly fragrance. 

“Hmmm, good morning Chris.” She always said Chris’s name like that. Slow, measured, like it was the most important thing to say in the world. A gentle hand taking hers, she could not help but smile against the back of her neck. 

“Good morning to you too.” Chris said kissing the back of her neck, making her giggle at the sensation.

“Chris! Stop that,” Miku giggled as she turned over to face her.“What am I gonna do with you?” She said lovingly, stroking the girl’s long hair.

“Whatever you want.” Chris said, staring longingly into those ruby eyes she loved so much.

Miku could only laugh, “I swear, you’re as insatiable as ever!” She looked over the clock with reluctance. “Unfortunately, I only have you for another hour.” There was a sadness to her voice, a desire at wanting more.

“You could always add time you know.” Chris said, her voice betraying the hope she was holding out.

Miku looked at her sadly, “Now Chris,” She laughed awkwardly. This was always the hardest part. “I do have a girlfriend you know. Let’s keep this professional okay?” She said in a tone that made it clear that if it wasn’t the case she’d be having a word with her pimp.

“Yes. Of course, I’m sorry.” Chris said, trying not to let the hurt show on her face.

_Everyone was the same._

The drive back into town was long and hot. The summers in _Val Verde_ always were, but it seemed to be especially bad today. Chris could feel the bugs crawling up and down her skin, even in the confines of the small pink car that Miku was so fond of.

“Don’t look so glum! I promise I will rent you out again soon.” Miku said, squeezing her knee comfortingly. “Who knows! Maybe the old man will let me rent you out for a month!”

Chris’s breath hitched at that, looking at her with hope. “You’d do that?” She felt like her heart was going to burst.

She winked at her, “In a heartbeat.” She said leaning back in the driver’s seat. “Just gotta wait for the wife to be out of town again, just a matter of time.” She was beaming from ear to ear, and in no time at all they had pulled up to _Highton View Terrace._

The tall complex towered over the rest of the town, Miku dragging Chris along by the collar, far from an unfamiliar sight in the heart of the village.

“Miku-kun!” Genjuro’s booming voice called out in delight. “There’s a late fee for being tardy with the goods. don’t you know!” He laughed at his own joke, Miku giggling with him.

“My dearest apologies Kazanari-san.” Miku bowed respectfully, “It just did not want to get out of bed this morning.” She said with a laugh, handing Chris’s chain to the older man.

“It’s no worry, I’ll just deduct the charges from its pay!”

Genjuro laughed.

So did Miku.

Chris wanted to laugh too.

After all she never got paid.

_Wait…_

_No…_

_This is wrong…_

“No…”

The smile and friendliness in Genjuro’s eyes died in an instant, looking at her with righteous anger. “Oh? You think Kohinata-san should pay instead?”

“No.”

“Dear me, she seems to be awfully confused.” Miku said with bitterness.

“I think you owe Ms. Kohinata-san here an apology.” His voice was as threatening as a gun. He quickly wrapped the chain around his fist and yanked Chris forward.

“NO!” 

She ripped the chain back, pulling him to his feet, a look of dangerous wrath painting his face. The face of a stranger, a cruel imitation of a man she knew would never look at her like that.

“Now you listen to me-”

“ _NO!”_ Chris screamed at him, ripping the chain out of his hands so hard it swung back behind her like a whip. “You listen to me you son of a bitch.” She stared down both of them, a powerful feeling swelling in her chest.

“I said No.”

She felt a weight around her neck. A familiar one.

_Ichaival._

She opened her eyes. She didn't even realize she closed them.

_Highton View Terrace._

The chain was gone, her violin in its place now.

Her back was to the stairs. She didn’t need to look to know what was behind her.

To know who was behind her.

“Chris.” She turned to see the nude woman, descending down the steeper steps. 

“Finé.” 

Gold eyes met lavender. Eons apart. Finé’s face was soft, kind, eyes full of compassion that one could only get from years of great pain.

“Can you forgive me Chris?”

Hope. Hope on the edge of the lips that she missed so much. 

“I don’t think I can.”

Her eyes stung with tears. She hated it. Just like before, when Finé disintegrated before her own eyes, all she could do was cry. How couldn’t she?

“Please Chris.” Finé had tears in her eyes too, little droplets falling onto the floor like rain. “If you could only give me one thing, please give me your understanding.”

There was a knot in Chris’s throat.

“Finé…” It was welling in her throat now. “I ca...why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me?” It was like some razor clawed fiend had seized her heart, and was splitting it in two.

“We all have our role to play in life Chris.” The words made her open her eyes again, looking up at the woman she called savior. “This is mine.” Leaning forward as if to kiss her, she went to her ear. “Chris...do you know who cast you in the role you are in now?”

“You did.” She said with finality. 

She could never escape Finé. 

She never had.

“No Chris, my beautiful darling.” 

_What?_

Finé put both hands on either side of her face. She moaned at the touch, not moving away, squirming into the embrace of the hands she had missed so much. “This is no longer my story.” She looked as sad as Chris had ever seen her. “Nor is it yours.”

_Was Finé...helping her?_

“What’s my role?” She asked, looking her in the eyes.

“Lady Macbeth.”

_What? They never teach you kids any fucking Shakespeare?_

She’s inside that bathroom mirror now. Looking at her own grinning face, and the girl behind her, breaking out into laughter. The girl with emerald eyes that she adored so much.

_I’ve been bad. I’m sorry Chris._

“No…” Chris sobbed.

_Is something wrong Chris?_

“I’m so sorry Chris.” Finé held her close, the young girl sobbing her heart out against her.

_I’m good at keeping secrets Chris._

“No...no….” Chris moaned into Fine’s embrace. “Please...please tell me it’s you.”

_But you told me not to lie Chris!_

“I wish it was me Chris. I wish it was so much.”

_Chris...this isn’t about Shem-Ha_

_“NOI!”_ Chris screamed it to the heavens. To space. To hell. To everywhere and anywhere and all that was in between.

_The door was open._

_Terrifying explosions rocked Tokyo all day and night._

_The door was open._

_She could recognize the voices of her friends._

_The door was open._

_Sometimes the last thing she’d hear was their screams._

_The door was open._

_Sometimes they wouldn’t even get a chance to scream._

_The door was open._

_She’d be free if she was dead._

_The door was open._

_And she could see out of it._

_A girl in front of her. Black hair, emerald eyes that burned with embers of resolve._

_“Miku...please.”_

_Those ruby eyes held a smirk in them._

_“Do you ever scare yourself Chris?”_

_The door was shut._

_~!~_

**“It was like torture. They stopped letting me go to school. My mom wanted me to stop going outside. She was scared for me. Especially when dad left. We didn’t have anything.”**

_Who was talking…_

**“Coming to Lydian was the scariest thing I ever did. I stopped noticing how miserable I was. How depressed I was. I was so worried about mom, grandma, dad, Miku…”**

_Miku…_

**“It was horrible. But it was okay. Because it was horrible to me. Not to anyone else. At least, that’s what I thought. I guess you’d call me a dummy right now huh? Who could care about the girl who killed everybody right?”**

_Someone’s crying…_

**“But people did care! Mom, grandma and Miku...and I came here. It was so scary Chris. I wanted to die. I wanted to die rather than face a new way to be hurt. But Miku…”**

_Every play needs a director_

**“It was scary, but I did it. I did it, even though it was so scary. Chris, it was the best thing I ever did. I found my sunny spot. I found my best friends. I found my mentors. I found the song in my heart.”**

_Believe in the song in your heart._

**“And I found you Chris.”**

_Don’t cry dummy…_

**“When we first met, things were so bad. I knew I could get through to you.”**

_What is that fucking beeping sound…._

**“I told you I’d tell you my weight when we were better friends. And we are Chris. You’re my best friend. I love you so much Chris, and I want you to be my best friend forever.”**

_Is she crying? Or laughing?_

“ **One hundred and twenty three pounds, or fifty five kilograms. I forget which system you used. You’re always so smart. You’d probably have everything figured out by now huh?”**

She could see the ceiling, and the head on her stomach, the crying orange head of hair sobbing into her stomach. She was in the infirmary, deep within SONG HQ.

And this time she did want to wake up.

She needed to tell her.

That everything was all right.

She raised her hand, to the oxygen mask on her face, pulling it off with the last bit of strength she had.

“Hibiki…” Chris said.

Hibiki jumped, looking up at her with pools of tears in her eyes, that turned to desperate relief. “You! You dummy!” She squealed, throwing her arms around Chris as she sobbed into her shoulder with all the agonizing grief in the world.

And in that moment, was the others flooded in with tears, questions, and concern, she knew one thing for certain.

She was in the place she could call home.


	7. Where's Shirabe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I may have gotten Final Fantasy 7 xD A million apologies for how long this took, but I hope you guys enjoys. Heads up for some pretty frank discussion about sexual abuse, and some rather light body horror.

The cold Christmas winds blew harshly against the apartment’s lone window. It was a small cramped space, the futon messily covered with empty sake glasses and half eaten food. There was nary any furniture in the cramped space, save for a bedside table beneath the window sill, and a television that rested on the floor. A dark kitchen housed a small sink with dishes that had not been cleaned in months and a fridge that contained endless uneaten leftover takeout.

If you were to ask Condamnée Jeanne about what her apartment was like, she would describe it as a piece of shit. If her coworkers at _Takashi Noodle_ ever knew where she lived, they’d be positively horrified, and for good reason. She couldn’t imagine the looks on their faces if she told them this wasn’t even the worst place she lived.

But that wasn’t on her mind right now.

Because today was Christmas.

The brunette sat in front of the tiny Christmas tree, the only blanket she owned wrapped around her. Besides the pale moonlight, the small blinking red star on top of the tree was the only source of light in the room. The tree was half the size of her TV, and could probably be mistaken for a dying plant, but to Jeanne, it was her most prized possession. 

The last thing she and her sister had ever gotten together.

“Merry Christmas Mel.” She whispered, pulling the small gift out of her blanket, pushing it under the tree. The world’s shittiest Christmas tree had no ornaments, no garlin, no wreaths. Just a little red blinking star and a picture of the two sisters. The only picture she had of the two of them. It was an old picture from when she was just a little girl in a horrible place. Back then she had two adorable red ribbons in her hair, and just hanging on her arm was little Mell. So small, and despite everything, so innocent, with her auburn hair and little red hair pins to hold her hair behind her ears.

Cute as a button. 

Dead as a doornail.

The picture was torn in half, right at where Jeanne’s right wrist began. In their haste, they had been unable to grab much during their escape, but she did grab the picture. And she made sure to tear that evil little bitch out of it. If she never had to remember that face for the rest of her life it would be too soon.

She carefully traced her fingers over the photograph, looking at the little girl she used to be. The little girl who she could never be again. She had scars running up and down her hands and arms, a few on her cheeks and neck as well. Some self inflicted, some done by others, but which were which even she wouldn’t know.

But by far the biggest difference between the girl in the picture and the girl now, was her missing eye. Her eyepatch went over her temple, which she managed to cover most of the time with hair. Beneath lied only a terrible scar from the night she lost her eye. Oh how she remembered the pain, the heat, and her own little sister desperately trying to tell her everything was going to be okay.

Little sisters weren't meant to do that.

Of course now she’d never have to worry about that again.

Crying hurt. It always did. But she would always cry on Christmas.

Taking the photo off the tree, she curled up around it, like the little girl she was all those years ago.

And on that Christmas night, she would rest there, as close to her sister as she could ever be again. She would fall asleep, and wake back up for another miserable day of her life, never noticing the blond woman who watched her descend into steeper slumber.

~!~

“C. F. T. D. H.”

“Good! Can you cover your left eye now and read the second to bottom row on the right hand side?”

Chris sighed, obeying Elfnein’s orders as she covered her eye and began to read off the next row. “F. O. R. H. P. D.” She sighed again, long having become bored of this. “Are we done yet?”

“Just one last row and then we are all set. This time, read the entire row, with your left eye covered still.” The world’s most adorable doctor said, keeping track of everything on her little clipboard.

Chris grinned to herself, sitting up straighter and beginning to read off exactly what she saw. “M.O.T.H.E.R.F.U.C-”  
  
“Hey!” Elfnein protested. “Take this seriously.” She huffed, crossing her arms at her patient who leaned back on the hospital bed wiIth a shit eating grin.

“My eyes are fine shrimp.” Chris reassured her. “I ain’t shootin shit if I can’t see in front of my face. If something’s wrong with my eyes, you’ll be the first to know.” She gave her a wink, which did help make her feel better.

“Well, you were passing your vision test anyway.” Elfnein scratched off the last bit on her clipboard. “Well, the good news is that everything seems to be fine.” She pointed with her remote, turning the lights back on in the room as the projector screen went up.

Chris’s very sudden awakening from her coma had caught them all by happy surprise. They were far from ill prepared, but the surprise caused a full hands on deck to help stabilize her after the initial shock of waking up caught up with her. Nevertheless, while she was in and out of consciousness for basically the entire day, they were able to keep her stable enough so that she was not likely to fall back into a comatose state.

Then came the tests. MRI’s, CT scans, CAT scans, and a whole bunch of other tests that Chris did not even try to keep track of. Hardly abnormal for them given how often they used to run into open combat, but it barely registered for her. She barely remembered any of the tests, not out of blocking it out, but because she was on so many painkillers she was higher than the time she was in the literal space.

Soon after the tests were done, came the questions. The standard, did she know who she was, where she was, etc, etc. Everything was fairly standard, and once they were able to figure out that she knew who and where she was, they lowered the severity of the observation and let the others see her. The Old Man was first, and while he was a clever son of a bitch, he did not have her fooled whatsoever. He may have brought her some pudding to eat with her as they sat back and watched cartoons from his childhood, but the destination of the conversation was never in doubt.

_"It’s hazy.” She had started in her explanation. “I remember playing in the stairwell, and she was there. She had what looked like Solomon’s Cane, and well, she was naked.” She found it hard to meet his eyes when she said that. “She talked some shit. I remember reaching for Ichaival and then…” She thought back, trying to get her brain to remember the details by force. All it did was make it feel like she was trying to shit. “And then nothing. I don’t know if I blocked it out or what.”_

_Genjuro nodded, handing her another cup of pudding. “The important thing is that you’re safe.” He said in the way only he could, opening up his own pudding cup. “If she wants to try anything again, she’ll have her work cut out for her.”_

_“Don’t make it more appealing to her.” Chris said in a mouthful of pudding, the cartoon cat on screen being electrocuted by a mishap of one of it’s traps. “You know she likes a challenge.”_

_“That would make two of us.” Genjuro said nodding, finishing up his pudding cup._

_“Three.” She said with a smirk and leaning back. She fell asleep like that. Half finished pudding cup in her hand, leaning against Genjuro who would pick her up and tuck her into the hospital bed. He’d sit himself against the door and finish his guard duty, his niece sleeping just on the other side. Neither Kazanari was willing to leave Chris’s side, even for an instant._

_Chris pretended to be annoyed when she learned about it, but at the same time she couldn’t remember a time she felt safer while in a bed that wasn’t hers._

Well. That wasn’t exactly true.

 **“** Chris-chan!”

The dummy sprinted from the door and wrapped her arms around her neck in an excited hug. “Oi! Get off me!” Chris barked, pushing Hibiki away who just grinned sheepishly at her.

“Chris-chan’s feeling better!” 

“Not with you hanging off me like that!” She protested.

“Chris-chan’s definitely feeling better!” Hibiki squealed in delight, wrapping her up in a hug again. To her own shock, Chris let it happen. It must have been a small miracle that her skin didn’t crawl at her friend’s touch, and dare she say it, she enjoyed the embrace.

“Hibiki! Be careful!” Miku’s stern words came with her as he entered the room. But all it took was one look at Chris to soften her expression into one of intense relief. “Chris…”

_She always says my name like that…_

“Hey…” Chris fumbled out. It wasn’t abnormal for her heart to skip a beat to see Miku, but this time felt… different.

“Miku! Chris-chan’s all better now!” She said happily, throwing an arm around Chris and giving her girlfriend a victory sign. “She’s all better now! And we can have a birthday party!”

“LIKE HELL!” Chris barked in Hibiki’s ear. It covered up the sound of Miku sprinting towards them, until the girl threw her arms around Chris in a tight bearhug.

“Miku!” Hibiki gasped.

“I’m so glad…” Miku whimpered into her ear. She shook with quiet but heavy sobs against her, and slowly, but surely, she returned the embrace. “I thought we lost you.”

“You didn’t.” Chris reassured her, gently rubbing up and down her back. “I’m right here.” She fought through the nausea Miku’s touch brought, tightening her grip around the girl.

“Don’t lie Chris.” She feverishly whispered in her ear. It was a desperate, begging whisper. The kind that Chris remembered making to any god that would listen to her long ago. She remembered every one of those nights that those whispers fell on deaf ears.

She refused to be as cruel.

“Oi. Look at me.” She gripped the girl by the shoulders. Those beautiful emerald eyes stared back at her, and she wasn’t sure if she felt love or fear. “What did I tell you the other day?” She let the question hang there, Miku’s eyes searching hers for any possible answer.

“...I don’t kno-”

“Nobody killed me.” Chris said defiantly, giving her a gentle smirk. “I’m here. With you, and this idiot.” She jerked her head at a concerned looking Hibiki, who placed a comforting hand on Miku’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry…” Miku said, wiping her eyes dry after Chris released her. “I’m being so silly…”

“Miku stop it!” Hibiki’s loud and direct voice was like a slap to the face of both girls. She sounded passionate, righteous almost, if not borderline aggressive. “You are not being silly.” The thunder behind her words felt familiar, so familiar it took Chris a minute to realize that the Old Man really was rubbing off on the girl.

“Hibiki-oh!” Miku could not even get the words out before her girlfriend had her face in her hands.

“She’s okay.” Hibiki promised, resting her forehead against Miku’s. “See?” She turned Miku’s face to see Chris, who was not more than a full foot away from them. “Any second now she’s gonna tell us to do this at home, and that’s okay. Because she’s okay. Because we’re okay. Because you’re okay.” As the words left her lips, she brought their lips together.

A pang of envy shot through Chris, turning away from the intimate moment. She’d never be jealous of Hibiki, not in a hundred years. Her two best friends were happy, in love, and together, and she was so ungodly happy for them. But god fucking damnit if this wasn’t the hundred-and-first year.

Her butt was going numb, so she scooted back to lay herself out on the hospital bed again. It was at this point that she saw Elfnein, still at her desk, looking quite uncomfortable and embarrassed to be there. Making eye contact with her made the adorable blonde chirp, and quickly hide her head and Chris could not help but throw her head back in laughter.

In all of their emotional unloading they had completely forgotten that Elfnein was still in the room. Chris’s raucous laughter broke Hibiki and Miku out of their intimate embrace, looking at the convulsing archer before also realizing that Elfnein was still in the room.

“Elfnein-chan!” Hibiki shrieked, startled, while Miku just hid her face in her hands.

“I’m not here!” Elfnein squealed, desperately burying her red face in her desk.

“Hey Doc, I thought I was the one supposed to be getting the physical!” Chris said with a grin as she put her hands behind her head.

Hibiki’s look of desperate panic was priceless. “Physical? What does that mean? We have to get a physical? Ahehehe!” She awkwardly scratched the back of her head, looking as beat red as Elfnein did.

“So you guys want ten minutes or…” Chris drawed out, grinning at Hibiki, but keeping Miku in the corner of her eye. Even through her blushed face she had buried in her hands, she could see the girl was trying not to laugh. You’d never think she was hugging Chris after thinking she would never wake up again.

_All in a day's work._

But then the vague memory of a dream lurked in the back of her mind _._ She took another glance, just as Miku finally took her hand away from her face laughing, making some kind of joke. There was nothing but joy on the girl’s face.

_I’m good at keeping secrets, Chris._

~!~

_“I’m not cooking for them!”_

Jeanne pushed past her boss, the other kitchen staff members looking at the one eyed brunette with concern.

“Condamnée-san, why are you-”

“ _I already told you I'm not fucking doing it!”_ She screamed, loud enough for some customers to turn their heads in the direction. The noodle shop was a small affair, a nice warm place for you to pile into and have soup on a cold winter day like today.

Takashi Saeki was a patient man. He had known Jeanne since she moved back to Tokyo. He knew she had a troubled life, and from what he heard from his employees, her personal life was often a mess. Yet, she had always been incredibly nice with him, incredibly punctual, incredibly reliable. They had a friendly repertoire, both enjoying poking fun at each other. 

But her yelling at him in front of the other employees and customers was not something he could tolerate.

“Condamnée-san, calm down. Please-” Before he could take another step forward she shoved against his chest, knocking the old man to the floor.

“ _You can’t make me!”_ She yelled, backing up into some pots and pans. A thunderous symphony of metal ringing throughout the restaurant as they spilled all over the floor, bringing with it an abrupt silence. It shocked her out of her panic until she felt the hand on her shoulder, grabbing the first thing her hand found on the counter she whipped around.

“ _Back the fuck off!_ ” She screamed at the dishwasher, who paled when he saw the butcher knife she held in her hands.

“Out.”

Takashi’s words were sharper than the butcher knife she held. She felt herself trembling, turning towards her boss in despair. “What?” She saw no sympathy in the man as he picked himself off the ground.

“I said out. You no longer work here.” The old man said with authority, putting a hand on her shoulder and pushing her towards the back door. “You do not threaten my employees.”

Everything was numb. All at once her life was falling apart and it was like she was just a passenger watching it all happen in real time. It was not until she felt the coldness of the December winds on her face did she realize what was happening.

The knife dropped into the snow in an instant.

“Takashi! Please no! I’m sorry!” She threw herself into the doorframe before it slammed shut behind him. “I need this job! Please! Please don’t do this!”

His look was one so severe it cut through her like ice. “You do not threaten my employees, you do not lay your hands on me, you do not have a job.” The finality of his words hit her like a truck.

“ _NO!”_

Her wail was deafening as she threw her arms around his legs. “Please! Takashi! Don’t do this to me!” It was a miserable sight, the girl dragging herself along the ground wrapped around the old man’s leg. She felt the strong hands of the dishwasher wrap around her waist, pulling her away from Takashi. 

She could see the disappointment in her boss’s eyes, the bitter resentment of having wasted time. And she could already tell, despite this instance, she would be forgotten by him.

“ _Please!”_

And just like that, she was gently tossed into the cold snow behind the restaurant. The metal door slamming shut on her, the one eyed girl’s sobs were drowned out by the cruel post Christmas winds.

~!~

_“What do you mean you’re leaving!?!”_

_“It’s only for a few days Chris.” Finé said as she packed her lab coat._

_“But-”_

_“Chris.” Her words were stern, looking over at the girl who was now trembling at the thought of independence. “I have to leave. This is an important aspect of my work.” She finished packing her suitcase, sitting down on the bed. “People are relying on me.”_

_“I rely on you…” Chris said quietly, staring at the floor._

_She knew this was all too good to be true. The big dinners, the movies, the books, the freedom. The other shoe had to drop sooner or later, and it had dropped then. Finé was leaving her, and she had to fend for herself. Again._

_Would Finé even come back? If she was rich enough for this mansion, surely she had enough money for another home? Was this all a set up?_

_“Chris…”_

_She looked up, looking at the blonde woman who sat on the bed. “Come here.” She gestured with her finger._

_Chris was there in a flash, not wanting to waste a single precious second she had with her. The second she got to the foot of the bed, Finé took her hand, pulled into an embrace, wrapping her up fully in a way that made her heart race._

_“What if someone tries to steal me when you’re gone?”_

_“I’ll kill them.” Finé said without hesitation. Slowly, she leaned back, until she was lying on the bed, Chris’s head resting just under her chin. “I’ll kill anyone who tries to take you away from me.”_

_Chris tried to fight a smile at that. She closed her eyes and let herself drift off to sleep in Finé’s arms._

_It was the best sleep she could remember._

~!~

“What are you working on?” Kashiyami Natsu asked.

“Sheet music. Trying to get back into my jam.” Chris said. She debated the title of it for several minutes, before settling on _Abandoned Property_. “There we go.” She sat the file in the side flap on her wheelchair, leaning back in the seat as the elevator opened. “Finally.” 

Kashiyami pushed her out of SONG HQ and Chris took a big whiff of fresh air. The combination of the familiar city air and wintry breeze was refreshing as it was missed. She was glad to have finally gotten clear to go home. She worried about having to make needlessly hyperbolic threats to get her point across that she _really_ did not want to stay there for an overly long time. But the Old Man being who he was quickly realized that making her stay in a place she did not want to stay in would probably be bad for her mental health.

It was the day before her birthday, and they were busy securing her apartment. Much to her annoyance, the Old Man had jumped the gun at going over security detail prior to her arriving. She wasn’t thrilled about that, but she also wasn’t thrilled about the prospect of walking into her apartment that might have a surprise Babylonian Priestess in it either, so she was willing to let him have this one.

She’d still chew him out for it though. Just to let him know she cared too.

A SONG agent whose name she felt bad about not remembering opened the car door for her so she could get herself in. The folded up wheelchair easily fit into the backseat as Kashiyami started the car up, but Chris held her hand up. “Oi, it's cold out, where's your jacket? And where’s the kiddos? Aren’t they coming with us?”

“I must have forgot it, don't worry about me." Kashiyami said. "Shirabe was complaining about her back hurting.” She said as they pulled out of the parking lot. “I gave her a massage, but I told her to go see Elfnein just in case.” She gave a friendly wave to the perimeter guard as they pulled out into the street. “I assumed Kirika wanted to be with her during that.” 

Chris made a disgruntled sound, looking out the window at the winter wonderland that was Tokyo. “Well I guess I’ll see them tomorrow.”

“I know the noodle shop they wanted to take you too. It’s a good place.” Kashiyami merged onto the highway. “Small, cozy, nice atmosphere.” 

“Do their advertising why don’t ya?” Chris remarked, already bored by the conversation

Kashiyami didn’t respond to the bait. “You seem to be in good spirits.” Her voice was even. Even enough for Chris to raise her eyebrow in suspicion.

“That a problem or something?” She asked looking over at her pink haired chauffeur. 

“Not at all!” She responded with a bit of a blush. “It’s just a relief. We were worried you would be in...” She paused, looking painfully awkward. “Well we’re just happy to see you excited for your birthday.”

“Excited to have it be over maybe so people can quit making a fuss over it.” Chris rested her hand against her cheek. “Who’s we exactly?”

Kashiyami’s face got even redder. “Well…”

“Oh god.” Chris rolled her eyes. “I know what this is.” She gave her driver a very sour look. “What is it? Are you guys running bets on how long it’s going to take me to have a breakdown or something?”

“What?” She answered quickly. “No! Not at all-”

“I fucking knew it.” She sighed in frustration. “I knew this was gonna happen.” She wanted to smack the car door but thought better of it. 

“Knew what was going to happen?” Kashiyami probed carefully, not wanting to upset her further.

“This!” Chris retorted angrily. “It’s what alway’s fucking happens.” She was pissed. “Something happens and people treat you like you’ll fucking fall apart if you stub your toe.” She gritted her teeth. “Just put a fucking spot light on me why don’t ya?”

Her suspicions were confirmed by her driver's silence. It was a long sit in heavy traffic and subsequent drive to her apartment before they finally pulled into her parking lot. She kept her arms crossed the entire time, staring daggers at Kashiyami every time she shot her a glance. It wasn’t until the wheelchair was unfolded and Chris had gotten into it that the woman spoke again.

“If I may? Yukine-san?” She asked as she pushed the _Ichaival_ wielder’s chair up onto the sidewalk.

“Go ahead. You're obviously going to say it anyway.” Chris said, starting to count the cars in the parking lot.

Kashiyami stepped around in front of her, before giving a deep bow. “I am so very sorry.” Chris was about to yell at her, but the shake in the woman’s voice gave her pause. 

“For what?”

The woman did not stand back up, but rather went to her knees, sitting up straight and looking at her with intense remorse. “I failed in my duty to protect you. And because of that failure you were put in harm's way, and nearly lost your life.” She bowed again, her forehead nearly touching the sidewalk. “I can only hope that Tsubasa-san and Maria-san do not fail like I did.”

A pang of guilt and regret made its way through Chris. “Hey, c’mon now, get up. It’s cold out.” She shot a nervous glance around. “There’s no need for all this.”

The woman stood back up, but the look on her face indicated she clearly disagreed. “I wish I could have protected you better.” The woman had a hard face, but Chris could have sworn she saw her force back a tear.

“Oi.” She said immediately. “I done told you there’s no need for this.” She waved a hand dismissively. “So don’t worry about it. It’s whatever.” God let this be the end of this conversation.

“Yukine-san, I-”

“Oh shut up.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, before kicking her legs in the air like she was doing the can-can. “See? I’m fine. I’m not dead. Comprende?” 

Kashiyami now looked genuinely frustrated. “Yukine-san, I appreciate your attempt to make me feel better but-”

“I ain’t trying to do shit.” Chris cut her off again. “But you’re wasting time blaming yourself for me making your job impossible.” She felt her face burn at this admission of fault on her part. “You’re not a goddamn psychic. And whatever the Finé wannabe did made it so you couldn’t track me, right? So what the fuck were you supposed to do, hm?” She closed the distance between them by rolling her wheels, making the woman step back.

“I should have kept a tail on you from the apartment to the concert!”

“You had my apartment under lock and key, while I was surrounded by the strongest dude on earth, a ninja, a shitload of security guards and people who fought god and won.” She leaned back, propping the front wheels of her chair off the ground so she was doing a wheelie. “It’s not your fault I got attacked.”

That seemed to make a dent in Kashiyami’s martyrdom. “That does not mean it’s your fault either Yukine-san.” She said, wanting desperately to make sure her ward knew that, but Chris just laughed.

“Don’t have to tell me twice. I know it’s that bitch’s fault.” Chris said, keeping the chair balanced wearily. “I’m just glad I was her first target.” She planted the front wheels of her chair on the sidewalk.

That was a sentence that took Kashiyami a moment to unpack. “Excuse me? Yukine-san? What exactly do you mean by that?” There was a hint of shock, almost anger in her voice. “You are glad that you were attacked by this Finé woman?”

To her shock, Chris gave a laugh. “Well when you put it like that...” She shrugged. “Yeah I am.”

Shock and disbelief crossed Kashiyami’s face, trying helplessly to understand what she was hearing. “Please do explain why, before I contact the Commander and alert him to this lunacy.”

“Chill out.” Chris said dryly, locking her chairs wheels. “Look, it’s like this.” She grabbed the armrests of her chair, and with great difficulty, made herself stand up on her own two feet. She warded off the woman’s attempt to stop her, and walked over to the wall and leaned against it. “You’re new here. I get it. But the long and short of it is I can handle it.”

Kashiyami was shocked by the girl’s fortitude, but she still had difficulty listening to what she was saying. “Could you elaborate?”

“Yeah, just give me a sec.” Chris swallowed the urge to vomit from the nausea. She knew she shouldn’t be standing right now, but she could already tell this was helping prove her point better. “My life, up until like a few years ago, sucked. You get it?” She asked, but didn’t wait for an answer. “Then it got better than it ever was. Now some Finé wannabe attacked, and yeah it sucked, but I’m fine now.” She felt like smirking. 

“She went through all that goddamn trouble, and yet here I am, fresh as a fucking daisy.” She swung her arm out dramatically. “But goddamn I am glad it was me and not someone else.” She put her arm to the side of the wall and started doing some deep breaths to relieve her exertion.

“But surely-”

“I’m not done.” Chris held up her hand to shush the woman. “Just imagine if it wasn’t me who got attacked.” She got her breath back, and continued in rapid fashion. “Think if it was the kids. Or the dummy, or her girlfriend, or Maria, or Senpai.” She locked eyes with the woman. “How do you think that would go down huh? How much worse everything would be?”

Kashiyami didn’t answer, letting the girl continue.

“Senpai’s already lost her parents and her first girlfriend. What if something happened to Maria? Something like this?” She gestured at herself. “That would break her. Let me guess, she’s been ready to kill anyone who might even _possibly_ be responsible for this right?” The look on the woman’s face answered her question. “Now imagine that happening to the second girl she ever loved.” She let the full realization sink in before she went in for the kill. “It would break her. It’d ruin their relationship. They’d never recover from that, unless they got over a lot of shit, _real_ quick, that neither of them are willing to talk about even now.”

Kashiyami didn’t interrupt, so Chris went on.

“The dummy and her girlfriend? Those two live and die for each other.” She felt guilty speaking of them like this, but it was true enough. “Something happens to one of them, the other one takes it harder than anything in the world.” She remembered the night of Elfnein and Miku’s abduction. “Last year when the shit with Shem-Ha was going down and we thought her girlfriend was killed? Every single person was treating the dummy like you’re treating me now. When we found out she was alive, it was like someone restarted her fucking heart.” 

She was sweating now. “I have _never_ seen her look that devastated before. And I have never seen her look that relieved ever. If this wannabe got their hands on any one of them?” She bit her lip. “It wouldn’t be fucking pretty.”

“And Kirika and Shirabe…” Kashiyami began for her.

“Even worse. Those poor damn kids have less good memories than _I_ do. If this happened?” She tossed her hands up in the air. “Forget about it. They wouldn’t be able to handle it. They _can’t_.” She took a breath. “Not to mention what it’d do to everyone else? Maria wakes up every day looking for something new to blame herself for. If those kids got strung up like Christmas lights and left to die?” She shook her head. “Game over.”

“You call Maria by her name, but not the others. Why?” Kashiyami said abruptly.

“Don’t interrupt me.” Chris ordered. “All that is nothing compared to what I’d do. If this Finé wannabe went after any of them?” She stepped forward, supporting her footing with her rage. “I’d go on a fucking warpath till I found them.” The older woman stepped back from her. “I’d find who did it. No matter where they were. No matter who they were. I’d make them fucking pay.” She was digging her fingernails into her palms enough to bleed. “Not a fucking day goes by where I don’t think about the blood on my hands. But someone does to them what’s been done to me?”

She laughed, a humorless chuckle to herself. “I wouldn’t hesitate. Not for a single heartbeat. I got no problem making myself look like Lady Fucking Macbeth if it means they don’t have to deal with the shit I had to.” She stumbled backwards into her chair, hyperventilating. She felt exhausted.

“Yukine-san…” She was at a loss for words. What the hell do you say to that?

“So yeah. I am thankful it happened to me. Because it has before. Because I can handle it. And I have not crawled through the endless river of shit that is my life to die the second it started to get good.” She shook her head, red in the face. “Whoever is doing this wants to take me out? They can die trying.”

They both stayed there in silence for several minutes while Chris regained her breath. Kashiyami took a moment, and chose her words carefully.

“I worry for you. Finé put you into a coma.”

“Finé is a pile of fucking dust and has been for two years.” Chris spit on the sidewalk. 

“Point still stands.”

“Don’t give this loser Finé wannabe points on account of me needing a nap.” Chris growled at her. “They might look the part but they don’t know that cunt like I do.”

“You sound as confident as Akatsuki-san does about her demise.”

Chris smiled proudly at that. “That simple minded girl.” She pulled herself to sitting up straight in her wheelchair. “Glad someone’s paying attention at least.”

“You are that certain, are you?” Kashiyami eyed her curiously.

“I know her better than she knows herself.” Chris shrugged. “Fact of the matter is, Finé doesn't give a shit about me and never did.” 

_That_ threw Kashiyami for a loop. “That’s completely illogical, all I have read about your relationship suggests that…”

“I spent two goddamn years sleeping in the same bed as that woman lady.” Chris shot at her, eyebrows raised. “But by all means tell me what you read.” When she didn’t respond, Chris continued. “There’s a reason I bought into Maria’s bullshit claim about being Finé reincarnate.” She undid the brakes on her wheelchair and began to move it towards the lobby of the complex. “When she first showed up, she treated me like I wasn’t special at all. The impression was dead on.”

The sentence stunned Kashiyami in place for several seconds, before she continued after the girl. Placing her hands on the handles of the wheelchair, Chris let out a sigh of thanks as she relaxed her strained arms.

“Not that I doubt you Yukine-san, but...” She thought carefully how to phrase this. “That is not the only burden of proof you have, is it?” She asked, hoping against hope not to offend.

“Oh god no.” Chris assured her. “I got much more solid proof than that.”

Kashiyami could only sigh in aggravation. “Well, I’d love to hear it.”

“Doc was right when she said that this Finé wannabee didn’t fuck me while I was out of it. I don’t remember much about that night, but I do remember that the creep made out with me.” She said as if that was her burden of proof.

“I’m sorry that she violated you like that Yukine-san.” Her words were genuine, with a hint of anger underneath them.

“Don’t be. If she didn’t I’d probably still think it was Finé.”

“Whom do you think it is then?” A hint of worry on her lips. 

Chris paused, thinking about the ruby eyes that haunted her dreams. “Who knows. God maybe? She seems to have it out for me.” She heard the older woman sigh in frustration.

“You still have not explained why her making out with you is proof that it is not Finé.” She said, a hint of genuine irritation in her voice.

“It’s really not that complicated.” Chris insisted.

“Elaborate. Please.” Kashiyami was ready to beg at this point for a simple and clear answer. 

The answer she got was sobering. 

“Finé’s a better kisser.”

~!~

Maria awoke from the nightmare with a start, feverishly clutching _Airgetlám_ close to her chest. Gulping, she glanced around the recreation room with a frightened fervor; every inch of the room covered in some sort of paper of potential evidence. Heart beating a million miles a minute, she took a slow breath to calm herself.

_Be strong. Be strong for Chris._

As if summoned, the door to the rec room opened and in walked the _Ichaival_ wielder herself, clad in SONG uniform and eating a tomato. “Yo!” She said, strutting over to the table Maria sat at and sitting herself next to her.

“You’re looking remarkably better.” Maria said, stunned to see her up and about in such a manner.

“Can’t say the same for you.” Chris said, kicking her feet up. “You good?”

“Just a bad dream.” She muttered. “Have you been given the all clear?” She asked politely.

“Apartment’s cleared up, got a clean bill of health. I’d say I’m doing pretty fucking good for myself!” She said, biting into the fruit, spilling tomato juice onto some of the paperwork on the table.

“Be careful!” Maria chastised, picking up the paperwork off the table and quickly standing up. Almost immediately, the blood rush took her to her knees, nausea flaring with a sickening intensity. 

“Whoa, you okay?” Chris asked, looking over her shoulder with concern.

In response, Maria puked all over the floor. Getting some on her knees as it all seemed to pass through her like a viscous liquid. “I don’t know.” She answered honestly, before another sent another stream of vomit all over the papers that littered the floor of the rec room.

“Wait right there, let me go get Tsubasa.” Chris got up, carelessly dropping the tomato and running for the door.

_Since when did she start calling her by her first name?_

She could feel herself shaking, but the nausea was unlike any she had ever felt before. It was both incredibly visceral, and yet her stomach did not hurt, nor did her throat burn. She didn’t even remember having eaten enough to vomit this much.

And that was when she looked at her vomit.

Her _blood._

It was like an artery had been torn open, the river of blood covering the floor in its entirety. All the pain from vomiting she didn't feel, she felt now. Shards of broken glasses stuck in her teeth, digging deep into her gums, while razor blades slid down the inside of her throat.

“Tsubasa! How the hell did you find the one bitch in the world messier than you?” Chris said, walking back into the room with Tsubasa. 

“ _NO!”_

Maria’s shriek was deafening. Tsubasa was being supported by Chris, the idol naked from head to toe. A gunshot wound in the center of her forehead, the back of her skull entirely blown out. “Can you believe this mess? Here, why don’t you clean it up!” She said grinning as she threw the idols body onto the river of blood. “Clean your bitch’s mess up.”

 _“Tsubasa!”_ Maria cried as she turned her over, dead eyes looking up at her. The gunshot in her forehead fresh as can be. The gunshot _she_ fired into her own girlfriend.

“Oh don’t go crying over broken swords.” Chris said, unbuttoning her top. “Now what was it you said again? Oh yeah, ‘Let’s get back to where we left off.’” She said with a triumphant smirk.

Maria woke up to Ogawa barging in the door. It startled her right off of the couch, her eyes rapidly blinking to adjust to the bright room.

“O-Ogawa-san?” Maria questioned feeling light headed, balancing herself on the armrest of the couch. Her head was dizzying, trying to banish the thoughts of the dead naked Tsubasa from them.

“Hello Maria.” He said formally, stepping to the side for Tsubasa to walk in and shutting the door behind her. She looked as bad as Maria felt. Exhausted, burnt out, with both tired and angry lines littering her normally flawless face.

“Tsubasa,” God it felt good to see her. She was like a nightlight banishing the horrible memories of that nightmare away. Smiling at her, she got up to embrace her in a tight hug. “How’s Chris doing?”

“Yukine is well.” She replied, returning the hug in kind. “She doesn't seem to have any lastin-MARIA!” She shouted in surprise, catching her older girlfriend as she collapsed.

Maria felt like her head was an anchor on top of a precarious pole, swinging back and forth, threatening to fall. Tsubasa was holding her, but she was so numb she couldn’t even feel her touch. “Tsubasa…” She said groggily. It was like her words were passing through tar as they tried to leave her mouth.

“Maria?” Tsubasa’s voice was stern, but concerned. She could feel herself being moved, deposited gently onto the couch once more. She briefly heard Tsubasa say something unintelligible to Ogawa, but she couldn’t make out what the conversation was. It sounded so serious, why were they being so serious?

“Tsubasa…” Maria reached out with her hand, grasping at thin air before she felt her girlfriends fingers entangle with hers. She couldn’t make out the hands in front of her face, but she could tell Tsubasa was there. That’s what mattered most.

She zoned out, and next thing she knew someone was shining a flashlight in her eyes. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but she could hear Elfnein asking her something, for what sounded like the second time. “Can you tell me your name?”

“Elfnein?” Maria blinked at her. “It’s me, Maria.” She brought her hand up to her head, stroking the front of her temple lobe in irritation. “Why’s it so bright in here?” The lights of the room were like sun lamps that had the express design to microwave her brain.

“Ogawa-san, can you get the lights?” Elfnein requested.

To Maria’s great relief, the lights dimmed, and she could feel a weight to the side of the couch with her and knew it was Tsubasa. Opening her eyes, she smiled at her very serious looking girlfriend. Rather than return the smile, a flash of concern filled her face, glancing at Elfnein with alarm.

“Maria, can you hear me now?” The young alchemist asked patiently.

Maria nodded, “I can hear you.” The sound of her own voice hurt. “What happened?”

“That’s what we are trying to figure out.” Tsubasa answered for Elfnein, and this time Maria noticed her girlfriend steal a glance at Ogawa. “Maria, can I ask you something?” There was a whispered urgency to Tsubasa’s words, as if she was afraid of the others overhearing.

“Tsubasa... what’s happening?”

“Maria please…” There was that same desperate urgency in her voice again. “Tell me it’s not you.”

“Tsubasa-san.” Ogawa said in a voice Maria had never heard Ogawa use with her girlfriend before.

“I know.” Tsubasa sounded reluctant. “Please, Maria, just try and answer Elfnein’s questions.” She smiled at her, but it was a forced smile.

Elfnein just simply sat in front of her, her smile both sad, but patient. “I just need to ask a few questions Maria-san. To make sure you are alright.” Maria could barely see the young scientist, but she felt a slow creep of anxiety fill her stomach.

“Okay.” She nodded. Did something happen when she was asleep?

“The night Chris vanished. You were in the Highton District, Sector 6.” The way she said it, it wasn’t a question. “You did not tell anyone about this.” Elfnein looked like she was terrified of the answer. “Why?”

“I…” Maria racked her brain, trying to remember, trying to think back to then. “I wasn’t…I was just. Looking for Finé.” She stuttered out, why couldn’t she remember?

“Without me?” Tsubasa demanded.

“Tsubasa!” Ogawa’s voice was even, but she said nothing else.

“Please Maria, just try to think. Be strong, like you told me okay?” Elfnein encouraged, patting her knee encouragingly. “What do you remember about that night?”

It was at this point Maria understood what was happening. She took a deep breath, trying to collect herself. Trying to ignore her migraine. Trying to _remember_.

“I wanted to do rounds around the concert, make sure no one who shouldn't be there was there. I…” It was coming to her now. In bits and pieces. “There was...an apartment. Someone was playing a violin inside it. I had...” Maria stopped herself, remembering it as vividly as if it was happening right now.

_"You heard me I said fuck you.” Chris spat at her. She was clad in Ichaival, her body in the shape of a cross, suspended by wires. Just like how she would suspend the noisy girl back in the day, before giving her a very shocking way to relieve herself of pain._

_“Oh Chris. You think you can reject me now?” She said mockingly to her._

_“I think you should have stayed dead, ARMOR PURGE!”_

Pain.

More pain than ever knew in her life.

Like a hundred pieces of glass piercing every inch of her body.

“MARIA!” Tsubasa’s voice was loud as a gunshot in her ear.

“W-hat?” She asked, shocked. It was only then she realized she zoned out again. And now she was handcuffed. Tsubasa was standing now, shaking in an incredible fury. Elfnein was on the other side of the room, tears in her eyes. Ogawa had his gun out, his eyes not leaving Maria for a second. “Wait...what’s happening?” Her head was hurting so much. It was like a hornet's nest in her brain.

“Is this you?” Tsubasa asked, voice quivering. “Or am I talking to Finé?”

Finé…

“Tsubasa, please.” Why was this happening? “It’s me. Please. It’s Maria.” She shook her head, blonde hair falling in front of her eyes. 

“Tsubasa look away.” Ogawa said, walking forward. Pointing his gun at Maria.

“ _You killed Kanade!”_ Tsubasa screamed at her, making her flinch back in her chair. “ _You raped Yukine!”_ She could hear Tsubasa get closer to her, grabbing her by the hair and forcing her to look her in the eyes.

“And you killed me.” She said, the bullet wound opening up in the center of her forehead and beginning to bleed into Maria's mouth.

 _“NO!”_ Maria’s words were drowned out by Tsubasa’s blood, desperately shoving Kirika off of her. “ _S_ _TAY AWAY!”_

“Maria!” Kirika shouted, jumping right back up to her and placing her hands on her shoulders. “You’re having a nightmare! Wake up! Wake up!”

“ _Get off me! Stay away from me! I’m not Finé! I’m not! I’m not!”_ Maria was shrieking as she flailed helplessly in a panic.

“Maria!” The blond girl caught an attempted slap by her senior and held onto the hand tight. “ _WAKE! UP!”_ She punctuated her words by screaming them as loud as she could in Maria’s face.

In a heartbeat, Maria was on her feet, Kirika dropping to the floor, the older girl looking at her in shock. “Kirika!” She said clutching her hand. “What are you…” She quickly looked around the rec room. 

No blood. 

No vomit.

No Chris. 

No Tsubasa.

“You were having a nightmare!” Kirika was not a quiet girl. In fact, she was so loud it was like she was trying to make sure Maria didn’t fall asleep again. But the concern in her voice was apparent, as she looked near tears.

“A nightmare…” She pondered, looking at the cast on her hand. Was it like before? In the bathroom? She felt dizzy, the blood draining from her head as she collapsed back onto the couch. “I’m going crazy.”

“Maria…” Kirika sat herself next to the pink haired girl, taking her hand in hers. “It’s okay. You’re awake now.”

“Am I?” Her words were harsher than she intended, but she could not stop the shaking that was overtaking her. “How can I know?” She searched those green eyes for an answer, any answer. Anything that would tell her this is real, but doubt crept into Kirika’s eyes. Uncertainty on how she could prove it to her that this was real. 

“Maria…” Kirika looked down, before a flash of a grin popped in her eyes. Taking Maria’s hand in hers, she bit down on it hard, making the older girl yelp in surprise and pain.

“What’s wrong with you?” She demanded, completely furious.

“You’re awake now!” Kirika said proudly, crossing her arms with just the hint of smugness. “I proved it.”

Maria could only stare at her dumbfounded. Before she could help herself, she laughed. It wasn’t a pleasant laugh, but the pain was the only thing close to familiar she could remember feeling. “Clearly I need you as an alarm clock.” She said with bitterness in her voice. She sat back down next to the _Igalima_ wielder. “Kirika, are you and Shirabe getting enough sleep?” She asked motherly. 

“Muh-ree-uh.” Kirika sounded each syllable of her name out. “Don’t worry about us. You have so much to worry about! We are A-Okay!” She said with a cheer and a thumbs up. Somehow it just made her worry more.

“Kirika, look at me.” Maria turned to her.

“Maria, we’re oka-”

“No listen to me!” She insisted, clutching to Kirika’s shoulder. God she felt like crying. “I worry about you both.” There was a lump in her throat that was coming up far too fast. “I worry I’ve abandoned you, and that somehow Finé is going to get to you and it will be all my fault!” She sniffled, not at all aware when the tears began to fall. “I can’t lose the two of you. You two have barely started to live, and-”

Kirika pulled her into a fierce hug, wrapping her small frame around the woman like a little kid scared of the monster under their bed. Maria froze, before clutching the girl to her just as tightly. The sobs flowed out of her like a waterfall as she cried into the young girl's shirt, not unlike how the younger girl had done to her countless times before.

“ _The apple floated in the sky. The apple fell down to the ground._ ” 

The song kissed the older girl’s ears, stunning her thoughts in place. 

“ _The stars were born, the songs were born._ ” 

The closeness of Kirika, how she clutched to her. 

“ _The Lulu Amelu smiled for eternity._ ” 

This was not a dream. 

“ _The stars kissed, the songs slept. Where will they call home?_ ” 

This was real. 

“ _Where will they call home?_ ”

She was right where she belonged. 

“ _The apple fell down to the ground. The apple floated in the sky._ ”

With her family.

When she awoke, Kirika was still holding onto her. Maria had moved in her sleep, to the point that now half of her was off the couch, but still, she was safely in her grasp. It was an awkward position, but Maria could hardly think of a time she felt more comfortable. It felt taboo to get up from it. Yet when she did, Kirika still kept stroking her hair, smiling at her with those big green eyes. 

“Kirika…” Maria just smiled at her. “When did you get so big?” It was like some horrible weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. How could this child do for her what she couldn’t do herself?

“I had a growth spurt!” She said happily as she untangled herself from her. “I’m gonna be tall as you someday!” She sat cross legged, a childish grin full of mischief plastered on her face.

“We’ll have to get you some new clothes then.” Maria remarked. She somehow knew that Kirika knew she wasn’t talking about her size, but was avoiding the serious conversation for Maria’s sake. As much as she hated to admit it, she was thankful for that. “Where’s Shirabe?”

“I could use a new dress! A pretty green one! Oh and we need to get something for Shirabe too!” She insisted, bouncing up and down in her seat. “Shirabe is doing homework! No distractions!”

“Of course.” Maria said. “But for now, I should probably clean up in here.” She sat up and stretched, feeling the most well rested she had in days. 

“I’ll help!” Kirika jumped off the couch with joy.

Together the two girls began to clean up the liters of paper and pencils that littered the rec room. The sights of the cleaner floor and less cluttered space was therapeutic, doing wonders for Maria’s mood.

“Oh? What’s this? Is this trash?” Kirika said, picking up a manilla envelope that slid under the couch.

“That’s important, actually set it aside.” Maria pulled the trash bag out of the can and tied it shut. They had filled up two trash bags already with all their cleaning; she had a feeling it would not be the last.

“What is it?” Kirika opened it up and peaked inside, before peaking at Maria, who did nothing to stop her.

“It’s not a secret.” Maria assured her, opening up a new trash bag. “I requested a file on all of the other Receptor Children.”

Kirika pouted immediately.

“It’s not Finé.” She said stubbornly.

“I know that.” Maria said patiently. “But whoever is targeting Chris must know about the Receptor Children. I want to make sure none of them are under a threat.” She grabbed some dried out markers from the floor and dumped them in the trash bag. “I just didn’t have a chance to reach out to any of them yet.” And worse still, she wasn’t sure when she’d have a chance to do so now that protecting Chris would be her and Tsubasa’s full time job.

“I’ll do it then!” Kirika volunteered helpfully. “You focus on Senpai-sama! I will focus on this!”

“Kirika, you have school.” Maria said.

“I am passing all my classes! Besides,” For a moment, there was a painfully sad look on the girl’s face. “Senpai-sama is more important than school.” The sadness was replaced with determination. “And you are already super stressed out!” And just as quickly, the determination was replaced with inspiration. “Dess! I can cross reference any of the names on here with Shirabe’s flower shop list!” Grabbing a marker from where Maria did not know, the girl quickly wrote a reminder to herself on her hand. “This way we can maybe narrow it down!”

“Flower shop list?” Maria pondered. “What do you mean?” This was the first she heard of this.

“The crown of roses that was on Senpai-sama’s head!” She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Those were hybrid tea roses! The kind that doesn't grow naturally.”

“Meaning?”

“Dess! Meaning that whoever did it probably works at a flower shop! Or if they don’t, they likely spend a lot of time at one.” It looked as if the blond was struggling not to say duh. “If any of the names match up, we could have a lead!” She said with a cheer.

“Kirika, that's genius.” Maria was stunned that no one else at SONG had thought of that.

“It’s not genius.” Kirika said, crossing her arms with pride. “It’s simple minded.” She closed her eyes, but peaked a tiny little glance at Maria and grinned. “Dess!” 

“Where would we be without our simple minded girl?” Maria wandered over to the girl and patted her on the head. “Why don’t you head on out while I finish up here okay?”

“Are you sure?” Kirika looked around at the rec room, surprising herself at how well they had cleaned it up.

“Positive. Besides, we need your simple mind on the case.” Maria winked at her.

“The Simple Minded Detective Kirika Holmes is on the case!” She shouted, punching the air with the folder, before charging out of the room. “Oyoyoyo!”

Maria could not help the pure smile that spread across her lips as she watched that wonderful girl sprint out the door. Alone, she finished cleaning up the rec room, gathering up all the trash and took it the long way out to the dumpster, shivering in the snow as she threw it in. 

Heading back inside of the facility, she went to the restroom to wash her hands. Hand freezing on the door, remembering what she saw in the reflection. Biting her lip, she pushed through the door and faced it.

There, standing proudly in the mirror, was one pink haired woman with cyan eyes. Taller than most girls, and a body she put a lot of hours into getting. It was her. The one and only Maria Cadenzavna Eve. Now she just felt silly. Scared of her own reflection. She didn’t need to worry about Finé overwriting her, she didn’t need to worry about how she couldn’t remember why she was in the Highton district that night, and she didn’t need to worry about looking up the Receptor Children anymore. Kirika and Shirabe had that on lock. Now, she had to make sure to stick as close to Chris as possible.

Yeah.

This was good.

She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Washing her hands, she hummed _Apple_ to herself, making a mental note to get Kirika and Shirabe entirely new wardrobes as they entered the new year. She could feel her confidence returning, like an old friend. 

Smirking at herself in the mirror, she jerked her thumb at herself. “I am not Finé. I am Maria Cadenzavna Eve!” She said proudly, before strutting out of the bathroom.

The room was silent for several minutes, the sound of Maria’s footfalls echoing in the hallway outside as she departed, none the wiser to the other in the bathroom.

Two feet stepped down from the toilet. Slowly opening the door and walking to the sink. The girl turned her back to the mirror, and pulling her shirt up, she could see the scar once made by the blade of _Igalima._

“Why?” Shirabe’s voice shook. She reached behind her to the scar, grabbing at the roots that were growing out of it. She cried out, feeling the weeds under her skin being torn out as she yanked as hard as she could. She hit her knees, one hand gripping the edge of the counter, the other holding the thorn covered roots. “Why is this happening?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeanne and Mel are actually XDU characters, though not the same ones here as they were there. Hope you lovelies enjoyed, and remember to water your plants.


	8. Breadcrumbs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey kidss, look at that! Two Chapters in less than a month? What is it, February or something? By and large, heads up for some people having some rather not great self worth issues this chapter.

The cold whispery winds followed Condamnée Jeanne like a shadow as she stumbled into her apartment building. The hallways of the building reminded her dimly of where she used to squat at when she was homeless. Maybe she needed to pay _Highton View Terrace_ a visit again. Without _Takashi Noodle_ there would be no way she could support herself for more than a month.

What a fitting way to start the new year.

Homeless.

“Fuck!” She yelled and tripped over a box in front of her apartment, landing flat on her face. Rather than get up, she just laid there for a while. There was a warm buzz in her chest from the sake she emptied down her gullet. Despite how everything was horrible, at least she could feel good now. 

Maybe she could go back to Takashi and beg for her job back. Maybe she could just hide out in her current apartment and her landlord won’t come knocking. Maybe she’d sell pictures of her feet on the internet to pay the bills. That idea of it made her giggle. Once it began, she couldn’t stop it, and she laid on the floor laughing till she cried about the possibility of it.

As she tossed and turned, her foot hit the box that had so rudely tripped her. With a disgruntled groan, she gave that box what it had coming with a kick hard enough to make her toe hurt. She groaned, till she heard the odd bell like sound come from within the box.

Curiosity peaked, she stirred up from the bed she made on the floor. The box was bafflingly enough, addressed to her. “Who’s giving me gifts?” She slurred, her eye having difficulty focusing on reading the return address. Fumbling with her keys, she lugged the box into the apartment.

She pulled out some old leftovers from amongst the gunk in her fridge, before grabbing a dirty knife from in the sink and using it to slice the box open. She wasn’t sure what she expected to find in the box, but it certainly wasn’t this. Using the same knife she opened the box with to cut up the sandwich she had excavated from her fridge, she took a bite into the meal as she tried to wrap her mind around what she saw before her. 

Who the hell would send her this many phones?

It wouldn’t be till the next morning that she would count all forty nine cell phones, but what really grabbed her attention was the source of the weird bell like sound. Despite the range of smartphones, track phones, satellite phones and so on, there was, of all things, an old fashioned rotary phone.

The receiver and dial were made of gold, and the base of it was well polished oak. She knew next to nothing about antiques, but she could easily see that this cost more than anything in her apartment, including the apartment itself most likely. “I could sell this…” She mused drunkenly, knocking over the box of phones by accident. 

She spent the better part of her evening trying to figure out what to do with the phones. She didn’t notice the one phone that still had juice left in it. Nor would she notice that its most recent call was to the Tokyo police. What she would notice in the morning however, was that there was a name on the back of each and every one of the phones in her possession, including the one whose battery life had just blinked out.

Not that the name would have any meaning to her.

What kind of name was Yukine Chris anyway?

~!~

“Where to start?”

Kirika pondered the question to herself as she looked over the set up she had. Repurposing her rarely used work phone as a dummy phone to call people, she also set up a dummy email account to contact those without drawing attention to herself. SONG had provided all their devices with a VPN and heavy spyware protection material to protect against hacking attempts, and if somebody did try to trace the emails she sent out back to her, they could have fun trying to find her in Germany. 

The list of names, combined with the names of the people Shirabe had on her list, made for an intriguing, but intimidating long list of potential people to reach out to. She resolved to reach out to all of the names on the Receptor Children list, and then cross reference them with the much longer customer list that Shirabe had made.

Any matches would surely mark for a good place to start at the very least, and if they were not involved, then they could safely cross the possibility off the list. Culling the field of suspects would make it easier to find the person actually behind everything.

She eyed up the list of names, trying to put faces to any of them that she remembered. The list was not a complete one, but SONG had managed to find the various people who were still documented, and were not lost in the system like she, Maria and Shirabe were. Her time in the White Orphanage was not a time she often liked to remember back to, and most of the time all she could think of was Shirabe and Maria. If she could put a face to any of the names she had, she might be able to actually produce something for SONG to follow up on. She’d ask Maria and Shirabe if they knew any of the names on the list that she had.

Condamnée Jeanne

Condamnée Melody

Debussy Gloria

Herbert Lavinia

Itai Kioku

Ito Syaoran

Jakande Djimon

Koga Chiharu

Konaka Chiaki

Kubert Satomi

Mason James

Nakamura Shirou

Gabriella Sarah

Nakayama Rokuro

Nora Miao

Oba Dai

Oh Hitoshi

Satō Takuya

Shepherd Cheryl

Shirai Asuka

Sunderland Heather

Terauchi Kyuso

Yamashiro Shichiro

Kirika yawned, about to call the number she had for the first Condamnée name when the door to her dorm opened and Shirabe walked through. The _Shul Shagana_ wielder flinched at her girlfriend's springboard of joy. “SHIRABE!” Leaping towards her, hugged her furiously as if she had not seen her in several years, instead of a few hours.

But Shirabe froze in her girlfriend's embrace, letting the hug happen but not moving an inch in response. 

“Shirabe? What’s wrong?” Kirika said, tilting her head.

Strangely, Shirabe avoided direct eye contact with her, looking off to the side and corners of the room. “Kiri-chan I-” She stopped herself, looking uncertain. “Why didn’t you wait for me to go home with you?” She forced herself to look at the blonde, who immediately got red faced.

“Wait for you?” Kirika blinked. “But Kashiyami-san texted me and said you were going to see senpai!” She frowned, seeing the hurt look on Shirabe’s face. “She said you were gonna go to Elfnein-san later…”

“I waited for you…” Shirabe said, looking pale.

“Ehhhhh!” She put her hands on her head in self frustration. “Shirabe! I’m sorry! Maria had a bad dream and I had to help her with looking into children from the White Orphanage and then we had to clean up the rec room because we made a really bad mess and we finished late I went home because I thought you Kashiyami-san was gonna drop you off-” Shirabe put a finger to her lips.

“Kiri-chan, breathe.” She took her finger away just as quickly. “I...never went to Elfnein-san. Kashiyami-san gave me a massage and told me not to stress myself by going to senpai’s. It couldn’t wait, so I just...” She stopped herself, staring at Kirika but not looking at her. “Waited for you.” She looked at the floor when she said it, wishing the ground would just open up and eat her alive.

“Shirabe…” Kirika looked at her carefully. Shirabe could make god blink with how fierce her staredowns were, and if she was mad, she’d more likely just ignore you and stare at you painfully from a distance.

Something was wrong.

“Shirabe, what’s wrong?” Kirika asked quietly. There was a hint of weakness, of fear, of paranoia behind the pink eyes she loved so much.

“I...don’t know…” Shirabe stuttered out as she fell forward.

“ _Shirabe!”_

~!~

“Hibiki!”

Miku’s stern words made her feel guilty, causing Hibik to turn around, arms full of dark chocolate. 

“We are getting things Chris would like! Behave!” She said sternly. They had come to the sweet shop _Backstage Confectionaries_ to get Chris some proper birthday sweets, something that Hibiki had been incredibly excited for.

“You don’t wanna overdo it on the dark chocolate.” A girl with straight wine-red hair with the name tag _Hikari_ on it said. Instantly her eye twitched up in irritation in Hibiki’s direction. “Right Uta?”

Beside the display that Hibiki was mauling, was a short girl with violet eyes and long black hair. “That’s right!” She said, face burning a bit. Miku and Hikari pretended not to notice the two girls hastily putting back the chocolates

“You have a problem child of your own I see.” Miku said sympathetically as she paid the girl.

“Her personality presents unique problems.” The redhead shrugged. “I’m sure you get it.”

Hibiki and Uta glared at the two as customer and employee alike broke a chocolate bar in half to share. “I think they’re saying something mean!” Hibiki huffed.

“Why don’t you ask them?” A voice whispered in her ear, making both girls jump out of their skin, flinging their stolen treasure skybound. A taller girl with green hair and pink eyes grinned mischievously at them, snatching the dark chocolate bar out of the air effortlessly and walking towards Miku. 

“That was so mean!” Hibiki protested, while Uta had tears in her eyes, making grabby hands at the stolen goods that her coworker began to eat.

“You two better watch your girlfriends, they're gonna run away together.” The girl with the name tag _Yuki_ said.

“Shuddup!” Hikari barked.

“They wouldn’t get far.” Miku said confidently, before doing a double take. “Do I…”

“Know you?” Yuki finished, looking at her. “No you look familiar. Did you go to _Lydian?”_

Miku nodded. “I graduate this year.”

“Congrats!” Yuki said earnestly. “I graduated last year.”

“Oh!” Hibiki piped up from behind. “Did you know Chris?”

“Yukine?” Yuki asked, to which Hibiki nodded. “Yeah! We still hangout sometimes when she’s not so busy. How is she?” The taller girl sat up on the counter as Uta turned off the Open sign for the pastry shop.

“She’s doing good!” Hibiki said, only slightly lying. “We’re buying her birthday stuff!”

“Oh what?” Yuki seemed shocked. “When’s her birthday? Hold on!” She ducked behind the counter, running to the back and coming back with some very expensive looking chocolates. “Tell her it’s from an old friend!” Yuki said with delight. 

Miku nodded in appreciation, “How much?”

But Yuki just waved it off. “On the house. It’s her birthday after all.” She smiled warmly at them as the phone vibrated in Hibiki’s pocket.

“Master?” Hibiki said suddenly, earning a tense look from Miku. “Got it, on our way.” She hung up, bowing in respect towards the three girls. “Sorry we have to go! But it was nice meeting you!” 

Miku felt the urgency in her voice, bowing towards the three. “We’ll tell Chris you said hello. Happy New Year!” She said running out the door with Hibiki. “What is it?”

“Shirabe. Something’s wrong.”

~!~

_“Oh god! We’re gonna die!”_

_The screams echoed throughout the city as chaos reigned._

_“There’s nothing we can do!” Genjuro shouted from the city streets._

BRRRRRRRRRRRRING

_“Who can save us?” Hibiki despaired, fainting in Miku’s arms_

BRRRRRRRRRRRRING

_“Look! Up in the sky!” Little Red Riding Gun shouted, as the Green Lion roared at her._

**BRRRRRRRRRRRRING**

_Tsubasa shouted in awe._

**“** _It’s! It’s--!”_

 _“_...Elfnein speaking.” The young alchemist said groggily, putting the phone to her ear. When she heard the voice on the other end of the line she was instantly awake. “Commander!”

She had been working around the clock keeping Chris stable. Not helping lighten her load was Maria and Hibiki both getting minor hand injuries, which did nothing but spread her thin. She had hoped, selfishly, that with Chris being discharged that she would be able to get some relaxation in.

But the Commander's call quickly changed those priorities.

“Shirabe-kun has collapsed at her dorm. She’s being transported to you from _Lydian_ by Hibiki, Miku and Kirika-kun.” His voice was clear and concise. There was urgency, but not life threatening. 

“Was she unconscious? Or seizing in anyway?” Elfnein asked, already jogging down to the medbay from her little office.

“I don’t believe so.”

Chris’s unfortunate episode had thankfully meant that prep work was minimal, but that did not stop her from having to prep the machines. Quickly firing up the closed MRI machine, she also double checked that she had packs of Shirabe’s blood type on hand in case an infusion was needed. She got out her stethoscope and gloves, preparing for the worst of what could come.

Dr. Elfnein would not let Shirabe be in pain. No way. Now how.

She had prepped the medbay fully by the time Hibiki and Miku arrived with Kirika and Shirabe in tow. Right away she could tell that the _Shul Shagana_ wielder was in a bad state, looking paler than usual and very groggy. They had her in a wheelchair to help her out, Kirika glued to her side like another limb.

“Please help her.” The blonde begged.

“It’ll be okay.” Elfnein promised, while Miku and Hibiki helped set Shirabe up on the hospital bed. She was grateful when Tomosato joined her, as Fujitaka led everyone but Kirika outside so as not to make the room claustrophobic. 

The alchemist made the routine checks that she knew quite well after years of looking after the wielders. Shirabe, like her fellow FIS candidates and Hibiki, had a unique medical history that required her to have what amounted to second hand knowledge of everything she might require. Years of human experimentation and being pumped full of chemicals during her body's state of natural maturation led to Shirabe having a medical history that was wholly unique, just as Maria and Kirika did themselves.

Hibiki’s medical history was well known, between _Zwei Wing,_ and her near complete fusion with _Gungnir_. The girl was unique, much like the others, and because of that the four of their medical records were kept entirely offline. The only way to hack the records would be by physical theft. 

Tsubasa, Chris, and Miku thankfully had by the standards of SONG, fairly normal medical history. Years of famine and abuse had severely stunted Chris’s growth and constitution, but the _Ichaival_ wielder had managed to recover quite well. Kazanari's legendarily strong genetics rang true in Tsubasa by contrast, but she was most shocked by Miku being healthier than all of them. Something that slipped Elfnein’s mind at times was that between the seven of the girls; Miku had only recently joined the combat forces in full, She had less scars of battle then the others had, in addition to a relatively normal life prior to her introduction to the then Section 2.

Ideally, no one would gain any more scars going forward.

Unlike poor Shirabe, who was beginning to stir as Elfnein finished drawing blood, handing it off to Tomosato to run a Complete Blood Count. Just her bodily examination of Shirabe gave her a good idea of what could be wrong. Not only was the girl unusually pale, but her fingernails were quite brittle, and the sides of her mouth were cracked.

“Has she been having trouble concentrating? Or experiencing any dizziness or chest pains?” Elfneing asked Kirika, who gulped.

“I don’t think so. She said her back was hurting earlier, and that Kashiyami-san was taking her to you!” Kirika said, shaking in place.

Tomosato returned with the blood results, and Elfnein was incredibly thankful for how quick the SONG’s computer systems were. Japan had radically leaped forward with healthcare technology in the past several years, and SONG had access to technology leaps and bounds better than was accessible in most places. Test results that normally would take hours to get back now only took several minutes.

“Good hunch.” Tomosato complimented her. “Her iron levels are incredibly low. How did you know?”

“It’s my job too.” Elfnein said absently, taking the blood test results from Tomosato. “Has Shirabe-san been having heavier than normal menstrual cycles?” She asked out loud.

“No, I don’t think so!” Kirika said after a minute in thought.

“Hmm.” Elfnein pondered in her head. “Shirabe, how are you feeling?” She got out two chocolate bars she kept in her pocket, handing one off to Kirika and laying the other next to Shirabe on the bed. “Are you lightheaded still?”

Shirabe’s pink eyes focused on Elfnein’s face. “A little.” She was surprised to find the chocolate bar in her hand.

“Kirika says you didn’t lose consciousness, is that right?” Elfnein asked her gently, but with authority. 

“I was awake all the way here. Just…” She took a bite of the chocolate bar and swallowed. “Hard to focus.”

“Eat. You’ll feel better.” Elfnein grabbed a notepad and began to make many notations to add to Shirabe’s medical record. “I think you’re suffering from anemia Shirabe-san.” She said matter-of-factly. “We are going to run some more tests, but your iron count is very low.” She looked up from her notepad and smiled. “It’s nothing we can’t handle.”

But Shirabe did not look comforted.

“My back.” Shirabe said as she sat up, and Elfnein was thankful for the power that chocolate could have on someone.

“Kirika said you were supposed to come to see me. What changed that?” Elfnein asked pointedly. 

Shirabe was looking better, but now uncomfortable. “I was scared…” She said now looking away from Kirika who had a pained look on her face. “I was scared to go without Kirichan and then…”

“And then what?” Elfnein said, holding a hand up to shush Kirika before she could derail.

“This.” Shirabe turned herself around on the bed and pulled the back of her shirt up. “I didn’t know what to do.”

Elfnein looked at the girl’s bare back, the thick scarring tissue from _Igalima_ that went across her back the only blemish. Looking at an equally confused Kirika, Elfnein asked, “Kirika said your back was hurting. Was it your scar?”

“What?” Shirabe sounded shocked. “No, it’s this!” She reached behind her, hand grabbing at some phantom residue around her scar. “It’s…” She sounded less confident this time. “Can I see? A mirror or...?”

Tomosato quickly fetched a pocket mirror, angling it for Shirabe to stare in horror at her back. “But that’s not right…” She looked down at her hands that were covered in cuts. “This isn’t…”

Seeing them for the first time, Elfnein firmly took a hand to examine. “Shirabe-san, please tell us. Did something happen?” She questioned politely.

“Shirabe!” 

All heads in the room snapped to the door as Maria burst in, Kashiyami, Miku, Hibiki and Fujitaka right behind her.

“Maria-san wait!” Fujitaka protested, before being shoved face first out the door.

“Men don’t look!” The pinkette shouted as she shut the door in his face at having seen Shirabe’s shirt was up.

“He tried to stop her.” Hibiki nervously laughed, going to scratch the back of her head but her hand being caught by Miku.

But Maria was having none of it, crossing the hospital room to be next to Kirika, mindful of the watchful eye of Elfnein. “Shirabe, are you okay? What happened? Commander said you fainted?”

“Maria-san.” Elfnein said, her doctor's voice shocking Maria. “Please.”

Maria bit her lip nervously, but nodded, putting her hand on Shirabe’s knee for support. “Don’t mind me, just listen to Elfnein okay?” Maria said. Kirika had quietly taken Shirabe’s free hand, stroking her fingers.

“Now Shirabe, did anything happen before you fainted? How did you get these cuts?” Elfnein prodded. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Miku and Hibiki sitting down together, while Kashiyami stood against the door watching intently. She was thankful for Tomosato handing her disinfectant for the cuts, but waited for the wielder to speak.

“My back was hurting.” Shirabe gulped. “Kashiyami-san gave me a massage, but suggested I go to you, but…” Kirika stole a glance at Kashiyami, confused. “I went to the bathroom and…” She clutched at her back. “There were weeds, or vines or something growing out of it.” She clutched her hand at the phantom appendages at the scar tissue. “I pulled them out of me in the bathroom after Maria left.” She admitted shamefully.

“I was there?” Maria said in a pained expression. “Why didn't you get me Shirabe?” But a hand from Elfnein shushed her.

“Shirabe-san, you say that you pulled them out of you. Do you still have them?” The alchemist asked pointedly. 

“No. I left them on the bathroom floor.”

“I’ll go check.” Kashiyami said immediately, opening the door and walking past Fujitaka, the door closing before he could get in.

Elfnein noticed that despite Shirabe’s story, Kirika’s eyes never left Kashiyami. The blonde whispered something into Maria’s ear, who after giving a squeeze to Shirabe, stood up. “I’m going to go with her, just in case.” 

_Of what?_ Elfnein thought to herself as Maria left the room. 

“I’m sorry Shirabe.” Kirika said, her forehead resting against her girlfriend's shoulder. “I must have misunderstood Kashiyami-san.”

“It’s okay Kirichan, I did too.” Shirabe said, patting her head gently. She was thankful when Elfnein lowered the back of her shirt.

“Have you been sleeping well Shirabe-san?” Elfnein hated to interrupt the tender moment, but this was important.

“Not really.” Shirabe answered honestly, heat rising to her cheeks. “Senpai has been sick so…” She blinked when Elfnein put her hand to her forehead.

“You might be getting sick from the stress.” Elfnein said to no one in particular.

“...You don’t believe me?” Shirabe said with a quivering voice that broke Elfnein out of her doctor mode.

“No!” The young alchemist insisted immediately. “Everyone has been stressed!” She said defensively. “It’s not good for you!” She tried to save it, but she could tell the pain was already there.

“I believe you Shirabe.” Kirika said quietly, stroking the girls hand.

For an instant, Elfnein hated herself. She knew these girls were terrified out of their mind, and it was her job as their doctor to help alleviate their fears, not exacerbate them. 

“Let’s get these cleaned up, and we can see about having you under observation for tonight…” Elfnein said as she began to clean the wounds.

“I have to stay here? But Senpai’s birthday!” She protested, making Elfnein flinch.

“Please hold still Shirabe, it’s only to make sure you are okay.” Elfnein tried to say reassuredly. 

“You don’t believe me anyway.” Shirabe said in a guarded hurt tone, drawing a low whine from Kirika.

“She can stay at our place!” Hibiki volunteered, startling the three girls who had forgotten the quiet couple were still in the room.

“We live so close by, if anything happens we can get here quickly.” Miku added.

“Plus Kashiyami-san is staying right next door! So they’d have a double watch!” Hibiki said cheerfully.

As if summoned, Maria and Kashiyami walked back through the door, the latter now sporting her teal jacket. Fujitaka, still on the other side of the door, was shut out completely. “Shirabe-san…” Maria said gently, walking over to sit on the bed with her. “Have you been getting sleep?”

Shirabe looked ready to cry, “You don’t believe me either.”

“That’s not true.” Kashiyami said from the door, drawing Kirika’s eye. “Clearly, you believe it happened. Whether or not it did is still up for discussion. We were not able to find anything when we searched the bathroom, however…” She nodded for Maria to continue.

Maria just smiled sadly at Shirabe, kissing her forehead in a way that made her anxiety melt away. “Don’t tell Tsubasa, but this one.” She winked at Kirika. “Helped me after I had a horrible nightmare just a few hours ago.” She brushed the hair out of Shirabe’s face. “You’re not alone. We’re all losing it a little bit.”

“I’ve been having nightmares too.” Hibiki volunteered again, making Elfnein blink. “They’re scary, but they’re not real.” She shrugged. “Even when they seem like it. I had them all the time before I went to _Lydian,_ but I’d still wake up, and there’d still be sunshine!” She said cheerfully, but clutching Miku’s hand in a way that the alchemist caught.

“I’ll contact the Commander and approve the sleepover, but in the meantime Shirabe-san, I’d like to at least do an X-ray to make sure.” Elfnein smiled a bit, remembering plans of her master. “Vanishing plants are not the most outrageous things to have happened to us before after all.” 

“Wait, a sleepover?” Maria questioned.

“Sleepover!” Hibiki yelled in a forced cheerful voice. 

“We have the bottom bunk that they can use.” Miku assured. “That way you and Tsubasa-san can keep an eye on Chris while we keep an eye on Shirabe-chan.” She said in that soothing way that Elfnein was thankful for. It was amazing the way that the girls words could sooth a room, it was a godsend.

Maria smiled at her, and then at Kirika and Shirabe. “Think you two can behave at their place?”

Both girls nodded, bowing to Miku and Hibiki. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Miku said in a delighted tone. “After all, we have Chris’s birthday to celebrate tomorrow!”

Shirabe seemed to appreciate the distraction and nodded. “Yeah.”

Elfnein stepped out, making sure not to let Fujitaka in as she dialed up Genjuro. She was only half paying attention to him as he gave the approval for the X-ray and sleepover, her focus instead on looking through the window into the hospital room. Most of the girls inside seemed to be talking, fussing over things to make Shirabe laugh, Tomosato even showing her some funny videos on her phone. 

But that was not what drew her attention.

It was surreal.

She had never seen Kirika look so quietly angry before.

~!~

_The footfalls echoed in the long hallways of the elusive manor. Gorgeous paintings of breasts, legs, and other body parts were hanging from the walls in frames made of solid gold. More disturbing were the statues that pushed out of the frames themselves. A woman’s navel and pelvis with no legs, an armless chest with flowers emerging from the gut, a head with a shawl wrapped around it. Each frame cladded with a statuesque cloth that in the right lighting could trick you into thinking it was still fabric, if it ever was._

_But those were nothing compared to the massive headless statue that hung in front of the staircase to the upstairs. Suspended in sadistic bondage was a nude woman.On her back, she was not sure if there were wings or it was supposed to be her hair. Part of her thought that the statue had been found in an incomplete state, but another part of her suspected that the statue was found exactly as intended._

_The knowledge that this was what the statue was supposed to look like did not make her feel better._

_It reminded her of herself in a way she didn’t like. Be that as it may, she still had to go under it to reach into the deeper parts of the manor. The passageway was just behind the water fountain that was beneath the statue, incredibly easy to miss if you did not take the time to look for it._

_Time was something she had in spades these days._

_It had been five days since Finé had left. Three more entire days than she had said she would be gone. The first day she had been gone, Chris cried for hours, exhausting herself to the point that all she could do was sleep, wake up again, repeat. By the second day, an uncomfortably familiar starvation made her realize that if Finé really was never coming back, she might as well eat her food before it went bad. By the third day Chris was ready to scream out of concern. She turned over every square inch of the mansion trying to find something, anything that she could use to contact her. When it all failed she fell asleep next to the locked entrance hall, hoping against hope that she would wake when Finé walked through the door._

_By the fourth day she decided to relax a little bit._

_She explored the mansion long and far. Even in her brief stay with Finé she knew that the woman was quite proudly sexual, more often than not openly checking Chris out, even when she was fully aware of her doing so. Oftentimes she would walk around in only a kimono, or maybe a black dress that would have looked microscopic even on Chris’s frame. It made her uncomfortable sometimes. Not because she felt she was trying to seduce her, but she wondered if Finé was trying to guilt her into also taking up nudism._

_Chris was not about to take up nudism._

_But more than that, she was shocked to find that Finé had... defined tastes in what she was interested in. Even for Chris, what Finé had lying around in the open was out there to be sure. She was not sure if Finé was a sadist or a masochist, but it was clear that she delighted in it one way or the other. And that was just what she found in the rooms that were unlocked._

_What wasn’t unlocked however, was the door behind the water fountain, which gave way to a great cavern that seemed to be built into the cliffside the mansion sat on. The damp air of the cavern made Chris wonder if she was walking under the lake, and more to the point, what the fuck kind of job was Finé into that gave her this enormous mansion of hidden secrets._

_The most striking feature of the cavern was not the metal door at the bottom of the steps that was protected with a password, but rather the enormous and very fucking weird statue that went from floor to ceiling._

_On the base of it were two women, partially fused into the roots of the rest of the statue. One of the women had no body except for her chest and a single arm, which held the hand of the other statue. Roses formed up the stomach and out of the chest cavity, going up into the tendrils. The statues whose hand it held did have a face and head, in addition to shockingly prominent nipples. Its shawl seemed to resemble the smaller versions she’d seen in the art decor above, but nothing could prepare her for the odd top of the statue itself._

_Almost like a tree, the roots the two women were embedded into formed a tree-like column. Two additional women, back to back; one headless with her arms coming out of her stomach, hand full of rose petals. The other had the back of her head missing, eyes shut, a pensive look on her face as she looked in the direction of the metal door._

_Above the metal door itself, was a massive mural, which had the most striking and distinctive of the statues. A woman in tattered Sumarian garb, reaching out desperately with one hand for the heavens. Her lower half was consumed by an endless sea of roots that fed into the wall, her rose covered shul going all the way down her back. Her face looked forlorn, as if she just saw her lover leave her for the last time._

_If her near week alone in the mansion had taught Chris anything, it was that Finé was into some weird fucking shit._

_She had tried for hours to guess the password for the door, but nothing broke through. Dimly, she hoped that if she tried enough times it would trigger some sort of security alert on Finé’s phone and she’d come sprinting back to the mansion at any second. Or maybe she’d even correctly guess the password sometime, and she’d get into whatever was beyond the door and see what the hell was in there._

_Truth be told, she didn’t give a shit what was in there._

_She just wanted to see Finé again._

_When she heard the doors open upstairs her heart nearly gave out._

_Sprinting up the massive cavern staircase as fast as she could, she ran through the water fountain, not even caring how soaked it made her. She was here! She was back! Finé was back!_

_Sprinting into the entrance foyer, Chris’s eyes widened in horror at what she saw._

_Standing there, in a blood covered lab coat, with some bizarre rock under her arm, was her beloved. Peering over broken pink glasses, she whimpered out, “Chris...help me.” The words were not out of her lips before she collapsed to the ground._

_Chris was by her side in an instant._

_“Finé! Wake up! Finé! Finé!”_

~!~

“Yes Sir. Understood.” Chris heard Ogawa say as he hung up his phone. “Commander Kazanari has requested that we stay indoors for the evening.”

“It’s almost midnight, where would we go?” Chris said irritably from the couch. Satisfied, she set down the recently written sheet music labeled _Gilgamesh_ onto her living room table.

“And Tsukuyomi, she is well?” Tsubasa asked the question that Chris deliberately avoided.

Ogawa nodded. “It would appear that aside from a lack of sleep and iron in her blood, Shirabe-san is doing fine.” He got out his notepad and began to update a few things. “She will be staying with Hibiki-san and Miku-san until they join you for lunch tomorrow.”

Chris shrugged, stretching her legs out on the couch. Her little stunt with Kashiyami had cost her valuable energy, enough that she wasn’t able to join her former bodyguard and Maria in the journey back to SONG to check on the situation. 

She was fairly certain that Tsubasa and Genjuro would not have let her even if she had been good to go, and while she understood the reason, it still pissed her off. Genjuro leaving to make sure the girls got to the dummy’s apartment did give her some comfort, but it was still something she wished she could herself.

“Lunch can be moved here. There is no reason for the unnecessary security risk of moving Yukine throughout the city.” Tsubasa said to Ogawa.

“Oi!”

“Tsubasa-san.” Ogawa said gently. “Reservations have already been made. The necessary measures will be taken to ensure security.” His eyes flashed over to Chris, a gentle apology in them.

“Too many variables.“ Tsubasa said, getting up and walking over to the window and checking to make sure it was shut. “We can hold both lunch and dinner for Yukine here. There is no reason to leave the apartment.”

“I can think of one!”

“Akatsuki and Tsukuyomi both have already made the reservation.” Ogawa said patiently.

“So?” Tsubasa asked, while Chris’s blood began to boil.

“To my understanding they were looking forward to taking Chris-san out for her birthday.” Ogawa explained. “The security for them and Chris-san will be more than enough to ensure there is no further danger.”

“That provides significant risk to both of them as well as Yukine.” Tsubasa remarked.

“More so than grouping all of the Wielders here in one space to be attacked?” Ogawa countered.

“We can end the festivities early. They have school the following morning, so they should not be out late as is.” Tsubasa said, still not looking at Chris.

“I’m their senpai dammit. You wanna speak for them, speak to me first!” Chris demanded.

“I believe that we may be overstepping, Tsubasa-san.” Ogawa said carefully. “This is not house arrest after all.”

Tsubasa seemed to ignore what he said, already thinking ahead. “They can be simply escorted home following their lunch with Yukine.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!”

Ogawa turned his head and nodded at her in apology. “Chris-san is correct. It is impolite not to get her say in this.” He bowed towards Chris. “My apologies Chris-san.”

She was about to respond when Tsubasa cut her off. “The supervision of Yukine’s protection falls to myself alone.” She said sternly. “We do not have time to entertain needless threats to security.”

“OI!” Tsubasa caught the pillow that was thrown at her head by the _Ichaival_ wielder. “I get a say in my own birthday goddamnit.” Despite this, her senpai did not look at her directly.

“Your wants for the date are understood, however it is not up to you.” Tsubasa said flatly, making Ogawa’s eyebrows raise and Chris’s rage boil over.

“Tsubasa-san, that is not-”

“Like hell it’s not up to me!” Chris put her hand on the coffee table and pushed herself up to a standing position.

“Do not put undue stress onto yourself Yukine. Please sit down.” Tsubasa was _still_ not looking at her.

“Tsubasa-san!” Ogawa’s voice was a firm warning that was far too late.

“Don’t talk to me like you’re my fucking pimp.” 

That was low and Chris knew it, but she didn’t care. She was not about to stand for somebody trying to control her life when said person would not even fucking look at her.

Tsubasa looked like she’d been slapped. _Finally_ she looked at her in shock, tripping over her own words. “Yukine, I-”

“You heard me.” Chris seethed, staring her down. “Don’t fucking make decisions for me. I’m not in a goddamn coma anymore alright?” Her voice broke on the last word, but she swallowed her emotions down. “Don’t treat me like I’m a goddamn security risk.”

Tsubasa stood up at this. “You _are_ a security risk Yukine!” Her voice echoed in the apartment. “I cannot allow you to needlessly put yourself at risk because you do not appreciate the danger you are in!”

“Bitch!” Chris stomped forward. “I don’t appreciate the danger I’m in?” They were glaring daggers at each other now. “The fuck do you know about the danger I’m in huh?”

“I know the danger clearly better than you do!” Tsubasa retorted, getting into her face. “I am not the one suggesting you go out for noodles when Finé is after you!” They both knew neither of them meant Finé, but they did not bother to correct the other.

“Let her try! It’ll solve the problem a helluva lot faster!” Chris retorted, getting red in the face. “But I am not going to sit around waiting for that bitch to get put down just to live my fucking life!”

“That is why you are a security risk!”

“You’re my security detail right? _Secure me!_ ” Chris shoved against her. Her meager strength compared to her senpai’s superior poise made it have the opposite effect Chris wanted, but the look on her senior’s face made her realize it was just as effective. 

“Lock me up. Throw away the key. ‘Protect’ me the best you can.” She felt her legs start to give out from under her, but she stood her ground. “Maybe dye your hair blonde too while you're at it.”

Tsubasa’s mouth opened up in shock at that, looking at her in transfixed horror. Ogawa nearly stepped in, but he saw the look of desperate energy on Chris’s face. The girl was trying to fight off tears.

“I can’t do it senpai.” She guided herself back to a seating position on the couch, the rage gone from her voice. “I can’t jump at my own shadow. I can’t just wait to live my life.” Her eyes were lost in a painful memory. “I’ve waited too long to live my life to let her take away even more of it from me.”

It was a long time before anything was said.

“Yukine.” Tsubasa walked to the side of the couch, kneeling down beside her. “What do you need me to do to make you feel secure?” The stoic tone of the sword was gone. Warm words of comfort took their place.

“Just…” Chris gestured awkwardly. “Keep an eye on me.” Her words were small, weak and vulnerable. “Tell me everything's going to be okay. That you’re not going to let anything bad happen to me.” She looked down at her knees. “Maybe say Happy Birthday too while you’re at it.”

Tsubasa actually smiled. “I’m afraid I can’t do that.” She took her hands in hers. “You see, it’s not your birthday yet.” She sat on the arm rest, letting Chris lean against her. “I’m sorry Yukine.”

“You’re worried. I get it.” Chris said. “I just…” She shook her head. “It used to be like this. Everyday I’d be on my tip toes, dodging the glass on the floor.” She closed her eyes, and just appreciated her senpai. “I lived for her. I wanna live for me.”

“May I accompany you on your lunch tomorrow?” Tsubasa asked gently. With a careful hand she began to scratch the top of her head.

“Mhmm.” Chris purred in content.

It was a while before Tsubasa realized that her kohai had fallen asleep like that. When she attempted to move off the armrest, Chris clung to her side, making her smile. Carefully, she laid her onto the couch and thanked Ogawa wordlessly when he turned off the living room lights and gave her a blanket to cover her junior with.

Chris could drive her insane at times. The girl was sharp as a knife, and quick as an arrow. But she was more durable than anyone else she knew. It broke her heart to know the full scope of the horrors that she went through, and all the more grateful that she got to call her her friend.

“I wish you could have met Kanade.” Tsubasa whispered, leaning against the couch, and under the watchful eye of Ogawa, Tsubasa slept soundly.

~!~

“I think they’re asleep.” Miku’s voice broke Hibiki out of the trance that homework had put her into.

“Oh?” Hibiki whispered, tiptoeing over to the bottom bunk and peaking inside. Just as Miku had said, the two wielders were fast asleep like little babies, Kirika curled up around Shirabe like she was a teddy bear.

Hibiki gently closed the curtain with a smile, nodding to Miku and tip-toeing back over to the kitchen. “They’re so cute.” She said in a hushed voice.

Miku nodded, pointing down at Hibiki’s yet to be completed homework. “Finish your homework Hibiki.” She said in a stern whisper that was broken up by a gasp as she saw the look on Hibiki’s face.

“Why would she want to hurt Shirabe-chan?” Hibiki muttered. Her eyes were glazed over, and Miku could appreciate the lines in her face from the lack of sleep.

“I don’t know.” Miku whispered. “Elfnein-san said it was likely just stress and insomnia catching up to her. Plus the anemia.” She tried to say it with the same conviction the young alchemist had.

She wasn’t even certain Hibiki had heard her.

“She died for her, Miku.” Hibiki said, looking at her now. “And now she’s doing these things to Chris-chan and…” She watched as the fists she loved clenched in anger. “Why? Why would she do this?”

Miku reached a hand across the table and took Hibiki’s hand in hers, and lightly pressed down on the third knuckle. Instantly snapping out of her funk, Hibiki pulled her hand away, rubbing at her bruised knuckle from when she accidentally clocked Kuriyo. “Ow! Miku!”

But Miku put a finger to her lips. “We can’t know why. But we can protect those closest to us until we do.” She said serenely. “Don’t let her get into your head, okay?”

Hibiki’s smile was a mixture of knowing she was right, and wishing she wasn’t. But still, she pouted, holding out her hand. “Kiss and make it better!” She said like a five year old.

Clasping the hand she loved so dearly, Miku did just that. She felt Hibiki tense a bit at her lips touching her knuckle, and she wondered what kind of tremble it was. Before she could finish that line of thinking however, her phone vibrated violently on the table.

“Oh!” 

“Shhh.” Miku said, picking the phone up urgently. Pointing to the balcony, Hibiki nodded, opening up the patio door and closing it behind her. Glancing at her caller id, she sighed, before answering it. “Hey Kioku.”

“Hey…” The girl’s voice broke over the phone. 

“Whats up?” Miku asked gently, looking into her apartment and seeing Hibiki giving her the thumbs up from next to the beds. Good. They hadn’t awoken Kirika or Shirabe.

“Oh nothing, just feeling sorry for myself. Same old fucking shit.” She could hear her sniffling on the other side of the line. It sounded like she had been crying for hours already.

“Hey there, what’s wrong?” Miku hugged herself in the winter weather. Her slippers were not equipped for how cold it was. “Talk to me.”

“Fucking holidays…” She hiccuped and sobbed at the same time. “You never know how just alone you can truly be then when others are together you know?” There was a harshness in her words that reminded her of Chris. There was a pit of guilt in her stomach over forgetting to call her parents for Christmas.

“You’re not alone Kioku.” Miku assured. “It might seem like it in the worst of times, but there’s me, there’s Iwasawa, there’s Hibiki, and Chris.” She remembered that Kioku did not have parents, and the guilty pit in her stomach felt bottomless.

“Fucking Chris…” Miku could hear glasses clinking together on the other side of the line. “What happened to her Miku?”

“She’s si-”

“Bullshit she is!” Kioku said shrilly. “She’s not sick. You’re fucking lying and you fucking know it.” There was a loud bump, and Miku could hear her swearing loudly in the background.

“Kioku?”

“I dropped my phone.”

“Okay…” Miku sighed. She felt bad for Kioku, but she was not about to pull her into this. “Listen it’s…”

“Does she hate me or something? Is she fucking dead or what?” Her voice broke again, and Miku wished she didn’t answer the phone.. “I’m not asking for much, just don’t leave me in the dark okay? It’s like she got killed by Noise or something.”

Miku felt the pit in her stomach bottom out. “Kioku…” She muttered, heartbeat racing. “It’s not my place to tell. But Chris is okay, we’ll all hang out next week okay?” She said it quickly, finding it hard to get her breath for the words.

“You promise?”

“Yes Kioku!” Miku almost shouted, gripping onto the railing for support. It was like her heart was going to shoot out of her chest. It was beating fast. Too fast. Faster than the speed of light. 

“Hang on, Miku are you okay?” Kioku’s concerned voice sounded miles away.

“Batteries dying. Text me okay?” Miku said, hanging up before she could respond. Her phone slipped out of her hands and she had use to both of them to steady herself against the railing.

She couldn’t forget it. The sleepless nights alone in her bed. The unanswered texts. The constant delays. The not knowing. The waiting for the inevitable call that her best friend was dead.

_Ten minutes._

She went to her knees, taking in a deep breath of the cold wintery air. She didn’t even hear the patio door open, but she did feel Hibiki wrap herself around her. “Hey.” She whispered in her ear.

“Hibiki…” She breathed through her mouth, catching her breath as best she could.

“You okay?” She asked gently, rubbing up and down her back.

“Yeah, I just had a moment is all.” Miku assured her, turning her head to look into those wonderful eyes she loved so much. “They still asleep?”

Hibiki nodded. “Out like lights. Who was that on the phone?”

“Kioku. She’s having a rough time is all.” Miku could not help but notice just how soft Hibiki’s lips looked.

“Did you guys have a fight?” Hibiki asked, tilting her head in the most incredibly adorable way.

“No, nothing like that just…” Miku shook her head, turning herself to face her. “Kiss me.” She said breathlessly wrapping her arms around Hibiki and kissing her by surprise.

Hibiki’s words of shock died in Miku’s mouth. Clutching at her back, she was shocked as Miku crawled into her lap, falling back against the patio floor. Clutching one hand to her girlfriend’s arm was enough, and Miku broke the kiss.

“Sorry. I just…” Miku’s eyes looked wild, desperate, and full of a kind of desire that made Hibiki’s heart spin.

“It’s okay.” Hibiki grinned up at her. “Just maybe not out here?” She suggested. As if on cue, a car horn blared from down below, making them both giggle.

But when Hibiki felt Miku trace her cheeks, she felt something. It wasn’t a touch of desire, or love, or even of just wanting to touch her. No, it was a touch of confirmation. As if Miku did not believe what was beneath her was real. 

“You are…” She leaned down and kissed Hibiki again, just a peck, but it was delivered like a whisper. “Everything I could ever want.” She pulled Hibiki up into a sitting position, wrapping herself around her not unlike how Hibiki had spied Kirika doing to Shirabe.

“Miku, Miku, Miku.” Hibiki said with a smile. Picking them both up, she helped her girlfriend get her feet under her before letting go. “What am I gonna do with you?” She leaned forward and pecked her on the nose, before immediately regretting it. “Oh! I’m sorry!” She gasped at kissing the nose she recently broke.

“No it’s okay.” Miku said, waving her off. “It didn’t even hurt. You kissed it all better.” She said, bringing her girlfriend’s knuckle to her lips and delivering a kiss. “Let’s head inside?”

Hibiki nodded, both going into the warm apartment and shutting the door behind them. The two had quite a lot on their mind, so much that neither noticed the tape on the lock of the door.

~!~

“Hmm.”  
  
Genjuro took his foot off the levar, shutting the bathroom trash can lid as he did so. The bathroom was in good condition sans the mirror that Maria had broken the other day. The stalls were as clean as a bathroom could be, there were no signs of blood, no signs of anything out of the ordinary. 

And yet something about it all did not quite sit right with him.

The building he was standing in was the same one that once housed the organization that was _Section 2_ . It had been reborn into SONG following the _Frontier_ incident, but before then it was the lighthouse that his father used to watch over heretical technology. More importantly, the greatest foreign threat that had ever come to Japan.

The Noise.

For all of the strength that Genjuro possessed, he could never hope to harm the Noise. He would instead steer himself to be the anchor for those that would wield the Symphogears, those that could stand against the Noise. 

But much like how his father left Section 2 following the disappearance of _Ichaival,_ so too did Genjuro repeat the mistake his father did. So prepared they were for the foreign threats, they never stopped to think of the threats that were domestic. That which could come from within, that which would be from those they cared deeply for.

It had been a clever ruse. Finé used the Noise and the Symphogears to distract from her true goal all along. _Kadingir_ . A massive particle canon built above _The Abyss_ in their very own elevator shaft. An enormously dangerous weapon capable of destroying celestial bodies. 

Hiding her true plan in plain sight. 

No one the wiser.

Was he falling for the same ruse again?

The bathroom door opened amid his musings, and he was thankful it was not one of the girls who needed it.

“Ogawa.” Genjuro greeted, standing up from his kneeling position.

“Commander.” Ogawa said cheerfully. “Security has confirmed that everyone has made it to Chris-san’s apartment safely for the party.” He closed the door behind him.

“Good. Was the cake delivered successfully?” 

“Yes Commander.”

“Good! I slaved over that for hours.” The laugh in his voice did not meet his eyes. “And the apartment is secure?”

“Souji is not one to miss any detail. No matter how small.” Ogawa said with confidence. “It would take a brash combination of foolishness and bravery to make a move on them tonight.” The younger man rested against the wall, noting Genjuro’s thorough inspection.

“Tell your brother that we owe him a great debt for this favor.” Genjuro said sincerely. “The enemy moves with intimate knowledge that should be beyond even Finé.” His eyes narrowed staring at the cracked mirror. “How did she know about the apartments?”

“Whoever is attempting to imitate her certainly has their work cut out for them.” The young man said. “Could it be something so simple as a tracking device in her clothing?” Ogawa suggested.

Genjuro had considered that. It would be remarkably easy, especially with how public of a sphere Chris had been in prior to the attack. “But what does this mean for what happened to Shirabe-kun?” He pondered outloud.

“You disagree with Elfnein-san’s prognosis?” Ogawa asked. 

“No. The blood work came back. The iron deficiency is clear as day.” Genjuro put his hand under his chin, deep in thought. “But of all the things to hallucinate…” 

Ogawa took a step forward, inspecting the glass from where Maria had shattered the mirror. “The girls have been under due stress as of late, with little sleep in the wake of the attack. Implausible as it may seem, I think it is not outside the realm of possibility that we are looking for clues, instead of finding them.” Ogawa’s words were careful, but measured and polite. “And you would do well to get yourself some sleep as well Commander.”

Genjuro laughed genuinely at that. “You are correct.” He paused, allowing himself to lean back in a stretch. “After I get the sink repaired I think I will catch shut eye early.”

“Perhaps I can take a look at it in your stead?” Ogawa suggested. “If you wanted to go to the party that is.”

Genjuro sighed in appreciation. “Thank you Ogawa-san. The party is meant for the wielders, and they have earned the break therein.” He crossed his arms. “The last thing they need is some old man cramping their style.”

“Don’t let Chris-san hear that.” Ogawa teased gently, poking his head under the sink. “Where was the leak?”

Genjuro nodded, thinking of the birthday girl. “Under the center sink.” He pointed out helpfully, walking towards the door. “Have a good night Oga-”  
  
“Commander!”

Genjuro’s hand stopped on the door, turning immediately to the ninja who had shot back up like a spring. In a moment he walked over to him, holding out his hand which had a colorless wet sheen to it. “Here.” Ogawa said simply, giving his hand to Genjuro to smell.

Putting it to his nostrils, they flared at the repugnant smell. “Ammonia?” 

“Have they cleaned in here recently?” Ogawa asked, his voice as serious as a gun.

“I don’t believe so.” Genjuro looked down at the residue beneath the sink. How could he have missed that? “Elfnein said the room was cleared by…” They both looked at the shattered mirror on the wall. “Maria-kun.”

Both men looked at each other, Ogawa quickly breaking for the door, when an urgent thought ran through Genjuro’s head.

“Ogawa!” He made no attempt to grab his brother in arms, appreciating the respect the younger man showed to him by stopping before he could go.

“Sir?”

“Information will overwhelm us.” Genjuro said carefully. “Whomever is doing this is operating under a modus operandi that requires us to play along.” His nail dug in the well formed scar inside his palm.

“Breadcrumbs.” Ogawa said, picking up his line of thinking.

“Up until now we have played along out of necessity. Out of security.” Genjuro thought long and hard about the potential ramifications of what he was about to suggest. “But if we were to become lost in the woods, to play the fool…”

“Then they would need to drop more breadcrumbs.” Ogawa considered what was being said. 

“Whomever is doing this is stringing us along.” Genjuro was pacing now. “Letting us find just enough to keep us on their tail, but rarely outright directly making moves.”

“Perhaps they know they would lose.” Ogawa remarked.

“To pursue it would follow into their hands more.” Genjuro stopped pacing, tapping his chin. “But if we play dumb, stroke their ego...”

“Then they would have to dumb it down for us.” Ogawa followed along. “More brazen displays, less grace. More risk.”

“More violence.” Genjuro finished his thought.

The dripping from the faucet echoed for what felt like eternity.

“Can we afford that risk?” Genjuro asked at last.

“They cannot be allowed to be alone. Not even for a moment.” Ogawa said, knowing that tonight would not be the only night he would have to call on the aid of his clan.

“If we do this, we must not disclose it to anyone.” Genjuro said gravely.

“What if this is a mistake?” Ogawa said, as Genjuro knew he would.

“Then we double down. We secure the girls, take minimal risks, and isolate the target.” Genjuro said with authority.

“Easier said than done.” Ogawa was silent for several moments. “Do you think Finé could really be taking over Maria-san? Or are we allowing information to overwhelm us even now?” He gestured below the sink. “Cleaner on the bathroom floor is hardly a smoking gun.”

He took off his glasses, frustrated as Genjuro had ever seen him. “What if we’re wrong?” The ninja asked.

Genjuro’s mind raced. Raced to the image of the catatonic Tsubasa clutching to what little remained of Kanade. The vine-like cage around Hibiki’s heart as _Gungnir_ threatened her life. The falling light of Chris’s body coming back to earth. The sound of Kirika’s Climax Song, sung in defiance of Divine Power. The choking gasp of Maria, attacked at once by Noble Red. Of Shirabe, her soul piggybacking for the consciousness of Finé. Of Miku, disparaging the callousness of his words.

“What if we’re right?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter we get to see Chris's birthday party! Yay!!!!!!!
> 
> The Next Chapter is titlted "The Power Of A Young Girl In Love Is Amazing"
> 
> :)
> 
> Sleep tight kiddos~


	9. The Power Of A Young Girl In Love Is Amazing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey wow. So this is a thing.
> 
> Straight up. This chapter is very emotional. And features extremely difficult discussion and processing of trauma that includes rape, codependency, suicidal thoughts. Etc.
> 
> Please, times are hard all around. If you need to take time for yourself before reading this, don't feel bad.

_She watched the woman’s eyes flutter open to look at her._

_“Chris?” Finé asked groggily._

_“You’re awake.” Chris breathed a sigh of relief, taking the wet washcloth off the older woman's head. “How are you feeling?”_

_“Like a building fell on me.” Finé said, sitting up in bed. She looked to the side, seeing the breakfast tray at her bedside. “Pancakes and soup again?” She asked in an inquisitive voice. It had been her breakfast the last few days since her return._

_Chris looked away, insecure. “It’s all I could figure out how to make.” She trembled under Finé’s gaze, looking at her hands in self hatred. “I’m sorry.”_

_“Oh Chris.” She sighed wistfully. “Come here.” She opened her arms up, sitting back in the bed expectantly._

_Chris hesitated, before climbing in the bed with her. “This doesn't hurt?” She asked, concerned, wrapping herself up next to her._

_“It does.” Finé said through gritted teeth. “But pain is a beautiful thing.” She said closing her eyes, stroking up and down Chris’s back._

_“I hate pain.”_

_“Oh Chris.” Finé mused, as if lost in nostalgia. “One day I will teach you.”_

_“Teach me what?” Chris said, looking up at her._

_Finé stared down at her lovingly, a smile on her face. “Oh Chris I could teach you so many things.” She said, a finger underneath the girl's chin._

_Chris was sure her heartbeat could be heard by everyone in the room. “I…”_

_“Did you miss me Chris?”_

_“Yes!” She said loudly, sitting up slightly. “You were gone longer than you said you would be!” Childish tears stung at her eyes. “I don’t want you to go away again…”_

_“I might have to Chris. My job is very demanding.”_

_“No!” Chris sobbed. She felt younger than she was. “Please...don’t leave me again like that.”_

_“If only you could convince me to stay…” Finé mused in a tone of voice that was hauntingly familiar._

_“What do you mean?” Chris asked, breath catching as Finé’s finger trailed up and down her throat._

_“Don’t worry about it. I’m here now.” She said, letting her finger trail up Chris’s face, cupping her chin. “Let’s just spend today together okay?_

_“Okay.” Chris said, gulping. She gasped when she felt Finé turned her around, bringing her close back against the older woman’s chest. “What do you want to do?”_

_She could hear the smirk in her voice._

_“Tell me Chris, have you ever been kissed?”_

~!~

“And what’s the name on the order?”

“Akatsuki!” Kirika answered helpfully.

“Listen for your name!”

Kirika returned to her seat at the corner table they had gotten with a smile on her face. They were out for Chris’s birthday dinner and she was so very happy that they chose this spot. Only Tsubasa joined her Chris and Shirabe for the dinner, as Miku and Hibiki had afternoon classes, and Maria was doing SONG work. However nothing could distract her from how happy she was that they were all out together.

“Ohhhh! Senpai-sama are you writing music again?” She asked the birthday girl.

“Trying to.” Chris smiled at her, setting the sheet music aside. Even upside down, Kirika could read the title of _Painkiller_ clear as day.

“Kirichan, did you remember to give them all of our orders and not just yours?” Shirabe asked.

 _“Lain!”_ The waitress called out an order.

“I remembered everyone’s! I wrote it down!” Kirika said, pointing the scribbles on her hand.

 _“Mikki!”_ A girl who sat closest to them got up and went to get her order.

“Maybe if you did that senpai you’d remember to clean up after yourself.” Chris mused with a grin at her senior, who looked quite put out at the implication.

 _“Inizio!”_ A young woman looked up from her phone before collecting her order.

“I don’t need a reminder on cleaning!” Tsubasa said indignantly.

 _“Maji!”_ Kirika took mental note that their order should be coming up soon.

“Yeah you’re right you need lessons.” Chris grinned. “No wonder you have that ninja fussing over you-”

_“I’m not cooking for them!”_

Tsubasa immediately tensed at the sudden outburst, casting a cautious glance to the kitchen of _Takashi Noodle._ She had instinctively grabbed onto Chris’s hand, ready to bolt at the soonest sign of threat. 

“What’s going on…?” Kirika stared back at the kitchen.

“Kirichan, it's rude to stare.” Shirabe said, also staring into the kitchen.

_“I already told you I’m not fucking doing it!”_

“I can’t see!” Chris asked, being too short to see over Kirika and Shirabe.

“Workplace disagreement.” Tsubasa muttered. “Regardless!” She turned back to them, her pride on the line. “I do not require Ogawa-san’s assistance to be-”

“ _You can’t make me!”_ Pots and pans clattered loudly from behind the counter. A thunderous symphony of metal ringing throughout the restaurant, bringing with it an abrupt silence.

“The hell…” Chris felt her skin crawl at the language.

_“Back the fuck off!”_

“Stay here.” Tsubasa stood up and walked towards the counter, hearing the sounds of the argument continuing in the kitchen. 

“Do you think it’s a fight?” Kirika asked, eyes following Tsubasa to the counter.

“It’s not our business.” Shirabe said quietly, sitting back down.

Kirika’s less than subtle sleuthing brought a smile to Chris’s face, but she could not help but notice how distracted Shirabe looked. Gently she reached across the table and took the girl’s hand in hers. “You doing okay?” She asked softly.

“Hmmm.” Shirabe’s eyes did not move from the hand that held hers. “I guess.” She muttered.

“Hey.” Chris ran her thumbs over her knuckles gently. “You don’t have to be okay if you’re not, you know.” The younger girl looked uncomfortable at the suggestion.

“But it’s your birthday! I sh-”

“That’s right!” Chris remarked with a grin. “It is my birthday. So what I say goes.” The girl’s pink eyes met her with uncertainty.

“Senpai…” She looked away again. “It’s your important day.”

“You’re more important.” Chris said flatly. “If you don’t wanna talk about it, that’s fine. But don’t think you gotta sit on it just because I’m getting older.” She noticed that while Kirika was still looking at the counter, she was clearly listening in.

“How…” Shirabe’s words broke off for a moment. “How do I know if something was real or not?” Her voice was quivering; quivering enough for Kirika to fully turn around and silently sit back down next to her.

“Do you think it happened?” Chris asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Elfnein said-”

“I don’t give a shit what shrimp says.” Chris interrupted immediately. “Do _you_ think it happened?” Her words were as gentle as they could be while being bossy. She could see the sea of uncertainty in the girls eyes. The self doubt, the look that said to shut up and clam up and to stop this nonsense. The kind of look that would breed a lot of bad problems sooner than later, especially now.

“Yes.” She whispered out.

“Shirabe…” Kirika wrapped her arms around the girl like a koala. 

“Okay.” Chris said simply.

This drew a puzzled look from Shirabe. “What?”

“I said okay.” Chris repeated for her. “I believe you. Now what can we do about it?”

“But…” Shirabe stuttered out. “But we do not have the evidence!” She hated how high pitched her voice was getting. She was doing the worst thing. She was running Chris-senpai’s special day. “We don’t have anything to confirm it!”

“We got you.” Chris said with a shrug. “More than enough for me.”

“I-” Shirabe’s words were cut off by a hand on her shoulder. The sudden touch made her jump at the supportive gesture from Tsubasa, who had their tray of food in hand.

“Your word is all the evidence we require Tsukuyomi.” The swordswoman said reassuredly, before dishing out the various noodle dishes. 

“Eat!” Chris insisted. “You’ll feel better.” She said as she began to pig out on her own dish of noodles. 

Shirabe wanted to shut up. She wanted to run out. She wanted to bury all the uncertainty that she was feeling in a little box and lock it away. She wanted to burn the concerned looks her seniors were giving her from her mind, and never remember them for the rest of her life.

And then she felt Kirika kiss her cheek.

“Shirabe is my moon.” Kirika said brightly. “No matter how dark, no matter how scary, she’s always shining.” The blonde said, wrapping her arms around Shirabe in a fiercely protective and affectionate hug.

“Kirichan.” A rare smile lit her lips and she returned Kirika’s hug. It was like yesterday never even happened. “Thank you.”

“Sheesh,” Chris said, dishing some noodles for herself. “You two need to quit hanging out with the dummy so much, she’s starting to rub off on you.”

~!~

She heard Maria say “Trust me,” with a wink.

She saw Miku’s eyes light up, her taste buds exploding with joy as the sweet tomato slipped into her mouth. “My goodness!” She exclaimed. “Maria-san, how did you get this to taste so delightful?”

“It’s all in how you grow them.” She heard Maria say with a smug smile.

She saw Hibiki slump against the couch, three plates of cake utterly destroyed. “I’m so full…” The girl literally bellyached from the couch, and it made her almost giggle.

“You ate so much Hibiki-san! Where do you put it?” She smiled at Kirika’s pondering. Hibiki looked ready to pop, not helped by Kirika poking her stomach.

But it was her senpai and kohai that brought her the most joy.

“Tsukuyomi, you will be forced to face the indignity of defeat!” Tsubasa shouted fiercely, clutching the controller hard enough that it threatened to snap.

“Are you so sure Tsubasa-san?” Shirabe said, smirking.

In a flash, she t-boned Tsubasa’s virtual car, blowing right past her to easily take first place. “No!” Tsubasa roared with over dramatic flair, quite unbefitting of an idol. All eyes were on Tsubasa as laughter broke out at the bluenette’s expense. 

She couldn’t help but join in, even just a little bit. It filled her heart with a kind of lightness that seemed to spread to the rest of her body. It gave her a dizzying feeling, like she might lift up out of her wheelchair and start bouncing around the ceiling. If she could she would wrap her arms around all of them and keep them safe from all the bad and horrible shit in the world so they knew they could be safe in her apartment. No one would ever be able to take this small little piece of happiness away from them or her ever again.

The perfect birthday gift for herself.

“That’s a good look on you.” Miku’s voice was so sudden it took her a minute to realize she was talking to her.

“Don’t tell anyone, but I actually like hanging out with you dolts.” Chris said sheepishly, too happy to even grin, but smile hopelessly at her birthday party. 

“I’m good at keeping secrets Chris.” Miku said with a wink. “Would you like to open your presents?” She requested gently.

Her words made her mentally stumble for a moment, but she refused to allow her brain to ruin the moment. “Yeah I think so.” she said quietly, making Miku smile as bright as the sun. She couldn’t help but feel her heart race, and thought deliriously to a time when she would have fiercely reacted in anger to the idea of people giving her things.

_Get on my level Lazarus._

“Everyone!” Miku’s voice cut through the noise perfectly. “It’s time for Chris to open her presents!”

“Oh! Oh! Do mine first Chris-chan!” Hibiki said. The two tons of cake in her stomach long forgotten, she leapt over the couch to dig in the present pile for her gift.

“Just as long as none of you bought me a car.” Chris said half joking, wheeling herself in front of the TV. Everyone had their gifts set out in an orderly fashion, she wasn’t sure where to start, but ever an angel, Miku saved her.

“Why don’t we start with this one?” She said, handing her a gift that you didn’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to know came from Kirika.

“Let’s see what this is?” Chris tore off the green wrapping paper and found herself shocked to see the book beneath it. “ _Through the Looking Glass?”_ She said in pleasant shock.

“It’s my favorite!” Kirika said cheerfully.

“I read the first one.” Chris said absentmindedly, leafing through the small book. The book was a fancier version of it, with full illustrated paintings within for the more famous poems. What stuck out to her far more than anything was the painting of the _Jabberwocky_. A dragon with a vest on, its long snake-like neck and bulbous head would have given Freud a heart attack. But it was the eyes that drew her attention, like two flying saucers, bigger than its mouth. It looked more like an insect than a reptile.

“It kind of looks like Dr. Ver.” Kirika said, making Maria chortle in response.

“Yeah.” Chris said, before smiling at her and setting it aside. “Thanks brat.” She reached over and gave the girl a small punch to the shoulder, making the blonde smile.

“Senpai liked mine best!” Kirika said shamelessly.

“Kirichan, yours is the only gift she’s opened.” Shirabe said, deadpan. 

Taking the initiative, Hibiki shoved her gift into Chris’s hands. “Mine next Chris-chan!”

She considered opening it last, but decided to be nicer, and unwrapped the brick shaped present. She recognized the titles immediately,“I read the books, are the movies good?”

“They are! They’re super old, but the Master says they are great to learn new ways to fight!”  
  
Chris then saw the runtime, “ _Oi! How long are these fucking movies?”_

Hibik scratched the back of her head nervously. “Aheh, well I normally fast forward through the boring parts! But the second one is my favorite! There’s one part where a guy uses a shield as a skateboard and shoots like forty arrows at once!”

Chris stared at her for almost a full minute, before, against her will, she broke out into a giggle fit that brought out the purest grin on Hibiki’s face. “Well, next thing I need to learn how to do is skateboard I guess.” She said when Shirabe very abruptly pushed her large gift into her hands.

“I hope you like it.” Her kohai muttered insecurely.

“Oi, if you got it for me, how could I not like it?” Chris said with a reassuring grin. Untying the bow on the long box, she could not believe what was inside. “You’re kidding me.” Chris said dumbfounded as she held the skateboard in her hands.

“Now you don’t have to try as hard to keep up with us during workouts!” Hibiki said with a smile.

“ _THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?”_ Chris barked, ready to leap over and strangle her when she saw Shirabe looking worried. “Teach me how to ride on this thing sometime?” She said with a cool smirk.

Shirabe smiled and nodded. “Okay!”

“Here you go.” Maria said, handing her a small box. “Don’t break it now.”

Chris resisted the urge to drop it right then and there, instead flashing her a wry grin. “Hope you got insurance on it.” She said as she opened the box, and was genuinely disappointed with what she saw. “Oh, thanks Maria.” She said, feeling her face flush.

“Won’t hurt you to have a cellphone now will it?” Maria said like a mother.

Chris could feel her insecurities drawing in on herself. She always knew that being a part of SONG meant that she would be monitored in some way. But not having a cellphone meant she got to have a certain degree of control over that. It meant people had to go out of their way to talk to her, they had to actually inconvenience themselves, and they’d be less likely to do it. She was not agoraphobic, but she had her limits, and people were so quick to ignore when you needed time away from people. It was why she got rid of her cellphone in the first place after the _Yggdrasil_ incident, much as she cared for her _Lydian_ classmates, she also valued what little downtime she had. 

“Thanks Maria…” Chris said, not even believing the words herself.

She could see Maria’s face remain completely neutral, with just the slightest twitch at the corner of her mouth. At first she thought it was born from displeasure, but it looked like she was trying hard not to grin.

“Miku, give her your gift!” Hibiki said brightly.

You’d have to be a lot faster than Hibiki or Miku were to sneak a discreet look at each other by Chris, but it was nonetheless appreciated. That is until she saw the size of the gift, and the immense sense of guilt that was completely absent with how she felt about the other gifts came back in force here. Why was she doing this? Getting her something like this? Didn’t she realize that-

Chris took a deep breath, trying to swallow all the anxiety in the world, and let it out slowly as could be. Taking a glance at Miku, “This better have been cheap.” She warned, unwrapping the present.

“I....” Chris’s voice shook as she took it in. Inside the box was a beautiful instrument. Four strings lining up the shaft of the wonderful mahogany crafted violin. A piece of modern art, and one that she had seen a long time ago. It was virtually identical, a modern version of what a young man would play for his wife and daughter in their backyard under a starry sky.

“You still owe me a concert you know.” Miku said gently.

Chris could only wipe the tears out of her eyes, weary to cry on her gift. “You’re such a bitch, you know that?” She chuckled, trying to keep it together.

Hibiki spoke in a lower voice. “When you are feeling more up to it, I think we’d all love to hear you play.”

“Yeah.” Kirika encouraged, her voice soft. “I don’t know how to play any instruments, so maybe you can show me how.”

“I’d love to.” Chris’s voice cracked. 

She felt it now. The overwhelming sense of being watched. Of being looked at. Of all eyes on her like she was in the true center of attention.

And yet her heart did not race.

Nor did her skin crawl.

She felt like she was floating on her back, in the middle of the ocean. But she was not by herself. They were there. Fingers just under her, keeping her from slipping beneath the sea.

“You all suck.” She blubbered out. The sobs were unstoppable now, and they came from deep in her chest that were far beyond her control.

It was strange.

She didn’t feel sad.

All she could feel was grateful.

She wasn’t sure who wrapped their arms around her first, but she was shocked at how she didn’t flinch. She didn’t jump. The inherent flight response was quelled, as one by one, each of them surrounded her in embrace. Someone, she wasn’t sure who, was stroking the back of her head, gentle assurances were lost in a low hum. It was all she could do to last this long, and she let out a wail of long stored pain, her body shaking with the pain of nineteen long years.

And through it all they kept her afloat, kept her from slipping beneath the waves. Keeping her adrift in the endless sea.

She felt light as a feather, and free as a bird.

“I love you guys, but it’s getting hot in here.” Chris said after a while.

There were some nervous chucklings, and everyone slowly pulled away, Miku carefully placing the gift on the table. Their eyes met knowingly, and for a long minute all Chris wanted for her birthday was for that girl to kiss her.

“Yukine.” Tsubasa began, and it was only then that she noticed her senpai looked misty eyed. “If you ever have to.” She handed her a thin box with a bow around it.

Chris could feel a slight apprehension, but upon opening it, she felt from the same place that had borne great sobs now gave birth to raucous laughter. “A knife!” She guffawed, crying from laughter now as she held the box with the butterfly knife in her hand. “Of course you got me a fucking knife senpai.” She laughed hard enough for it to hurt to even breathe.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tsubasa said, offended, shocked into silence by a piece of cake being slipped into her mouth by Maria.

“It means she likes it Tsubasa.” Maria said helpfully disproving her girlfriend's fears.

“Now Chris-chan can stab people on her skateboard!” Hibiki said, bravado puffing in her chest.

“Do not stab people on your skateboard Yukine.”

“DO STAB PEOPLE ON YOUR SKATEBOARD!” Kirika said, full of pep and cheer.

“Maybe a few people.” Miku winked at her.

“Only the fascists.” Shirabe added, and Chris couldn’t help but laugh.

“Let’s clean up in here a bit.” Maria said pointedly. “Not fair to make a mess of the birthday girl's home.” She immediately picked up a trash bag and put it in Tsubasa’s hands. “You don’t move.” She ordered sternly, not wanting the mess to take more time than need be.

“Wha?” Tsubasa looked quite nonplussed, but obeyed even as the others began to fill the bag with trash.

“Thanks again,” Chris muttered quietly enough that only her senpai heard it.

“Thank you, Yukine.” Tsubasa said gently.

“I have a first name you know.” Chris said with a huff and a grin. Truth be told, as much as she enjoyed giving her senpai grief, the exhaustion of the day was washing over her like a cold shower. 

“Put all the gifts together Hibiki.” Miku helpfully suggested to her girlfriend.

“Hey.” Chris called for her.

“Yes Chris?” Miku turned her head to look at her, and Chris felt like she could die peacefully just like that.

“Can you help me?” Chris slouched back in her chair, her entire body feeling like she just ran a marathon. “To my room that is.” She said in a quieter voice.

Without a word, Miku nodded.

Getting behind her chair, Miku whispered, “You should say goodnight though.”

“I’m not that rude jeez.” Chris said defensively, before yawning. “I’m heading to bed you guys.” She said just loud enough to be heard over the cleaning commotion. “Keep it down out here.”

“Goodnight Chris-chan! Happy birthday.” Hibiki said with a cheer, and to her shock, a bow.

“Goodnight senpai.” Shirabe said, also bowing at her.

“Happy birthday! Dess!” Kirika saluted her with a cheer.

“Get some shut eye sleeping beauty.” Maria chuckled, taking the bag from Tsubasa’s hand and putting another empty garbage bag in its place.

“Goodnight Yukine.” Tsubasa said with a rare smile. A brief flash of regret flashed over her face over her name choice, but before she could amend it Miku had already pushed Chris out of the room.

“Some party.” Chris said, wiping her eyes. “What was that? Making me cry and shit?”

Miku just giggled as they reached her bedroom door. “Don’t think you can avoid giving me my private concert.” She said with a grin.

“Oi you’ll get your concert alright.” Chris said, before realizing Miku was waiting for her to open the door. “Oh um, do you w-want, I mean m-mind going in with me?” She stammered out nervously.

“Oh?” Miku said with surprise. “I’m allowed into Chris’s elusive room!” She smiled and opened the door for her, pushing the wheelchair inside and shutting out the noise behind her.

The room was far from what Miku expected. Spacious like the living room, the bed reminded her of a smaller version of her parent’s bed. Full sized and off the ground, but tucked away in the corner to maximize the space. A long desk built into the wall took up the entire left side of the room, with certain areas dedicated to different things. She could easily spy work for SONG, work for school, and musical sheets, which took up most of the desk space. But what pleasantly surprised her the most were the pictures. Six in total, all along the wall, each featuring a different wielder. She absently bemoaned the fact that Chris herself wasn’t on the wall, when she remembered where she was.

“I’ve never seen this before.” Miku said fondly, reaching over to turn on the light.

“Hang on.” Chris said. Wheeling herself over to the desk, she fetched a box of matches, using it to light up a candle she had seated on the windowsill just over her bed. Standing out of the chair with some difficulty, she put the candle back, the lovely scents burning.

“It must be nice, when the moon pours in here at night.” Miku said softly.

“It’s weird, but I don’t like using the light in here.” Chris said awkwardly, her face shining in the candlelight.

“It’s not weird.” Miku assured her. “Goodnight Chris. Happy birthday.” She turned to leave, when Chris called out to her.

“Wait!” She urged loudly.

“Oh?” Miku turned to her. “Is something wrong?” Her eyes were brilliantly emerald, and if she wasn’t careful, Chris was going to drown in them.

“Can we talk?” She asked, her face burning as she sat herself on her bed.

“Of course Chris.” Miku said gently. She walked forward, pulling Chris’s wheelchair away from the bed, “May I sit here?” She asked politely, to which Chris nodded. “What’s on your mind?”

This was it.

This was fucking it.

“I had a dream about you.” Chris said honestly.

“What?” Miku yelped, very suddenly blushing in response.

“Oh not like that!” Chris bemoaned, putting her face in her hands.

_Don’t chicken out._

“Oh!” Miku said, sounding just relieved enough to break Chris’s heart. “What was it about then, if you don’t mind me asking?” The question was so innocent, Chris dreaded answering it.

“It was like yours.” Chris said with finality. 

“...What?” Miku asked incredulously. She looked confused. As if she was trying to figure out just how much she understood Chris’s question and answer.

“You killed me. In my dream. Just like the one you had.” Chris muttered, missing the warmth of the candles flame next to her face. “Turned me into a silver statue. Just like you said.” 

“Chris…” She never said her name like that. Gone was using her name like it was the most important thing in the world. Now it was a desperate flail for a life preserver in the middle of the open ocean. 

“Yeah.” Chris replied. “It was…” She bit her lip, trying to think of what to say. 

_“I wish it was me Chris. I wish it was so much.”_

“Is it you?” Chris asked suddenly, shocking Miku out of whatever was in her thoughts.

“What?” She replied in shock.

“Is it you?” Chris asked again. There was an odd swelling in her chest. One that felt like determination. “Doing all this shit? This shit with Finé. With whatever happened with Shirabe. With whatever the fuck is going on.”

“I…”

And just like that, all the air in the balloon that was that determination was let out. Replacing it was fear. Real fear. The same kind of fear that was in Miku’s eyes. There was no outrage, no denial, but instead, uncertainty. Insecurity. Borderline panic, but worst of all, revelation.

_Fuck._

_Miku…_

_Is it you?_

“I don’t know.” Miku said. “I don’t think so!” She replied louder, almost flinching at her own voice. “I don’t want...it to be?” She didn’t look like she believed a word coming out of her own mouth. 

“Not wanting it to be you and it being you are two different things Miku.” Chris said solemnly. She could feel a headache coming on, pulsing at her temples.

She was mere feet away, yet as far as Chris was concerned, there was an ocean between them.

“Is it me?” Miku whispered.

She couldn’t get that nightmare out of her head now. The way she cut through all the other wielders like they were paper. She had done it not out of divinity, not out of hatred, but out of love. Love for all of them and love for Hibiki.

Was her love being used against her _again?_

Did she even deserve to love?

“I’m not certain, but I don’t think it’s you.” Chris’s words startled her out of her self deprecation.

“You don’t?” Miku said, sounding more shocked than relieved.

Chris shook her head. “I think my brain thinks it is though.” 

“Chris!” Miku’s voice was a hushed shout. “What you’re saying isn’t making any sense!” Her eyes were a plea, and Chris wondered if those eyes would be ruby when she looked into them.

“I know.” Chris admitted. She wished she was more certain. She wished she was more confident in her suspicions. 

She wished she didn’t have to do this.

“Could it be her?” Chris asked point blank. “Could it be Shem-Ha?” She hated to see the color drain out of Miku’s face, as the sobering reality descended on her.

“You think she’s controlling me?” Miku whispered.

“I don’t know.” Chris said, feeling worse with every word that left her lips. “In my dream...it didn’t matter.” She bit her lip. “It didn’t matter what the context was. You were the one hurting me.”

Miku did not blink, just staring at her like she was looking through all of space and time.

“You were Shem-Ha.” She started with what they both knew. “But it changed. You were… in _Val Verde._ Renting me out.” She couldn’t look at Miku. Not now. “And then I saw her. Finé. And she told me how much she wished it was her. Wished she was the one behind what happened at _Highton View Terrace_. Because it’d be easier if it was her.”

_Stop being a fucking coward._

She looked at Miku.

“Because it’d be easier if it wasn’t you.”

Miku had silent tears streaming down her face, no longer looking at Chris, but at her own knuckles which were white in terror. 

“Miku.” Chris loved saying her name, but this was now beyond her own selfish desires. “Listen, it’s a dream. It could mean nothing. Lot’s of things in it didn’t make a damn bit of sense.” She leaned forward, her short legs dangling off the bed.

“Chris, for fuck’s sakes _do you think it’s me or not?”_ Miku angrily whispered.

“I don’t know!” She said defensively. “It could just be my fucked up brain being fucked up you know?” Chris offered. Her heart was racing a million miles a minute now. “It’s like how you have a bad experience with food as a kid, and it’s just ruined for you forever you know?"

“Chris.” Miku put her hands in her hair, ready to rip it all out. “ _What?”_

Chris gulped. Somehow this was harder.

“You and Finé are the only people I've felt this way about before.” And there it was. The least romantic confession in the history of forever. ”You told me about your dream right before I saw her. So maybe my brain made the connection.” The more she talked the more insane it seemed. “I didn’t have dreams about you being Shem-Ha before that day so I figured…”

“Chris…” Miku pinched the bridge of her nose. “You didn’t dream about Shem-Ha.”

The pregnant silence made Chris hate her so much. Because as much as she tried to deny it to herself, she knew exactly what Miku meant.

“You didn’t dream about Shem-Ha killing you.” Miku said, leaning forward in the chair. “You dreamt about me killing you.” She smirked, and it made her stomach turn. “Didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you ever scare yourself Chris?” Miku asked, her whispered words possessed a manic energy. The hint of a smile on Miku’s face, the jitteriness of her hands, the dancing eyes. It was like the girl was using everything in her power to stay seated.

“Yes.”

For a moment she thought about calling out to the others, for Tsubasa, for anyone, everyone.

“I scare myself everyday.” Miku whispered. “It’s like I’m talking to a brick wall half the time.” She stood up now, the wheelchair rolling behind her and almost hitting the door. “ _Oh it wasn’t your fault Miku. You weren't in control. You didn’t have a choice._ ” She parroted, pacing the room. “I always had a choice. And I made the same one. Every time.”

Chris didn’t dare speak. Didn’t dare say a word.

“And that choice killed people.” There was endless contempt behind her words. “And whether it was god or Doctor Ver, I made the choice. I did it.” She looked at Chris, tears shining in her eyes. “Me.” She whispered, pointing at herself.

“No.” Chris stood up now, almost falling over as the blood rushed to her feet. “Being put into a situation where no isn’t something you can say does not count as making a choice!” She whisper shouted. The last thing she needed was the others involved.

“Stop trying to absolve me of guilt!” Miku said angrily, stepping towards her. “What is it? Do you think if you acknowledge my own participation in what happened you won’t be able to crush on me anymore, is that it?” Her words carried a sneer unbecoming of her that cut right into Chris’s heart.

“This isn’t about whether you're guilty, it's about whether or not you're being used again!” Chris retorted, feeling her ears getting hot.

“Like you’d bother to see a difference.” Miku said with a cruel grin. “Doesn't matter if I’m guilty or not. You and everyone else would never _dare_ blame me for it.” She was nose to nose with her now. “Because no matter how many people I fucking kill, it’s still easier to pretend I’m just some damsel in distress isn’t it?”

“Shut up!” Chris grabbed her by the front of her dress angrily. “What the fuck do we get out of blaming you for everything huh?” Her voice was still a hushed shout, frighteningly intimate. “Tell me more about being a damsel and making stupid decisions that get people killed!”

“Get off me!” Miku pushed her back onto the bed, looking red in the face. “Those are not the same things and you know it. Finé stole your life from you.” She gritted her teeth saying the words, looking like she was ready to punch a wall. “I don’t have that excuse.”

“Having a shitty life isn’t an excuse for killing people.” Chris seethed through ragged breaths.

“But being under someone else's control is?” Miku countered in a voice that was far too sweet. “I get to just wash my hands of all the blood on them huh?” She put her hands behind her back, leaning forward at Chris. “You’re right Chris. It’s not a choice when someone puts you in a position where you can’t say no, but that doesn't change the fact that I would not have said no.” When the words left her lips, there was a flash, even if only for an instant, of incredible weakness in her eyes. “I said yes.” She repeated with a bitter laugh, falling back into the chair.

“I did too.” Chris refused to let the silence fill the void between them. She couldn't. Not now. Not ever again.

“Chris…” Miku’s voice was rising.

“Please. Let me finish.” Chris pleaded deeply, pushing herself to the edge of her bed once more. Miku stared her down in contemplation, but nodded.

“Okay.”

Chris sighed, a bitter smile on her face. “Power of a young girl in love is amazing huh?” She shook her head, laughing softly. “The things you do for love. You lie to yourself, telling yourself it’s for other reasons, but deep down. You know why.”

Miku sat up straighter in the wheelchair, watching her carefully.

“You asked me if I ever scare myself.” She tsked. “Goddamn do I.” She bit her lip for the hundredth time that night and tasted blood. “It’s so easy to look back now and say she used me. Say she raped me. Say she brainwashed me.” She shook her head, lost in nostalgia. “I still remember the first time we kissed.” 

She looked up to the ceiling now, as if staring into the night sky. 

“I was a loyal fucking lap dog for her. On her beck and fucking call, day in, and day out.” She could taste the blood dripping down her chin. “She almost died and I made her breakfast in bed for three fucking days straight.” She laughed again, hollow and hate filled. “And then she asked me if I’d ever been kissed.”

She smirked a sad little smirk to herself.

“She said that didn’t count. That all those times weren't my first kiss, weren't my first time.” She shook her head. “That was the first night she kissed me and I swear I never felt more alive before that moment.” She threw _Ichaival_ against the wall, the relic clattering to her desk. “She got to eat all she wanted in bed that night.” She hissed back tears at the horrible memory.

All she could do was lay back down in bed, her heart aching.“Because no matter how much she hurt me after, and no matter how much I hurt before…” She trailed off.

God she was tired.

“You felt loved.” Miku said softly, making Chris smile.

“Maybe it’s why I fell for you like the dummy did.” Chris wondered aloud. “When you’re starving any food on the table looks like a feast.” She sighed, regretting comparing Miku to Finé immediately. “Seems all I can do is fall in love with people I can’t have or who only wanted to use me.”

She felt Miku crawl into bed with her. Turning her head to one side, she looked into those emerald eyes she loved so much. “I’m listening.” Miku whispered, and she could feel the girl’s breath against her face and her heart raced like it had so many years ago.

“I loved her.” Chris admitted her greatest sin. “I loved her so fucking much. No matter how much she hurt me. No matter how much she ignored me when I said no.” Miku’s hand closed around hers. “All I wanted to do was repay the kindness she showed me.” 

The tears started again, and this time there was nothing but heartache within.

“No matter what it was. Go down on her, awaken a relic, let her torture me.” She sniffled, using her freehand to wipe her nose. “I could feel it. How wrong it was. How much pain I was causing. In the back of my head I knew that for all my talk of wanting to make a world a better place I was just making it worse.” She laughed at herself.

Laughed at the dumb naive girl she hated more than anyone else in the world.

“It was easy to ignore those doubts then.”

“You were in love.” Miku said softly.

“Yeah.” Chris said. “And then I saw how much she wanted Hibiki and it was like I could see through time.” There was a familiar edge to her voice now. “And I knew exactly what would happen to her if Finé got her hands on her. And then I’d just go in the garbage like a broken vibrator.” She closed her eyes, unable to even bear the sight of her ceiling.

“If I wasn’t such a jealous bitch, I might have even let her kill me for failing her.” Chris said, opening her eyes and turning on her side to look at Miku directly. “She raped me. She used me. She groomed me.” Her voice broke and she hated how stupid and weak she sounded when it did.  
  
“She fucked me up so much in the head that even now I find it hard to believe myself when I say what she did to me.” She continued, through another painful sob. “And every single day I think about it I just get more angry. Not at her for doing it to me, but because despite everything I miss her.”

Her nails dug into Miku’s hand, the sob in her heart coming to the surface.

“So I get it, okay?” She implored. “And maybe this is me being unfair, maybe it’s me projecting my shit where it shouldn’t be but.” She closed her eyes, her body shaking with the sobs coming from her. “But back then I would have blown up the world ten times if it meant Finé would pick me over Hibiki.” The last sentence was like a death sentence. 

Something between a sob and a scream came out of her then, choking back on it all. “She couldn’t even say goodbye. Why didn’t she say goodbye? Why did she talk to Hibiki instead of me?” She cried. She cried harder than the day she saw Finé become dust in the wind.

The day her heart died.

All she could do was curl into a ball.

She hated herself more than anything right then and now. She wasn’t sure what she expected from this conversation. Of all fucking nights to do it she did it on her own fucking birthday, and now here she was. Bearing her shitty soul for Miku to see just so she wouldn’t feel bad about the shit she had done.

But what she hated most of all was despite how much her heart raced for Miku she still wished that it was Finé laying next to her.

“I felt it all.” Miku’s words brought her back to reality. All of a sudden she was looking at emerald eyes that looked as sad as Chris felt. “Everytime she hit you. Every root of _Yggdrasil._ Every person that died from her.” She closed her eyes in sadness. “Every single one.”

It was Chris’s turn to be silent and listen.

“All because I could not tell Hibiki that I loved her.” She smiled, a smile so genuine that Chris fell in love with her all over again. “It sounds so selfish but after everything we had been through…” 

She curled up into a ball, just like Chris.

“She had a way to tell her. To tell her how I felt. To tell her what I had wanted to tell her for so long.” Miku shook her head with dejection. “And because I couldn’t muster up the words, people died. Again. The power of a young girl in love is just so fucking amazing.”

They both sat there, hand in hand for several minutes. Occasionally the sound of a passing car down on the street below would reach the windows, an ambience that was almost hypnotic enough to fall asleep to.

“What’s wrong with us?” Miku asked aloud. “How did we get this screwed up?”

“The old man would say it’s because of the failures of the adults before us.” Chris offered. “Finé would say it’s the Curse of Balal that prevents our mutual understanding.” She shrugged. “Suppose she and Shem-Ha would agree on that.”

They both stared into each other's eyes for a moment. If it was any other time, her mind would be racing at the possibility of Miku kissing her, holding her, touching her. But now, all she felt was alone, even right next to this girl who was just as lost as her.

“Maybe the world would be better off without us.” Miku said in a lost voice. “No one for Shem-Ha to come for, no one for Finé to come for. Maybe that’s how we make the world a better place.”

Chris sat up slowly. The sounds of passing cars below was reaching her window more and more, and she dimly wondered if they knew about what they were talking about. 

What would they say?

“Who knows.” Chris responded. “Maybe the world would be better off without us. Maybe Finé or Shem-Ha or whoever the fuck is doing this shit wouldn’t be around if we were dead.” She looked over to the girl in her bed, who still looked so very vulnerable. “But we’re here. The world is stuck with us, whether it likes it or not.” 

She felt a grin coming to her lips. If this world was so keen to punish them, then fine. She would take the lumps, and show the world that no matter what, she’d still stick around.

Miku sat up in bed, leaning against Chris till her head was resting on her shoulder. “What if it is me Chris?” There was a naked vulnerability in her words. She was reminded of the day this girl saved her life. The day she finally found another reason to live.

“Then I forgive you.” Chris responded, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “This world can take as much as it wants, but it can’t take us from each other.”

Miku smiled and closed her eyes. “You’re going to make someone feel like the luckiest girl in the world one day Chris.”

“Would you believe I was more worried about telling you about my crush than about my nightmare?” Chris said, enjoying this tender intimacy they were sharing. She knew Miku would never return her feelings, but that was okay. 

Sometimes it was good to not get what you want.

“We can’t ignore that nightmare Chris.”

“I know.”

She looked at Miku then, and really took in how she looked for what felt like the first time. Not the wielder of _Shénshòujìng_ , not the housewife of Hibiki. Hell, not even the girl she had a crush on. It was just...Miku. She looked so impossibly sad and guilty that Chris wanted to wrap her in her arms and tell her about just how better they could all make the world. About how better things could be, and that she couldn’t give up yet.

She told her so much about her nightmare, when truthfully all she wanted was to tell her about her _dream_.

“No matter what happens.” Chris spoke, stroking her shoulder. “We don’t give up on each other, alright?” She said smiling at Miku.

“Chris…” Miku returned the smile. “You’re starting to sound like Hibiki now.”

“There’s worse people to sound like.” Chris grinned to herself. “But don’t you dare tell her I said that.”

“I can’t make that kind of promise.” Miku said with a sad smile.

“Nobody’s perfect I guess,” Chris laughed, for what felt like the first time all night. “I don’t know what is going to happen next. If I just dreamed what I did because you told me about it, or if it really is you, or Shem-Ha, or Finé back from the dead.” She reached her hand out and ruffled her hair. “But I know that we’ll both be here by the end of it. And so will those losers.”

Miku looked away. “You sound so sure.” She looked to the wheelchair she had been sitting in when Chris bore her soul to her. “Maybe you’re right.” She took Chris’s pinky in hers. “Let’s make it official.” Her voice had a new strength in it now, one full of determination.

“Pinky promise.” Chris said with confidence. “No matter what, we don’t give up on each other, or the others.”

“And we will all be here by the end of it.” Miku reaffirmed.

Their pinkies locked together, they made their pact.

“We will find out what’s happening.” Chris promised her. “We will.”

“I know.” Miku said. Would she have said those words even an hour ago? God how long had they been talking? 

“What a week it’s been.” Chris laughed to herself. “I spent most of it in a coma and I still feel exhausted.”

Miku giggled, a lovely sound. “I think it’s time you get some sleep.”

“What if they ask why we were yelling at each other?” Chris wondered.

“Don’t worry about it.” She winked. “I’m good at keeping secrets Chris.”

Those words gave her pause, and she let her arm drop from around her shoulders. “Okay. Just none from me alright? Or the dummy either for that matter.”

Miku looked ready to protest, before her features softened, and she nodded. “I think that’s a good idea.”

“I think I’m gonna pass out now.” Chris said, the full weight of everything coming down on her body at once.

It was then that Miku had a peculiar idea.

“Chris?” Miku said in a tone that confounded her. “May I give you another gift?”

“Did you seriously get me something else?” Chris asked in disbelief.

“Only if you want it.”

Chris narrowed her eyes in confusion at the phrasing of that. “What do you mean?”

“I want to give you a kiss.”

_SHIT._

Chris leaped back to the center of the bed in an instant, face burning crimson. “ _You what?”_

Miku smiled earnestly, sitting on her knees respectfully. “I want to give you a kiss.” She repeated gently, not going an inch closer to her dear friend.

_FUCK._

Chris was as red as Mars. “B-b-but w-why?” She stammered out, heart beating as fast as her guns could fire.

That is until that wonderful Miku smile made her feel like her heart would stop right then and there. “I might not feel the same as you do Chris, but I do love you.” She still made no move to get closer. “And someone as wonderful as you deserves to be kissed by someone who loves you.” She said simply, as if explaining a math problem.

“I, yeah well!” Chris felt like she was gonna turn into a supernova with how much heat her face must be giving off. What the fuck was this? If Miku turned into the fucking Jabberwocky she’d have an easier time digesting it. 

“I mean like, I don’t _not_ want to, but what about Hibiki?” She asked desperately, trying to find some way to rationalize not accepting the thing she wanted so bad to accept.

“I’ll tell her.” Miku promised. “And I will tell her what we talked about. No more secrets right?” She gave her a wink that made her want to explode. 

“But!” Chris felt completely overwhelmed. 

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to say yes just because you have a crush on me Chris.” Miku assured her gently. “It’s okay to say no.”

“I didn’t say no…” Chris said in a low voice.

Miku smiled. “May I get closer?”

Chris nodded, and Miku slowly scooted across the bed, till their knees were touching. It was strange. They had just laid together, close enough to kiss just a few minutes before, but now Miku felt so much closer than she had ever been.

“Are you sure Chris?” Miku asked gently. 

_Oh god yes._

Chris nodded shy.

Miku held up her hands gently. “May I touch your face?” She asked, keeping her hands clearly in view.

“Yeah…”

All of a sudden it was happening.

“May I kiss you?”

“Yes. Please. Please yes.”

The words came out of her mouth like a river, until Miku took her face in her hands, leaning in, and pressed her lips to Chris’s gently. Chris’s lips parted just ever so slightly, and Miku’s filled the gap in a way that made her shake like never before. A low whimper betrayed her when Miku pulled away, smiling softly at her still.

“Wow.” Chris breathed out. Somewhere in the kiss, she had clutched onto Miku’s shoulder desperately, and despite the embarrassment, she loved the feeling of the cloth beneath her fingers. “Holy shit.”

Miku just smiled, “Good?”

“Yeah.” Chris said, her lips burning with electricity. Cautiously she brought her fingers up to her lips, giggling at how sensitive they were. “Dummy has all the luck.”

“You’re not a bad kisser yourself.” Miku said coyly. “Maybe next year Hibiki can be the one to kiss you.”

“Yeah…” Chris said absently, still touching her lips. Realizing what she just agreed to, she shifted her focus to the grinning Miku, before they both burst out into laughter. 

“Happy Birthday Chris.” Miku said, standing up from the bed. “Get some sleep.”

“Yeah.” Chris smiled genuinely at her. “Tell them not to trash my apartment would you? I don’t trust senpai alone out there.”

“I’ll do my best.” Miku said hand on the doorknob.

The two girls looked at each other from other ends of the room. The pinky promise between them as iron clad as any contract, they could not help but smile at each other.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Chris watched the door close behind her with fondness. She knew she and Miku would never truly be together, and she felt that was probably for the best. She knew she needed to find somebody she loved not because they showed her affection when no one else would, but because they made her happy in a way that words could not describe.

But with the kiss still lingering on her lips, she went to sleep that night with one thing she knew for certain.

It wasn’t Miku.

~!~

The sound of the rotary phone ringing woke her up.

“Be careful where you tread. The ice is thin.”

_What?_

Jeanne opened her eye weakly to stare up at the dark ceiling of her apartment. A bright blue light was enveloping the room entirely. Had she left the TV on by mistake? 

Turning her head towards the blue light, she saw an illuminated figure hang up the rotary phone. They were completely engulfed, giving the figure a radiance of divine power. 

But it was out the window that drew Jeanne’s eye.

Long had she stared out that window, wishing upon a falling star night after night for a better life, for an actual future, or just maybe to see her sister one last time.

But there were no shooting stars in this night sky.

The sky was full of dark purple clouds beneath a red sky, a golden tower pointing straight to the heavens, the only thing visible in the distance. Even from her bed, she could feel the heat of the raging inferno outside that was consuming all of Tokyo.

_What the fuck happened?_

“Happy little bitches!” The figure shouted angrily, clearing the oak desk that had definitely not been in Jeanne’s apartment before. The computer and rotary phone crashed onto the ground in terrifying silence, the figure seething in hatred. “Everyone’s just so fucking supportive of each other.” The figure laughed, as if deeply amused by something.

“If this was easy, it wouldn’t be nearly as fun.” The figure, now completely obscured by darkness turned towards her. “Good morning my sunshine. Didn’t your mother ever teach you it’s rude to eavesdrop?”

“I didn’t mean to!” Jeanne insisted. She didn’t know who this person was, or what they were doing here but-

It was then that she noticed the roots.

Like something out of a horrible nightmare, endless plant-like tendrils were growing out of the scars on her left arm. They were like roots, but covered in thorns, pulling around the side of her bed like a terrifying weed.

“Oh my god!” She got up to try and get away from it, screaming when the roots moved with her. “ _WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?”_

“Quit your screaming. It’s just a little experiment.”

The roots seemed to impossibly dig into the ground of her apartment, dragging her back to the bed like she was on a leash. The roots were so deeply nestled into her body she felt like she could barely move. What scared her the most was not that which she could see, but that which she could not. She could feel the roots under her skin, wrapping around her bones, and going into her muscles and into her veins.

What kind of fucking experiment was this?

That’s when it hit her.

Her luck had to run out eventually.

You never escaped the White Orphanage.

“Dr. Vercingetorix?”

Her words were a whisper in a room that she had spent months making nightly regrets in. The figure straightened up, and even though they had their back to her, she could hear the smirk on their lips.

“You insult me.”

There was no denying it. It was a _female_ voice, but there was also recognition. This woman knew who Dr. Vercingetorix was. Which meant she was from the White Orphanage. Which meant she was fucking fucked.

“...Professor Nastassja?”

“Please.”

There was a threatening displeasure on her lips. Beneath the flesh on Jeanne’s arm, a tendril moved up and into her shoulder blade. She could feel it wiggling around inside her like a sickening parasite.

“Dr. Sakurai?”

The chuckle that echoed in the room made her want to vomit in anxiety. It was dark, hollow laughter. It came from a place where there was no joy.

“Warmer.”

She thought back. To all the horrible motherfuckers at the White Orphanage. To all the demons that took her apart and put her back together again for the sake of experimentation. For the sake of compatibility. For the sake of Finé…

And that’s when she remembered that concert she saw a few years ago.

“Maria?”

The figure took a step onto the bed in response. Jeanne’s one eye widening as she looked at the nude woman before her. A painful memory of all her fears.

“I need your help Jeanne.”

Every vein in her body felt like they were being ripped out of her. There was a garden of weeds beneath her skin, roots now where her veins should be.

“Please.” Jeanne begged. ”Kill me. Just fucking kill me. Please.” She turned her head away, sobbing out. “Don’t take me back.”

She felt the woman move next to her, whispering in her ear. “Don’t be like that now.” She bit her earlobe. “I just need you to pass on a little message for me.” 

She waited. Waited for the pain. Waited for death. Waited for the end of all of her suffering.

And it never came.

Just a humorous little giggle.

She opened her eye, looking into the woman’s golden eyes with more despair than she could ever imagine.

“Think you can do that for me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Chapter 8 and 9 here were supposed to be one big chapter. However my editors correctly pointed out that that would be fucking absurdly long. Bless their souls.


	10. Stop it Kiri-chan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Gang. This is my customary apologizing for how long this took, and warning of content. Basically, it's been hot as hell here and it has SAPPED my creativity, but to make up for it you get an extra large sized chapter! I promise chapters w ill be a bit more reasonably sized going forward, but i wanted to make up for how long this took to get out.
> 
> SPEAKING OF
> 
> Heads up for pretty heavy discussions of suicidal idealization, poor coping of child abuse, self injury, and what I think can be called fairly typical levels of dark content for this fic. I hope you all enjoy it and please leave any and all feedback <3
> 
> Maria out~

_Thursday_

_January 11th_

_2046_

Stretching her arms to the ceiling as she walked, Tsubasa entered the command center of SONG HQ. “Good afternoon.” She greeted the bridge crew.

“Good afternoon!” Fujitaka greeted with a smile.

“Good afternoon Tsubasa-san!” Tomosato greeted, sipping some coffee. “How are you today?”

The familiar beeping and tapping of keyboards both were nostalgic, but comforting. She’d long been used to the claustrophobic nature of their mobile command center, but coming back to the old one was still something to get used to. She was not sure why she preferred being underground to underwater.

“I’m well.” She said automatically, stretching her arms behind her back before releasing her hands. “Maria is watching Yukine while I attend to some affairs.”

Fujitaka brought up on the main screen in the room the blinking dots of _Ichaival_ and _Airgetlám_ being prominently displayed on screen. They were in Sector 35, which Tsubasa knew to be the college Chris attended in the northern part of Tokyo. “Everything is going well with them. No oddities recorded.”

“Good.” Tsubasa said pensively. It had been two weeks since Chris’s birthday party, which despite her reservations had gone very smoothly. In a wonderful change of pace, very smoothly had become the new normal for them. 

Shirabe had gotten herself on a new diet that included iron supplements so as to help her with her deficiencies, while Chris had all but fully recovered from her attack. In spite of this however, they had kept themselves on guard. Not only was everyone's security upgraded, but Tsubasa and Maria both had moved into Chris’s apartment as a temporary measure. An inconvenience for Chris, but one that was something Tsubasa was not willing to budge on.

The arrangement was proving to be one that was certainly never boring.

_“If you two fuck in front of my parents I’ll kill you in your sleep.” Chris barked, slamming her bedroom door in their faces._

_“YUKINE!” Tsubasa’s face was bright red._

_Maria meanwhile could barely stand, laughing so loudly that Tsubasa got a text message from Ogawa asking if they were being attacked._

_In that moment she wished they were_.

Smiling at the memory, she blinked as she took a second glance at the map. “Tachibana is still here?” She saw the blip of _Gungnir_ blinking in Sector 0, alongside her own, and _Shénshòujìng._ She knew Elfnein was still working on configuring Miku’s relic into being that of a Symphogear instead of a Faust Robe.

“I think she’s training.” Fujitaka answered, looking at the screen with confusion. “Though that’s not the training room that’s…”

“I know where it is.” Tsubasa said. “I’m going to train with her. Ogawa is taking Tsukuyomi to Saitama. They should be back before nightfall.”

“Investigating the ley lines?” Tomosato inquired.

Tsubasa shook her head in response, “A personal matter. Tsukuyomi’s security detail has stayed with Akatsuki while she is with Ogawa.” Her eyes naturally travelled to the security screen, seeing _Igalima_ in Sector 27, a district known for its floral shops. “Fujitaka, did Ogawa drop off the findings I requested?”

“The Kazanari Foundation’s casefile is in your bunker Tsubasa-san.” Fujitaka said helpfully.

She had put thought into moving the entire team into SONG HQ following the incident with Shirabe. Their individual bunkers within the base would provide the most security possible, but even Tsubasa had to admit that it was a bit overkill.

“Thank you. Please inform Uncle that I will be heading home early today.” She requested as she turned to leave.

“Sure thing Tsubasa-san.” Tomosato said as the girl walked out of the door.

Tsubasa had once declared that this was no place for smiles, and she had to mentally chastise her younger self. It had been a long time since she was quite that foolish or alone. Yet just last year she had nearly been pulled her into that darkness.

And now it was her duty to investigate that very same darkness.

She was not looking forward to Ogawa’s findings.

The elevator ride up was just as fast as it had always been, and her destination was similarly right where it was before. What was once the hospital of Section 2 was now that of a residential building for SONG staff; she was still intimately familiar with the former hospital she had been isolated at following her regrettable use of her Climax Song.

If her suspicions were correct, she knew exactly where to find Hibiki at.

“Tsubasa-san!” Hibiki called out cheerfully. They were dressed in similar workout uniforms, although Hibiki had neglected the winter version, preferring the freedom her normal one provided.

“Mind if I join you?”

Hibiki positively beamed. “Sure!”

January was proving to be just as snowy as December, but the sun was shining on both of them today. The two girls followed each other's lead as they went through their _Tai Chi_ , the city stretched out before them like a royal carpet. It was funny to think about now, how once upon a time they were the only ones who could defend against supernatural disasters. It was only a few years ago, and yet for both of them, it felt like a lifetime.

Hibiki, who had fled the place she called home. Desperate for a start where no one knew her as the girl who survived the _Zwei Wing_ massacre. 

Tsubasa, who had shut her heart away to protect it from the pain of losing Kanade. Desperate to find a way to fly with one wing.

Perhaps it was fate for them to find each other as they did, or perhaps they really were just that lucky. 

The two lucky girls finished their exercise, both releasing their final breaths as they limbered themselves up. To Tsubasa’s surprise however, the normal infinite supply of energy that was Hibiki seemed remarkably quiet and pensive.

“It’s been a while since we have been up here huh?” She said with an air of nostalgia, walking to the fence on the roof and gazing over the city. The building had been damaged with the raising of _Kadingir_ , and though much of it had been repaired, the fence was far from as secure as it had once been. Not that that would stop Hibiki from scaling it, standing precariously on the ledge as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

“Perhaps we can make this a habit then.” Tsubasa remarked. She followed Hibiki over the side of the fence, till they were both sitting on the ledge of the building. A precarious drop for people who were not them. They watched the distant cars go by and by.

“I never got to say thank you Tsubasa.” Hibiki said after a long pause.

“Tachibana. You never have to thank me for something like that.” Tsubasa said in a gentle but firm voice. She noted her friends dropping off the honorific, feeling both honored and humbled. 

It was not hard to guess that she was referring to the _Highton View Terrace_ incident. A traumatizing affair, and one that Tsubasa admonished herself for not handling better. She had fallen into bad habits, trying to become the hardened uncompromising blade of the Kazanari family to protect those who could not protect themselves. In doing so she had made Chris feel isolated under her protection, a dangerous mistake, and one she would never make again.

Especially not after last year.

“SUEBAHSUH…” Hibiki said in Engrish that was was so horrible she could not stop the grin that hit her face. “Come on.” Those eyes made of sunlight smiled at her, making a formal request. “Hibiki please?” 

Tsubasa looked at her, the grin breaking into a full on smile now. “As you wish Hibiki.” She said, both girls pulling their legs over the edge and sitting back to back to each other. “What I said before still stands.” Despite having their backs to each other, their hands found each other to hold over the edge of the building.

“I wasn’t talking about what happened with Chris-chan.” She heard Hibiki say as the shorter girl leaned her head back, using her shoulder as a headrest.

Tsubasa didn’t respond verbally, squeezing her hand to let her know she was listening.

“After I saw you and Kanade.” The mention of her name made Tsubasa’s heart skip a beat in surprise. “It was a bad time.” Her words drifted off, like snow on the wind.

She squeezed her hand again.

“It was bad. I...” She heard her laugh, but there was no humor in it. “I didn’t want to die, but…” The words that came out of her mouth broke Tsubasa’s heart with every syllable. “There were some days… some weeks… some months where if I just, you know, didn’t wake up? Then that wouldn’t be so bad.” She was gripping her hand incredibly tight now.

Tsubasa kept silent. Every cell in her body was crying out to interrupt her, to cut the demons in her mind down with her songs, to protect her. To place her within the eye of the storm that was Kazanari Tsubasa. To protect the pretty part with the scary part. To protect the girl who should have never been hurt.

But she could see this was leading somewhere. She would not break her oldest friend from that path.

“But I remembered Kanade.” 

And there, like a phoenix were the wings of hope that could only belong to the memory of the first girl she ever loved.

“I couldn’t let her down.” Hibiki said, the strength of having lived through great pain in her words. “It was hard. I had to lie to myself like my dad would, that everything was okay. That it was just fine.” The words that she had heard her say often, almost always to herself, under ragged breathe in the heat of battle.

“Miku was there. She always helped, as much as she could at least.” She giggled, a schoolgirl giggle that gave Tsubasa room for pause. “She was sleeping over one time, and she was in the bathroom. She left her music player out and one of your new CD’s was on it.” There was a lovingly nostalgic aireyness to her voice as she spoke about it. “She had kept it hidden from me, because she thought I hated you but…”

Hibiki turned, letting her legs dangle off the side of the building again. “Thank you Tsubasa.” They were looking at each other now, and all she wanted to do was go back in time. Go back in time and hold Kanade and tell her everything she did for the girl who took up _Gungnir_ after her. To tell her that the girl she saved had never given up on life, and that her first love’s swan song had helped save the world.

“I wish we knew each other then.” Tsubasa said, letting her legs dangle again. “After Kanade died, I was a void.” She had crumbled in that hour. To say that she was inconsolable would be a drastic understatement. The months after Kanade’s death were gone from her memory. A black hole of time, that she only ever heard her uncle refer to rarely.

She knew why.

In the face of the Noise, she was the only person on the planet who could fight them. The only person on earth who could hold back the torrential flood of eldritch creatures that threatened to put humanity out to pasture. She could not speak, let alone sing. The shame of leaving the world with the unyielding terror of having nothing to protect themselves against the Noise was still something that haunted her in her darker moments.

Hibiki, sensing the nature of Tsubasa’s thoughts, rested her head on the singer’s shoulder. “I’m glad I can call you Tsubasa.” She said with a level of honesty that made Tsubasa feel like her heart was made of sunlight.

“I too am glad I can call you Hibiki.” She gave her mousey hair a light ruffeling, unable to hide her smile. “It was by holding your hand in my own that I was able to stand in the heart of darkness and emerge with wings still able to fly.” 

Hibiki responded by sticking her tongue out. “I was just doing what your songs did for me when I was hurting. I never felt alone then, not just because Miku, but because of you. Your songs were like a nightlight.” She reached her hand up to the sky, clutching at something invisible. “I’d listen to your songs and reach out, and it was like you were holding-”

Tsubasa reached up and retook her hand in her own.

“No matter what darkness we face, no matter where our paths stray Tachibana Hibiki.” Tsubasa said, looking her in the eye. “Please reach your hand out to mine, like you did all those years ago. You will always find mine waiting.”

Hibiki’s smile had the same kind of courage that stared into the eyes of a God and refused to blink. “With blooming courage; we will never let go of those we love again.”

The two girl’s free hand’s met in a single darkness defying high five. The kind that made demons run, lest they be caught in the melody of the protector’s song.

They both stood on the edge of the building, gazing over the city wistfully. A passing stranger would be terrified at the sight of two ordinary girls on the edge of a building, precariously balanced walking along it’s ledge as if walking down the sidewalk.

But these were no ordinary girls.

“Hey Tsubasa!” Hibiki said suddenly, taking a small leap to the corner of the roof and twirling in place. “If you could tell your younger self in the past anything, what would you say?” The spontaneous question made the girl blink in contemplation. 

“I would ask her to reward kindness with kindness. That the steel walls around her heart are not there to keep people out, but to keep people in.” She smiled a bit, thinking of how much she saw herself in Shirabe. “That’s what I would do. I would ask her to be kind. What would you tell your younger self?”

“Stop saying you’re gonna replace Kanade’ for one.” Hibiki said with a frankness that pulled a rare snort from the swordswoman. “I’d also tell her to maybe ask to borrow some of Yumi’s manga because then I’d probably have figured out a lot of things a lot faster."

Tsubasa burst out laughing, the impossibly contagious rise of giggles in her throat threatening to knock her off the side of the building. The tiny squeaks of joy emanating from her drew Hibiki’s confused but pleased eye like nothing else. Through her giggle fit it was hard for the woman to get an accurate read on what the _Gungnir_ wielder was thinking.

“You have a funny laugh Tsubasa.” She said at least, having fully taken in the very rare sight.

Tsubasa could only wipe a tear from her eye. “When we first met, I believe I told you that this was no place for smiles. I cannot possibly be more pleased by how wrong I was in that.” Taking a breath to herself, she wondered if she had gotten a six pack from laughing so hard.

“Always so dramatic!” Hibiki said, crossing her arms with a playful grin. “We need to have designated silly hours for Tsubasa!”

“Huh?” 

Hibiki’s eyes took a dark turn. “Are you ticklish Tsubasa?”

Time stood still as the two wielders stared each other down with uncertain tension between them. 

Tsubasa leapt over Hibiki’s tackle hug, scaling the fence in an instant to put as much distance between them as possible. But the _Gungnir_ wielder was on her tail in a second, scaling to the top of the fence, and poised to strike like a tiger.

Thinking quickly, Tsubasa found her fingers wrapping around a piece of pipe and standing her ground as the protector of Japan she was. “Don’t force my hand Hibiki.”

“I thought you wanted to hold hands, Tsubasa!” Hibiki said, leaping off like a flying squirrel.

Placing her hands at the bottom and top of the pole defensively, Tsubasa guarded against her pounce. Just as planned; the _Gungnir_ girl clasped her hands around the pole, allowing Tsubasa to sweep her legs out from under her and pin her to the roof with the pipe just under her chin.

“Yield!” Tsubasa ordered, only to be met with a defiant grin.

“Ha!” Hibiki brought her hips off the ground and wrapped her legs around Tsubasa’s middle section. The sword woman's gasp of shock was her own undoing. Hibiki used her thighs to lift herself off the ground and attack Tsubasa’s middle selection with a tickle attack far more devastating than anything the god-killing fist could ever hope to measure up to.

“Ooooooh! Hibiki!” Tsubasa’s voice went from a growl to an absolute squeal. Dropping the pole with a loud clang, she brought her arms up and over, trapping Hibiki’s arms against her sides at the wrist. With her feet once again steadily under her, Tsubasa dead lifted the girl off the ground in a modified cradle. 

Not one to lose her footing, Hibiki unwrapped her thighs from her waist and pushed against Tsubasa. The two girl’s were equal athletically, but in a contest of raw strength, Tsubasa was outmatched. Her back met the wall, allowing Hibiki's tormenting fingers of tickle hell to catch her ribs again. She attempted to get her into a wristlock, but Hibiki swung herself around like a spider monkey so that now she was on Tsubasa’s back, legs wrapped tight around her waist as the assault continued. 

Tsubasa could stand many things, but this new fresh torment was not one of them, and her legs buckled under the stress of Hibiki’s weight and her own laughter. “Say uncle!” Hibiki said demandingly, her senpai turning red in the face from laughter.

“Nrgh!” Tsubasa could not get enough oxygen to even protest. The bucking bronco inside of her would never allow her to give up to this contest of wills. Flopping onto her back like a turtle, she tried to break the hold on her, but this just played right into Hibiki’s hands. Keeping her legs locked tight, Hibiki used one arm to get her into an inverted headlock. With the venerable guardian now locked in place, she used her free hand to attack the bare flesh of Tsubasa’s tummy that had been exposed as her shirt rode up.

The bucking bronco charged, and thrashed and squirmed and tried all it could to free itself of its devilish rider, but in the end she had no choice. The unforgivable fingers on her stomach were like that which belonged to master piano players, only instead of playing the piano they were pushing the keys in on her own personal hell. 

Shame overwhelming her, she tapped out. Immediately the grip was released, and the two girl’s untangled from each other, both out of breath, staring up at the brilliantly blue sky. 

“You’re… getting… rusty… Tsubasa.” Hibiki panted out, her chest heaving up and down.

“A sword… does not rust… it only requires… more polish.”

“Tsubasa… you need to relax more.... ahaha.”

“I think this proves… I have been relaxing too much.”

Hibiki gave a lame kick, which she returned. The two threw wimpy kicks at each other as a plane flew overhead.

After several minutes of catching their breath, both sat up, feeling like they had run quite the marathon. “I would say that qualifies as the silly hour you deem so necessary.” Tsubasa said through ragged breath. 

Hibiki’s cheesy grin was a sight for the eyes. “Looks like you were right.” She said crossing her arms smugly.

“Oh?” She questioned. “What was I correct about?”

“When we first met!” She then dropped her voice down a pitch. “‘You and I shall fight!’ and we did! And I won!” Hibiki said with the cheekiest smile that the world had ever seen.

“I try not to think of how horribly I treated you then.” Tsubasa said with a more sober tone. “My treatment of you then was unacceptable.”

“Hey.” Hibiki said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I don’t hold it against you. I just wish I knew you needed help sooner.” That made Tsubasa smile a little. She was starting to wonder if Tachibana Hibiki was indeed capable of holding a grudge.

“I am glad. I was...still very angry over Kanade.” The words about her came easier than they ever had. Perhaps because if there was any one person in the world who could understand what she felt it was Hibiki.

None of them had gotten through this without having loss, be it family members, friends, or who they used to be. But it was Hibiki alone who truly felt the enormity of Kanade’s life, and how it had been thrust upon her so suddenly. 

“I had steeled myself. It was too unbearable to feel then. I wish I had been able to handle it differently, but I do not think I could have done so and still lived to tell the tale.” Her hands found Hibiki’s again, and solace with it. “Seeing you, with _Gungnir_ , felt like mockery of that pain. And once we discovered what it was doing to you, it…” She struggled for the words. “It felt like a cruel joke.”

“You’re telling me.” Hibiki said heavily, making her head turn to face the girl.

“Hibiki?”

“Kanade told me to never give up on life.” Subconsciously her hand drifted to her chest. “I knew there was still shrapnel in me and well.” She shrugged. “I was so miserable sometimes that I thought the only way my heart was still beating was because Kanade was next to it.” She said the words so quietly that Tsubasa knew it was the first time she ever spoke those words out loud.

“And then finding out that the thing that connected me and Kanade together was killing me. It...was like someone was making fun of me.” Tsubasa could see the girl’s lip was quivering. “I couldn’t stop. If I did then it’d mean her death would be for nothing. But if I didn’t stop it’d kill me.” She shook her head, looking at the floor. 

Tsubasa could feel herself shake at the words being spoken. Were these not the same thoughts she herself had thought of during that time? That horrible relic fusion that had twisted Finé into a horrible monster, that was slowly killing her oldest friend? And not only that, but the culprit being the last physical remnant of Kanade?

“I was cursed in more ways than one.” Hibiki’s words were small and insecure, and it took Tsubasa a long time to figure out what to say in response.

“Someone very dear to me said something very wise once, and I feel it bears saying now.” The older girl said, wrapping her arm over Hibiki’s shoulder.

“What’s that?”

“‘Even if that’s true.’” Tsubasa said with a brilliant smile.

A blush colored Hibiki’s cheeks as she looked away. “Sheesh I only said one wise thin-heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!” She squealed as Tsubasa ruffled the girl’s shaggy hair playfully.

“You are wise beyond your years Tachibana Hibiki. I’m sorry to have brought up such a sore subject.” She said keeping a tight reassuring grip on the girl’s shoulder.

“No, no, it’s okay.” Hibiki assured her. “It’s nice talking to you about it.” She wasn’t looking at her, but she wasn’t avoiding eye contact either. But there was something about the way she said that threw her off.

“Is this something you are unable to confide in Kohinata about?” Tsubasa asked her, before realization hit her. “I see.”

Yes it would be very awkward to bring that up.

Hibiki smiled bashfully. “Miku’s the best, but she already has her plate filled helping Chris out with her stuff.” Tsubasa noticed two things at that moment; the dropping of -chan that she normally holds for her kohai, and how easily she shifted the topic of conversation.

Tsubasa considered her response. She knew Hibiki to be quite the hard headed individual when she did not want to address something, but she could also see that there was something she very much wanted to bring up, and was going the long way around to do so.

“Are you worried that Kohinata is taking on more than she can handle?” Tsubasa asked carefully.

Hibiki’s eyes stayed staring out in front of her, drifting back and forth as if in REM sleep. “I’m worried that she’s not being honest with how much it affects her.”

Tsubasa thought long and hard about how much trouble Miku’s lack of honesty regarding her feelings had gotten them in over the years. “Could you elaborate?”

“Chris’s life sucks.” Hibiki said bluntly.

Tsubasa blinked at that, before formulating a response. “Yukine’s past circumstances have been gravely unfortunate. For Kohinata to offer her console is no easy task for certain.” She stopped herself, noticing Hibiki wasn’t listening. 

“And Miku’s not the best at talking about her problems with me either.” Tsubasa took notice of the deliberate usage of _with me_. She was beginning to piece it together.

“Is she still having night terrors?”

“Yeah.”

“How often? Every night?”

Hibiki’s eyes did not blink. “Every night.”

“Hibiki…” She started, but stopped when Hibiki began.

“It was bad before, but once December hit, it happened more and more. Then after Chris got attacked it’s just been…” Hibiki groaned, putting her face in her hands. “I’m so tired, Tsubasa. I just want to shake her and make her tell me what’s wrong, but I can’t because I know what’s wrong and I can’t make it any better.” 

In a flash, the Hibiki she had been talking to was gone, and in its place was what lay beneath the facade and the smile. The infinite exuberance was replaced by exhaustion and eyes that looked like they had not seen a full night of sleep in years.

“I haven’t gotten a full night of sleep in a month. Sometimes when I wake up she’s crying, sometimes she’s screaming, sometimes I don’t even wake up. I just stay up all night waiting for her nightmare.” She groaned, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her forehead against it. 

Tsubasa bit her tongue, resisting the urge to badger the girl with questions. Instead she rubbed up and down her back gently, which seemed to help alleviate the great amount of tension held there. “Maria and I are doing what we can to help Yukine. It won’t only be Kohinata that she has to confide too anymore.” She said reassuringly. 

Hibiki’s eyes tightened in focus, as if thinking about something greatly troubling. Tsubasa wondered just how much of this girl’s everyday life was that of a facade, a mask put on to please the most number of people while disrupting them to the bare minimum. The girl had always been a people pleaser, at the cost of her own happiness as well. Once upon a time, her altruism was akin to suicidal, even when she was fully aware of this.

“Hibiki.” She said with stern gentleness. “Tell me what you are thinking.”

Those brilliant passionate eyes seemed to twitch, coming back into focus for the first time. She could see it, the attempted inner retreat, the reapplication of the mask, the commitment to her role as peacemaker. But they stopped, as if catching oneself mid fall. 

The mask remained off.

“Chris and Miku had a talk on her birthday.”

Tsubasa nodded following along. She was quite aware that Miku and Chris had much more than a talk. Even with the five of them making noise, it was impossible not to hear the fight that had gone on in the bedroom. It was only because of Maria that they decided not to go in and try and intervene, a decision that seemed to have been the correct one.

“They talked about a lot of stuff. Miku even said that it was a conversation that they really needed to have.” She muttered. “They even kissed, just so Chris could have a happy kiss for once in her life.”

Tsubasa had reasonably assumed that some kind of emotional conversation had taken place between the two longtime friends. What she did not expect was that Miku and her kohai had kissed, and found herself with a slight irritation at having learned that fact.

But that was not why she was here now, and she asked the most obvious question. “Do you feel that Kohinata was unfaithful to you?” She kept her tone as neutral as possible.

“Huh?” That question seemed to break the girl out of her funk, blinking in confusion at the inquiry. “Oh no, that’s not it. Miku didn’t cheat on me.” She pursed her lips, carefully choosing her words. “It’s more of...what Miku is for Chris...I’m not. If that makes sense.” She scratched the back of her head, uncertain of her own feelings.

“What do you mean?” Tsubasa probed. This was not what she was expecting in the slightest, but she was feeling more and more that she was getting to the bottom of this.

Hibiki’s brow furrowed in concentration, thinking hard about what to say. “Chris talks to Miku about her problems. About _Val Verde_ , about her parents, about Sonya, and Stefan, about college.” She sighed, staring at her knuckles. “She even started talking to her about Finé.”

“That is a lot for Kohinata to take on by herself.” Tsubasa was starting to worry they were going in circles, but did not interrupt further.

“That’s the thing though!” Hibiki exclaimed, looking at her directly. “I’m her friend too! I want to help her too!” Her voice hitched, and for a moment she was worried the girl might begin to cry. “She’s one of my best friends, and I feel like because I believed in what Finé told me that she can’t trust me with anything!”

_Oh._

Finé. The ever present demon. Attached to them like a cancerous shadow, not even allowing them to be depressed in peaceful misery. It was simply not enough for that foul woman to pervert the memories she had of Kanade, but now also she cast doubt onto the certainties of the friendship between her two oldest comrades? 

Tsubasa did not believe in hell. But she hoped Finé was there.

“May I ask you something Hibiki?” Tsubasa requested. “And I would appreciate your honesty.”

Hibiki looked thoughtful, as if she might refuse. “Okay.” She stood up, walking over to the fence and placing her hand on the grate.

“Do you remember my cruelty?” Tsubasa asked coolly, standing up behind her.

“Eeh?” Hibiki’s head snapped back in genuine confusion. “When were you cruel to me? Like when we first met?” She seemed ready to barrage Tsubasa with endless words of assurance that she held no grudge, but she interrupted her.

“No.” Tsubasa stated, walking close to her and placing her index finger at the center of Hibiki’s chest, making the girl’s face burn red. “I mean this cruelty. When you needed me most, I isolated you from my heart.”

“Tsubasa…” Hibiki said, looking crestfallen.

“I was terrified of losing you. Terrified of losing you to the last thing I had to remember Kanade by.” Tsubasa’s honesty was raw and unguarded, but she knew it was the exact kind that Hibiki needed to hear right now. “I thought if I could make your contributions seem meaningless, I could curb your altruism. I thought my cruelty was that of a life saving kindness. I was wrong.”

“But you weren't though!” Hibiki insisted, gasping when Tsubasa took her hand.

“I was. Because the path of a protector is not one paved with cruelty masquerading as kindness. I was protecting my own heart, not you.” She closed her eyes, unwilling to let her emotions overwhelm her as she recalled her greatest shame. “It was Yukine who saw through my buffoonery. Yukine who saw to it that you were not alone.”  
  
Hibiki didn’t meet her eyes at that, looking insecure.

“When Kohinata was taken, Yukine went to fight her without a second thought. Despite how important they were to each other, she went to do what I had been failing to do. Protect.” She could tell her words shocked Hibiki, who looked at her as if she didn’t quite comprehend.

“What do you mean?”

“Your love for Kohinata may have been blind to you Hibiki, but the same cannot be said for all of us.” Tsubasa said good naturedly. “It was the biggest reason for uncle’s hesitation in letting you join us for the mission. He knew you would not be able to stay on the sidelines while Kohinata was in trouble.”

“He was right…” Hibiki laughed awkwardly, before the lightbulb went off over her head. “Oh! But that means...Chris was…” She trailed off in dim realization.

“Trying to save Kohinata. So you would not have to.” Tsubasa finished for her. She decided to leave out the aspect of Chris shooting her in the back in order to infiltrate the FIS. Chris may have been trying her best, but she still was a bit of a mess at the time, not that she had any right to judge.

“Chris was trying to keep me from killing myself.” Hibiki said, staring at their intertwined hands.

“Have you ever noticed how uncomfortable physical contact makes Yukine?” Tsubasa asked in a kind whisper. “No matter whom it is with; me, Kohinata, uncle. It bothers her greatly, with everyone.” She gave her a playful wink. “But you.”

“Huh?” Their eyes met, and the mask was still off. Those vulnerable desperate eyes that were looking back at her were the real Tachibana Hibiki.

“When you and I first stood up here, you told me that what you wanted to protect most was your uneventful, typical everyday life, was it not?” Tsubasa challenged her with the same fierce voice she used all those years ago.

“Yes!” Hibiki said, nodding just as fiercely. Her hands clutched Tsubasa’s tight as it did when they faced their own inner darkness at the edge of the blade that could not be sheathed without drawing blood.

“That is what you are for Yukine.” Tsubasa said with absolute confidence. “Because despite all of her hardships, cruelties, and tragedies, you still offered your hand to her. You still offered her a hand to pull her out of the darkness that had been all she had ever known.” She placed her free hand on Hibiki’s shoulder, keeping their eyes locked.

“If Kohinata is the one who gives Yukine the strength to move past the hardships of her past, then it is you Tachibana Hibiki who gives her the normal life she never had.” She smiled, feeling proud of Hibiki in a way she never had before. “For Yukine; the uneventful, typical everyday life is you.”

Hibiki’s mouth formed a small “O” of surprise, before becoming a confident grin. “With blooming courage.”

Tsubasa’s grin was one of immense pride. “We will never let go of those we love again.”

Without words, the two embraced, a warmth like no other filling the two up. A shield against the harshness of the world. When they did finally separate, they were shining examples that this was just the right place for smiles.

“I need to get going. Miku is gonna be done with class soon.” Hibiki said, looking as the sun was beginning to get lower in the sky.

“We should train together more often.” Tsubasa said happily. “This was nice.”

“Do you think you could train with Miku too?” Hibiki asked quizzically. 

The question was a little surprising, but not unwanted. “Of course. I have been planning some training regimens for when she has her Gear.” She thought for a moment. “Are you no longer training together?”

“Master says I'm too distracting.” Hibiki said cheekily scratching the back of her head.

Tsubasa chuckled, but suspected that there may be more to the girl’s request, yet decided not to probe further. “I would quite like that. My time with Kohinata is far too sparse. It is something I would like to change.”

“You can start with calling her Miku, you know.” Hibiki said, packing up her gum belongings. 

“Ah yes.” Tsubasa said, blushing herself now a bit awkwardly. “We shall see.”

Hibiki, not missing a beat, took a step forward, giving her a gentle flick on the nose, startling the living shit out of her. “Boop!” She said with a happy grin.

“AH!” Tsubasa shouted, clutching at her nose in peril. Rubbing it gently, she called after Hibiki as she began to leave. “You never did give your own answer.”

She turned around at that, “Ho?”

“What you would tell your younger self.” She asked, and was shocked when the girl answered immediately in a pensive voice.

“Don’t forgive just because you want to be forgiven.” Though she was looking in her direction, Hibiki was not looking at her in any way shape or form. “See you around Tsubasa.” And just like that she was through the doorway and gone.

Tsubasa stayed up there, watching from the rooftop as Hibiki left the school grounds. She thought long and hard about what they had discussed in between the _Tai Chi_ and the tickle fight. 

Truly there was no one quite like Tachibana Hibiki.

“Watch over her Kanade, she won’t hide things from you.” Tsubasa spoke aloud, before she too left the nostalgic rooftop behind.

~!~

Shaking her head nervously, Chris sighed. 

_Let’s do it._

She hated the smell of cigarette smoke. “Lookit you!” Iwasawa said, leaning against the wall in her cooking uniform. “Back from the dead huh?” A lit cigarette was in her hand. The designated smoking lounge behind the college’s cafeteria was as good a place as any to find Iwasawa. 

Chris watched her carefully, the purple haired girls eyes weren’t hostile, they even looked concerned. But if she was saying stuff like that, then she couldn't imagine how Kioku was taking it. “Jury’s still out.”

“No shit.” Iwasawa polished off her cigarette, flipping it over her shoulder. “You good?” It wasn’t like her to ask such a pointed question. Iwasawa seemed to thrive in being cool and aloof, and yet here she was, asking if she was okay.

“Yeah…” Chris said in a voice with no commitment. “Sort of, I guess.” She leaned against the dumpster they poured the waste into. “Not really.”

Iwasawa smiled a kind smile at her, taking out another cigarette and offering it to her. She shook her head at the offer, but not wanting to waste a good cigarette, Iwasawa lit up for herself anyway. “Anything you need to get off your chest?” She said as she took in the smoke, blowing a ring of it out with a satisfied smile to herself.

“It’s been pretty crazy lately.” Chris said, feeling an unfamiliar awkwardness awaken in her. How the hell was she going to navigate this? “I didn’t mean to drop off the face of the planet I just…” She ran her head through her hair, laughing to herself. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

“You seem different.”

“I feel different.”

She watched the smokers eyes, that just seemed to drink her in with a curious concern. “She’s missed you you know.” Iwasawa said in a guarded tone, flicking the ash off the end of her cigarette. 

”Yeah.” Chris sighed uncomfortably. “Miku told me.”

“Oh!” Iwasawa said with a grin. “So you didn’t drop contact with everyone huh?” She said with a suggestive wink through the smoke.

“What?” Chris said confused, before shaking her head. “No, no. It’s not like that.” She sighed for what felt like the hundredth time, letting her butt rest on the cold ground. “Look, I just want to explain it to her.” She said, the frustration making her ears light up.

“You know where our dorm is. Go talk to her.” Iwasawa said, pitching her cigarette. 

“I don’t want to have to explain things twice.”

“Bullshit.”

Chris flinched at that, looking away from the girl and at the slush that congested one of the nearby drains on the pavement. “Hey…” There was regret in Iwasawa’s voice as she closed the distance between them, kneeling next to her. “What’s going on?” She put a hand on her shoulder, and Chris reflexively bit her lip.

“Don’t touch me please.” Chris breathed out.

To her credit, Iwasawa slowly removed her hand, still looking at the girl with great concern. “This isn’t like you, what’s going down?”

“If I had the fucking answer to that.” Chris remarked with a bitter laugh, drawing her knees up to herself. “I let her down. I know that.” She said, not accepting any kind of rebuttal. 

Iwasawa sighed, scratching the back of her head awkwardly. “Kioku was really looking forward to Christmas this year.” She couldn’t help but want to put a hand of comfort on Chris’s shoulder. “Most of all she was just worried she did something to you. Pissed you off, or made you hate her or something.”

“Goddamnit.” Chris let the back of her head rest against the dumpster. “Will you go up with me?” She begged with her eyes. She hated this. She hated this beyond every measure of doubt. Because not only was Kioku hurt, but she was hurt without it even being Chris’s fault. Just another random cruelty of the world, of Finé’s, and her bullshit becoming somebody else's bullshit.

Iwasawa sighed, taking off her chef's cap. “Let me throw out the trash.”

~!~

_“You’ll make friends in no time.”_

_The Old Man’s words didn’t exactly inspire a lot of confidence in her. Not that she would admit that and make him worry, but if there was one thing Chris excelled at, it was making a bad first impression._

_The Old Man’s words gave her pause as she picked out a can of soda from the cooler of the convenience store. It was one of the thousands that seemed to surround her college campus, and not that she had reason to complain, but it did make her wonder if they were part of a chain, or all competing with each other._

_She wasn’t sure which was worse._

_Between her grades and SONG influence she could have gone to any college in the world. But she refused to let them have any kind of influence on her getting in or out of colleges. She hardly believed in the mythology around higher education, that’s not what she wanted._

_No, what she wanted was… normal._

_It felt stupid to her, even now. There was so much terrible shit going on in the world, all the time. She dimly let herself hope that in the aftermath of the Yggdrasil incident, and humanity’s united rebellion against Shem-Ha, that world peace would finally happen. But life just did not work out that way. The future for humanity may be brighter than it ever was before, but that still did not stop the shadows of the past from looming over them all._

_There was still poverty. Still famine. Still greed. Still abuse. Still shit._

_All kinds of horrible shit that just made her want to rip her hair out and scream at the world to stop this insanity and for people to care about each other. She could shamefully remember how Finé would admonish her for being a bleeding heart, and how much it would cost her._

_If Chris was being honest with herself, she didn’t care if that was true. Especially now in the aftermath of Yggdrasil and Shem-Ha’s expulsion. It had been half a year since a threat of significance was found for them to fight. No magical girls with daddy issues, no mad scientists, or long forgotten gods._

_Even if the rest of the world didn’t find peace, she did._

_Or at the very least, she was trying to._

_Because she got what she wanted._

_Every day wasn’t the same. She’d wake up in her lovely apartment, laze around for a few hours, talk with her parents, maybe read a book or two. She’d get off the couch, grab the violin that Genjuro bought her as her graduation present and head off to school. Sometimes she’d take the train, sometimes the bus, sometimes she’d consider just walking and then say fuck that and wave down a plain clothes SONG agent to get them to drive her to class._

_She’d go to class, answer the questions when called upon, dodge her professor’s invasive questions about her parents, and maybe hang around the college to practice every now and again. Sometimes she’d just lay around in the middle of the campus green and take a nap, or volunteer at the library or cafeteria or a local soup kitchen._

_It was all… normal._

_And it made her feel guilty._

_Why should she get to reap the benefits of this?_

_Here she was: UN Agent, free from years of slavery and abuse, having her college and living expenses paid for with more money then she would ever even know how to spend. She got to meet great friends, who supported her, who loved her, who cared for her. And now she was getting back the years stolen from her. Getting back the life she should have been living in the first place._

_All the while, someone out there was living the same life she did. Only they didn’t have someone like the Old Man to come save them. Because even without the Curse, there were still far more Finés in the world than there were Old Man._

_And here she was, doing nothing to change that._

_She wanted to slam her first through the door of the cooler she was staring a hole through. There was nothing she hated more than feeling powerless. She knew she could make a difference, she knew she could change things, she knew she could do these things._

_But at the same time._

_Goddamn it was nice that the biggest worry she had was how she was going to get to college every day._

_“Can you get the fuck out of the way please?” An irritatingly familiar voice demanded from behind her. Narrowing her eyes over her shoulder, her suspicions were confirmed when she found herself staring down Itai Kioku._

_Not responding, Chris stepped aside to give the rude girl access to the cooler. Only when she opened the cooler did Chris kick the door shut with her heel, smirking to herself at how the blonde’s eyes stared daggers into her back._

_Quickly paying for her soda, Chris left the store and started to make her way back to the campus, feeling quite smug about herself. If there was one thing she was happy about, it’s that she was not the only one good at making a bad first impression. The first day at her university had been one that she was supposed to use to make friends; so appropriate was it that her first day she had made an enemy instead._

_Itai Kioku was in her musical theory class, and while the class itself was immensely enjoyable in it’s own right, Kioku was the giant asterisk next to that enjoyment. Chris could handle a lot of things, people being annoying, people being rude, people being insensitive, or careless, or even stubborn. What she could not handle were people who were deliberately stupid._

_That was Itai Kioku in a nutshell._

_They had all been asked to offer up whom they felt was the most innovative composer. Not a single person could get their word out without Kioku feeling the need to make some kind of shitty backhanded remark of said composer. It was one thing to disagree about a composer's quality, but this bitch could not keep herself from insisting that she knew better than anyone else._

_She could only stand so much before she spoke up._

_“OI! Were you born stupid or did you put work into it?” She barked across the classroom at the blonde girl with pigtails in her hair, whose eyes flared in anger in response._

_“The hell is your problem?” The girl said irritably, taking her feet down off her desk._

_“You're my problem. Keep your mouth shut when other people are trying to talk!” She said angrily. The class room became incredibly silent as the professor gulped silently at her desk._

_“You’re one to talk! I’m allowed to have an opinion you know!”_

_“Nobody gives a shit about the opinion you have on somebody else’s opinion!” Chris said scathingly._

_“You seem to have an opinion on my opinion of other people’s opinions!” Kioku’s green eyes flared dangerously in excitement at the argument._

_“Oh will you shut the fuck up?” Chris said rubbing her temples irritably. When all of a sudden inspiration struck. “Actually no, don’t shut the fuck up. Since you love to tell everyone your own opinion so much, let’s hear yours then. Who do you think is the most innovative composer huh?” She said confidently crossing her arms, all eyes on the war going on between the two._

_Kioku sat up a little straighter, as if slightly uncomfortable at being put under a microscope. “Well if you must know, I always felt that Yukine Masanori’s work is criminally underappreciated.” She said simply, crossing her arms as if awaiting judgement._

_There were a few murmurs of general agreement throughout the classroom, a few shrugs of general approval, in addition to casual disinterest in the spectacle. But more so than ever there was an overwhelming pregnant tension as several eyes, including the teacher’s looked over at Chris. The difference between the people who knew that Chris was the daughter of Masanori and those who didn’t were painfully obvious, and it was clear that Kioku was in the latter._

_“Heh.” Chris chuckled, genuinely stunned. “Hehehahahaha!” The dangerous rising storm of laughter was unstoppable. “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” She roared her head back in undignified laughter, one hand on her face, the other pointing at Kioku in absolute mockery._

_“Hypocrite!” Kioku shouted, now red in the face, when her neighbor leaned over and whispered Chris’s identity into her ear. All the color drained out of the blonde’s face immediately, looking ready to cry, she quickly sprinted from the room._

_Chris would have felt bad had she not been such a bitch in the first place._

_“Hey!” That annoying voice brought Chris out of her memory, looking back at her classmate who followed her from the store._

_“Hi.” Chris waved dismissily, turning her back on the blonde and continuing her walk._

_“OI! Don’t turn your back on me!” Kioku demanded, grabbing her shoulder and spinning the girl around. In a flash, Chris had the girl’s small wrist in a powerful grasp, staring daggers into her soul._

_“Don’t touch me.” She ordered, dropping her hand and walking away._

_“Look I’m sorry okay?” Kioku bemoaned._

_“I don’t care.” Chris said automatically. “You’re only sorry because you know who my parents are. Try being sorry for being a bitch to everyone else.” She continued to walk, a headache forming at the sound of the footsteps behind her._

_“I care okay?” Kioku said, rounding in front of her. A few people on the campus grounds were starting to stare, and it was making Chris’s face burn with embarrassment. “My foot’s always in my mouth, can we just start over?” The girl asked, her voice hitching at the last syllable._

_Chris sighed in great annoyance and took the girl in for the first real time. She was pretty enough, she had to admit that much, and if she liked her parents music she couldn’t be that bad. But there was something else to her, a desperate look in the way the girl’s eyes stared back at her, in the way her lip quivered in the fear of rejection._

_The girl was desperate for forgiveness._

_Chris could relate._

_“Goddamnit.”_

~!~

“Knock, knock.” Iwasawa said, walking ahead of Chris into her dorm room. “You’ll never guess who I ran into.” She followed after the guitarist, a box of chocolates that Yuki had gotten her for her birthday under her arm.

The dorm room was small enough to make Chris appreciate how spacious her apartment was. The room was messy enough for her to think that Tsubasa had spent some considerable time in here, and she wasn’t exactly sure where the actual bed’s for this dorm room actually were.

“If this is a lead in to a pun I’m gonna smack you.” The voice of Kioku said, her head still inside the fridge. She had on a grey hoodie and short shorts, and had definitely not noticed she was in the room.

“You might smack me anyway.” Iwasawa said, taking off her chef jacket and flopping down onto a bean bag chair. Kioku’s inquisitive head poked out of the fridge, eyes quickly finding Chris. All the color in her face instantly drained as she quickly realized what was happening.

“Hey.” Chris offered weakly.

“Yeah you’re right Iwasawa I _am_ gonna smack you.” Kioku said with an edge, the takeout she had pulled out of the fridge shaking in her hand. “‘Hey’ that’s all you have for me?” She slammed the take out on the counter. Quickly opening the fridge again and taking out a carton of milk, storming off into her bedroom as she chugged it down, the door slamming shut behind her.

“That went well.” Iwawasa said frankly.

“God fucking damnit.” Chris whimpered to herself in frustration. Here she was, master at fucking things up immensely. She wondered just how Miku managed to navigate these kinds of situations so well that she almost wished she brought her along. But that would be, well, that would likely just make the situation even worse.

Glancing at Iwasawa, she got a “you’ll get no help from me,” look, and all she could do was sigh. Walking through the mess of a sitting room she got to Kioku’s door and after a brief hesitation, knocked on it three times.

“Just leave.” Was the only sound that came from the other side of the door, sounding dejected. Any sense of fragile self confidence she had drained out of Chris like a balloon, and her footsteps backed away from the bedroom door of the mediocre flute player.

She really fucked this up.

She had only been friends with Kioku since the beginning of the school year, but despite their incredibly rocky start they had become fast friends. Few people were willing to take the “safety gloves off” approach to her that Kioku was, and she could go toe to toe with Chris on insults and banter. She had been a huge fan of the music made by her parents, and told her as such the fateful day after they first met. 

They had both been cagey with details regarding their respective pasts. Kioku accepted that Chris could not legally talk about _Val Verde_ due to the UN involvement, and Chris respected Kioku’s silence on the girl’s time in an abusive orphanage following the murder of her parents. They were “tragic little bitches” as Kioku called them, and Chris was happy that she had someone who could make light of her pain with her. 

But she could sense that same kind of unhealthy codependency forming between the two. Kioku was becoming more prone to dropping anything to help Chris. Be it preparing makeup for her last minute at the concert, to helping her at the soup kitchen, to coaching her on how to open up to Miku about the crush she had on her more. Even when it was painfully obvious that Kioku had a crush on the _Ichaival_ wielder herself.

It reminded her of Miku and Hibiki more than it didn’t. 

It also reminded her of herself and _Her._ Granted, at about ten billion times less intensity, but the distinct feeling of living for someone else was incredibly apparent. And now here she was, after having promised to make this Christmas the best one Kioku ever had, one she would never ever forget, she left her hanging without so much as an explanation.

_You were in a fucking coma idiot._

That thought made her stop in her own pathetic retreat. She _was_ in a coma damnit, but she wasn’t now, and she was not about to let this fucking shit end like this. She made a friend. She had made a fucking _friend_ , and she was not gonna let that fucking dusty old bitch take away her normal life more than she already had.

Clutching the box of chocolate tight, she turned on her heel and stormed down the hallway and through the door. “ _OI!”_ She yelled, startling Kioku off her desk chair and to her feet. “ _Kioku!”_

“What the fuck?” Kioku said, clutching at her heart in excitement.

“We gotta talk!” She shouted, glaring at her.

“Bu-” 

“Shut up and sit down!” Chris demanded, pointing at the chair the blonde just lept from. A stunned look on her face, Kioku did exactly that.

“Alright!” Chris crossed her arms, taking a moment to catch her breath. “Let’s talk.”

Kioku’s expression twisted in discomfort. “What about?” She looked away, at the floor, at the wall, at the ceiling. Doing all she could to look anywhere but directly at Chris.

“I fucked up.” Chris admitted shamefully. “I left you hanging on Christmas, and I should have reached out to you sooner about why but I promise you.” She made a point to look directly at her. “It wasn’t because of you.”

“Sure doesn’t fucking feel that way.” Kioku said bitterly, still not looking at her. “A text. A call. Something. Anything, more than _nothing._ ”

Even in the dim light of the girls’ room, Chris could see the tears teasing the edge of her friend's eyes. It was like the girl was looking somewhere else, somewhere far away at some painful memory that she had long buried. “Is it so much to ask for you to give me the same fucking courtesy as you do Miku?”

 _Now_ the blonde was looking at her, staring at her with eyes just as green as Miku’s. “And don’t give me any of that, ‘Oh I was sick’ crap. She’s a good liar, she’s not _that_ good.” There was betrayal in her eyes, and it just made Chris feel even more fucking guilty.

“Don’t be mad at Miku.” Chris interrupted. “She was just doing what she was supposed to do.” She hadn’t intended to snap but she was not about to let blame be put on anyone but her.

“Supposed to do? The hell does that mean?” Kioku barked, now looking genuinely pissed. “She was _supposed_ to lie to me?” She crossed her arms, looking just like Chris did.

“Yeah basically.” Chris said, losing the stare down voluntarily. “She did not really have a choice in the matter.”

Kioku didn’t say anything for a minute, but when she did, her voice was on guard, but curious. “What do you mean?”

“What do you know about me Kioku?” Chris asked, staring at the floor, the familiar slow march of goosebumps crawling up her legs and arms.

“Know about you…?” The girl’s voice trailed off, but Chris could hear the hidden knowledge on her lips.

“Come on, you worshipped the ground my parents fucking walked on, don’t pretend you don’t know more about me then I’ve told you.” Chris now looked at her directly and the blonde flinched under her gaze.

“I mean...I have the internet. Looking up stuff about how they died and like…” She looked at the floor, and for a moment Chris was glad that she wasn’t the only one who felt uncomfortable. “I know that like, you got rescued by the UN, and you were spirited away from a safehouse when they tried to bring you back here.” She looked uncertain as to whether or not to go on.

“Certainly not wrong, even if it’s not completely accurate.” Chris chuckled, before letting out a long sigh. “Whatever you think happened to me between my parents dying and the UN getting me, I assure you, it was worse than that.” She leaned back in the chair, clenching her hands behind her head. “You know how I told you how I have a crazy ex?”

“Yeah…” Kioku whispered.

“Well, said ex was the one who ‘spirited’ me away. Said ex happened to work for the government.” Chris’s eyes became very fixated on the ceiling. “Whatever you’re thinking happened to me during that time, I promise, it was also definitely much, much worse.”

The silence filled the room like water in a submarine. It was absolutely suffocating, and when Kioku finally broke it, Chris wanted to kiss her in thanks.

“Why are you telling me this Chris?”

“Because the bitch happened to like my music I guess.” Chris said in a rush, leaning forward and placing her arms on her elbows. “Ran into her after the concert and well. Shit happened.” An oversimplification of a situation that she was still not entirely certain about, but it would do. It was enough truth to keep her protected. It was enough truth to protect her from the worst person in the world, the woman that she was in love with still.

Finé.

That fucking bitch.

She could not let her get to Kioku.

She would not let her get to Kioku.

She was not going to get to Kioku.

“Fuck.” Kioku whispered, looking hurt. “What...happened?” She asked, looking at her with a troubled expression.

“Nothing great!” Chris laughed at her own misfortune. Her memory was still clouded, and she had no idea how to parce on what she experienced. How to tell what was a dream, and what was reality. She knew it wasn’t Finé, but that didn’t mean the imposter didn’t know how to really get the spirit of just how much of a nutcase Finé was. “It was just like old times.” She said in a voice that scared her.

“Chris…” Kioku started, pulling her from the dark thoughts.

“People took care of me. I was basically on lockdown till they knew I was safe.” Chris mumbled, wishing she had someone like Miku to do this for her, but knowing that would just make it worse. “Part of that meant, well, no Christmas parties.”

She felt like the world's biggest piece of shit. Kioku had wanted nothing more than to just have a simple normal Christmas for the first time in her damn life, and Chris had promised her that. And now here she was, using the shit she went through as some kind of excuse for why she wasn't able to fulfill her promise. It’d be better if she lied to her in full, told her it was something else entirely. But she couldn't do that. She couldn’t lie to Kioku. She just wished the truth wasn't true.

“I’m sorry.” Kioku said automatically, looking ghastly pale and deeply apologetic. “I’m just so glad you’re safe.” She got up on shaky legs, wrapping Chris in a hug that gave her a face full of boob.

“Oi!” Her muffled voice yelled.

“Sorry!” Kioku backed off immediately, looking red in the face. 

“Don’t stop now, it was just getting to the good part.” A voice from the doorway said, making both of them jump.

“Iwa you bitch!” Kioku shouted, looking _ungodly_ embarrassed. “Were you eavesdropping the whole time?”

“Yeah.”

“ _Cunt!”_ Kioku shouted, looking angry enough that her face was turning purple.

“She said she didn’t wanna explain it twice!” Iwasawa said with a shrug towards Chris.

“Uhhhh…” Chris started but Kioku cut her off.

“Wait did you two conspire this?” Kioku said, raising her eyebrows in deep suspicion.

“No.” They both said at the same time.

“Oh you’re a bunch of little bitches!” Kioku yelled with no hostility, and Chris could feel the tension leave the room. She wasn’t quite sure how she had saved this situation, but she was thankful for it anyway.

“She’s the little one.” Iwasawa remarked, jestering at Chris.

“Oi! Eat shit!” Chris said standing, gripping the box of chocolates angrily.

“What’s that?” Kioku said, looking at the present.

“Oh this?” Chris held up the box that Yuki had given her lamely. “It’s well, plan B.”

 _“Plan B?”_ Kioku said incredibly irritated now.

“Look I don’t know how to do this sort of thing!” Chris yelled back.

“ _You think my forgiveness can be bought with chocolates!”_

“Does that mean you don’t want the chocolates?” Iwasawa asked, making a grabby hand.

“Nooooo...” Kioku instantly whined, snatching them out of Chris's hands. “My chocolate.” She said in a small protective voice.

Chris couldn't help but look at her affectionately. She really was quite pretty. “Merry Christmas ya dingus.”

“Oh come on you saps, let’s watch some garbage before your cheesiness gives me diarrhea.” Iwasawa remarked drly, walking out of the room.

Chris went to stand up, but Kioku threw herself around her again in a fiercely desperate hug. They just stood there for a minute, Kioku shaking as she whispered in her ear. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I really am sorry.” Chris apologized again, returning the embrace slowly.

“I don’t care about that ya dingus, don’t worry about it..” Kioku laughed with a reassuring rub up and down her back.

“I care okay?” Chris held her there, looking into her eyes, noticing how flush Kioku was. “My foot’s always in my mouth, can we just start over?” She said with a small desperate smile.

Kioku returned it with a smile of forgiveness. “Goddamnit.” And with a small kiss to the cheek, she was out the hallway.

Chris stood there, clutching a hand to her warm cheek in shock, before smiling to herself, she followed. The living room was still quite the mess, and a pile of dishes was threatening to put Tsubasa to shame with how much of a disaster they were.

“Kioku can you do the dishes already?” Iwasawa said irritated, sitting on a bean bag chair as she began to tune her acoustic guitar.

“I have a guest!” Kioku said defensively.

“I actually can’t stay.” Chris said with a laugh. “Bodyguard will lose her tits if I’m gone for much longer.” Seeing her friend's crestfallen face, she quickly pulled out a note. “But! Give me a text sometime why don’t ya?” She said, passing the paper to Kioku, who’s eyes lit up with more delight than they did when she grabbed the chocolate.

“You finally got a fucking phone?”

“OI!” Chris wagged her finger at her. “Don’t blow my phone up now damnit. I’ll block both of your numbers.” She warned.

“This is so awesome! This will make planning everything so much easier!” Kioku said, looking ready to jump to the ceiling in joy. Just as she was ready to input the number however, her phone rang, making the girl frown in consternation silencing it right away. “Will you piss off?” She muttered angrily to her phone.

“That scam call again?” Iwasawa asked as she finished putting in Chris’s number into her own phone.

“Yeah. This is the second time this week.” Kioku said, looking perturbed. “But who cares! You me and Miku have got to plan a day out this week! Are you free Saturday?” She said, her green eyes sparkling with ambition.

“I can probably do something. Might be more than just me and her though.” Chris warned ahead of time.

“The more the merrier!” Kioku said bouncing up and down. “Let’s meet up tomorrow and plan it out! I have been dying to go out!”

“Yeah okay.” Chris agreed, shocking herself. When the hell had she become this social butterfly?

Chrysalis indeed.

“Alright, I really gotta go.” Chris said at last. “ _Don’t_ blow up my phone!” She warned them for the last time with a grin. “See you tomorrow.”

She considered paying Kioku back for that little stunt earlier, and give her a little peck on the cheek as she left. But decided to maybe make the blonde sweat a little for it. Let her stir a bit before Chris played back with the teasing.

“Stay safe chica.” Iwasawa said, picking up her guitar again.

“Get hit by a bus!” Kioku said happily. 

“Adios!” Chris flashed them the peace sign as she walked out. She was not a second out the door before she let out a long held breath. At long last she had finally gotten that particular hurdle cleared. She was beginning to realize that she cared about Kioku and Iwasawa a bit more than she let herself believe at the start of all this. It was a development that she was finding it very easy to enjoy.

Having friends was fun.

Speaking of though…

She could not help but notice that the hallway in the dormitories was empty of people she recognized. There was the occasional odd face she saw from class, but not the one she was looking for.

Heading outside the sun was setting, casting a pink and orange glow in the sky. Chris’s eyes were better than damn near anyone’s, and she still wasn’t finding who she was looking for. It wasn’t until she peaked inside a local convenience store that she finally found her.

“Oi!” Chris said, approaching Maria who was in the middle of the makeup section. “Aren’t you supposed to be protecting me or something?” She asked with her hands on her hips and a grin, but got no response in kind.

Maria was just staring at the box of hair care in her hand, eyes a million miles away. “Oi! Anyone home?” Chris barked, waving her hand in front of the woman’s face to no response. “Hey!” She said gripping the girl’s arm, seemingly breaking her out of her trance in doing so.

“Oh!” Maria gasped, dropping the box in shock. “Chris! You startled me.” She laughed awkwardly, looking pale and shaken. “Sorry, I must have zoned out there. Are you ready to go?”

Chris eyed her carefully. “You doing okay?” Not that she was the best judge of when you were pushing yourself too hard, but Maria looked ready to collapse.

“I haven’t been sleeping the best.” Maria said, and while she could detect a hint of honesty there, she could tell that she was not being completely forthright. 

“Let’s get home then. We’ll order out so senpai doesn't burn the place down.” Chris said warmly, jerking her head behind. “Let’s go.”

“Yeah,” Maria said nonchalantly. Going to follow her, she turned around, grabbing the box of platinum blonde hair dye and putting it back on the shelf where she found it.

~!~

The setting sun bathed the city of Saitama in an ominous amber glow as they pulled into the Shrine’s parking lot. The almost violently colorful sky unsettled Shirabe, even from behind the safety of the car window.

“Were you still wanting to go inside Shirabe-san?” Ogawa asked kindly from the driver seat.

“Yeah.” Shirabe muttered, getting out of the car and walking up the steps. 

The Tsuki Shrine had been a place of spiritual guidance and security. It was one of the seven interconnected Hikawa Shrines that formed a perfect mirror of the _Orion’s Gate_ Constellation; one that had been planned to be utilized by the _Bavarian Illuminati_. They had foiled their plan thankfully enough, partially because of what they learned at this Shrine.

But it was not just the paths of stars or the locations of Key Stones that Shirabe had learned while here. She had also learned to allow herself to be vulnerable to another, to her fellow Wielder and senpai, Kazanari Tsubasa. 

The ruthless and inherently competitive nature of the _White Orphanage_ had trained her to make her heart a prison. There were a finite amount of _Symphogears_ after all, and if you were not selected then your only hope would be to someday become the life that was consumed by Finé. It was a horrifying and harsh time. Kirika and Maria were the only ones she ever allowed herself to be vulnerable too. For every one else in the Orphanage, it may as well have been kill or be killed.

The time before the _White Orphanage_ was not something she could remember. Her time at the _White Orphanage_ was something she wished she could forget. 

And despite all of that, Tsubasa had accepted her. All of the Wielders did truthfully, but it was Tsubasa alone who seemed to see right through her. She alone could tell just how high the walls around her heart were, and instead of asking to be let in like the others, she waited outside. For her to let her in, when she was ready.

She never could thank Tsubasa enough for that kindness.

“Would you like me to wait out here Shirabe-san?” Ogawa asked politely, keeping a few arm lengths away from the young girl and the temple steps. She appreciated Tsubasa’s assistant, even if she did find the depth of his involvement with her senpai’s affairs to be quite difficult to understand. She supposed that was what you got when you were born into more wealth than you knew what to do with.

_No Shirabe. Do not do that._

She mentally chastised herself for her unfair appraisal of Tsubasa. She knew very well that Tsubasa had been spending the better part of her family's vast fortune for the various relief benefits around the world following the _Yggdrasil_ incident. In addition to using her fame as an idol to get donations from those who would be more reluctant to part ways with. When it came to the phrase put your money where your mouth is, Tsubasa was doing that and then some.

Kirika had been trying to help her curb her impulsive judgemental attitudes, especially to her fellow Gear wielders. It was something Shirabe was trying her best on, but much like teaching Kirika to ice skate, it took time. Not that the heir of the Kazanari foundation would ever let her know that she was bothered by this. She supposed the idol lifestyle had made her rather strong to critique, something she shared with Maria, and all of a sudden she missed those days with Maria.

The days of helping her perfect the idol motif. Of copying that which Tsubasa did, that which other idols did. That of helping her guard her heart against the harsh critique of those who loved and hated her music. The harsh words of Mom and that disgusting parasite Dr. Ver. The nights where she and Kirika would huddle around Maria’s leg’s while she told them of an old Ukranian bedtime story. Normally the bed time stories were incredibly depressing, but the memory of it was one of the most precious of the few she had.

And nowadays memory was beginning to take up more of what they knew Maria from than not.

She knew they would not always be together forever, but Shirabe could not help but wonder if Maria thought of their old times together as much as she and Kirika did. Kirika could try and hide it all she liked, but she knew that Maria’s gaps in contact bothered her dawn just as much as it bothered her. She understood that Maria was an adult, and because she was not in school like them, often did international operations for SONG, including the fact that she was the only one of them whose identity was known for the whole world. She was busy. She had shit to do. She knew that. She understood that.

But she also really, really, really, _really_ , missed her.

“Shirabe-san?” Ogawa’s words broke her out of her reverie. 

“I’m sorry.” Shirabe said, gathering herself in the present. “May I go alone?” She asked the agent, who nodded respectfully. She supposed that the man who she had once nearly bisected would likely be just as capable of getting to her in time in case trouble arised. He could walk on water after all.

With a deep breath, she took the steps up the Tsuki Shrine.

Shirabe would not consider herself religious. In spite of meeting as close to God and living to tell about it, what she had seen then, if anything, gave her more evidence for doubt than for belief. These beings, these Custodians, were icons of myth and legend through many millennia and while they were clearly awe inspiring in their capability, to call them deities felt...wrong. 

They had met the one called Enki, and the one called Shem-Ha Mephorash. They were not omnipotent beings of perfect judgement and divinity, they were not uncaring observers, watching their creations toil in agony. They were, all things considered, surprisingly human. Flawed, and ambitious, kind, and regretful, angry, and vengeful. They reminded her of herself, of her fellow Wielders.

Despite everything, they were more similar than they were different.

Something that could be easily said about gods, but not about something else.

She disliked most religious sites, especially the Western style ones that would always depict Christ stuck to the cross. It had disturbed her before but even more so now, as the horrific imagery reminded her sickly of how she and Kirika had found Chris. Elfnein had told them how if they had been minutes later, or if they had not gotten extra LiNKER, Chris would have certainly died. When the young alchemist said that, she seemed to say it as if she thought it would make Kirika and Shirabe feel better.

It did not.

For that reason, amongst others, she could appreciate the adorable statues of rabbits that were all over the Shrine. It was impossibly cute, and it helped put her at ease for why she was here.

“Well isn’t this a pleasant surprise!” The Oshō greeted her with a smile as warm as a fireplace as she approached. “None of your friends today?”

She smiled at him, “Just me today.” Saying it made her feel insecure, but she knew this was something that she wanted to do by herself.

He seemed to consider her warmly for a moment, before nodding. “Well then, come now.” He showed her the way to the back of the Shrine where a small smooth pool of water awaited her. They had talked at this same pool the year prior, and she found to her shock that despite the weather, there was no ice in the pond. 

“Please sit,” He said, placing a small pillow on the porch for her to sit on. It was a small courtesy, but Shirabe’s already very cold butt appreciated it.

“Thank you.” She said automatically, sitting down on her knees with her legs tucked under her butt. He disappeared inside, before returning with two steaming cups of hot chocolate.

“I find there is no conversation that cannot be improved by hot chocolate, don’t you agree?” He said, putting the cup of cocoa into her hands. Sipping his own with a beaming smile he looked over his glasses at her. “What’s on your mind dear?”

Shirabe felt uncertainty wrestle her to the ground. She was unsure if her inquiry to meet the Oshō today would have even been possible, but now that it was and she was here before him in such a way, she found the words dry up in her throat. How could she talk about this without sounding like a crazy person? Or like a stupid child scared of monsters under her bed?

“Drink.” His words interrupted her thoughts. “It helps. It really does.” He gave her a knowing wink and sipped his cocoa again.

Shirabe stared into her mug, and sighed. Closing her eyes, she took a long drink of the chocolate and was shocked at just how sweet it tasted. The warmth seemed to flood into her and spread throughout her entire body, till she felt the tips of her ears burning and the feeling in her toes return. She hadn’t even realized just how cold she was.

“Thank you.” She said in a small voice, before taking a breath.

“Hot cocoa.” He said, tapping the side of the mug with a pleased expression. “Makes anything and everything better.” He assured her with a wry wink.

“I...do you think there’s such a thing as evil?” She asked, looking up at him.

His expression faltered for just a moment of abrupt shock, but he recovered quick enough. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose he took a sip of his cocoa as if in deliberation. “Yes. And no.” He sat himself down next to her, seemingly unaffected by the cold. “Good and evil are concepts held by man. They are not universal, and are in fact, down to individual perspective.”

“Perspective?” Shirabe questioned, blowing the steam off the top of her mug.

“Indeed.” He sipped his drink again. “Rarely will you find someone whom most individuals would consider evil, thinking themselves as doing anything wrong. They may think they are doing a necessary evil, but ultimately, most of the time they would classify themselves and what they are doing as the actions of somebody who is good.” 

Shirabe could not help but think of Frontier. Dr. Ver and Mom had told all three of them that they were the last hope to save the planet from Finé’s last act in life. That they would be hated, scorned, and cast off as villains for the roles they would play in saving humanity. 

But Dr. Ver assured them that one day, humanity would recognize their heroism. That humanity would see that yes, indeed, those whose name meant the end were in fact those who would usher in the beginning of the new age of humanity.

“Perspective…” She muttered. “What about those who do things that they know are good, but others don’t?” She asked, feeling her heartbeat quicken.

He seemed to consider this for a while before replying. “Some of the most horrible atrocities in the world have been done by people who sincerely believe that what they are doing is good.” 

She could not help it, but her thoughts turned to Finé, and how her love for Enki ruined the lives of so many people. “Is it possible then? To do good?” She asked, staring into her mug.

“I think it is possible to do the most right thing.” He said after some consideration. “There is a Western Phrase; you reap what you sow.” He finished his hot cocoa. “I chose to believe that those who try their very best to do good for others and do right by themselves are doing the most right thing. Unfortunately, individuals far too often prioritize the latter over the former.” He sighed, looking up at the orange sky. “It’s not their fault, it’s simply human nature.”

“Human nature?”

“We make mistakes. We yell, we overreact, we hurt those we love most, not by cruelty, not by malice, but through love.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Those we love the most are inevitably the ones we hurt the most. As sure as the sun will rise.”

_Maria…_

She thought of Finé, trying to rid the world of the Curse of Balal, so that she may rule said world. She thought of Dr. Ver, who wanted to save humanity from extinction, by using Maria as his own breeding machine. Of Carol, who wanted to find a way to understand her father’s death by destroying the world. Of Adam, who wanted the power to stand over those who abandoned him, by obtaining the power to subjugate them all.

She thought of Shem-Ha. The architect of their lives, the shaper of all humankind. The God who wanted to unite the creations she loved so much. She thought of her ambition to chase her fellow species to the edge of the cosmos and make them pay for sealing her away and subjecting her children to endless misunderstanding.

It made her head hurt.

It made her heart hurt.

“Is there anything we can do?” Shirabe asked somewhat hopelessly. 

“I hope so.” He said, sounding even older than he was. “As long as we try to make the world a better place, I think it will continue to be a better place. Only by turning a blind eye to the suffering of others do we find ourselves becoming truly evil. That is what I believe.”

“The most right thing.” Shirabe said. It should have been something she hated. A platitude. A phrase to say in lieu of saying anything at all. And yet, had it not been what they had been trying to do all along?

“Sometimes it means bringing suffering to yourself.” He said, and for a moment he looked impossibly sad. “Sometimes it means hiding the truth when you most desperately want to tell it. Sometimes it means doing the last thing you want to do. Sometimes doing the most right thing is the most difficult thing of all.” 

Darkness was beginning to fall upon the shrine now, and Shirabe knew that they would have to go soon. She didn’t want to leave, but she knew if they did not head out soon then they would just make the others worry.

“Thank you for the cocoa.” She said sincerely, handing the mug back to him. 

His smile returned, radiant and warm as ever. “Of course my child. Don’t you go being a stranger now. This place is warmer with you here.” He said getting up and gathering his things.

They walked back through the shrine in peaceful silence, but the question that most plagued Shirabe still lingered on the edge of her tongue.

“I’m sorry, I just had one more question.” She asked suddenly, knowing she wouldn’t get it out if she didn’t ask it right that moment.

“Yes?” He asked quizzically.

“Do you believe in reincarnation?” She asked, feeling her throat tighten.

His eyes clouded in confusion for a moment, and she could feel him analyzing her. “I do.”

“Do you believe that true evil can be reincarnated?” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. She could feel her cheeks burn with embarrassment, yet his look was not one of judgement, but of inquisitiveness.

“Whatever do you mean?” He asked, looking perplexed.

“Do you think it is possible for someone who is trying to do the most worst thing can be reincarnated, just as bad as they were before?” It felt even sillier saying it, but she had to know. She had to know.

“I…” He seemed to consider lying, before thinking better of it. “I don’t think it’s impossible, no. I think it is possible for those who have committed themselves to causing others to live a life of suffering will come back as rotten as they were before.” His eyes narrowed at her. “Why do you ask?”

She bowed to him. “Thank you.” Before sprinting down the steps of the shrine, moving right past Ogawa and into the car, slamming it shut behind her. She could barely stop her shaking, it was like time had stopped around her. The setting sun had finally vanished and in its place was just the overwhelming darkness that threatened to swallow her hole.

There were voices outside, and Ogawa eventually made his way back into the car. Without a word he started it up, and began the drive back to Tokyo. The silence was immeasurably overwhelming, and she hated every second of it. Had he spied on their conversation? Overheard her childish anxieties? Was he judging her now? Judging her now for her lack of faith in the one she loved most?

It was too much.

This was too much.

“Pull over!” She shouted, and in a second it was done. Flying out of her seat and opening the car door, she barely got her head out in time before she puked all over the side of the road. A dry sob escaping from her just as assuredly as her lunch did.

There was a hand on her back that gently led her back to a sitting position, still half out of the car. A smart suit jacket wrapped around her shoulders to protect her from the harsh January winds. The same silence that had been suffocating before, felt incredibly comforting now. There was no panic, no rush, no demand for explanation. 

She understood now why he was such a good fit for Tsubasa. She learned it from him.

“Ogawa-san…” She spoke at last, her voice hoarse from sobbing.

“I’m here Shirabe-san.” He said gently, rubbing her back gently. His smile was warm and gentle as ever.

“D-do you think Kiri-chan and I were wrong?” She looked up at him, tears at the edge of her eyes.

His own seemed to harden in response. “About what, Shirabe-san?”

“About Finé. About her being dead. About all of this.”

He seemed to think long and hard about his next words.

“I hope with everything in my heart that you and Kirika-san were right. I hope that Finé is indeed dead.” He sighed, taking off his glasses and putting them in his pocket. “But yes, I do think you are wrong.”

The drive back felt much longer than before.

~!~

Kirika couldn’t stop looking at the clock.

Shirabe had abruptly requested to go to the Tsuki Shrine in Saitama this morning, and after some fenageling, managed to secure a ride with Ogawa. Since they had conflicting classes, Kirika couldn’t go with her, but more than that she could not help but get the feeling that Shirabe wanted to go alone.

She tried not to let that get to her.

She really did.

But everytime Shirabe wasn’t with her, it felt like part of her was missing. Like you had put her on an operating table, opened her up and removed one of her lungs and then told her to go about her day. Who was she without Shirabe? What was the Dawn without the Moon?

“Stop it Kiri-chan!” She chastised herself, smacking herself hard on the top of the head to just further exacerbate her headache. It was a bad habit that Maria had stopped her from doing during the FIS days. She would always smack herself whenever she screwed something up for their group and would make Mom mad. But she did it for a reason! If she smacked herself then Mom would always be less willing to hurt them. So even though she always had low compatibility scores and would never do well on the tests, she could still help in her own little way.

And that’s what she was doing now! She was going to find out who was doing this! She was going to call all the former Receptor Children's names! And cross reference all the flower shop names! She wouldn’t need Shirabe’s help to do it because her precious Moon was under too much stress as it was. Everyone was. But she’d show them. She’d be able to get down to the bottom of this. Get down to the root of the problem.

She would find out who was doing this.

And she’d show everyone that she was right! That she did kill Finé! That she was able to do at least one good thing! And if she messed up she’d motivate herself with more punishment. This was her problem to take on alone. If she needed to punish herself she would. Because this problem was hers to solve. It was hers to solve. It was hers to solve.

So she would stay up at night. And she would go to every flower shop in Tokyo. And she would call every number. And she would call every number again. And she would cross reference with every number she’d find. And she’d cross reference every number again. And she’d call every number again. And when she messed up she would punish herself. And if she messed up again she would punish herself again.

And she would do it until it was done. She would bear her own punishments, she would bear the investigation, she would crack the case.

Because if she was wrong...

Because if Finé was alive…

Then that would mean she would not have been able to do even one good thing.

And if that were true, then she might as well just disappear.

Besides, Maria wasn’t here to stop her now.

Shocking her out of her thoughts was the vibration of her phone... Oh thank goodness! Shirabe had texted her back! Ogawa had stopped them at an ice cream parlor to help Shirabe’s spirits, and she’d be home before she knew it! Shirabe would be home and Kirika would be complete again!

The news put more pep in her step than any cup of coffee, and she resolved to finish the round of calls before calling it for a night. She had already tried almost everybody, and the most recent person she tried, _Itai Kioku_ had just produced a busy number once again. Maybe she would feel better about all of this if even one of the people she called actually answered.

Truth be told, she often found herself on dead end calls, busy signals, disconnected numbers, or just straight up rejections. She had a whole song and dance lined up to pretend to be a surveyor to get as much information out from them as possible, but despite her practicing her routine at every free hour she had, it was without use.

_Like me!_

“Stop it Kiri-chan!” And she punished herself again. She couldn’t let herself get distracted. This kind of work stressed out Shirabe, and she couldn’t let her be stressed out anymore so she absolutely had to do it before Shirabe got home! Then she could pack it all up and things would be A-OKAY!

She picked a name at random and dialed the number for it. She’d call this number before, but never got the call to connect. To her shock however! This time it was ringing! It was ringing! It was ringing!

And then someone picked up the phone.

Kirika waited with bated breath. This was the first time someone had answered her in two weeks of calling. Forgetting her whole spheal, she just stammered out. “I-is this J-Jeanne?”

The other end of the line chuckled to themselves, before speaking in a voice she only heard in her worst nightmares.

“ _Be careful where you tread. The ice is thin.”_

And then the only thing she could hear was the dial tone ring in her ear.

She dropped her phone to the floor.

She dropped to the floor.

And slowly she backed herself against the wall, and hugged her knees to her chest. Her head was pounding, her heartbeat was in her throat, and her skin was clammy. She banged the back of her head against the wall. “Stop it Kiri-chan.” That voice was in her head. It was in her soul. It was on the phone, telling her she was wrong. Undoing her one good thing. She banged her head again. “Stop it Kiri-chan.” She was wrong. She was wrong. She was wrong. She was wrong. She was wrong. “Stop it Kiri-chan.” She banged her head again. It was like there were worms underneath her skin, crawling up her arms and legs and beneath her skin, like the roots of a horrible weed. She could feel the bumps in her skin going up her neck and down her chest. Towards her heart. Towards her brain.

She was wrong.

Bang.

“Stop it Kiri-chan.”

She was wrong

Bang.

“Stop it Kiri-chan.”

She was wrong.

Bang.

“Stop it Kiri-chan.”

She was wrong.

Bang.

“Stop it Kiri-chan.”

She was so fucking wrong.

Veins that should not be there bulged under her face, heading towards her eyes, towards her mouth, and she was wrong, she was so wrong and she was going to disappear like she should have so long ago. She was wrong, she was wrong and now she was going to be that which she lacked, a memory.

“Stop it Kiri-chan…” Her voice was so weak, it was like it was coming from the bottom of the sea. Because it was. The blackest sea. The darkest depths. Where Dawn’s morning light could never, ever reach.

“Kiri-chan?”

The Moon pulled the tides of the sea back, and light flooded the dark room of punishment. Her eyes strained under the hard adjustment and suddenly she was not looking from the bottom of the sea, but at her Moon.

Her Shirabe.

And she was complete once again.

“Shirabe!” She threw herself around her love in absolute delight. “Did you enjoy your ice cream?” She saw what was in Shirabe’s hands. “ _DID YOU GET ME ICE CREAM?!_ ” 

Smiling, Shirabe held out the cone for her, which Kirika quickly bit into with instant regret. “It’s so cold!”

“It’s ice cream Kiri-chan!” Shirabe scolded good naturedly, patting her love on the back with an affectionate smile. But out of the corner of her eye, she saw a hole in the wall where Kirika had been sitting. It looked like someone had thrown a baseball as hard as they could at the wall. “Kiri-chan why were you on the floor?” She asked her inquisitively, looking around at the rest of the room.

“Oh.” Kirika swallowed down half of the ice cream hole. “I must have fallen asleep!” She said with a giggle, rubbing the back of her head. Following Shirabe’s eyes, she stuffed her face quickly. “Don’t worry! I’ll clean it all up!” She said quickly bolting towards the desk and cleaning the various paper works of her investigations off.

_Bad Kiri-chan._

Shirabe watched her quickly move, papers scattering every which way. One twirled in the air before landing down directly at her feet. Bending over to pick it up, Shirabe briefly scanned it, eyes sharpening as she caught a familiar name on the flower shop list. “Kiri-chan…” She said, voice wavering, making the happy go lucky blonde turn in concern.

“What is it Shirabe?”

In response, the girl handed her the piece of paper. Proving just once more that she couldn’t do anything right. She had to have looked over this paper a hundred times and never once caught it, but there the name was, staring them right in the face.

And it made Kirika’s blood boil.

_Natsu Kashiyami_

~!~

_Friday_

_January 12th_

_2046_

She had seen one of them.

In the soup kitchen no less.

She knew it wasn’t an accident. 

Somehow. That woman had manipulated her into coming here. She knew that Jeanne and Melody had slept under this bridge countless nights. She knew that they went to the soup kitchen for a hot meal. She knew that Jeanne would abandon her apartment after she rejected her request. She knew that Jeanne would come _here,_ she knew that she would see _her_ , and she knew that it would be just another fucking temptation. 

How had she done this?

How the hell was this woman doing all of this?

Any of this?

Her hand instinctively went to her arm, trying to feel if there were any of those vines, those roots. The weed that had buried itself into her skin. The only thing on her arms was the scars put there by the _White Orphanage_ or herself, and she wasn’t about to excavate her own arm to find out if it was underneath.

Picking up the pace, she quickly darted further away from the soup kitchen, heart beating in her throat. The darkness of the bridge was illuminated as a car drove by, shining a spotlight on her for the slightest heart stopping moment, before continuing on. 

The miserable icey rain could not reach Jeanne under here, but she knew that was not true for her pursuer. With a pocket mirror in one hand to watch her back, she hurriedly walked as fast as her feet could take her. She needed to make distance.

In the aftermath of _Yggdrasil_ , the population of homeless had skyrocketed, and despite all the posturing and platitudes of the government, many were left behind. She knew not to rely on those in power for anything; it was just a way for them to further exploit you. This bridge had become one of the few safe havens for those without shelter, but it was not a place of refuge for her now.

If she had indeed run into one of those _Symphogears_ here, then that meant only one thing. _She_ was near. And she had to do all she could to make sure that that horrible woman was as far away from them as possible. 

_Is that even possible?_

The thought entered her mind, as she tried to remember the woman who had come into her room. Whispering the names of those who wielded the _Symphogears_ , whispering how their lives were ones of luxury and heroism. About how the government paid for them to live in luxury apartments while she slept under bridges. Truth be told, she fucking hated the _Symphogears_ , especially Nastassja’s brats, but she would not let herself be used by that… monster that had crept into her bed.

There was no other word for her.

A horrible monster that had done something to her. The monster that had broken into her apartment. The monster that told her the names of the girls who saved the world. The monster that showed her where they lived. The monster that told her what she wanted Jeanne to do.

The monster that was following her right now.

The pocket mirror holding the reflection of the blonde woman fell to the ground with a clatter. Turning around completely, Jeanne’s eye widened in horror as she took in the monster before her. Tall and voluptuous, blonde hair that went to her backside, she wore a dark hat and sunglasses, a black v-neck dress that looked more like a towel with how little it covered. She was beautiful, she was terrifying, and she was smirking at her, just like before.

“Stay away!” Her voice broke at the last syllable. 

The monster smirk deepened, the klick klacking of her heels echoing at impossible decibels beneath the bridge.

“I said stay away!” Jeanne screamed sprinting away. The dirt and slush kicked up under her feet, heart beating as her cancer filled lungs tried to give her as much distance as they could between her and the monster. The towering column holding up the bridge like monolithes to her failure to escape, each and every single one of them she passed as she tried to get to the river. She knew that river, the same river she and Melody had slept next too on more occasions than most, just under this bridge. If she could get there, she’d be safe. Somehow, in some impossible way, she wouldn’t be hurt there. 

The klick klack of the monster's heels followed in pursuit like something breathing down her neck. _She_ , no _It_ was in no fucking hurry to get her. Like a big cat stalking it’s injured prey, it was only a matter of time before the bleeding calf could run no longer.

And then the monster could feast.

“Stay away from me! Just stay away!”

“Jeannnnnnne…”

Her voice was a taunting sing song being sung directly into her ear like the confession of a lover. A private little something just for her.

“Stay away! I won’t do it! Somebody help me please!” Jeanne screams echoed underneath the endless bridge. Her foot slipping on the slush beneath her feet, sending her to the ground in a pathetic heap. Fingernails digging into the snow, that was when she saw the roots again

Like little snakes they slithered out of her fingernails and knuckles, burrowing into the earth with terrifying energy. She tried to stand but felt the tug within her fingers keeping her rooted to the ground like an eldritch handcuff. The worst of it all was that it didn’t even _hurt_ , it felt normal, like she was digging her own fingers into the ground. Those horrible things _were_ a part of her.

The snow crunched underneath the heels behind her.

Her time was up.

“I won’t do it.”

If she had to go out, she would go out defiant. She would not let this monster be victorious. She would not let herself be used as a weapon ever again.

The monster kicked her hard in the stomach, flipping her onto her back, forcing her to gaze up at the blonde menace. “Is that so?” The woman said simply, not an ounce of surprise in her voice.

“ _I won't do it!”_

 _“NO!?!”_ The woman leapt onto her, the glasses falling off and a wild look of fury and lust in her eyes. She wasnt sure if she was about to kill her or rape her, but she could only hope what happened next was over quick.

“I won’t do it.” She repeated, her voice trembling. To her shock, the monster just sat there on her for a moment, before laughing, a hollow immortal laugh.

“‘I won’t do it” she says, ‘I won’t do it, I won’t do it.” She shook her head, smirking. “Jeanne, you don’t understand.” She said as she took off her hat, the wind carrying it away. “I’m here for your benefit.”

Jeanne spit in her face.

“Fuck you.”

The monster recoiled in disgust, with one slow hand wiping the saliva off her face. “Defiance. A reprieve from your unending torment.” She nodded to herself. “I can understand that, but I can’t respect it!” Her hand came down like a whip across the girl’s face, and she never felt so small in her entire life. Not even when Nastassja would strike them would she feel as small and powerless as she did now.

She was helpless as the monster grabbed the front of her shirt, pulling her into a sitting position. She gave a small moan of terror as the woman licked the side of her face, tongue leaving a trail up over her eyepatch as she growled in satisfaction. “You’re going to do what I want you to do, not because _I_ want you to do it. But because _you_ want to do it.” She leaned in, biting on Jeanne’s earlobe intimately and whispering. “Do you understand?”

“Stop...please stop.” Jeanne whimpered in her grasp. God why couldn't this woman just kill her? Why couldn’t she just fucking die? Why did Melody get to escape? Why did Melody get to get out? Why couldn’t she have died too?

“I won’t stop, not until you understand what I am offering you.” The whispered words came from lips that threatened to kiss her, and suddenly, they were gone.

The roots were too.

And it was just as suddenly, much, much colder.

But she was still under the bridge.

Only this time, it was that night.

That Christmas night.

_“Mel! Come on Mel wake up! Mel wake up it’s Christmas!”_

Those foolish words.

Those stupid words.

“Please… please don’t.” Jeanne closed her eye, but she couldn’t stop the memory from completing in her head. The little Christmas tree they bought together, dangling next to them, the horrible freezing temperature, and her sister's vacant eyes and blue lips.

“ _Stop it!”_ She shouted out into the void as long as she could. Hoping her words could kill that woman. 

That monster.

The same monster who’s voice now seemed to come from all around her. Whispering in her ear, against her lips, in her head, whispering so loud it was deafening. 

“You were born, so that I may be reborn into you. Such is the fate of all Receptor Children.” Her eye was forced open now, as she looked at the dead body of her sister. Her Melody. Her lovely little Melody. “But my blood runs in your veins, and in hers.”

The woman’s voice now barely audible in her ear. 

“If I can come back from the dead, why can’t she?”

The words hung there like a noose, and for a moment Jeanne could feel every square inch of her body. From the top of her head to the bottoms of her toes, she was a livewire. Could this be true?

“You can bring her back?”

She whispered it, daring for it to be true. Desperate for it to be true.

“I will guide her soul home to you Jeanne. That is my gift to you.”

The world around her was black, but she could feel the weight in her arms. The weight of Melody as she desperately carried her through the streets, through the wintery hellscape, trying to find anyone who could help her.

Who could help them both.

“What do you say Jeanne? Do we have a deal?”

“Ah!” Jeanne woke up from a dead sleep with a start. Eye rapidly searching every corner of the building she was in. There were dozens of other people, some wearing shabbier winter clothes like she was, some of them still in line to get some hot food. 

She knew this place.

This was the soup kitchen. 

Gulping, she looked down at her own food. Just some chicken noodle soup that she had consumed like a hungry beast. She barely felt it now, she was certain she could eat all the food here with the raw hunger she felt.

It was then that she noticed _her_.

A blonde haired girl with pigtails was whispering to _her_ , and then the other girl was standing up. They were both volunteers, but it was the shorter one who was walking towards her with a kind expression on her face. She had lavender hair and eyes, and a soft face full of kindness and patience. She was walking right towards her.

“Hey there, you feeling okay?” Yukine Chris, the _Symphogear_ wielder of _Ichaival_ asked her.

Time seemed to stop, the woman looking down at her with such a kind expression on her face, that it made Jeanne want to puke and scream. It was all she could do to mumble, “I was just finishing up.” Before getting up and walking quickly out the door.

She had made it maybe two steps outside of the soup kitchen when she puked all over the nearest snowbank. Beneath the shadow of the bridge the kitchen lay beneath, the feeling of deja vu was overwhelming.

It was all too insanely familiar.

Was her dream really a dream?

She reached into her breast pocket, finding that picture of her and Melody from all those years ago. That same picture that once had Maria and Serena Cadenzavna Eve with her. She knew one of those sisters had died.

And now a ghost was within the other.

And that ghost had made her a very special offer.

Putting the picture into her breast pocket, she walked out from under the bridge with new determination.

Could she do it?

Could she really do what Finé had asked?

Could she really kill a _Symphogear_ wielder?


	11. Spin The Bottle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's everyone doing? Everyone having a good time? Hope so! Be forwarned that there is some heavy shit in this chapter (you're shocked. I know.) Including references and implications of things like sexual assault, severe depression, and so forth. I respect your intellegence enough to assume you have a good idea of what to expect from the fic by now, but just be aware, that the end of this chapter is a bit darker than most of the fic in general. With that being said,

**“You really can bring her back?”**

_“As assuredly as I have returned, so will she.”_

~!~

The trip down the elevator felt especially long.

“You’re back already? How did the negotiations go?” His niece asked over the phone, making Genjuro sigh in consternation.

“Not as well as we could have hoped. I’ll have more details later. How are Chris and Maria-kun doing?” He asked, careful to keep his emotions on the second name in check.

“Yukine has gone to a soup kitchen in Sector 26 with some of her college friends. Ogawa-san is with her while I watch over Maria.” He looked over at Ogawa, who was riding the elevator with him and nodded.

“Make sure Maria-kun stays hydrated. Hopefully that will help her headaches. If her condition worsens we’ll have Elfnein-kun take a look at her.” He said casually. 

“Understood Uncle. I’ll let Ogawa know I’ll be staying in the rest of the day.” She said before hanging up as Genjuro just sighed, looking at the platinum blonde hair dye in his hand.

“Your brother is frustratingly good at his job.” Genjuro said, feeling ungodly tired.

“He reported that she seemed to be very unresponsive to Chris-san at first.” Ogawa said, taking the box from his Commander. 

“Hypnosis? Reincarnation? Possession?” Genjuro listed off any possibility he could think of.

“Maybe she decided ‘new year new me’ and thought this was the color to do it.” Ogawa said with an unfamiliar bitterness. “Should we bring her in?”

Genjuro thought about it, but shook his head. “We cannot treat the most circumstantial of evidence as that of a smoking gun. But we can schedule a physical for all the girls. Hopefully that will give us something to work with, more than this at the very least.” 

“I’m going to go over the ballistics at _Highton View Terrace_ again. We had to have missed something.” Ogawa said as the elevator opened.

“I’m going to tell the bridge crew the bad news.” Genjuro stated solemnly. 

“Good luck.” Ogawa said sincerely as they parted ways.

Normally he would be ecstatic to have gotten back from a UN conference the same day he left for one. They had sprung it on them at the eleventh hour that it would not be an in person meeting, but a virtual one. Thankfully he and Shibata had yet to board the plane so they would not have an excuse to have the meeting without them. The more he thought about it, he had to imagine that the Council were very upset about that fact.

“How did it go Commander?” Tomosato asked as he walked into the recreation room. He smiled at his two long loyal colleagues who were both sitting at the kitchen countertop with two hot cups of tea.

“Shibata handles politics as well as he does his soba noodles.” He answered, accepting a cup from Tomosato. “But even he could not produce us an entirely favorable outcome.” He sat at the countertop with a loud sigh.

“What does that mean for the girls?” Fujitaka asked with a tremor in his voice.

That was indeed what he had been worried about most of all. In light of the _Yggdrasil_ incident, communication between the world’s nations had been considerably friendlier, but five millennia of history cannot be undone so easily. They had been vigilant in preventing any sort of leaks on the nature of the incident, as protecting the Wielders was of the utmost importance. To this end they had agreed to be entirely forthcoming in regards to the full functional capabilities of the _Symphogears_ . As Shibata had predicted, this was something that was considered dramatically more important to the U.N. then the Wielders themselves. They lacked the hands-on experience of being alongside the Wielders to know just how much their personalities were a vital part of how the _Symphogear_ integrated itself into battle. As far as the U.N. were concerned, all that SONG had gotten in the deal was the authority over some pilots. 

After all, why would they bother investing into teenage idols when they could give the powers of relics to trained soldiers?

_Be proud of me, Aniki. If only you were here now._

“The Security Council has determined that SONG will continue to have authority over the operations of the wielders in response to supernatural disasters. International operations will require the consent of the Council, but Shibata does not believe that will be a problem that will become paramount.” He said, undoing his tie so that it hung loosely around his neck. “Unfortunately, they would not budge on their insistence on the declassification of the _Yggdrasil_ incident.”

Tomosato looked uncomfortable, but decided to press. “What is it they want declassified?”

Genjuro stood up from the counter and began to pace back and forth. It was a nervous habit from his teenage years, one he had kicked years ago once he began to take up martial arts. Normally it would be something he would keep under tight lock and key in front of his subordinates, but doing so here would by its very nature be dishonest.

“International and independent investigations into the Kazanari Organization have produced very little knowledge to them that we did not already provide. However, the knowledge that Shem-Ha Mephorash had taken possession and residence inside a human host was not one of those things.” He could feel his heart turn to ice as he realized just how up shit’s creek they were. “It is now common knowledge within the intelligence community that said human host had in fact survived the _Yggdrasil_ incident, and is living in Japan.” He let the words hang in the air.

Fujitaka and Tomosato exchanged a look, before the latter pressed. “And what does this mean for Miku-chan?”

“The Council finds that due to the host having been inhabited by Shem-Ha during the alignment of the Biological Terminal Network, that she has been privy to international secrets.” Genjuro stated matter of factly. “Because of this breach in international security, it has been demanded that the host’s custody be surrendered to the United Nations.” It was as if his soul was leaving his body as he spoke the words out loud for the first time.

“No…” Tomosato’s voice shook.

“Commander.” Fujitaka’s face was pale, eyes looking lost. “Do we have any options here?”

“Best case scenario? Miku-kun is taken away from us and her family. She is transferred to UN custody, where after much deliberation and interrogation she is designated a diplomatic asset for the Council. She will likely wear a monitoring device, and if she is permitted outside, she will go only where she is authorized. Agents will be hired to act as her friend, and all of her calls, texts, communications will be logged and recorded and evaluated each day, if not each hour. Any communication she has with a non Council personal she will have to write an expositive communication’s log. Each day she will file a report determining exactly when she woke up, how she felt when she woke up, what she ate, who she talked to, and who she wanted to talk to.”

There was a demon boiling in his heart, wanting to burn the walls around him down with fire and fury. “With every new elected official to replace the incumbent, she will go through the interrogation process again. She will be used as justifications for war, for treason, for deliberation. She may be permitted to see us and her family, in limited increments. Perhaps they will be allowed in the same region as where she will be kept, or maybe a vacation if it is determined that Miku-kun’s presence is required for it. After which we, and her family, will also be routinely monitored, observed, and interrogated regarding any and all communications with her. Any discrepancies between that which we, her family, her agents, and Miku-kun herself report will be logged and reported instantly. Said discrepancies could potentially be used as the catalyst and excuse to declare a war, to leave the Council, or destabilize a country on the brink of collapse or recovery. Regardless of the validity for it. Her life will become that of a bargaining chip for politicians to throw at each other.”

Three cups of tea sat on the countertop and table in the room, growing as cold as those who would be drinking it felt. 

“Every single aspect of her life will be documented, recorded, and reported. For every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month, of every year. For the rest of her life; that is Miku-kun’s best case scenario.” 

“C-Commander…” Fujitaka’s voice shook.

“As for the worst case scenarios: One is that once surrendered to the Council’s custody, the arguments as to whom should govern her lodging will balloon to levels of tension that could threaten a new world war. As no one will truly agree to surrender the girl with all their nation's secrets to another, ally or not. If not that, they may determine that she is something to experiment on. They may determine that her simple existence as a Japanese citizen is worthy of declaration of war itself onto her homeland. It is possible she might instead stand trial, and be sentenced to life in prison, or even be executed. It is possible she will be abducted by a third party who believes her to still be a Divine Weapon. It is possible for her to be hit by a car before the end of this sentence.” He felt blood seep out from between his fingers.

“Commander!” Tomosato said with a startled shout.

He wasn’t even sure when he began to clench his fist. His nail had dug so deep into the scab on the inside of his palm that it had cut through like a warm knife through butter. The cut had reopened, and he could only stare at his palm as it began to fill with blood.

A year ago they had defied a god, thanks to the girl who was as close a daughter he would ever have overturning the power of the curses that laid in the palm of her hand. But what if they were wrong all along? Was it perhaps his fists that were the ones cursed instead? Fists full of power. Full of strength. Full of that which most could never dream to possess. And even so, they existed within a reality in which they were unable to protect anything.

“Commander, let’s go have Elfnein take a look at this okay?” Tomosato said in a kind voice. He nodded, taking a cloth out of her hand to stop the blood flow. Hands were notoriously bad bleeders, and to let it go untreated would set a dangerous precedent for those who trusted his judgement. He could not fail them more than he already had.

The walk to the Alchemist's lab was permeated with a dreadfully heavy silence. Like every step was just a march away from an issue that they desperately needed to address, but had no idea on how to. In that moment, the weight of his failures felt overwhelming.

The gratitude he felt towards the two was impossible to quantify. How many times had they put their lives on the line for him? For the girls? For the world? They were not fortresses of muscle and power like he was, nor were they endless adaptable weapons like Ogawa. They were agents through and through, the support staff of SONG. The way that they eased all their lives through their tireless work was something that he was unsure he would ever be able to truly thank them for.

“We will not allow Miku-kun to fall into their hands.” He stated as a fact. Because it was.

“Commander?” Tomosato stopped in shock, watching his back as he continued forward.

“You would go against the United Nations, Commander?” Fujitaka asked, now both of them jogging to keep up with his unbroken stride.

“Only if they deem it worthwhile to go against me.” He said matter of factly. 

“Commander…” Tomosato put her arm on his shoulder, making him pause mid stride.

“Yes?” Seeing the doubt in her eyes just furthered the convictions in his heart. He would not allow Miku’s life to end at the hands of the UN.

“Do you intend to threaten them?” She asked timidly.

“Oh no!” He answered with a cheerful smile. “I intend to lie to them.” He said as he turned around and entered the laboratory, his support staff speechless. 

Stepping through the threshold into the lab itself however left him just as speechless as they were. Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap a small gap in a single bound! He wasn’t sure what she was doing, but whatever it was, Elfnein seemed to be possessed as she sprinted all around her lab with frantic ambition.

“-and if I can retrofit the information obtained from scanning the amygdala I can-oh! Commander!” Elfnein’s one track brain thought process was interrupted as she saw him. Almost hovering off the ground she sped towards, eyes alive in shock. “What happened to your hand!?”

“Elfnein-ku-OH!” Like he was nothing more than a dog at the vet he found himself being pulled over to a sink where the blood soaked cloth was immediately replaced.

By the time that Fujitaka and Tomosato walked in behind their fearless Commander, he looked hot under the color as Elfnein’s scolding echoed around the room. “You have to be careful Commander! If you keep aggravating this you are going to cause it to get infected!” She waved her finger at him with the most intensity witnessed on the planet. “I am sick of fixing up people’s hands! Everyone is hurting their hands! Quit it!” The scientist's voice was high pitched, nearly squeaking in volume.

It made Fujitaka giggle.

A lethal mistake.

Turning her head to the sound of the innocent giggle, the eyes of doom rested upon the unsuspecting soul. A ice cold chill went down his spine as he gulped in anxiety.

“ _Fujitaka-saaaaaaaaan!”_ Elfnein stormed over, her cheeks puffing out in anger. “ _Why do you always put my equipment on the top shelf?”_ She shouted, jumping off the ground in anger. “I am _SHORT Fujitaka-san! I cannot reach my most precious equipment!_ ” A tiny voice never contained so much anger, he found himself physically cowering against one of the counters as the scientist's rage was heard.

“I never touched your equipment!” He shouted in self defense, knocking something over behind him. Fearing that he had broken something of great importance, he saw what was behind him was only one of a seemingly dozen dirty coffee mugs. Suddenly he pieced it together. “Oh, did you mean the coffee mugs? I did not realize you counted that as your equipment Elfnei-”  
  
“ _THATISMYMOSTIMPORTANTEQUIPMENTFUJITAKA-SAN”_ Elfnein roared with so much rage she seemed to levitate off the ground. “ _DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER IT TAKES TO BREW A CUP OF COFFEE WHEN I HAVE TO GET A STEPLADDER ALL THE TIME?”_

Fujitaka desperately looked to Genjuro and Tomosato for help. Both looked rather bashful and shook their heads at him, condemning him.

“I’m sorry Elfnein-san!” He dropped to his knees and bowed his head in great respect. “I will put them where you can reach them for now on!” He said apologetically, hoping to avoid more of the alchemist's wrath. 

“Hmmmmmmm.” She crossed her arms defiantly, putting her head up in the air with a huff. “Hmph!” Before turning her back on him and walking back to what was an immense mess of paperwork and lab equipment, all centered around restoring the Gear status of _Shénshòujìng._

“Elfnein-chan, may I ask, have you been getting sleep lately?” Tomosato inquired as she knelt down, hoping not to earn the girl's ire too.

Elfnein turned around with the stare of someone who had not known a full night of sleep in eons. “Why?” She asked with a slight head tilt that showed the true depths of the shadows under her eyes.

“Elfnein-kun.” Genjuro said warmly, securing the bandages around his hand. “Your rest and health is of the utmost priority to us. Please do not push yourself to the breaking point.” 

“But I’ve had a breakthrough!” Elfnein exclaimed. Rushing over to her primary workbench, the unfinished _Shénshòujìng_ lay there, the conversion procedure nearly complete. “I have figured out a way to circumvent the Direct Feedback System!”

Any words of protest to her insomnia died in their throats. It was Genjuro who spoke first in astonishment at the fear. “How so?”

“The neural interface of the _Shénshòujìng_ is the Direct Feedback System. This is the core of the relic’s function. With it, you can directly implant images and information directly into the brain of the user, even installing “programs” to perfectly simulate battle scenarios the user had never been involved in.” She continued around the workstation as she spoke. “While this has its applications, the biggest downside is the Direct Feedback System, and by extension the user themselves is controlled by a third party.” She seemed to rifle through other pieces of paper as she went on.

Her words hit home to Genjuro. This horrid Direct Feedback System had put Hibiki and Miku into a fight to the death thanks to the influence of Doctor Vercingetorix. What was most shocking, was how his own father managed to successfully use this to bind Shem-Ha to his will. Had it not been for the rebellion of Noble Red, his father would have obtained a power that could eclipse the heavens.

“However!” Elfnein said, now taking out a picture of Carol’s castle. “It was during my examination of this that I had my breakthrough. The _Château de Tiffauges_ was constructed with the hybrid of the pinnacles of alchemical fortification and powerful relics. It was by this power that it was able to to be a World Deconstructor.” The young alchemist took in a deep breath, each word coming out a mile a minute.

“While this was the primary function of the _Château de Tiffauges,_ it also had defensive measures in play. When Maria, Kirika, and Shirabe-san destroyed Garie and Micha with the power granted to them by _Dáinsleif_ , it was done so with a power granted from pain.” Another photo of the dark sword was put onto the chalkboard. “The _Dáinsleif_ is itself a curse that amplifies the darkness within the user’s heart, granting them great and terrible power born out of that artificial rampage. Carol used the information recorded by the Autoscorers to construct defensive measures based on the pain that lurked in the hearts of the three.”

“That’s why when they infiltrated the _Château de Tiffauges…”_ Genjuro began, following Elfnein’s line of thinking. “Their desire to atone was confronted by the ghosts of their past.”

“Exactly. A deliberate countermeasure against anyone attempting to break into the _Château de Tiffauges._ ” Elfnein said, seeming to almost bounce in her shoes. “It would reflect that which had been recorded, like that of-”

Genjuro put it together. “A mirror!” He exclaimed.

“Yes!” Elfnein cheered. “And unlike the Direct Feedback System, this does not require input from a third party. Using the same basic design principle that is in the defense systems, I can construct a neural interface that bypasses the need for a third party!”

“Meaning you can complete Miku-san’s Symphogear!” Fujitaka said estactically. 

“Meaning she won’t have to be subject to that thing anymore!” Tomosato said in jubilation.

It was funny. He should have been happy. He should have been delighted. He should have been over the moon over the fact that they had found a way to finally bypass this infuriating system that had kept Miku behind the other Gears in power for so long.

And yet.

_“Callous. You assume I have no soul?"_

He felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach.

“With this, Miku’s neural defense system will actually surpass the other wielders! She won’t be vulnerable to tricks of the mind, or someone attempting to hack her Gear!” Elfnein smiled a very tired smile, her words chilling Genjuro to the bone. “If somebody tried to stop her, they wouldn’t stand a chance!”

~!~

**“Who do I have to kill?”**

_“That’s up to you sweetness.”_

~!~

“...And thus, this event occurs during the final evolutionary stage of a massive star. A white dwarf on the path of a runaway nuclear fusion also produces what we call a Supernova.”

The kaleidoscope of colors on the projector drew Miku in like a moth to the flame. The beautiful array of stardust and nebulae made for a breathless painting in the vacuum of space. She wanted to dip her hand into the picture, and feel the gases and electrons on her fingertips, whirling them around the galaxies. She could paint with the stars, the cosmos as her canvas, and matter her paintbrush. She would fill the vast voids between galaxies with her art, her creations, the fruits of her labors connecting that which is light-years apart.

She should be that which bridged the gap.

She _could_ be that which bridged the gap.

She _would_ be that which bridged the gap.

And then the lights of the room returned, and she blinked in confusion. The muse that had been displayed on the board was now robbed from her, as her fellow students began to collect their things.

“Kohinata-san?” 

That voice. She knew it. Terashima Shiori. A friend. A good friend.

“Are you feeling okay?” The blonde asked in a motherly tone of voice. Her hand felt warm and comforting on her shoulder, warm brown eyes looking at her with pools of concern.

“Yes…” Miku shook the dizzying images of the cosmos out of her head. “I’m sorry, I just…” Her words failed to come to her. Not from an inability to express what she was feeling, but because the language to express it did not exist.

“You appeared enraptured in the lesson.” Shiori said with a teasing tone to mask her anxiety. “I don’t think I have ever seen you look at something so intensely that wasn’t Tachibana.”

“Yeah…” Miku said, feeling a weight form in the pit of her stomach. “I think I need some fresh air.” She gasped when she felt her chair be pulled out from the desk, a light touch just under her armpit as she felt Shiori help her stand. Her legs were two pillars made of electric needles, shaking as if they were under the stress of a great weight.

“You’re trembling.” She said seriously. “Have you eaten today?”

She was right. She was trembling. She was shaking like an electrified cat on top of a dryer. But her legs were not numb. She could feel all the way from her pelvis down to each individual toe. She could even wiggle them! And that’s what was so overwhelming. This energy was like what she’d have back in middle school, hours before she was due to race, or back in the year before, when Hibiki would want to get in the bath. This dangerous, _reckless_ energy was addictive. It was like she could leap over a mountain with a single hop, or power a whole city just by hooking up a generator to her treadmill. She’d get these bouts before but this was something else entirely. It was like she had to do… _something!_ Anything! 

All this excitable energy was making her manic.

Hell, it was making her downright _giddy_.

“Kohinata-san, you’re concerning me.” Fear; the warmth in the words spoken was polluted by the perception of danger. The girl’s eyes searched her own, confusion clouding them, as if she was seeing something for the first time. “Your eyes…” Her words trailed off. This girl was incredibly concerned about someone quite dear to her.

This girl.

Shiori!

Miku shook her head fiercely, smacking both sides of her face as if trying to wake up. “Ah! Gosh I’m sorry Shiroi-san.” The feeling of something holding her was there, and she realized that her friend had a hand around her shoulder and under her arm. 

“Kohinata-san…” Shiori’s sharp eyes raked over her features again, and she could not help but feel a bead of sweat begin to trickle down the back of her neck. Whatever she was looking for, she didn’t seem to find it, instead just remarking. “Are you feeling ill?”

“No, no I just...” Miku tried to find a way to explain it. “I think I just...” She looked at her hands, and found them full of cold sweat. “I’m gonna go wash my face.”

“Say no more.” Shiori said serenely. She wrapped Miku’s arms in hers and led her to the bathroom. Thankfully this was their last class, which meant that soon she’d be able to see Hibiki once she was done with her workout.

Cupping her hands under the sink’s water she splashed it on her face and by the gods did it help. Even when she felt some slip down the front of her shirt making her do a little wiggle dance, she felt immediately refreshed and clear headed.

“I don’t know what came over me.” Miku said bashfully. “I guess I really do need sleep.” She got out her make up kit and started to touch up where the water had messed it up. 

In the reflection, Shiori could not stop staring at Miku’s face. The blonde’s face was inquisitive, as if she was trying to figure out a particular difficult math problem. “Kohinata-san, has anyone ever told you have really pretty eyes?” She said in a voice that was warm like honey.

It made Miku blush.

“Oh!” Miku chirped. “Thank you Shiori-san.” She started to fix her eyeshadow, careful not to poke herself in the eye. “What brought that on?”

Shiori just smiled, standing next to her and starting to adjust her own makeup. It always blew Miku away just how Shiori contrasted compared to her roommates. Shiori was incredibly clean, pretty, and presentable, always speaking with deceptive sincerity. Sincere enough to trick a batshit crazy ice doll from killing them all when Hibiki lost her voice. Miku had to wonder if anything actually got to the blonde or not, outside of her roommates always leaving the cleaning to her that is.  
  
“I just happened to notice that under certain lights your eyes change color.” Shiori said simply. “It’s very pretty.” She turned and smiled at her with the most sincere smile in all the world.

It was a nice smile.

“I hate my eyes.” Miku whispered to her reflection. “All they do is lie.” The way her reflection looked back at her pissed her off. The eyes that Hibiki said she loved so much were just the perfect cover for an inconsiderate little murdering bitch who was so bad at talking about her emotions she almost caused the end of the world.

Twice. 

“Sometimes we have to lie to protect the ones we love.” Shiroi said as she resumed touching up her makeup. “Sometimes we do it to protect ourselves.” Finishing up her eyeliner she turned to her once more, warm pools of concern staring into Miku’s soul. “I wish yours weren't so sad.”

“Thank you Shiori-san, but I’m not sad.” Miku said. “Oh! I just remembered I should give you the manga I borrowed from Yumi-san.” She opened up her purse and found her hands were shaking as she rifled through it, finally finding it after what felt like far longer than it was. “Here you go, tell Yumi-san thank you. It was very entertaining.” She said holding the book out to the blonde, who simply stood there upright with her hands folded.

It was surreal, she was like a statue, staring at her with such warm intensity that she started to sweat. “I’m not sad.” She repeated it, the never wavering smile on the blonde’s face infuriating her to no end.

“Okay.” Shiori said without the slightest hint of a challenge in her voice. It pissed her off.

“I know you’re trying to help Shiori-san, and I appreciate your concern, but please. Don’t worry about me.” She stressed this point as much as she could. “I’m doing good. I have Hibiki, I have my school. I’m not sad.”

“I believe you.”

_Bitch._

“I’m _not_ sad.” Miku insisted, turning to glare at the girl. “I’m _tired._ I have barely gotten any sleep in weeks, I still haven’t told my parents about Hibiki, and everyone is treating me like I am some kind of Christmas ornament. ‘Be careful with Miku! She might break if you so much as look at her to hard!’” She seethed, feeling angry enough that she wanted to rip the sink out of the wall and throw it at the first person she saw.

“My family doesn't celebrate Christmas.” Shiori said bluntly.

Miku turned to look at her, the blond giving the slightest of head tilts at her. In that moment, Miku realized she was gripping the sink in a death grip, talking about Christmas ornaments, with manga and makeup strewn about the bathroom of their school. It was a rather absurd sight to behold.

“You see right through me.” Miku said, now smiling to herself, staring into the drain of the sink.

“I wasn’t lying Kohinata-san.” Shiori said gently, reaching around her and helping her put her makeup back in her bag. “I don’t think you’re sad, I think you’re depressed.” The aura of warmth coming from her was almost overwhelming, and Miku was astonished at how beautiful her perfume smelled.

“What’s the difference?” Miku started, gasping when she felt Shiori’s arms wrap around her in a hug. It was so sudden, so unexpected, it made her stomach do a somersault. In an instant, it felt like all the pressure that was slowly but steadily filling her to the brim would threaten to burst out like an exploding dam. For a fleeting instant, she welcomed it, before catching herself at the last second, keeping the cracks in the dam to just cracks. 

There would be no flooding today.

Placing a trembling hand on Shiori’s, she slowly wormed out of the hug, keeping a hold of the girl's hand and smiling at her. “I appreci-”

“‘-ate your concern?’” Shiori finished for her, cocking an eyebrow. “You’re reusing lies again Kohinata-san.” Her voice wavered for a moment, as if she realized that she was taking a gamble being so direct. 

“I have no reason to be depressed Shiori-san.” She said in a kind, but stern tone. “Please don’t call me a liar.” Miku, the liar requested.

“Miku.” Shiori said in a scolding tone. “Who told you that? Was it her?” She demanded, pointing at her reflection.

Miku felt a knot start to form in her throat.

“You’ve been dealing with so much over the last few years.” Her words were comforting, like sweet honey, but it was the last thing she wanted to hear. “With all the craziness Tachibana-san gets up too on a regular basis. Be it the Noise, or those weird dolls, or that monster that tried to take over the world.” Both of her hands were on her shoulders now, holding her steadily. “It’s catching up with you. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to be depressed, Miku.”

_Depressed._

She talked like Miku didn’t know what depression was. 

Insulting.

Of course she fucking knew what depression was.

Depression was when nobody would walk to school with you. Depression was not eating all day because you couldn’t justify wasting what precious little food your family had feeding yourself. Depression was your dad flying into a drunken rage and hitting you because your friend is a worthless cunt. Depression was sitting alone on the kitchen floor because you messed up making Christmas dinner. Depression was being pushed down the stairs at school and never coming back to school except for tests. Depression was sitting in your room for months on end listening to the same four CDs over and over again. Depression was when you had to leave town and attend school with the piece of shit who ruined your life. Depression was killing yourself everyday to prove to the world you deserved to live. 

Depression was being in love with Kohinata Miku.

_That monster…_

“You don’t have to do this all by yourself Miku, you can ask for help.” She brought it in for a hug, but the monster was numb to everything now.

“Please stop.” The monster said the words against the girl who was just trying to help. “I know you’re just trying to help, but please.” The monster wasn’t sure when its tears thought they could sneak into the corners of its eyes, but it was determined to not let them fall.

“Miku…” She whispered as the monster pulled away, hair covering its face. 

“I’m not a liar.” The monster that lies said. “I _am_ tired. I’ll be back to normal in no time, don’t you worry.” The monster said, keeping its hair in front of its face so the girl would not notice the crocodile tears.

“Okay Miku.” The girl gave in, perhaps she realized the true nature of this monster? “I hope you’re able to get some sleep at the very least.”

“I’m going to head home.” The monster said, grabbing it’s purse off the counter, and discreetly rubbing the tears out of its eyes. “Thanks again for worrying, but I promise, I’m not sad.”

“I know you’re not sad Miku.” Shiori said, disagreeing with the monster on a fundamental level. 

But there would be no compromise.

The monster would have the last word.

So before it departed out the bathroom, it turned to her, with a smile as bright as the sunshine. “It’s alright.” The monster said, it’s ruby eyes beaming. “Everything is just fine.”

~!~

**“It doesn't matter which one?”**

_“I certainly have my preferences. But I will repay you in kind no matter which you pick.”_

~!~

Hibiki reached the outdoor shopping center with energy to spare. Though the workers had already taken down their holiday decorations, the center was still a place of festive joy, thanks in no part to the wonderful atmosphere, and her personal favorite, the giant ferris wheel. In an odd way, it was the place of her and Miku’s very first date.

Just thinking about her was a drain on Hibiki’s energy. The night before had been one of the worst ones yet. She almost missed it, the way the night terror seemed to creep up just oh so suddenly like a thief in the night. Normally it would be Miku thrashing around in terror, or letting out sobs of self hatred, but not this time. This time she just stared straight up at the ceiling. Tears were pouring from her eyes silently, and even with her eyes open, there was no one home.

They were running out of hot chocolate.

Hibiki put her head between her legs and groaned to herself. She felt horrible about it, but a secret part of her was growing to appreciate the times she wasn’t with Miku. Never in all the years knowing her had she ever known this feeling before, but she was finding it difficult to come up with new things of comfort to say. Worst of all was how many of her words seemed to fall on deaf ears. It broke her heart to see her like that. But all it did was reinforce how powerless she felt.

She stared up and down her hand in interrogation. The gentle fist that Miku loved so much. What good was it for, when she was so vulnerable to her own mind?

_I’ll kill her._

Those words that Miku spoke in the diner that day. The day when all she could think about was what if she was in Chris’s position. It made her chest tighten with anxiety. Thinking back to that day, it felt like it was years ago, but even now, just the mere concept made her want to curl into a ball. She couldn’t even begin to think about putting herself in that position again. Especially given how long it took Miku to get her out of it.

_Pay me back any day of the week._

Hibki clenched her first in determination. She wasn’t sure what she had to do to help Miku sleep better, but she’d stay by her side no matter what. They were Hibiki and Miku, and no matter what they were going to be together.

Forever.

Spring in her step, she felt like running again when a familiar face caught her eye. It was Yumi, huddled in an oversized coat peering into the manga store, before going inside with a great deal of trepidation. 

“Huh.” Hibiki thought out loud and followed her inside the store.

She’d never been inside _Satellite Manga_ before, but she was astonished by the rows and rows of various shelves just lined to the brim with all sorts of collections. She really had no idea what most of these were, but she did find Yumi, staring at a particular shelf. The manga was quite colorful, almost obnoxiously pink, with several different magical girls on it looking determined. 

“Ooooh, what’s that one about!” Hibiki said unintentionally right next to a startled Yumi.

“Ah!” She looked over, seeing her friend and breathing a sigh of relief. “Hibiki-chan!” She clutched her hand to her chest. “You scared me half to death!” She looked flushed, and more bizarrely, incredibly embarrassed. 

“Aha, sorry Yumi-chan.” Hibiki said, scratching the back of her head. “This one looks pretty though! What’s it about?” She reached up, picking it off the shelf.

Yumi’s eyes seemed to be glued to the cover of it, but not in that of excitement or anticipation, but in that of shame. It gave Hibiki pause, it was a look so alien to Yumi, she wondered if she had ever seen it on the girl’s face before.

“It’s about hope.” Yumi muttered to herself. “It’s about how courage and love will always win in the end.” Tears welled up in the girl’s eyes, “I always...loved stories like that.” She said, before turning away from her and walking quickly out the door in a huff.

“Yumi-chan!” Hibiki cried out, quickly putting the manga back and following her out of the store. She’d only gotten as far as the bench next to the water fountain, wiping away frustratingly at her tears. “Yumi-chan…” She approached, hand trembling ever so slightly. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s the last one!” Yumi exclaimed. “The final one! Ever!” She wiped her nose, looking ready to have a nervous breakdown. “And I can’t get it.”

“Why can’t you?” Hibki said, sitting down next to her. “They have plenty in stock! There was a whole shelf of them.”

Yumi was staring at the ground now, positively trembling in the cold January weather. “I can’t be that selfish.” She said it with a bitterness that felt so unlike the girl she knew.

“You know Miku says being selfish isn’t a bad thing!” Hibiki said, resting her hand on the girl’s back. “Sometimes it’s good to think for yourself!”

“Well I can’t exactly do that!” Yumi shouted in her face, making her jump back. Regret instantly filled her eyes and she shook her head. “I’m sorry Hibiki-chan. I’m not angry at you, I promise I’m just...” She gestured helplessly towards the store. “This was one of the only things I have had to look forward to this year and…” The words died in her throat.

Hibiki felt on the edge of grasping something, and all of a sudden things made sense. “Yumi-chan, are you eating okay?”

She didn’t meet her gaze, instead just looking at the store. “Kuriyo and Shiori are helping out. School is too but,” She wiped her nose. “Ever since last year…” She shook her head. “It’s just been really hard.”

Hibiki felt a knot forming in her stomach, but instead of saying anything, just started to rub up and down her back affectionately. “Okay.” Was she pulling a Miku? Was this how she did it?

“Kyoto got hit so hard by those tower things last year.” She said, whispering it now. “There was a fire, and it just...” She wiped her eyes again. “My parents lost everything. All our furniture, all our clothes, all my manga.” The last bit came out like a confession, as if she was ashamed at how much it was affecting her. “The only things I own are things I have here.”

“That’s horrible!” Hibiki said aghast. “Where are your parents living now?” When had this happened? Why was she only finding out about this now?

And that’s when she thought about how often she saw Yumi, Kuriyo, and Shiori. No matter what, the three of them always went out of their way to check up on her and Miku. Even when Hibiki was halfway across the world, they made sure Miku was not alone. They even stood by to cheer on when Hibiki had the biggest singing exam of her life thus far. And despite all of that, she wasn’t certain if she knew anything about what was going on in their lives. 

Had she really abandoned the first three friends she met at _Lydian?_

“They got their disaster relief check.” Yumi said with humiliation. “We’re basically bankrupt, trying to find somewhere to live. There’s just nowhere. So many lost their homes. Mama and Papa said we were always more fortunate than others but…” She blinked away tears. “They were just lying so I wouldn’t worry about money.”

A terrible memory arrested her.

_Her mother. Bills strewn around the kitchen table. An endless list of schools so far and away outside their budget. What could they realistically do? Hibiki knew the answer. And that answer meant that her mom wouldn’t have to worry about bills anymore._

_And she also would never have to go back to school again._

_“Mom…” Hibiki said, bandages from where she was pushed down the school stairs still wrapped around her head. “What if I got a job?”_

“It’s so stupid.” Yumi said, breaking her out of her painful memory. “I’m so stupid for getting upset over this. My dad lost his job and I’m crying over ma-huh?” She looked up at Hibiki charging into the store. “Hibiki?” She questioned the girl who was heading in a straight line.

“One please!” Hibiki said like a drill sergeant. The clerk looked absolutely perplexed by the tone she used, but did so. In a matter of seconds, she was back out the door, where Yumi sat gobsmacked.

“Hibiki you…” The manga was put in her hands before she could even finish her sentence. “You didn’t have to…”

“I always loved stories like that too.” Hibiki said softly. “Right now I’m being selfish. You can read it and show it to me and Miku when you come hang out with us! Bring Shiori and Kuriyo-chan too! She still owes me one!” She said with a wink and a light punch to Yumi’s shoulder as she sat back down.

“Hibiki…” Yumi was too emotional for formalities, looking at the manga like it was a lost treasure. “Thank you.”

“We really have fallen out of touch huh?” Hibiki said, looking down. “Life was pretty crazy for us the last few years.” She took Yumi’s hand in hers. “But that doesn't change the fact that you’re my friend. And I am very happy to be able to say that.”

Yumi blushed as red as a tomato. “You g-guys were s-saving the world! Your life’s like an anime, I g-get that you’ve been-”

“Even if that’s true!” Hibiki said indignantly. “That doesn't mean you're alone.” She sat up, pulling Yumi with her. “Now come on!”

“Where are we going?” Yumi asked incredulously.

“We are gonna get you some hot chocolate.”

~!~

**“And how exactly am I meant to do that? It’s not like they are easy to kill.”**

_“Why do you think I gave you that power?”_

~!~

“Thank you so much.”

“No problemo!” Chris grinned at the man as he went down the line to the next batch of food. The small warm atmosphere of the soup kitchen was a pleasant one at times. Even if it was tucked away under a bridge, away from society’s shameful glares. To call it an unofficial operation was an understatement, but that did nothing to curb Chris’s desire to put as much work as she could into it.

Before it was something she’d do every couple of weeks when they were off duty. But she found herself possessed with a kind of altruistic energy that made her feel shame for her inaction in the past. She had seen the government sponsored ones, and she was far from decrying them, but they did far too little for how much help the people of Tokyo needed.

She wished there were more of her, to spread out all over the place to help as much as was humanly possible. That was when she found out about the unsponsored soup kitchens, and she knew she could do her very best to help others less fortunate than her as much as she could. Even if it just meant helping get them a hot meal that night.

“Oi, break time.” Iwasawa said, walking up behind her. “Don’t be long.” She said, securing her face mask. Nobody was allowed to work sick, but sometimes those they helped could not exactly help being sick and hungry at the same time.

“Yeah…” Chris started but stopped, eyeing a man who walked into the soup kitchen with suspicion. “Break time…” She and the man made eye contact with a fierce stare between them. His eyes bounced over to an empty table in the middle of the room, Chris giving a curt nod in reply. 

Her eyes did not leave him as she made her way around the buffet. He was a tall man with brown hair and a long red coat. She could tell from his gait alone that he was armed, with more than one weapon no less, and with swagger to boot. The look in his eyes was far from hostile, but it was very business like. He could be Yakuza, or even a mercenary, yet Chris had a striking feeling that there was something familiar about him.

Regardless who he was, she had _Ichaival_ , which meant in a fight she won. If she had to blow this sucker's head off and out her identity to protect the people here, she would. Ideally, she’d get him to agree to a duel elsewhere.

Striding over with “try and fuck with me” confidence, she turned her chair around backwards and sat down in it, staring him down. “If you’re gonna start a fight, you ain’t gonna end it.” She stated simply.

“Charming as an anglerfish, how delightful.” The man said as he sat down. 

“My personality is my charm point.” She shot back with a grin. “What’s yours?”

“Would you believe it? It’s also my personality.” He had a confident grin to him. “Apparently it makes me uniquely qualified to be your security detail.”

“Bullshit you're my security detail.” She said immediately.

“Perceptive and smart.” He nodded as if pleased. “Good to know you have enough sense to be suspicious.”

“Ha. You remind me of my ex.” Chris remarked, resting her chin under her knuckles. She was fairly certain this guy was telling the truth, but she didn’t trust that easily.

“Oh? The pedophile?” He inquired, to which she nodded. “I’ll take that compliment. She infiltrated at least two world governments with everyone none the wiser. I can hope to be that smart.” He had both his hands on the table, as if they were discussing tea.

“Alright Mr. Security Detail. Why’re we having this conversation here? Why not at my apartment huh?” She asked, genuinely curious.

“Because this is not something that your other bodyguards are in the loop about.” He said matter of factly. “My name is Ogawa Souji. Here on personal favor of my brother and Commander Kazanari. They are of the opinion that additional security around you all is required, an opinion I happen to share given the circumstances.”

Chris considered that for several moments. “And they decided to keep us in the dark about it?” She said with a raised eyebrow.

“Considering you landed yourself in this situation as a result of bailing on your security detail, I believe the choice was the correct one.” Souji said, without a hint of lasting judgement.

“So you decide the best way to ensure I don’t bail on the security detail I don’t know about is to make sure I know about it so I _can_ bail on it?” She asked with an arched eyebrow.

He smiled at that. “Sharp one aren’t you? Truth is you could not lose me if you tried. More to the point, I’d much rather you know who I am now, then try to convince you of who I am later when the stakes are that of life and death.” He said as if he was explaining the weather.

“Mr. Security Detail, you’re not as dumb as you look, you have that going for you at least.” She leaned back in her chair. “Does senpai know about this?”

“She doesn't. It’s beneficial it stays that way.” He said with what sounded like a voice of bargaining. It was a request.

“I can do that. We’re going to a nightclub tomorrow. That a problem?” She asked, ready to protest.

“We’ll find out.” He said simply, making her give him a curious look. “I won’t promise your protection. Be it in the comfort of your home or in the darkness of a nightclub. What I can promise you is that I will do everything I can, including putting my life at stake to provide you protection. I may fail, I may not.” 

Chris considered him for several minutes. “You weren't kidding, your personality really is your charm point.” She said with a laugh, only now noticing Kioku looking up at her from the table she had just helped at. “Hold on one second.”

Kioku walked over to her, looking concerned. “This punk ass giving you trouble?” She said as if Souji wasn’t even there.

“Nah, he’s just a shitty cosplayer.” Chris said dismissively, which earned an honest laugh from the samurai.

“Well, she’s not.” Kioku said, pointing to a girl in the corner. “I think she’s strung out on something.” Her voice was careful and guarded, and Chris could tell already it may be more serious than she was letting on.

“Lemme talk to her.” Getting up, she was pleased when Souji did not try to stop her. Walking towards the girl, she got a good read of her right away. She had brown, almost auburn hair, an eyepatch, and a caged animal look to her. It was familiar in a way, not just to herself, but to a lot of people here.

She’d help her if she could.

“Hey there, you feeling okay?” She asked sincerely. There was not a hint of edge in her voice, but the girl looked up at her like she had seen a ghost.

“I was just finishing up.” A hoarse voice said, the one eyed girl quickly stood up. Tucking her hands in her pockets, she all but sprinted for the door, the brief whisper of wind poisoning the warm atmosphere.

“She okay?” Kioku asked from behind her.

Chris just shook her head. “I don’t think so. I hope she comes back.” She said staring at the door for a moment, before starting to clean up the table she had sat at. “She looked in a bad way.”

“Yeah no kidding. When I gave her the soup she ate it like she was starving.” Kioku said, grabbing the bowl off the table. “We’re still on for tomorrow right?”

Chris nodded, “Yeah, let me text Hibiki and Miku.” She pulled out her phone, texting the dummy first.

“On a first name basis with them now are we?” Kioku asked with a grin.

“Fuck you.” Chris said pocketing her phone. “Learn how to play the flute and I’ll use your first name.”

“So cruel.” Kioku said, picking up the tray. “But hey I like having a goal to work towards.” She gave her an infuriatingly smug wink. 

Chris fetched her phone out of her pocket, surprised at how quickly the dummy responded. “You mind if some of Miku and Hibiki’s friends join us? It’d be three more of them, plus my senpai.”

Kioku shrugged. “Bring who you want. I’m getting trashed no matter who you bring.”

“You’ve met senpai. She was at the concert.” Chris said as she texted Hibiki back.

“I didn’t meet any of the guests, my dude. I don’t do that scene. Too many celebs.”

“Bad news for you then, my senpai is Kazanari Tsubasa.”

Kioku’s jaw dropped. “You’re full of shit.” Staring at her unblinking face she shook her head. “Really?”

“Yup.”

“Okay, now you have some explaining to do.” Kioku said, dragging Chris off to the table. She was going to enjoy keeping Kioku in the dark until her senpai could meet her herself. But even that delight could not distract her from the double meaning she found in Souji’s words.

_Considering you landed yourself in this situation as a result of bailing on your security detail, I believe the choice was the correct one._

The Old Man and the Ninja wouldn’t keep them in the dark for no reason.

_She doesn't. It’s beneficial it stays that way._

And for Souji to tell her that, the one that was attacked.

_They think it’s one of us._

Her mind raced thinking back to the night of Miku’s lips against hers, and how different they were from the lips the night of _Highton View Terrace._

_It’s not Miku. If not her, who?_

~!~

**“You put this shit in me before I agreed to any of this.”**

_“I don’t deny it. These are desperate times. Desperate measures are called for.”_

~!~

_“Your back is hurting? Lay down, I’ll give you a massage.” Kashiyami said as she took off her teal jacket, hanging it up next to the open door._

_“Thank you Kashiyami-san.” Shirabe said with gratitude._

Shirabe could not get the memory of that encounter out of her head. Had Kashiyami, in giving her a massage done something to her back? The massage had felt heavenly, but now it just felt utterly sinister in hindsight. They had only known this woman for a brief while, could she actually be trusted?

“Please hurry Kiri-chan.” Shirabe whispered from the landing of the stairwell. They had followed Kashiyami to _Lydian’s_ athletic center. Normally she’d be watching Hibiki and Miku but this was part of her recreational break time while other SONG agents took over. She would use the school’s facilities to workout and train, so they planned a heist to get her phone while she was doing so.

_“Is it still hurting?” Kashiyami asked as she helped her sit up._

_“Yeah.” Shirabe confirmed in an insecure tone. She didn't want her to think she was ungrateful for what she did, but the ache in the middle of her back was undeniable._

_“Why don’t you go to Elfnein-san? Have her check you out and make sure nothings wrong. Just wait for Kirika-kun before you go home okay?”_

She kept her gaze trained on the door in front of her. Once Kashiyami was done doing her running she’d go down the stairs to the locker room. Shirabe would have precious few seconds to let Kirika know. Nobody believed them about Finé being back, and if Kashiyami was in on it, they would have to find proof.

“There was a curious incident of a dog in the night time!” A whisper came up the stairway from the locker room. Kirika’s voice.

“The dog did nothing in the night time.” Shirabe whispered their coded message back down, indicating the all clear. Meeting on the middle landing, Kirika had Kashiyami’s teal coat in her hand, and the agent's cell phone out and open.

“Look!” Kirika insisted. She had the phone’s text message conversation history open; specifically, a message sent to Kirika that had been deleted.

_Shirabe’s back is feeling better, but after we return from Chris’s apartment we are going to check in with Elfnein. She is studying right now. NO DISTRACTIONS!_

Holding out her own green phone to contrast, which had no such message. “She deleted mine, but she forgot to delete hers from the trash bin!” Kirika said, hands trembling in anger so much the phones threatened to fall out of her hand.

“Did she do it in the hospital room? In front of everyone?” Shirabe wondered out loud.

“She deleted it on the way to the bathroom. And I bet she managed to do it slyly and also hide the plants just as slyly so Maria didn’t see!” Kirika said, fuming with rage. “She is trying to make both of us look wrong and crazy! She’s trying to discredit us!”

Shirabe nodded. “Send it to yourself, then delete it permanently! We’ll show the Commander when he gets back from his UN thing tomorrow!” She said quickly. “Go put everything back, I’ll keep lookout.”

The sound of a door opening nearly gave them both heart attacks, but it was only from the door Kirika left through as a girl with beige hair came out of the locker room. Nodding to each other, both wielders of Zababa’s weaponry headed up and down the stairs, the beige haired girl stopping to take a call.

Shirabe heard the locker room door shut behind Kirika as she reached the top step, gasping as the stairwell door opened and out came Kashiyami. Her foot on the top step wavered and she could feel herself falling backward, locking eyes with Kashiyami.

“Tsuki-kun!”

Broken out of her stupor, Kashiyami’s hand was a flash as she grabbed Shirabe by the wrist, and kept her from descending down the steep steps. Gulping, her eyes never leaving Kashiyami’s face, she simply nodded at her. 

“Thank you Kashiyami-san.” She muttered quietly. 

“You don’t have class today Shirabe-san. What are you doing here?” It was then the woman looked past Shirabe, at the beige haired girl who had called out Shirabe’s name.

“Good catch!” Kuriyo said, patting Shirabe on the back. “Be careful ‘Tsuki-kun!” She teased good naturedly. “You don’t wanna take a tumble.”

“Ando-senpai.” Shirabe said, happier she’d ever been to see the girl and not be alone with this woman in the stairwell. 

“We certainly would not want that.” Kashiyami said, sounding relieved. “Are you feeling well Shirabe-san?” She asked, putting a motherly hand on her shoulder. It was gentle, yet it still felt to her like a claw.

“I’m fine.” Shirabe said in a neutral tone, glaring back at the woman intensely.

“Is Kirika-san with you?” The woman asked with a smile. It felt like a threat.

“Oh! I just remembered!” Kuriyo said loudly, picking her phone up from where she dropped it. “Sorry ‘Hina! I just ran into Tsuki-kun at the athletics department!” She said as she went back into the locker room from where she left. Shirabe could not help but notice the girl seemed to be going through extra steps to enunciate each word as clearly as possible.

“Why’s it matter?” Shirabe deflected. “She’s not tied to me or anything. Kiri-chan can do what she wants.” Her tone was severe. 

“It was only a question Shirabe.” Kashiyami said, still looking down at her.

The differences between the two were striking. Shirabe was impossibly short, and out of all of the wielders, the least physically capable and imposing. Kashiyami was tall, fit, and she knew for a fact trained to be able to neutralize people in both lethal and nonlethal ways. Something that was very much on her mind because the woman had yet to release the hand on her shoulder.

The locker room door opened again, and Kuriyo’s cheerful voice echoed in the stairway again. “So yeah! Just ask Kawada-kun and she’ll show you where to sign up for fencing, we’d love to have you!” The older girl rounded the corner, with a nervous looking Kirika under her arm.

Even from the top step, Shirabe could hear Kirika’s teeth begin to grind when she saw Kashiyami’s hand on her. “Kashiyami-san!” Kirika said in such a cheerfully high pitched voice it sounded insane. “What brings you here?”

Kashiyami’s hand came off of Shirabe’s shoulder, the woman looking down at the odd display. “My workout routine. Neither of you have school today, what brings you here?”

“Guilty!” Kuriyo said with a peace sign. “I’m the Captain of the fencing team! They have been looking for me all week but we have just been passing ships in the night!” Her voice was so unassuming and earnest it was almost believable. 

“I see.” Was all Kashiyami said, walking past Shirabe with barely a glance. “As you were then.” She passed Kuriyo and Kirika, and without another word went into the locker room the door slamming shut behind her.

“Sheesh!” Kuriyo sighed immediately. “What was that all about?” The older teen asked, looking confused.

“Thank you.” Shirabe said with a bow, before turning to Kirika. “Did you do it?”

Kirika nodded. “Ando-senpai told me something weird was going on.” She mouthed, in case Kashiyami’s ear was pressed against the door. “Let’s gather all our stuff so we can show the Commander tomorrow when he gets back!” 

Grabbing her Moon’s hand, the Dawn raced up the steps and out the door, leaving the Captain of the Fencing team on the steps. “You’re welcome!” She exclaimed before taking her phone back out of her pocket. “Sorry about that again ’Hina, things were just really weird, but yeah I can totally hang out tomorrow!”

~!~

“Enough of your stalling. Whom are you going after?” The woman demanded impatiently.

“Somehow it’s worse if I decide.” Jeanne said, still unwilling to look at the figure lying on her futon in such a lewd manner. It was a crude imitation of her apartment, the burning skies of Tokyo looming above them both. The bright tower of _Kadingir_ was just ever so radiant in the distance. Jeanne now knew the significance of the tower, and exactly who destroyed it and why.

“Your hands will be dirtied from this. You cannot escape that fact.” The blonde woman said with an almost gleeful sneer. “If that truly disturbs you so much, perhaps I can offer you some comfort.” The giddy excitement in her voice was unmistakable.

“I’m not exactly in the mood for sex right now thanks.” Jeanne said, once again looking away from the woman. Walking through the hole in the wall to peer off the impossible cliff that stood over the vastness of space, she began to wonder what would happen if she threw herself off from here.

“You’d die.” The woman she knew as Finé answered her thoughts. “Perhaps I can make this easier for you.” On the plateau that her apartment had merged with, suddenly six different graves emerged in a circle, each with a different name that Jeanne recognized. Each and everyone of them was a _Symphogear_ wielder.

“There’s only six. You’re missing one.”

“I told you sweetness,” Finé said with a casual drawl. “I have my preferences.”

“Narrowing it down by one dosn’t exactly help me pick!” Jeanne said with hatred in her voice. That was when she saw the knife, gleaming in Finé’s hand. The very same knife she had her last day at _Takashi Noodle._ Oh how that felt like a lifetime ago.

“What’s a matter Jeanne? Never play spin the bottle?” Finé said, placing the knife in the center of the circle, before with a casual flick of her finger it began to spin.

And spin and spin and spin and spin.

“I’m sorry Melody. I don’t know if you’ll forgive me.” Jeanne said out loud as the knife began to slow down. “Just please, know that I tried to do anything but this.” She said, feeling a tear slide down her cheek as the knife stopped and she saw who it was. “Fuck.”

“Oh, now that is just _fantastic_.” Finé said with a perverse delight. Smirking at the crying girl, she took her face in her hands, giving her a deep kiss to seal the contract.

“I hate you.” Jeanne sobbed. “I hate you so fucking much.” 

“I know.” Finé gasped in pleasure as she separated from her lips.

Jeanne felt her then, hands and lips all over her body as she felt herself falling back, as if through the cosmos itself.

“ _I hate you!”_ Jeanne shouted to the heavens, landing in her normal futon, in her normal apartment. Not a blonde to be seen.

“Hate me with everything you have.” A voice said from beneath the covers, Jeanne doing her best not to feel a thing. “And use that hate to save your dearest Melody.” She closed her eye, welcoming the dark oblivion. “In the meantime, I’ll make you sing” 

“Don’t hate me Melody please.” Jeanne whispered to any angel or god who might hear. “Oh god please don’t hate me for this.”

“Jeanne…” The voice whispered in her ear, tongue flicking at her earlobe. “You look tired, why don’t you get some sleep?” The chuckle belonged to that of a cat playing with its food. “You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow.” 

Even with her eye closed, she could feel the darkness closing around. The veins moving beneath her skin, the hands roaming her body.

The monster’s voice was universal in her mind.

“So get some rest.”

_I don’t want to kill you._

She was on her bed, but she knew she was falling.

“Sleep tight.”

_I’m so sorry._

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

_But this is the only way._

“And most of all Jeanne, just make sure that you…”

She was falling…

Falling…

Falling…

“Never forgive. Never forget. Never let go of the hate in your heart.”

Falling…

Falling…

Down the Steeper Steps of Slumber.

“Sweetdreams.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please gimme and and all feedback as you so wish, the next chapter is titled "Thin Ice"


	12. Thin Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey kids, let's have some fun ;)

The sounds of birds singing woke her out of her steep slumber. Eyes straining against the daylight as it poured into the room, Jeanne groaned, pulling the covers over her face to block out the summer morning's bright light. She had gotten to sleep at just the right time last night, and by jolly she was gonna enjoy it.

“Five minute warning ‘sis!” Melody called from outside her bedroom door.

Jeanne gave wimpy little kicks under the bedsheet in protest at having to leave the lovely soft comfort of her bed. It was a massive king sized bed, with more pillows than any human being should have. The comforter was like the world's greatest hug that could ever exist, and just thinking about it too much was liable to make you sleepy. 

Despite how much she wanted to do anything but, she slowly unfolded herself from beneath the covers, sitting up and stretching her arms to the sky. Slipping a white shirt on, she opened her window fully, breathing in the wonderful fragrances from the fields that stretched outside their home. How lucky were they to have this wonderful secluded part of the French countryside, a lovely little nest not too far from Marseille, but just close enough to get there without any trouble whatsoever.

“Two minute warning!” Melody called again.

She always was the better cook out of the two of them. Even now she could smell the lovely fumes of whatever she was creating drifting up and overwhelming her senses. It physically pained her stomach to smell the perfect meal down below and not be able to eat it at right this second. Oh, what a lovely problem to have.

Putting on skin tight jeans, she checked herself in the mirror. Her lovely skin was as flawless as it had always been, her arms beautiful and strong, her hair fluffy and without a split end in sight. Her two brown eyes were cause for many a person to try and pick her up by referencing the song, and everytime it just tickled her to death. Grabbing her precious red ribbon off the table, she tied her hair back like she always did, gave her reflection a kiss, and walked out the door.

The steps of her home really were quite steep.

“Good morning sleepy head!” Melody said cheerfully. Bouncing on the heels of her feet, the girl platted the dinner table with croque madame, made in exactly the way that Jeanne loved most. 

“Wow, that smells delicious.” Jeanne said, taking time to truly appreciate her sister. She was growing into just the most beautiful woman possible, with long auburn hair and the most precious smile you ever could see.

“It’s your favorite!” Melody said delightfully. “Now sit! Eat up! You got a big day ahead of you!” She said in a faux scolding manner.

“How did a big sister like me end up with such a great little munchkin like you?” Jeanne said rhetorically, her voice full of love. Biting into the croque madame was nothing short of orgasmic. The flavors just seemed to fill her mouth, and if she was not careful she’d drool just from how overwhelming the taste was on a fundamental level.

Melody just grinned, putting her hands on her hips. “You got lucky! After all I am the best sister anyone could have.” She said with a smug little grin.

“You should have your own cooking show.” Jeanne laughed, wiping her mouth clean. 

“Why’s that funny?” Melody said seriously, a pout on her lips.

“It’s not a joke!” Jeanne insisted immediately, before catching the smirk lingering on her sister’s lips. “Oh you little devil!”

“Ahehe!” Melody playfully dodged the napkin Jeanne threw her way. “Too slow!”

“I’ll get you soon!” Jeanne said, pointing her finger at her certainly not dead sister.

“I know you will sis.” Melody said, her voice losing the lovely mischief in it. “But first you have a job to do. You know that.” Getting up from the table, her little ball of sunshine walked to the kitchen, pulling out a kitchen knife she had left buried in the snow in an alley full of regrets.

“Yeah I know.” Jeanne said solemnly. 

Melody approached with the knife, laying it on the table in front of her. “It’s just a matter of time sis. And we’ll have our own home, our own fields, and my own cooking show!” She gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I believe in you.”

Jeanne stared at the one eyed orphan in the reflection of the knife, wondering just how she was gonna kill that girl. “Is it truly the right thing? To kill someone, to get you back?” She whispered, looking at her most precious ball of sunshine in the whole world.

“Never forgive.” Melody whispered, staring into her soul.

“Never forget.” Jeanne whispered to herself, sitting up in bed. In her shitty futon. In her shitty apartment. In her shitty life. The rank stank of piss, sweat and cigarette smoke was just as familiar as the hustle and bustle of the city just outside her shitty apartment's shitty window.

“Never forget the hate in your heart.” She whispered the demon’s words back to herself now.

Today was the day.

There was no sunshine pouring in her window, just the foggy overcast of the late morning. In lieu of snow, the weather gods had decided to bless Tokyo with a torrent of rain to blanket the city in a nice covering of slush. 

Shitty weather for a shitty day.

The light through the slits in the window barely kissed her nude body. Would she come back here after the deed was done? Would the demon give her a way out if things went south? 

_Only one way to find out._

The light bounced off of something shiny on the floor. Something lay just under the shitty Christmas tree she and Melody had gotten all those years ago. It had caught her eye, and as she bent down to pick it up, she knew exactly what it was.

That fucking knife.

With her precious hair ribbon wrapped around it, like a bow. It was like a gift. With even a little note card attached. It wasn’t the only gift under the tree.

_Do your best._

Staring at her reflection in the blade, Jeanne spoke her target's name out loud for the first time. Saying it in the middle of the room seemed to make it real. Really real for the first time. This was actually happening.

“I’m sorry.” She said to her reflection, thinking on the name of her victim to be. “But I have to kill you.”

~!~

“Miku-chan, you are absolutely going to kill it!” Yumi cheered in delight as they laid out the clothes for her.

“I hope you’re right.” Miku said somewhat nervously.

“Go try it on!” Shiori said enthusiastically.

~!~

Jeanne tried on the outfit left under the tree. Sports bra and yoga pants, with a mesh shirt that was smooth to the touch. Feeling it brought an aura of familiarity to her to a time in an orphanage forgotten and hidden from the world. An orphanage where she was taught to fight. Where she was taught to stab. To shoot. To kill. 

They had clothes like this there. A shirt that was made to look comfortable and unassuming, but more than capable of stopping a knife, its fabric laced with an experimental material that used sharksuits as a basis. 

~!~

Miku put the black sweater on, careful not to mess up her hair. It was form fitting, almost too tight for her liking, with sleeves that reached down to her wrists. It was a simple, sleek design, that had the lightest of sparkles woven into the fabric. She could just imagine how beautiful this would look in the nightclub, and she couldn’t help but wonder what Hibiki would think when she saw her in it.

The skirt was a lovely crimson that went down to her knees, along with black thigh highs that would help protect her from any wandering cameras or wardrobe malfunctions. She really had never really gone out before, but she could not help herself, she was starting to feel excited about it.

~!~

Excitement ran through her as she zipped up the fitness jacket over the bulletproof vest. Jeanne could feel herself physically shaking with energy as the prospect of the reality of the mission began to take firm grasp over her. Her tactical cargo pants slipped on like a glove, as if they were specially fitted just for her. But what she loved most were the boots.

Sleek and professional, she could feel her ego surge just by wearing them. It was a wild feeling, as if the simple earth itself would submit to her just from her strutting across the room like she owned the place. Wearing these boots? She might as well own the place.

~!~

“Hey Yuki!” Kuriyo said with exuberance as Yumi opened the door for Chris to walk through. “You look great!” The tomboy said admiring Chris’s outfit, making the ball of fluff blush like mad.

“Maria picked it out!” Chris said defensively, though she wasn’t sure why. She had a short leather jacket on, with a crimson red top underneath that hugged her figure well. The jean shorts and fishnet leggings were the last thing that she ever expected to be wearing out to a club. The kicker were the boots Maria let her borrow. With them she had a “don’t fuck with me” stride mastered to absolute perfection.

“You look great!” Shiori said affectionately. “Now Yumi come here, I have to fix your hair.”

~!~

She took the scrunchy out of her hair and let her mane of brunette hair fall all around her like it was an ocean. Split ends for days, countless dead hairs, and endless knots, it reached down to her ass like she was Rapunzel. Melody always told her just how much she loved her hair, and how she wanted to grow her own hair out to be as long as that someday.

Gripping the butcher knife carefully, she gripped her hair back in a vice like grip. It took a single glance at the picture of who she used to be before she began to hack away at her mane. The hair started to fly, as she sawed through her hair like a farmer cut down corn. It wasn’t long before there was more hair on the ground than on her head, and she could easily pass for a boy with how short her hair was. Short. Simple. Mangled.

She barely recognized herself.

~!~

She could tell she barely recognized her.

She hadn’t heard Chris come in but she could only hope to replicate the awestruck look on the girl's face with Hibiki “It’s rude to stare Chris.” She said with a good natured wink, making the girl go as red as a tomato. 

“I wasn’t staring!” Chris said indignantly flailing her arms

“Why not? ‘Hina looks hot!” Kuriyo said, jumping off from the top bunk bed of the trio’s apartment. “Hey ‘Hina can you help me with my eyeshadow?”

~!~

She stared at herself in the mirror for a long time. She wasn’t stupid. Her hair wasn’t just shorter, her outfit wasn’t just tougher, no, she had changed. Whatever Finé had done to her to make that plant shit go into her had changed her. She could breathe easier. She could chew food easier. Her long neglected muscles were more significant. It was like she had been hitting the gym everyday for the last two years, instead of coke lines in her own apartment. Even her tits were firmer.

It was like whatever Finé had put into her was fusing with her. Healing her. And most of all, making her stronger.

Much stronger.

Still.

She had to check.

She ripped off her eyepatch, throwing it to the ground to lay with her hair. The horrible black scar went from the end of her temple right over her full eye, a horrible zig zag of scars that destroyed her sight. The cost of escaping a towering inferno in the dead of night, a fiery piece of wood nailing her right in the face. She was lucky to be alive. But was she really?

Forcing her eyelid open with both hands, she stared back at the glass eye that she had fallen asleep with. She’d heard from the back alley surgeon she got it from just how dangerous it could be to do so for extended periods, and like so much advice she had gotten in life, she ignored it.

_Do your best._

She wouldn’t ignore Finé’s advice.

~!~

“Don’t be nervous. Yukine-san has excellent advice.” Shiori said with delight.

“Like I told you, if you need to get through a cloud, don’t walk. March.” Chris said, letting the loud noise of her platform boots echo in the apartment. Almost instinctively, Miku felt compelled to move just from the sheer raw bravado the stride seemed to radiate. It made her giggle just a little bit.

“It’s nice to see you doing better.” Shiori said in her ear while the other three were busy adjusting Kuriyo’s jacket.

“I’m glad to hang out with you all again.” Miku said honestly, trying to dodge Shiori’s invasive nature. Still, she smiled at her sincerely, only to be distracted by the piece of jewelry she saw on the dresser. “May I see that?”

“Oh?” Shiori said, walking over and picking it up. Miku could not take her eyes off of it no matter what. It seemed to compel her in some way. “I let Yumi borrow this for a cosplay, I think it’d go great with your outfit.” She said, handing it over.

~!~

On different sides of Tokyo, two very different girls approached two very different mirrors.

One had on steel toed boots, a bullet proof vest and a shirt that could stop knives. Her hair was short and ragged, doing nothing to hide the huge scar that made one of her eyes useless. In her hand was a large chef’s butcher knife, almost as long as her forearm. It was sharp enough to cut through flesh, bone, even steel.

One had on a black form fitting sweater that shone like the night sky with the stars above. Her skirt as crimson as blood, with thigh high stockings to emphasize her long legs. On her hand was a golden bracelet that had an arm bangle attached to it. Slipping it onto her right wrist felt almost perversely comforting.

Both girls' fingers traced the metal, nostalgic, as if reuniting with an old friend. 

In the reflection, one noticed the tendril that moved beneath her skin, up her neck and down her back. But she wasn’t afraid of it. 

Not anymore.

The other didn’t notice the way her eyes, for just a moment, maybe due to a trick of the light, flashed ruby. 

But if she had noticed she would have been very afraid indeed.

“Let’s go.” They both said.

And off they went.

~!~

_“It’s okay.” The oldest sister said to the youngest, rubbing the back of her wrist where the welt was propping up. “Owie owie bye bye.” She gave a kiss to her wrist. “Owie owie bye bye.” She gave a kiss again. “Owie owie bye bye.” She gave it another kiss, and all the pain that there had ever been was gone._

_The younger sister gave her sibling a big kiss on the cheek. “You’re the best big sister.” She said, hopping off the cold metal platform they used for a bed._

_“Magic spells will make anything go away!” The eldest said with a smile, but followed her sister’s sudden interest across the room._

_Just across the way were two girls, much like them. They had to be sisters as well, Maria could just tell by the way the older one was fussing over the younger one. Even from this far away she could tell the horrible welt that was swelling up on the younger sister’s arm._

_“‘Maria!” Serena said loudly. “Go cast your magic spell again!” She said clutching her stuffed Albert close. Its puffy cheeks seemed to puff out even more as she walked behind her big sis, nervous but eager to help._

_The older sister seemed to sense their approach, looking up at two and standing protectively in front of her younger sibling. “Please go away.”_

_The immediate rejection stunned Maria, “Oh…”_

_“Maria knows a magic spell!” Serena said, rushing out from behind Maria and running to the younger girl. “It’ll make it all better!” She said grabbing the younger girl’s hand and pulling her along, all but ignoring the eldest._

_“Hey!” The older brunette shouted._

_“Serena!” Maria said, just as shocked, blushing slightly as her sister presented the young girl’s arm before her._

_“Cast your magic spell Maria!” Serena demanded impatiently. Gripping Albert by the collar, she held the plush up to Maria’s face, speaking in his voice. “Do it! Help the little girl!” She said in her most adorable chipmunk voice._

_Maria smiled bashfully for a moment, before placing a kiss to the bruise. “Owie owie bye bye.” Keeping one eye on the older sister, she did it again. “Owie owie bye bye.” She looked at the little sister now and smiled at her, giving one last kiss to the bruise. “Owie owie bye bye.”_

_“All better!” Serena cheered. “Maria’s magic!” She said standing next to her sister once more._

_“Look Jeanne! She fixed it!” The little sister said, wrapping her hand under the girl’s wrist, who just smiled at the Eve sisters._

_“My name is Jeanne. This is Melody.” She said in a voice older than she was._

_“Maria. This is Serena.” The pinkette indicated with a slightly tired nod to her exuberant little sister._

_“Nice to meet you!” Serena said, hugging Albert tight as the sound of a picture being taken filled the room._

_“Oh would you look at this! How precious!” Dr. Sakurai said, putting her phone away and fawning over them. “Is it love at first sight? And between sisters no less?”_

_All smiles dropped from the girl’s faces, all trying to look anywhere but at the malicious doctor. “Oh don’t let me sour your moods! Seeing the love between you young girls is amazing!” She said with a cheer, reaching down and pinching both Serena and Melody’s cheeks._

_“Stop it!” Jeanne barely got the word out of her mouth before the back of Dr. Sakurai’s hand struck her across the face, sending her to the ground._

_“Temper temper!” Dr. Sakurai chastised with a wink. “It’s such a shame Nastassja picked you two.” She said as she looked over the Eve sisters. “You two look good enough to eat.” She smiled at all four of them, even as Jeanne glared daggers at her from teary eyes on the ground. “At least I got you two.” She winked at the Condamnée sisters, turning her back and walking away._

_“What did she mean, got us?” Melody asked with a gulp,_ as Tsubasa shook her awake.

~!~

“Maria!”

Maria shot up so fast she nearly headbutted her girlfriend. There was a thunderous orchestra pounding in her ears that sounded just like her heartbeat, and a cold sweat made her sticky with anxiety. Her clothes seemed to cling to her like a second skin and it took her a minute to realize the panting she was hearing was her own.

“Hey.” There was a gentle hand on her shoulder and it sent a shiver throughout her body that made her want to melt. It was like she had been in the frying pan and went right into a nice relaxing bath instead of the fire. A soothing balm radiated from the simple touch all over her, and already she could feel her panic subsiding.

Looking up from her own white knuckles, she saw the most beautiful girl in all the world. “You’re awake.” Tsubasa said reassuredly. Raising the hand on her shoulder to gently tuft a hair behind her ear, Tsubasa stroked her cheek ever so gently. “Bad dream?”

Maria nodded into the hand against her cheek. But even as assuredly as she felt her girlfriend’s fingertips across her face, the lingering uncertainty of reality teased at her mind. She could not help but stare into those beautiful eyes and wonder if it was real, wonder if it was fake, wonder if it was just a dream within a dream.

“Come here,” She breathed out desperately. Clutching the back of her girlfriend's head, her lips desperately found hers, pushing Tsubasa onto her back as she moaned into the kiss.

Despite the shock, there was no delay from Tsubasa who returned the affection with just as much urgency and passion. Oh how Maria had missed the feeling of Tsubasa’s hands running up and down her back, the way her hand would grip at her hair just a little bit too roughly. It was enough to make a girl go crazy.

But the lingering guilt was not something that was just in Maria’s belly, as her hand drifted up Tsubasa’s shirt they both stopped, noses touching. Dimly both looked up, looking guiltily at the shrine of the Yukine family they had promised not to fuck in front of. Unable to restrain themselves, they both broke into nervous giggles, Maria resting her head against Tsubasa’s chest, letting the girl’s erratic heartbeat soothe her own.

“Sorry, I was just…” Maria started, but could only purr when she felt hands begin to stroke the back of her head.

“You certainly do not have to apologize for that.” Tsubasa said with the hint of satisfaction in her voice. “Are you feeling better?” 

“Mhmm.” Maria said, more than ready to fall asleep to the head scratches. “Just a very vivid dream. Like a memory of long ago.” She didn’t want to get up from the glorious bed that was Tsubasa.

“FIS?” Tsubasa offered. “Or before?”

“FIS.” Maria said, reluctantly getting up and adjusting her top. “We were selected by a scientist there, to see if our group would be the ones to qualify to use a _Symphogear._ ” She remembered it with the absence of fondness. “If not for how they split us up, I may have made more friends than I did. Thinking back now, that was probably the very reason they split us up.”

“Bastards.” Tsubasa spoke rubbing up and down her back still.

“Mom loved us.” Maria said, aware of the way Tsubasa’s gentle stroking slowed. “But she was strict.” She could still feel the sting on the back of her hand. Owie Owie Bye Bye was a powerful spell, but it never worked on the caster.

“I won’t speak ill of the dead.” Tsubasa left it at that, getting off of the couch. “Do you want me to stay home?” She asked sincerely, attempting to fix her hair.

“You’re going out?” Maria questioned, before remembering. “That’s right. To that club, which one again?”

“It’s the one close to where Hibiki and Kohinata live. I believe it was called _Heaven’s Feel_.”

~!~

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Yumi asked with a nervous laugh as she looked at the name of the nightclub. 

Chris was far from the best judge of these things, but if she had to guess the club was a bright and vibrant place. Purple colors seemed to bathe the entrance like the morning dew, giving it a very sci-fi feel. The music was already playing loud enough to be heard from outside, and despite the enormous amount of people outside, there didn’t seem to be a line.

Chris found it hard to focus on any of these things exactly, keeping an eagle eye on every single one of Miku’s movements. It wasn’t exactly something she could bring up in front of Miku’s friends, but she felt a ball of anxiety in her stomach ever since she saw what the girl was wearing. It would be one thing if it was an accident, or Miku commented on the attire itself, but the fact that she didn’t made Chris check her phone every ten seconds wondering when Hibiki or Tsubasa were going to show up.

“We can coordinate six different attacks to fight the fucking devil but four of us can’t even go out to a club on all our days off without messing up the timing?” She said through gritted teeth, only just now getting the text from Tsubasa that she was running behind. She dimly wondered if she was going to have to kill her senpai and her girlfriend in their sleep for breaking the house rule.

She probably was.

Everyone but Kirika, Shirabe, and Maria were supposed to be coming along, and yet only the people Chris traveled with here had arrived. Hibiki was apparently running late on training, Kioku and Iwasawa were late from Iwasawa’s work running her late, and her senpai had even less excuse. She wouldn’t have minded it really, but that nagging ball in her stomach seemed to roll around in her stomach every time she looked into the club.

“Everything okay ‘Yuki?” Kuriyo asked, looking at her with a head tilt.

“Yeah just,” She looked past Kuriyo, who followed her gaze, seeing Miku staring somewhat absentmindedly up at the night sky. “Hoping people get here soon…” 

~!~

She hoped to get there soon.

She eyed the passing train wearily, a ball of anxiety in her stomach. Despite the wealth of protection her clothes provided, she felt vulnerable. As if the knife on the inside of her sleeve would suddenly come alive and slide into her arm like yet another experiment. 

“Come on Jeanne, fucking focus.” She cursed herself. Her boots moved with the authority of someone with far more confidence than she, and people respected that in kind. It was like she could part the red sea with how she strutted down the sidewalk. Her window of opportunity was limited she knew, but she could get there with minutes to spare, she could get the ambush, and the poor girl she had to murder would not even have a chance to fight back.

_Fighting dirty like the coward you are._

She had to stop herself for a moment, the memory sending her for a loop. In spite of recent events, she didn’t think about the White Orphanage often, especially not in how they trained her to fight.

~!~

_Maria’s fist connected with her cheek with a sickening smack, sending her to the floor. Her opponent wasted no time, mounting her and going for a ground and pound technique as Jeanne covered up. She had to protect her head as much as possible. If she had a knockout scored on her there was no telling how far in the ranks she’d fall._

_“Enough!” Professor Nastassja shouted. The swishing noise of her riding crop was the only warning the victor had before it landed with a sickening sound across Maria’s shoulder blades. “I said enough!” Professor Nastassja reprimanded her prodigy once again, whipping her once, twice, three, four, five, six, seven times. The pinkette covered her head and face by curling into a ball on top of her, rolling away as the professor followed her with continual blows._

_“Jeanne!” Melody rushed to her side, and she was thankful._

_“Sorry Mel,” She apologized. Her tongue found a loose tooth, hanging on by the thinnest of roots. Pushing with the tip of her tongue, she felt the last of the roots be ripped out of her gums, blood filling her mouth quickly. Getting on her hands and knees, she spat out the pool of blood and tooth right behind Professor Nastassja’s feet._

_Maria was still covering herself up, but she could see what Jeanne was doing, even if Professor Nastassja could not. The Mad Russian’s nostrils flared with anger as she looked at the damage done to Jeanne, raising her crop up and giving a renewed round of lashings to the winner._

_“You must learn restraint! You must not harm your only equal who has decent compatibility scores!” She said that as a thunderous lashing of the crop hit the top of Maria’s head, hateful eyes staring the Condamnée sisters down. “Don’t think that by injuring your competition you will become a Symphogear Adaptor!” Nastassja continued, the discipline far from over._

_Melody carried her off of the training room floor, back to a corner where in a few hours the doctors would take a look at her new wounds. The usual warmth that she knew from her little songbird however was lacking, and it wasn’t until she spoke up that she realized why._

_“You didn’t have to do that.” She said in an accusing voice._

_“I did.” Jeanne corrected. “Do you know why?”_

_Melody looked scared, shaking her head._

_“Because losing isn’t something you can ever afford to do.” Jeanne said adamantly. “But if you do lose, you have to make sure whoever wins suffers for it too.”_

_“Jeanne…” Melody said, her voice shaking in fear. “You’re scaring me.”_

_“We need those Symphogears, Melody. If we get those Symphogears, all of this will go away. No matter what, we can’t let anyone else get them. They are our only chance of happiness, you understand?”_

_“If we got Symphogears, could we get out of here?” Melody asked, looking at the armed guards at every door._

_“Absolutely. And when we do, I promise, no one here will hurt us ever again.” Jeanne said, a mad glint in her eye._

_“Ever again?” Melody asked, her blood running cold at the grin that spread across her sister's face._

_“Trust me. If I got my hands on that kind of power. I would tear this place apart.” She was shaking from the excitement. “I’d be an absolute_ **_nightmare._ ** _”_

_~!~_

“If the nightmare is still bothering you, I can stay in if you want. Ogawa and Kashiyami will be there.” Tsubasa said earnestly, but her girlfriend shook her head.

“No, no.” Maria insisted. “Don’t worry about me. You go out and have fun. I just need sleep, and getting some without you or Chris in the house will help I think.” She said, helping flatten Tsubasa’s jacket. 

“Don’t be afraid to call. I won’t be out too late.” Tsubasa said, giving Maria a goodbye kiss and she was out the door, bike helmet under one arm.

Maria had to smile at the door, going back over to the couch and pulling out her notebook. She felt the concerned look of Chris’s parents upon her, and it made her even more resolute in her belief of ghosts. “I’m fine, truly I am.” Maria said, giving a glance to the shrine.

Just like last year they had taken a picture to commemorate her birthday, and Chris had quietly put it up on the shrine. It was an adorable gesture, but staring at the picture gave Maria a sense of unease that she could not place. Walking to it and running her finger over the picture, she dimly realized why.

She couldn’t remember this picture being taken at all.

Her stomach gave a lurch, as if she had suddenly missed a step on the way down. It was absurd. She could see herself in the picture. Smiling, hand around Tsubasa and hand on Chris’s wheelchair, as if everything was perfectly normal. But that smile was not a smile she smiled. Those hands were not hands she put there. This picture had someone in it that was not her.

“That’s not possible. Stop it.” Maria said feverishly. The silence of the apartment seemed to creep into her ears like a worm through the mud. What else didn’t she remember? What else did she forget? What else did she neglect to think of?

She pulled out a pen and piece of paper and got the calendar on her phone. She had the perfect plan in her head. She was going to write down as much as she could remember that she had gotten up to since the photograph was taken. Everything and anything she could possibly, conceivably come up with.

The pen did not move.

It was like someone had reached inside of her, and was slowly pulling open the bottom of her stomach. What has she done the last two weeks? What did she do today? What had she done just a few minutes ago?

_What’s happening to me?_

Were those even her own thoughts?

Or was it the thought of someone else? The thought of someone who raped Chris? The thought of someone who organized the abductions and weaponization of those closest to her? The thought of someone who told her to be a killer? The thought of someone who said the power of a young girl in love was amazing? The thought of someone who would devour her soul and kill everyone closest to her? 

The thoughts of who she was told to be, but never was.

Finé.

“No!” She yelled into the silence of the apartment. Pushing the pen hard to tear through the paper. “Today I got up. I looked at the picture.” She said through gritted teeth, her heartbeat going a million miles an hour. “I kissed Tsubasa.” And the memory of that kiss came rushing back like a wave cresting over a beach. The electricity on her lips, the goosebumps on where her girlfriends hands traveled, the threat Chris made.

Evidence.

Of her.

Maria.

She laid the pen down. Breathing a sigh of relief.

It happened all the time.

If you asked her her favorite thing to eat the first thing she’d forget was what food even was. Of course she forgot everything she was trying actively to remember. No longer focusing on it now, she could think easily of Chris yelling at her for taking all the hot water. Of teasing Elfnein by holding her coffee out of arm's reach, of Kirika, singing Apple to her in the recreation room.

She could even remember going into the bathroom with Kashiyami to investigate Shirabe’s claims.

“I need sleep.” She laughed to herself, walking over to the shrine once more. Sonnet and Masanori Yukine smiled at her, and she could swear they were peering into her soul. Not in an invasion of privacy, but in a promise of oversight. Much like how she did for their daughter, they were watching over her.

“Thank you.” Maria said, bowing to them. She had the apartment to herself, and she was going to take advantage of that fact.

Maria turned all but the hall light off, casting the apartment into an impregnable darkness. She found herself already falling fast asleep as she laid down on the couch, thinking of Tsubasa. 

The shaft of light from the hall was a welcome sentinel in the darkness, easing her into steeper slumber. The light's shine caught the images of Masanori and Sonnet, smiling out at their daughter's companion. And just next to them, in the photo of that very same daughter's birthday, a pink haired stranger's smile turned into a smirk.

~!~

The smirk fell off Kuriyo’s face when she saw who was coming out of the nightclub. The lights illuminated the older woman’s short pink hair like a rave, the teal jacket doing well to define the agent's prime physical condition. There was a brief moment of recognition on her face as she saw Kuriyo, smiling at her.

“Good to see you again.” Kashiyami said, turning to Miku and Chris. Kuriyo couldn’t help but notice how Chris looked like she was about to pull Miku off to the side to ask her something. “It’s all secure in there, just make sure you stay in the open. And stay in pairs.” She said, gesturing them forward.

“We’re not waiting for Hibiki?” Miku asked.

“Ogawa will be picking her up from your place. She shouldn’t be long.” Kashiyami said with a smile. From behind her, Kuriyo tried to catch Miku’s eye, but caught the snow haired wielders instead.

It was like looking in a mirror. Both of them had something to say, but found themselves unable too.

“What about your friends Yukine-san?” Shiori asked.

“They’ll be here soon, they said. Said not to wait up.” Chris said, looking at her phone again. “Senpai is on her way, she just needs gas.”

“I still can’t believe the name of this place.” Yumi said, somehow looking the most anxious. “What’s next, we go to the Anteiku cafe or something?” She said, sounding slightly hysterical.

“Yumi are you talking in anime again?” Kuriyo asked, keeping her eye on the agent.

“If I see a worm in that club, I am burning it to the ground.”

“Let’s just go in.” Miku said, speaking over the rest of them. “No point standing out here.” She said looking up at the foreboding sky as the last remnants of dusk faded and night truly began. “It’s going to rain soon.” 

To Kuriyo’s shock, Miku didn’t even wait for anyone, marching into _Heaven’s Feel_ alone. Kashiyami, Yumi and Shiori quickly followed, but she managed to grab Chris just before she went in. “Hey!”

She wrenched her hand out of her grasp, looking at her. “What is it?” Her tone was even, but on guard.

“I’ll keep an eye on ‘Hina.” Kuriyo promised. “But that woman…” She trailed off, trying to put her anxiety into words.

“I got it.” Chris said nodding. “If something happens, just scream.”

~!~

Genjuro’s phone screamed in his pocket. Noticing who the caller was on the car’ dashboard display, she gave him a curious look as he answered it. “Kirika-kun? What is it?”

Genjuro and Hibiki were both masters of various forms of martial arts, but neither of them were prepared for the high pitched voice that shrieked from the speakers. “ _CAN YOU COME TO LYDIAN PLEASE? I HAVE SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU DESS!”_

Genjuro was glad they were at a stoplight, because he was certain he would have wrecked otherwise. “Is there an emergency Kirika-kun? Is Shirabe-kun with you?”

_“YES! EVERYTHING IS OKAY! BUT WE WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU ALONE!”_

“Kirika-chan you don’t have to yell!” Hibiki whined, holding her ears.

“Hibiki-san!” Kirika said, mind clearly distracted. “I’m sorry but I’m hanging out the window!”

“WHY!” Genjuro and Hibiki shouted at the same time.

“In case someone’s eavesdropping!” Kirika said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I don’t think they need to overhear…” Genjuro started before stopping himself. “Wait, Kirika-kun, are you in danger?”

“Huh?” The voice on the line said. “Oh no! Not at all! But uh... well, I’ll explain when you get here! Oh! Shirabe you’re back, wait don’t be mad-” The call abruptly caught off.

The two of them sat in silence in the car both wondering the same thing.

“She didn’t fall right?” Hibiki asked nervously.

“I’m sure she’s fine.” Genjuro said, gulping.

This stoplight felt really, really long.

“I should probably go check.” Genjuro said, hoping against hope Kirika did not fall out of her bedroom window.

“I can walk to my place from here Master!” Hibiki suggested.

“Are you sure?” He asked, remembering why he hated driving so much as the line of traffic in the direction of her apartment seemed to grow in size.

“Yeah! I just have to go a few streets over and through the park!” She said happily. “Ogawa-san’s waiting for me there so it’ll be a sinch!” 

“Have Ogawa confirm with me you got there safely.” Genjuro said as she opened up the door and gave him the peace sign, before beginning to jog through across the street.

He smiled, turning on his blinker to head towards _Lydian,_ which thankfully did not seem to be as backed up with traffic. But as he drove the less crowded streets, he could not evade the pit in his stomach.

_Callous. You assume I have no soul?_

He drove faster, hoping against hope that whatever Kirika and Shirabe had that it was worth it. 

~!~

“This better be worth it.” Chris said, angrily answering her phone as the deafening club beat surrounded her.

“ _Chris? Can you hear me?”_ Kioku’s voice screamed out of the phone. Despite the fact that she had the phone right against her ear, she genuinely could barely hear her. “ _What the fuck is happening down there? Traffic is backed up to hell and back!”_

 _“Text me! I can’t hear you in this dump!”_ Chris screamed back, hanging up so she didn’t have to keep screaming.

“How did you hear any of that?” Yumi shouted in her ear, the base shaking the club so hard it was like the world itself was having an earthquake.

“ _My shits louder than this shit!”_ Chris shouted back, doing a double take on Yumi. “ _Wait, where did Miku go?”_ She felt Shiori’s hand on her shoulder, pointing into the middle of the club. “Thank fuck.”

Miku was not kidding when she marched into the club like a mad woman. They all felt out of place from the get go. Too many people, too many lights, too much music, and the horrible sound of alcohol, body odor, cigarette smoke and more was overwhelming. The four of them found themselves a nice little corner to sit at, but Chris was doing far from that, watching Miku dance with Kuriyo like a hawk.

“Poor kid.” Chris bit her lip. Kuriyo looked impossibly uncomfortable, being pushed around as she tried to keep up with the hypnotic dance of the pit. The pit which seemed to radiate around Miku like a gravitational pull.

She really should have been unable to focus, from just how hot it should have been to her, but she couldn’t shake the anxiety in her stomach. Because Miku was hot. Miku was dancing and moving to the music as if the sound was a part of her. Her arms and legs moving with raw wild emotion and fluidity, like a maelstrom in the middle of the ocean. You wouldn’t call her moves aggressive in the slightest, but no one dared get into a position where they’d fuck up her fluidity. It was less like she was moving throughout the space on the dance floor and more like it was moving around her.

And that just made her brain move into overdrive.

“I fucking hate physics.” Chris barked as she stood up, looking around and immediately catching Souji’s eye from a shadow across the dance floor. She knew she’d only see him if he allowed it, and she could tell already that he looked displeased. Like a doctor who didn’t know why their patient was sick.

They both knew something was bad. Something was bad right now, or was about to be, or could be, or maybe even should be. Something about this whole thing was wrong, and Chris felt like her foot was coming closer and closer to stepping into a bear trap.

And that was when she realized she couldn’t see Kashiyami either.

~!~

“Kashiyami-kun?” Genjuro’s bewilderment was not disguised and it pissed Kirika off.

“Yes!” She said, already irritated. “It’s her! She’s the one behind it!”

“Kiri-chan, show him the paperwork too.” Shirabe said as the Commander of SONG put down Kirika’s phone.

“These are serious accusations.” Genjuro said, his voice even but not unwelcoming. “Thank you for bringing them to my attention.” But his words fell on deaf ears.

“She’s trying to make us seem crazy!” Kirika said, near tears as she shoved the flower shop names into his chest. “I’m not wrong! Finé is dead! It’s Kashiyami! It’s her!”

She could see his eyes scanning over the documents, reading them carefully. “This…”

~!~

“This sucks. I can’t do this. Why am I fucking doing this? I’m going to fucking die. I’m going to fucking die. I’m going to fucking die and Melody is never going to fucking come back.”

~!~

“ _Back to back bangers! Give it up sports fans for our gal Inizio!”_ The big bald black owner of the club said in a thunderous voice as the aforementioned DJ took a bow.

Chris was thankful for the merciful two second break in the ass numbing bass so that she could think clearly. Even from this far away she could see Kuriyo was trying to talk Miku into coming over to them for just a moment at the very least, but she didn’t seem to be having any of it.

“Kohinata-san has been acting so strange lately.” Shiori said, looking as concerned as Chris felt.

“ _Alright y’all this is my last one before I hand this shit off to Lain here!”_ The DJ said’s voice echoed, the base of the music queuing up again. “ _From the band who gave this place its name!”_

“Tell me about it.” Chris replied, finding her hands shaking.

 _“I played this one earlier but don’t get mad at me! Get mad at who called it in! Because it’s special request hour BAYBEEEEEEEEE”_ The DJ said as the next song began to play.

“She always looks so depressed.” Yumi said, her hand finding Shiori’s under the table.

“That’s because she is.” Chris said, fingernail digging into her palm. She looked at the two of them and smiled. “I’m glad you two are looking out for her too.”

“So _if there is a Kohinata Miku in the house! This one’s for you!”_

“ _WHAT?!”_ All three of them shouted at once. Looking at the stage, expecting to see a nude blonde woman, or a smoking gun, or anything resembling a monster, instead only saw the DJ’s changing shifts. The big black guy who introduced himself to the club as Big Guns Montgomery telling the two DJs a joke that made them all laugh.

 _“Mama done raised herself a bad bad girl._ ” A female singer’s voice dripped out like poison honey as the beat started.

“Shit.” Chris said, looking over and seeing Souji across the dance floor, but he was not looking at her, but at the dance floor itself. 

_“And daddy done left her the whole wide world.”_

And she immediately knew why. In the middle of the dance floor was Kuriyo, her head on a swivel as she looked desperately around for the girl she was meant to be keeping a close eye on. The girl they were all supposed to be keeping a close eye on.

_“Bitch its a blessing.”_

“ _Shit!”_ Chris stood up. Immediately taking out her phone and calling Kioku. She barked over the blonde as soon as she answered the phone. “ _DID YOU JUST CALL IN AND REQUEST A SONG FOR MIKU?”_ She screamed into her phone.

_“And a curse”_

“No? I’m down the street! Iwasawa should be there I think!” 

_“Don't you dare sit there and tell me WHICH IS WORSE!”_

The beat dropped and whatever the girl said was lost even to Chris’s keen ears. “ _STAY NEAR THE ENTRANCE WHEN YOU GET HERE! WE MIGHT BE FUCKED!”_ She hung up the phone and got near the edge of the dance floor.

_“I'm no sinner.”_

“What do we do?” Yumi shouted, both girls trailing right behind the _Ichaival_ wielder.

_“I’m no saint.”_

Even with her short height, she could spy Iwasawa at the entrance of the club. Before she could say anything however, Kuriyo fought her way off the dance floor, gasping. “I LOST HER!”

_“As far as god goes.”_

“What’s happening?” Souji’s voice cut through the noise of the club.

“ _She can suck my taint!”_

“I don’t know!” Chris said, getting right pissed off.

_“Mama done raised me, none too well.”_

“Do we need to evacuate?” Souji asked, and for a moment she was very thankful and hateful towards him. She was glad he trusted her to make the decision, but hated that she had to be the one to do it.

_“Did daddy notice or could he just not tell?”_

“Not without Miku!” Kuriyo shouted, foregoing nicknames and running back onto the dance floor.

_“I’m not an angel.”_

“Wait goddammit! Shit!” Chris screamed after her.

_“Or the one that fell.”_

Looking at Yumi and Shiori, she jerked her head in the direction of Iwasawa at the entrance. “Go to her! We’re leaving!”

_“Daddy’s in heaven.”_

“I’m finding out who requested this damn song.” Souji said, vanishing into the darkness.

_"But my moms in hell!"_

“I’m getting up high!” Chris said, somehow knowing he could hear her. It was time to part the red fucking sea.

_“Break your blessings.”_

She kicked her way into the hoard of people. Nothing was gonna fucking stop her. Not tonight.

_“Count your curses.”_

She pushed and shoved her way through the thronges of masses, channeling her inner fucking Moses to get the drunk pushy idiots out of her way.

_“Who are you, to tell me which is worse then?”_

What were they fucking thinking? Of course this was a bad idea. Miku was in a terrible state. Taking her out to this club was a horrible fucking idea.

_“So baby hate me.”_

They just went because of how bad she felt about dropping the ball with Kioku and Iwasawa. The other three got caught up because Hibiki and Miku felt bad about dropping the ball with them.

_“Don't you ever forgive me, don't you ever forget me.”_

And where the fucking fuck was Tsubasa? This shit would be so much easier if she was here.

_“Just promise that you’ll always hate me.”_

And just where the hell was Kashiyami? Wasn’t she supposed to be the one bodyguarding Miku? 

_“I'm not ending, I’m beginning.”_

Did she manage to find her and get her some place safe?

_“Mama done raised herself a bad bad girl.”_

Or somewhere not safe?

_“And daddy done left her the whole wide world.”_

“This song sucks!” Chris screamed, breaking her way out of the other side of the dance floor. She was pretty sure she was gonna have a black eye from an errant elbow, but she could not give a shit less.

_“You can't tempt me with your love.”_

She saw the stairs to the cat walks, and sprinted up them fast enough to make Genjuro proud.

_“Or forgiveness.”_

“Hey!” Souji grabbed the black haired DJ by the scruff of her black coat. “Who the hell requested that song?”

_“I don’t give up that easy baby!”_

“Inzi what’s this guy’s problem?” Big Guns Montgomery demanded as Souji held the startled looking DJ.

_“I’m such a steal.”_

_“I don’t know!”_ She squeaked out. “They called in the request! She said her name was like Sakura? Sakurai maybe?”

_“After all what power does hell have.”_

_“Shit!”_ Souji shouted as he threw her to the side. Quickly opening up to all comms, he screamed. _“LOCK IT DOWN WE’RE FUCKED!”_

_“If we can’t dream about heaven's feel?”_

Chris’s eyes scanned the club from the catwalk above, alone and away from anyone and everyone. She still could not hear Souji’s distress call over the base of the music, nor did she see that she was most definitely not up there alone.

~!~

“I’m gonna be alone. I’m gonna fucking fail and I am just going to be alone all fucking over again. I can’t do this. I can’t fucking do this.”

~!~

“She did get these roses yes, but look.” He pointed it out again to the devastated Kirika. “Only after the attack.”

“I’m so stupid.” She said miserably, feeling massive pangs of guilt flow through her. 

“You’re not stupid Kiri-chan!” Shirabe insisted. “I was the one who saw it! I didn’t know it came from your done pile.”

“They all flew off the table…” Kirika muttered, feeling utter despair grip her.

Genjuro put a comforting hand on her head, ruffling her hair gently. “We will get to the bottom of this. I promise you.

“If it’s not Kashiyami-san, then who is it?” Shirabe said thoughtfully.

“I should have believed Maria when she told me not to worry after the bathroom.” Kirika said, despair taking her over.

Genjuro let the words of both wielders wash over him, trying to push away the uncertain suspicion that gripped his heart like a hand made of ice.

_“LOCK IT DOWN WE’RE FUCKED!”_

Both girls jumped at the sudden triple scream coming from all three of their communicators at once. In a flash, Genjuro had his communicator in his hand. “Elfnein-kun! Report!”

“Commander? What’s going on?”

“Run a search for everyone!”

“Commander?”

“Now, now, right now!” He was getting up, looking at both wielders. “Get your Gears, and your LiNKER. We are leaving right now.” He said pushing the door open and sprinting after them.

“Wait!” Kirika called out, bolting right after him.

“Kiri-chan!” Shirabe scolded, hand to slow to catch her as she ran out the door.

“Shirabe come on!” Kirika insisted, following after Genjuro down her school dorm’s hallway.

“You forgot your LiNKER!” She said hopelessly going back in the room alone to get it. The door slowly shutting behind her.

~!~

The wind trailed behind her, for once the icy grip of January not hurting Hibiki too badly. It was a nicer day after all, and one she would greatly appreciate. She was cutting through the park which technically would take her longer to get to the apartment, but she knew Miku would forgive her if she was a few minutes late to the night out.

_“LOCK IT DOWN WE’RE FUCKED!”_

Hibiki’s communicator exploded with a voice she did not recognize, stopping her dead in her tracks. “What?” She looked at the communicator, and before she could say anything in response it rang again.

“Hibiki-san? Are you close?” Ogawa’s voice came through immediately.

“Yes!” Hibiki responded. “I’m in the park! I’ll be there in a second!” Hibiki said, running off the path alone. Towards the frozen lake and plateau where just a few weeks ago Chris had played _Hell in Val Verde_ for Miku because Hibiki had no idea how to fix what was wrong.

“I’ll meet you out front. Hurry Hibiki-san. Something’s wrong.”

~!~

“This is so fucking wrong. So fucking wrong. Melody wouldn’t want this. I’m so fucking stupid.”

~!~

Tsubasa sighed at the stupidity of the situation. Watching the slow crawl of traffic from within the convenience store, she seriously considered if walking was a better chance to get to the club. She could just walk her bike to Hibiki and Miku’s apartment and then just jog to the club. Her bike was sitting just outside, in the dark night with the clogged traffic and the threat of rain in the air.

“Restroom?” Tsubasa asked, quizzically following the clerks point to the back of the store and opening it. It was quite the modest bathroom if she was being kind, but it was perfectly usable. 

Getting into the one of two stalls, she made sure to latch the door. Realizing all too late that she left her communicator on her bike, she resolved to finish her business first. She heard the door to the bathroom open, and close as someone got into the stall next to hers.

It really was something just how quiet a bathroom could be when you were not the only one in it.

~!~

“I’m supposed to wait for them to be alone. Once they are alone I can do it. Just stop pussing out Jeanne. You can do this. Fuck I can’t do this.”

~!~

_This is all my fault._

Kirika could not help but think it as she raced down the halls, looking for Genjuro. She had screwed up. She had screwed up doing just one thing right. How could she not have checked the dates? How could she have not checked the dates of all things of when Kashiyami had purchased them? Someone could have easily stolen her phone. 

Why didn't she think about that? Why was she stupid?

She realized then just how truly stupid she was, looking over her shoulder and seeing that she had left Shirabe behind.

_Again._

And had lost Genjuro. Had she taken a wrong turn?

_Stupid._

It was only just now turning to night, and yet the halls of her dorms felt uncomfortably silent. For a moment, just like she always did when Shirabe was not around, she felt utterly and totally alone.

~!~

“Alone! She’s alone! I can take her now! Just stop freezing! You can do it! You can get the drop on her right now! Right fucking now!”

~!~”

“Are you really going to ruin everyone else's night? Pull yourself together.” Miku whispered hatefully to her reflection. She adored Kuriyo, Shiori, Chris and Yumi, but the way that they were fussing all over her like a bunch of bees was driving her crazy. 

Chris especially seemed to be looking at her like she was actually insane. And it was not doing anything to help her anxiety with how paranoid she was feeling already. She just wanted to come out here and enjoy herself. Let herself be lost in the music and just not have to feel anything but Hibiki against her.

But Hibiki wasn’t here. There were too many other people. The music is too loud and her head is just hurting so much. She was thankful for the break in the songs so that she could duck into the bathroom, the fact that they didn’t follow her was a godsend. She loved them all but...

_Is it you?_

Part of her hated Chris for putting that in her head, but she knew she could not blame her for it. Afterall, it was Miku who dreamt it up in the first place.

_How does she have the exact same dream as me?_

That was the part that she could not make sense of, no matter how many times she tried to think about it. She told her some of her dreams, but not to _that_ much detail. Was she really the one behind this?

She backed up against the bathroom stall, feeling just a few cracks in the dam wall begin to form. She couldn’t help but notice a few infuriating tears going down her face, as she took in just how identical to Shem-Ha she truly looked.

“Please don’t be me.” She begged her reflection as the bathroom door opened. “Please, please, please, don’t be me.” 

~!~

“It’s for _me_ Fujitaka-san.” Elfnein corrected with a stern authority, holding her coffee maker in her lap like a proud parent as the SONG agent pulled into SONG HQ’s parking lot.

“I am glad that you were able to finally find one perfect for you.” Fujitaka said good naturedly. “We’ll get it set up in your lab so that everything is just where you can reach.”

Elfnein smiled at him, still looking ungodly tired. “You will set it up.” She said with a delightfully chipper tone in her voice that made him dimly aware she may have a bit more of Carol in her than she realized.

_“LOCK IT DOWN WE’RE FUCKED!”_

The sudden blast in her car shocked both of them, stunning them in their seats, looking at each other gobsmacked.

“ _Elfnein-kun! Report!”_

“Commander?” Elfnein said, confused. “What’s going on?”

 _“Run a search for everyone!”_ His orders were definitely not to be questioned right now.

“Commander?” Elfnein said as they both got out of the car. They were moving so quick they left the car running, sprinting with desperation onto what had once been school grounds.

“ _Now, now, right now!”_

“We’re goin-oh!” Elfnein chirped as Fujitaka picked her up, sprinting with the young alchemist. His longer legs being much more effective at getting them into the building than Elfnein could. For a moment, she was thankful for how tall he was.

She was less thankful for how infuriatingly long the elevator ride was.

“ _Elfnein-kun hurry please.”_

“Yes Commander!” Elfnein said, both her and Fujitaka raced out of the elevator, sprinting as fast they could down the long technicolor hallways that was HQ. Distantly she could hear the footsteps behind them, and looking back Tomosato following them hair still wet as if she had been caught in the shower.

_This was timed. They timed this. They actually timed this._

Elfnein didn’t need Fujitaka this time. Her lab coat spread out behind her like a cape as she ran at a full sprint, faster than she had ever run in her entire life towards the bridge of SONG HQ. The ever dedicated bridge bunnies right behind, every single step feeling like it was too slow, too small. Every step where she wasn’t right there was a step that got another wielder killed.

_They set a trap. They actually set a trap._

The bridge doors opened up and Elfnein frantically logged in as quickly as she could. Scrambling quickly, she, just like she had done weeks before, did a full system scan, and just like before, it did it in the predetermined order.

_ >Scanning: _

~!~

_“Jeanne…you’re scaring me.”_

“I know Melody I’m sorry.” She spoke to her memory, fighting the tears that ran down one side of her face. “Even if you forgive me, I never will. Just know I would have done anything else, if I had any other choice.”

~!~

_Scan Complete:_

_ >SG-i01: Shul Shagana _

_ >Adaptor: Tsukuyomi Shirabe _

_ >Status: System All Green: Normal Operation _

_ >Location: Sector 29, Lydian Music Academy, Dorm 32A _

~!~

She stepped out from where she was hidden, knife deftly between her fingers. They didn’t know she was there. They had no idea whatsoever.

_ >SG-i02: Igalima _

_ >Adaptor: Akatsuki Kirika _

_ >Status: System All Green: Normal Operation _

_ >Location: Sector 29, Lydian Music Academy, Dorm A Hallway _

They looked so fucking perfectly goddamn happy. Of course they did. They got to have their fucking Symphogears. They got to have their fucking wishes fullfilled. Wishes that she never got. Wishes that Melody never got. Wishes don’t go to one eyed freaks and girls who freeze to death on Christmas!

~!~

_ >SG-i03: Shénshòujìng _

_ >Adaptor: Kohinata Miku _

_ >Status: System All Green: Normal Operation _

_ >Location: Sector 1, SONG HQ _

~!~

“Oh that does not tell me anything I don’t already know!” Elfnein cried out. Painfully aware that she had _Shénshòujìng,_ fully operational back in her lab. She knew she needed to get it, and get to Miku stat, but now she had no idea where she could possibly be! 

~!~

_ >SG-r01: Ame no Habakiri _

_ >Adaptor: Kazanari Tsubasa _

_ >Status: System All Green: Normal Operation _

_ >Location: Sector 12: Go-Go Convenience Store. _

~!~

They never could have possibly cared for a one eye freak like her. The perfect little heroes of the world. Everything working out for them just perfectly while the only thing of value you had was a shitty fucking Christmas tree.

~!~

_ >SG-r02: Ichaival _

_ >Adaptor: Yukine Chris _

_ >Status: System All Green: Normal Operation _

_ >Location: Sector 11: Heaven’s Feel Nightclub _

~!~

They saw her coming. When they did they, it wasn't hatred, or fear, or disgust at the sight of her. No, that would have been a kindness. No, that would have been a mercy. No, they looked at her with fucking _pity._ Like they already knew her life fucking story.

~!~

_ >SG-r03: Gungnir _

_ >Adaptor: Tachibana Hibiki _

_ >Status: System All Green: Normal Operation _

_ >Location: Sector 12: Marigold Park _

~!~

She repaid their cruelty in kind.

“ _DIE!”_

The girl’s hand went to protect her face instinctively, the blade stabbing right through her palm ripping through bone and coming out the back of her hand. Jeanne put her full weight into it, the girl’s screams a symphony of agony as the blade lodged into her hand sank into her collarbone.

~!~

_ >SG-x00 Airgetlám: _

_ >Adaptor: Maria Cadenzavna Eve _

_ >Status: ERROR _

_ >Location: ERROR _

~!~

“Commander!” Elfnein into the communicator. “Maria’s signal! It’s just like the night of _Highton View Terrace! I have no reading on her!”_

_“What?!?!!”_

~!~

_“Because losing isn’t something you can ever afford to do.”_

She was sprinting now. She was sprinting as fast as she could, blood pouring from her like an open faucet. She had stabbed the shit out of that little bitch, and of _course_ the little bitches had themselves armed security at every point. They had shot her all to hell, but it did not matter. It could not matter.

Because these bitches had been dancing on a frozen lake, while she tried desperately not to break the thin ice. But that was gone. That was done. The deed was done. She had done it.

And she was going to see Melody again.

She could smell the croque madame now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is titled Don't Lose


	13. Owie Owie Bye-Bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have been reading the story up to this point, you should know what to expect. Happy early birthday to Hibiki!

“What _is_ going on downtown tonight? Seriously!” Itai Kioku wondered out loud as she rounded the corner. The noise of the nightclub was so loud she could basically feel it in her ass. Shivering in the cold, adrenaline still spiked, she was ready to just enjoy her time with Chris tonight.

She tried to play it as cool as could be, but in reality, good lord was she just petrified of tonight. What if she fucked it up? What if she went too far? She didn’t want Chris to think about her like she thought about her crazy ex.

_Course we have to be together for that to happen first. Just play it cool. You can do this._

Shaking the nerves off herself, Kioku smiled, slapping some feeling into her cheeks, she was READY! She was going to have herself an awesome night tonight. Who knows! Maybe it’d be eventful! Chris certainly sounded excited when she had called her earlier, and it was contagious. She was positively shaking, hoping against hope that she could maybe find an excuse to try and get a kiss with her lovely little snowflake. The very idea was enough to make her squeal like a little girl in embarrassment. 

“Nothing is going to ruin tonight. Everything is gonna be awesome.” Kioku said with absolute confidence as she walked through the doors of the club, eyes widening in shock. “HEYHEYHEY WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK!”

~!~

Tsubasa finished washing her hands, smiling at the old woman who slowly got out of her own stall before heading back out into the store and to her bike. Even from the step of the store she could see the blinking light of her communicator and knew she had made a grim oversight. 

“ _Uncle! What’s going on?”_ She desperately cried out to all comms.

“There’s been an attack!” Elfnein was the first to answer.

“Who’s being attacked?” Tsubasa demanded. _“WHO!?”_

~!~

The quick pitter patter of feet sprinting towards made her heart leap out of her chest as she rounded a corner, falling helplessly on her back. “Ah!”

“Kiri-chan!” Shirabe chastised her beloved, reaching her hand out and bringing the blonde to her feet. “You forgot your LiNKER!” She gave the green vial to her, making her girlfriend smile bashfully. “Where’s the Commander?”

“I got turned around.” Kirika said. “Shirabe, where is everybody?” She asked, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck be alarmed.

“It’s Saturday Kiri-chan, everyone’s out, let’s go!” Shirabe urged, keeping their hands intertwined as they began to make their way very quickly for the exit. Quietly, as they descended the hallway to the outside where Genjuro’s car was lying in wait, an overwhelming sensation came over both of them.

Something terrible had happened.

~!~

“Miku!” Kuriyo exclaimed, jogging to her. “You can’t just run off like that!”

“Leave me alone Kuriyo, please.” Miku begged, not even having the will to hide her tears. “Kashiyami knows I’m here, just let me be alone for a minute.”

“Will you quit feeling sorry for yourself and listen to me!” Kuriyo shouted. “Something weird is happening!”

“What?” Miku looked at her worried. Only just now realizing she had left her communicator on silent. That realization sent an icicle straight through her heart. Something bad happened. Something bad _was_ happening. Something _very bad_ was happening. Right now. “What’s going on?” 

~!~

Chris jumped back at feeling the hand on her shoulder. Poised, ready to fight, ready to kill, ready to-

“The hell?” She exclaimed at Kashiyami, who looked equally pissed at her.

“Didn’t you hear the red alert? Come on, we are getting you out of here now!” Kashiyami said angrily. From the catwalk, Chris couldn’t see if Kioku had gotten to the club yet, not seeing any sign of the dummy or senpai either. Yumi, Iwasawa, and Shiori had all gathered at the front of the club. She couldn’t see Kuriyo or Miku around there either, but she could see Souji, skulking around the entrance. Trying to make sure no one picked one of them off.

“We need to find Miku.”

“What are you talking about? I know where Miku-san is!” Kashiyami retorted, grabbing her by the arm and dragging her along. Sure enough, as they headed to the edge of the catwalk, Kuriyo’s beige head of hair emerged from the bathroom, dragging Miku behind her to the entrance.

“Fucking A. This is bad.” Chris said, biting her lip.

“It’s very bad. There’s no way that song was something Hibiki-san would request.” Kashiyami said as they headed down the steps. “We are getting you all the hell back to HQ. Someone is planning something, I don’t know what but-” Her eyes, widened as she took a look at the girls, hand going to her sidearm. “ _Who the hell are you?”_ She screamed over the deafening noise of the night club at Souji.

“Relax, I’m the one who made the call in!” He barked back at her, hoping not to add _getting shot_ to his list of night time activities.

“Bullshit!” Kashiyami replied, getting ready to draw her gun, when she felt Chris’s grip on her wrist.

“He’s telling the truth! It’s senpai’s ninja’s brother!” She said over the noise of the club.

_“What?”_

“ _I_ _T’S OGAWA'S BROTHER!”_ Chris screamed in her ear over the roar of the nightclub.

“ARE YOU SURE?” Kashiyami screamed back, partially out of revenge.

_“Motherfucker are you out of your damn mind?_ !” Chris demandingly pointing at him. “He’s a samurai in a nightclub, _WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?!”_

Kashiyami considered this for the briefest of seconds, before conceding. “We’re evacuating. Everyone, we are going to HQ. Now.” 

“What about Hibiki?” Miku asked, her voice raising in pitch.

“Everyone’s going to HQ. Shinji should be taking her there now.” Souji said with confidence, speaking into his ear piece. “Shinji?”

It was like time stood still. In the raging frenetic energy of the night club, people dancing, carefree club goers without a concern in the world. The music was deafening, life shortening, overwhelming, and yet the loudest thing in the club was the silence on the other end of Souji’s communicator.

“No.” Miku whispered, tearing out of Kuriyo’s grasp and sprinting for the door.

“Nothing is going to ruin tonight. Everything is gonna be awesome.” Kioku said with absolute confidence as she walked through the doors of the club, eyes widening in shock. “HEYHEYHEY WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK!” The blonde cried out as Miku ran her over like a train plowing through a living room.

“Miku, wait!” Chris bolted after her. She wasn’t the strongest or swiftest gal around, Kashiyami, Kuriyo and Souji all beating her to the punch.

“Hang on ‘Hina!” Kuriyo, hands just out of reach as Souji got his hand locked around the ruby eyed girl’s wrist.

“Calm down!” Souji ordered her. “Shinji will b-oof!” Whatever he was going to say was lost as Miku shoulder barged him to the ground, the samurai’s face etched in shock.

“I need to find her!” She shouted, pushing off of Kashiyami who tried to grabble her, before an errant back elbow caught Kuriyo right in the nose.

“Ah!” The Captain of the Fencing team cried out as she landed on her ass, blood quickly pouring from her nose.

“Kuriyo!” Miku cried out, looking down at her, blinking her eyes back to emerald. Shiori and Yumi were there in an instant, the former pushing a tissue to the girl’s now broken nose.

“Oi!” Miku was jerked away from her observation, now starring Chris dead in the eye. “Chill. Your. Shit.” She seethed out, Iwasawa and Kioku looked both frightened and confused. “We will find out what’s going on. But we can’t be running all over Tokyo like chickens with our heads cut off.”

Miku looked ready to protest, ready to rip free from her grip, ready to sprint away, but instead of doing any of that, simply ducked her head in apology. “Okay. Where are we going?”

“HQ.” Kashiyami said, helping Souji to his feet. “It’s the safest place and where everyone should rendezvous. My car is parked-”

“You’re wasting your time lady.” Iwasawa said, speaking up for the first time. “Traffic is backed up to hell and back. You’re not getting anywhere in a car.”

“It’s terrible, I had to park blocks away!” Kioku confirmed, dusting herself off.

“It’s too far to walk.” Souji stated, counting the nine people who had to be transported. “Should we call a helicopter in?”

“It's supposed to storm.” Shiori said, helping Kuriyo to her feet.

“What about the metro?” Miku suggested, having an epiphany. “Hibiki and I take it all the time to school.” 

“One should be stopping by the station near here soon.” Kashiyami thought out loud. “It picks up at sector 11 and 12, let’s move!” The bodyguard put a firm hand on Miku’s back pushing her along as the group began to jog across the street.

Kioku fell in line with her as they began to run,“Chris, what the fuck is happening?” She asked as they jogged between lains. 

“Hopefully, this is just one big overreaction.” Chris said, the bottom of her stomach falling out. “But we’re not that lucky.” She gritted her teeth, staring at Miku’s back. “We’re not that lucky at all.”

~!~

The park felt colder than normal. The way the snow crunched under her feet, it wasn’t soft like mud, but hard as a rock. Dangerously slick, she made her way around the frozen lake, and near the plateau where Chris had played a song for Miku. God that felt like a lifetime ago.

That was when Hibiki noticed somebody who needed her help.

“You can do this Jeanne, you can do this you can do this. You stupid fucking bitch you can-”

“Hey…” She said gently to the girl. The girl looked startled to see her, keeping one eye closed, She had short brown hair, and looked to be well dressed for exercise, but looked to be in a state of incredible despair. “Why are you crying?”

She knew she had to go meet Ogawa soon, that something bad was going on somewhere else, but something bad was going on right here, right now. And she was not about to turn away from someone who needed help.

“Do you need help?” She offered gently. She’d get this girl to Ogawa, and then they would find a way to help her out and go deal with whatever was needed dealing with. 

“I…” The poor girl looked positively stunned by her. Like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Was this how she used to look at Miku? Was the world so cruel to this woman that this was the first time she had ever been shown kindness?

“I can get you help if you need it.” Hibiki offered, now kneeling down, keeping her smile warm and homely. The girl’s face contorted in confusion and then something close to offense. It took Hibiki a second to place the look on her face, but she’d seen it before. Chris looked at her the same way the day she said she would tell Finé she believed in the song in her heart.

“Oh you’ve helped me enough already.” The girl said in a low tenor, slowly rising to her feet. She had a French accent, her voice husky and hoarse. Like she had not talked in a while, or had screamed a lot recently.

“Oh!” Hibiki said, surprised. “I’m glad!” She said, beaming. Now all they had to do was get the girl somewhere safe, and then she could connect with the others. But this girl didn’t have to worry about that, Hibiki was going to do her best to make sure she didn’t have to worry about anything at all. “It’s like my dad always says!” She said proudly, putting her hands on her hips. “‘It’s Alright. Everything is Just Fine.”

The girl gave her a smile in response.

“You know what I think, Hibiki?” Jeanne said, letting the knife fall from her sleeve to her hand. “I think your dad’s full of shit.”

~!~

_“And how the hell am I even supposed to kill her anyway?” Jeanne demanded. She was almost ready to cry in frustration from it all._

_“I’ve helped you level the playing field. If you get the jump on her you should be fine.” Finé said as if it was the most casual thing in the world._

_“You said she wields Gungnir. The spear of Odin. A legendary heroic power!” She recited back to her, feeling heated in the moment. She felt like she was being set up._

_“You know your lore quite well. You must know that it is not only heroes who become legends, yes?” Finé asked with the most disturbing smile in her voice._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“The monsters Jeanne, the monsters.” She stood now, standing over her with a grin of delight. “The tales of the banshee, whose wail signals the end. Or of Cerberus! The three headed dog who guards the passageway into Hades itself.” She was getting closer now, chest heaving in excitement._

_“I…”_

_“What about the leader of the Fomorians? The king of the demons?” Finé said, grinning wider. “Balor.”_

_Just hearing the word sent shivers down her spine._

_“Do you know who Balor is, Jeanne? When his evil eye opens, the world ends. First the grass burns, the seas boil, then the air catches fire and all of humanity falls!” She pinned her against the wall, golden eyes racing in excitement._

_“Why...why are you telling me this?” Jeanne asked, her heart racing._

_And then, Finé did the most disturbing thing of all._

_She smiled._

_“Oh...no reason sweetie.” Finé kissed her then, Jeanne hating every minute of it. “No reason at all.”_

~!~

Gripping the handle with both hands, Jeanne pounced like a snake. “Wha-HEY! No!” Hibiki cried, bringing her hand up instinctively to protect her face. The blade pierced through her palm and out the back of her hand. “ _Ahhh! Stop! What are you doing?”_ She cried, kicking out at Jeanne’s knee, making the girl fall on top of her.

_“DIE!”_ The one eyed assassin screamed, pushing down with her full weight on the blade. Falling on top of her, the meat of the blade sawed through her hand like butter. Her weight behind it, it stabbed her victim in the collarbone; their shared momentum carrying them into a somersault down the hill.

_“_ Stop! _Stop! STOP!!”_

_“Fucking die!”_

They crashed through bushes and the rough snow, both tumbling over the bank of the frozen lake and falling through the thin ice with a wet crash. The water was black like tar, nothing but desperate bubbles reaching the surface.

~!~

_“Miku! You should hide out at the school shelter!”_

_“Hibiki!”_

_“Everyone has something they’ll never give up on. But that doesn't mean I can afford not to win.”_

_“You don’t have to win.”_

_Miku…_

_“Just don’t lose.”_

~!~

Cold.

It was fucking cold.

All the bulletproof vests and knife proof shirts in the world won’t do shit when you are fucking cold. 

It was cold and it was dark. Dark and cold as the bottom of the sea. She was swirling around beneath the surface, the back of her head hurting from the impact of the ice. She knew vaguely she was in trouble, but for some reason she felt rather peaceful. Maybe it was because she wasn’t alone? There was this girl after all, drifting through the cold with her, but she looked hurt.

She had a kni-

Jeanne screamed beneath the surface of the water, finally waking up to the reality of her situation.

And she wasn’t the only one.

An errant back elbow from Hibiki caught her in the nose, sending her wheeling and swiping in the murky depths. Her fingers felt the sweet kiss of steel just on the edge of her grasp.

Her knife!

Jeanne grabbed the blade by the handle, reuniting with her old friend to commit her final sin. But her target was having none of it, kicking at her in retaliation in the darkness of the abyss. She caught one of her ankles, ready to end it now, but Hibiki curled into a ball, and used her as a launch pad to kick herself off of.

_She’s trying to kill me!_

Using her downward momentum to flip herself around, she forced her way through the depths of the black lake. Hibiki had the speed of kicking off of her, but Jeanne had a power that the wielder could not possibly know; one that pushed her through the surface like a minotaur through a labyrinth.

In no time at all she had closed the gap, grabbing at her foot and slowly swinging the blade through the water. It was like fighting in jello, or more accurately underwater. She slashed across the girl’s back, an explosion of bubbles bursting from her victims mouth. She had the advantage and she needed it now. She knew if they made it to land that she’d stand no chance at escaping the water. She stabbed at the wielder's sides and arm, slicing across her back, stabbing against her rib cage, trying to break through. The water slowed her strikes, and prevented her from penetrating even with the strength granted by Finé’s experiments.

She saw Hibiki’s hand reach above the surface, clutching at anything to pull her up. But Jeanne refused to let go, keeping her death grip on. She stabbed her in the shoulder, dragging her back under just as her head broke the surface to scream for help. Jeanne wasn’t sure how she knew that she didn't have to breathe, but she did know that Hibiki did, and that just made her smile. Pulling the knife out of the girls back, she wrapped herself around her, bringing the knife to slit her throat.

In that moment, she felt her victim slack, as if realizing it was over. As if realizing that she was going to die. 

That she was going to lose.

Jeanne felt a firm hand grip her wrist tight as a back elbow sank into her armpit, dislocating her shoulder with a _pop_. It was so sudden, so sharply painful, that she didn’t realize she was sinking. That is, until she wasn't.

Because Hibiki still had a grip around her wrist.

And despite everything, she was swimming to the top, dragging Jeanne to the top with her.

_Wait, what?_

She was saving her. Guilt the size of a rock hit her in the stomach, threatening to drag her down into the dark abyss below. She had stabbed this girl. She’d stabbed the shit out of her. Her blood was darkening the water all around them, she was likely only conscious from pure adrenaline and…

She was saving her.

_Why am I doing this?_

_“You have a job to do. You know that.”_

She could see Hibiki’s head break the surface, the warm light above the cold abyss. The girl’s hand was warm around her wrist, clutching tightly, refusing to let go even for a second. She knew then, that she’d be pulled out of this lake, that she’d be saved. That she would be okay.

_“Mel! Come on, Mel wake up! Mel wake up, it's Christmas!”_

She tore her wrist free from Hibiki’s grasp.

_I’m sorry._

And once again found her fingers closing around cold steel.

_I’m not that one that needs saving._

Jeanne exploded out of the water behind her, slamming the knife down with everything she had. It tore through Hibiki’s shoulder blade, blood shooting from her mouth as she choked out. “Stop! We can help you!”

“Help me? _Help me!?”_ Why couldn’t she just stop fighting? Why couldn’t she just make this fucking easier! She grabbed the back of the bitches head, slamming her face first onto the cold hard snowbank on the edge of the lake. “ _You can’t help me!” Not unless you fucking die!”_ She sobbed as loud as she ever had, having no idea when she started to cry. “Just die! Die! _Die! DIEDIEDIE!”_ She slammed her head against the bank again and again, ripping the knife out and trying to stab through the bone of her shoulder once more to no avail. “FUCK!” She raised the knife high over her head, bringing it down like a hammer, the tip of the knife breaking as it tried in vain to pierce the top of the girl's skull. The broken blade slid down from the top of her head, down her face like a box cutter.

“ _I’m sorry!”_ Jeanne sobbed in the middle of the park, grabbing the girl by the top of her head, blood seeping through her fingers. “ _I’m so fucking sorry!”_

_“HIBIKI-SAN!”_

She heard a man’s voice yell itself hoarse from the hill they fell down.

Jeanne climbed over the girl’s motionless body, a shaky boot stepping onto her head, pushing her under. But as she got out of the cold lake she saw the girl’s hands.

The hands that she had offered out to her in kindness. The hands she had offered out to her in friendship. The hand that she stabbed her knife into like it was a pumpkin. The same hands that had tried so desperately to claw themselves out of the lake that her fingernails had torn clean off. The hands that were now slipping into the water, beneath the surface.

_“Hibiki-san! You!”_

One eye locked with two, and she could see the blood in his expression. This was no time to be a deer in headlights. She kicked the snow up from under her as she took off in a mad sprint, away from Hibiki, away from him, away from this lake and trying her best to get to the sweet smell of croque madame.

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Birds took to the sky at the sound of gunfire in the park. Three bullets cutting through the air like a knife through the hand, expertly aimed, and with the precision to dewing a fly without killing.

All three met their mark. 

The first hit right in the back of her knee, exploding out of her patella like a popped balloon. The second caught her right in the armpit as she pumped her arms mid dash. The third sailing right over her hand, catching her just under the chin and obliterating the right side of her jaw.

Three perfect shots. She might as well have been naked for how much her clothes protected her.

“ _Hibiki-san!”_

But lady luck was on her side.

Clutching the hole in her face, she dared not turn to look back, trusting the sound of the water as the man dived into the water. He didn’t know what she did. That she had killed her. That she, Condamnée Jeanne, had killed Tachibana Hibiki. She had killed her. Killed her fucking dead. Murdered her. Murderer.

“Fuck!”

Blood pumped out of the side of her jaw as she screamed out in anguish.

She had to do it. She absolutely had to fucking do it. If she didn’t, that crazy blonde bitch would have made her do it. Made her! 

And she would have lost.

_“Because losing isn’t something you can ever afford to do.”_

She was sprinting now. She was sprinting as fast as she could, blood pouring from her like an open faucet. She had stabbed the shit out of that little bitch, and of course the little bitches had themselves armed security at every point. They had shot her all to hell, but it did not matter. It could not matter. 

Because these bitches had been dancing on a frozen lake, while she tried desperately not to break the thin ice. But that was gone. That was done. The deed was done. She had done it. 

And she was going to see Melody again. 

She could smell the croque madame now.

~!~

_“I told her I was going to check on something and that I’d meet up with her in the park when I was done.”_

_“And what would you have done had I not been home?”_

_“Uhhh, well I didn’t think about that. Chris-chan doesn't have a cell phone! How am I supposed to call you?”_

The memory was like an open wound.

“You fucking call me every day but today and the one day I call you you don’t pick up?” Chris shut her phone with anger, fighting tears. “You asshole.” She rubbed the tears out of her eyes, not wanting Miku to see as they ran up the steps to the platform.

“Anything?” Kuriyo asked, having just finished her own desperate text to Hibiki herself.

Chris shook her head, trying to control herself. Not for her sake, not even for Hibiki’s sake, but for Miku’s. Because she knew exactly what she was thinking. Because she was thinking the same thing.

“I swear to fucking god Finé if you touch her.” The words left her mouth in a whisper, looking across the platform to Miku’s back. She hadn’t said a single word since they ran for the metro station. She could only guess at what she was thinking. At how terrified she was over the unknown of the situation.

They had arrived at the station just a bit too early. The metro was on the intersection of Sectors 11 and 12, and they could only hope for the best as it finally began to pull in. Chris felt just as anxious as everyone else looked, but her eyes rarely strayed from Miku for more than a singular minute.

She could feel Kioku behind her, and though she dreaded it, she knew this was something better said now than later. “Chris…”

“I’m sorry. This was supposed to be a fun night out. My bullshit became your bullshit.” Chris said bitterly, her nail digging into her palm.

“Hey, hey.” Kioku smiled at her warmly, putting a hand on her back. “It’s okay, that club was shit anyway right?” Her words were genuine, but the disappointment at the ruined night was impossible to miss.

“You were really looking forward to it huh?” Chris asked it as a question, but she already knew the answer.

Kioku’s expression pained, and she looked away for a moment. “Last time I checked, that club’s not going anywhere.” She looked back at her now, smiling. “And neither am I.” She grabbed Chris’s hand, blood rushing to the wielder's face. “I don’t know everything that goes on in your life Chris, but I want to be a part of it no matter what.”

Chris had to look away, welling up like the baby she felt like. “You’re a rotten bitch you know that?” She said shakily, trying to hide her shaky breath with a laugh.

“To the core.” Kioku confirmed, putting a tissue in Chris’s hand. “But I am _your_ rotten fucking bitch.” She gave her a grin and a wink, and for the first time all night, Chris felt the ball in her stomach lighten a bit.

“You still can’t play the flute for shit.”

“Did I mention I think your outfit is hideous?”

Chris laughed, and the ball lightened even more. Everything about this might suck, but this particular moment, well it was alright.

“ _Blue Line Metro approaching the station.”_

The intercom’s voice echoed in the station, stirring both girls from their both reprieve. Chris looked at the line, seeing the front of the train go down all the way to the end. They had deliberately chosen to get into the station that would have them at the back of the train. If they happened to be attacked, it would be the easiest train car to separate from the others, to best minimize civilian casualties.

“I hate public transport.” Souji seethed as the train stopped. “I’m getting up top.” He announced to no one, leaping on top of the train in a single bound.

“Should we go with you?” Kuriyo asked her, unable to hide the nervousness in her voice. Chris felt bad for them. All they wanted was a nice night out with their old friends, and instead she got even more people caught up in her bullshit.

Kuriyo looked nervous, but alert. Like she was ready to fight if she had to, but only if she had too. Shiori looked reserved and calm, but intensely serious, keeping a firm arm around Yumi’s shoulders. Yumi herself looked positively petrified. Eyes scanning every corner of the station, like she expected Finé to pop out at any second. A possibility that Chris realized was more likely than it wasn’t. 

“Why are we even going with you? Does this really involve us?” Iwasawa asked, looking annoyed.

“‘Sawa!” Kioku barked at her.

“What?” Iwasawa shrugged at her, offended. “Look I don’t know what’s going on, but I don’t see why us being here is needed.” She was very obviously trying to keep her cool about it, but was clearly far more pissed than letting on.

“Look, I-” Chris began before Kashiyami cut her off.

“It’s a precautionary matter. The primary suspect in this is a deranged sociopath who would not hesitate to use Chris and Miku-kun’s closest allies as bait and or human shields.” Kashiyami said as if explaining why the car wouldn’t start. “In this case, I’d much rather overreact than put any of you at risk.” She looked at everyone then as the train cars opened. “Get inside.”

Everyone did, except for Chris, and one other person.

Said person who had yet to move from where she stood, staring at her phone helplessly. Her fingers worked on autopilot, hitting the redial button again and again, eyes burning into her phone, hoping for an answer.

“Miku-kun!” Kashiyami started to go for her, but Chris put her hand out.

“Let me.” She asked, and seeing Kashiyami’s face she just sighed. “Please?”

_“Blue Line Metro will be departing shortly.”_

Kashiyami looked miffed, but jerked her head towards her. “Hurry up.”

Chris breathed a sigh of relief, walking slowly over to Miku. Even to her she could hear the hauntingly familiar sound of Hibiki’s voicemail.

_“Hi there! You reached the voicemail of Tachibana Hibiki! I probably forgot my phone, but if you call Miku she should know where I am!”_

_Fuck._

“Miku come on. We gotta go.” Chris said gently. Placing a comforting arm around her shoulder, she led her onto the metro, the doors shutting behind them.

“She’s lying Chris.” Miku said with a bitter laugh. “I don’t know where she is.”

“Miku…” 

_“Blue Line Metro will be departing momentarily.”_

Miku raised her head to look Chris dead on, tears streaming down her face. “It’s just like how it used to be.” She whispered manically. “I’d wake up and I wouldn’t know where she was. I’d go to class and I wouldn’t know where she was. I’d make dinner and I wouldn’t know where she was. I’d go to bed and I wouldn’t know where she was. Every day Chris. Every day she would find a different time and place to die without me ever knowing it.” Her voice shook with something close to a laugh or a sob, Chris wasn’t sure she wanted to know which.

“Don’t say things like that.” Chris said, squeezing her shoulder gently. “I don’t know why we can’t get through to her, but-”

“That’s right, you don’t know.” Miku said, now staring out the train car window.

_“Blue Line Metro is leaving the station.”_

“Do you know what was the worst thing Hibiki ever said to me Chris?” Miku asked, her lips becoming a thin line. 

“No.” Chris breathed out, becoming uncomfortably aware of how similar Miku’s outfit made her look like someone else.

“‘I’ll be back before you know it.’” Miku said in a voice that deliberately mocked Hibiki’s. “She said it every day. Before every mission you all went on. Before I even knew she went on missions. It was a lie.” She was trembling in Chris’s embrace, like an ice sculpture in an earthquake.

“I’d never know when she’d come back. When you’d all come back.” She said painfully. “Hours. Days. Weeks. She couldn’t even make it to her own birthday party.” She turned to look at Chris, any semblance of hiding her emotions shattered. “How many times do I have to live through her death, Chris?”

“Miku!” Chris raised her voice, feeling an intense shame bottle up in her. She tried never to think about the torture Miku’s own mind put her through. Of how Hibiki’s countless nightly battles against the Noise that Chris summoned drove Miku to near insanity. But this was no time to feel sorry for herself. “I can’t tell you she’s not dead.” She struggled to get the words out, barely willing to entertain the thought. “But I can tell you that I don’t think she’s dead. I hope she’s not dead.” She gulped, swallowing back the sob in her throat.

“Jesus Christ Chris who the fuck is your ex.” Iwasawa said from across the train car, looking at them both, terrified.

“Will you shut the fuck up?” Chris said pointedly to her, catching the equally petrified looking Kioku’s eye. She wished she could give her words of comfort too, but right now Miku needed her.

“Whoever is fucking doing this, isn’t gonna get away with it.” Chris said stubbornly. “They are gonna pay. Regardless of if Hibiki’s okay or not. You get me?” She said looking pointedly at her, but Miku had a small sad smile on her face.

“What if she’s being raped right now Chris!?” Miku pondered, looking ready to throw up. “What if by the time we finally catch up, Finé has already raped and killed her huh?” She demanded, glaring at her.

“Listen to me!” Chris began hotly. “I-”

“Finé?”

Hearing the name from someone other than Miku or Kashiyami was so shocking, it took Chris a moment to realize who said it. And from staring into her eyes at the point of their argument, she guessed it shocked Miku just as much. The anger that had been enough to make her blood boil was gone, now replaced with shock and confusion, as both wielders turned to the girl sitting across from them.

“Finé?” Kioku whimpered out, looking deathly pale. She was trembling from head to toe, like she was being held at gunpoint. “How, how do you know Finé?” She croaked out, looking like she was about to vomit.

“How do _you_ know Finé?” Chris and Miku asked at the same time.

“I…” Kioku’s trembling was bordering on epilepsy at this point, looking more terrified than Chris had ever seen someone look in her life. “Chris, is Finé your ex?” She asked, sounding genuinely hysterical, as if the last remnant of sanity resided on that question.

“Yes.” Chris answered automatically.

“No...no, no, no, no, no, no!” Kioku’s trembling started to resemble a full on panic attack. Clutching at her hair with a look of both disbelief and confusion on her face. 

“What the fuck is happening?” Iwasawa looked between Chris and Kioku, looking more confused than anyone. “Who the fuck is Finé?”

“Please sit down.” Kashiyami was standing now as well.

“She’s gonna kill me, she’s gonna eat my fucking soul. I was stupid. I was so fucking stupid.” Kioku was whispering to herself like a cornered animal.

“Can someone please explain to me what the fuck a Finé is?” Iwasawa demanded pointedly, staring down Kashiyami.

“I thought she died.” Yumi whispered so quietly that Chris forgot that the three were still with them.

“It’s okay Yumi. She’s not here. She’s not going to hurt you.” Shiori said, stroking her back gently.

“‘Hina, what’s going on?” Kuriyo asked, one eye still on the panicking Kioku.

“Chris…” Miku’s voice trembled as she looked from Kuriyo to Chris. “Did you know?” Her voice was a whisper, keeping her eye as the blonde began to rock back and forth in her chair.

“No…” Chris said, deciding to stand up. She didn’t know what was going on, but she wasn’t going to let this situation get any more escalated. “Kioku, listen I-”

All of a sudden, everyone’s communicator went off at once, as a familiar voice rang out over it. It was then that from above Souji saw the train cars begin to explode in an eruption of gore and screams.

~!~

_“Blue Line Metro will be departing momentarily.”_

“Just in time...heh.” Jeanne smiled to herself, the light of the station just over her head flickering heavily. “Just gotta... get back to my place.” She stumbled off of the wall she was leaning against, the pool of blood seeping into the cracks in the concrete. The ticket from the electronic kiosk clasped firmly in her hand. Her ticket to freedom.

The front car of the metro was busy, loud, and dirty, people working as quickly as they could to get off of it as fast as they could. There were a large assortment of happy people. Teens going out for a night on the town, weekend workers finally heading home, or just a vagabond with somewhere to be.

What bonded them all was how they treated her as if she didn’t even exist. Who could blame them? Certainly not her. Her jacket's hood was up, handkerchief pressed as tightly against her jaw as possible, and a lost look in her eye. It was the kind of look that people like her always had, and people like them could never bear to truly see. It was like peering into a black hole, or opening your eyes on the bottom of the ocean floor.

You could look all you want, but all you would ever see is the unflinching, all consuming nothingness. A void. That which no light could enter or permit.

So these people will turn their heads from her as she gets onto the train with the ticket she purchased with the last yen she had. And she would fall into her seat, back against the side of the metro, the window at her side. 

And the tram would start. And she would think about that hole in the ice. The hole in the ice where the light shined down, even upon her, in the darkest of depths. And she would think about the girl whose life she stole, the girl who never let go of her hand, even as she drove a knife into hers. The girl who she sent to the dark abyss where no light would ever reach.

And she would cry.

“I’m cold Mel. I’m so cold.”

_“Blue Line Metro is leaving the station.”_

And just like that, she was off.

She got away with murder.

She had done what Finé had told her to do. 

She had killed Tachibana Hibiki.

She was going to get Melody back.

She should have been happy. She should have been over the moon. She’d done it! Despite everything against her that there could possibly be, she had done it! She was going to get her baby sister back!

So why did she still feel so cold?

“Fuck!” She sobbed into her fist, trying her best to contain the breakdown. Heavy sobs rocked through her chest like a horrible cough. It was like her heart was trying to punch its way out of her. Trying its best to get away from the foul thing she had become. It made her feel dizzy and lightheaded, and she realized that she really was bleeding quite a lot.

“Why are you crying?”

The voice was so impossibly small and innocent. And it belonged to an impossibly small and innocent girl. When she first saw her she thought it was Melody and that her wish had truly been granted, but this girl was different. She had light brown hair, and a stuffed animal under one arm. It wasn’t Melody, but the resemblance was fucking uncanny.

“What are you doing?” A mean looking woman grabbed the girl by the wrist. “Didn’t I tell you not to talk to the homeless?” Her words were laced with liquid venom.

“But mommy…”

“Listen to your mother! Don’t give them money, they’ll just use it for booze.” The mother reprimanded the girl, who just clutched her white teddy bear closer to her

“Hey Albert.” Jeanne said deliriously. “How’s Serena doing?” She couldn’t stop from laughing as she said it, pain shooting through her chest as she did so.

“Don’t talk to my daughter.” The mean looking mother said, grabbing the child by the hand and pulling her to the other end of the train car.

“But his name is not Albert Mama, it’s Kero!” The girl protested to her mother, already forgetting the forgettable girl.

“Serena…” Jeanne spoke softly. “What was the magic spell Maria cast again?” She thought back. Back to a time where the most assured and real thing in the world was Melody right next to her.

“That’s right… I remember now.” Her hand fell from her cheek, and the handkerchief fell with it. Gasps emerged throughout the tram the hole in her jaw now a dark brown with blood and hanging flesh.

“What’s wrong with her face?”

“Is that blood?”

“I wish they wouldn’t let people like her onto these things.”

She shut their voices out. Shut them out and locked away the key. “Owie owie bye bye.” She cast the magic spell, kissing her fingers and pressing it to the hole in her face.

“She smells like a wet dog.”

“Should we call the authorities?”

“Owie owie bye bye.” She cast her magic spell again, touching the hole in her knee. Not that she could feel it anymore. She couldn’t feel that leg at all anymore really.

The spell really did work fast.

“What’s wrong with her eye?”

“Condamnée-san?” 

She knew that voice…

It was familiar…

“Takashi?” She breathed out, her eyelid trembling as she struggled to keep it open. But yet, there he was. Takashi Saeki. The man who fired her days before the new year. The man who cast her aside, like a piece of unwanted garbage.

“What are you doing here? My goodness, what happened to you?” The old man was just as loud and bossy as he ever was. Why couldn’t he just go away?

“I’m casting magic spells, Takashi.” She said with a laugh. “This one makes the pain go away.” She opened her coat, her shirt soaked in blood from where Ogawa’s bullet had ripped through her heart.

“Oh my god!” Takashi took a step back in shock. The blood that had been pooling under the girl began to drip off the seat and onto the rest of the tram.

“Holy shit! Someone call an ambulance!”

“I don’t need an ambulance, sillies.” Jeanne said assuredly, waving her hand at the increasingly horrified crowd.

“Mommy…” The little girl with the white teddy bear hid behind her mother.

“Owie owie bye bye.” Jeanne whispered, just under her heart, a gasp escaping her. “Owie Owie bye bye.” She pushed her fingers against the wound harder, her finger slipping into the orifice in an almost sexual manner. “Owie owie bye bye…” Her voice drifted off, her head going slack.

“Condamnée-san...”

“Should we pull the emergency brake?” 

“Mommy, is she dead?” 

“Huh…” Jeanne breathed out with a disappointed laugh. “My magic spells didn’t work…”

“Condamnée-san, what the hell happened to you?” Takashi kneeled next to her, a grave expression on his face. 

“I guess there really isn’t any magic left in the world…” Her head drifted up, looking at the ceiling of the tram like it was the most curious thing in the world. “I’m so cold Mel. I’m so fucking cold.” She closed her eye, wishing for nothing more than to feel warm again.

_“Jeanne?”_

A voice called out...somewhere far away.

She opened her eyes, and she was on the train still. But there wasn’t Takashi, there wasn’t Kero, there wasn’t even any blood. Just the train, the blinding light outside of it, and at the very end of it was her.

Her Melody.

“Mel?” Jeanne whispered through tears. She tried to stand but her feet gave out from under her. It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t...was it?

_If I can come back from the dead, why can’t she?_

“Jeanne!” Melody called out, at last seeing her. Eyes bright and full of life, she ran for her, even as Jeanne’s own legs failed to hold her weight. She fell forward, but Melody was there, catching her in her arms like she had so many years ago when she lost her eye. “Jeanne! I missed you so much! What’s happening? Where are we?”

“Mel? Melody, is it…” Her clothes were so soft under her fingers. Her neck was warm against her cheeks. Her hair smelled like flowers and croque madame, and she was still small. Just as small as she was all those years ago on Christmas Day, but now so much warmer than she was then. “Is it really you?” She whispered, dreading the other shoe she felt would drop. “Did she keep her word?”

“You’re so cold Jeanne…” Melody leaned back from the embrace, taking her older sister's face in her hands. “I don’t know what’s happening, but…” She had a determined look in her face now. “It’s gonna be okay! I promise!” She said with all the same enthusiasm she always had.

The same enthusiasm from the orphanage. From the fields in France. From the streets of Japan. From her memory. From her dreams. From her nightmares. From her sister.

“Mel...oh god, _I missed you so much_!” Jeanne sobbed, wrapping her in her arms. She’d never let go again. She would never ever let go again. “I’m so sorry Melody. Big sis has to do such horrible things to get you back. I’m never letting you go ever again!” She swore into her, gasping as she felt her sisters very real hands tightened to return the embrace.

“It’s okay sis!” Melody said, even as she crushed her in her arms. “You always did so much for me! Now I get to do stuff for you.” 

For the first time in years, the two sisters embraced. The train moving on as always, its passengers reunited at long, long last.

“Please forgive me, Melody.” Jeanne begged her. “Please don’t hate me for what I had to do to get you back.” She whispered in her ear. She had already been shot in the heart, she knew she could not take another wound.

“Owie owie bye bye!” Melody said, placing her hand over Jeanne’s heart. “Magic spell! Big sis has to stop feeling so bad for herself!” Her smile was kind, older than she was. “I forgive you sis.”

_Never forgive._

“I had to kill somebody…” Jeanne confessed. The image of Hibiki’s body falling beneath the surface haunting her every thought.

_Never forget._

“You… killed someone for me?” Melody whispered in stunned silence. 

Jeanne could only nod. “I had to. It was the only way to get you back.” She said, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I don’t know if I can live with myself.” She closed her eyes, feeling the hottest shame take her over completely. “I had to kill her.”

_Never let go of the hate in your heart._

“Yeah… you did.” Melody said, lips turning blue. “And ya didn’t.” 

~!~

“ _Here! I’m here! Quickly! Quickly!”_

God.

Was he in time?

It wasn’t because of the frozen lake that he was shaking to his core. It wasn’t because it was the middle of January and all he had on was a blood soaked undershirt because he used his jacket, tie and button up as makeshift tourniquets. It wasn’t even because of just how much blood was on his hands, chest and face.

It was because of Hibiki.

He should have been quicker. He should have ran out of that apartment. The second the Commander called him from his car phone to let him know Hibiki was traveling on foot. But no. He had waited. He had waited up there uselessly. Waited up there pointlessly. Waiting politely inside their apartment like the world's most useless man. What would have happened had he not discovered the tape on their patio doors lock? Would he have stayed up there as Hibiki drowned?

“Hibiki-san…” Ogawa breathed out, tears stinging at his eyes. The frantic driving of the ambulance through the city streets made him feel like he was flying. Not even really there, just astral projecting. Even as the ambulance technicians moved around the car with ease and skill, he could not unsee Hibiki. Covered in blood, ice, and fear.

He had to make the call.

“This is Ogawa. I have Hibiki-san.” He swallowed the lump in his throat, keeping his voice as even as he could. He was not an emotional man. Why was he crying so?

“Ogawa! This is Kashiyami, what’s her status?” Business as usual, as Kashiyami so often was. Best to get the full situation and awareness before making any decision whatsoever.

“Ogawa!” Genjuro’s voice came, almost drowned out by the sound of a helicopter. “What is your situation?” He was yelling, he must not have heard Ogawa’s tone.

“Where are you, Ogawa-san?” Was the voice of Tsubasa, and for a moment he felt blessed. Her voice was as clear and concise as could be. She had heard him. And just like she always did, she saw right through any trick he might try to hide his composure. He didn’t even have glasses to give himself away this time.

“Hibiki was attacked in _Marigold Park._ ” He answered. “She’s alive, but in critical condition, she-”

“ _What the hell was that?”_ Kashiyami shouted, the sounds brakes squealing and several explosions came over the communicator in terrifying clarity, and then there was nothing.Several agonizing long moments of silence followed, Ogawa holding his breath before he heard, “ _Get away from the door...!”_ From Kashiyami through a bad reception.

“Kashiyami?” Genjuro’s voice called out. “Are you there?”

The sound of static silence was all the answer for several more moments.

And then as the technicians tried to drain the blood from Hibiki’s lungs, all Ogawa could hear on the other end of the comms were screams. “Kashiyami!” He shouted into the communicator, the ambulance rattling from an unknown source.

Dreadfully, Ogawa looked out the back windows of the vehicle. Even from here, he could see the night sky be lit up by the exploding _Blue Line Metro._

~!~

She watched Melody take a step back, shaking her head, looking confused. “Sis...what’s happening?”

“No, no, no. This wasn’t part of the deal.” Jeanne said, walking on her knees and gripping her sister’s shoulders. “I killed her. I kill her and you come back, that was the deal!” She said defiantly, feeling her sister grow colder in her hands.

“Jeanne, I…” Her sister’s voice faded out, another voice coming in.

“Nope. Turns out you really can’t do anything right, can you?” Her sister’s head tilted, smiling at her devilishly. The smirk was that of a demon, and the eyes were as yellow as all the ones she had seen in her worst nightmares. “Your lack of resolve to take her life dulled your blade.”

“I killed her.” Jeanne whispered angrily. “Godamnit you bitch, I killed her!” She shouted in her sister’s face, exorcising the spirit temporarily.

“Jeanne, what’s happening? I’m scared!” Melody looked around in sheer terror. She was growing colder by the touch, and it was then Melody saw it. The slow creep of blue going from Melody’s fingers, up her hands, wrists and arms. “Jeanne! What’s happening to me?” Melody said through tears, looking at her hands in horror.

“No!” Jeanne wailed. “This isn’t fair! I gave you what you wanted!” She screamed to everyone in heaven and everyone in hell. She grabbed Melody in the fiercest hug she had ever given anyone in her life and stood under her own power, not willing to let her go, not even for a second. “You’re not taking her twice. Take me instead!”

Her voice roared in the train. It seemed to be getting louder. Faster. The blinding light outside turned darker as they continued traveling through oblivion. 

“We had a deal.” A voice using Melody’s lips said in her ear. “Life for a life. You kill the girl, I bring her back.” She said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

Hands shaking, Jeanne slowly leaned back to look at her dearest sister in full. She was blue as the day she died, her eyes a sickening disgusting yellow looking back at her. “You didn’t live up to your end of the bargain.”

“Please…” Jeanne pleaded to the demon. “I’m begging you. I can still do it. I can still make it right. Please.” She whispered it like a prayer. “Don’t take her twice.”

The yellow eyed demon seemed to consider for a moment, before giving her the world’s sweetest smile. “Never forgive. Never forget.” She leaned in, whispering in her ear. “Never let go of the hate in your heart.”

“Please… please… take me instead. Don’t take her away.”

“It was your dream, to save your little sister, was it not?” 

“Yes…” Jeanne said, despair filling her.

“Then I guess this is what you call, a **_nightmare._ **”

“ _No!”_

“Jeanne…” The voice sounded ever so pleased with itself.

“Please!” Jeanne screamed shrilly in her sister’s face.

“You. Lost.” The monster occupying Melody said, before cunning yellow eyes became lifeless almond ones. Her body falling limp in Jeanne’s arms. Lips blue, cold to the touch, the once bright eyes full of youthful energy never seeing anything ever again.

“Mel…”

She couldn’t smell the croque madame now.

“Mel!”

She couldn’t smell anything now.

“Melody please!”

The vines spread throughout her body. Through her veins. Her heart was pumping a million miles an hour, pushing the bullet out of it as the vines dug deep into the organ like a disgusting parasite.

“Melody it’s Christmas! Please wake up!”

Veins pulsated up her neck, up her face. Veins digging into her brain, into the back of her eyes and down her spine.

“ _Melody!”_

~!~

“What the hell?!” 

Takashi landed on his ass. The roar of the train car’s vibration beneath his bottom as he stared at his former employee in abject horror. The girl he had welcomed all those months ago into his noodle shop against the better judgement of all his employees was nowhere to be seen in the **_Nightmare_** in front of him now.

Her feet barely touched the ground, levitating as if being hanged. Bones snapped beneath her flesh, tearing through her clothes. Her body twitched and surged, shoulders becoming broader, limbs becoming longer, veins pulsating, pulsating, _pulsating,_ **_pulsating._ **They surged up her arms, up her neck, in her face, down her chest and legs, bulging like pythons beneath her naked flesh.

She dropped to the floor, panting like a rabid beast. Foam dripping from the lips of her glasgow smile, her brown eyes became red as hell itself. Her bulging surging veins engorged, before popping like balloons; painting the train car and all its inhabitants in a thick shower of blood.

_“Oh my god!”_

_“What the hell is that thing?!”_

Where the veins had once been, red eyes from hell took their place. Embedded into her skin like an omniscient scar, others slithered out like a snake. The eyes bounced on their red retinas that fed like tendrils into her. They were hatefully red; angry and spiteful, sparing no one their gaze as they stood up like flowers.

Her hand slammed to the ground, dozens of her eyes swirling like piranhas around her, taking in the new sensations like a pack of starving dogs. But while they could see, the rest of the trains occupants could only hear. Hear the sound of tearing flesh as the hint of steel cut its way out of her right forearm. Like a great burden, the weight of the blade fell to the ground as it birthed out of her. Long, sharp, and made of beautiful bloody steel, but this was no sword.

It was the knife of a butcher.

“What the fuck is that!” 

Her flesh had become a sickly green, red pulsating veins running up and down her body like a racetrack, into the dinner plate sized eyes on her ribs and shoulder blades. Eyestalks emerged like little mushroomheads across her now much broader shoulders. Her palms held eyes from hell within them; attached by retinas to her left arm were dozens of eyes, like a grotesque Cat-O-Nine Tails. Her right arm had the butcher’s knife coming out of it like a sickly appendage, longer than most were tall.

The hair that once been cut so short to kill was now nothing but horrific veiny retinas. They lined her body in the closest form to clothing she had. The swirling red tendrils gave her the appearance of a horrible sickly mane of hair, but it did little to cover her one sealed eye. Beneath the closed lid was a heartbeat of anger and pain. Bulging like a cancer, about the burst at any second.

The train car was almost completely silent. Those who had tried to run for the door had stopped when they saw the creature had ceased its gruesome transformation. Everyone had pressed themselves against the sides of the car, deep into their seats, some even refusing to look at her.

The only sound was the wiggling sound of flesh as the eyestalks turned every which way to take the sights of the car in. Though they were animated in their movements, she had yet to move herself, the red eye stalks framing her sickly green body like a morbid rose bush.

Takashi was one of those who had pressed themselves against the steel of the car as flat as he could. The horrible sight threatened his sanity, his mind incapable of processing the monstrosity before him. He didn’t dare breathe, let alone speak or move. All he could do was stare at the _thing,_ the low wheezing coming from her foamy maw, the only human feature remaining.

“Mama, I’m scared.”

In a flash, every eye on the foul thing’s body turned to the back of the car, to the mother who had her hand clamped over her child’s mouth. A low whimpering coming from both of them, the mother unable to look, the child unable to look away.

**“Don’t be scared little girl.”**

It spoke. She spoke? It? She? It could hear. It could speak. It knew they were there. It knew they were _all_ there.

Takashi tried to slowly inch his way to the front of the train, away from the two doomed women. But an eye looked at him immediately. Red as blood, it stared into his soul with such hatred that he could hear his heart beat in his eardrums.

Only…

It wasn’t his heartbeat.

The one closed eye on the abomination pulsed in a sickening rhythm. The swelling growing beneath the sealed eyelid, an erratic heartbeat. Getting faster. Louder. Faster. Louder. It wasn’t in his head, it wasn’t in his ears, it was in all the train car. Deafening, like an organic orchestra as the heart beat fast enough there no way it wasn’t about to burst at any moment. It was like someone was driving knives into his ears, his head pulsing in anguish.

“Mommy make it stop! It hurts! It hurts!”

They began to shout and scream hysterically, the operatic heartbeat going a billion miles a minute within the confines of the train. The evil eye swelled, getting bigger, _bigger_ , and **_bigger_ **.

And then the evil eye opened.

**_"Owie Owie Bye-Bye."_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do tell me what you all think~


	14. Your Faith is Rewarded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much apologies for the extended wait, here we have the next exciting journey on everyones night on the town! They have a gay old time!

_“Hey Miku, do you think you’ll ever get married?”_

_“Huh?” Miku flushed red with embarrassment at the sudden question. “Why do you ask?” She asked, not certain why she felt suddenly so bashful._

_“Because you’re so pretty!” Hibiki exclaimed. Beaming, she put her arm around Miku’s shoulder as they walked home from school. “You’d look so pretty in one of those!” She pointed at the display window across the street. In it were elaborate foreign dresses made for women far older than either of them. The way the fabric hugged the mannequin's curves made Miku feel odd in a strangely pleasant way._

_“You always say such silly things!” Miku swatted her gently. Despite that, Hibiki just smiled at her as bright as a shining sun. Hibiki was always like this, even when holding her school bag that was graffitied with horrible abuse from the horrible people who hated Hibiki in this town. She wished more than anything in the world that everyone could see just how badly they were treating Hibiki. She wished they could see just how much this girl smiled in the face of all the pain they threw at her. She wished they could just stop hurting her friend._

_“It’s not silly!” Hibiki protested. “You’re the prettiest girl in the whole school, that’s a fact!” She said with an aura of superiority, her chin up high. Miku could feel her heart skipping a beat._

_“Nuh uh, you are, Hibiki!” Miku responded. But right away, she could tell she had said something wrong from the look on Hibiki’s face._

_“No, I’m not.” She stated, and started to walk forward head downcast._

_Miku drew her shoulders in on herself in shame. She had done it again. She had said something inconsiderate and hurt Hibiki’s feelings just like she used too all the time. She needed to get better. Why couldn’t she get better?_

_“Hibiki!” She said just as sudden as the other girl had. “What about you? Do you think you’ll ever get married?” Her heart was racing at the possible answer, but she had no idea why._

_Hibiki’s face seemed to glow at the idea. Eyes swimming with warmth as no doubt endless ideas of her walking down the aisle with someone. Someone who would love her, and dance with her and kiss her, and stand up to her dad for her. Someone who was nice, and kind, and not inconsiderate and spiteful._

_But just as Miku’s thoughts raced, so did Hibiki’s, the look of excitement drowning out of her face. “I’ll never get married.” Was all she said, walking across the street like she was sleep walking._

_She’d done it again!_

_She tried to make it better and she did it again!_

_Why was it that she only hurt Hibiki?_

_“Then I’ll never get married too!” Miku shouted. Running up beside her and wrapping their arms up together, Miku marched right alongside her shining sun. “We’ll both not be married together!”_

_“Miku!” Hibiki looked at her gobsmacked. “Now you’re the one saying silly things!” She was red in the face, and Miku could not help but find it impossibly adorable._

_“It’s not silly.” She said with an aura of superiority, her chin up high. “It’s a fact.” Closing her eyes as she walked, she peeked at Hibiki’s blushing face, and both girls burst out laughing._

~!~

_“This is Ogawa. I have Hibiki-san.”_

Six words.

Six words that started her heart again.

_“Hibiki!”_

Miku shot up in a cold sweat, hands clutching at broken glass and twisting metal, searching in vain for the hands she might not ever be able to hold again. 

Where was she? 

What happened? 

Her eyes strained as a bright orange light filled the room, before plunging it back into darkness once more. It hurt her eyes, but it just made her all the more aware of what she could feel. Her back lit up with a rush of endorphins as she sat up and it was not hard to see why. She’d been lying on a jagged piece of metal from the tram, forced upwards like a knife from where the train derailed. It was caked in blood, but the rational part of her brain told her it was not her own. If she had been impaled on that thing, she would have died in an instant. She remembered how she and Hibiki had purchased an acupressure mat to help with some workout pains, and this feeling was exactly like that. She must have rolled over onto it somehow.

Her head was pounding, trying to piece together everything that had happened so quickly. She remembered those six words. She remembered Ogawa saying Hibiki was alive, but in critical condition. The words had barely reached them when the entire train shook with a horrible explosion. Kashiyami had tried to get them away from the door, when a great light as bright as day filled the outside of the train. It had flown right off the tracks, and Miku wondered if they had somehow been nuked.

“Easy, easy now.” She heard a familiar voice say to someone crying in the dark. The bright orange flashing light lit up the end of the train car where Kashiyami was affixing a tourniquet onto Iwasawa. The SONG agent looked to be in terrible shape; her pink hair was soaked in blood, one of her eyes completely swollen shut, with her right arm hung at her side broken.

 _“Shit!”_ Iwasawa’s voice was filled with tears. She didn’t look to be in much better shape, her leg bent at an odd angle that made Miku’s stomach flip. Even in the blinking light of the train, she could see the improvised bandage Kashiyami must have tied around the girls head to stop the bleeding. “Fuck that hurts so much.” Kashiyami was doing her best to secure a tourniquet around her thigh.

“I know, but you’re doing wonderfully. Just hold that there so we can stop the bleeding.” She used a motherly voice to calm the girl, who was fighting through tears. “Just put your hand there, that’s right. You’re doing amazing. This is going to sting okay?” Kashiyami said honestly, using her left hand to pull the knot tight.

 _“FUCK!”_ Iwasawa sobbed, tears streaming down her face.

“Worst part is over okay?” Kashiyami reassured her, giving a kiss to her forehead. It was a sweet gesture, and despite being well into her twenties, it seemed to calm the girl down as it would a child.

It was then that Miku noticed her.

“Chris!” Miku saw her lying against the wall, motionless. She kicked herself off the floor, tearing her shirt in the process as she turned Chris over onto her back. Her hair was soaked in blood, and unfocused eyes stared up at her, groaning in a sickening register. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Chris, can you hear me?” She placed her hand gently on her face, terrified to do anything to potentially exacerbate the situation.

_Not you too. Please. Please god don’t take her too._

Hibiki and Chris. Chris and Hibiki. The two people in her life she cared about the most were now possibly maybe… no. She couldn’t think about that. She could not think about that now. This was bad. This was so bad. “It’s gonna be okay Chris.” Miku whispered, thankful for the breath she felt coming out of the girl's mouth. “Don’t you leave me okay? Don’t you dare leave me alone.” She couldn’t stop the tears, just like she couldn’t stop any of this from happening. She was just as helpless against her own emotions as she was to whatever derailed this train.

_Hibiki can’t save me this time._

“Chris,” She whispered into her ear. “You have ten minutes you got that? Ten minutes so I can make sure everyone else is okay. Then we are getting the hell out of here.” She closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears from falling, giving a soft kiss to the girl’s cheek. “You still owe me a concert goddamnit.”

She could barely stand, only just now realizing the train had completely flipped upside down. The hissing sound of steam somewhere far off made it difficult to hear the sirens in the distance. She was pretty sure she could even dimly hear running water nearby, and a wave of heat close enough that felt like she was in front of a furnace.

“Is she alive?” Kashiyami whispered. She hobbled over, looking little better than Chris did. Miku nodded, not trusting herself to speak lest she somehow jynx Chris’s condition. Kashiyami sat next to Chris, pushing the hair out of her eyes and started asking questions. Questions like: “Where was she?” or “Who was the prime minister?” All of which got no response whatsoever, even when she shined a pen light into her eyes. “She has a severe concussion that’s for sure. I’m going to see if I can stop the bleeding.”

“Put her on her side!” Miku shouted loudly. A flush of embarrassment filled her cheeks. She couldn’t help but almost feel like a little kid compared to Kashiyami, who despite her severe injuries was very composed. “My track coach said that you can drown in your vomit if you hit your head too hard or have a seizure...” The words sounded stupid and childish, but Kashiyami just looked at her with a warm kindness.

“That’s a good idea Miku, thank you.” The words felt like a blanket, wrapping around her and making sure she knew that everything was going to be okay. “Are you hurt? Are you bleeding anywhere?” She asked gently, using her good arm to roll Chris onto her side.

“No, I'm fine,” Miku said without really knowing. She patted herself down, shocked to find her own bare stomach. The bottom half of her shirt must have gotten torn off in the crash, but she didn’t seem to be hurt at the very least. Eyes scanning where she’d been laying on the jagged piece of metal, she saw pieces of her tattered shirt on the scrap. The fabric had been stretched and ripped up and down it, in perfect symmetry with the massive pool of blood.

She read before how sometimes someone could suffer an injury so severe, that they could not even register it until they saw visible evidence of it. Looking at the piece of metal gave her a phantom pain to her lower back, but when her hands went there, there was no scar, no cut, not even blood.

Like it had never happened.

Miku gulped, dropping the piece of fabric and trying to piece together everything that happened. Hibiki was hurt, maybe dying. Chris was hurt, maybe dying. Iwasawa, Kashiyami, both were hurt, possibly dying. Souji was nowhere to be found, yet somehow, she was perfectly fine, but where was everyone else?

_How am I not dead?_

Dread crept into her like an unwelcome visitor and she felt so very, very, small. She didn’t want to be out here anymore. She wanted to just curl up and wait for Hibiki to come in, punch out whatever was threatening her, and hold her in her arms. She’d let her heartbeat beat alongside the song in Hibiki’s heart and she could fool herself for just a minute that she was worth saving in the first place.

_“Hibiki was attacked in Marigold Park. She’s alive, but in critical condition.”_

The shaking that was consuming her slowed to dull tremor. Slowly, she steadied her breath, flexing her fingers and standing up from the kneeling position she had found herself in. This was bad. Everything about this was bad. But she wasn’t hurt and other people were. Including Hibiki. Including Chris. She had no time to feel sorry for herself.

It was on her to protect people now.

She readied her eyes for the next bright orange flash. She reasoned it was likely a nearby construction light, and when it next filled the train car she saw Kioku lying awkwardly on her neck.

Watching her steps on the glass and metal, she made her way over to the blonde. Being careful to hold her steady, she set her right side up, Kioku already stirring with confused eyes. “Urrrrrrrrrrghomygod.” Kioku slurred, before vomiting out blood in a violent torrent. 

“Kioku! Easy!” Miku said, putting a hand to the girl’s shoulder to keep her from keeling over completely. She was clutching at her stomach painfully and was shaking considerably. 

“Miku...what happened?” She was deathly pale, looking around the car. “Oh what a fucking mess.” She went slack in Miku’s arms for a minute, but shook herself back awake.

“Easy. Take it easy.” Miku turned her head back. “Kashiyami?” She could see the agent adjusting Chris’s hair with her one good arm, before turning around to look at her with her one open eye.

“Where does it hurt?” Kashiyami asked, hobbling over to her.

“I feel like someone punched my uterus with my stomach.” Kashiyami said as she spat blood out of her mouth. “Fuck it fucking hurts.” 

“It’ll be okay.” Miku rubbed up and down her back, meeting Kashiyami’s eyes. “Is Chris okay?”

“Lights are on but nobody’s home.” Kashiyami said, looking over her shoulder to where Iwasawa was still laid against the back of the train cars wall. “She’s worse off. Gotta hope evac gets here quick.” There was an edge to her voice that Miku didn’t like, but before she pursued any further she saw movement towards the top of the car.

“Yumi?” Miku asked, carefully stepping over Kioku. Up at the top of the car she saw Yumi, clutching at her shoulder which had a large glass shard sticking out of it, Kuriyo holding onto her hand gently.

“I know it hurts, but you gotta leave it in for now okay?” Kuriyo said reassuredly, whose entire face was covered in blood..

“Kuriyo!” Miku said loudly, smiling with relief.

“Miku!” Kuriyo exclaimed, looking just as relieved as she was. “Shiori’s hurt bad.” She jerked her thumb behind her to show the blonde girl slumped against the wall. She kept her hand on Yumi’s hips, guiding her to Miku slowly. “Is everyone else alright?”

“Chris is unconscious.” Miku responded reluctantly. “Everyone else is awake, but hurt badly. Kashiyami said that they should be sending a rescue team.” She wanted to bite her tongue when she said it.

She was starting to realize the same problem that Kashiyami had.

Something had blown up the train. Something had derailed them entirely, on the same day that someone attacked Hibiki. Of the four people who were capable of fighting any type of threat, Souji was missing, Chris was completely useless, Kashiyami was not much better, and Miku lacked _Shénshòujìng_ to do anything of worth.

They needed an evacuation. And quickly. Or they were gonna need a coroner instead.

“Is anyone else hurt?” Kashiyami asked loudly from where she was assisting Kioku against the side of the traincar wall. 

“Yeah!” Miku called over her shoulder, closing the gap between her and her school friends. “How badly are you hurt, Yumi?” She asked curtly, feeling an odd edge creep into her psyche. If she didn’t know any better, they were short on time.

“Nothing serious.” Kuriyo responded sincerely. “As long as you keep it held right there okay?” She said assuredly to her otaku friend. “Can you get Shiori?” Kuriyo asked, stumbling slightly. “Whoa...I guess I’m…” She put her hand to her hair, coming away wet with blood.

“Kuri-YOH!

Some **thing** large crashed onto the top of the train car. All three girls lost their footing, and Yumi stumbled several feet past Kashiyami and Kioku. Miku hit her knees hard, while Kuriyo landed against the side of the train car between two broken windows, narrowly avoiding hitting the back of her head.

_No._

Whatever landed on top of the car began to walk with deep steps that shook the entire car. With every foot fall, there was a horrific screeching sound of metal on metal. Sparks lit up the top most portions of the window as whatever was above them dragged whatever it had along the top of the train car. For an insane moment, Miku was certain her heart was about to burst out her ears, but no. Whatever was above them had a heartbeat loud enough to be heard through solid steel.

_No. No. No. No._

Miku knew. She knew, instinctively, intrinsically, emphatically _knew_ that this was what caused the explosion. And the horrid scraping sound that accompanied its outrageously large heartbeat felt like someone was pushing razor blades into her brain.

But the worst part wasn’t the sound of the scraping.

It was when the scraping stopped.

The ground beneath her shook as it dismounted the train car. All of a sudden it was like she was at the start of a race again. The whistle had been blown, all they were waiting for now was the sound of the gunshot. The laws of time were defied, as each nanosecond was stretched into infinity, and Miku became hyper aware of everything that was occurring around her.

She became aware of just how visible they all were within the traincar through the shattered windows. Of Iwawasa, unable to even walk at the front, hands over her mouth to stiffen her sobs. Of Yumi, who had curled up into a ball, trying to obscure herself from sight. Kashiyami, who had her hands clamped over a hysterical Kioku’s mouth, pinned against the wall of the traincar between two windows. Of Chris, on the opposite side of them all, unconscious and helpless to protect herself. Of Shiori, laying on the ground just as motionless as Chris, and even more defenseless.

And of Kuriyo, trapped against the wall between two windows, eyes wide with freshly awoken horror. Her breaths coming out in loud, short, frantic gasps. She was not just panicking, she was on the verge of a panic attack, completely frozen in fear, not even able to put her own hands over her mouth to save her life.

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Kuriyo hang on I’m coming._

She crawled as fast as she could on her hands and knees, but like a deer in headlights, froze when she saw the legs of that **thing.** Dark green skin with pulsating red veins, and behind its back was a blade coming out of its forearm. As long and big as Miku was tall, it looked like a butcher’s knife, and it carved a trench in the concrete as if it was butter.

Miku frantically put her finger to her own lips, but Kuriyo wasn’t looking at her. Just looking ahead in a dead panic, her breaths getting shallower. Getting more high pitched, getting more lethal. If that thing’s heartbeat was not so loud it would have certainly heard her by now. But that did not stop it from moving closer to the train car, the trail of torment made in its path as it dragged its great knife. 

_Kuriyo please! Shut the fuck up! Please! I can save you just shut up for a second! Just a second!_

It turned left once it reached the train car, walking alongside it, passing Iwasawa, passing Kashiyami, passing the gap. So close to Kuriyo now, and now it was too close for Miku to be able to move closer. But it was close enough for Miku to see it had something in its hands. Something round. Something gooey. Something covered in blood and gore and it made her want to vomit where she knelt. 

It wasn’t hard to imagine that that was going to be Kuriyo’s head next.

Maybe if she ran for it. Right now. She was already in position. She could make a headline sprint away. It would chase after her, if it didn’t cut her in half instantly. It could give them all a shot, all a chance at the very least to get out of dodge. To get somewhere safe. Or at the very least give her a chance to lead it somewhere away from them, and after it had finished killing her would not return here, having lost interest.

Kohinata Miku was a track star. A runner. A _sprinter._ She could do it. She could absolutely save someone. Just this once.

It was then she saw the beast drop what it was holding.

It bounced like a ball, leaving a wet splat of blood in its wake. Rolling down the incline and through the busted door of the traincar. The bloody decapitated head of what was once a pure white teddy bear.

And now Kuriyo was no longer staring ahead. 

Now she was staring at the bear's head. Her face slowly recoiling in shock and horror, a scream trapped inside of her throat, and there was nothing Miku could do. The gunshot would not go off. She couldn’t move at all. She was paralyzed. A deer in headlights. Useless! Unable to save anyone! Even just one person!

 _“Hehaaaaohmy god how did it come to this?”_ Kioku’s hysteric voice snapped her out of her stupor.

_Kioku? What about-_

_“EAT THIS MOTHERFUCKER!”_

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

Three shots. Three hits.

The beast’s roar of pain shook the earth, granting Miku a precious second to pull Kuriyo away. It was then that she saw her: staring down the multi eyed abomination with a fire in her eyes as bright as the one just outside the train car, Kashiyami kept her gun trained on the monster. 

**“** **_Temper, temper.”_ **

It lunged at Kashiyami, who squeezed the trigger for the final time. As if time was slowing around her, Miku watched the bullet catch the beast right in the head. 

And still it continued forward.

Kashiyami had no chance.

Leaping with all her might to the side, the knife cut through her midsection with so much force it sent her spinning through the air like a missile. Landing with a sickening splat, Miku could see how the woman’s sides had exploded open from the attack, her intestines wrapping around her body like a party streamer.

“No…” Miku whimpered from the train car. Unable to look away from the surprised expression on Kashiyami’s face, as if she was shocked by the fact that she was still alive.

**_“Temper, temper!”_ **

The beast lunged again, its great knife slamming where the woman laid. Before the earth erupted beneath its thunderous strike Miku saw the blade bisect the woman in one foul swoop. Again the knife was raised, and slammed down, again, and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.

_I will do all that is within my power to ensure your well being._

Kashiyami had said those words to her and Hibiki. 

_“Would you like to reconsider your resignation, Kashiyami-kun?” Genjuro asked, looking pleased with himself._

“You were supposed to protect us.”

_"Can I ask that you two not do anything reckless?”_

Why couldn’t they make that promise?

_“Nope!”_

“Who was protecting you?” Miku asked, feeling all the shame in all the world descend on her like a biblical flood.

The beast slammed against the train car, black whip like tendrils slithering in and finding Kioku. “What? No! _No no no no no no!”_ Kioku screamed in terror as it pulled her out of the train.

“Kioku!” Miku shouted as she leapt through the air, feeling the girl’s blood covered hands slip through her fingers. Miku landed with a thud, neck inches from being impaled on a broken window shard, Kioku’s screams echoing outside.

“ _Help me! Help me!”_ Kioku shrieked as the whips ensnared. Wrapping around her face like a net, they began to pull tighter, like a fishing line that fed back into the beast's arm. It pulled tighter, and tighter, cutting through the girls clothes and skin. “ _Miku! Chris! Someone please don’t let me die!”_

“Kiokuuuuuuuuuuuu!” Miku sprinted out of the train at the beast. It was a hideous sight, full of eyes that were full of hate and they were all looking at her. It pulled back on the makeshift net that held Kioku, throwing her back in the air behind it, looking almost like she was going to use it as a flail, Kioku still screaming inside it.

Miku felt it then, someone coming, like a meteor.

 _“Here I come you freak!”_ She heard Souji’s voice come from above, the twisting whirlwind of flesh and steel slicing through the tendrils that held Kioku. He landed with force, skidding across the ground with his sword high above his head. “Get her out of here!” He called out as the beast roared in confusion, a loud heartbeat playing in their heads.

“Right!”

Simultaneously, Miku and Souji charged forward: Souji at the beast, Miku at Kioku. They should have been miles apart in speed, but whether she matched him, or he moved in sync with her, it did not matter. They were mirror images of each other, Miku’s feet gliding across the ground at blinding speed, the wind rising around Souji’s blade as he summoned strength into his katana.

The beast kicked off from where it stood, closing the distance between them in a second. Miku didn’t even wait for Souji to finish his command to drop, tucking her feet behind her back as she slid across the concrete on her knees, turning her face to avoid the beast's wide swing of its blade.

**_“DIE-DIE BYE-BYE!”_ **

Souji skated on air, backflipping over the knife’s horizontal swipe, letting momentum carry him right into the beast. “ _HOOOOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHH!”_ Souji roared as his blade sank into the beast's breast with a loud squelching sound.

Miku slid to Kioku’s side, quickly tearing the razor sharp net off the screaming girl. “Kioku! I’m here!” She shouted with authority, picking her up with strength she didn’t know she had, seeing the shadow of Souji backflipping off of the beast above her.

“ _Eyes on me you ugly prick!”_ Souji taunted callously. The beast lashed out with the same whip it had used on Kioku, but as it made contact with the samurai, dozens of after images of him appeared.

**_“LIAR!”_ **

“ _Made you look!”_ Souji descended from the heavens like a lightning bolt, sinking his blade into the beast's head, precision landing on its face.

**_“OWIE-OWIE BYE-BYE!”_ **

Night became day, as the heartbeat in Miku’s head became brainsplitting. A beam of powerful heat and energy erupted from the beast's head, the sheer force of which took her and Kioku off their feet as it fired it straight up. The stormy clouds above were blown apart, revealing the blue sky above as the beam faded, the red tatters of Souji’s coat the only proof of his existence left.

But there, standing in front the beast like the last angel holding close the gates of hell, was Souji. His coat was gone, but even with his back to her, she could see the power rippling in his back. He placed his foot behind him, hand on his sheathed blade, poised to strike.

She felt it then. Like all the air in the world was being sucked through a draft, centered on the hilt of his blade. There was energy that surged on the winds that he called upon, and it dawned on her that he was praying.

“A song of storms, a riddle of steel, hear the war I beat onto this drum, I pray your aid to cast out this scum!”

She felt it then. A tightness in her heart. A yearning, an admiration, an appreciation. To the small man who would, in his darkest hour cast out a final plea for help, so that he may still continue to stand where he stood, between those who could not protect themselves, and that which wished to harm them.

_Devotion. Your faith is rewarded my son._

The beast looked down at him, its evil eye closed as he drew his blade. A whirlwind of powerful thunder surged from around him, pushing the beast off balance. His strikes were a tornado, striking not once, not twice, but three times in sequence. The blade dug through its thigh, a river of blood erupting from its femoral artery. Undeterred by skin or bone, the second slash went from hip to shoulder, opening its chest up like a ziplock bag. But his hands would not lose his blade, the third and final slash tearing through its neck. Head recoiling as a geyser of blood erupted from where it had been nearly severed entirely.

Three strikes. 

Three hits.

Individual and simultaneous. 

A flash of lightning.

A prayer answered.

When the beast hit the ground Miku released the breath she didn’t know she was holding. Time, which had been so utterly motionless during the fight, seemed to return to its originally scheduled programming. She could feel the heat from the nearby fire again, smell the increasingly arid smoke that was filling the air, and feel the pain in her heart when her eyes came upon the teal jacket.

“Kashiyami-san…” Miku felt her voice croak, trying to stiffen a sob. She couldn’t bear to look at the hole in the ground that the monster had made.

“Kohinata.” She looked up at the hand that had been placed on her shoulder. “Are you hurt?” Souji asked her thoughtfully, looking worse than she felt.

“I’m okay. The others…” Miku turned around, seeing Kioku curled into a ball against the train car. 

“This is Souji in Sector 9. I’ve secured Kohinata and Yukine and their friends. I need emergency evacuation ASAP.” He spoke into the transceiver in his ear.

“Thank you.” Miku whispered under her breath.

“Let’s help the others.” He tried to stand, but his knee gave out under his weight. “Damn!”

“Are you okay?” She put a hand to his shoulder as if to catch him.

“Bit off more than I can chew there.” He said through gritted teeth. “I have no idea how I did that but…” He laughed through a grimace. “Beggars can’t be choosers.”

_Devotion. Your faith is rewarded my son._

Miku gulped trepidatiously, banishing the thought out of her head. No, she definitely did not have time to think about that. 

“We’ll get you help too.” Miku assured him, putting her shoulder under his and helping him stand.

“Aren’t I supposed to be protecting you?” He laughed as she supported him to the train car. “Shinji will never let me hear the end of th-” He turned on a dime, throwing Miku behind him as his hands found his blade. “Never a dull day.”

“Wha…” Her eyes scanned the battlefield and she understood immediately. The beast was still breathing, still panting. But it was not slowing down to a halt, it was _steadying._

“It has a healing factor.” Souji said as if reading the weather.. The wounds that had been so utterly fatal were sealing shut. Its head was reattaching. Its eyes reopening. Its heart, which had trickled down to a low tremor, now returned with a deafening chorus. A rhythmic assault on the senses. It beat like a horrendous war drum within her skull as the beast began to twitch and stir.

“Is Yukine able to fight?” Souji asked, and then looked over his shoulder to her. “Are you?”

Miku couldn’t keep her eyes away from the beast as it tried to get its legs under itself. “I don’t have my Gear...Chris is knocked out.” She said slowly realizing how fucked they were.

“I suppose it can’t be helped.” Souji put his finger to ear. “Souji to all points: I am facing down a supernatural threat. I have no means of combating it at all. Requesting support.” The beast twitched upwards, its knife flailing around and caving in the ground beneath it. “Now would be good.”

**_“Jeannnnnnnne...”_ **

Miku’s blood ran cold. 

The voice didn’t come from that thing. It didn’t come from that thing. It didn’t come from that thing. It came from behind her. It came from behind her it came from behin-

**_“Jeannnnnne…”_ **

If she didn’t look behind her it wasn’t real. If she didn’t look behind her it wasn't real. If she didn’t look behind her it wasn’t fucking real oh god how could any of this be real?

“Oh god...Oh god!”

Kuriyo.

Miku’s head snapped back in attention, helpless but to watch her friend faint into Yumi’s arms at the sight before her. The gooey gorey head of the decapitated teddy bear was growing out of the ground like a magic beanstalk. Orange pulsating eyes found her as it opened its stitched mouth and spoke in that same insidiously demonic voice.

**_“No sleeping on the job ‘sis!”_ **

The beast-no, _Jeanne_ rose like a puppet on strings, her shadow enveloping them all like a blanket. Every single eye on her horrid body focusing on a different potential target, the heartbeat trumpeting in Miku’s head loud enough she felt like her head was going to explode.

 _“Get them out of here!”_ Souji barked, dashing forward. The two blades struck each other in a flash of light, his katana shattering into hundreds of little pieces. “You-” Was all he got out before Jeanne’s kick caught him mid recovery. The impact was as loud as a cannonball, sending the samurai into the flames behind the beast.

And now there was no one who could help them.

**_“You. Lost.”_ **

“Stop it!” Someone screamed shrilly. “Stop it, just stop it! _Stop it!”_ It was her. Miku was screaming. And now she was staring right at the monster known as Jeanne, as it tilted its head at her. Considering her like a lion would its meals. This was the first time she got to get a good look at the creature's face, and despite its grotesque and horrifying appearance, Miku could see the resemblance of **_something_ ** that looked like acknowledgement beneath.

**_“I can still make it right.”_ **

Its words sounded lost, frightened almost, like it was a plea.

“Yes...you can.” Miku said trepidatiously. “It's okay.” She smiled warmly at the beast, holding her hands out to show she had nothing up her sleeve. She could feel the others move behind her, and could only pray Yumi was getting Kioku back in the train. “I’ll help you. I’ll help you make it right.”

She took a step forward, her foot breaking through the thin ice that lay within the shadow. “Ah!” She screamed as she saw that in a single step she sunk thigh deep into something impossible. In the shadow of the beast was not concrete, but ice, and beneath it was a horrible orange eye that she had sunk her foot into like it was quick sand.

**_“I can get you help if you need it.”_ **

But it wasn’t Jeanne’s voice that mocked her this time. It was _Hibiki’s._

She stopped struggling in the pulsing eye that had consumed her leg and looked up, realization setting in as the voice continued its heckling. 

**_“It’s like my dad always says.”_ **

Still Hibiki’s voice, but now it was putting its hand on its hips, as if proud. 

**_“It’s All Right. Everything is just fine.”_ **

Her heart fucking stopped as it sunk in.

“You…” Miku’s voice shook with shock and anger. “You tried to kill Hibiki, didn’t you?”

The beast that the teddy bear head called Jeanne looked her right in the eye. Even with the massive pulsating heartbeat like mass on its head, she could _feel_ it smirking at her. Mocking her. Mocking Hibiki.

Something moved beneath the shadow, pounding at the thin ice. Pounding, pounding until finally a hand burst through, white as bone and with a massive hole in the palm like some kind of sick stigmata. It pulled itself out of the ice, and she recognized the wet chestnut hair. Its hollow eyes, decayed flesh and horrid stare, there was no other word for it. It was a zombie.

Her shining sun was a zombie.

**_“See? All better!”_ **

Jeanne’s voice was coy, taunting, like a mean little kid that knew a horrible secret and was lording it over you.

“You…” She felt like she was exploding. The heartbeat in her chest was a million miles an hour. The heartbeat in her throat was a billion miles an hour. The heartbeat in her head was a trillion miles an hour. “ _You!!!”_

**_“Me?”_ **

The false Hibiki put its hand on its chest. 

**_“I’m so cold Miku. Won't you warm me up?”_ **

Something broke inside of her.

 _“You son of a bitch!”_ She planted her heel against the ice and tore her leg out of the eye that held her in like a cephalopod. She sprinted right at her undead girlfriend, bloodlust in her eyes. She closed the gap and reeled her leg back, before punting the zombie’s head off, her foot cracking through its teeth as it flew towards Jeanne like a missile.

Jeanne caught it in her palm like a baseball, crushing her underling’s skull in one hand. The red eyes burned with just as much hatred for Miku as Miku had for her.

**_“I can still make it right. I will make it right.”_ **

It threw its blade arm backwards and launched itself at her. 

**_“LIFE FOR A LIFE!”_ **

In seconds Miku saw her fatal mistake. Souji’s blade had cut into her deep, striking at vital arteries, and all but disabling the beast. Though a mountain it may have been, its wounds had not healed as fast as they had thought. It had lured Souji in like a moth to the flame, and enveloped Miku in its shadow, like a bug in a web. And throughout it all it had been healing, regenerating. Not back to where it was before, no; but now bigger, stronger, and as it closed the gap, much, much, faster.

She always knew she deserved to die.

She thought she’d be more scared.

Or at the very least relieved.

But as the blade came for her throat…

All she could think was…

_I can’t die…_

Her shining sun.

_Who will take care of Hibiki?_

~!~

_Miku watched her for just a few minutes more, making sure she had finally fallen asleep. She tiptoed out of the room, leaving the door open just a smidge so that a bright little line of light would light up the poor girl._

_She let go of the breath she didn’t know she was holding. It had been a horrendous day at school for Hibiki and it was all her fault. Everyone was always reluctant to start anything with her if Miku stuck to her like glue, and that had been working so far. But somehow she still found a way to screw it up and put Hibiki in danger._

_Again._

_She had forgotten her gloves next to her desk in class and had run back to get it. It should have taken maybe thirty seconds. Thirty seconds to jog back to class and get her gloves. Thirty seconds for Hibiki to be entirely alone._

_“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!” Miku pushed her former track teammate off a helpless Hibiki. She was in a tight ball, sobbing uncontrollably from the beatdown from the taller girl._

_“What's your problem?” Her trackmate seethed, glaring daggers into Miku's eyes._

_Miku draped herself over Hibiki, getting her shoulder under her arm and helping her up. “It’s okay Hibiki, let’s go.”_

_“Hey!” A hand grabbed at her sleeve and she swatted it away, harsher then she intended. Her trackmate looked stunned at this, the feeling of betrayal etched onto her face. “You’re taking her side?”_

_Miku didn’t say anything. She couldn’t meet the girl's eyes. She knew she had lost her little brother in the concert attack that Hibiki survived. But she couldn’t think about that now. She just had to get Hibiki home. She had to take care of her._

_“Kohinata.” Her last name was used like a threat. “Just leave it.” The other four girls were just as imposing as the Noise were._

_“Please just let me by.”_

_“Or what?” The leader chided. “You gonna do something?”_

_~!~_

The blade stopped a centimeter from decapitating her.

_“Don’t you turn your back on me.”_

Jeanne was frozen in mid air, and behind her Miku saw the fragmented katana handle embedded in the beast's shadow. 

From the flames Souji leaped at the paralyzed beast. “ _HERE I COME YOU FREAK!”_ He was a man on fire, with a fist of flame that connected right into Jeanne’s evil eye. A wet squishy sound like a bunch of grapes being smashed accompanied the hit as it sent the beast spinning out of his **_Shadow Weave._ **

But she could see the future.

Souji was strong.

So was Kashiyami.

And though his body was aflame, and his spirit strong, it wouldn’t be enough. Jeanne was already back on her feet and dashed at him, and the samurai dodged the blade by the barest of inches. Jeanne was so much, much, much, more powerful than Souji could ever be.

But was she fast enough?

_“You gonna do something?”_

Miku felt the wind of Jeanne’s failed strike reach her, cutting her cheek from the sheer power of it. The wrath of this monster, this creature from her worst nightmares. This beast that had tried to kill Hibiki. That had killed Kashiyami. That was trying to kill them all. With her horrible eyes and reality warping shadows. She was so strong. So much stronger than Miku.

But…

Was she fast enough?

The space of time at the start of a race between the whistle being blown and the gun being shot off could stretch the fabric of all of space and time. This was that same moment. The moment she looked into those horrible eyes. And the horrible eyes looked into hers. The horrible eyes that had tried in vain to kill Hibiki. The horrible eyes that needed to still make it right. The horrible eyes that still wanted to kill Hibiki. The horrible eyes that still **needed** to kill Hibiki.

And then the gun went off.

“Souji! Hold her off! I’ll go save Hibiki!”

Miku moved like the wind, her legs carrying her like they had never done before. Sprinting like it was the last precious seconds of a race, past the fire, between the buildings, the street just in sight. 

But this was a race.

And she was in first place.

And she could feel it.

The person in second place.

The beast.

Taking her bait, away from Souji, away from Kioku, from Chris, from Kuriyo, from Shiori, from Yumi, from Iwasawa, from everyone. She would be the one to save somebody this time. Even if she only got to do it this one final time.

She _was_ fast enough.

~!~

Tsubasa soared like a hawk down the long winding highway. The second bright orange flash lit up the night sky, a powerful pillar of energy that reminded her of the infinite power of _Durandel._ It put wind in her sails, _Ame no Habakiri_ pushing her motorcycle far beyond the limits it would normally be restricted by. Someone was attacking them, either independently or in coordination. Tachiban-no, Hibiki had already nearly lost her life. And now someone was attacking Kohinata and Yukine.

They had all been so close together when it all started. If only they had a chance to group up. But there was no use in putting the blame on each other now. Now there was only use in putting a blade to those who would dare hurt those she would die to protect.

Three enormous lightning strikes roared throughout the night sky. As if summoned ,they struck in the same vicinity that the second orange flash had come from. Tsubasa’s heart trembled for just a moment, when the welcoming voice of Ogawa’s brother came over the coms.

_“This is Souji in Sector 9. I’ve secured Kohinata and Yukine. I need emergency evacuation ASAP.”_

Tsubasa hit the brakes hard in the middle of the highway, bucking her back wheel up like a bronco. She’d need to turn around and take an exit to get there. She knew Souji well, as he had trained often with her in how to handle a blade with the respect and authority it deserved. If he was talking now it meant the threat had been neutralized, but if they needed an evacuation it was because someone's life was in danger. Him specifying the safety of Yukine and Kohinata meant that they were both at the very least currently alive, but that left six others unaccounted for.

Six others who could be in life or death scenarios. 

She would be able to turn around, take the back exit and cut through some alleyways and side streets and be able to get there quickly. She was frustratingly limited by the highway, but as long as Souji was there he would be able to give them first ai-

 _“Souji to all points: I am facing down a supernatural threat. I have no means of combating it at all. Requesting support.”_ The briefest pause in his recon felt like it stretched on for eternity. _“Now would be good.”_

She opted not to take the highway.

Revving her motorcycle into a freestanding wheely, she pointed her blade to the sky, summoning down **_HEAVEN’S WRATH_ **. It cut through the clouds, the enormous blade the size of a truck piercing the ground next to her. Pushing her enhanced motorcycle to the absolute limit as she revved its engine to the red, she landed her tires on the blade, and with the jet propulsions from her Gear, launched up the blade like a rocket.

If her battle with Kohinata had taught her anything, it was the benefit of being able to bring down **_HEAVEN'S WRATH_ ** in rapid succession. That had required her to make blind judgements to outrun a lazer. Now she had to do something with a similar small margin of error. But even so, she did. Calling upon another blade to strike at the hilt of the one she was riding, she skyrocketed up the now extended ramp, summoning a third blade to continue her ascent. 

Her bike hit the end of the ramp of steel and she soared through the night sky, towards the wreckage and inferno that had felt so impossibly far away just moments ago. What she could not see, she could hear. Hear the roars of some mad beast trumpeting from the buildings that separated the wreckage from the street and that was when she saw that which she was looking for, and the last thing she ever wanted to see.

Kohinata, sprinting like her life depending on it. Because her life did depend on it. Out of an alley and onto the street flooded with cars of those looking to help with the horrible accident that had occured. And right behind her was the source of Kohinata’s desperation. A horrifying green figure, covered in red pulsating vines and a blade out of its arm. 

As it swung its knife, cutting the hair off the back of Kohinata’s neck, Tsubasa’s own blade moved. **_AZURE FLASH_ **soared through the night sky, blindsided the beast, so obsessed with its prey. She saw the eruption of energy take Kohinata off her feet and over several rows of cars, but Tsubasa knew she could take it.

The blades on her heels turned into makeshift wings onto her bike as she soared through the air. The beast was already back on its feet from her attack. Flipping herself over the handlebars, Tsubasa channeled the energy of **_HEAVEN’S WRATH_ ** into her boots as she dived heel first through the night sky. 

The beast made no move to get out of the way of the enormous blade, swinging its own in retaliation. Like her uncle had done so many years prior, her blade bounced off the tip of the beast's knife, pain shooting up her heel to her knee in response.

_Got you._

Hands still firmly gripping the handlebars of her motorcycle, she slammed the tires back onto the blade of **_HEAVEN’S WRATH_ **and raced down it like a bullet. The blades around her ankles formed at the front of her cycle, the perfect javelin for such an unholy beast.

 _“Perish!”_ She said with a vengeance, and only then did the beast see that not only was the first attack a diversion, but so was this one. So focused on Tsubasa racing down on her two wheeled chariot, it did not see the rain of enormous heavenly swords come down around it. Six enormous blades of **_HEAVEN’S WRATH_ ** slamming into the concrete, making a perfect circle around it. So distracted by this realization, it failed to react in time to her charge.

Tsubasa threw herself from the bike as its blade pierced into the beast. Hitting like a truck, the motorcycle slammed the beast into the ground, its blade going through its chest and out its back, entrapping its shadow like a bear trap. Lighting her heels with wings of flame, Tsubasa skated along the walls of the circular prison as the final blade of **_HEAVEN’S WRATH_ ** came down to complete the circle. Now there would be no place for the beast or the streak of flames she left in her wake to go, as she reached the hilts of all seven blades and flew out.

Pointing _Ame no Habakiri_ to the sky, one could mistake the lights that streaked through the night for shooting stars. Swords of incredible light filled the sky, funneled into the now fiery column of swords she made as **_ONE THOUSAND FALLING TEARS_ **down upon the beast trapped within.

An enormous explosion rocked within the steel structure, yet another bike lost as the onlookers she had so keenly kept safe ran away from the continued danger. Landing with dignity in front of the circle of blades, she kept herself at the ready just in case.

_“Tsubasa-san!”_

Kohinata’s voice, coming over the sounds of chaos, reached her. “Kohinata!” She shouted, turning towards her. “Are you alright?” Despite a cut across her cheek and torn clothes, she looked relatively unharmed, albeit exhausted and frightened.

“Be-careful!” Miku gasped between breaths, hands on her knees in front of Tsubasa. “She-can regenerate. She-can-heal!” She gasped, clutching at her throat.

“I-”

The circle of swords exploded in a violent display of force. The beast lunged out, its roar drowning out Tsubasa’s song as it swung its violent blade at the two girls.

The sound of a shattering blade filled the air.

~!~

_“Ame no Habakiri?” Tsubasa's small voice said with uncertainty._

_“That’s right sweetie!” Dr. Sakurai said cheerfully. “Good job!” She ruffled the little girls blue hair affectionately. “All you have to do is sing with as much heart as you can!”_

_“And it will wake up?” Tsubasa looked at the curious looking red gem they had in the fancy looking container. She knew this was incredibly important and that her uncle and grandfather wanted her to do her absolute best on it._

_“That’s right sweetie. So just sing your little heart out!” Dr. Sakurai said with a cheer._

_Tsubasa approached the gem, transfixed by the way the light reflected off of it. She didn’t just want to sing to it, she wanted to grab it and hold it in her hands, and use it to protect people, like her uncle said it would!_

_She opened her mouth to sing, but stopped, feeling nervousness set in. Her grandfather was very dead set on her getting this done. What if she messed it up? What if she made him mad?_  
 _  
_“What’s the matter sweetie?” Dr. Sakurai said, bending down and looking at her.

_“I wanna make sure I do it right.” Tsubasa said, twiddling her little thumbs._

_“You will.” Dr. Sakurai said, petting her head once again. “As long as you believe in the song in your heart.”_

_Tsubasa looked at the wonderful doctor with renewed spirit, and began to sing._

~!~

Miku’s feet weren't even touching the ground, that’s how tight Tsubasa was holding her. She had braced for the attack when Tsubasa embraced her tightly and a blinding light enveloped them both. Opening her eyes, she found her breath taken aback by how beautiful Tsubasa was.

“You’re safe.” She said assuredly. Clutching her as close as possible, the golden sphere of _Amalgam_ forming a protective barrier between them and Jeanne. “Where are the others?” Tsubasa asked her directly, letting her feet touch the uneven ground of the cocoon. 

“Back on the train. She was going to kill us all, I ran to try and draw her away.” Miku said. From just outside the barrier, thousands of little pieces of broken steel littered the battleground. Jeannes blade shattered on contact at the last second activation of _Amalgam_.

“She?” Tsubasa questioned, looking over her shoulder at the beast. “That’s a person?”

“Her name is Jeanne.” Miku said, feeling anger boil in her heart. “She...she attacked Hibiki. Killed Kashiyami-san.” Tears bit at her eyes and she hated how utterly useless she was. She couldn’t protect Hibiki. Or Kashiyami. Or Souji. All she could do was runaway.

“Kohinata.” Tsubasa hand gripped her face, forcing her to meet her eyes. “Run. As fast as you can. Do you understand?” She said it with force, but kindness laid behind each word.

“No!” Miku shouted, from outside the cocoon Jeanne was recovering from the shock of her blade's destruction. “I won’t let her hurt you! I won’t let you fight it alone!”

“Kohinata!” Tsubasa shouted, looking ready to scold her when she caught herself. Taking a breath, she just looked down at her with a smile, that hand that had so firmly grasped her chin turned to a soft stroke of the cheek.

“Please. Let me help.” Miku said desperately.

“Miku.” Tsubasa said gently, pulling her into an embrace again. “I don’t need help. Our friends do. I cannot be in two places at once, but I can hold it off, while you save our friends.” The hand went to the back of her hair, stroking it affectionately. “Please Miku, protect them.” She whispered into her ear, clutching at her with a desperate vulnerable fear that she had never felt from her before.

Freeing herself from the embrace, Miku nodded. “What will you do?”

Tsubasa turned, staring intently at the beast outside the cocoon. “I am going to channel Hibiki.” She said, boldly dispelling the protective barrier.

Miku crouched behind her, slowly, backing away as Tsubasa and the beast kept their eyes locked on each other. “My name is Kazanari Tsubasa.” She said loudly, holding her hand out. “You have killed a friend of mine, attacked the ones I love most, and caused great destruction to my home.” She paused, the beast not interrupting, its blade slowly regenerating like it was a part of its body.

“I know not why you have chosen us as your enemies, Jeanne, but I will give you this chance to yield. Listen to the song of a protector, and let me fly you out of the darkness you have fallen into.” Her words were divine, overflowing with power and devotion. “No one else has to die today.”

Jeanne’s hate filled evil eyes did not leave Tsubasa, its voice filling the night air with just as much hatred as Tsubasa’s voice held love.

**_“One has to die. Life for a life.”_ **

Its blade continued to regenerate even faster. Tsubasa’s outstretched hand became enraptured with the power of _Amalgam_ , transforming the flowers that covered her suit into the long winged sword of _Ame no Habakiri._ “Listen to my song and yield.” She requested one last time, taking a powerful stance. 

_“Or I will crush you into a million pieces, and throw you into the wind!”_

~!~

“Tsubasa-san has engaged the enemy! _Amalgam_ initiated!” Fujitaka related breathlessly to his Commander. Never in all his time with being with this outfit had he seen something quite like this. Whatever this **_Nightmare_ ** of a monstrosity was, it was no Noise, no Alca-Noise, and even its sentience was debatable. 

The fact that it talked seemed to make everything it did so much worse.

“Attempting second field diagnostics scan.” Tomosato sounded off. They had tried to identify what this thing was, but there were more possibilities then there weren't. The only thing they knew it wasn’t was that which they knew the most about.

“ _How far away are we from the battlefield?”_ The Commander’s stern voice came over the phone.

“Fifteen minutes Sir!” Fujitaka said immediately, catching something out of the corner of his eye.

Elfnein.

Standing there, looking transfixed at the creature that was regenerating its blade right before their eyes, the young alchemist eyes went wide. A lightbulb going off over her.

“Fujitaka-san, did you leave the car running?” Elfnein asked, as if in a trance.

“Yes?” He answered, looking across to Tomosato in confusion before looking back at the outline of where Elfnein used to be. “Elfnein-san!” He said to the girl who was now sprinting out of the command center.

“There’s no time! I know what this is! I know what we need!”

~!~

She could feel Kanade standing by her.

Sword in hand, staring down at the beast that had done so much wrong. She would not stand for it, but she was no executioner. She was no warrior. She was a protector. She would not be one who continued the cycle of violence. She would protect anyone and everyone, even Jeanne.

Whomever she was, or used to be, something horrible took her down this path. And Kazanari Tsubasa would not stop until she could take her off this path.

**_“I will not stop. I cannot stop.”_ **

And in those words, she found hope. Jeanne was doing this for a reason, not just for the sake of violence. She could help her off this path. “You can.” She assured the beast, keeping her sword as a wall between the beast and Miku. “I can help you.”

**_“Help me?”_ **

She saw the hint of a cruel smile on its lips.

**_“You can help me. Help me by dying. Yield to me, and the deal is complete. Perish. And I will stop.”_ **

Tsubasa closed her eyes regretfully, clasping her sword in both hands. “You know I won’t do that Jeanne.”

**_“THEN STAND ASIDE!”_ **

Her voice shook the city streets. A gasp of panic from behind her reminded her just how much danger Miku was in.

“I will not. I cannot.”

**_“Life for a life. Are you going to die for her?”_ **

The great knife cut through the air, towards Miku, and was caught by a wing-like sword. A protector's sword.

“Someone is.”

~!~

“Tsubasa-san is engaging the enemy?” Ogawa asked, looking helplessly back at Hibiki, whose heart monitors told him her pulse matched his own.

“She is,” Genjuro confirmed. “We are en-route.”

“Commander…” Ogawa’s nervousness lurked in every letter of the word he said with so much respect.

“Stay with Hibiki-kun.” Genjuro ordered, and for a moment Ogawa hated and loved him at the same time. Hated him for the order, but loving him for robbing the responsibility of choice away from him.

It was like only yesterday he was introducing himself to the greatest singer in the world.

_“Greetings. My name is Ogawa Shinji. It is a pleasure to meet you.”_

_“Kazanari Tsubasa. My uncle says you are taking over his duties as manager?”_

_“I am here to make your life easier.”_

A chill went through him, looking out the window as they approached the hospital. “Commander… will she be alright?”

“ _I know only one thing, Shinji.”_ Genjuro said in such a way that he knew that this was between only them. “ _She is Kazanari Tsubasa. And I believe in her.”_

Ogawa put his hand on the window, his heart surging with pride. “Yes...go... _TSUBASA-SAN!”_

~!~

Miku was in awe.

It had started in an instant. Jeanne returned to full strength and surged with hate. Tsubasa, radiating power and spirit, clashing together in a shower of sparks and flame. They moved with such speed and intensity that she found it hard to keep up. Her eyes raced back and forth like she was sitting in the front row of a cinema. 

Immediately, several things became very apparent to her. 

Jeanne was _strong._ Hitting with strikes that reminded her of the type of force that Genjuro would use to punch streets in half. Not only that, but her attacks were erratic, unpredictable, and spontaneous. She remembered how before Elfnein had joined them, that Hibiki was vulnerable to what they called the _Berserk_ state. It was borderline feral, the manner in which she tried to penetrate Tsubasa’s defenses. But what else became apparent to her was that despite Jeanne’s immense strength and incredibly unpredictable nature… Tsubasa did not seem bothered at all.

It was with a brilliant display of skill and speed that Tsubasa responded to Jeanne’s strikes. Jeanne may have held more force behind her attacks, but Tsubasa was deft of blade. Every parry would be followed by a strike of her own, every block followed by a swift counter, every wasted motion harshly punished.

Miku thought of all those years Tsubasa would tell them at every possible second that she was a sword, and she lived up to that boast now. Perhaps if Tsubasa was only using _Ame no Habakiri’s_ base power the duel would be closer, but with the raw power of _Amalgam’s Imago_ form, the battle was becoming one sided.

Jeanne may have had raw power, but Miku could see now the fatal difference between the two. Tsubasa’s strikes and reactions were reflexive, calm, and composed. A finely practiced art only befitting a veteran of many battles. A veteran of someone who had fought something like Jeanne before. The regenerative armor of _Nehushtan_ , the _Berserk_ state that Hibiki had fallen into. All things that Tsubasa had fought before.

And Miku was willing to bet Jeanne had never fought someone like Tsubasa before.

But she could not stay here awestruck.

She had a job to do.

“ _You can do it Tsubasa!”_ She shouted at the top of her lungs. Allowing herself one last moment to be mesmerized by the samurai dancing in the wind and fire that surrounded her.

And then she started running.

~!~

She swatted Jeanne’s blow away with the flat of her blade, sending the beast off balance. Seizing the opening, Tsubasa struck, her blade coming down with all of Susanoo’s wrath.

It was all Jeanne could do to use her own blade to defend. A hollow gong like sound rang out across the battlefield, cracks in Jeanne’s blade forming, forcing her to plant her feet and use her free hand to reinforce her defensive stance. The force of the blow cratered the ground beneath their feet and shattered nearby windows, the swordswoman staring the beast down with burning intensity.

Channeling all of her strength, Jeanne pushed back against Tsubasa. But the _Ame no Habakiri_ wielder stood her ground, not giving a single inch to the beast's power. “Your hatred and rage will crumble under the power of my song!” She channeled her own power into the bottom of her heels, taking one laborious step forward, pushing it back.

**_“SHUT UP!”_ **

The great knife’s hate fueled steel continued to crack under the weight of Tsubasa’s blade. She was losing more and more ground, the very knee that had a bullet sunk into beginning to buckle under the might of _Amalgam’_ s power.

“ _Listen to my song! Listen to my song and take flight out of the heart of darkness! May the fires of my protection extinguish the hate that clouds your heart!”_ A bright and firey inferno burst out of the thrusters on her Gear, propelling them both forward in a brilliant dash of yellow and blue flames.

The force of it pressed Jeanne’s own blade against her chest, as Tsubasa took flight in her continued advance. They raced down the city streets, a dazzling blaze left in their wake. Tsubasa put more and more distance between Jeanne and the train. She would end this fight quickly and decisively, and if she could, she would not be Jeanne’s executioner. 

_“It’s over!”_ Tsubasa shouted, attempting to cut through Jeanne’s blade with her own. But the great knife held its form, Tsubasa inadvertently flinging Jeanne upwards towards the face of a skyscraper. 

It was able to recover midair, planting its feet firmly on the building and launching herself back at Tsubasa with an overhead slash. Tsubasa got her blade up just in the nick of time to eat the hit, the force of which sent her to her back, exploding the road beneath as she tried to keep the blade from sinking into her face.

 _“Jeanne!”_ She cried out, holding her blade with all her strength. “Listen to my song, please! Do not make me raise my blade against you!”

**_“SHUT UP! YOU! INSUFFERABLE! LITTLE! BITCH!_ **

It roared in her face, drool dripping across her brow as it seethed at the kill it had in its grasp.

“ ** _WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO LIVE MORE THAN MY MELODY? WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO LIVE WHILE SHE DIES ON CHRISTMAS DAY?”_ **

“Listen to me! _I have lost too! And just because you have lost someone you love does not give you the right to take away another's! Listen to me! Listen to my song!_ ”

 _“_ **_I WILL LISTEN! BUT I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOU SING! I WANT TO HEAR YOU SCREAM!”_ **

_So be it._

**_“SCREAM!”_ **

Blue and golden fire encompassed her body, making her look like a spirit. Jeanne had only a moment to consider her choices, before an enormous explosion sent her reeling through the air. The fire dome blinding and power, Tsubasa screaming to the heavens within the heart of the inferno.

**_FIRE SCREAM_ **

Jeanne recovered in mid air once again, planting her feet firmly on the building. With all her eyes she saw the blue and golden sentinel clad in all her hypocrisy and power. She never hated anyone so much before.

**_“DIE!”_ **

They dashed at each other, Tsubasa’s sword shattering through Jeanne’s great knife in a single strike. The air in her lungs left Jeanne’s chest as Tsubasa’s blade entered it.

Tsubasa landed perfectly on the side of the building, the rockets on her back blasting off once again as she carried the beast on her blade up the skyscrapers.

All across Tokyo, the clash was witnessed. The brilliant golden and blue inferno that formed a brilliant tornado around the structure. There was no casualty within the flames, not a leaf burnt, or a stone scorched or a life lost. Just the powerful and beautiful radiance within the song of the protector.

From a helicopter, the bridge of SONG, a train crash, and a hospital parking lot, her flight was witnessed.

Her uncle, peering through binoculars. “Tsu-”

Her support staffer Aoi, mouth agape in awe “Ba-”

Her friend, Miku, who had her precious kohai safe. “Sa-”

And her personal ninja, staring from the hospital's entrance. “ _SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN_!”

At the building's peak, her blade cut the beast in two. The blaze erupted above them like a volcano, taking form in the night sky as a second sun. Through golden and blue fiery light, the majestic shape of a phoenix let out a cry of triumph and altruism. At the end of its molten hot tail feathers was Tsubasa, gathering the power around her blade in a swirling tornado.

“ _BE! GONE!”_

She could feel a second pair of hands over hers. She held her weapon like a sword, while the second hands held it like a spear. They sent all the crackling energy at Jeanne in a typhoon of fire and power. It hit the quickly regenerating beast straight in the chest, sending her off of the building in a hurricane born out of the love of two who had once flown together

**_LAST∞METEOR_ **

**_“MELODY!”_ **

The beast’s screams roared from the heart of the blaze that roared through the night sky. But those flames were no fear for Tsubasa, who stared into the heart of the inferno with determined resolve.

_“THIS IS THE PROTECTOR’S SONG!”_

She charged through her own flames, riding the current of heat and holy power. Her sword quickly changed form as she prepared her final and most destructive attack possible. This beast would threaten to take all that they had worked so hard to protect. And Tsubasa had tried too hard to protect her, to let her fly out of the darkness she was trapped within. If she could not save her from the darkness in its heart, she would save the girl who had once been Jeanne from doing something she would never want to do.

She may have to end her life, but she would save her soul.

_“THIS IS MY SONG!”_

~!~

Yumi fell to her knees in awe at the sight that lit up the night sky. The golden light racing like a shooting star up the building. The fiery phoenix whose cries reached even as far as them, and the swirling tornado that blasted the beast called Jeanne off the roof.

All because of Kazanari Tsubasa. Her first crush, a literal hero of justice. One who would protect all those around her without a second thought. Because those around her were the ones she loved. Her friends.

“Hope…” She whispered at the golden light, letting Kioku down off her shoulder to more easily sit her by the car as the ambulances came rolling in. “Love… courage… friendship.” Yumi smiled brilliantly, face wet with tears.

“I always loved stories like that.”

As the words left her mouth, absolute dread filled her chest, crushing the hope that had been there just seconds before.

As if to answer the tension in her chest, Kioku gasped in pain, saying through a mouthful of blood. “What if it’s not that kind of story?”

~!~

**_"Owie Owie Bye-Bye!"_ **

A violent explosion of orange energy shot through the fire and the flames. With nary a second to react, the full force of the blast hit Tsubasa like a comet, blasting her through her own flames and through the night. A falling star, alight in flame and pain, falling…

Falling…

Fallen.

A phoenix’s destiny realized.

~!~

Aoi slapped her hand over her mouth in horror. She could only look at the **_CONDITION RED_ ** of _Ame no Habakiri_ for a few seconds more before she immediately got on the coms to the ground teams medical staff. “Tsubasa-san is down! Move quickly to Sector 8!”

She heard a breathless Fujitaka return behind her, gasping. “Elfnein… she… stole my…” He paused, looking at the glowing red sign around the profile picture of Tsubasa on screen.

“What happened?”

~!~

_“NO!”_

Ogawa nearly fell out of the ambulance as they got Hibiki safely out, racing her inside. All the most useless man in all the world could do was stop and stare as the light that was Tsubasa fell back down to the city below. He could not just stand aside, he could not just do nothing he-

_“OGAWA!”_

Genjuro’s words rooted him to the floor.

“Commander…”

“ _Protect Hibiki. Leave this to me._ ”

~!~

Miku hit her knees, no longer able to support Chris’s weight over her shoulder.

Maybe she would not be able to support any weight ever again.

“Tsubasa…” Tears filled her eyes. She wanted to throw up. She wanted to shake this nightmare out of her head and make it all go away. Just like Kashiyami. Just like everyone. Just like _everyone._

“Tsubasa please…” Miku collapsed, resting her forehead against the street as she prayed to anyone who would listen. “Please don’t. Please don’t die.” Her ruby eyes full of tears, she begged the girl whose songs she fell in love with so long ago.

“Tsubasa… please… live.”

~!~

The phoenix fell like a meteor onto the street below, her naked body bouncing like a fish across the hard concrete.

The beast that had extinguished the flame landed like a brick. Its wounds were already rapidly healing from the battle with the sentinel. It had been seconds away from death. For all of its incredible regenerative power, it could not heal that which was completely burned away. If her last strike had landed it would have truly been utterly over for her.

It had blasted that bitch right out of the sky, and now it was all a matter of confirming the kill. She would not let her goal be denied. She would not let her Melody stay frozen on Christmas day. She would do what she must to ensure that her Mistress was pleased.

So why was she crying?

Seeing her crumpled body at the end of the street, it already knew that the deed was done. That woman. That girl. Kazanari Tsubasa. The one who insisted she listen to her song, had screamed instead just like it asked her too.

So why was sh-it crying?

The lump in its throat was painful, it had to look away. Where was this coming from? This new pain? It was in its heart. Like something had completely hollowed her, no it, out. What was this fresh hell?

 _“Hooaaah!”_ The shocked pained gasp snapped its head back to her in attention. Tsubasa’s eyes were wide with shock as air entered her lungs. The look of horror and shock still etched on her face from when Jeanne had launched her attack. “Ahhhh…” The girl croaked out, a faint golden aura of dust like particles around her, almost like little fireflies. She tried to turn over when her eyes met Jeannes.

And still, Jeanne could only cry.

 ** _“Life for a life.”_** It/she spoke, holding its great knife over its head. 

There should have been no way this girl could have survived that, but it would be no matter. It would end this. 

Right here.

Right now.

Its blade trembled in the air over the girl, that very same impossible pain pulsating in her heart. Could she do this? Could she kill yet another girl who had done nothing but try to help her?

She was so lost in her thoughts, that she never saw him coming.

Landing with force around his niece, Jeanne stared into the eyes of a man who would face down demons. A look of pure hate in his eyes as his fist flew past his ear and into her chest like an atom bomb. 

~!~

Genjuro was not a man of violence.

He hated violence.

Violence was a disease. And you don’t cure a disease by spreading it to more people. He had lived his life believing that. That he could do, with the time he had in the world, to put more good in it than there was bad. To make the world a better place for those who stood to inherit it.

And yet, this position made him one who had to stand against those who would seek to make the world a worse place. Those who deemed it permissible to make the world a worse place for their own selfish benefit. He would try to be a man of peace on those days, against those who would try to violently subject the world to their own ends.

And then there was today.

A day where the girl he viewed as a daughter was brutally attacked. A day where the girl he never could save and the one who always needed saving could not enjoy a simple night on the town. A day where he watched his own niece be blown out of the sky a power that shook him to his core.

Today.

Genjuro was a man of violence.

He felt Jeanne’s ribcage cave in under the force of his punch. She bounced down the street like a rag doll, a torrential rainfall of pink and black sawblades following her.

“Shirabe-kun! Keep your distance! Lure her away from Tsubasa!” Genjuro ordered, two green blades of energy flying over him towards the beast.

“We’ll keep her distracted!” Kirika said with determination. They had gotten the briefest of details of the beasts fighting style from Tomosato from her battle with Tsubasa. The beast could hit hard, but would wait to attack when regenerating. If they could press that advantage, they could wi-

**_“SHIRABE?”_ **

The beast’s voice roared throughout the city streets, and he met his niece's eyes which were filled with fear. Not fear for herself, as helpless as she was, but the fear of realization. That beast had not just said Shirabe’s name in anger, but said it in _recognition._

“Uncle…” Tsubasa croaked out.

“Damn!” He saw the ambulances driving up to them, and with a regretful look towards his niece he turned his back on her and ran. Ran towards the end of the street that his fist had launched the beast towards and already he could see she was back on her feet.

Shirabe barely leapt out of the way as the sword struck the earth like a meteor. Reflexively, she landed on her feet, a buzzsaw forming around her waist like a tutu, and she leapt through the air at the creature with her **_Delta Style: Charming Axel Killer_** technique. 

“NO! Don’t get close!”

Her saw seared through Jeanne’s left side, but the beast turned on its heel swinging its great knife like a bat behind it. The sword obliterated her buzzsaw skirt, _Shul Shagana’s_ Gear exploding in a flash of sparks and metal as its wielder cried out in pain.

“ _NO! SHIRABE!”_ Kirika used her boosters to close the distance. The force of the strike sent Shirabe flying into a nearby car, but Kirika would not let that stop her. It had overcommitted to its swing, and was now completely defenseless!

_“DON’T!”_

It was like watching a horror movie in slowmotion. This creature had recognized both girls, and was acting far more aggressive because of it, forgoing its own regeneration and defense because of it. Something he realized, and Kirika didn’t.

Her scythe struck true, hitting the creature right in the heart and coming out of its back. A powerful hand gripped the shaft of the scythe, and Jeanne grinned through blood stained teeth at the blonde.

“Wha-”

From where it had swung behind itself to strike Shirabe, it used the same angle to swing forward. Had it not been for her Gear, she would have been cut clean in half as the blade bent her around it at unnatural angels and sent her flying.

It had happened in only a matter of seconds. This was not the same creature that Tsubasa had been fighting. No, he knew that now. It was not enough for it to regenerate when an attack failed to kill it, but it seemed to be getting stronger as the fight was going on. And all it had taken was one mistake from either of them.

A mistake Genjuro would not make.

“ _You’re MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!”_ He knew he could not run there in time, so he closed the remaining distance by kicking off the street, launching himself forward like a speeding bullet at the beast.

And even then he saw the change in her stance, positioning to an overhead strike that would cut him in two. Timing it at just the last possible second, using all his strength to clap his hands around the blade. The power of stopping the strike made his shirt explode off his body as he tanked the monster's brutal attack, the blade barely kissing the top of his head. A thin trail of blood ran down his face as he stared at the beast, his heartbeat pounding inside his head.

This was going catastrophically. They had been completely out of position in trying to protect Tsubasa, and failed to understand the full nature of this abomination’s strength. These children were once again paying for his mistakes. His hands were once again being stained with blood.

“I won’t let you...hurt them!” Genjuro said defiantly, his knees beginning to buckle.

**_“Tell Nastassja’s little bitches to not be scared.”_ **

The beast's lips glistened with blood as it said it. The pounding heartbeat in his head getting more and more deafening.

**_“I have a magic spell to make the pain go away.”_ **

The evil eye opened, and in an instant he understood.

**_"Owie Owie-”_ **

He shoulder barged her in the stomach, taking her off her feet and causing her to look straight down at the ground behind him.

**_“BYE BYE!”_ **

The blast fired at the ground behind him. He felt himself become deaf at the noise of the explosion, the powerfully painful heat of the attack was hot enough to make the seas boil. They were skyrocketing through the air now at a breakneck pace, and he felt his consciousness fading as every muscle in his body tense in trying to bear the pain.

Keeping a firm hold on the monster, he reeled his fist back and struck with every ounce of his soul. Sinking his fist against her chest, he sent her reeling through the air and at last he understood how truly high up they were.

Flying through the air, he saw he was eye level with the tip of Tokyo Tower, which was rapidly getting farther and farther away. His thoughts turned insane as he thought about how you needed an elevator to get that high, before he crashed through the reinforced glass of the first skyscraper. Crashing through several floors and walls in a diagonal cleave through the building, shooting out the other side and hitting a car stuck in traffic like a cannonball. His body knocked the car over onto its side, the man rolling off of it and onto the sidewalk, blood pooling around him.

~!~

“Chris please!” Miku begged, tears streaming down her face. “Wake up! You have to wake up!” She shouted as the paramedics got closer. “Please?”

“Miku!” Yumi shouted, breaking her out of her hysteria. Turning to look at her, Miku was aghast at the dried blood on her face. Just behind her was Kioku, Iwasawa, Shiori, Souji and Kuriyo being loaded into ambulances. “Let them take her.” 

Miku looked down at Chris sadly. She was certainly “conscious” but only by the most legal of terms. Her eyes were incredibly dazed, her mouth hanging open, and could not even stand under her own power. “She’s the only left who can fight.” She whispered, looking at the way the girl's pendant rested around her neck.

“She can’t fight, Miku. I don’t know who can but…” Yumi looked at where the enormous explosion had happened. They had all heard the calls from Souji’s communicator of Kirika, Shirabe and Genjuro failing to defeat her. “I believe someone can.”

Shame coated Miku like a veneer of sweat. She did nothing to stop the paramedics from putting Chris on a stretcher, memory overtaking her.

~!~

_She had put Hibiki to bed after that horrible day. The horrible day she had forgotten her gloves. It had been a small miracle that the girl had got to sleep after that, and it was all Miku could do not to collapse from the guilt that pulsated in every beat of her heart. She only had to endure it when she was near Hibiki, which was mostly at school, but Hibiki could often not even escape it at home._

_Miku tried to leave discreetly from the Tachibana home when she was over. It’s not that she was scared of people seeing her be here, really it wasn’t that…_

_It was just...safer this way._

_Yeah that was it._

_But it was by going this way that she saw the trash that they had outside their house. She saw the silver plastic crutch that Hibiki had had to use during her recovery at home. She had tried so hard to get better as soon as possible, and her reward was nothing but continued harassment._

_She also saw her track teammates, lurking on the sidewalk with rocks in hand. Meticulously calculating which room had Hibiki within it. Her Hibiki. The same Hibiki that made her heart race and was only just now able to have gotten sleep._

_No…_

_They couldn't…_

_They shouldn't!_

_They wouldn’t?_

_Miku felt her body moving on its own. Grabbing the clutch in her shaking hands like a sword, she rounded the corner on them, before fear froze her in place when they saw her coming._

_“What the hell are you doing Kohinata?” Their leader said, glaring at her with inhuman hatred._

_“Just leave her alone. Please.”_

_Why couldn’t they just leave her alone?_

_“Or what? You gonna do something?” She strutted up to her and pushed her on the ground with a sneer. “Fuck you Kohinata.” She turned back to look at her friends. “Let’s get out of here.”_

_She took a few steps, before turning on her heel and throwing the rock right through Hibiki’s bedroom window, the young girl's screams echoing in Miku’s nightmares for years to come._

_~!~_

“Wait!” Miku shouted at the paramedics.

“Miku!” Yumi shouted, pulling away from the medic trying to help her.

Miku ran to Chris and took in her appearance one last time. She really was pretty. “I’ll give it back. I promise.” She whispered, hand clasping around _Ichaival_ and ripping it away from the girl's neck. 

“Wait...what are you doing?” Yumi asked, seeing the pendant in her hand.

“Whatever I can.” Miku said, before breaking out into a sprint before anyone could stop her. She had seen the direction of where that explosion had come from. It was at least a kilometer away. But what was that to her? The girl who could run five kilometers in fifteen minutes, and thirty five seconds?

Especially when she had _this._

“Killter Ichaival tron!” Miku shouted to the heavens as she ran towards the battle.

She expected a burst of light, a blast of energy, a feeling of power as her melody became harmonized with _Ichaival_ and she took flight. 

But nothing happened.

“Killter Ichaival tron!” Miku sang again, holding the pendant high above her head. She felt nothing. No change, no power flowing through her veins as she brought out rockets out of everywhere. 

Nothing.

Was she the problem? When she chanted before, hers was always different, was that it?

“Killter Ichaival zizzl!” She shouted it again, tears impossible to stop now. “Killter Ichaival zizzl! Killter Ichaival tron!” Even as she ran forward, she felt like she was running through mud. What was the fucking point of it all?

“ _PLEASE!”_ Miku screamed. “Killter Ichaival tron! Killter Ichaival tron! Killter Ichaival tron!” Nothing happened, but still she kept running. “Killter Ichaival tron! Killter Ichaival tron! Killter Ichaival tron!” She wouldn’t let this end like this. Not without a fight.

“Killter Ichaival tron! Killter Ichaival tron! Killter Ichaival tron!” She was saying the words, but they were meaningless. She remembered how Hibiki said that the words came to her, as if out of her soul. Not something they consciously did, but more like breathing. The exact opposite of what she was doing. Because she could fight it all she wanted, but the fact of the matter was there was nothing she could do.

That cold hard fact stopped her in her tracks.

 _“GOD DAMNIT!”_ She screamed loud enough to make her throat bleed. Falling to her knees she punched the ground hard enough to crack the street. “ _Why can’t I ever fucking do anything?”_

~!~

“Shirabe?” Kirika muttered, rolling over onto her back. She felt dizzy. Hazy. The explosion had been enormous and thrown her several city blocks. It was only by her Gear that she was even still alive...but none of that mattered now. 

Where was her Moonlight?

“Shirabe!” She cried out, a pain in her midsection worse than every period she ever had. It was like something there had burst, and she was almost certain it had. She could barely feel her legs, but she could feel the vibration of the earth. And even on the outskirts of the crater that explosion had made, she could hear the rushing movement of something sprinting her way. It was like the running of the bulls, shaking the pebbles off the ground as it got closer and closer and closer to her.

“No...I can’t leave...Shirabe.” Kirika formed her scythe, and tried to stand as best she could. She realized too late just what a mistake that was, because now she could see Jeanne. And now Jeanne could see _her._

**_“AKATSUKI!”_ **

It launched at her at the same time that Shirabe did. Her moonlight, glowing beautifully in the late night, pushing her out of the way at the last second. Where the sword would have cut her in half, instead shattered as _Amalgam_ ’s glowing light protected her.

**_“SHIRABE!”_ **

It roared right in front of the wielder’s cocoon, not yet realizing that Kirika was behind it, not within it. Kirika saw her opportunity and she took it, shooting her cables out from around the sphere, it quickly ensnared the beast arms perfectly. If she could immobilize the creature, then its regeneration was pointless!

“Kiri-chan!” Shirabe looked behind her at her beloved. In that moment, despite being inches apart, they never felt farther away.

**_“LET GO OF ME YOU BITCH!”_ **

While its arms were restrained, its legs were not. The beast reared back its powerful legs and kicked the golden orb like a soccer ball. It may have nullified damage, but it could not nullify its own _momentum._

With Shirabe trapped inside, the shield smashed into Kirika, sending them down the street and through the air Shirabe dispelled instantly, sending them both free falling. She clutched onto Kirika’s hands at the last second, turning them around to eat the impact right before they went through the skylight of a building's first floor lobby. They landed in a crumpled heap onto the floor, the building’s residents gasping in both shock and horror at the sudden intrusion.

It was Kirika who came to first.

To the sight of her motionless moonlight

And the sound of a trumpetting heartbeat.

**_“Owie Owie Bye-Bye!”_ **

~!~

“GET OUT OF MY WAY I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!” Elfnein shouted at the passing vehicles as she sped through the city streets in Fujitakas now stolen car. The alchemist's tiny legs were not long enough to reach the petals and look over the steering wheel, forcing her to slam her feet on the gas and then hop off it to see.

“FUJITAKA-SAN I HATE YOUR STUPID CAR!” She hopped off the gas once again and to her horror, she saw a girl kneeling in the middle of the road and swerved to avoid her. Driving directly into a streetlight, she was kept safe from hurling out the window. Her brand new coffee maker however went right through the windshield. She would grieve later.

Trying to open her door was a lost cause. The crash didn’t just give her whiplash, it seemed to have warped the door as well. But she could get out still. Because her most precious piece of equipment had just made her an exit. Crawling through the hole in the windshield, she saw the girl she had almost hit.

“Miku-san!” She shouted, leaping off the car and running towards her. The poor girl looked like a mess. Her clothes in tatters, her cheek cut, and crying her eyes out. She was in bad shape. They were all in bad shape, but maybe, just maybe…

“Elfnein?” Miku whispered, looking up at her in confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here silly?” Elfnein responded gently, taking her hand in hers. She was shocked to feel a pendant there, and though they were all identical, she knew it was Chris’s.

“Trying to help…” Miku said lowly. “But I can’t do anything.” She dropped the pendant in the alchemist's hands, sobbing into her palms. “I just can’t do anything!”

“That’s not true!” Elfnein said hotly, brimming with energy. “There is something you can do! Something only _you_ can do!”

Miku slowly looked from her hands towards the alchemist at that. “Something only I can do?” She whispered, hope in her eyes.

“That’s right.” Elfnein smiled, reaching into her pocket. “That thing, whatever it is, it’s not just a monster. It’s a _relic fusion._ ” She placed her treasure into Miku’s hands. Another explosion from that monster's attack in the distance rocked the streets for a moment, but still, Miku knew what was in her hands now.

The completed Shénshòujìng.

“And you Miku-san, are a relic killer.”

~!~

The horrifying power of Jeanne’s evil eye exploded all around her. The lobby was utterly obliterated, and Kirika dared not think of all the poor unfortunate individuals in it as the building collapsed around them. Even with the full defensive powers of Amalgam on full blast, _Igalima_ was screaming under the strain of the impossible power from Jeanne.

At the last second, when it seemed like the power behind her shield would truly give out, the blast stopped. Not a moment later, Kirika’s shield fell, and she was left kneeling there, Shirabe in her arms. She had endured the attack.

She knew she could not endure the second one.

And she could hear that horrible heartbeat.

And see Jeanne approaching them.

With a smile on her face.

“ ** _Life for a life. I can’t bring her back twice, so I will save myself as well.”_ **

“Shirabe!” Kirika said through tears, hugging her as close as she could. “I love you Shirabe! I love you so much!”

~!~

“I can stop her.”

Miku whispered it aloud, the Gear in her hand.

_“You gonna do something?”_

All those years of just standing on the sidelines. Doing nothing, being a victim. Being a problem. Being a _damsel._ The only time he ever did anything was when she put the ones she loved most in danger.

Now she could do something.

Now she was going to do something.

“Give that back to Chris.”

She stood now, feeling the wind in her hair. She remembered what she sang before when that bastard had first given her this pendant. She would not let that define her now. She would never let that define her again.

So she ran.

And she felt the words come from her soul.

**_"Rei Shénshòujìng rei tron!”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do be sure to let me know what you guys think~


	15. Don't Lose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodness I am sorry how long this took. Between having to quarantine and having major issues with my wisdom teeth my writing had been incredibly sparce, but nevertheless, here it is, the long awaited next chapter. I hope you all like it. I have surgery scheduled for this week and will hopefully be more productive on getting chapters out going forward!

It was happening.

Right before her eyes.

The end of the world.

The end of her world.

She could feel wet blood in her ear, and it gave her the queer feeling of being underwater. Helpless to do anything but stare at the world as she floated on by, a phantom pain rising in her lower back once more.

How many times would she do this to her beloved Dawn?

How many times would she look at the only girl who made her feel complete in a vast undersea ocean, and see tears in her eyes? How many times would her dying body be cradled, as her lover begged her not to die? How many times would the _Igalima_ wielder scream to the heavens that she loved her…

Her…

Of all people.

Of all people in the world, the best person in that world had to fall in love with the worst one. Was that why Finé chose her? Was that why she was the one, out of all of them, that Finé’s soul found so fit to consume? Perhaps it was a kinship, a special bond only two truly wretched individuals could understand. An invisible connection, a thread intertwining their twisted existence, so that one could assure the destruction of the other.

And then there was her.

Her Beloved.

Her Dawn.

Her Kirika.

The best person in all the world.

The girl who would smile for you if you could not find a reason to do so yourself. The girl who would not rest at night until she knew that you knew you were loved. The girl who would admit to things she did not do so that Mom would hit her instead of you. The girl who would rather have the worst girl in all the world hate her so long as it meant you got to live another day. The girl who wanted to be remembered at any and all cost. The girl who had plunged herself into the dark and miserable prison that was your heart, just so that she could tell you that you were not alone.

The girl who was doing everything she could to protect you.

The girl who was the whole wide world for the worst girl in all the world.

Her Kirika.

“ _Shirabe_ !” Kirika sobbed, clutching you tightly. _“I love you Shirabe! I love you so much!”_

“ _Kiri-chan!”_ Your hands twisted in her bloody blonde hair. The words stumble in your throat as you peer into those desperate terrified eyes and you wonder just how alone has your Kirika been her entire life. The girl who always had a smile for someone else, but never one for herself. 

**_“Owie Owie Bye-Bye!”_ **

**“** Kiri-chan I love you! I’ve always loved you and I’ll always love you! Always! Always! Always!”

**_~!~_ **

_“Maria...what are they going to do with us?” Shirabe asked. They were both exhausted. It had taken so long for Kirika to fall asleep._

_Another day. Another failed compatibility test._

_Kirika scored low, but Shirabe had scored even lower._

_She braced herself for Mom’s riding crop. Ready to take the punishment for failing so miserably._

_That was when Kirika started to smack herself. Smacking her own face, slamming her head against the wall, pulling at her own hair. She, Maria and Mom just stood there horrified before grabbing at her, trying to do whatever they could to stop her from hurting herself._

_It had taken hours._

_By the time they had calmed her down, Mom was far too tired to punish her._

_“Mom said that the doctor is going to help us.” Maria said tensely. It sounded like it should have been good news, but the look on her face said otherwise._

_“The doctor?”_

_Neither of them had gotten good sleep when their bedroom door opened that morning. Shirabe was thankful that Kirika had wrapped herself around her in her sleep, providing at least that small comfort that she would not harm herself._

_But there was a man, standing in the doorway. A man Shirabe had no way of knowing would turn her entire life into a_ **_nightmare._ **

_“Dr. John Wayne Vercingetorix; at your service.”_

_~!~_

_“It would appear that while apart, their compatibility goes down, but when together,” Mom pointed to another part of the screen. “It raises so dramatically that it rivals Maria.”_

_“The power of a young girl in love is indeed amazing.” Dr. Vercingetorix said with a laugh in his voice._

_Love?_

_Was that what this feeling for Kirika was?_

_Love?_

_“Put them in isolation.” He said suddenly. “Away from each other.”_

_“What?” Maria turned on him then, eyes blazing in fury. “Why?”_

_Shirabe and Kirika looked at each other in confusion and fear, clutching to each other as the White Orphanage guards began to close in on them._

_“I too fail to see the benefit of this, Doctor.” Mom said evenly, keeping care to mind her place._

_“You have a very interesting theory, Professor Nastassja.” He said with a smile on his face as the guards tore the two screaming girls away from each other. “This is just testing it.”_

_~!~_

_“They saved Mom.”_

_It had been such a quiet whisper, Shirabe wondered if Kirika heard it. Let alone Maria._

_She felt like if she said too loud, the UN guards posted outside their room would come in and beat them senseless. The rooms here were so similar to the White Orphanage that it gave her an odd feeling in her stomach. A sadness that was bitterly happy._

_“Yeah. They did.” Kirika said against her back, still snuggling to her as tight as she always had._

_“Perhaps we too can be saved.” Maria pondered, her words like an echo in the jail cell they sat in._

_~!~_

_The dorm was supposed to be their home._

_It was supposed to be their escape away from everything._

_And yet despite the fact that they had each other, they never felt more alone._

_They didn’t even really know why for the longest time. That was until they both made their way to Mom’s grave one day. It was not until their shadows touched her grave did they realize something, no someone, was missing._

_She tried to keep it in. Tried to keep it bottled up. But the sadness had snuck up on her so suddenly, it was like a thief in the night. She had not cried that hard since the day Mom first struck her across the face._

_Only it wasn’t Maria comforting her this time._

_“Maria does love us, Shirabe.” Kirika said gently, stroking the back of her hair as the girls’ sobs finally subsided. “Even if she is with Tsubasa-senpai now, she hasn’t abandoned us. I promise.”_

_Kirika smiled down at her, and Shirabe was keenly aware of just how in love with her she was at that moment._

_“Really?”_

_“Really. Just you watch. Remember what she said? Next month she is going to be back in Tokyo, and then we’ll all get ice cream!”_

_“Really?”_ _  
__  
__“Really!”_

_~!~_

_“Really.” Chris said, scooping the ice cream out of the big gallon and making them the messiest ice cream sundaes that there had ever been. “Now shut up and eat up!” She said, taking out some whip cream and dressing the sundae appropriately._

_“I want chocolate syrup on mine!” Kirika said, grabbing the bottle excitedly._

_“Oi! Be careful!”_

_“Don’t make a mess, Kiri...chan…” Shirabe’s voice trailed off as they found the TV._

_“And now! Live from Madison Square Garden! Maria Cadenzavna Eve!”_

_The sound of the idol’s music pulled the apartment into a pregnant silence._

_“Hey...come on now. It’s gonna melt.” Chris said softly, using the remote behind her to change the channel._

_“Yeah…” Kirika’s dejected voice pulled Shirabe out of her trance and she saw that rare vulnerability. That rare vulnerability that Kirika would never dare show anyone but her. That rare vulnerability that used to be shown to another as well, but who was far too busy to notice or to tell Kiri-chan to stop it._

_“Kiri-chan!”_

_“AH!” Kirika jumped, squeezing the bottle of chocolate syrup too tight and causing a massive squirt to hit Chris right in the face._

_If possible, the pregnant silence that had dwarfed the room before now felt positively apocalyptic. The two doomed wielders of Zababa could see the budding tension on the girl's face, even with the mask of chocolate covering her face._

_“Ahhh! I’m sorry!” Kirika darted off the stool and ran to get paper towels, while Shirabe quickly ran to get a washcloth to clean their senpai’s face._

_Yet when their senpai spoke, it sparked fear into them like no other._

_“Looks like…”_

_Both Shirabe and Kirika looked at each other from across the kitchen confused._

_“You two…”_

_Chris’s hand found its way around the whipped cream._

_“Done started yourselves a shootout…”_

_As the other took hold of the chocolate syrup._

_“AT THE OK CORRAL!”_

_Whipping around like she had so many times before with guns, the three made an absolute mess of the kitchen. And even though it would take them hours to clean up, it would be Chris who held back tears that night, watching the two get to be kids for the first time in their lives._

**~!~**

**_“Owie Owie Bye-Bye!”_ **

_No…_

The giant ball of death exploded out of Jeanne’s head.

_This isn’t fair…_

It raced at them like a speeding bullet.

_This isn’t fair!_

It shot down the street, shattering windows as it passed.

_We just started living! You can’t take that from us!_

She could feel the heat on her face.

She thought about everything she and Shirabe would never get to do. Never get to graduate Lydian. Never get a home of their own. Never get to say “I Do!” to each other. Never get to forget FIS. Never get to find out who their families were. Never get to be who they could have been.

Never get to be truly happy.

The orange ball of death became everything around them in a blinding flash of light.

~!~

_“How do you read that name?” She asked the most beautiful girl in all the world._

_“They said it’s Tsukuyomi Shirabe…” The most beautiful girl in all the world said, looking shifty and nervous_

_It made her sad._

_So she would make her happy!_

_“Shirabe…” It felt so wonderful to say! “Like Yajirobe! What a cool name!”_

_“I can’t remember my real name. They gave it to me because of the things I had with me.”_

_Kirika felt a pain in her chest. Like someone had punched a black hole into her heart. She could see it in the beautiful girl’s beautiful eyes. Fear. Pain. Desperation. Confusion. She was like a scared little bunny, watching any and all predators around her, ready to hop back in a hole and burrow underground for the rest of her days._

_Unless she smelled a carrot._

_“They made my birthday the day I came here!” She chirped up happily. “So let’s be friends!”_

_The most beautiful girl in all the world looked at her carefully. Gently poking her head out the hole. “Friends?”_

_“Yeah! We’ll be best friends!” She said brightly as the Dawns morning light._

_“...you won’t leave me?”_

_Kirika seized the chance, taking the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world’s hand and making a promise she would keep to her dying day._

_“Best friends don’t leave each other! We'll be together forever!”_

_“Forever?”_

_“Forever!”_

_~!~_

_“No!”_

Tomosato clasped her hand over her mouth in horror. The violent flash of light on screen nearly blinded her. Her legs gave out from under her as a painful sobbed escaped her throat. Even over the horrible noise it echoed in the room.

_They were only children…_

_They were only children!_

“Aoi-san!” 

Fujitaka’s voice should have brought her comfort. Should have brought her relief. Should have brought her anything resembling something good. But it didn’t.

What did Genjuro always tell them?

It was the responsibility of adults to ease the lives of the next generation set to inherit their mistakes. It wasn’t right for these kids to have had such horrid lives. Lives as sex slaves. Lives as scapegoats. Lives as warriors. Lives as terrorists. 

They were kids goddamnit.

Why was this world so intent on denying them that?

“Aoi-san…” Fujitaka wrapped his arm around her, holding her close. “What is happening?”

“Kirika-chan and Shirabe-chan…” She bit her lip, unable to stop the tears.

“Aoi-san!” And she realized that he wasn’t looking at her, but at the screen.

There was no crater. No error screen displaying no signal. Instead there was the horrible orange ball of energy, mere meters away from the two.

But in front of the blinding orange light, was something. Someone. Glowing in shining purple light that sent violent shockwaves behind them, holding out strong against the unending power.

It was then that they realized just who it was.

“Oh my God.”

~!~

Death never came.

It was stopped.

Like a car hitting a tree at a million miles an hour.

The purple light that fell like a shooting star, intercepting the orange ball. A violent kaleidoscope of colors emanating from the source of impact, as whomever took the blast stood their ground.

The voice that ran out was as loud as thunder.

“ _YOU!”_

She felt her senses fleeting, clutching to Shirabe tighter than she ever had.

_“WILL NOT!”_

The collision of forces sent her on her back, her Moonlight clutching just as tightly to her.

_“HURT!”_

They both stared in awe at the divine intervention.

_“ANYONE!”_

The demon mirror worn by the vessel of a god, holding out against the hateful power of Balor.

_“EVER!”_

The fastest girl at the Lydian Private Music Academy.

_“EVER!”_

Tachibana Hibiki’s sunshine

_“EVER!”_

The Dawn and the Moonlight’s consciousness faded, their lives entrusted into the Future.

_“AGAIN!”_

~!~

It was like being on the track team all over again.

There was a moment just before a race would begin that seemed to defy the laws of time. It was the seconds between the whistle blowing to tell the runners to get set and the gunshot which signaled the start of the race. Every muscle tensed like a tightly wound spring. The tension is unbearable. You feel like you are going to throw up; god would that fucking gun just go off and then BANG!

Miku blasted off like a jet. The sonic boom created in her wake shattering every window in the district as a purple beam of light shot into the sky. There was so much information coming to her at once. _Shénshòujìng's_ neural interface was overwhelming, but it quickly dialed into her emotions and she _saw_ where she needed to go.

The demon mirror that would drive away curses, alchemy, and the power of relics with its terrifying light. It wasn’t just a weapon meant to defend, it was a weapon meant to hunt down and _destroy_ that which it saw as impure like a bloodhound. Only _she_ was the bloodhound.

And Miku could see those impurities now, as clear as day. Its sensors cut through buildings and distance and she saw the familiar bright light of Kirika. The impenetrable defenses of _Amalgam_ shattering under the opposing light.

And there, just down the street, was Jeanne.

Walking, no. _Strutting_ towards the two fallen wielders. Miku remembered the sound of that girl’s heartbeat in her ears, in her brain. The way Jeanne’s head pulsated and grew in size, beating faster and faster. Light teasing at the edges of the orifice. The way its thunderous orchestra seemed to just completely overwhelm any and all noise around it. 

The last thing that Kashiyami heard before she died.

The same thing that Kirika and Shirabe were hearing right now.

 _“NOOOOO!”_

The ball of heat that derailed the train. The destructive force that lit up the night sky. The same light that would be the last Shirabe and Kirika ever saw.

_You gonna do something?_

She raced against the sunrise.

And beat it with seconds to spare.

It hit her like a comet. For a second, everything was white, and Miku was certain that she had died, but she stood her ground in the air. Purple surges of energy tearing past her as she used her armed gear like a shield. The mirror that could reflect all that it had deemed impure was holding back all the forces of hell itself.

She felt Jeanne’s rage. Staring her down through the ball of death that Miku was holding back. Ruining her desire to murder, just like Tsubasa had done. Just like Kirika and Shirabe had done. Just like she, _Miku_ , had done.

Not Hibiki. Not Chris. Miku.

Always on the sidelines. Always the damsel. Always the bystander while other people got hurt.

Now she was the only thing between Jeanne and anyone else getting hurt.

And she was going to make sure Jeanne failed.

“ _YOU!”_

Her voice was the declaration of god, its roar drowning out the trumpeting heartbeat.

_“WILL NOT!”_

Life for a life? Who the hell was Jeanne to decide that they would be her sacrifices?

_“HURT!”_

Hibiki. Chris. Tsubasa. Genjuro. Souji. Kioku. Yumi. Kuriyo. Shiori. Iwasawa. Kirika. Shirabe.

_“ANYONE!”_

Kashiyami.

_“EVER!”_

Tears fell from red eyes under her visor. The hole in her heart became a void larger than space.

_“EVER!”_

She could stand the power of this blast. 

_“EVER!”_

If she could have fought from the beginning, none of this would have happened.

_“AGAIN!”_

With strength she did not have, she threw the ball of hellfire and destruction into the air. _._ She didn’t even hear it explode in the air, lighting up Tokyo like it was a second sun. All she could do was stare down the beast that returned her hateful glare.

**_“I will not stop. I cannot stop. I can still make it right.”_ **

“I know what you did.” Miku said angrily, hovering out of the ruins of the lobby towards the beast. “You can’t make it right. I won’t let you.”

**_“‘You know what I did.’”_ **

Its words were trying to be mocking, but there was a sad melancholy to them. A regret. A pathos. It made the void in Miku’s heart twinge with pain. 

“You tried to take away the people I love-”

**_“HOW AWFUL FOR YOU! THE ONES I LOVE HAVE ALREADY BEEN TAKEN FROM ME!”_ **

It was screaming at her but...it was also crying. Angry tears of pain and sadness. Like the ones Miku was crying right now. The bite of the cold night air hit her face as her visor opened, and she stared at the beast that was once a girl with her own eyes.

“Would they want you doing this?” Her shield turned into a fan as she gestured wildly at the destruction of the city around them. “Would the ones you love most want to see what you have become?” Her voice was shrill, carried on the cold night's winds.

**_"THE ONLY ONE I EVER LOVED IS DEAD! WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO LIVE WHILE SHE DIES COLD AND ALONE ON CHRISTMAS DAY?”_ **

The words cut like a knife to the heart.

Or a bullet to the lung.

Or a piece of shrapnel to the chest.

“What makes you think I want that right?” Miku laughed hoarsely, her own honestly shocking her. “You said before, life for a life. You’re trying to bring the one you love back right?” She hated Jeanne more than anyone in the world at that moment. 

And not because of what it had done.

The beast walked towards her, eyes glowering in hatred. Puddles formed from melted snow boiled as she passed, the grass burning from her presence alone.

**_“Do not speak like you know our pain. Not while you stand there in that Symphogear of yours. Not while you have your wishes granted while the only happiness me or Melody could ever have was in a dream!”_ **

She felt a raw kind of anger bubble up in her. “ _YOU THINK THIS THING GRANTS WISHES?”_ She roared in anger at her. “ _I HATE THIS THING! I HATE ALL OF THEM! I WISH THEY NEVER EXISTED! IF THEY NEVER EXISTED, IF I NEVER EXISTED, THEN I- "_ She stopped herself, feeling like she had been slapped, as Shiori’s face blinked into her mind.

_I don’t think you’re sad. I think you’re depressed._

_“_ Shut up.” Miku wiped at her eyes, the visor closing. She saw just how much energy was radiating from Jeanne now. It was like the more upset she was, the more powerful she became, but that was not what disturbed her. What disturbed her was the gleeful look that seemed to overtake Jeanne’s face.

**_“I think we can help each other.”_ **

Its words were cruel and taunting, poking at the edges of her brain. Horrible dark and secret thoughts that she never acknowledged coming out like water in the cracks of a dam.

 _“Shut up!”_ Miku shouted, pointing her fan at her shakily. The righteous anger and fury that she had so much of before now no more than a fleeting memory.

**_“Life for a life. That was the deal. I take her life, and I get my Melody back.”_ **

Miku felt a horrible cold sensation come over her. Goosebumps up and down her back. Jeanne was closing the distance between them, and yet she felt herself rooted to the spot. “I won’t let you take her!” Her words shook, but they were the only ones that came to her.

And then the beast grinned horribly at her, its jagged teeth shining in the night light. 

**_“Who said it had to be her?”_ **

It launched itself at her. Its blade coming at her like a reaper's scythe. The same blade of death that had come for all of them. For Hibiki. For Chris. For Kioku. For Yumi. For Kuriyo. For Shiori. For Souji. For Tsubasa. For Genjuro. For Kirika. For Shirabe. For her.

For Kashiyami.

_I will do all that is within my power to ensure your well being._

She ducked the blade, and putting all of the demon’s mirrors into her boots, she did what she was better at than anyone else in her entire school. 

She ran.

~!~

_“Is something wrong, Miku-kun?”_

_Miku was hunched over with her head between her legs. She was a sweaty mess from the run up the side of the mountain they had just done. She had not been on a workout like that since middle school and the years of neglecting her track regime had caught up to her here._

_“I’m fine.”_

_A terrible lie. Truthfully, while she felt ready to throw up her lungs, and her legs were like two noodles rather than anything resembling human anatomy, that wasn’t the source of the irritating pounding in her head._

_“The wellbeing of the mind is just as important as the well being of the body.” Genjuro said, giving her a kind, but stern look._

_‘He sees right through me.’_

_“I just…” Miku bit her lip, trying to toe the line between being respectful and honest. “Are you mocking me?” She regretted the words the second they left her mouth, looking at the ground and wishing beyond hope the world would swallow her up._

_“Mocking you?” Genjuro’s words sounded confused, his shadow enveloping her, and she shook in anticipation. Only to feel the bright sunlight hit her face once again as he knelt down at her. “Miku-kun.” He gave her a towel to wipe away the tears she didn’t notice were starting to form. “What’s brought this on? What have I done to make you feel that you are being mocked?”_

_The words seemed to dry up in her throat and she felt humiliated. “I’m supposed to be training to fight alongside Hibiki and…” She gestured uselessly around her. “All we’ve done is run. All we’ve done is run for weeks!” Her voice rose and she regretted it, but Genjuro did not flinch back._

_“That’s correct Miku-kun.” Genjuro replied with a nod. “It’s only to help build up your conditioning. You are making incredible strides in a short amount of time-”_ _  
__  
__“No I’m not!” Miku felt her voice raise an octave. “I’m not even close to what I was able to do back on the team! And now I am just gonna be dragging Hibiki and the others behind because I can’t figh-oh!” His giant hand pressed down on the top of her head like a button, and for a moment, she felt her anxieties and worries melt in an instant._

_“You’re right, Miku-kun.” Genjuro said honestly._

_That was not the response she expected._

_“About...what?”_

_“I have only been training you to run.” He said simply, smiling a smile that didn’t reach his eyes._

_“You...have?” Miku’s lip quivered, and she felt herself ready to burst into tears._

_“Miku-kun, you have only joined us very recently as a Wielder,” He paused for a moment to sit down, looking serious. “In that time period I have trained you to run exclusively for one very simple reason.” He looked grave as he stared her eye to eye. “Because if a situation happens where we need to call on the wielders, that is exactly what I want you to do: Run.”_

_His honesty broke her heart, and for seconds that felt like years she wanted to scream at him. Demand he lie and tell her something else. For whatever reason, his unflinching forthcomingness was harsher than anything she could dream up with._

_“But why?” Miku demanded, stamping her foot down. “Why won’t you train me how to fight? Why won’t you let me fight alongside them? I can fight too!” Her voice hitched in her throat, and she had to swallow. “Why is it the only time I’m allowed to fight...it’s against everyone?”_

_Genjuro’s face lit up with revelation. That was not the conclusion he had expected her to draw._

_“Is that it? You don’t want to teach me how to fight so it’s easier to take me down if I go rogue again?” Miku asked, shocked by her own daring._

_“No!” Genjuro assured her, standing up quickly. “Miku-kun!” He put his hands on her shoulders and looked at her as seriously as she had ever seen him look. “I do not think that you will go rogue again. I…” Words failed him then, and to her shock, he broke eye contact. “I simply do not want to see your eagerness for battle to be your downfall.”_

_Miku blinked, as if her own feeling of betrayal had hit a speedbump. “My downfall…?”_

_“We are more than just sentinels.” He looked up at her again, pain in his eyes. “We are not just lifeless husks living by the code of the Bushido like my father wished for myself and Tsubasa. You are barely into your adulthood, and have suffered more than most do in their entire lives. I do not want to see you throw away your life.” He stopped himself, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I don’t want your life to end because of a Symphogear.”_

_It was in the pauses between words that Miku made sense of what he was trying to say._

_Don’t be like Kanade._

_“So that is why I am training you to run. Not because I don’t want you to fight, but because I want you to know that there are times in a fight.” He swallowed, stopping himself and starting again. “Sometimes all you can do is run.”_

_“What if I have to run away, but I can’t?”_

_“Then…that is a moment, where you fight.”_

~!~

She hated her.

Not because she tried to kill Hibiki. Not because she tried to kill all her friends. Not even because she did kill Kashiyami. Part of her wished she could hate Jeanne for those reasons, but she couldn’t. She could certainly look at herself in the mirror and say that was the case. That she hated Jeanne for all the things she had done to them, and all the things she was doing to her right now.

But that would make her a liar.

_I’m not sad._

No. She hated Jeanne because when she gazed at that horrible beast, she saw a monster. A monster of great and terrible destruction. An abomination of sin and shame, birthed out of the most selfish desires in the blackest heart of an individual who was beyond salvation. A spawn of vile and disgusting origin, that would disregard the pain of others for a singular individual.

She hated Jeanne because when she looked at her she saw nothing but a mirror.

She hated Jeanne because she was just Miku.

She had no idea who Jeanne was. Who Melody was. What deal had been offered to them, or what their unique circumstances were. But she could piece it together. Melody was dead, and Jeanne had been offered some kind of deal to get her back. So long as she killed Hibiki, or her, or maybe any of the other Wielders. 

And Miku could smell the burning corpses. Hear the final screams.as lives were extinguished. And how despite that, it would not stop Jeanne. Because of course it wouldn’t. Miku knew that. After all, it wouldn’t stop her.

She felt a great shame. Disgusted at how pathetically predictable her own black heart was. She didn’t even have to think about it. If it took killing someone else to make sure Hibiki lived...it wasn’t even something Miku had to think about. She knew what she would do. And so did everyone else around them. Even complete strangers like that bastard Dr. Ver could see her horrible truth.

That Miku would happily end the world to keep her Hibiki.

**_“DON’T YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON ME!”_ **

Miku could feel Jeanne closing in. She could easily reach supersonic speeds, but she could tell Jeanne couldn’t. When Genjuro had told her that sometimes all she would be able to do is run, she didn’t understand, but she did now.

She could see all of them.

All the people of this city.

Staring up at her in awe. Turning their heads at the catch of a light. Hair fluttering behind them as the vacuum created by her dash tore into the street around them all. All the little people, who lived their lives in the aftermath of the Age of Balel with so many less concerns than before. Those concerns that were brought back to life like the living dead by the mere sight of her and that beast.

And that was why she had run.

She’d seen the bodies. Smelled the blood. Heard the crying. The last gasps. The endless loss of life from the explosions born from Jeanne’s evil eye. Was that eye the last thing that Hibiki saw before she tried to take her life? The thought made Miku want to explode with rage and smash Jeanne into a fine green paste on the ground.

But this was not just about Hibiki now.

This was about everyone.

Not her girlfriend. Not her best friend. Not her classmates. Or her bodyguard, or anyone specific.

This wasn’t even about Miku.

This was about everyone. About anyone.

Because Jeanne was not just stopping with them. She was cutting through anyone, and everyone.

So Miku would protect, anyone and everyone.

Maybe she was no different than Jeanne. Maybe the two of them were just reflections of each other. 

But Miku had broken mirrors before.

And she would break another.

~!~

_“Yumi, how long is this anime exactly?” Miku said somewhat trepidatiously._

_Yumi looked at Miku, and then to the stack of discs that contained the 800+ anime and its various movies. “Not too long.” She chirped, getting a disc from near the center of the stack. “Here, we can skip the initial series and go to the one that is more well liked!”_

_Miku could hear the slight disappointment in her voice and felt guilty. Yumi had all but offered to help her train in researching how to creatively use Shénshòujìngs many beam attacks. Genjuro had even offered to lend Yumi a classic anime series from his youth to aid in it, only for Yumi to smugly point out that her collection of the series was superior to Genjuro’s._

_“If you think it will help, I don’t mind watching. Whatever you think is best.” Miku said politely before a big bowl of popcorn was dropped into her lap from behind._

_“Don’t tell her that ‘Hina,” Kuriyo remarked as she lept over the back of the couch gracefully. “She’ll have you watch the movies too. All Twenty three of them.” She said, shuddering from experience._

_“You liked the last one I showed you!” Yumi said defensively. A gentle hand patted Yumi on the head, making her jump red faced._

_“Volume, Yumi.” Shiori said in a motherly tone as she sat on the couch. “Shall we begin?”_

_Yumi’s face was still red as a tomato before she eventually hit play. Miku had heard Kuriyo warn her about the pace of the show before, but this was on a whole other level of being slow. But far more exciting than the show itself, was watching Yumi’s reactions to it. It was like the girl was watching the show for the very first time, a little kid glued to the TV on a Saturday morning, eyes dancing around the screen just to keep up._

_Shiori was the first to fall asleep. Her head lowered ever so slightly as she nodded off as PM became AM. Yumi was next, all the vibrant energy in the world must have been incredibly draining on her. Despite the fact that neither Miku or Kuriyo had any real interest in watching the show outside of how it related to Miku’s training, they still found themselves watching it in comfortable silence._

_It was after the fifth flashback to the part in the show where the main hero’s son headbutted the evil older brother in the chest that Kuriyo broke the silence. “Hey ‘Hina?” She said it softly, so not as to disturb the others._

_“Yeah?”_

_“When did you realize it was Bikki?”_

_Miku felt herself flush at the question, slipping off the couch to rest her back against it so she could sit right next to Kuriyo. “I don’t know really. It was something I…” She felt a rare genuine smile across her face. “I want to say it was something I always knew. Or always wanted to know.” She shook her head. “I just. I couldn’t imagine a life without her. Every time I thought about her it was like my heart was made of sunlight.”_

_Silence filled the space between them._

_“So it is love…” Kuriyo whispered so quietly Miku wasn’t even sure if she was meant to hear._

_“It’s confusing.” Miku admitted honestly. “It makes you feel crazy sometimes. The things that you love most about the person become the things that drive you up the wall about them. You memorize their little tics and quirks and those things will drive you insane. Sometimes to the point that you wanna scream. Sometimes to the point that all you wanna do is kiss them.”_

_Miku smiled to herself, lost in thought. “Sometimes just thinking about them is a reminder that no matter how bad a day is, you have someone in your corner.” She brought her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. “It’s terrifying. But just having someone like that...someone who has a hold of your heart. It’s a reason to smile. It’s a reason to fight. It’s a reason to wake up in the morning.” She felt herself stammering and it dawned on her right then; not since that wonderful night under the meteor shower had she ever been this open with her feelings._

_Kuriyo was quiet for a long time before she broke the silence again. “It’s worth it.” She didn’t say it like a question._

_“It absolutely is.”_

_“LEAVE MY DADDY ALONE!”_

_“Pfffffffffft.” Both girls had to clasp their hands over their mouths to keep from laughing. The abrupt way the anime broke the seriousness of the conversation was nothing short of hysterical, both doing their best to suppress their laughter lest they wake up the others. The anime was showing yet another flashback to the young child suddenly headbutting the villain. Miku was pretty sure they had flashed back to this moment a dozen times by now._

_“Why does she like such terrible anime?” Kuriyo wondered aloud. “She drives me crazy.” She remarked, resting her hand on her chin as she stared at Yumi._

_“You should see the movies Hibiki has us watch together.” Miku laughed softly. “She can’t clean up after herself, but she treats those movies like they are precious artifacts.”_

_“You should see Shiroi when she gets into cleaning mode.” Kuriyo said, switching her gaze to the sleeping blonde. “She’s like a reverse tornado.” Words seemed to fail her for a moment. “She just...takes your breath away.”_

_Miku raised an eyebrow at that. “Yeah?”_

_Kuriyo’s face turned red and she smiled slyly at Miku. “You know I was going to ask you something else.” She remarked, as if reassuring herself. “But I think I know already.”_

_Miku saw the glint in the girl's violet eyes, and for a moment, regretted how neglected she had let their friendship become. “May I know what it is?”_

_“LEAVE MY DADDY ALONE!”_

_“Again?!?” They both said at the same time. Staring at the screen as the flashback repeated itself once more, they could barely keep it together._

_“Why are we still watching this?” Kuriyo said, getting comfortable once more, making no effort to turn it off._

_“It’s supposed to teach me how to fight.” Miku said, feeling her eyelids become heavier and heavier._

_“Is headbutting part of being a Warrior of Symphogear?” Kuriyo asked with a soft laugh._

_“Is that what Yumi calls us?” Miku laughed._

_“She’s so jealous of you guys. Wants her life to be anime just like yours.” Kuriyo said freely, drowsiness in her voice._

_“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, trust me.” Miku said._

_“I guess that’s why we’re watching this crap right? For the times it’s not all it’s cracked up to be?” Kuriyo muttered. “To learn how to fight for the ones we love most.” The last words were so soft they were almost silent._

_“I guess so.” Miku said, feeling Kuriyo’s head resting against her shoulder. “What was the question you had?”_

_“If it’s possible to love more than one person…” Kuriyo said sleepily._

_Miku smiled, resting her head on top of Kuriyo’s as she nodded off. “And you think you know the answer already?” Snoring was her answer, and it made her smile as she drifted off to sleep._

_She dreamt of Hibiki telling her why she wanted to fight. To protect an uneventful, typical everyday life. She didn’t understand it then, but she did now. Be it what she was protecting was watching terrible anime into the witching hour with friends, going to a concert, or a simple kiss under shooting stars._

_~!~_

Uneventful.

**_“I’LL KILL YOU!”_ **

Typical.

**_“LIFE FOR A LIFE!”_ **

Everyday.

“Hibiki!”

Life.

There was a moment just before a race would begin that seemed to defy the laws of time. It was the seconds between the whistle blowing to tell the runners to get set and the gunshot which signaled the start of the race. Every muscle tensed like a tightly wound spring. The tension is unbearable. You feel like you are going to throw up; god would that fucking gun just go off and then BANG!

Miku blasted off like a jet. The sonic boom obliterating the bulbs in the street lights around her. Jeanne was descending upon her, ready to impale her on her blade. Miku had chosen the highway where Chris and Maria had once fought Noble Red, still under reconstruction, away from as many civilians as possible.

Shooting like a comet towards Jeanne, she saw the hate in the beast's eyes. All of a sudden it all came back to her. Elfnein told her about how the _Shénshòujìng_ was weaker compared to the other Gears. About how her reliance on LiNKER would limit her. About how they had to work on getting her _Amalgam_.

She also remembered the last thing Elfnein had said to her.

_“And you Miku-san, are a relic killer.”_

And then she remembered her training.

**_“WHAT?!?”_ **

Ducking her head, her charge was faster than lighting. Too fast for Jeanne to react or even comprehend, Miku’s skull collided with the monster's chest. She tore through the beast's torso and exploded out its back like a bullet. She had no time to comprehend the blood in her hair, or the gore on her visor, hearing only Jeanne’s cry of shock and agony at the vacancy in her chest. 

Deploying dozens of mirrors at once, she fired them off like a meteor shower. In her haste, she missed the black tendril like whips on Jeanne’s left hand. With a life of their own they wrapped themselves around a streetlight and catapulted Jeanne out of the way just in the nick of time. The purple beams of light missing Jeanne by centimeters.

Jeanne was out of sight, but _Shénshòujìng_ could still see her aura through the overpass. To Miku’s horror she could see the beast not only maintaining its momentum but its aura was increasing in power. The trumpeting heartbeat growing to a threatening crescendo.

The ionocraft modules on her legs opened up, as two half circles of a mirror framed her. She had only seconds to charge it with _Shénshòujìng’s_ purifying light. Jeanne slingshot from the underside of the highway, its head surging and swelling with bright light.

 _Shénshòujìng’s_ bright purple light and the demon's yellow sun within the evil eye lit up the night sky with power, as Miku and Jeanne soared towards each other.

**_“OWIE OWIE-”_ **

_“Bye bye!”_

_~!~_

_Cold._

_She was falling._

_Twisting, swirling, sinking into the depths._

_The ice entered her lungs and froze her throat. Far colder than the bottom of Lake Vostok. It was a suffocating, all encompassing pressure around her head and body. Like the devil herself held her in the palm of its hand, trying to squeeze her to death between its frozen fingers._

_There’s a beeping sound. Far away, like an irritating cricket just out of sight. Easy to ignore...easy to just...not pay any mind._

_The more she thought about the beeping, the more it hurt. A hollow pain in the center of her palm that spiderwebbed up her arm and down her back. Her shoulders aching with the most pain she’d ever known, and the top of her head feeling like a balloon with a hole in it. Anything and everything just leaking right out of it. A river of her, painting the frozen sea red._

_It hurt less...if she just didn’t think about it._

_And if you got cold enough...you wouldn’t feel any pain at all._

_You wouldn’t feel anything at all._

_She knew it all too well._

_She discovered it on Christmas day after all_

_“A happy family has a happy home.”_

_Her own words. Thrown back in her face like acid. Her heart twisted and lurched at it. She’s there suddenly, scrubbing desperately at the writing on her home. The words telling her the same things she told herself when no one, not even Miku could hear._

**_KILL YOURSELF_ **

**_MURDERER_ **

**_THIEF_ **

**_YOU KILLED MY LITTLE GIRL!_ **

_It was like there was something underneath her skin. Her heartbeat was like a thunderous orchestra in her head. She could feel something moving through her veins. Like the roots of a terrible weed moving up and down her arms and legs. Into her chest, up her neck, the painful noise of her own heartbeat becoming deafening._

_She could feel it now…_

_The strings of a violin. Stringing her up like a cross. The cold wintery night entering the room like a predator. Behind her, on the streets of frozen Tokyo below she could hear herself. Hear her own horrible selfish voice._

_“I can tell her I believed in the song in my heart.”_

_She can hear Chris gasping. Chris falling into Miku’s arms. The panic attack seized her in a nightmare of her past that she, yes the one and only Tachibana Hibiki had made impossible for her to forget._

_The heartbeat is getting louder._

_“Tsubasa-san...Finé, she...she raped Chris, didn’t she?”_

_She tried to scream but something was in her throat. She tried to struggle but the strings cut into her wrists. She couldn’t handle this. Anything but this. Anything but this. Anything but this. Anything but thi—_

_“GIVE UP ON LIFE!”_

_Kanade’s voice rang in her ears. No, in her brain. Louder than any heartbeat. It was not vines underneath her skin; no, it felt like fingers, cutting a hole in her veins and forcing themselves in. Thick little worm-like fingers squirming their way inside of her. Thick bumps in her neck and chest. Going for her brain. Going for her heart._

_But when she opened her eyes, she couldn’t hear Miku anymore. She couldn’t hear the blip, or the heartbeat, or Tsubasa, or Chris, or even herself. All she could do was see. See her._

_Finé._

_“Aw you’re so cute. Time to make you mine before someone else gets to you.”_

_She found her voice._

_“Why!” Hibiki demanded. “Why are you doing this? Why are you doing any of this?” She felt tears streaming down her face, the uncaring golden eyes staring back at her. “Why are you trying to hurt us? We just wanted to help you! Why!” No matter how much she screamed, she couldn’t hear herself over the sound of the heart beating in her head._

_“WHY WON’T YOU JUST LEAVE US ALONE!?!”_

_Silence filled the room, Finé’s lips slowly turning into a snarl of disgust. “What about the song in your heart?” She said softly, walking towards her. “Did you forget my words? Did you forget to believe in the song of your heart?” A horrible finger slid down the cut that ran down the side of Hibiki’s face from Jeanne’s knife._

_“No…” Hibiki whispered. “Gungnir and I…” She felt its absence against her chest and lost her voice. Her breath hitching in dim realization as she looked up into Finé’s eyes._

_“Never forgive. Never forget. Never let go of the hate in your heart.” Finé said triumphantly, holding Hibiki’s chin in the palm of her hand. “You did. That’s why this is happening.”_  
 _  
_“No…” Hibiki whimpered. “Please. I just want to understand-” Her protest died in her throat as Finé’s glare grew darker.

_“You still don’t understand. Pain is the only thing that can connect our hearts.” Her expression turned into a terrifying mania. It looked hungry, excited, downright giddy. “And you Hibiki, are going to cause so much pain.”_

_“No...No!” Hibiki shouted in her face, which just made Finé even angrier. Even more excited._

_“Jeanne said the same thing. She’s been a lovely little test subject, even if she has made things a fucking mess.” Her nails were digging into Hibiki’s flesh now, and she could once again hear the heartbeat trumpeting loudly._

_“Jeanne?”_

_“Oh you still don’t know.” She looked positively delighted by this. “But you will. And when you do, it will consume you. And when it does, not even the brightest light of your precious sunshine will be able to save you.” Her smirk sent shivers down her spine. “For only pain can connect our hearts, and you will reach out your hands like you did for Finé all those years ago and sow the seeds of your own destruction.”_

_Hibiki felt it then. The worms crawling under her flesh, seizing at her temples, ready to sink into her brain. Into her heart._

_But in all the noise and the fear, Hibiki latched onto something._

_A single phrase said by the woman she saw in front of her. One phrase that seemed ever so slightly out of place._

_And so, she asked her question._

_Shock crossed the blonde woman's face, her nostrils flaring with rage. “Your justice is a lie. You believe in me. You believe in the song in your heart. I am the song in your heart.” Her golden eyes were flaring with rage, looking angrier than Hibiki had ever seen anyone look before._

_But not as furious as the voice that filled the room like a symphony of anger._

_“EVEN IF THAT'S TRUE!”_

_A bright golden light blinded her. She closed her eyes, and could feel herself falling._

_Falling…_

_Falling…._

_Deeper…_

_Down the—_

_“Will you take my hand once again, Tachibana Hibiki?”_

_That voice...that light...no? Could it be?_

_Hibiki opened her eyes, standing there in her regal coat, her tealish silver hair shining in the black void they both stood in, was the woman who held justice to her heart as close as Hibiki did. “Saint Germain-san!” She cried out, pressing her forehead against the back of her palm. “It’s...you? This isn’t a trick?” She looked into the older woman’s blue eyes, which looked into hers with empathetic understanding._

_“I am here. And as real as Tachibana Hibiki needs me to be.” She stated, squeezing her hand tight. “But why are you here?” Her words filled Hibiki with a warmth that just minutes ago felt like she might never experience again._

_Hibiki thought for several minutes, letting go of her hand and sitting down. “I screwed up.” The stare of Saint Germain would not allow her to leave it at that. “Saint Germain-san...what do you do when your justice causes injustice?” The words hurt her as she spoke them, the loud beeping of a heart rate monitor pounding the back of her head again. “What do you do when the hand you stretch out to others pulls in those who hurt the ones closest to you?”_

_She looked up at the alchemist, unable to stop the tears. “What do you do when you forgive the unforgivable?”_

_Saint Germain’s powerful gaze washed over her. It was not one of condonement or condemnation. It was a warm, pure understanding, and when she spoke, Hibiki listened._

_“Whatever you can to make it right.” She sat next to her then. Despite the black void that seemed to go on endlessly in all directions, Hibiki could almost feel like her legs hanging off the edge. Like she had done with Tsubasa just a few days ago._

_“Even when I’m what caused the pain?”_

_“Tachibana Hibiki!” Saint Germain snapped, getting Hibiki to look at her directly. “Do not crucify yourself for the sins of others. Or have you so easily forgotten that that very mindset is eclipsing the one who holds your heart?” As she spoke, a scene began to develop before them. Of Miku sitting on the couch, drinking the hot cocoa that Hibiki had made her after a horrible nightmare._

_“Miku!” Hibiki stood then, feeling her heart pounding a million miles a minute. Not like before no. This was something else. “Saint Germain-san! Miku is-”_

_“Fighting for her life. Just like you are.”_

_The scene before them faded, and in its place, was a blurry vision. Like one you would get through half closed eyelids, but she could hear Ogawa’s voice. “Miku-san is engaging the enemy?”_

_“Miku…” Hibiki felt it then. The pain in her hand, her face, her shoulders, her head, her back. “It hurts!” She cried out, Saint Germain’s hand on her back the only thing keeping her from getting sick._

_“This pain too shall pass.” Saint Germain comforted her. “Tachibana Hibiki. Do not condemn yourself for showing the kindness that you were never shown.” Her voice was as powerful as it had ever been, and it rang in Hibiki’s mind as much as her own thoughts. “Or have you forgotten the justice that lies in your heart?”_

_“No!” Hibiki cried out, pain surging in her heart. “Finé’s wrong!” She said with her teeth gritted in pain. “It’s not pain that connects us! It’s reaching out to others when we are in pain! It’s reaching out to others who are in pain! That’s what connects us!” She punched the ground, letting out a guttural cry that echoed in the comforting darkness._

_“This is my justice! Reaching out to people is my Symphogear!”_

_~!~_

_“They’ve recovered the Commander. He’s hurt, but in stable condition.”_

Elfnein breathed a sigh of relief, “Thank you Fujitaka-san.” She said sincerely, flinching as she heard a distant explosion. She hated this part the absolute most. Being able to do nothing but hurry up and wait to see how injured everyone was. Or to see if anyone came back at all. 

_“And Tsubasa-san?”_ Ogawa’s voice broke over the open comms. She couldn’t help but flinch. She’d been helpless but to watch how Tsubasa was shot out of the sky by that horrible monster. The fact that she was alive was nothing short of a miracle.

“ _She’s stable. They are moving her to the same hospital as Hibiki-san.”_ Tomosato's voice answered.

_See Master? Miracles are not so bad…_

She shook the thought out of her head, beyond happy about the turnaround. Clutching _Ichaival_ in her hand, she finally got back to the intersection that Miku had sprinted from. She had hoped that she’d be able to return Chris’s Gear to her, but they had already taken her and the others away. Seeing the red lights flashing away should have brought her comfort, but instead she just had a lingering feeling of anxiety that she could not find the source too. Like a word that was just on the tip of her tongue but she could not quite place it. Why was she feeling like this? Chris and her friends were on their way to the hospital, as were Kirika and Shirabe. People were hurt, but they were alive. Why was she feeling like she was forgetting something drastically important?

“ _They are preparing to operate on Hibiki-san shortly. I may be unreachable.”_ Ogawa warned over the comms. “ _Do we know anything at all about the relic beast? Is it linked to Hibiki-san’s attacker?”_

Elfnein paused, getting to the site of the train crash. She could see the blanket that they had laid over Kashiyami’s body and it was like all the joy had been drained out of her in the world. How many close calls would they have? How many chances would they be given? How many fights would they be able to walk away from?

 _“Well that damn thing's name is Jeanne, I know that much._ ” Souji’s gruff voice came over the comms. 

They had lost people in their battles before. Her master sacrificed her own life in defiance of a god. Saint Germain protected them one last time, and Yatsuhiro made one last stand for his daughter.

 _“Did it say anything else?”_ The younger Ogawa sibling asked.

And before that, Maria had lost her sister in the collapsing lab of the original FIS. And of course, Tsubasa lost her first love Kanade due to a tragic maelstrom of circumstances of not having her—wait.

“ _No,_ ” Souji responded. “ _It’s all speculation at this point. She didn’t say anything to conclusively link her to Dr. Sakurai.”_

“Link her,” Elfnein whispered into the comms, the horrible realization hitting her like a tsunami. “Link her link her link her LINKER LINKER LINKER I FORGOT THE LINKER!”

“Miku-san!” Ogawa’s voice broke over the comms.

“ _GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”_ Fujitaka screamed, at what Elfnein could only hope was a sprinting Tomosato. Could she get there in time? Elfnein had taken Fujitaka’s car!

If Miku was fighting that beast, she had…minutes...if not…

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, _no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO!”_ Elfnein screamed, running as fast as her little legs could take her.

~!~

**_“NOW YOU DIE!”_ **

Miku recovered in midair, Jeanne flying at her before she could react. The great knife sliced through the air, striking her right in the back, shattering the illusion like a broken mirror.

**_“WHAT!?! Where are-GAH!”_ **

Miku’s roundhouse kick caught Jeanne right across the chin, making her visible once again. But just as quickly as she appeared she vanished, Jeanne swinging wildly in the place she had just been.

 **_“GODDAMN YOU!”_ **

Jeanne’s scream echoed in the ruins of the highway they were fighting on. The whips at the end of her left hand lashed out, her swinging in a vicious circle, her whips catching the invisible Miku, who reappeared. Like snakes, they began to wrap around her.

**_“I FOUND YOU!”_ **

The beast flew at her, ready to cut the real her in half just as it had done to her reflection. Quickly redeploying her armed gear in its uncollapsed fan form, she fired a bright purple beam that shattered the great knife. The shards of the blade glittered in the night sky, throwing Jeanne off her trajectory as she crashed into the ground like a boulder. Opening the fan fully, Miku threw it like a boomerang, the mirrored fan cutting through the tendrils at the end of Jeanne’s arm. As soon as the severance occurred, the whips around her disintegrated.

Opening her ionocraft modules once more, she began to deploy the mirrors once again, but cancelled when she heard the trumpeting heartbeat.

**_“OWIE OWIE BYE-BYE!”_ **

Deploying her armed Gear to itsfull circular fan configuration, she used it to hit the great orange ball of light like it was a volleyball. It soared high into the air, lighting up the night sky once again. The fourteen small mirrors on the shield like fan lit up, firing off all at once towards Jeanne.

**_~F_ _LASH~_ **

Jeanne leapt over the lazers at the last possible second, barely avoiding certain death. Anger fueling her, she turned over in mid air, driving her fist into the ground with tremendous force. Miku brought her hands up to her face reflexively, forgetting her visor was already protecting her eyes, when the earth opened up beneath her. A spire of tendrils erupted like a geyser, wrapping her up helplessly. It was like she had been rolled up in a carpet, and try as she might, she couldn’t even move any of her limbs, let alone deploy one of her mirrors to make an escape path.

_No! No! No!_

**_“Why do you fight?”_ **

It was then that Miku saw. The black whips that had been on the back of Jeanne’s hand had dug into the ground, coming out like an explosion of snakes to ensnare her. The hole she had made in Jeanne’s chest had already regenerated, but what she also noticed, was that the top half of Jeanne’s great knife had not. 

And Jeanne noticed it too.

**_“What did you do to me?”_ **

The aura of rage just seemed to swirl more and more as she inspected the wound on the tip of the blade. The tendrils around Miku just tightened more and more, squeezing her like an anaconda. She could feel _Shénshòujìng_ crying out in agony as it was compressed in, crackling with electricity under the strain.

**_“ANSWER ME!”_ **

The words echoed in the street, shaking Miku even within the confines of the snare. Jeanne ripped the tendrils out of the back of her hand before leaping up to where Miku was wrapped up, stabbing the edge of the broken blade right next to the wielder's head.

**_“Didn’t you say you want to disappear?”_ **

Every part of the _Shénshòujìng_ was screaming at being within the beast's proximity, but what struck Miku the most was the _smell_. The beast's husky breath and closeness flooded her nostrils with a smell like rotten eggs that had been drizzled over rotten meat, before being left to soak in a pool of sweat and feces.

_“Shut up!”_

It was all she could say. She knew that Jeanne was toying with her. She could kill her at any minute. She had to figure a way out of this. If she didn’t then there’d be no one to stop Jeanne. 

**_“Don’t worry. I’ll make your wish come true.”_ **

Its toothy grin breathed in her face, drool coming out of its mouth and dripping onto her face. But it leaned back, cocking its head at her curiously, and despite its grisly appearance, Miku could see what was undeniably a human face. A human face that was now lifting its arm up high, the edge of the broken blade the weapon of an executioner.

“Hibiki!”

She shouted it so loudly and so suddenly, it gave Jeanne pause. Even with the cracks in the skin all over its body and the large pulsating heart like organ on the side of its head, it still was able to look confused.

**_“What about her?”_ **

Miku swallowed, opening up her visor, one of only two things she could do from this position. “You asked me why I fight. That’s why. Hibiki.” Her lip trembled. “I want to give her back the life I took from her.” The blade began to tremble, before lowering ever so slightly.

**_“The life you took from her?”_ **

“Life for a life right?” Miku said, grinning despite herself. “That’s what I’m doing. Because a long time ago I murdered Hibiki. I took away the life she should have had.” Furious tears poured from her face. “I love her, and for some reason she loves me too. I’ll never understand why, but that doesn't matter!” She yelled, Jeanne backing up as she did so.

“So yes. I do want to disappear. But I don’t deserve that luxury!” She said furiously, the coils that held her shaking in trying to keep her bound. “Because Hibiki deserves better. So I’ll do anything and everything to make sure that Hibiki lives the life she deserves too! Because I love her! And like _hell_ I am going to let you get in the way of that!” The coils began to break as she started to force herself free of her bondage.

**_“STOP!”_ **

There was fear in Jeanne’s voice, tendrils shooting from the back of her hand into the spire to strengthen it, which did nothing but fuel Miku’s rage.

_“NO! I won’t stop! No one can stop me! Certainly not you!”_

**_“Just watch me!”_ **

_“ARMOR PURGE!”_ Miku’s body exploded. The Gear turned into shrapnel that ripped through Jeanne’s body and the spire like bullets, sending her flying back against the collapsed highway. 

Miku fell to the ground, her ankle twisting as she hit the uneven concrete, catching herself with her elbow. Adrenaline still pumping through her veins, she tried to and failed to stand up, stumbling forward. She knew she had only seconds before Jeanne would be on her again, but to her shock, she saw Jeanne, laying on its back and staring off into the distance. She followed her line of sight to a support column near the edge of the river that the overpass ran near. Miku was not very familiar with this area, but knew there was not much on this side of town, outside of a few homeless shelters and soup kitchens.

**_“Melody…”_ **

Something glistened off of Jeanne’s face, and it took Miku a second to realize what she was witnessing. Jeanne, now on its hands and knees, with tears in her one normal eye, staring at the column with absolute heartbreak. The trumpeting heartbeat was going as fast as Miku had ever heard it, sounding more like a sonic earthquake than anything remotely possible for a human organ to be able to do.

 **_“Mel! Please! Wake up! It’s Christmas!”_ ** Jeanne screamed desperately, tearing at its disgusting hair in frustration. **_“PLEASE!”_ ** She slammed the earth hard enough to make Miku stumble again, before an explosive column of energy engulfed her entirely. What should have sounded like a monstrous scream of something right out of the depths of hell, just sounded like a young girl sobbing what was left of her heart out.

Miku was familiar with the feeling.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, clutching _Shénshòujìng_ in the palm of her hand. 

**_"Rei Shénshòujìng rei tron!”_ **

A violent burst of energy gathered her _Symphogear_ around her, the visor coming closed as she stared down the beast that was in the column of smoke. Every single thing in her Gear was screaming in alarm at the vast increase of energy. But that’s not all it was picking up, and Miku could even sense it.

Two large black leathery wings opened up within the column of smoke. The wind caught fire, as the now much taller Jeanne stepped forward, air crackling around her. Miku could see that the connective skin between the spines of the wings was not skin, but rather two massive eyes, stretched out horrifically. It looked like a bad special effect, superimposed onto a wall by a projector at a cheap haunted house, not the wings of a horrific beast that now stood over three meters tall. Her teeth were now that of a horrific cheshire cat grin, each tooth as large as a butcher knife, and looked even sharper.

**_“DIE!”_ **

Jeanne launched at her with a terrifying speed. If Miku had been a second slower, she would have been decapitated. But in all her watching Hibiki and the others fight, and countless hours of watching anime had taught her anything, it was to take advantage of the enemy transforming. She knew _Shénshòujìng’s Shooting Star_ attack at full power could likely end Jeanne; it had destroyed the nearly indestructible Reflectors of _Ichaival_ after all, but the time it took to charge up was not time she had available. But she did still have time to prepare something to buy her that time.

When Jeanne struck, Miku backflipped just in the nick of time to avoid a very sudden decapitation, and with a flash, six more of her appeared at once. Jeanne landed swiftly after her first missed attack, turning on a dime and striking at where Miku had been, once again barely missing her. Only now instead of one, there were six, Miku concealing herself with _Wizard Stealth._

**_“ENOUGH!”_ **

Miku had to work fast, because Jeanne certainly was. Miku’s illusionary clones all sped around the demon at high speeds, trying to evade attacks, but Jeanne was significantly faster now, kicking one out of the air hard enough to shatter it completely. Not wasting any time, Miku plugged the black cables into her ionocraft modules, deploying the semicircular segments outward until they formed the ring around her.

She had to devote all her mental capacity to moving the clones around in a whirlwind-like circle, letting _Shénshòujìng_ essentially autopilot its own attack. Its charge up time was painfully long, and Jeanne was now far quicker than she was before. A dizzying display of speed as it leapt back and forth, swiping with its whip and broken sword, shattering one clone right out of the air. A whip crack against another shattered it then and there, followed shortly by another kicked hard enough that it would have decapitated her had she received it. The plus side was, the more clones that Jeanne took out, the easier the remaining ones were for Miku to focus on mentally.

The two remaining clones were going as fast as possible, still keeping Jeanne in one place, as Miku felt _Shooting Star_ grow closer to full power. It was like an enormous tidal swell being held back by a wall. The _Shénshòujìng_ may have been a relic, but it felt alive. And the only thing stopping its destructive power from being unleashed was Miku. It was powerful. Powerful enough to erase Gungnir, powerful enough to raise Frontier, and powerful enough to destroy itself if it wanted to.

_Why couldn’t it have destroyed me?_

**_“STOP WASTING MY TIME!”_ **

The momentary lapse in concentration made Miku certain the remaining clones would be destroyed, but instead what she heard was that goddamn heartbeat. Louder than ever, as Jeanne’s repulsive heart like eye swelled, and she realized too late that the beast was charging it up too, before looking straight at the ground.

She heard the explosion before she saw it. The shockwave that was released shattered every mirror of _Shénshòujìng_ and sent her flying into the air as the explosion of hellish energy followed. The force of which was straining her Gear to the absolute limit, but as she tried to stabilize her ionocraft modules, she missed the demon shooting out of the explosion and past her. The wind and her own heartbeat so loud in her ears, she didn’t hear Jeanne’s snarl of rage nor see the powerful kick coming.

It struck like a spear. Hitting her so hard in the gut she almost folded in half as she flew through the air, going at a faster speed from the devastating kick than she went from the explosion. All across Tokyo, people’s heads turned to see the purple light race across the sky like a shooting star, before crashing like a plane into the top of _Tokyo Sky Tower_.

She crashed through the skylight and the top floor, and did not even have a chance to appreciate the ungodly amount of pain she was in. No sooner did her body come to screeching halt amidst the rubble was _Shénshòujìng_ screaming DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! at her and without looking she flung herself into another direction. The jagged edge of Jeanne’s knife missed her by inches as it slammed into the ground with enough force to make the entire tower wobble.

**_“DIE!”_ **

It roared as it leapt at her again with another stab. Miku barely rolled away in time before it came down like a hammer. Instantly it came down again and she rolled again, not able to get off her back as Jeanne wailed down at her, her rolling to the side desperately to evade.

**_“DIE DIE JUST FUCKING DIE!”_ **

“ _God!”_ Miku rolled to the side again, but kipped up as she did so. Her foot found the underside of Jeanne’s chin, giving her a nanosecond of an opening to get onto her feet. She dodged another slash from the beast before launching her cables. They stung like a scorpion’s tail, stabbing right through Jeanne’s right hand and pinning it to the wall behind her. “ _Stop it, just stop it!”_

She’d immobilized one arm, but not the other. Her vision was temporarily blocked as Jeanne reached out with her free hand, grabbing her by the visor and pulling her into a massive knee to the gut. The air left her lungs all at once and she could see nothing but stars, feeling like she was gonna pass out. It was like being hit by a truck sized sledgehammer, caving in her chest as the force of the blow ripped her visor and entire head piece right off. She landed on her knees; mercifully, the sword hand was still pinned.

**_“JUST DIE! JUST DIE JUST DIE! YOU DESERVE TO DIE!”_ **

Jeanne reached out her massive palm once again, and Miku, without an ounce of air in her lungs, understood immediately. She was going to crush her head like a fucking grape. Without thinking, Miku threw out her hands, catching the palm with her considerably tinier hands. The thunderous clap echoed throughout the tower as she stopped the attack dead in its tracks. The ground beneath her feet caving in from the impact, her modules fracturing and sparking under the strain.

 _“I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!”_ Miku roared defiantly at the beast. Power surged within like an electric current, and she felt nothing but hatred for Jeanne. She’d tried everything. _Everything._ Why couldn’t she be strong enough?

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” She pulled the hand forward with all her strength, lifting Jeanne off the ground and throwing her across the room with impossible force. _Shénshòujìng_ was screaming in pain, one module practically falling off her leg at this point. She couldn’t help it. She was so furious. About Hibiki. About herself. About how Jeanne. About Jeanne doing all that she was. Forcing to think about these things. Think about these things that she couldn’t bottle away anymore. Think about things that were not about making Hibiki happy. God damnit. God fucking damnit.

 _“I HATE YOU! AND I HATE THESE STUPID THINGS!”_ Miku screamed as loud as she could. She reached between the module and her leg, and with one hand, ripped it away with ease. Jeanne was still getting to her feet, uncertainty in the beast's eyes for the first time as Miku brought her fist back all the way to her ear. “ _WHY DON’T YOU JUST DIE?!?!”_ She shouted as she punched, the module activating just as it would on her legs. She closed the distance at near supersonic speeds, her fist colliding with Jeanne just as she broke the sound barrier. The force of the blow sent Jeanne flying through what remained of the Sky Tower’s windows and down to the streets below.

She could feel her chest constricting. Like her lungs were beating the same as her heart, a painful stitch in her side. The writing was on the wall; _Shénshòujìng_ was breaking down, and she was going down with it. Even without the visor she could see how quickly Jeanne was already recovering. She’d be back here soon, and now Miku was not even sure if her Gear could still fly.

_Damnit!_

She was going to fail. Elfnein could call her a relic killer all she liked, but how could she possibly be expected to beat this monster? The one that had beaten Tsubasa. Beaten Kirika, Shirabe, and Genjuro all at once. Beaten Souji...killed Kashiyami…

“Kashiyami-san...Hibiki…” Her tears sparkled in the wind. That horrible hole in her chest where her heart used to be pulsed violently. She was going to fuck this up. She was going to lose. And Jeanne was going to kill her and Hibiki and Chris and Tsubasa and Kirika and Shirabe and Maria and Genjuro and Elfnein and everyone! Everyone! Everyone!

Everyone…

They were all going to die…

Because of her…

“Why…?” Miku slammed her fist on the edge of the roof. Of course it had to be here. This fucking Tower. This fucking tower where she couldn’t save Hibiki. Where Maria took her instead of just leaving her to die like she should have. None of this would be happening if she just died here. Why did Maria have to save her? Why did any of this have to happen? Why couldn’t she just die?

And then it hit her.

Elfnein’s words of warning.

_“No matter what, do not use this if you have not taken LiNKER! And even then only as a last resort! I’m serious! It could kill you!”_

She could hear Jeanne’s roar of fury from the streets below and for the first time in months, she felt calm.

Because she was going to die.

“I’m sorry Hibiki.” She whispered, touching her lips and blowing a kiss to the winds. “I love you.”

And she began to sing.

~!~

_**"** Gatrandis babel ziggurat edenal” _

The haunting melody reached Genjuro’s ears, pushing the medic that was trying to help him aside. “No…” He whispered, the pain in his chest having nothing to do with his injuries. High above the Tokyo Sky Tower, it was unmistakable. The purple aura was clouding the sky like a flood of power. The same one he had heard so many times in his nightmares as Kanade’s last stand played over and over again, reminding him of his greatest failure.

The failure that was happening once again right before his very eyes.

“ _Miku-kun!”_ He tried to run, but his legs gave out from under him. He couldn’t do it. He knew he wasn’t strong enough. He knew he wasn’t quick enough.

Once again there would be blood on his hands.

_**"** Emustolronzen Finé el balal zizzl” _

“What is that?” Yumi spoke, looking out the window of the ambulance at the purple flood in the sky. The melody was a strange one. One she had heard before. It was sad, but filled with hope, but also regret. 

A lament.

“No...Don’t do it.”

Yumi’s head whipped around in shock. “Chris-chan!” She was awake! Awake and reaching for the window, tears in the eyes of the peacemaker.

“Please Miku, don’t leave me too.”

_**"** Gatrandis babel ziggurat edenal” _

“Miku-san...” Ogawa was in shock. Frozen in place in the hallway of the hospital as he stared out the window as they wheeled Miku’s lover away for surgery. Helpless. Only able to watch the Sky Tower radiate power like it had never done before. A wild and dangerous power that had taken the life of Kanade. That had nearly taken the life of every single one of the wielders. 

And now...it looked to once again take a life.

_“She’s awake!”_

_“Restrain her!”_

The communicator was ripped from his hands so suddenly he had no idea what was happening until he heard her passionate scream into his device.

 _“MIKU!”_ Hibiki screamed with every ounce of her soul. “ _DON’T LOSE!”_

_**"** Emustolronzen Finé el zizzl” _

Jeanne pulled herself out of the rubble with a sob. Like blood pumping to her heart. She could barely see, but she could _feel_ it all. The agony of her bones aligning, of her horrible mutated wings reattaching. Of the twisted jagged edge of the broken sword that came out of her hand like a bone, the tip of which was like a raw nerve. Every single strike and blow to it brought more agony than the last. 

How fucking fitting.

Fitting for a beast like her. A monster. Was this what she wanted? Was this what Melody wanted? No...that was obvious now. This was what the horrible fucking demon wanted. The one who would eat her soul, the one who would eat all their souls to save her own skin. She could see why she wanted all of the _Symphogear_ wielders out of the way now. Was that her goal this whole time? Get her to attack one of them so she’d have to fight all of them? If that was the trick then it worked.

Jeanne hated herself for that.

Hated how much of a sucker she was.

But that would not stop her.

If Finé was going to eat her soul to come back then let her. Better her than Melody. She had come too far to stop now. She would not stop now. That girl on top of the tower. She could see her now. That infuriating circle of mirrors around her, charging its haunting melody to erase her from the world. As if Jeanne could be so lucky. How ironic it was that she was going to kill the girl who wielded a mirror, fighting her certainly felt like looking into one.

Miku was her name, and she knew that they were more alike than they weren't. Maybe they could have been friends. But really they probably would have just hated each other

_Kohinata Miku._

_How much do you hate?_

_It is not enough._

She knew that now. Because as much as she loved her precious Melody, it would not be as much as the world hated them both. So she would hate the world more than it could ever stand. She would hate the world until there was nothing left of it.

She would not stop.

She could not stop.

Not until her sister was back.

The only good thing in the whole wide world.

Who left it on Christmas Day.

Only when she was back, would she no longer be able to hate.

She launched herself from the ground. Launched herself with all the power of Balor’s evil eye. Flying through the sky like a great and terrible arrow, drawing her blade back. She could see her. Hands clenched in front of her as if in prayer. She had power, Jeanne knew that all too well, but Jeanne had more of it. The power to destroy. The power to be the end of all things.

Because she knew that Miku did not have enough time to charge up that attack.

And because of that fact, she would be the end of Kohinata Miku.

**_“IT’S! OVER!”_ **

She came down like a lightning bolt. A meteor, ready to snuff out the demon mirrors’ purifying light. A devastating and life ending comet to annihilate the future. 

Her aim was true.

Her target was not.

The illusion shattered into so many pieces of broken glass as Jeanne’s sword slashed through it with the force to kill her target a hundred times over. Her feet hit the ground hard enough to shake the tower back and forth, destroying its supports in the process. The impact sent spasms up her body as she shook at the error of her ways.

_Clever girl._

~!~

Miku watched Jeanne shatter through the illusion like a wrecking ball. She knew how quick Jeanne was. She knew she’d never have a chance to finish gaining the power she needed. So she let her clone take the hit; if she was going to die to this, at least she got to see herself die one last time. This power was overwhelming, like it was ripping her body apart just trying to channel it through her armed Gear. But she held through it, even as blood pooled in her mouth and dripped out of her eyes, nose, and ears, she held true, meeting the beast's furious gaze.

_“LEAVE US ALONE!”_

**_“OWIE OWIE BYE-BYE!”_ **

A shootout at the O.K. Corral.

Both fired.

Both hit.

The two powerful waves of energy obliterated the top of the tower with unbelievable power. The frenetic surges of energy lighting up Tokyo brighter than the hottest Summer day. Blinding light on top of the Tower from the dueling forces, fighting for supremacy, and at the heart of the blazing inferno were two girls. Two girls trying to save the person they loved most in the world.

 _Shénshòujìng_ was breaking apart, like trying to hold back gravity as all of Jeanne’s hate was coming forward. All she could do to stand her ground, but even within the violent vortex, she could see her. But Jeanne was not standing her ground no. She was _marching_ forward.

Jeanne’s power was immolating her in a violent aura of energy. And with that aura, she was closing the distance. Every step is like climbing a mountain. Every step taking more than she had to give.

**_“I WON’T LET YOU KEEP MELODY FROM ME!”_ **

She roared it through tears, putting a hand out, the aura weakening just enough for _Shénshòujìng’s_ light to break through and erase her hand entirely. Her painful wail did nothing to slow her march, as she put one foot in front of the other.

_“I NEVER TOOK YOUR MELODY FROM YOU! SHE DID! BUT YOU TRIED TO TAKE MY HIBIKI FROM ME!”_

Tears were blazing out of Miku’s eyes, and she felt a greater power.

Greater than Finé. 

Greater than _Shénshòujìng_. 

Greater than Jeanne. 

Greater than anything.

**_“I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE! NEVER FORGIVE! NEVER FORGET! AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THE WORLD THAT TOOK MY MELODY FROM ME!”_ **

“ _I TOLD YOU! YOU WILL NOT HURT ANYONE EVER! EVER! EVER AGAIN!”_ Miku screamed at her, putting everything she could into her attack. She could see Jeanne now, see her trying to stab at her with that damn broken blade. But the aura around it broke, unable to withstand the divine purifying light. Like a second skin, Jeanne’s aura began to melt away. 

The demonic wings ripped away as if they were caught in a wind tunnel. The eyes that covered her body popping like wet balloons. The bulbous heart on the side of her head exploding, showering the violent display in blood and gore. Her skin, dark and sickly green as a corpse began to peel off, the monstrous being being eroded away in the banishing light.

Miku could see her now. The one eyed French girl with brown hair and tired, frightened look on her face. Tears blowing in the wind as she realized what was happening, hand reaching out for Miku. “ _S_ _TOP! PLEASE! I DON’T WANT TO DIE! I JUST WANTED TO SAVE MELODY! I JUST WANTED TO SAVE MY SISTER!”_

Miku tried to stop it.

But it was too late.

“ _No!”_ Miku tried to reach out her hand when she saw Jeanne’s own vanish in the blinding light of the demon mirror. She Stared into the girl's eye, as that too was erased. The Superb Song of _Shénshòujìng_ blasting through the beast that was Condamnée Jeanne, and leaving no trace of the girl who watched her sister die on Christmas day behind.

The powerful beam finished its journey across the night sky. The floor beneath Miku gave way, and she could no longer support the weight of her sins.

And so.

Miku fell.

~!~

 _“No!”_ Elfnein shouted, watching helplessly from the street below. The tower was coming down as if it was struck by god. And in the heart of the destruction she could see her. A fading purple light falling with the tower

They were too late.

She failed her. She failed Carol. She failed Hibiki. And now…

She could only watch as Miku fell through the collapsing tower, when suddenly she was blinded. In the heart of the destruction, where Miku fell, was an impossibly bright flash of silver. Elfnein had to shield her eyes, half from the incredible light, half from fear of witnessing Miku’s death.

And when she opened them again she found herself looking at a Miracle.

She saw syringes full of LiNKER being pumped into Miku desperately. The unconscious wielder being held by an angel clad in silver armor, as like a Valkyrie from Valhalla, descended Maria Cadenzavna Eve.

“Maria...san?”

Maria crouched as she landed holding Miku close like that of a mother. ‘It’s okay.” She told Elfnein with a smile. “I had my extra LiNKER, but we have to get to a hospital fast; climb on my back!”

Elfnein had a million questions, no, a billion questions, but Maria was right. They had no time to wait, they had to get Miku on life support right away. So she leapt onto her back and wrapped her arms around her tight. Hoping against all hope that she could still save Miku. If Maria had been seconds slower than she…

“Is she going to die, Maria-san?” Elfnein asked, feeling like the child she looked like.

“Not if I have anything to say about it.” Maria said triumphantly. “It’ll be okay Elfnein. Be strong. As for Miku,” Even though she couldn’t look back at her, Elfnein could tell she was smiling. “Don’t you worry, I know a magic spell.”

And thus, as they floated down to the hospital, Maria kissed Miku’s forehead and cast her spell.

“Owie owie bye-bye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are approaching the first year of Steeper Steps being a thing. This is basically super surreal to me and I am blown away by the response to this fic of mine. I am so thankful to everyone who has left a comment. It was a year ago today that I got into Symphogear and its been pretty astonishing how much this rabbit hole of a series has just reawakened the writer in me. Here is hoping to be far more consistent on getting chapters out there, once again a huge thanks to everyone who has helped make this possible, from my betas to the fans of this dark tale, I appreciate you all so much and I look forward to any and all feedback you all have as we go into the future of Down The Steeper Steps of Slumber.


	16. Waltzing in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in this one here. I had some wisdom tooth surgery at the end of the year and decided to take a brief break from everything as I recovered. However I wanted to say thank you to everyone as we are now a year+ in the life span of Steeper Steps! I promise it's alll gonna get better from here.
> 
> CW for discussions about sexual assault and suicidal thoughts.

_Saturday_

_January 13th_

_2046_

_Chiba_

_22:05 PM_

“Thanks again for staying late, Harumi-san.” Minoru Yae said as he locked the store behind them. “Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you home?” 

“I’ll be fine.” Tachibana Harumi assured him with a polite smile. She was not about to go through the headache of turning down his advances once again. “Goodnight, Minoru-san.” She bowed politely, walking away from her third job, dead on her feet.

It was a bitterly cold night, and worst of all, it looked like it could very well start raining. There were few things worse than a miserably cold and snowy night that was then blanketed by icy rain. Maybe she could treat herself tomorrow and get a cup of hot chocolate on the way to the bakery. She’d have to check her accounts again to see if she could splurge like that.

After all, January was quickly on its way to their rearview mirror.

Stopping as she crossed the street, she sighed, checking her phone and seeing once again no calls or text messages. “Oh, Hibiki.” She looked off in the distance, where behind several buildings was the general direction of Tokyo. It was a queer feeling. If her daughter was farther away, she’d actually feel closer. It was a perplexing and contradictory feeling. There was nothing stopping either of them from making a day trip to the other, and yet...

And yet.

It really was quite cold out.

Maybe instead of getting a cup of hot chocolate, she would spoil herself by having a nice hot bath tonight. Just soak in it until her aches and pains were just distant memories, out of the realm of her consciousness. She could just run the bath and slip right in and let it all just drift away. Maybe she could offer herself a singular opportunity to not think about bills. To not think about making sure Hibiki had a proper cushion for university. To not think about whether or not Hibiki was actually going to go to university. To think about, maybe, just maybe, nothing at all.

But she couldn’t do that.

She tried to push the thought from her mind but it had been something bothering her all night. At first she thought it was because of the unexpected rush at the end of her shift. Then she thought maybe it's because of how close Hibiki was to graduation without any kind of post graduation plans that Harumi knew of. Then she thought maybe it was because of how late at night she spent hoping against hope that Hibiki would call for Christmas or New Year’s, only getting a vague text message remarking on how she missed her and was really busy, but no.

This feeling was different.

And familiar.

Terrifying familiar.

When her daughter had gone to that damned concert, she had this feeling. When her husband had been fired from his job, she had this feeling. When she spent all day at work and came home to her daughter asking where daddy was, she had this feeling. When the school called to tell her that her daughter had been thrown down the staircase, she had this feeling.

It was a feeling that never left. One that came so many times when Hibiki was at that new school of hers. One that haunted Harumi’s ever waking moment. Was her daughter doing something wrong? Was she doing something illegal? She was always so caring… was she allowing herself to be exploited for the benefit of another?

She’d chastise herself again and again. Every bird must leave the nest eventually, and no matter how much she wanted to keep her daughter safe, she knew she could not restrain how far she could go.

But she could also not shake this feeling.

It was late, but it was a Saturday, and if she knew Hibiki and Miku as well as she did, she knew they were probably up late. She could see it now, just as it happened so many times at the Tachibana dinner table. Miku helping Hibiki with homework she had put off until the last minute, Hibiki grinning with a mouthful of rice as she thanked Miku over and over for her assistance. Miku pretending to be offended and that that was the last time she was helping for certain.

Certainly that’s what was happening now. She’d give a call to Hibiki, and be her saving grace from the boredom of studying. She’d be so overjoyed she’d stop ignoring her calls and actually talk to her mother for once. And they would talk well into the AM just like they used to. Mother and daughter.

The feeling in the pit of her stomach was getting worse.

It was late. It was a Saturday. It was cold out with rain on the way. Hibiki no longer lived on school grounds after all. What if a car got out of control on the thin ice and mounted the sidewalk and ran her over? What if a mugger got her on the way back home from the store and stabbed her? What if Hibiki got locked out of her apartment and froze to death rather than bother anyone to let her in?

“Stop it, Harumi.” She muttered to herself. She was being ridiculous. Hibiki was a teenage girl. She had done the same thing to her own mother at her age. It was terrifying… but it was natural. It’s a part of any teenager growing up to ignore their parents after all. She had to accept that.

If only the feeling in her stomach would.

Her heart was beating faster. Thumping away like an orchestra. The night was dark and sidewalks were slick, but she was moving fast. Faster than she’d dare. Fast enough to yell at Hibiki, she ever caught her doing so in this weather. Fast enough that by the time she got to her street she was sprinting for her home like she was being chased by a predator.

The light was on. 

Her mother was awake.

Why, oh why was her mother awake?

She slammed opened her front door with a thunderous slam. Every light in the house was on, and she could feel there were strangers in the house. “ _Mother?”_ she shouted into the very not empty house.

“Harumi?” It was a voice that was not her mother’s, but one she recognized. The voice that came out of the living room was the voice of Kohinata Chiyoko; Miku’s mother.

“We’re in here.” Was the stern voice of Chiyoko’s husband Susumu. Before they could even meet her in the hall she was at the living room door.

And at that moment, she was witnessing everything at once. Chiyoko, halfway to the door from where she was sitting on the couch, tears staining her face. The smell of cigarette smoke in the air as Susumu smoked one to the butt, one of many that filled the ashtray next to him as he peered at the TV with his hand over his mouth in a grim expression. And worst of all, her own mother, glued just inches from the TV, eyes desperately searching for answers where there were none.

“What’s…” Instinctively she went to her phone, and only then she realized at last, that she had no service. She realized at least that she had not had service for a while. And she could see now, on the TV, the headline read _Sea of Flames_ as the newscaster spoke out of a helicopter, overlooking a burning Tokyo.

She sunk to her knees, all the strength gone from her body. “No… not… not my Hibiki…” She didn’t even feel Chiyoko catch her as she lost consciousness.

~!~

_“THIS IS MY SONG!”_

**_“OWIE OWIE BYE-BYE!”_ **

_The orange beam of hatred came at her like a locomotive. She felt the impact, and then she did not feel anything._

_Falling._

_Falling…_

_Fallen._

_A phoenix’s destiny realized._

_Blackness all around her. She was moving at the speed of light, yet nary moving an inch. Plummeting into an abyss that she had seen before, an abyss that she knew all too well._

_One that she craved more than she dared admit._

_The same abyss that took her wing was now here to complete the set._

_“No...they need my help!”_

_She could not die. Not now. Not here. Not with her comrades in such peril!_

_She saw a light and reached out to it in the darkness._

_“Please! Let me go back! I can’t leave them!”_

_She could see a hand reaching down to hers to clasp hers, and pull her back towards the light, towards life! But the hand moved past her own…_

_And flicked her in the face._

“Why are you still so serious?”

 _She opened her_ eyes, and there, taking her hand in the blinding light, was her wing. Red hair and an impossibly warm smile, floating down to her like an angel from heaven above.

“K-anade?”

Her angel circled her, wrapping her arms tightly around her in the embrace she missed. That both of them had missed so, so much.

In the heart of the blackest abyss, Tsubasa was not afraid.

And neither was Kanade.

“I’ve missed you so much.”

She sobbed as she spoke the words, surrendering herself to Kanade’s embrace. Shivering at the feeling of her form against hers, she felt whole. 

“I know.” Kanade grinned against her ear, “I guess I missed you too.” She teased, softly enveloping her into her arms.

It hurt. It hurt in ways she had not hurt in years, but tilting her head up to look into those gorgeous eyes and that insufferable grin, nothing felt farther away than pain.

“I tried for so long.” She confessed. “To steel myself from how much it hurt, to blunt my feelings, but I couldn’t.” She interlocked their fingers together, trembling. “I’ve missed loving you so much.”

Kanade smiled at her, hand soft around the back of her neck. “You never stopped loving me, and I have never stopped loving you.” In the darkness, where they were all that existed, they seemed to twirl, as if dancing. “And you loved others as well.” She whispered happily to her.

“I never wanted to replace you!” Tsubasa insisted, a finger to hush her lips.

“As if you could replace me,” Kanade said with a wink. “But you did open your heart to others.” She spoke, letting her hands cradle Tsubasa’s face. “Your beautiful heart, you gave to others, as you did to me. Through your songs, through your triumphs, through your struggles, you have always let those into your heart.” She smiled, “And I love you so much for that.”

“You will always be in my heart.” Tsubasa whispered, bringing herself to her.

“And you will always be in mine.” She promised as she stroked the back of her head. 

“Is this it for me?” Tsubasa whispered against her. 

“Is it?” Kanade whispered against her. In the darkness surrounding them, Tsubasa could see light, the very same that she had seen her descend from but it was not the only light. All around her there was a golden glow, one that felt oddly familiar, yet alien to her as well.

“I don’t want to leave you again!” She choked it out, the pain more than she could stand.

Kanade smiled, “Always so dramatic, my wonderful Tsubasa.” She placed her hand over her heart. “I never went anywhere.” She flashed that infuriating grin that Tsubasa loved so much.

Tsubasa looked into her eyes and closed her own. Pulling her in for an embrace as tight as she could stand, she dared to think of never letting go. For a moment, the golden glow began to fade, when Tsubasa released her.

Now it was Kanade who had tears in her eyes. “You know, then?” She said, looking so impossibly sad, but so incredibly proud. “That there is something waiting for us beyond all the fighting?”

Tsubasa smiled at her, reaching out and using her thumb to catch the tear streaking down Kanade’s cheek. “I’ve always known there was something, but now I know what it is.” She closed her eyes, turning Kanade around and pulling her against her chest. “And what I want it to be.”

“Inflexible no longer.” Kanade said, letting herself sink into Tsubasa’s embrace.

“I know what is waiting for me beyond the fighting.” Tsubasa whispered. “But the fighting is not done yet.” She held Kanade as tight as she ever had. “There are still those who must hear my song.”

Kanade leaned her head back, looking up at her with all the love in the world. “Fly, Tsubasa.” She said before Tsubasa reached down, and flicked her in the face.

“Always so dramatic.” Tsubasa mused as they let go of each other, flying together again. “If you remain so inflexible, Kanade, you’re likely to snap.”

Kanade's eyes were shocked, but full of pride. “You’ve flown so far, I think your head’s in the clouds!” She grinned, and their giggles echoed in the vast expanse.

Kanade reached out with her hand and Tsubasa took it. “Whenever you should return to me, we will sing together again.” She said, eyes blazing with a fire that never went out.

Their fingers interlocked, they stayed together. “We will all sing together one day.” Tsubasa promised.

Kanade smiled, watching her angel fade away. “And then our hearts will be one.”

~!~

When Tsubasa woke, she was not staring down Jeanne in the sky, or at her uncle in the street, or her beloved, waltzing in the dark. She was in a hospital room, that much she could tell. And beside her she could see Ogawa, asleep, looking as exhausted and burnt out as a man could be. She wondered dimly about the last day she let him have a day off.

Was Miku okay? Was Hibiki? Was Yukine? She wanted to get her body up to find out exactly that, but she could feel the drugs they had her on holding her down like a weighted blanket. For some reason, she could not find a reason to be anxious or worried. There was a softness to her cheek, a warmth that was not there before, and it took all her strength to bring her hand to it.

It made her smile.

Turning her head, she could see flowers. No doubt provided by Tomosato and Fujitaka, but it was the note on the table next to her bed that drew her eye. Summoning all the strength she had to reach out to it, she found it had a poem.

_Out of the night that covers me,_

_Black as the pit from pole to pole,_

_I thank whatever gods may be_

_For my unconquerable soul_

She thought of Kanade, standing against the flood of Noise without fear in her heart, and a smile on her face.

_In the fell clutch of circumstance_

_I have not winced nor cried aloud._ _  
__Under the bludgeonings of chance_ _  
__My head is bloody, but unbowed._

She thought of Chris, taking her one on one, saying her name like it was the most important thing in the world.

_Beyond this place of wrath and tears_

_Looms but the Horror of the Shade_

_And yet the menace of the years_

_Finds and shall find me unafraid._

She thought of Maria, facing her without judgement or hatred. Determined to bring her back, kicking and screaming if need be.

_It matters not how strait the gate,_

_How charged with punishments the scroll,_

_I am the Master of my fate,_

_I am the captain of my soul._

She thought of herself, standing across from Jeanne, unwilling to let her hurt Miku. The one girl who would never let others know she was in pain would not be harmed while Tsubasa was around. 

Smiling to herself, she let her hand drop, the poem still clenched tightly within it. Slowly but surely she slipped back to sleep, and thought of Kanade and herself, waltzing in the dark.

~!~

_Sunday_

_January 14th_

_2046_

_Kisarazu_

_22:19 PM_

“Youuuuu’re no good Akira.” Hideo slurred drunkenly as his best friend dumped him on the bed.

“Get mad at me tomorrow, then.” Akira panted, falling back into a chair, exhausted. Hideo was nearly twice his size, and carrying his drunk ass up the stairs was not his idea of a good time.

“I’m gonna!” Hideo popped up, looking ready to fight before collapsing back on the bed, drunk as a skunk.

“Sure you are.” Akira laughed, finally getting his breath back. He could hardly blame his friend, he’d gotten the foreman promotion after all. There was no other person Akira felt was better in charge of their site. And if he was lucky, maybe Hideo would stick his neck out for old Akira now and again. Construction was never really something he ever saw himself doing, but after all that craziness with the trees coming from under the ground, there were a lot of jobs that opened up because of it. It was his own little way to help the world like his little girl did.

Just thinking about her made him smile.

“Take it easy, buddy.” Akira said, putting a pillow under Hideo’s back and turning him on his side. Walking out the door, he heard the calls of sirens as yet another fire engine passed by, heading towards the Greater Tokyo Area.

“Circus in town?” He pondered, habitually grabbing for his phone and finding his pockets empty. Panic struck him as he tried to think where he could have possibly left it. When they learned of Hideo’s promotion he and the rest of the crew had spent all day celebrating in Kota’s big house. They drained booze like there was a leak in the dam, and at that moment, Akira was glad he was sober.

Jogging back up the steps to Hideo’s apartment, he ignored his current boss’s snoring and found his work vest. He’d dumped his things off here when they decided to celebrate, rather than make the round trip back to Tokyo proper. Grabbing his vest and tool box, he found the comfortable weight of his phone within. 

He had good timing too, as he could see now that he had only 15% battery life left, as well as 107 missed calls.

_What._

Dropping his toolbox immediately he got outside in a second; running downstairs he jumped into Hideo’s vehicle and plugged his phone in. He had never been more thankful that he had been the one sober tonight to drive Hideo home after the party. Who could have called him a hundred and seven times?

The phone rang again before he had a chance to check, and he got his answer.

“ _Akira? Oh my god, are you with her?”_

“Harumi?” Akira’s voice cracked as he said her name. “What’s going on?”

His thoughts raced to the fire engine that had passed by him seconds ago. To the ambulances that were passing by him right now. To the a hundred and seven missed calls from Harumi of all people, and that could only mean one thing.

 _“Is she with you?”_ Harumi seemed to plead over her side of the phone. _“Please tell me she’s with you.”_

“Harumi, please. Calm down.” Akira said gently into the mouthpiece. He thought of her then. His beautiful little girl with the biggest heart in the entire world. “I’m sure Hibiki is okay. I’m sure she is just fine.”

 _“How can you know that?”_ She cried on the other end of the line.

Akira felt a knot in his chest. Something was going on, something bad, but if he knew one thing, it was that no matter what it was, his little girl would see it through to the end. So he swallowed his anxiety and began to speak as clearly as he could, hoping to break the news as gently as possible.

“Harumi, listen, I’m gonna tell you something.”

_“What?”_

“She puts us to shame. She really does.” Akira laughed nervously. “I don’t even know where to begin to tell you just how incredible Hibiki is...”

~!~

_Sunday_

_January 14th_

_2046_

_Tokyo_

_23:49 PM_

Elfnein shut the door behind her.

She walked to the sink on wobbly knees. Peeling her bloody gloves off one by one, she flung them into the sink, her hands still shaking. Reaching behind her ears to undo the face mask and surgical cap, she let them also fall into the sink. Slowly, she slipped out of her scrubs, her tiny legs barely supporting her miniscule weight to the medical shower. She didn’t feel the icy blast of the water, not even when it rose to a boiling temperature. She could only stare at the cold wall ahead of her, trying with all the might in the world not to look down and see the river of blood going down her legs and into the drain.

Sixty Four Thousand and Eight Hundred Seconds.

One Thousand and Eighty Minutes.

Eighteen Hours.

Eighteen Hours straight, of nothing but surgery.

She hit her shoulder against the side of the shower, sliding down to the floor as a sob broke out of her chest like an escaped prisoner. She was shaking so badly it was like she was having a seizure, and there was nothing she could do to stop her tears. Under the scalding water, she felt nothing but the horrible anxious dread that seized her and refused to let go.

“Carol...please.” She prayed under the torrential downpour.. “Grant me this miracle. Just this once.”

~!~

_Monday_

_January 15th_

_2046_

_Tokyo_

_13:35 PM_

Maria breathed in and out.

All around her people moved as if someone hit fast forward on them, while she could only go forward in slow motion. Countless doctors, nurses, technicians, and SONG agents doing all they could for the survivors of the vicious attacks that ravaged the city.

And all she could do was bring them more bodies.

 _Be strong_.

Shoulders back.

Chest outing

Head up.

She would not cry.

She walked out of the crowded corridor and into the adjacent stairwell, unwilling to be a body in the way of those who could actually save lives. Compared to the rollercoaster of energy of the emergency room, the stairwell was like eerily calm and quiet. Sterile and cold like the endless halls of the White Orphanage. She could feel the fires and flames in her heart welling up in a blazing inferno of rage. Her heart was beating fast, her tooth digging into her lip, her fist balling in rage.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“ _DAMNIT!”_ She stopped her fist just before it hit the wall, quelling her rage lest she injured her hand. She was the only active wielder right now. She didn’t have the luxury of injuring herself out of rage and self pity.

“You blasted bitch.” She swore to the demon that had injured her friends. The beast that had torn through the night sky like a fresh terror. Killing Kashiyami and countless others, brutally injuring her friends, her girlfriend, and even her precious little angels. It shook her from head to toe as she remembered having to give permission to the doctors to perform surgery on them.

Kirika had needed an appendectomy from the internal injuries she suffered in the battle. Shirabe had needed blood by the buckets from how much she lost, in addition to removing a piece of metal from her arm. Instead of studying for exams or simply enjoying being kids for the first time in their fucking lives, they were laid up in bed several floors up.

Made all the worse by Kirika having sustained a concussion on top of everything.

Would she lose her memories again?

When she wakes up, would she even remember her?

The idea made her want to scream.

_Be strong._

She felt her phone buzz at her side, distracting her from her thoughts. If anyone really needed her, they would have contacted her on the communicator. Who would contact her on the phone?

Opening it up, she saw who.

“Oh.”

The elevator could have been faster, but it was no doubt being used by the countless personnel who were doing their best to help get patients to where they needed to be. SONG’s extra security measures would be getting in the way enough without her helping matters. Besides, the steep steps helped calm her mind and anxiety.

By the time she made it to the seventeenth floor, she was wondering if she should have taken the elevator. To her shock, the floor was primarily empty. She wasn’t sure what ward of the hospital this was, but she was glad for the relative silence. The only noise came from the loud buzzing of the lights above her head, but she did not let that distract her. 

At the end of the hall was a break room for the staff with the lights on. Within it the blinds and the window itself were open, letting the miserable gray day sink into the room like a fogbank. Her contact sat on the window seal, a bag of candy in her hands as she stared out of the window.

“Watch out for the glass.” Chris said without looking at her.

Maria blinked, looking at the ground and seeing the glass on the floor in front of the vending machine. She sat next to the vending machine was the crutch that the archer had been using to get around the hospital with, in addition to committing vandalism apparently.

“Hungry, I take it?” Maria posited. Spying a broom and dustpan in the corner, she carefully cleaned up the biggest shards of glasses as well as she could. At the very least it was a plastic-like glass so nobody would likely shear their feet, but it would be far from the best to step on.

“I didn’t have my wallet.” Chris remarked. 

“Maybe text me first next time.” Maria offered as she dumped the glass into the nearby bin. “You know you’re not supposed to be on your own.” She lightly reprimanded. 

“I’m not supposed to do a lot of things.” Chris said dryly. The natural light that shone through the gray clouds onto Chris made the girl look more sickly than she was. The bandages that were wrapped around her head gave her hair an unnatural looking poofed up appearance. Her bare arms and legs were covered as well, with a band aid across the bridge of her nose and cheek. The last addition was something that, had it been on the submarine post-mission, Maria and the others might have found cute. There wasn’t anything cute about any of this now.

Maria put the broom and dustpan away, sitting on the chair on the other side of the room. “This sucks.”

“That ‘bout sums it up yeah.” Chris let the silence fill the space between them. It dawned on Maria then that they had said more to each other right now than almost ever before. 

“What the fuck happened?” Maria muttered, resting her elbows on her knees. Even now she could not wrap her head around the past few hours, let alone the last few days.

“Just another fucking Tuesday.” Chris bit into a piece of candy and disagreed with it, spitting it back out and throwing it into the trashcan across the room.

“Kirika and Shirabe… Is there anything new?” Maria asked, feeling a shame at not going to their rooms and finding out for herself. Chris just shook her head in response.

“Full recovery, they are saying.” Something made Chris’s expression darken in intensity. “Senpai too.” She threw another piece of candy across the room and into the trash can with ease. 

“What about Miku and Hibiki?” Maria asked trepidatiously. She remembered what the prognosis had been when she had last checked in and it was… well it couldn’t be worse now that was for sure.

“Miku’s adrenals are fucked from the overdose.” Chris remarked bitterly. “Other than that, she’s out of it to hell and back. She should be worse off, fuckin’ miracle she isn’t.” She sighed hotly, and despite the daylight, the room felt even darker.

“And Hibiki?”

The pregnant silence stretched out for miles between them.

Chris’s breath hitched at first, but she swallowed it back. “They might be able to save her hand. If they do, she's got a snowball's chance in hell at retaining full feeling in it.” Her lip trembled, the words becoming harder to speak. “Lots of surgery required, but she’ll never be as dexterous as she was before. Not with that hand a least.”

This time the silence that filled the end of her sentence was so much worse than before.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Maria’s eyes burned a hole through the floor. 

“He’s got nothing to do with it.” Chris quipped irritably. “But once I find out who does,” She stopped, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out. “I don’t care what I have to do.”

Maria stared at her, realization dawning on her. “You don’t think it’s Finé?” She asked, genuinely shocked.

“Course I don’t.” Chris said, looking at her directly for the first time with scorn in her eyes. “If you listened to your kids more often, you wouldn’t be three steps behind the rest of us.” Her blunt words cut like a knife.

“What do you mean by that?” Maria demanded, standing up in her seat.

“‘Bout what? It not being Finé or you ignoring the kids?” The glare she shot her way pissed her off.

“They have names, Chris!” Maria said, no, _shouted_ at her.

 _“Don’t fuck with me!”_ Chris shouted back. “You say their names once, twice a month to their faces if they’re lucky?” Her words slapped Maria back into her seat. “God fucking forbid you crawl out of Senpai’s ass for five fucking minutes to check up on the kids you abandoned!”

Her words were like a bucket of ice water dumped over her head. Every missed call. Every cheerful greeting after a long absence. Every single moment she spent without them flashed before her eyes like the endless stretch of time, until all she could see was her two angels like they were the last time she saw them. In hospital beds, clinging to life. Only made that way because she wasn’t there.

“T-t-they think I abandoned them?” Maria croaked. It was as if Chris had ripped out her heart with a single sentence, before throwing it down and crushing it beneath her heel. 

“Oh don’t go…” She heard Chris start but the rest of her sentence was drowned out by Maria’s painful sob. If there was glass left in the vending machine to break, it would have shattered from her shriek of grief.

“What have I done? What have I done to them?” Maria muttered frantically through fistfuls of tears. “My angels. Am I as bad as the Doctor? As Mom? Oh good god what have I done?” She was shaking like an earthquake. Her entire world crumbling beneath her feet.

“No. Maria, listen, I—” Chris started reluctantly.

“Why do you say my name but not anyone else's?” Maria muttered. “Do you hate me that much?” There was no time for tears, but the tears came anyway. Without relent and without mercy, as painful and cruel as Chris’s words.

“Goddamnit, will you just listen to me?” Chris barked, getting off the window seat. Her legs wobbled under her weight, but she stayed up straight feeling flush. “I’m sorry, okay? That wasn’t right for me to say.”

Her words took a long time to reach Maria, who eventually looked up from the pool of tears in her hands to peer at her. “What?”

“They don’t think you abandoned them. Or at least I don’t think they do.” Chris admitted, looking off the side. “ _I_ do, but that’s—”

“Are you kidding me? Why would you say something like that?” Maria whispered in horror, unable to look at her any longer. “Why would you say something so cruel? Just to hurt me?”

Chris huffed, looking at her feet. “I worry about them too, you know.” The words ripped Maria’s heart into even more teeny tiny pieces. “I don’t expect you to stop your life for them or anything…” She rolled her eyes a bit, before admitting. “And I never get the impression that they _want_ you to either, it's just…” She met her eyes again at long last. “You could do a helluva lot more for those girls than you are now.”

Maria saw red. On her feet in an instant she drew her hand back to swing, when Chris’s instinctive flinch snapped her out of her brief fury. All of a sudden she wasn’t looking at Chris, but at herself, seconds before Mom’s riding crop came down across her face.

She lowered her hand.

“Sorry.” Maria said, wiping the tears away. “You make me so mad I wanna smack you, but I don’t think the doctors would be happy about that.” She let her hair fall in front of her face, letting her steal a glance at the girl she nearly smacked the shit out of. She expected to see fear, anger, maybe even a punch coming her way, but instead all she saw was shame.

“They love you, you know?” Chris whispered. “They really are angels, the both of them.” She sat down on the couch, looking at the floor. “It’s hard to watch. But I think that it’s better for them now than later.” She gulped, looking up at Maria again. “Learning to live without you that is.”

“Don’t say that like I’m dying.” Maria chastised immediately, finding the ground beneath her feet firmer to stand on.

“I’m not.” Chris said, using what little arm strength she had to push herself back up onto the windowsill. “Codependency is a helluva drug. They got it bad enough on each other.” She smiled to herself, letting a small smirk into the waiting room. “Guess them spreading it between us is better than the alternative.”

Maria crossed her arms, taking in the small girl's curious disposition. “You sound like you know what you’re talking about.”

Chris grinned at her. “I got first hand experience about what happens when you start living for someone other than yourself.” She did not flinch from Maria’s piercing gaze, even when the woman’s eyebrow raised in surprise.

“I didn’t realize we were talking behind Hibiki and Miku’s backs now.” 

“HA!” Chris laughed, grabbing her bag of candy, offering Maria a piece who shook her head. “I wasn’t talking about them.” She popped a piece of candy into her mouth and swallowed it without chewing. “I was talking about me and Finé.”

“The only other name you say besides mine.” Maria said without judgement, but with curiosity. “Why is that?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Chris chuckled without humor, gesturing towards the chair. “If you’re done having yourself a pity party, sit your ass down and maybe I’ll tell you.”

Maria measured a glare at her. “Fuck you.” She pulled the chair into the middle of the room with one hand, sitting down now directly across from Chris on the windowsill. “Talk.”

“How well did you get to know Finé back in the day?” Chris asked, laying longways on the window. 

“We didn’t see her much.” Maria said honestly, questioning the other girls' overly casual demeanor. “Mostly just when the big test results came in, or stuff about figuring out which _Symphogear_ they could test on us. Mom was our primary handler.” She shrugged. “We did not even know that Ryuoko was Finé.”

“Ha.” She threw a piece of candy in the air, catching it with her mouth as it came back down. “Cause your impression of her was dead to rights. Far better than whoever's playin’ pretender now.”

“You say that with such confidence.” Maria remarked, tapping her own forearm unconsciously. “How can you be so certain?”

“I know the bitch,” Chris said dryly. Fetching a piece of a candy from her bag, she bounced it off the door frame, ricocheting perfectly into the trash can. 

“I need more than that.” Maria said with an exasperated sigh. “If you really do think it’s not Finé this passionately then please, please!” She stressed the last word. “Give me a reason to back you up.”

Chris threw three more pieces of candy into the trash can before speaking again.

“Do you remember the first thing you said to me?” Chris said, seemingly changing the topic. Her tone was odd, almost sickeningly casual. Maria was suspicious, but she played along. 

“Let me think.” And she did. Thinking back onto her foolish days of following the mad doctor and his insane, ever changing plans. She remembered how she had clashed with Tsubasa on the grand stage, and of how Hibiki ripped _Gungnir_ from around her neck, but Chris?

“I don’t actually.” Maria admitted, feeling bashful. To her shock, Chris laughed.

“Even now you got the impression down dead to fuckin’ rights.” Chris sat up, looking at her dead on. “You had me fooled back in the day you know. For far longer than whoever's doing this now managed.”

“I don’t follow.”

Chris closed her eyes with a chuckle. “When I say I know something about living for other people I mean it.” There was a humorous, but very serious edge to her words now. “Cause I did live for another person, and that person was Finé.” 

Maria bit her tongue, watching her fellow Wielders eyes sparkle with both nostalgia and trauma.

“Eight days a week, twenty-five hours a day. I ate, breathed and shit Finé. Didn’t matter what. Didn’t matter when. I revolved around her like I was in fuckin’ orbit.” There was a mad glint to her eyes now. 

“Chris…” But the girl put her hand up, refusing to be interrupted.

“She had that carrot stuck out in front of my head well and truly good. Her love, no matter how cruel, was like fucking water to me.” Chris licked her lips as she said this. “She could fuck me ‘tll I begged her to stop. Torture me out of boredom. Starve me by just sheer forgetfulness, and I would take it.” And it was then, that Maria saw what might have been the most terrifying thing in her life.

She saw Chris smile the biggest smile she ever did see.

“With a smile on my face!” She put her fingers to the corners of her mouth for emphasis. “All it’d take was a single stroke of my hair, a single smile and suddenly…” She trailed off, putting her hand to her cheek. “It was worth it and then some. Because as long as it made her happy, that’s all that could possibly ever matter. So I’d take it! No matter how many shocks, slaps, and beatings it took, I would take it. Because seeing me suffering, seeing me in pain, seeing me in misery!” She was very excited now, her eyes sparkling like a kid at an amusement park. “It all made her happy. So it made me happy.”

Maria was frozen in place, barely able to look at the girl, but unable to turn away.

“But it’s not like she didn’t know how to hurt me.” Chris said without an ounce of joy in her heart. “Oh she did. Oh did she ever know how to hurt me.” She smiled without smiling, keeping Maria’s eyes. “Because when you live your life for somebody else, the cruelest thing that somebody can do,” She stopped herself, tears at the corner of her eyes, “Is act like you’re not even there.”

Maria stopped breathing at some point, she wasn’t sure when.

“That’s how I know whoever’s behind all this isn’t her. And why your impression was so dead on.” She said, sounding out of breath. “You treated me like I didn’t even exist. Of course you were Finé, you acted just like her.” She laughed sadly. 

“I’m sorry.” Maria said, but Chris seemed to be in her own little world, eyes glazing over.

“Names are powerful, you know. When you spend so much time where no one could give a shit what your name is, you start to lose yourself. But then,” Her breath hitched, excitement tinged on the edges of it. “Then someone says your name like it’s the most important thing in the world. And suddenly nothing makes you feel more in love than the sound of your name leaving her lips.” She was blushing, no longer looking directly at Maria, but at the endless space between them.

“And a very stupid part of you dares to hope that they love the sound of their name leaving your lips just as much.” Her fingers touched her lips at a phantom memory. “And then all of that and more is taken from you, and nothing becomes more terrifying than being stupid enough to dare to hope for that again…”

Maria took her hand in her own, startling the girl out of her painful memory and staring her down. “I don’t think that’s stupid, Chris.” She said leaving no room for question. “I don’t think that’s stupid at all.”

Chris did not look away, but blinked back tears as she squeezed her hand. “It’s like having a leash. Everytime I go to say a name, I get jerked back. It dies in my throat, and speaking feels like puking.” Her hand began to tremble in hers. “But with yours that wasn’t the case. Once you started playing Finé, it’s like my brain just switched that part of me off for you.” She laughed, and it sounded like a sob. “I didn’t even realize it at first, I just mentioned your name during a meeting. No puke. No leash. Nothing. Saying your name was easier than breathing.”

“Breathe.” Maria instructed with a painful squeeze to the _Ichaival_ wielder’s hand. Chris looked ready to lash out at first but bit her tongue. Closing her eyes she took in a deep breath, in and out again, falling into an almost hypnotic rhythm that lasted several minutes. When she opened her eyes again, she looked remarkably more relaxed.

“Feel better?” Maria asked gently, losing feeling in her hand.

Chris' eyes were on the clock as she let out another long sigh, as if meditating. “Seven minutes, not great, not terrible.” She said more to herself than to her.

“Seven minutes?”

“It’s a trick.” Chris replied, letting go of Maria’s hand to the older woman's silent relief. “Miku taught it to me.” She rubbed her hand, looking distant. “When I feel nervous about something I just,” Her eyes found hers, looking insecure before continuing. “You just sit yourself down and breathe. You focus on something else, and just zero in on it.” She shrugged. “And in ten minutes you’ll probably be fine.”

Maria smiled at her, feeling exhausted. “Maybe I should try that sometime.”

“Don’t laugh.” Chris said in a small voice, looking crestfallen.

“I’m not laughing!” Maria assured her with a giggle. “It’s just that back at the Orphanage we had similar things. Magic spells for boo boos, secret rituals for wishes.” She shook her head, nostalgic. “We were silly, but…” She hiccuped, remembering faces she had not thought about in years. “We would have died without them.”

“I’ve never used the full ten minutes.” Chris admitted, looking red in the face. “I guess I’m just impatient.” 

“Doesn't that just mean you’re getting stronger?” Maria asked, trying to resist an urge to pinch the red out of her cheeks.

“It means I’m tough to kill, that’s all.” Chris said, looking away from her flustered.

“Good.” Maria did laugh this time. “That goes a long way around her.”

“You’re tellin’ me.” Chris stole a glance at her again. “Well come on.” She barked indignantly. “I showed you mine, show me yours.”

Maria felt all the blood rush into her face at once. “I’m sorry?”

“A-a Ritual!” Chris said, looking as red as the dresses she wore. “You said you had some as a kid, so let’s see it!” She bit her lip nervously, and Maria almost felt like they were having a sleepover.

“Well…” She paused for a moment, remembering back. “When we got scared, Serena and I, we’d…” She stopped, about to say how stupid it was, when she saw just how invested Chris looked in what she was about to say. “When we got scared, we’d have nightmares or get scared we would just close our eyes and count to five.” She could almost feel Serena’s phantom embrace around her arm. “It helped.”

“What happens when you get to six?”

Maria blinked, the question sounding so incredibly genuine and innocent coming from Chris that it was enough to give her whiplash. “I…” She stuttered, completely flummoxed. “To be honest, I never tried.”

Chris looked embarrassed, looking away again. “I really am sorry about what I said.” She looked lost for just a moment. “I just don’t want to lose anyone else.”

“We’re not going to lose anyone else.” Maria said. “I promise.” Oh how that felt like a lie.

“Talk is cheap.” Chris said, a determined fire in her eye. “They can’t keep me in here forever, and when I get out, I'll find out who did this.”

Maria could not help but gaze at her in admiration. “You really are that certain it’s not Finé?”

“Sure as the sunrise.”

In unison, both looked out at the dreary window and broke out into simultaneous giggles at her word choice. Maria would need to check herself into the hospital just from the mood whiplash this conversation was giving her alone.

“I believe you. But the others might not.” Maria said as the giggle fit died down.

“That’s their mistake to make.” Chris said, popping out her candy again. “When I take this bitch down, I’ll get to say I told you so.”

Maria chuckled. “I suppose you will.”

“Whoever is doing this is obsessed with me. That could be a lot of people, but it ain’t Finé.”

Based on what Chris had told her, she could not honestly refute that.

“Then who could it be?” Maria linked her fingers behind her head. The ball of anxiety deep in her stomach rumbled as it reawakened, like it was going to leap out of her throat at any moment. “Who could have orchestrated all of this?”

“I don’t know.” Chris said shortly, throwing another piece of candy in the trash. “But I’m gonna fucking figure it out.”

Maria released her hands, looking up at Chris now. Despite the way the significantly shorter girl was perched on the window, she looked taller. “Chris?” The lavender haired girl turned to look at her, eyes burning in determination.

“Whoever’s doing this made a big fuckin’ mistake.” She said, breathing fire. “Fuck around with me and that ain’t nothin’ to sweat about. But they fuck around with my family and now they gonna have to come up with new ways to spell regret.” She cracked one of her knuckles with every word of her sentence.

Maria felt her heart pounding as she stared at the girl who was very much a woman. She’d never before seen this kind of fire blaze within her, even when their hearts sang in unison. It reminded her of someone. A certain blue haired someone whose touch she was missing everyday.

“You won’t be alone.” Maria said without hesitation. “Whoever is doing this is going down.” Her words felt so less confident coming out of her mouth, but she stuck to them. She would not let anyone here be alone ever again.

“Good.” Chris said, and she could hear a grin in her voice. “I’ll hold you to that. Looks like we’re gonna be the only ones at tip top shape for some time.” 

“Tip top shape?” Maria laughed at her. “You can barely stand.”

“Still kick your ass.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“You make it sound like I’d have to put in effort.” Chris turned to look at her with a grin which Maria returned, that same heart racing feeling flowing through her.

“You talk big for someone who can barely do a pushup.” Maria said, leaning back in her chair with a smirk. 

“Joke’s on you, I did ten pushups yesterday.” Chris snapped back.

“I’d like to see that.”

“Bet you would.”

They stared each other down again, both smirking, neither blinking. Maria felt so restless she had to stand up, giving her an excuse to break eye contact without admitting weakness. They both made it about thirty more seconds, before bursting into laughter once more. “So where do we start? You seem to be the expert here after all.” She laughed, wiping a tear from her eyes before cracking her very tight neck.

“Find out whatever they managed to dig up on that Jeanne girl.” Chris said looking back out over the city. “Figure out what the hell happened to make her into a monster like that.” 

_That name rings a bell…_

“Ogawa said that they were compiling a report on all they could find on her. Apparently she lived in the city, but it’s still a work in progress.” Maria said, her stomach doing somersaults thinking about the monstrous girl that had attacked the town. She couldn’t place why, but she felt like something was on the tip of her tongue and it was driving her insane. As if she was inches away from an epiphany. 

“Probably cause’ they’re tryin’ to connect her to Finé,” Chris remarked. “Waste of goddamn time.”

“It’s gonna take convincing that it’s not her, you know.”

“It should be obvious,” Chris said. “If they thought ‘bout it for more than no seconds they’d realize that.”

Maria felt that horrible somersaulting feeling her stomach just worsen, staring at the girl intently. “What makes you say that?”

“Tch, you of all people I thought would realize it.” She looked at her with a raised eyebrow and a grin. “Finé is only reborn when she’s exposed to an Aufwachen waveform.” She held up her hands in a shrug like gesture. “Who’s exposed to those more than us?”

The somersaulting in her stomach turned into a complete nosedive.  
  
“Oh yeah,” Maria said with a half laugh, scratching the back of her head. “Of course.”

“It’s how I know it’s not her, because the most likely way it could be her is if it was one of you guys.” Chris scoffed, looking back out the window. “And yet everyone can’t see the truth staring them right in the face.”

~!~

The stars stared back at her. On her back like this, she could see every star in the universe. The silent ocean waves crashing on the beach, the tide just reaching her bare feet, making her giggle at the tickling sensation. 

The seaside air filled her lungs and she breathed in deep, longing the marine smell that you could only get in the black of night on nights like this. If you stared out at the ocean, you’d see nothing but the infinite darkness. The occasional break or surf or high rise of an ocean swell, but on other nights, it could be as calm and still as glass.

The sand was wet beneath her, so she decided to make a snow angel in it. Or would it be a sand angel in this case? She didn’t know, and to be honest, Miku didn’t care. Staring up at the endless starry escape, flapping her legs and arms as she made an angel in the sand, she was so very happy.

Hearing the tide recede, she could not stop the smile on her face, and sitting up, she watched the water go. Black as night, dark as space. It receded farther and farther back, the sound of fish bouncing around uselessly in the low tide. If there was a moon to cast light, it would be eclipsed by the rising mountain of water, now more than a hundred meters tall. It was as if the Himalayas had turned into a wave.

Smiling to herself, Miku laid back down in the sand and turned her head to the side. Hibiki’s vacant eyes stared back at her, devoid of life, devoid of anything. Turning onto her side, Miku let her hand gently stroke her beloved's face as the wave roared towards them.

“I’ll always be with you, Hibiki.” She whispered as the waves ended her everything.

~!~

_Tuesday_

_January 16th_

_2046_

_Tokyo_

_16:35 PM_

Elfnein wrapped her hands around the oversized mug. The warmth seeping into her fingers and making her smile up at Fujitaka appreciatively. “Thank you. Fujitaka-san.”

The SONG agent gave her a pat on the head. “You’ve been working tirelessly these last few days. It’s the least I could do.”

Elfnein shook her head, “I should have been able to do mo-oh?” She had taken a sip of her drink, only to find the warm liquid to be impossibly sweet. “It’s not coffee?”

“Hot chocolate.” Tomosato confirmed as she walked back into the room. “Doctor’s orders.” She gave the little alchemist a tiny wink.

Red in the face, Elfnein bowed her head. She hardly felt like she deserved any kind of reward. While Tsubasa and Miku were going to make recoveries in very little time, the others would take considerably more time. The concussion Chris received was severe, and it was a credit to how hard headed the _Ichaival_ wielder was that she was already up and walking around. Not that anyone could have stopped her of course, despite a few well meaning nurses best attempts. Once Chris learned that the others were in the hospital, nothing in the world would have stopped her from getting to them.

She was still estimating Kirika and Shirabe’s recovery time to be somewhere between six weeks to six months, depending on how they did. Both were up and walking around, even eating unsupported. Kirika seemingly had no memory loss, but they were keeping a watchful eye out in case of any neurological issues the trauma may have reawoken.

The real issue of course was Hibiki.

The fact that she was even alive was a testament to how resilient the _Gungir_ wielder was. She had been stabbed, cut, and slashed over two dozen times. Not only had the knife gone directly through her palm and out the backside, but she was also stabbed in the shoulder blade repeatedly. Her back had been horribly cut, and the attempted murderer had even tried to stab her through the top of the head. Digging pieces of the knife out of the top of her skull was a memory that Elfnein wished she could burn away, but she had no such ability. But what hit her home most was Hibiki’s face which now had a long scar from the top of her head to her jaw just in front of her ear. It was like a taunting reminder of just how close they had come to losing her.

And just how close indeed. Between the blood loss, hypothermia, and the shock…it was a miracle she made it. It felt so blasphemous to suggest that she wondered if Carol herself would rise from the dead to scold her, that was all there was to it. It was a miracle.

And even that thought brought guilt. Discounting just how much Ogawa did to save Hibiki’s life that day was an insult. It was a matter of minutes, if not seconds. Had Ogawa not pieced together something was wrong, had he chosen to walk down a different path on his way there, had he not made her a tourniquet…

She shook her head in frustration, banishing the what ifs from her brain. It was pointless to do so now. The reality of their lives had changed incredibly. Hibiki would need a long, long, period of recovery and rest; far more than her near death experience at the Zwei Wing concert. Elfnein was her doctor, and more importantly, Hibiki was someone she could genuinely call her friend. Just as Hibiki had not left her side when she was injured, neither would Elfnein.

Taking the lid off her cup of cocoa, she noticed the whipped cream on top of it, but paid it no mind. Gripping the drink tight, she chugged it down with a furious gusto. Gently placing it down, she put her hands on her hips with pride, raring to check up on her patients, completely oblivious to the whip cream on her upper lip.

“Back to work!” Elfnein cried out, charging down the hallway, her lab coat flying behind her like a cape. Down the hall she knew she’d be able to find most of the girls in the waiting room that had been turned into an improvised recreation room for the girls as they recovered. But before that she had a vital stop along the way.

The SONG agent smiled at her as she approached, opening the door to Hibiki’s room as she walked in. She wondered for a moment why the agent was outside the room, but when she entered she found the answer to her question.

Sitting right by Hibiki’s side was Miku. The poor girl looked sound asleep with her head in Hibiki’s lap, arms outstretched, holding the girl’s uninjured hand in both of her’s. It almost felt taboo to witness a moment so intimate that Elfnein stopped, taking in just how soft the two were.

Hibiki was off major life support now. Slowly weaning her off the painkillers, she was expected to wake up within the next day or so. Elfnein believed in her. The girl had a knack for bouncing back, and she was going to make sure to help her do so. And with Miku by her side like she was, she knew that nothing could go wrong.

The young alchemist's footsteps were naturally light, but she treaded extra carefully as she looked over Hibiki’s vitals. What would Carol think now? Of seeing her here, helping these two girls who had been saved by nothing short of a miracle?

_There is no such thing as miracles!_

Elfnein frowned slightly, a lingering itch at the back of her head, like a repeated knocking from somewhere you could not see. As if she was forgetting something vitally important. She glanced at Miku, thankful for Maria for what felt like the hundredth time that day alone. But that lingering anxiety would not drop, and she could not help but think about how Maria’s tracking had come up with an **ERROR** message. She had said she was just asleep, only waking when one of the explosions had shattered the windows in Chris’s apartment.

The guilt of thinking of Maria in such a way made her sick to her stomach, but the lingering anxiety stayed. An irritating itch in the back of her head. Overlooking something obvious. She’d gone over everyone’s charts countless times, so what could she have missed? Everyone but Hibiki was awake now, and at least able to walk around, yet, she could _feel_ the scolding of her Master for failing to see something as plain as day.

Miku stirred, slowly raising her head up. “Elfnein-chan?” Miku muttered, rubbing her eyes. A low voice, filled with exhaustion, as if lost in a dream.

“Miku-san.” Elfnein bowed to her, broken out of her concentration. “Did I wake you?” She asked gently, keeping a careful eye on the sleeping Hibiki.

Miku shook her head, looking up at her girlfriend. Elfnein’s heart ached for the poor girl, watching the pain etched on her face as clear as the scars on Hibiki’s own. Elfnein wished she could use alchemy to make it all go away, but that was not something she could do with the same mastery as Carol. It just felt so unfair for the two girls to suffer the way they were now. If she had been faster at rebuilding _Shénshòujìng,_ would any of this even be happening?

“How are you feeling, Miku-san?” Elfnein broached, getting the girl to break her gaze from Hibiki for just a moment. She looked ready to lie, but it died in her throat.

“Weak still.” She responded honestly. “It’s really easy to fall asleep, and it’s hard to stand up without feeling lightheaded.” She said, looking everywhere at Elfnein without making direct eye contact. Did she truly loath to show weakness this much?

“That’s perfectly normal.” Elfnein said, noting it down on her clipboard anyway. “You have been keeping up with your meals yes?” She probed.

“I have.” Miku said, and judging from the several stacks of empty trays on the chair beside her, Elfnein believed her. 

“Good.” Elfnein whispered cheerfully. “I would like it if you slept in your own bed, Miku-san. Hibiki-san is in good hands, but you need to get quality rest as well.”

Miku blinked, looking away from Elfnein to her sleeping lover. Elfnein had watched how Carol, with every weave of alchemy and construction of Autoscorer, slowly became more enraptured with her own pain. Soon, that pain became a far more impenetrable armor than _Dur Da Bla_ ever was. She was forced to bear witness to it with Carol, and she was witnessing it again right now.

“She needs me.” Miku breathed out. Small streaks of tears were illuminated in the dark room, and Elfnein wished she could do more than just watch.

_Those who waste their time wishing for things will die from their own inaction!_

Her Master’s words echoed in her ears, and Elfnein made up her mind with determination. Marching over to Miku, she fetched a bottle of _LiNKER_ from her coat and put it into Miku’s hand, breaking the girl from her stupor. “What?” She asked, blinking in confusion.

“You’re right. She does.” Elfnein said, looking up at her slumbering patient. “She won’t be in this hospital forever. Soon she will be back where she belongs, in you and Hibiki-sans home. And there she will be protected by Miku-san.” Elfnein smiled at her, “But right now she is in the hospital. And she is protected by everyone here.” She took a risk, reaching out and placing her hand on Miku’s head, giving her a soft pat of reassurance. “Everyone’s doing their part to make sure she is okay, but you gotta rest up to take over full time once she’s out of here, okay?”

“Elfnein-san…” Miku wiped the tears from her eyes. “You… have a little...” She reached her hand out, wiping the whipped cream from her upper lip, making the scientist blush red as blood.

“Oh!” She gasped loudly, before clamping her hands over her mouth at the loud noise. Her lab coat was far too long for her, so the sleeves rolled down past her hands if she was not careful. “Thank you, Miku-san.”

“Can I stay with her until tonight?” Miku asked hopefully. “I’d like to be the first thing she sees when she wakes up. I’ll sleep in my own bed, but I just woke up so I wouldn’t be tired anyway.” Miku bartered, and Elfnein nodded in agreement.

“That sounds okay to me, Miku-san.” She said, self consciously checking her coat to make sure more whipped cream was not on it. “You have your panic button still?”

Miku flashed the red button in the center of her palm. SONG was taking no chances with security, giving everyone a panic button to trigger in case anything were to happen. A followup attack in their weakened state was all but expected, and was better to be safe than sorry.

“And you also have your LiNKER too.” Elfnein said smiling. “Please, let me know right away when Hibiki-san wakes up.” Elfnein requested. Miku nodded, but she could not help but notice the look of confusion on the girl’s face. “Miku-san?”

“I was just wondering why you gave me the LiNKER is all.” Miku said, looking at the vial in her hand.

Elfnein smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. “Hibiki-san is in bad shape. Right now you are right by her side. If someone tries to get to her, I don’t want you to fight without it again like last time.” That same itch hit in the back of her head, as if Carol was from beyond the grave screaming at her, but she ignored it. “I’d rather you have it and not need it, then need it and not have it.” 

Miku’s shocked expression lasted for several moments, before she nodded. “Thank you Elfnein-chan.” She looked over to her beloved sadly. “Thank you for everything.”

“Please don’t push yourself too hard, Miku-san.” Elfnein requested one last time, before heading out the door.

Sighing to herself with relief, she smiled at the SONG agents at the door before continuing on. That had felt far more draining than she expected, and she made a mental note to sign Miku up for a major psychological evaluation once they were out of the hospital. It was something she considered a personal failing for not doing earlier. It was impossible to tell just how upset Miku truly was. She could only hope that Miku knew that nothing that had happened was her fault.

Walking into the recreation room at long last, the energy and atmosphere was like night and day from where she just was. The room was full of light and life. Genjuro, Ogawa and Souji were sitting against the wall talking privately, while off in the corner was Kioku and Iwasawa, the latter looking perplexed by her guitar's stubborn strings. Tsubasa sat on a couch, watching as one of Hibiki’s friends, Itaba Yumi, was in the middle of giving a passionate explanation of the weekend events to Kirika and Shirabe. The two listened, completely enraptured, their mouths open in awe while Chris and Maria flanked them, helping each girl eat. 

“And then, just as the foul beast struck, a _brilliant_ purple beam of energy shot out of the tower! The force of Miku’s Spirit Eradication Ray of Justice was too much for the creature to withstand!” Despite having her arm in a sling, Yumi was nearly jumping up and down in excitement at her recounting of events. Her two friends, Andou Kuriyo and Terashima Shiori, watched the girl, both looking worried the girl might blast off into outer space.

“‘Spirit Eradication Ray of Justice’ huh?” Chris said with a raised eyebrow as she poked Kirika in the arm to take the spoon from her.

“That sounds amazing Itaba-senpai!” The blonde said cheerfully. “I didn’t know Miku-san could fight ghosts too!”

“She—!” Yumi’s attention seemed to be broken immediately. “Kirika-chan can you fight ghosts?”

“Dess!” 

“I don’t know what that means!” Yumi said excitedly. “Do you also have a Spirit Eradication Ray of Justice?”

Tsubasa looked up from the motorcycle magazine she was reading. “Are you referring to the _Superb Song?”_

 _“IT HAS A NAME?”_ Yumi bounced so high in the air her head nearly hit the ceiling.

“Yes.” Tsubasa nodded. “The most powerful attack the _Symphogear_ system has at its disposal. It is an extraordinarily power—”

“ _And it’s just called the Superb Song?”_ Yumi gripped the top of her hair with her uninjured hand. “That’s so boring! You should call it something with style! Something with meaning! Like _Swan Song!”_

Chris nearly choked on her own food, nervously looking to Tsubasa. “That’s a little fuckin’ morbid don’t you think?” The _Ichaival_ wielder said through a laugh.

It was this moment Elfnein spoke up. “It also is not accurate! _Swan Song_ refers to a singer’s last performance before they retire, which is not accurate at all to the _Superb Song’s_ function and purpose!”

“Yeah but _Superb Song_ is kind of a crap name though innit’?” Chris responded, just now noticing the doctor in the room.

“What could we name it instead?” Tsubasa asked, finger on her chin.

“Alright!” Chris stood up on the chair, still only barely taller than Maria who stood as she did. “ _Superb Song_ sucks! Any recommendations for changes?” Using her crutch, she pointed at Shiori. “Go!”

“Oh dear, what about _Ultimate Song?”_

“Ehhh, too wordy.” She pointed the crutch to Kuriyo. 

_“Victory Song?”_

“C’mon, it’s not the Olympics.” She swung the crutch around wildly, nearly hitting Maria in the face as she pointed at her. “Go!” Kirika and Shirabe ducked their heads in unison, taking both of their moms plates of food with them across to the other side of the room.

 _“Valkyries’ Song?”_ Maria offered up, only for Chris to roll her eyes.

“Little on the nose don’t you think?”

Yumi popped up. “Oh!” She was positively beaming with excitement. “What about _the_ _Superb Song of the Valkyries_!?!”

 _“This isn’t one of your fuckin’ animes!”_ Chris barked, before pointing the crutch across the room to Kioku and Iwasawa, targeting the guitarist first. “Go!”

“ _Final Song_?” Iwasawa offered bashfully as she adjusted the strings on her guitar.

“Boring!” She turned the crutch to the blonde. “Go!”

_“Song Song!”_

“Get fucked!” Chris retorted, turning it now to Kirika and Shirabe.

“What about _Climax Song_?” Kirika offered.

“Nah that’s crap.”

“ _Supreme Song_?” Shirabe suggested.

“Crap.” She turned now on Elfnein, who felt the pressure of all eyes on her at once and just sputtered the first thing that came to mind.

 _“Super Song?_ ” She said without confidence.

“That’s pretty good!” Chris said genuinely, making the alchemists heart soar. “But it’s taken!” She said as if it couldn’t be helped, crushing Elfnein’s hopes and dreams.

Tsubasa spoke up. “Oh, what about _Swan Song_?”

Chris turned around with a grin on her face, pointing the crutch like she was a musical conductor. “That’s perfect!” Immediately raising a hand up at Elfnein’s protest. “While acknowledging the fact that it is a completely inaccurate name for what the attack is, we’re gonna roll with it on account of the fact that it sounds the coolest.” She crossed her arms smugly, before being shoved off the chair by Maria.

_“WHAT THE FUCK!”_

Elfnein stepped around the two bickering wielders, making her way towards the trio of civilians. She felt bad for them the most, as just like Kioku and Iwawasa, the three had been just innocent bystanders to something truly horrendous, and not for the first time.

She hoped it was for the last.

“You really should try to take it easy, Yumi-san.” Elfnein said nervously. “We don’t want a wound to open.”

The otaku just smiled brilliantly at her. “Elfnein-chan! Ahhhh” She reached a hand out to ruffle her hair, only to have her hand be gently but firmly stopped by Shiori.

“Now Yumi.” Shiori said in a motherly tone. “Please do not harass Doctor Elfnein.”

“Doctor?” Elfnein said to herself, face reddening. Shiori’s tender eyes met hers and smiled. 

“We cannot thank you enough for all that you have done for us, Doctor Elfnein.” Shiori said, wincing slightly as Elfnein’s eyes glanced at her side.

“Are the painkillers working for you?” She asked, switching into doctor mode immediately.

“Yes.” Shiori said politely. “I just need to be more careful with my movement is all.”

Elfnein nodded, not catching the girl avoiding eye contact with her. She turned to Kuriyo, “And how are you feeling, Kuriyo-san? Still light headed?”

“Huh?” Kuriyo said absentmindedly. In contrast to Yumi and Shiori, she seemed to be paying far less attention to the people around, keeping her hand close to the side of her head. “Yeah I’m fine.” She said in a dejected voice, raising alarm bells.

“Is there something wrong?” Elfnein asked, standing on her tiptoes. The bandages around the girl’s head looked to be secure and she could not immediately see anything wrong with it.

“No, nothing’s wrong, I was just...” She brought her thumb to her mouth biting it. “Any idea how long it will take to grow my hair back where you guys cut it?” She asked, biting off a piece of her nail.

Elfnein thought about it. She had suffered a very large gash in her head, requiring them to shave off a good portion of the left side of her hair. “Six to eight weeks perhaps? Depending on the healing.” Elfnein said, noticing the disappointed look in the girl's eyes.

“Oh okay.” She said without enthusiasm. “Thanks ‘Doc.” She looked away, and Elfnein could not help but feel like she said something wrong. Watching Shiori place her hand on Kuriyo’s thigh, she walked away, suddenly feeling like an outsider.

She walked towards Tsubasa carefully. The swordswoman put down the motorcycle magazine and greeted her with a soft smile. “Elfnein.” She greeted with great respect. They had already managed to take her off of everything but very minor medications post-battle with Jeanne. Something that seemed like an impossibility.

No. Not seemed like.

Something that _was_ an impossibility. Yet somehow wasn’t.

Tsubasa was relaxing in the middle of the rec room with her peers.

Not in an intensive care unit. Not having life saving procedures performed on her. Hell, by all accounts, barely a scratch on her body. It was impossible, it was insanity, and it was both of those things at the same time and also it was the truth. She had signs of extreme exhaustion and some smoke inhalation, but nothing even remotely serious. The blood work and CAT scans were still being poured over but the truth remained the same.

Kazanari Tsubasa was still alive.

This was far from the first time Tsubasa had defied death after all. But this… 

This felt different.

Was this the true power of _Amalgam?_

It was the only possibility her mind could come up with.

The _Amalgam_ of _Ame no Habakiri_ was always astonishing. It had even managed to overcome the insane power of the Kazanari family’s patriarch. The sheer raw power that it had displayed last night was nothing like she had seen not performed by Carol. Of course, that was the catch twenty two of the _Amalgam_ ’s power; when channelled into offense or defense, the other is forsaken. And Tsubasa had not been in the Cocoon’s form when the blast hit her. 

The _Symphogears_ themselves of course could withstand tank fire and subzero temperatures. But that monster, Jeanne as it was called, was shown to be perfectly capable of fighting on par and even surpassing the relics in certain respects. And that bright blast of hers was seemingly her most powerful attack, yet… Tsubasa had survived it. Survived it with her _Amalgam’s_ defense matrix essentially offline.

The last attack that Tsubasa had sent Jeanne’s way must have dulled the blast. But no, that did not make sense because she was taken out of the fight. She was forced out of her Gear. She was defeated. How could the blast completely overpower _Amalgam_ , yet leave Tsubasa unharmed? The Kazanaris were certainly made of something else entirely, but this was ridiculous.

No. Not ridiculous. Impossible.

A miracle.

_There is no such thing as miracles!_

It could only be by a miracle that Tsubasa was alive. And here Elfnein was, questioning it. How did this happen? How did _any_ of this happen? It was just yet another impossible aspect of what felt like an impossible month that was packed into just a singular night. They were still under a week removed from it, yet it felt like it happened two seconds and a lifetime ago.

“Elfnein?”

Tsubasa’s voice startled her out of her brief reprieve. “Oh, sorry Tsubasa-san!” She said turning beat red, before becoming positively crimson when she felt a soft hand pat the top of her head.

“We owe you our lives, Elfnein.” Maria said warmly. Taking a seat next to Tsubasa she leaned forward on her elbows, cyan eyes sparkling. “But you better be taking care of yourself too.”

“I am! I got lots of sleep last night!” Elfnein said heatedly, while omitting the fact that _lots of sleep_ in Elfnein terms was two hours. But that overabundance of sleep did little to curb her overactive mind, especially in regards to Maria. Her thoughts ran back to that **ERROR** message they had so ominously received. She would need to inspect Maria’s Gear, but that would be a hard thing to suggest with so many people off the field.

_Be strong._

Maria’s own words played back in her head, and she realized she was staring very intently at the now perplexed looking singer. “Is there something in my teeth?” Maria said embarrassed, taking out a pocket mirror to investigate.

“No, no!” Elfnein assured, “I’m just glad that you both are doing okay.” 

Having thoroughly inspected her teeth, Maria closed the mirror, with Tsubasa putting the magazine away. “I would like to show my thanks to you, Elfnein.” Tsubasa said humbly. “Would you like to accompany us to karaoke when things have returned to a calm?”

Elfnein head swirled, remembering how empowering it was to shout her heart out into the microphone at the karaoke club. It almost helped her forget the murder she witnessed soon after. “You’d wanna do that with me?” She said, eyes sparkling.

“Oh, am I going to lose you to Elfnein?” Maria protested, throwing her arm around Tsubasa casually. “I should have known.” If it was possible, all the blood in Elfnein’s tiny body was flooding her cheeks.

“How would you lose me if I am right here?” Tsubasa asked quizzically, making Maria choke on air.

“ _Christ!”_ Maria choked out, which Elfnein used as a way to escape the conversation so she would not become so top heavy with embarrassment her head rolled off her shoulders. She made her to Kirika and Shirabe, who were quickly eating the food they had so expertly stolen.

“How are you both feeling?”

“Great!” Kirika said happily, stuffing more ice cream into her mouth. “They say I can't have any solids, but ice cream is not solid!” She opened her mouth wide to chomp down, but stopped, turning her head trepidatiously to find Shirabe staring at her disapprovingly. “Ahahehehe, not that it’ll be every meal or anything!” She looked at Elfnein for help, who stealthily gave Shirabe a thumbs of approval.

“Good! Shirabe-san, how are you feeling? Are the iron supplements helping?”

“I don’t feel lightheaded anymore, but I still get dizzy in the shower.” She answered, her plate full of meat in contrast to Kirika’s. 

“That’s okay. Does your dorm room shower have a seat?” Elfnein asked, to which Shirabe nodded. “Okay good. Then we should only have to make minor adjustments. We monitor just to make sure that we keep your levels high.” As she said this however, she noticed Shirabe look much more distant.

“So you believe me this time.”

It was a statement that was framed like a question, and Elfnein could feel her cheeks heat up. “Of course!” She said flustered. She tried desperately to think of something else to say; she knew that Shirabe had been hurt at Elfnein’s suggestion she had hallucinated, but she did not know for her to still be angry about it.

“Mhmm.” Was all she got for a reply, even Kirika looking somewhat panicked between the two, unsure what to do.

“Well,” Elfnein said helplessly. “If you two need anything, please don’t hesitate to say so.” She requested before walking away, feeling her face burn. She had to find a way to make it up to Shirabe somehow. The last thing that she needed was for Shirabe to hide things from her because she feared she might not believe her.

Walking over towards Kioku and Iwasawa, she noticed that the two girls had been joined by Chris. Iwasawa had, out of almost anyone, suffered the most. Her femur had been snapped completely in two, in addition to her breaking her tailbone. They had her set up in a special wheelchair that thankfully still enabled her to play the guitar, which seemed to be something that everyone benefited from. Elfnein had walked the halls multiple times through the last several days, finding one of the girls invariably relaxing as Iwaswa strummed on her guitar, including herself after a particularly grueling battle with Hibiki in the operating room.

Kioku, on the other hand, had been an entirely different deal altogether. The girl had suffered severe lacerations, and it was miraculous that she did not lose an eye from her injuries. Not to mention her internal injuries, a broken wrist, and pretty bad blood loss. But that was not what made it difficult to treat her, no. What made it difficult was the fact that her medical records did not exist anymore, because of one very big reason.

Kioku was a Receptor Child.

A child who was hunted down and poached by the forces organized by Finé to help curb delays brought on in case of her demise. The consumption of a child's soul was barbaric enough, but the fact that Finé had them trained like soldiers in addition to it was something that still made her sick to her stomach to this day.

Ogawa had been the one to find out first hand, as his resources scoured the ends of the earth looking for information on her when the usual resources did not. She wasn’t privy to the details, only that it had required Vice Minister Shibata playing hardball with the Americans to get more information about her, as Maria did not have any recollection of her. The Americans were only useful in confirming the information about her involvement with the organization, but little else.

Chris smirked at her as she walked up to them, “What’s up ‘Doc?”

Elfnein gulped as the other girls eyes trained on her, once again hating being the center of attention. “I just wanted to check up on how you all were feeling.” Peering over her clipboard nervously, she met Iwaswa’s eyes first, who looked reluctant to stop tuning her guitar.

“Fine, I guess. These painkillers are fun.” She said. “They said I might have to stay here longer?” She asked Elfnein, and the alchemist felt much more in her element.

“Not for very much longer. We just want to make sure that nothing else is disturbed. Tomosato-san is working with your University to enable you to study remotely with assistance!”

The pink haired guitarist blinked in surprise. “Oh-t-thank you.” She looked frightened for a moment, and Elfnein realized that the young woman was trying to avoid tearing up.

“OI!” Chris grabbed Elfnein by the collar and playfully ruffled her hair in a loose headlock. “What about me? When am I getting out of here huh?” It took her a second, but Elfnein realized that Chris was giving Iwasawa a moment to compose herself without shame, so she played along.

“ _AHHHHH! NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO!”_ She protested overdramatically, worming herself out of the hold and pouting dramatically at her. Such was her positioning now, she had her back almost entirely to Iwasawa. “You are pushing yourself too much already!” She accused the wielder pointedly, to which she shrugged in response.

“Meh, it’s not like it’s the first concussion I’ve had.”

“It shows.” Was Kioku's dry reply.

“OI!” Chris turned on her, grinning. “Doc’ here didn’t tell you ‘bout what else they diagnosed me with here.”

Kioku quirked an eyebrow, “Huh?”

“Yup. Turns out I have a very serious case of being a badass.”

Kioku went to facepalm, but remembered her injuries and just closed her eyes in frustration. “Oh my god.”

“And you know what else?” Chris said tauntingly.

“I hate you so much.”

“It’s incurable.”

“I wanna die.”

“Um!” Elfnein spoke up, trying to cut into the two girls' weirdly flirtatious banter. “Kioku-san, would it be okay to ask you a few questions?”

Kioku blinked, her green eyes looking perplexed. “Yeah sure, is something wrong?” There was a nervous hitch in her voice. In that singular moment, Elfnein wished she had all of Carol’s powers so that she may go to those still alive who contributed to the White Orphanage, and introduce them to the manner in which you dissected a god.

“Nothing’s wrong!” Elfnein said quickly. “It’s just there’s some, well... Blank spots in your medical records.” Kioku paled instantly, her unbroken hand being comfortingly grasped by Chris.

“Oh right, about back then and all.” She looked dejected, like a balloon that had all the air in it let out at once.

“I’m sorry if it’s difficult to talk about. I just need to know if there were any-” She struggled for the words that would not make it sound as invasive as the questions were. “Procedures done, that might change our treatment for you going forward.”

Kioku’s eyes darkened, lost in the shadows of the past. “I wasn’t really there long enough for any of that shit.” Elfnein spotted Chris giving a comforting squeeze to her hand, and remembered just how rarely Chris would give physical affection to others.

“If I may, how long were you with them?” Elfnein probed, getting a brief sideways glance from Chris.

“Like two seconds.” Kioku laughed, not meeting her eyes. “They put me in a holding cell and took my blood. A few of the other kids kept talking about Fi-” She stopped, looking at Chris who gave her a simple nod to continue. “Finé. About how she’d eat our souls and shit.” She shrugged. “They didn’t let us out of the common area for the new recruits. They stopped giving us food, and then like a few days later they shut it down and just sent us every which way.”

_No wonder Maria had no idea who she was._

Speaking of, Elfnein noticed just how often Kioku’s eyes drifted up towards the other FIS girls. She could hardly blame her, especially given how public Maria’s address to the world just a few years ago had been. She had a lot of other questions for the girl, but she would leave that for Ogawa and Chris to handle more directly.

“Thank you, Kioku-san.” Elfnein said smiling. “Please just let me know if you need anything.” Kioku offered her a genuine smile and nodded as the alchemist walked over to the Ogawa brothers.

“Elfnein-san.” Ogawa said happily as she approached. “I believe you need to do a psychological evaluation of my brother, as he is not well mentally.”

“I miss when all you did was cry all the time.” Souji said from his wheelchair.

“As you can see he is quite irritable.” Ogawa said as if his older brother had not spoken.

“Scratch that, you still do.” Souji laughed at his own joke. He’d taken a mighty blow from the beast. It’d be a long painful recovery process before he could walk again, let alone be back to the full extent of his abilities.

“I’m sorry,” Elfnein said nervously. “What brought this on?”

“I learned of my brother’s, shall we say unconventional fighting techniques today.” Ogawa said, glancing back at his brother.

“Doing what I can with what I got.”

“You lit yourself on fire.”

“It was cold.”

“Uhhhhhhh,” Elfnein stammered, desperately looking for a way to run away from the conversation when Genjuro’s welcoming voice beckoned.

“Elfnein-kun, if you would please join me.”

She was never so happy to follow orders in her life. “Yes Commander?” She said brightly as she jogged over to him. His ribs were still heavily taped up, but ever the Kazanari, he was already refusing wheelchairs and walking around on his own. Normally it’d infuriate her but she was happy to be away from the squabbling. 

“How is Hibiki-kun?” He asked, taking a brief glance around the room before glancing back down to her.

“She’s well within expectations.” Elfnein responded. The fact that she was no longer on oxygen was the best news they had. “I also managed to convince Miku-san to-”

_“Commander!”_

From behind her, she could feel the Ogawa brothers tense at Tomosato’s voice over the comms. Elfnein felt a chill go down her spine as she looked at Genjuro, who put the communicator to his ear.

“What is it?”

_“We have a situation.”_

~!~

Miku smiled at Hibiki, softly stroking her uninjured hand. It felt almost taboo, to touch this hand. The same hand that only existed because of Hibiki’s relic fusion. When she learned that Hibiki had lost an arm that day, it was like her world had ended.

That wasn’t even the worst thing that happened to either of them that week.

She didn’t know why she found that funny, but as she stroked that hand up and down, she wondered. How many times would they get this lucky? How many times would her Hibiki bounce back? Would she even bounce back from this?

Resting her head against Hibiki’s stomach, she just watched her sleep for a while. 

She would bounce back from this.

Even if Miku had to be there every step of the way, she would bounce back from this. No matter what happened in the future, they would be together, and she would see Hibiki through to the other side. They were Hibiki and Miku, and even though she did not deserve to bask in the glow of her shining sun, she would as long as she could.

But longer than she deserved.

She felt it before she realized what was happening. Rapid movement from outside, several people talking, hurried voices; a commotion. The LiNKER in her pocket felt like a gun, and she stood up, clutching her pendant close. Ready to fight. Ready to kill.

She glared at the door, daring it to open. Daring something come in and try to take her Hibiki away. Dare someone try to strike when her shining sun was most vulnerable. She would strike them down with all the power of _Shénshòujìng_ and more. She didn’t care who dared walk through, be it Jeanne, Finé, Shem-Ha, or all fucking three of them. She killed one of them, she’d kill all of them. She’d rip Finé’s soul from her body for daring to ever lay her fucking fingers on Hibiki.

And Shem-Ha…

She’d make her pay for not killing her when she had the chance.

When the door opened, whom she saw made her freeze like a deer in the headlights.

it wasn’t Shem-Ha.

It wasn’t even Finé.

“Mom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me this past year, and here is looking forward to all the fun we can have later~


End file.
